Manasquan Life-Volume 5, Issue 62

You Don’t Have to Do It All by Allison Feehan, N.D., D.Psc., CRMT

Are you the type to create to-do lists? Do you try and organize yourself, your career, your children? Have you read those articles on how to successfully do this or that? I have even written some of those how-to articles and I’ll admit, there are consequences to doing it all. “No matter how hard you try, you cannot beall things toall people. Let’s face it, you can’tdo it all.”

There is always more and there will always be more to do. I know what I want in my life and I know how to organize those areas of my life to make them successful, but it doesn’t come without exhaustion s ometimes. Sometimes I even convince myself to go a little bit harder or a little bit longer. I understand the push or the need to do more or the push to have more. Perhaps like me, you put others in front of your own needs. Let me just get the kids situated and then I’ll eat. Sound familiar? This is just a quick fix until the next action item needs to be addressed.

Our society has ingrained in us that being busy means we are successful. You might even be stressed about being stressed. Isn’t putting the oxygen mask on yourself first on the plane before helping others a successful approach? You need to consciously know when enough is enough. Retrain your brain to care for yourself and your needs prior to others all the time. Your body will start to send you little alarms that it is tired and needs a break. If you do not listen it will start to break down on you. Your sleep will be interrupted. You may even start to experience adrenal fatigue type symptoms.

If you know you need a change or even a slight moderation to the rate you are functioning at try a few of these tips. First and foremost, before you tweak anything, ask yourself this question every time. “Does this bring me joy?” When you have two minutes to rub together you need to be certain that you are doing something because it brings you joy or happiness. Otherwise, you are doing something out of obligation. If this obligation is “necessary” then you need to view as such and be ok with your decision. For example, I need to feed the children first then I can make myself something. We love our children so this obligation is acceptable to us but be sure that you make something for you that you will enjoy.

Start to assess other situations or tasks in your life similarly. Maybe you need to say no to a social gathering because it may stress you out with other things you would joyfully like to get done. Saying no is ok. Maybe your children are younger than mine and you need to forgive yourself for happily going out with your girlfriends for a few hours while leaving the children with a sitter. Maybe you don’t want to work out in the morning but would much rather do it in the evening. Your time is precious.

“At the end of the day, if you don’t feel good because you’re not taking care of yourself, what’s the point?” Find your balance. Wherever you are not feeling joy or happiness, make a change. Take the time for you. You can still be successful, in fact, you may be even more successful and much happier. It worked for me.

Allison Feehan N.D., D.Psc, CRMT Owner of the Coastal Cottage 64 Bridge Avenue Bay Head, NJ 08742