April 20, 2016 34st.com
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Students' Choice & Street's Picks
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Best Fro–Yo/Ice Cream Best Instagram Spot Best Brunch Best Rowdy BYO Best Pizza Best Happy Hour
BEST OF PENN
BEST OF PENN
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10 11 13 14 15 16
Best Food Truck
Best On–Campus Housing Best Off–Campus Housing Best Coffeehouse Best Place to Get Pampered Best Use of Bursar Best Bar Best Breakfast Sandwich Best Place to Have Your Parents Buy You Dinner
BESTS 17
Best Place to Take a Moment for Yourself Best Date Night Venue
18
Best Excuse Not to Go Out Best Place for a Clandestine Drug Deal Best Thing to Face Swap With
19
Best Place to Publically Urinate Best Place to Pretend to Accidentally Run into Someone
Ah, the democratic system at its finest. You all voted, and here's what you came up with as the Best of Penn. And that was nice, but Street doesn't operate as a democracy: we're a tyranny. A really well dressed tryanny, but a tyranny nonethless. See below for what you all think is the Best of Penn, followed by what we think is the Best of Penn (because we're sore losers).
BEST FOOD TRUCK: YOU CHOSE: MAGIC
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BEST OF PENN: STUDENT AND STREET PICKS
CARPET
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
The twenty–minute wait when class lets out is the only con of swinging by this healthy, mediterranean and wallet–friendly food truck. Find this family owned and operated truck on the corner of 34th and Walnut Streets and on Spruce between 35th and 36th Streets. The truck, which has been around since 1984, operates from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. on weekdays. Falafel and mouthwatering cookies make this a favorite for vegetarians and omnivores alike. Choose from salads, wraps, rice or a little of everything with their combo platters. If you’re craving a meaty meal, try the tofu meatballs or tofu chili. For a lighter bite, have your dish served over a salad instead of the rice and veggies. On Wednesdays and Fridays, come for the veggie burger special. Best of all, the dishes come with a soft pita pocket so you can scrape up the last of your sauce or dressing.
STREET SAYS: LYN’S We want justice for Lyn. We want everyone to appreciate the sweet little lady who works with fierce efficiency right outside Lower Quad Gate every weekday. Rain, blizzard or shine she’s there until 3 p.m. to give you a bacon, egg and cheese on an everything bagel after your weeknight walks of shame or sleepless VP nights. It’s cheap, efficient and the perfect place to see what the Scene looks like after a godless night out. Don’t hate on the non–breakfast sandwiches, as selections like the eggplant spinach parm are especially lit. And, for fuck’s sake, make sure that you have some cash on hand. Lyn deserves better than to have your lying ass promise that you’ll be back tomorrow to pay her back.
Thanks for voting us Best Happy Hour on Campus Join us for Happy Hour Monday-Thursday 5pm - 7pm and Friday 4pm - 7pm
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4000 Spruce Street • (215) 382-1330
BEST OF PENN
$3 & $4 draft beers, $3 well cocktails $6 nachos, $6 chicken and veggie quesadillas Winner
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YOU CHOSE: BEN
BEST FRO-YO/ICE CREAM:
& JERRY'S
We all knew Ben & Jerry were trendy, but now we can officially say they are the hottest (and cold–est?) guys on campus. We only wish they’d be open later than 10 p.m. to help us satisfy our late–night cravings. Conveniently located just past the edge of Locust Walk on 40th street, the University City branch offers scoops, shakes, pints and ice cream cakes in just about every f lavor imaginable. Need a chocolate fix? Go for a spoonful of Chocolate Therapy or Brownie Batter Core. Feeling political? Try Bernie’s Yearning. Feeling devious? Try every f lavor and peace the fudge out. There’s even something for the lactose–intolerant among us, as the ice cream titans marched out four non–dairy f lavors last month. All of Ben & Jerry’s f lavors of fro–yo and ice cream are made with fair–trade ingredients, so you won’t have a guilty conscience eating this sweet treat—at least until you start counting the calories. Pro Tip: Count by the pint, because nobody in the history of ice cream has ever eaten just one serving.
