9 minute read
How Much Love Do You Have?
by Brandon Alleman
What is the definition of health? Webster’s defines health as, “the condition of being sound in body, mind or spirit; especially: freedom from physical disease or pain.”
Technically, health, wellness, fitness, etc. are all relative terms and depend solely on an individual’s perception. What is healthy to me may not be healthy to you.
Further, health and fitness are not the same by any means. If you are healthy with no health issues or pain of any kind but cannot get up off of the sofa without grabbing your own head to lift it off the pillow – you are not fit. By the same token, if you can dead lift 600 pounds, run a sub-5-minute mile, and perform 50 consecutive wide grip chin ups, but you have cancer – you are fit, but not healthy.
My personal definition of health is as follows: an individual can be deemed healthy if s/he is capable of living his/her life according to his/her own truths and principles; as well, one must view his/her life as one with meaning and purpose while optimally integrating the elements of mind, body, and spirit. That is my definition and it may be a far cry from your definition of health.
WHAT DO PEOPLE WANT?
Most people in the general population are solely after improving the way they look. Simply put, people want to look better naked. It does not matter what else is going on in life, they simply want to feel great about what they see when they look into a mirror. The issue at hand here is whether or not people know what it really takes to create the body they desire.
WHAT IT REALLY TAKES
When I ask audiences that I speak to what they believe the number one contributing factor to successful body transformation is – I typically get one of two responses: (1) Discipline or (2) Consistency. These are great answers, but they only scratch the surface of what it really takes to make a real body transformation permanent and successful.
Most feel that in order to create that new body, they have to have a great training routine that they religiously stick to week in and week out. Though this is true, training is only one piece of the puzzle. Along with the training routine, someone requires proper hydration, the correct, customized nutrition and supplementation, adequate rest and recovery, proper stress reduction techniques, and perhaps above all of that – living a lifestyle that is actually conducive to building muscle and losing fat.
Creating a new body is not something you can focus on for a few training sessions in a week, or for a few meals per day. Creating a new body is literally a 24/7 commitment. Why? Because everything you think, say, and do, impacts how your body is going to look. There is literally no aspect of your life that does not have an effect on what you see in the mirror. Therefore, yes – mindset and discipline are important, but we are still on the surface of what it really takes to make real, lasting body transformations.
DISCIPLINE IS OUTDATED
Looking below the surface, you will find that there actually is no such thing as discipline. Rather, there is only Love. It all boils down to what you truly love. Either you are in love with your Self and the new body that you desire, or you love cupcakes, donuts, lattes, late-night TV, etc. more. That’s it. It is really not that complicated. What you love is what you are going to be truly willing to work for.
In my experience, most people love lots of things that are outside of themselves. They struggle with making decisions for themselves because of that. As an example, how many mothers do you know who have completely lost themselves in their role as mother? Every decision they make is based on the wants and perceived needs of others and this has them sacrificing themselves as a result. They want to invest the time and the energy to train and eat properly to create a new body but they “don’t have time because of my kids.”
This kind of behavior can lead to an individual who harbors a tremendous amount of resentment towards Self and others. To this I offer the simple truth that you can only be as good to others as you are to yourself. It is a fundamental Law of the Universe that you cannot give what you do not have. How effective of a parent (or person) can one really be if s/he is tired, irritable, angry, resentful, depressed, never invest in themselves, and is generally unhappy all the time?
THE REAL QUESTION
What is it that you really love? Ultimately, self-esteem equals changeability. The more self-esteem, or Self Love someone has, the easier they are capable of making changes, particularly when those changes have them doing things that go against “herd” mentality. The less Self Love someone has, the less apt they are to make positive and loving changes for themselves – so they stay in relationships that they hate and keep jobs that make them miserable for years and even decades. That, by any definition, is not healthy.
