21 Toys - Educator's Guidebook by Twenty One Toys

TOYS

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Toys are not really as innocent as they look. Toys and games are preludes to serious ideas.â&#x20AC;? - Charles and Ray Eames

industrial designers, inventors, philosophers of creativity

Written, edited, designed, and produced by Ilana Ben-Ari and Gonzalo Riva Published by Twenty One Toys Inc.

Copyright ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the authors -- except in the case of certain noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. (Still, it might be nice if you checked.) Twenty One Toys Inc. 720 Bathurst St. Toronto, Ontario M5S 2R4 Canada hello@twentyonetoys.com

What do we mean by Empathy & Creative Dialogue? Empathy The ability to imaginatively enter another mind, to experience and understand feelings that are not our own.

Creative Dialogue The process of using empathy to continuously adjust, adapt, and re-articulate what we thought was already understood so that it makes sense to someone else, on their terms and not ours. Communication in service of the other.

For more details, see the Empathy & Creative Dialogue Category section (page 27).

Table of Contents This is a Resource, Not a Program   Ages, Grades and Language Suitability

4 6

When to Use the Connexions Toy™

What Does Success Look Like?

Using This Guidebook & Toy Package   In Your Toybox: the Connexions Toy™ Package How to Use the Cards   Before You Start   Play Instructions

15 16 18 20 21

Things You Already Know . . .

Categories   Empathy & Creative Dialogue   Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources  Teamwork Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources  Leadership   Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources  Bullying Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources  Conflict Resolution   Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources  Special Needs   Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources Big Group With Multiple Toys   Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources  Adventure   Key workshop info: prep, debrief, tips, resources

25 27 29  33 34 37 40  43 46 49 51 55 57 61 62 67 67

Final Thoughts

Acknowledgments

Learning Goals

This is a Resource, Not a Program The Connexions Toy™, along with this guidebook, is a tool to enhance, support, and meet the challenges of curriculum. It is not, however, a program to map directly onto (or deliver) specific curriculum points. Since it was designed to allow for spontaneity and flexibility in a range of school settings, Connexions doesn’t come with a schedule or any particular classroom mandate. Our hope is that its ability to spur discussion and discovery will ultimately be seen as its defining strength -- in building more empathic schools, more collaborative classrooms, and a clearer path to developing the skills of the 21st century. For a general picture of the moments and ways the Connexions Toy™ can be relevant to you and your students, see When to Use the Connexions Toy™ on page 10. If you prefer to work backwards and instead think about the kinds of outcomes you want for your students through the Connexions Toy™, see What does success look like? on page 12.

In many schools, the toy will be used mostly by resource teachers, learning consultants, and administrators or staff teams who are tasked with cultivating positive school cultures or more progressive learning environments. These actors are well suited to determining the best applications for the toy in their particular domains, as well as collecting various perspectives to innovate and develop new uses that we havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yet discovered. In other schools, classroom teachers will see the toy as a tool to be used regularly. This may be because they too are accountable for culture and character, or because they work inside flexible models such as classrooms based on centres or self-directed learning. In all cases, we welcome the lessons and conversations that will emerge from this wide array of experiences.

ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys

A Word on Ages, Grades, and Language Suitability This guidebook is mostly written for you, the educator. Our language and tone reflects that aim. That said, each category has a section (largely duplicated in your Category Cards) to help you workshop the game play and takeaway lessons with your students, and to think about the insights you want to reveal. These workshopping sections are written in language that is more straightforward and at about an intermediate level of complexity. They are meant to be a sample script that helps get you started in your discussions with students -- but even so, although the toy is universal we certainly make no claim that the language in the guidebook can be universally applied without some tailoring. For instance, we imagine that talking about “play metaphors” for historical conflict may be a topic reserved for senior students. On the other hand, we were pleasantly surprised to discover that some five year-olds really can discuss “empathy” -- a word they can neither read nor write, but nevertheless a concept they explore with ease. For this reason, we decided early on to get out of the age-mapping game and let teachers and facilitators decide what works for their groups.

The Connexions Toy™ has been and continues to be used by children of all ages, teenagers, and even adults. We are constantly surprised by the creative approaches and re-purposing that goes on to make the toy’s lessons relevant to primary, junior, intermediate, senior, and post-secondary years. Whatever age cohorts or cognitive levels you work with, we trust that you know best how to translate our middleof-the-road language into a discussion that is tailored up or down. And we’d love to know how it goes! Send your stories, anecdotes, and shocks to educators@twentyonetoys.com.

When to Use the Connexions Toy™ Moments in the classroom or curriculum points when the Connexions Toy™ will be useful:

Academic Support Student / Classroom Performance • At the outset of the first group project for the class, to nurture more effective communication and teamwork. (page 33, Teamwork) • During assignments or modules that involve design or innovation, where students have to consider the needs of others or unforeseen developments. (page 27, Empathy & Creative Dialogue) • In classrooms structured around learning centres, making the toy a communications centre for students to sharpen their skills of description and imagination. (page 61, Multiple Toys; page 67, Adventure) (With this setup we recommend you don’t make the game play heavily rule-bound, prescribing to students the “one way to play”.) General Curriculum Linkages • As an exercise for broad literacy goals, especially to develop students’ abilities to describe. The abstract shapes can be useful in strengthening a “critical literacy” function. • As a support to numeracy development, in order to teach students that there are different ways to solve a single problem -- as well as to tackle problems with analytical, logical, step-by-step approaches.

Sample Discipline-Specific Uses • Before assigning artistic work or in order to prepare students for activities involving self-expression to wider audiences. (page 27, Empathy & Creative Dialogue) • During discussions or simulations of historical events, civic issues, or media literacy, to better understand different actors and perspectives. (page 49, Conflict Resolution) • In the social sciences, exploring more complex issues of diversity, institutional bias, systemic exclusion or isolation, social justice, and treatment of “the other”. (page 49, Conflict Resolution) • Within ESL or foreign language instruction, to gradually develop comfort with words, real conversation, description, navigation, and goal-directed adaptation.