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BEST OF PENN
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
STREET SAYS: CAPOGIRO Street took some creative liberty with our definition of best “fro–yo/ice cream” and went with Capogiro’s delicious gelato. Perhaps a more inclusive title for this category would’ve been “best frozen dairy concoction,” but we don’t have time to be PC about our desserts because we’re too busy ciao–ing down. Capo’s gelato reminds this us of hot summer afternoons at the gelaterias in the suburbs outside Milan. Their overstuffed cups of gelato with colored spoons nestled between scoops are almost indistinguishable in appearance and taste from the ones you’ll get if you study abroad in Florence or Rome. You’ll be transported to sunny Italy as you SABS at the tables outside on Walnut. With the freedom to try different combinations of f lavors and the opportunity to learn some Italian food vocabulary, Capogiro not only offers scrumptious frozen treats but also an authentic and, for some, nostalgic experience.
YOU CHOSE:
FISHER FINE ARTS Fisher Fine Arts Library not only offers the peace and quiet necessary for that five–page essay, but also that great Instagram pic to show everyone back home how hard you’ve been studying—and how perfect the library looks while you do so. #nofilter necessary for this building’s flaming red exterior or clerestoried halls. The older, more attractive sibling to Van Pelt, Fisher Fine Arts was the University’s first library building and was designed by Frank Furness in the late nineteenth century. Its windows are adorned with mottos chosen by Frank Furness’s brother, Horace Howard Furness, who was a Shakespearean scholar at Penn. Some of these offer sage insights (“Smooth runs the water where the brook is deep”); others, we’ll just pretend to understand (“Many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose quills”).
VAN PELT BASEMENT BATHROOM The best place on campus to take a hot selfie is without a doubt the basement of VP bathrooms. They have everything you need to maximize your like–to–minute ratio. The weird lighting will create super flattering shadows that bring out the dark bags under your eyes. Be sure to use Valencia with just a hint of Lux to get that perfect glow. The VP geotag
will let everyone know just how hard you’re studying so they feel inferior while wasting their time checking insta. In case you're having caption–writer's block, the foul atmosphere will provide the perfect inspiration for ambiance hashtags #shitonthewalls #nohotwater #holdyourbreath. The smiling poop emoji will never be more appropriate. Make sure you
tag and DM the pic to @uofpenn to remind them of the cruel and unusual suffering a College student must go through to get a good smizing pic. Also you should probably tag illustrious SAS alumni @ ElizabethBanks, @JohnLegend and @ToryBurch in a desperate plea for non–Wharton donations.
BEST OF PENN
CREATIVE • BALANCED • SIMPLE 1608 SOUTH STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA 215-790-0330 • ENTREEBYOB.COM
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
STREET SAYS:
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BEST INSTAGRAM SPOT:
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YOU CHOSE: SABRINA'S
BEST BRUNCH:
Though the walk is a bit lengthy, this cute restaurant perched in the middle of Drexel’s campus is well worth the trek. Famous for its sweet and savory brunch options, Sabrina’s also offers lunch and dinner and its menu abounds with comfort food of all kinds. Whether you’re heading out for a sceney brunch with your lineage or taking your crush out for a first date, you’ll feel sophisticated and chic in the restaurant’s many small, decorated rooms. Sabrina’s is known for its challah french toast, stuffed with sweet cream cheese and drenched in maple syrup—but no matter what you order, the instagram will be worth it. Pro tip: call ahead and get there early, the wait is long on weekends and this in–demand brunch locale doesn’t take reservations.
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BEST OF PENN
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
STREET SAYS: FARMACY
If you don’t brunch at Farmacy, you don’t deserve to brunch at all. Farmacy offers different homemade butters and breads every day. Their huevos rancheros are so good that it took everything within our power not to get down on one knee and propose to the chef, the waitress and the stove. They make vegetables, put them in a skillet, cover them in cheese and give you an excuse to eat melted cheese for breakfast. They make French toast and then cover it in marshmallows. They even have a tofu scramble, if you’re into that kind of thing. Oh, and it’s a BYO. Why are you still reading this? Go.
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BEST ROWDY BYO: YOU CHOSE:
BANANA LEAF
STREET SAYS: DIM
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
Boat–races and slapping the bag are common sights at this consistently rowdy BYO spot in Chinatown. Banana Leaf is a hot–spot for cultural cuisine and bonding with your PennQuest group, but a terrible idea for parent’s weekend. The restaurant is the first-stop freshman BYO spot—which accounts for much of its rowdiness. Whether you’re having a hall, club or friend group BYO, Banana Leaf is probably the place you’ll end up. The tables are long, accommodating, and will probably be completely covered in cups, plates, utensils and empty boxes of Sunset Blush by the time you’re ready to go. It’s great for a large party as the hot Malaysian cuisine comes out in minutes and no one is ever left waiting for their food for too long. Banana Leaf always comes through—even though the menu might take you an hour to decipher. Where else can you get fried rice served in a pineapple?
