Life Actually By Kari Kampakis

of the writing of the Declaration of Independence, which was written between June 11 and June 28, 1776. The Declaration wasn’t signed on July 4, either. It was signed on Aug. 2. Similarly, the Fourth has nothing to do with the Constitution, which was penned Sept. 17, 1787. And no, July Fourth is not George Washington’s birthday. It is, however, the birthday of President Calvin Coolidge. Also, Geraldo Rivera.

The reason we celebrate this date is straightforward and simple. On July 4, 1776, the 56 members of the Second Continental Congress officially adopted a document that confessed high treason against Great Britain.

It was a document the 13 colonies had been pleading for. A document that would change global history.

It was a humble manuscript, engrossed on animal skin, which took Thomas Jefferson 17 arduous days to draft. A declaration.

A document whose second paragraph reads, “We hold these truths to be selfevident, that all men are created equal …”

But the reason I personally celebrate this holiday is deeper than a sheet of parchment. I don’t celebrate because we are the most powerful nation, or the most economically prosperous, or the country with the highest funded military.

I celebrate the Fourth of July for one simple reason: Because I love you. Plain and simple.

You see, being an American means that we live in a place where you and I are equals. Not metaphorically, not philosophically, but literally. It says so on our founding document.

You matter as much as I do. This is true not only because it was written in the most beautiful English prose, but by a deft hand. It’s true because it’s true.

So, I celebrate because, no matter who you are, no matter what you believe, no matter where you come from, no matter which language you speak, or who you marry, or what kind of wild stuff you post on social media, you’re my brother. You’re my sister. And I love you dearly.

And even though we don’t always get along, even though we aggravate each other, you and I are on the same side. Our ancestors died proving it. And Thomas Jefferson put it in writing.

So happy 247th birthday, America. And may God bless Diana Ross.

Sean Dietrich is a columnist and novelist known for his commentary on life in the American South. He has authored nine books and is the creator of the “Sean of the South” blog and podcast.

Moms of boys: Teach your sons to be a good 1st boyfriend

Girls often settle for guys who don’t treat them well because they don’t know better. Sometimes it’s a daddy issue. Sometimes they have bad judgment and repeat the same mistake. Sometimes they’re just naive or quick to fall for a charming act.

Whatever the case, our world needs more boys who set a high bar. We need boys who help girls understand what they should expect — and what is possible in the world of dating.

I appreciate parents who teach their sons how to respect, protect and date a girl. I love hearing from moms like my Instagram reader who says she intentionally teaches her son how to be a good first boyfriend and set a high bar for every future boy his girlfriend will date.

I believe in traditional values, and if you do too, here are ideas to share with your son (many of which apply to girls too):

► Plan fun dates, listening for clues of what your girlfriend likes or might enjoy.

► Show up for dates on time.

► Be kind and respectful, treating her like you’d want someone to treat your sister.

► Pick her up at the front door, and always shake her father’s hand.

► Open doors for her (cars, restaurants, etc.)

► Pay for her meals.

► Be a thoughtful gift-giver, especially on her birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day.

► Give genuine compliments and tell her she looks pretty (especially on big days when she spent hours getting ready).

► Look out for her safety, get her home safely and walk her to the door. Bring her home in better condition than when you picked her up (in other words, enrich her life).

► Include her in the conversation when you’re with your friends. Don’t ignore her or make jokes at her expense.

► See her as your sister in Christ, as a human with a heart and a purpose, not an object to ogled over or used.

► Protect her reputation, and don’t share private details with your buddies. Gossip that won’t stick to you will stick to her forever.

► Ask for dates in person (use the phone or FaceTime in a pinch, but not text or Snapchat).

► Cheer her on, point out her gifts and encourage her to chase her dreams.

► Make her laugh, as this breaks the ice and grows your friendship.

► Respect her boundaries, especially physical boundaries. Remember that “no” means “no” and you should not take away something from her that’s only meant for her husband.

► Keep in mind that love says, “I can wait,” while lust says, “I have to have it now.”

► At a party or an event, continue to check on her and ask if she needs anything.

► Every now and then, surprise her, like showing up with her favorite candy.

► Ask good questions to get to know her, and don’t just talk about yourself.

► Be a gentleman, knowing that the habits you build while dating will carry over into your marriage. The goal is to be a godly man and a loving leader, protector, and provider.