Diagnostic Use Try using the toy as a low-pressure assessment tool throughout the year -- helping gauge whether students are actually becoming more adept at description (literacy), more at ease with analytical reasoning (numeracy), more effective at solving problems in teams (group work), or more complete in considering various perspectives and sources of information (history, media literacy). © 2013 Twenty One Toys

When to Use the Connexions Toy™ Moments in the classroom or curriculum points when the Connexions Toy™ will be useful:

Student Character & School Climate Fostering Positive, Inclusive Classroom Culture • At the beginning of the school year, to introduce a discussion about school culture and to help establish and promote community based classrooms. (page 27, Empathy & Creative Dialogue) • As an introduction to an anti-bullying week/month, or when bullying is becoming an issue in the classroom or across the school. (page 43, Bullying) • If a special needs student is going to be joining the class in the middle of the year, in order to prepare students for empathy issues like navigation, diversity, and difference. (page 55, Special Needs) • During relevant PD days and other staff trainings, to help develop greater empathy and communication among not just students but also staff, as well as between staff and students. (page 67, Adventure) • As a touchpoint for interaction and participation during a school-wide assembly to discuss issues of bullying, tolerance, inclusion, diversity, leadership, etc. (page 61, Big Group with Multiple Toys)

Responding to Current Affairs & Community Events • In the aftermath of conflict in the school, or to explore issues of conflict in the news. (page 49, Conflict Resolution) Extra-Curricular & Co-Curricular • In the lead-up to student council elections --or similar situations involving leadership and followership-- in order to help guide students in their decision making. (page 37, Leadership) • During tryouts or when organizing teams for sports, debate, Model UN, etc. (page 33, Teamwork)

Diagnostic Use Try using the toy as a fun assessment tool mid-way through and at the end of a school year or any specific enclosed program (e.g. leadership development), to compare against levels of empathic accuracy and social skills at the start of the time period.

What does success look like? While emphasis is put on getting the players to re-create each other’s patterns correctly, that is not the ultimate goal of the game. The ideal outcome is to uncover insights into our thinking and communication styles -- using play as a medium to get students talking about Empathy & Creative Dialogue.

Academic Performance You know you’re on the right track when: • You hear students ask better, more descriptive questions when they don’t understand a concept. Especially take note when they ask you to better explain something that confuses them. • While students work on a project idea you see them more thoughtfully consider a number of angles and perspectives. • You see students work better in teams, listening and valuing each other’s input with more open communication and collaborative approaches. • You see students produce creative work that is more aware of and directed at a number of viewpoints, and increasingly able to tap into group trends or external concerns.

Student Character & School Climate You know you’re on the right track when: • You hear students state cornerstone assumptions about empathy as facts, such as saying, “Not everybody sees things the same way.” • You hear students actively listen and check in with each other -- asking each other questions like, “What do you mean by that?”, “Are we talking about the same thing?”, or, “Does that make sense to you?” • You see students acting as if they’ve thought about how they will affect others. • You see students stand up to bullying, maybe even explicitly using vocabulary around empathy and compassion for others. • You notice students continue to struggle with issues of empathy over subsequent weeks and months, asking more complex ethical questions. • You see students becoming more aware and curious about how others’ minds work, and why people have different opinions.

ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys

Using This Guidebook & Toy Package This guidebook is meant to be used as a resource in helping you lead your class through discussions with the Connexions Toyâ&#x201E;˘ for Empathy & Creative Dialogue. In this guidebook you will find instructions, suggested dialogue and creative approaches to talking about Empathy & Creative Dialogue as they relate to certain topics. You can find these topics on your Category Cards as well as on the right side of this page. On the last page of this book: We have included a Learning Goals framework to help outline your intentions for each workshop. It is also included on separate cards. The last page can be photocopied when the Learning Goals Cards provided have been used up.

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Empathy & Creative Dialogue

Teamwork

Leadership

Bullying

Conflict Resolution

Special Needs

Playing with Multiple Toys

A bit of Adventure

In Your Toybox: Connexions Toy™ Package

made with love by studio junction

Guidebook

21 Toys

made with with pride love made by studio and lovejunction of craft

Cards

(see next section)

Toy Ingredients

4 blindfolds

set of dark toys

set of light toys

Toy puzzle pieces: • Have 3 unique shapes. • Connect in various ways. (see Puzzle Pieces Card for details) • Have various textures, raised dots, and materials.

Please note: It is important not to give the puzzle pieces names as it is up to each player to decide what words to assign the abstract shapes.

How to Use the Cards Your cards are designed to be your crib sheets, holding all the key points. You can use them as a guide and reference while you play. There are 4 different types of cards:

Game Instructions Card: Describes the instructions of the basic game with helpful tips on the back. Keep in mind that the length and difficulty of the game decreases as you use less toy pieces, or ignore elements like the raised dots.

Puzzle Pieces Card: Shows you all the ways that the puzzle pieces connect -- with suggested arrangements for beginner, intermediate and advanced play. These arrangements are meant as inspiration. Feel free to use them, but also put together your own versions! There are thousands of different possibilities, so have fun with it.

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Category Cards: These cards are variations on the Game Instructions. They provide suggested introductory questions and reflections geared toward Empathy & Creative Dialogue in the context of more specific or thematic discussions. Once you have a sense of how the toy works, feel free to add your own twists and variations -- or to use it in entirely unexpected parts of your students’ curriculum. Learning Goals: These cards provide you with questions to frame your workshop or discussion. Feel free to write on each card before starting your workshop. There is also a copy of these cards on the last page of the guidebook for you to photocopy when you have used all the cards provided.

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How to Play The Connexions Toy™ is, at the beginning, most easily presented as a 2 player game. If you have a group of students, ask for two volunteers to play. The class will act as the “third player” by observing the game play. (That’s not just a throwaway comment. You’d be amazed at the contribution of spectators.)

