HUMANS OF ŌTAUTAHI

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Astley and bubbles

Ali Jones Writer, broadcaster, and housebus adventurer @housebusdylan @dylanthehousebus

Many of you will be getting ready for Cup and Show week in an appropriately Cup and Show week-way, perhaps by getting a spray tan or putting on something that shows your midriff. Knock yourselves out. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of dancing on the tables, but these days if I have a wine too many, I’m more likely to tidy up the laundry or do some gardening while listening to Fur Patrol or Rick Astley. Of course, being in the house bus with no garden and a pantry the size of a shoebox, that isn’t really an option, except for the Fur Patrol and Rick Astley. One Cup Day several years ago, a group of us planned to meet at the track for a “day on the lawn”, but I couldn’t get a taxi. So, I sat in the garden with a bottle of Lindauer, and after two glasses and no lunch, I texted that I couldn’t make it. I then proceeded to weed the vege garden. Rob got home from work to a fabulous-looking garden and strains of Never Gonna Give You Up belting out around the neighbourhood. It is a special time for me in one way, though. Our first baby was due on Show Day 1998, but she arrived slightly early on 6 November, encouraged to join us by the fireworks she would’ve heard the evening before. Not wanting to appear a complete curmudgeon, Cup and Show week does herald in fresh energy, a sense that summer is almost here, and there’s no doubt it’s great for the local economy. Finally, a word of advice for those who like a flutter or two – bet on the horse that has a poo just before the race; it’ll be lighter and run faster.

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Patricia

HOON HAY

“Since I was about six, they put me in dresses. I just didn’t want to get out of them, that’s all. Yes, my cousins dressed me up, and I enjoyed it. “It’s interesting when you look back on life because, as I say, I’m 80 now. I’ve been in and out over the years. Sydney, I lived as a woman there for so many months. I’ve done it all my life. But when I was 79, I said, ‘oh well, that’s enough of this’. So that’s where I’m at. “The only thing I kind of regret, and I do regret it, because I like being honest. It’s too hard telling lies. But when I married my wife 54 years ago, I didn’t tell her I had a problem. It took a couple of years to get it out of me. She said, ‘what the hell’s the matter with you?’ I said, ‘I just want to put on a dress. But of course, if I had told you that before, would you have married me?’ But we have never been so much in love, and life is rolling on. She loves me as I am, and that’s terrific. “I had my first perm yesterday, and for my 80th birthday, my wife bought me a wedding band, so that was nice. It took me two months [and I had] to be patient, but now I’ve got my driver’s license in the name of Patricia Hales. I’ve got my IDs. Right, I’m all organised. “I’ve got a few projects. Of course, paint’s a new one at $4 a litre. People come along, bring their paint in; out it goes, and everybody wins. You see what I mean? I love it. “And, of course, my library’s whistling along. Yes. Four or five years now. So that’s good. It’s a service. We got them all free. That gives me a lift. Everybody wins. Everybody has to win. Beautiful. And I meet all sorts, which is lovely.”

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