Being honest with who you are and with what YOU really want is what it will take to transform your body. If your desire to create a new body is backed by Love, nothing can stop you from creating it. Love is the most powerful and transformative energy in the Universe and it dissolves any fears or roadblocks to success. It is a lack of Self Love that has so many people running from diet to diet, seeking the next miracle supplement or fitness gadget that does not work.
Always ask the question – “What would love do?” If you are trying to create a new body and you go to the gym and are debating whether to do chin ups or lat pulls downs, what would a loving and compassionate expert tell you to do? Chin ups, of course. Front squats or leg extensions? Front squats - without question. Water or wine/beer? For Love, the answers are obvious.
SUCCESS THROUGH SELFISHNESS
Caroleen Jones has coined something called the 15% Rule. She states that 15% of the time that you spend awake in any given day should belong to yourself. Therefore, on average, a little over 2 hours in each day needs to be devoted to your Self and doing things that you love and that will bring you joy. These are to be activities that are to be solely for your benefit and no one else’s.
Personally, I feel that devoting 85% of your time to others and only 15% of your time to things that make you happy does not even qualify as being selfish, but so few of us adhere to the 15% Rule that when we come across someone who actually does – s/he is labeled as selfish. It is only out of a Love for Self that Love for anything else can really manifest. Sadly, many people feel that making themselves a priority is somehow “wrong.” Nothing could be further from the truth.
SO HOW DO YOU CHANGE YOUR BODY?
If you are looking for a new aesthetic appeal, you will need to feed the cells of your body thoughts of Love and gratitude, in addition to clean, organic food and clean water, along with a properly designed exercise program, the right amount of sleep, and so on. Getting in touch with your Self will also help you find your weight loss solution. You can begin the process of loving your Self in the following ways:
Figuring out what makes you happy.
Many of us struggle with this. An easy way to do this is to sit quietly in a room alone and meditate on this question, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” Or, “If money were no object, what would I do?” Do more of the things that would have you reach that goal and you are on what Taoists call “the way.”
Accept the truth that your decisions and actions have created the body (and Life) that you have today.
This is difficult for many because there is nothing more exquisitely pleasant than to place blame on something outside of yourself for the way you look (genetics, thyroid problems, etc.) It all happened for a reason - to teach you a very important lesson and to bring you back into your Self and to help you progress to your next level of development at the appropriate speed. You would be well served not to make decisions based on your past. What is important is what you do with the energy of now.
Next, you must forgive yourself now that you have accepted what has happened.
Until you can forgive yourself for your own actions and reactions, there is still a “thing” in your way of achieving that ideal body that you want. This “thing” has energy; it still attracts consciousness and will continue to create a reality until it is resolved. You must decide that your past has no power over you. Today is new, a day for new decisions, new thoughts, and new habits.
Be grateful.
Be grateful for the wonderful positive people, circumstances, and objects in your life today. Every night write a list of 10 things for which you are most grateful. You can call this a Grateful Log. Read this first thing when you wake up as a reminder of all that you are grateful for. It is also helpful to find something that you do like about a body part that you desire to change and focus on the love that is there.
Love how you look.
Realize first that the body you currently have is the only vehicle you get to navigate this physical journey we call life. Since it is the only one you get, you would be well served to love it now – in its entirety – exactly as it is. Your physical body does not even belong to the “you” that you know. Try this little exercise: Hold your hand up in front of your face. Now ask yourself, whose hand is this? Meditate on your answer for a while and see where it takes you.
BE SELFISH ENOUGH TO LOVE YOUR SELF!
Realize that loving your Self is the most unselfish thing you can do! As you learn to love your Self, you will also serve as a shining example for others to be able to travel that same journey to Self love and release their shame about their own bodies and come to peace within themselves.
By having more love for your Self, I have no doubts that you can create whatever kind of Life (and body) you desire.
Enjoy the journey!
Brandon J. Alleman is a skilled Osteopathic Manual Practitioner, Holistic Health Practitioner, and Level 3 CHEK Practitioner with extensive concentration in human biomechanics and physiology. He owns Innate Movement and Wellness in Lafayette's Oil Center