Before You Start Here are a few tips: Set the stage... • Find a flat surface on which to play. (table or floor) • Sit in a half-circle or open arrangement so that everyone will be able to see the players and toys. • The students will grab at the toys to explore the tactile elements and how the pieces fit together. That’s ok! (Note: For first-time players, ignore the raised dots.) During the introductory and debrief discussions... • Ask open-ended questions when exploring ideas and insights. • Lead the students to make connections between their experiences in the game and their everyday lives. Keep in mind during the game play... • Do not give the pieces names! The players will name them. • The pieces are designed to be difficult, so be patient. • Give players time to complete the game; avoid setting a time limit. • Pay attention to how the students play so you can refer to it later in the discussion.

Instructions Step by step... 1. Choose a Category Card. 2. Go through the Introduction on the front of the Category Card with the group. 3. Choose 2 players from the group. (Player 1 & Player 2) 4. Give each player a set of toy pieces (see Puzzle Pieces Card) 5. Tell both players that they each have identical sets of pieces. 6. Let both players feel and explore the pieces, shapes and textures, as well as how they connect. (Note: Do not give the toy pieces names.) 7. Have both players put on their blindfolds. 8. Create a puzzle pattern with Player 1â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s set of toys that only the remaining group (the audience) can see. 9. Play begins! Both players remain blindfolded while Player 1 explains to Player 2 how to re-create the puzzle you made for them. (Both you and the audience should stay silent during game play.) 10. When both players feel they are done, they may remove their blindfolds. 11. Go through the Discussion on the back of the Category Card. (For further information on the debrief, explore the relevant sections beginning on page 25 of this guidebook.)

* Please note that for students with visual impairment, blindfolds are optional. When game play is finished they can swap puzzles to touch and find out if the patterns are identical. More information can be found on page 55.

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Things you already know, but we thought we’d remind you •

When assessing which conversations to discuss and how far to go, you know best what your classroom can and cannot handle. We are here to provide a framework to help guide and support your pedagogy.

•

Every wrap-up to this game will look different and every person in the room, including yourself, will add a different dimension to the discussion.

•

Make sure you give yourself time to reflect on the kind of discussion you want to lead, as well as what success looks like in your classroom.

•

Refer to a Learning Goals Card (also found on the last page of the guidebook) to help frame your design of the game play and discussions.

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Categories Welcome to the fun part! The remaining sections of this guidebook go over suggested activities, discussions, and reflections by topic. These provide a light framework that will support and guide the pedagogical approach unique to your classroom. Give yourself some time to review and reflect on how you will run the game play with your class. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact us at educators@twentyonetoys.com Enjoy!

Empathy & Creative Dialogue

Teamwork

Leadership

Bullying

Conflict Resolution

Special Needs

Multiple Toys

Adventure

ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys

“the imaginative act of stepping into another person’s shoes and viewing the world from their perspective... a radical tool for social change” - Roman Krznaric

cultural theorist, human rights advocate, founding faculty member of The School of Life

Empathy & Creative Dialogue There are a number of ways to define empathy : imaginative projection, vicarious experience, foreign consciousness, partiality or everyday mind-reading. The most commonly used phrase is “to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” or, in other words, to see the world through someone else’s eyes. We like to describe empathy as: The ability to imaginatively enter another mind, to experience and understand feelings that are not our own. This can be an exceptionally difficult thing to do without creative thinking and communication. Understanding others means having to use our imagination to break out of our default setting -- the personal ways of thinking and interpreting the world that we come to see as natural, normal, and sometimes the only “right” ways. Almost by definition, then, there is an inherent creativity to empathy. That’s why © 2013 Twenty One Toys

Empathy & Creative Dialogue we include what we call creative dialogue as a key skill in being empathic. It is the process of using empathy to continuously adjust, adapt, and re-articulate what we thought was already understood -- in essence creating a new common language that, on the best of days, blends together “theirs” and “mine” in order to generate an “ours”.

Why is this relevant now? If the 21st century will see the rise of soft skills as the keys to innovation and problem-solving, no skill will be more central than a capacity for empathy and creative dialogue. Since most problems are rarely found inside the boundaries of a single person, the best problem-solvers will be the ones who understand how to acquire the perspectives of others, assess a situation with all needs in mind, and then build consensus by creating common languages

across differences. The most successful will be those who can think speak, describe, and concentrate differently when confronted with a range of circumstances. A focus on empathy also means that students will be able to access an abstract vocabulary of thoughts and feelings, yet apply it to difficult situations both in their academic pursuits as well as their social and interpersonal development. The big question that remains is: How exactly do we make a more empathic classroom? We believe it is by starting a conversation around empathy as its own learning category -- encouraging students to creatively engage in role play and new ways of thinking and speaking. The Connexions Toy™ provides a balance of both play and deep discussion, with the ability to involve the entire classroom.

Empathy & Creative Dialogue in Discussion Introduction Ask the entire group: • What is empathy? • Ask for a few definitions. • Describe sympathy. • Ask, “Is empathy sympathy?” • Explain that sympathy is about pity, empathy is about understanding. • What is involved in being empathic? Further discussion: • Ask the class to close their eyes and describe the colour yellow in one word. (Have them do the exercise a second time, but this time to imagine describing the colour yellow to someone who cannot see.) • Divide the students into groups or pairs, and ask them to take turns describing what a triangle or square is. (Have them do the exercise a second time, but this time to imagine describing the shape to someone who does not understand what a line is.) • Ask students why it is important to be able to communicate these things to others. Or is it not? Is this a skill? • Discuss breaking down assumptions and creating a common language, and whether this is an important thing to do. Ask how much of that was done during the colour and shape exercises.

Empathy & Creative Dialogue Debrief After Game Play Ask the players: • What did you feel? • When you were playing, what obstacles came up? • What went well? • Where were the breakdowns? • Did communication go well? How could it have gone better? Ask the entire group: • What did you see? • What worked? What didn’t? • What allowed the players to understand each other well? • What led to the conversation not going so well?