► Follow through if you say you’ll call her, and don’t play with her emotions, lead her on, or hold her hand if you don’t mean it. Also, don’t say something just because you think she wants to hear it, for that will eventually hurt her and earn you a reputation as a liar.

► Keep in mind that girls talk and warn others about boys. How you treat your girlfriend (and handle a breakup) can impact you later when you’re crazy about another girl and ask her out. Guys who act like jerks often get rejected or written off by girls who have standards for who they date.

► Remember the best gift you can give your girlfriend is your love for the Lord. Put Him first and seek His will, and you’ll attract the right girls. You’ll be on a path God can bless and help your girlfriend find that path too.

Dating, done correctly, leaves an open door for future friendship. Even if the breakup is painful, it is possible — with time — to be on good terms again if both parties can look back and feel like that person was good for them.

As you coach your son on dating, remind him that he’s setting the bar for every future guy his girlfriend will date. He’s creating a standard that will help her choose well. At the same time, he’s helping himself. He’s learning to stand out in a good way, which will ultimately attract the cream of the crop and bring girls of high caliber into his life.

Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Mountain Brook mom of four girls, author, speaker and blogger. Kari’s newest book, “More Than a Mom: How Prioritizing Your Wellness Helps You (and Your Family) Thrive,” is now available on Amazon, Audible and everywhere books are sold. Kari’s bestselling other books — “Love Her Well,” “Liked” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” have been used widely across the country for small group studies. Join Kari on Facebook and Instagram, visit her blog at karikampakis. com, or find her on the Girl Mom Podcast.

O’Neal Library

The Oak Street location is closed for clean up and repairs from the flooding. The library’s temporary location is 3100 Overton Road. For more information, call 205-238-5034 or go to oneallibrary.org.

EARLY LEARNERS (BIRTH-4K)

Wednesdays: Toddler Tales Storytime. 9:30 and 10:30 a.m. Registration required.

Wednesdays: Movers & Makers. 1:30 p.m. Kindergarten Prep Storytime. Registration required.

Thursdays: All Together Storytime. 9:30 and 10:30 a.m.

Tuesdays: Patty Cake. 9:30 and 10:30 a.m. Infants to 18 months. Registration required. Not meeting July 4.

July 14: Sensory Play, Explore & More. 9:30 and 10:30 a.m. Free play at 11:15 a.m. Registration required.

July 25: Summer Reading Finale Party with Roger Day. 6:30 p.m.

Elementary

Mondays: Project Packs: All Together Now. Pick up a weekly pack of activities. To go packs are available on the back ramp while supplies last. All ages.

Tuesdays: LOL Extra. 3:30 p.m. Laugh out loud activities for children in Kindergarten through second grade. Not meeting July 4.

Thursdays: SNaP. 3:30 p.m. Crafts, games, trivia and more. Visit the website for weekly themes. Grades 3-6.

July 10: Breakout Book Club – Esme’s Birthday Conga Line. 5 p.m. Registration required. Kindergarten through second grade.

July 13: The Secret Ingredient – Popsicle Cupcakes. 5 p.m. Register to pick up the ingredients then meet on Zoom to create a treat. All ages.

July 17: All Together Now Reading Camp. 2:30 p.m. Registration required. Kindergarten through second grade.

July 17: Illustrator Art Club – Art Inspired by You. 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 p.m. Registration required. All ages.

July 17: Makers Camp. 3 p.m. Grades 3-6.

July 18: Xtreme Hot Off the Press Book Club. 6 p.m. Registration required. Grades 3-6.

July 25: Summer Reading Finale Party with Roger Day. 6:30 p.m. All ages.

TEENS (GRADES 7-12)

June 5: Game On! Teen Gaming. 3-5 p.m.

July 7: Improv 101 with Red Mountain Theatre Company. 1 p.m.

Adults

July 9: Summers are Strange — An Under the Mountain Event. 7 p.m. Registration required.

July 10: Great Short Stories. 6:30 p.m. Registration required.

July 11: Bookies Book Group. 10 a.m. Registration required.

July 12: Sustainable Style – Wild Stitching with Julie Maeseele. 10 a.m. An introductory embroidery workshop with fashion designer Julie Maeseele. Meet at the entrance of the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. Bring a garment from your wardrobe that you would like to embroider; all other supplies provided.

July 18: Books & Beyond. 6:30 p.m.