Lessons Learned: Players who do the best at this game are also best at: • Inventory Before they start they ask, “What pieces do we have?” • Negotiation They decide on a common language, such as names for the toy pieces or what up, down, left, and right will mean. • Feedback They touch base with each other by “checking in” and confirming that they were understood by their partner. • Positive Reinforcement They remain patient and encourage each other! • Getting Creative They embrace the possibility that there is more than one way to describe an idea.

Take-Away Message: • Empathy & Creative Dialogue can be learned. • Not everyone speaks or thinks in the same way, so be understanding and have fun!

Tips • Highlight examples from your school. Has there been a scenario where there could have been more empathy among students? • Go deeper into the challenge of creative descriptions. Have students draw what a colour looks like or come up with new languages or words for ordinary objects. • Explore the different meanings words can have for people.

Resources • Ashoka Foundation’s Start Empathy Initiative empathy.ashoka.org • Roman Krznaric: Empathic Living romankrznaric.com/empathy • Jeremy Rifkin’s “The Empathic Civilization” empathiccivilization.com • Roots of Empathy rootsofempathy.org Articles • GOOD Magazine - good.is “Why We Need a Universal Language for Creativity in Classrooms” • Forbes Magazine - forbes.com “Why We Should Teach Empathy To Improve Education” © 2013 Twenty One Toys

“[Empathy is] a complex form of psychological inference in which observation, memory, knowledge, and reasoning are combined to yield insights into the thoughts and feelings of others.” - William Ickes

author, researcher, personality and social psychologist

Teamwork If there is one awe-inspiring quality of extraordinary teams, it is the seemingly supernatural ability of their members to read each other’s minds. This is easy to see in a sports team moving seamlessly down a field, musicians jamming or comedians improvising together without missing a beat, or a group working on a yearlong school project that requires both innovation and commitment. The special blend of trust, camaraderie, support, and constant building upon the contributions and successes of others is difficult to quantify and --especially-- replicate. For that reason we often attach an abstract explanation and call it “chemistry”, but the root of this type of precise collaboration is actually empathy. The empathy, in turn, reaches its potential as a goal-directed tool when it is put into action by a constantly adapting dialogue that establishes common language. High-performing teams often have a high degree of what’s known as empathic accuracy -meaning the team members can very accurately infer each other’s thoughts, feelings, and next steps. It’s a concept developed by psychologist William Ickes -- who, perhaps not so coincidentally, refers to empathy and empathic accuracy as “everyday mind reading”. © 2013 Twenty One Toys

Teamwork Connecting Teamwork to Empathy & Creative Dialogue Introduction Ask the entire group: • What’s the best team you’ve ever been on? Worst? • What aspects made them great or frustrating? • If you were to create your own team, what role in the team would you want? Why? • What part would you give to the other members of your team?

Debrief After Game Play Ask the players: • What did you feel? • When you were playing, what obstacles came up? • What went well? • Where were the breakdowns? • What might have been done differently? Ask the entire group: • What did you see? • Think about the game play as teamwork. • What makes someone a good team member? • Do you think the way we play this game might reflect the way we act in teams? Why or why not?

Lessons Learned: Players who do the best at this game are also best at: • Encouraging each other. • Re-articulating what they describe by trying new approaches. • Being patient and “checking in” to make sure the other player is understanding.

Take-Away Message: • Teamwork is about understanding yourself, your team and how to work together to get to the best result.

Tips • If the class is about to be given a project that requires students to work in teams, play the game before the project begins to let the students think about what sort of team member they want to be. • To push the bounds of teamwork, see Multiple Toys page 61.

Resources • William Ickes’ “Empathic Accuracy” published by The Guilford Press, 1997 • MIT Teaching and Learning Laboratory’s Teaching Teamwork web.mit.edu Articles • Parsons The New School for Design - sds.parsons.edu “Collaborative Learning” by Jamer Hunt

“Leaders are only as good as the questions their followers are willing to ask.” - Drew Dudley

educator, leadership expert, founder of Nuance Leadership Development Services

Leadership In just about any realm of human endeavour where leadership matters, the quality that tends to elevate leaders --and that tends to be common to all great leaders-- is that of being a master communicator. But while we spend a lot of time crafting ideas, polishing them, and then working to be heard, the cornerstone of of effective communication (and therefore leadership) lies in being understood. Leaders prioritize being understood more than most others do, and as a result they encounter the importance of creating a common language early on. This may be why they discover that an empathic instinct is critical to their roles. By internalizing the needs, goals, and perspectives of those around them, leaders emerge as those who can more quickly decipher breaks in communication. They figure out that the vision they see isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t what others are seeing, and re-adjust their language and approach to match the sensibilities of their group or audience.

ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys

Leadership Beyond making themselves understood, leaders make others feel that there is someone who hears them fully. They’re adept at making sure that every member of a group feels comfortable enough to ask for clarification, is empowered as a co-owner of a mission, and sees their own goals as aligning with the leader’s. It isn’t surprising that followers and fans look to leaders as people who “get it”... which is often another way of saying “they get me”.

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Leadership Connecting Leadership to Empathy & Creative Dialogue Introduction Ask the entire group: • Describe your favourite leader. • Describe your least favourite. • Think of what aspects of their leadership make them that way. • If you were to lead your class in a school project, how would you start? • What would you say and how would you act? • What would you expect from your team and how would you communicate that? • What is followership? How does it relate to leadership?

Debrief After Game Play Ask the players: • What did you feel? • When you were playing, what obstacles came up? • What went well? • Where were the breakdowns? • How could you have led more effectively? • How could you have been a better follower? Ask the entire group: • What did you see? • What worked? What didn’t? • Did the leader ever become the follower, and vice versa? Did that (or would it) make the game easier? • What is the importance of roles in leadership situations?

Lessons Learned: Players who do the best at this game are also best at: • Listening carefully to each other. • Showing patience and making sure that the other player is following. • Providing positive reinforcement. They encourage! • Adapting to others, employing a variety of techniques to aid communication when they realize that a player is not understanding their instructions.

Take-Away Message: • Leadership is about listening and communicating with those you wish to lead. • Great leaders show empathy with those of various backgrounds and ways of thinking.

Tips • Have students write out the profile of a great leader. • As a group, consider examples of leaders in the local community and discuss their leadership traits and abilities.

Resources • Ashoka Foundation’s Start Empathy Initiative empathy.ashoka.org • Mind Tools: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership mindtools.com Articles • Fast Company - fastcompany.com “Empathy is The Most Powerful Leadership Tool” © 2013 Twenty One Toys

“[Empathy] is what happens to us when we leave our own bodies...and find ourselves either momentarily or for a longer period of time in the mind of the other. We observe reality through her eyes, feel her emotions, share in her pain.” - Khen Lampert

educator, philosopher, social justice advocate

Bullying The contributing factors to bullying are many and complex, but we know that it flourishes most in the absence of compassion for others. Given that empathy is a necessary condition for the emergence of compassion, it can be considered a strong booster shot against bullying and an important component of cultivating a positive school culture. Since bullies or would-be bullies often deal with their own selfdoubt, self-esteem, or inner turmoil, it is easy for them to feel disconnected and alienated from othersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; emotions as they focus on their own anxieties. In essence, they sometimes simply havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t thought through what their actions do to others and how they inflict hurt. In other cases, alienation from a social group prevents individuals from feeling like they are a part of something beyond themselves, leading to loneliness and ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys

Bullying boredom. Often the easiest way to establish emotional connection with others is a negative one, and bullying behaviour emerges. In any of these cases, we can use logical, subtle, intuitive exercises to curtail the rise of bullying tendencies and trends. This can include giving individuals tools to: • see others as full beings sensitive to our actions; • learn how to accomplish (and take satisfaction in) goals that are dependent on communicating and being responsive to others; and • truly bond with others through understanding and feeling understood. Another way to enter the minds of bullies is to frame them as natural born leaders who simply lack the empathic ability that would otherwise guide their talents toward positive goals. Of course this is not the case in all situations, but we can sometimes make

headway by using lessons in empathy to open up a discussion about character and leadership as a service to others. This might inspire bullies to re-imagine themselves in the social environment. Other ways that a more empathic eye and an ability for creative dialogue can help address bullying lay in having more complete approaches to bullies adopted by victims, allies, and witnesses. A heightened capacity for empathy can alter our views of bullies. First it prompts us to want to try to understand what is driving their bullying. Then it helps us to actually interpret the way they behave toward others. Finally it empowers us with the tools to engage with them -- either by standing up to them with courage and greater clarity, or by figuring out how to more softly short-circuit their bullying with a bond of common understanding.

Needless to say, a tool that fosters greater communication and understanding also has potential to help victims explain exactly what it is that hurts them most about bullying. While parents, teachers, and friends may be eager to help address all the various effects, hardships, and hurt feelings caused by bullying, this may actually drown out the voice of the victim and take focus away from key pain points. Sometimes victims are only (or mostly) bothered by one or a few elements of a bullyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actions. Giving them the confidence and ability to express and pinpoint their needs is a critical tool in crafting effective and appropriate interventions and supports.

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Bullying Connecting Bullying to Empathy & Creative Dialogue Introduction Ask the entire group: • What is a bully? • What are examples of bullying? • What do you think makes someone a bully? • What leads them to bullying? • Imagine if you were a bully. What would stop you from bullying others?

Debrief After Game Play Ask the players: • What did you feel? • When you were playing, what obstacles came up? • What went well? • Where were the breakdowns? Ask the entire group: • What did you see? • What worked? What didn’t? • How would the game have gone if you had discouraged each other or gotten angry? • What if the whole group had gotten angry or frustrated? • Do you think we judge people because we think they’re playing the game the wrong way? Is it possible they’re just playing it differently than we would play it? • Does this happen in real life?

Lessons Learned: Players who do the best at this game are also best at: • Showing patience and learning how to communicate with a wide range of people. • Encouraging and not talking down to each other.

Take-Away Message: • Bullying can be be greatly reduced when a school culture doesn’t allow it. Stick up for your classmates and lead with empathy and compassion for others.

Tips • Have students write a journal entry about a time they have bullied someone, witnessed bullying, or been a victim of bullying. (To help them feel more comfortable with doing this sincerely, explain that this is a ‘private exercise’ and will not be shared with others.) • Have the students describe what would be needed to create a school culture where bullying is not tolerated.

Resources • Stop Bullying - Prevention stopbullying.gov/prevention • Roots of Empathy rootsofempathy.org • Facing History and Ourselves - Toronto Bully Film Workshop facing.org/paths/toronto-bully-film-workshop • Casel - Bullying casel.org/in-schools/bullying © 2013 Twenty One Toys

“Empathy is the experience of foreign consciousness in general.” - Saint Edith Stein

philosopher, nun, martyr and saint, outspoken critic of Nazi regime

Conflict Resolution We often talk about empathy and creative dialogue in the context of accomplishing a shared goal. In the case of the Connexions Toy™, this is certainly true. Solving a problem is framed as a fun and uplifting task, and empathy as well as communication are seen as tools to answer the question, “How can we do this together?” But we would be missing a clear opportunity for growth if we didn’t explore the potential of an empathy tool to help answer the question, “How can they see this so differently?”... Especially if that question is not just in a context of friendly confusion and common obstacle -- but in one of tension, distrust, anger, instability, opposing goals, or even a sense of bad faith on the part of others. On the one hand, an ability to read others as well as to accurately adjust and re-adjust our language in order to be better understood, is invaluable in resolving disputes. It’s natural © 2013 Twenty One Toys

Conflict Resolution that the better we understand how and why another person sees us as a threat or a problem, the more we will be able to account for that in our overtures and responses. We will better address their skepticism proactively in words that echo or reinforce their own perspective. This will in turn give the other person confidence that they are not wasting their time in the discussion, and therefore give them greater optimism that a negotiation can be constructive. That optimism alone can help kickstart a positive spiral toward resolution -- not to mention trigger a willingness to match the empathic level in return. The other side to a conflict scenario is one where we can better explain what we need from the other -- namely, why we see them as a source of conflict. It is important that we be able to do this in terms that are universal or at least common to both sides, rather than ones that

are deeply personal and loaded. If we can achieve that, we essentially become a more honest broker despite being involved in a dispute. Empathy allows us to temporarily remove ourselves from our own mind, or simultaneously inhabit our adversaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. We can therefore better explain our alternate view of a situation in a way that accounts for and respects the directly opposing view. Exercises in empathy give us practice at asking useful and guiding questions. These allow us to paint a more 3-dimensional and precise picture of our adversary, as well as to give direction and be clearer about our own thoughts and feelings toward them. In short, these give us a good reason to even begin a discussion, as well as to have a productive outcome once the discussion has begun.

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Connecting Conflict Resolution to Empathy & Creative Dialogue Introduction Ask the entire group: • Think of your most recent fight (not from the classroom). What were the misunderstandings? • What was the most difficult feeling to communicate? • Did you see the situation from the other’s point of view? Would that help a situation? Why or why not? • What styles of conflict resolution work best for you? • What are the worst techniques? • How would you try to resolve a disagreement between your two closest friends?

Debrief After Game Play Ask the players: • What did you feel? • When you were playing, what obstacles came up? • What went well? • Where were the breakdowns? Ask the entire group: • What did you see? • What worked? What didn’t? • How were disagreements dealt with? • What were the communication styles? • What if the players had gone into the game after a fight? How would they have communicated differently?

Conflict Resolution Lessons Learned: Players who do the best at this game are also best at: • Showing patience. • Giving other players time to explain themselves and their struggle. • Encouraging and not talking down to each other. • Trying different techniques if players don’t understand them, and being flexible with new ways of communicating.

Take-Away Message: • Conflict often happens due to miscommunication and misunderstandings. When you feel you aren’t being heard it is much harder for you to hear the “other”. Resolve to be more patient and understanding. Most conflicts happen because of assumptions and uncommunicated visions, or negative judgments of others

Tips • One method for understanding a conflict is through “conflict mapping”. Conflict mapping can help analyze the situation by considering the following: conflict history, context, the parties involved, their issues and dynamics. • Choose a conflict from history and map out the conflict taking into consideration its elements. Touch on points at which a different direction could have been taken if more communication and empathy had been used.

Resources • Ashoka Foundation’s Start Empathy Initiative empathy.ashoka.org • Conflict Resolution Network crnhq.org • Roots of Empathy rootsofempathy.org Articles • International Institute for Restorative Practices canada.iirp.edu “TVO Conflict Resolution and Restorative Practices” • University for Peace - Peace & Conflict Monitor monitor.upeace.org “The Power of Empathy in Conflict Resolution”

“Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul.” - Friedrich Froebel

educator, inventor of kindergarten

A Note On Special Needs This toy started as a puzzle game for children with visual impairments to play with their sighted classmates. Rather than aim to elicit one-directional empathy for the visually impaired by the sighted, it was designed to bridge the communication gap and lead to better understanding of what individuals from both groups go through when navigating instructions, descriptions, and difficult conversations. For this guidebook we are focusing on how to use the toy in your classroom where there is one or a small number of students with special needs, and how to lead a discussion and activity that includes them. However, we leave it to you to explore special education possibilities for the toy. We have certainly already seen how it can have far-reaching effects in classrooms and groups exclusively ÂŠ 2013 Twenty One Toys

A Note on Special Needs composed of children with disabilities -- particularly visual impairments. There is ample room for rich discussion and debrief. Instructors may want to begin exploring this in classrooms where some students have a disability and others do not. In these situations it may be more difficult to appropriately match the skill level and communication abilities of children with disabilities to those without. In all cases, we stress the importance of handling each situation with deep care, sensitivity, and attention to nuance. This may also be a good starting point for a classroom with only one or two students with special needs, helping the rest of the class gain an appreciation for the difficulties their more challenged classmates confront on a daily basis.

Finally, we see an opportunity for children to think about disabilities even in classrooms where there are no special needs peers at all. Since the game begins from the premise of taking away one specific ability (sight), it is not hard to explore disabilities in general. For instance: one could begin by asking students how they felt with no sight, then prompting them to think about how they would live and play if they were always visually impaired, and then expanding to what they think it must be like to have other disabilities such as being physically handicapped, hearing impaired or learning disabled. We see a lot of potential for empathic insights and new approaches to communication.

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Connecting Special Needs to Empathy & Creative Dialogue Introduction Ask the entire group: • Think of a situation where you stood out. • What did it feel like to be “different”? • What was good? What was bad? • What would it be like if you were always different? • What would you need from others? • What if being different meant you had to rely on others to do the things you wanted to do? • What do you think it’s like to be in a wheelchair, to have a learning disability or a visual impairment?

Debrief After Game Play Ask the players: • What did you feel? • When you were playing what obstacles came up? • What was it like to have no sight? • What went well? • Where were the breakdowns? Ask the entire group: • What did you see? • What worked? What didn’t? • How did the blindfolds affect the game? • How would you have played if only one of the players could see and the other couldn’t? How would communication change? • Can people with other challenges play this game? How? • How can we include everyone in what we do? © 2013 Twenty One Toys

A Note on Special Needs Lessons Learned: Players who do the best at this game are also best at: • Doing an inventory with the other player before they start, to make sure they are both on the same page. • Being patient and touching base with the other player by “checking in” and confirming that they were understood by their partner. • Encouraging and not getting angry when the other player is not understanding. • Getting creative! Not everyone thinks or lives the same way.

Take-Away Message: • Special needs can mean a number of things. It’s important to understand that everyone is different in various ways. Some require more patience, understanding and help than others. • Be empathic when you meet someone with special needs. Don’t approach them with pity, but with understanding, an open mind, and a willingness to put yourself in their place.

Tips • Have the students watch videos or bring in a guest speaker with a special need. • Allow the students to ask questions and try to break some stereotypes if possible. • Try to get students to explore the question: Are there more things that are the same or different between you and your (blind/hearing impaired) friend?

Resources • Ashoka Foundation’s Start Empathy Initiative empathy.ashoka.org • Ontario Ministry of Education’s Transition Planning edu.gov.on.ca • Canadian National Institute for the Blind cnib.ca

“Games teach that failure isn’t bad and that collaboration isn’t cheating.” - Henry Jenkins

renowned media scholar, cultural theorist, human internet meme

Big Group With Multiple Toys If you have more than one toy set, you’re in luck! There are a number of ways that you can use the Connexions Toy™ with multiple sets at once. (If you haven’t played before, use the Game Instructions Card for basic game play.) Before you start, please note: each set of light and dark pieces that you give the students are meant to be identical. As you will learn, it’s very easy to get the pieces mixed up and not pay attention to textures and the raised dots. Have the students confirm that they have identical light and dark pieces before starting.

Big Group With Multiple Toys Next, choose the Category Card you would like to accompany this game play. Recommended: • Empathy & Creative Dialogue • Leadership • Teamwork Below are some of the ways you can play with multiple sets. This does not mean that these are the only ways, so feel free to have some fun and make your own variations.

Big groups in intimate settings This works best at giving more shy or hesitant students the platform to join in discussion without being intimidated. 1. Have the students join in the introductory discussion questions, then divide them into smaller groupings of students. Minimum of 3, ideal is 5-8 per group. 2. Have two players from each group play, while the rest observe. (For instructions see Game Instructions Card.) 3. Bring the students back for a broader group discussion. (Each group discussion should take approx. 15-25 minutes) If there is time, let them have separate discussions in their small groups first and present their discussion findings to the entire group afterward.

One player guiding many Recommended: • Leadership • Teamwork 1. Start the introductory discussion. Feel free to keep it short and leave the discussion for after game play. 2. Choose one student to be Player 1 (the one who will give instructions and act as “Leader” or “Guide”) and choose up to 4 other students to follow Player 1. 3. Give each student a set of puzzle pieces. (For fresh ideas see Puzzle Pieces Card) 4. Explain the game play and blindfold all players. 5. Assemble Player 1’s set of puzzle pieces and have that student describe the arrangement to the other 4 students for them to re-create. This is a good exercise for practising leadership techniques and active listening, as well as people management. Some players will have an easy time while others struggle. Note the group dynamics -- what worked, what didn’t, and how they might improve next time so that all players can succeed.

Big Group With Multiple Toys Variations to the leader-and-followers model A. Leader is not blindfolded and can see their group of “followers” (who are still blindfolded) as they work through the directions, BUT is not allowed to give individual instructions. If the leader has specific instructions for only one of their followers, they must still give them to the entire group and cannot call a player by name. B. Leader is not blindfolded. Followers may be blindfolded or not, BUT leader has no set of their own. They must instead describe conceptually the pattern to be made by all followers. Leader can’t touch any pieces to think through their instructions -- or, if followers aren’t blindfolded, to “show and tell” their vision. Leader must describe with words only. C. Roles are reversed. Leader is blindfolded, taking directions from the other players (who may be blindfolded or not). Leader controls the information flow and may specify who they want offering guidance at different points. Naturally, this last variant can be reversed completely -- where the leader is no longer the leader at all, but a follower with many leaders. The major difference then is that he or she isn’t able to control the flow of information from the other players. (Warning: relative anarchy may ensue! … But the new, multiple leaders will have to learn to find an equilibrium with their various directions.)

Big groups in loud, fun settings Recommended: • Leadership • Teamwork 1. For every set of toys (5 light and 5 dark) choose a player who will give instructions (Player 1) and one who will re-create their pattern (Player 2). 2. Have all the groups play at the same time and compete to accurately finish the game in the fastest time. This is a good exercise for communicating while there are distractions and obstacles.

Tips • Before choosing an activity be aware of classroom management and the setting. If there are a number of students and the acoustics in a room are bad, the students may not be able to hear the game play and therefore will miss out on observational learning. • Be aware of a good teacher to student ratio. Ideally there should be a teacher or facilitator per every group sized 8 or over. If not, make it very clear that the audience must be silent during the game play. • If you do have a good teacher to student ratio, take advantage of the individual teams possibilities to have deeper conversations and then bring them back to the larger group for discussion.

“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny...’ ” - Isaac Asimov

legendary science fiction author, biochemist, philosopher, futurist

Adventure The adventure card is meant to be used once you have played Connexions a few times with your class and you are looking to add twists to make it more novel, challenging and engaging. These twists show the many levels of game play that are possible with the toy. Before trying any of these activities, read through the descriptions and make sure you have all the required elements.

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Adventure Role Playing When: After an introductory discussion from one of the Category Cards, have the students play in roles. For example, if the discussion topic is Leadership have a student give directions in a way that emulates bad leadership techniques, and then good ones. Or take examples from history, relevant news stories in the paper, or the community. Discuss the miscommunications or misunderstandings that may have occurred and represent them as personality types in the game play. How: This technique works best after the game has been played one or two times prior. The students will have a good sense of how the game is played and will be able to get deeper into discussion when they are given personalities or traits to take on. Tip: Be cautious that the game play does not get too negative or aggressive. Communicate boundaries before game play and explain that this is to show how misunderstandings can occur.

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T-Shirt Trick When: The T-Shirt trick is best for larger groups and when the game is presented in an auditorium or stage setting. We have done this similar exercise at BitNorth, International StartupFest and Shad Valley Carleton. How: You will need a large or x-large T-Shirt with STRETCH, 2 stools, and a table. Get two volunteers to come on stage. Explain how the game works, then ask them to turn so their backs are facing each other and touching. Have them raise their arms and place one T-Shirt over both their heads. with their arms through the sleeves. Have them sit down on stools and make sure there are flat table surfaces on each side for them to place the puzzle pieces on. Once they have completed the game, reveal that the challenge was not to re-create the puzzle pieces but to get out of the T-Shirt. Then leave them alone to get themselves out (a great way to test their communication skills after the game). Tip: Make sure the T-Shirt is stretchy enough so as not to hurt the students when put on. Be aware that some students may be uncomfortable with this exercise so be cautious when choosing which students to put on stage. That being said this is by far one of the most fun and engaging ways to play with the entire groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excitement!

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Adventure No Level Ground When: When students are playing in a setting with an uneven surface such as outside or on their lap. How: The twist here is that none of the puzzle pieces are flat on the ground. They are instead held or placed on angles. This makes the puzzle MUCH more complicated as the students have no reference point for direction and must overcome that obstacle first.

Student & Teacher When: Whenever! Some of the most rewarding and most intense “A-ha!” moments have occurred when students have played with teachers or camp counsellors, as they really are coming from very different start points. If you’re game, this could be a very rewarding and reflective experience. How: Have one of the students in the class facilitate and make yourself Player 1 or 2. This can be a great way to show how, as the teacher, you are coming from a very different place than the students -- and to think about how they and yourself can empathize better with the other so that you understand where the other is coming from.

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Final Thoughts Actually, this is just the beginning. For us, at least. We hope itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just the beginning for you, too. We trust that this adventure of building 21st century minds and societies will run across your classrooms and labs and summer camps, gyms and playgrounds and assembly halls, homes and communities and beyond. We think this will be quite something. We hope you keep playing. Keep Playing. - Twenty One Toys

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Acknowledgments For a short book, a long list of credits... Nogah Kornberg was (and is) an intellectual North Star keeping us on a clear path to the impact we want to have on education. Her perspective was irreplaceable at almost every step of developing this book and its accompanying resources. Wherever we think our work could be stronger or more thoughtful, chances are these are the points where we didn’t talk to Nogah quite enough. Shelley Vaisberg was a constant presence in round after round of revisions, and our secret insight machine for thoughts around special needs. Caroline Ben-Ari deserves a medal for her astounding attention to detail in copy editing and for her style advice. This book would not be half as coherent without the input and inspiration of countless minds in education. To those who willingly gave of their time directly, we owe a particular salute... Trudy Hallen put this through the filter of a lifetime of classroom experience and came back to us with a monumental amount of wise feedback, almost all of which we have incorporated. Laya Kneller edited away, found the weak spots, made us feel great about them, and believed in this with a beautiful energy. Alyssa and Danielle Guidotto must be thanked and thanked again for a much needed reality check that helped us fine-tune our entire approach. Their contributions to the framework are imprinted on some of the most critical parts of this book. Finally, Elliot Kerr brought a much appreciated sensitivity to complex issues of diversity and understanding the “other”. In true 21st-century form, he made his strongest point with a Youtube clip -- and made it well.

Drew Dudley was the perfect catalyst at exactly the moment when we needed to think bigger and bolder about our game concepts, facilitation approaches, and the fire we want to start. Then there’s Emma Peat... Oh, Emma Peat. We could write sonnets and lyric odes to the endless contributions and superhuman hours she put in to help make this project a reality. Her dedication to the Twenty One Toys mission was matched only by what an absurdly pleasant force she was to be around. If somewhere there is a magical tea that triggers smiles as automatically as smelling salts jolt one awake, that tea must be called Emma Peat. To wrap up, it’s worth embarking on a special tangent to give a very special thanks to Paul Chamandy-Cook. He played a role more important than he’ll probably ever know, helping prototype the limited edition run of our first wooden toy sets. His skill inspired unwavering faith (even when he wasn’t so sure of it himself), and that allowed us to focus more of our minds on things like this book. We were this close to making a plaque that read, “In Paul We Trust”. As much as we are indebted to all of the above, any damning faults or embarrassing errors --from a misplaced comma to calling for the return of the Mongol Empire-- are ours alone. In play, Ilana Ben-Ari & Gonzalo Riva

Learning Goals A sample of a Learning Goals sheet for a Bullying workshop. PHOTOCOPY the page to the right for additional sheets.

LEARNING GOALS

Connexions toy for Empathy & Creative Dialogue

bullying history

Sept 21, ‘12 8

Session / Category:

Date:

Subject:

Grade / Level:

My ideal outcomes: After this round of play, what will students...?

Better communicate and stand up for the children in the What skill will they gain? How will they transfer learning into action or new behaviour? class who are being bullied.

... be able to do independently that they couldn’t before?

KNOW

Even if I’m not the bully, it’s still up to everyone in the What knowledge will be the school to takeaway stand lesson up. today? ... understand to be true - conceptually, empirically, or emotionally - that they were less aware of before?

STRUGGLE

Am I ever a bully? If I say it behind their back is it still bullying? What if I don’t want to get involved?

... still be wrapping their heads around?

What big essential questions will remain unresolved, but on their minds? How will the play leave them with tools to search for answers? What behaviour change or insight will they have to continue to work on?

www.twentyonetoys.com

LEARNING GOALS

Connexions toy for Empathy & Creative Dialogue Session / Category:

Date:

Subject:

Grade / Level:

My ideal outcomes: After this round of play, what will students...?

DO ... be able to do independently that they couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t before? What skill will they gain? How will they transfer learning into action or new behaviour?

KNOW ... understand to be true - conceptually, empirically, or emotionally - that they were less aware of before? What knowledge will be the takeaway lesson today?

STRUGGLE ... still be wrapping their heads around? What big essential questions will remain unresolved, but on their minds? How will the play leave them with tools to search for answers? What behaviour change or insight will they have to continue to work on?

www.twentyonetoys.com

ÂŠ 2012 Twenty One Toys

Twenty One Toys is a toy creation company. We re-imagine toys as tools for social change, organizational change, educational change and more. We are creating a new category of toys that teach the key 21st century skills: Empathy, Creativity, Collaborative Learning, Innovation, and Problem Solving. Inside this guidebook you will find workshop ideas and suggested discussions to accompany our Connexions Toyâ&#x201E;˘, originally designed for visually impaired students and now used by children and adults of all ages to develop skills of empathy & creative dialogue, in classrooms and boardrooms around the world.

www.twentyonetoys.com

ÂŠ 2012 Twenty One Toys