SUM GARDEN
Everyone has an opinion on everything these days. "I hate boys in joggers," or "the Chipotle here sucks" (unanimous vote). It's hard to find consistency in this ever populated and fast moving world. This is why places like Dim Sum Garden are revered as heavenly escapes for the average turmoiled student. A scenario doesn't exist where an individual claims to dislike DSG. And you know why? Because DSG is consistently there for us, whether we need a back room for drinking too much Franzia or simply need to be comforted by a hot, crispy scallion pancake after a long day of avoiding human contact on Locust Walk. Dim Sum is the reason you can forget that Frontera ran out of shrimp again, or that your creepy secret crush referred to you as "the homie" last night. Dim Sum won't forget to get your number, put a mouse in your dorm room or punch you in the face during pledging. It's just going to aggressively sit you down and give you exactly what you asked for, no strings attached. What other restaurant will treat you like Belle in the "Be Our Guest" scene of Beauty and the Beast? And isn't that how every diner deserves to be treated? At the end of the day, the cynic in me believes you can't count on most things in life. But a soup dumpling turned this cynic into an optimist. In Dim Sum we trust. And so we beat on, boats against the current, with DSG as our sails.
Low prices Quick service Always reliable!
Stop by today! www.thecomputerfixer.com | 215-387-5900
BEST OF PENN
RIGHT NEXT TO CAMPUS: 3944 Chestnut St
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YOU CHOSE: ZESTO
BEST PIZZA:
The newer version of its 3 a.m. pizza competitor, Allegros, Zesto spoils its customers for choice with an array of options. These range from its classic hand tossed, stone fired pizzas to its signature gourmet pizzas. Located on 40th Street between Walnut and Sansom, Zesto’s is known primarily for its pizzas, but has a fairly diverse menu to cater to the tastes of most famished college students. Some of the other offerings include calzones, pasta, cheesesteaks and buffalo wings. Couple these choices with the availability of delivery after midnight and see if you can find a single Penn student who can turn down a meal from there. So it is a pretty obvious choice then — Zesto is the only real place to go to after night out… at Van Pelt, of course.
STREET SAYS:
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
DOCK STREET BREWERY
If you haven’t been to Dock Street Brewery yet, you’re doing it wrong. We know late night Allegro Pizza or Zesto’s might occupy a special place in your heart, but Dock Street is the true destination for great pizza. Their delicious variety of personal pizzas, with crust that’s light, airy and crunchy at once, come with great toppings and even better prices. To top that off, you can enjoy your pizza with one, or—who are we kidding—a few, of their amazing craft beers. If you’re still a skeptic and unsure about the inconvenient location, consider that the nice walk to and from campus is a relaxing, much–needed break from the Penn bubble.
YOU CHOSE: COPA
BEST HAPPY HOUR:
It’s 5:00 always at Copabanana, as University City’s best margarita joint makes every hour “happy.” The actual happy hour is even better with $3 cocktails and $6 nachos from 5–7 p.m. Monday through Thursday, and 4–7 p.m. on Friday. When you order the happy hour margaritas, Copa does not just give you a glass; they give you an entire shaker of their signature drink. Your wallet won’t be wasting away again in Margaritaville, for Copa’s affordability makes 40th and Spruce one of the best places to head on a Thursday night—grab a drink and one of its award–winning burgers and kick off your weekend. Pro tip: Copa’s happy hour is rivaled only by its brunch specials, with $3 Bloody Marys and mimosas and an amazing menu for its hungover patrons. Even better pro tip: book the private room at Copa for club events. You’ll be glad you did.
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BEST OF PENN
STREET SAYS: DISTRITO
Okay, we admit: the Spanish fries from Copa can be a life–saver after a long day of dartying. But sometimes a girl just needs her guac with a side of margs, and while Copa may be the go–to, we can't say no to the newly revamped Distrito happy hour. Street loves everything about Distrito. From the wrestling masks on the walls, to the sparkle–covered tables, to the swings on the top floor, Distrito is our happy place. And we have something extremely important to tell you: You need to check out their happy hour. Everyday from 5–7 p.m., margs, sangria, guac and veggie nachos are only $5 from this Jose Garces hotspot. Although we were initially less–than–pleased with the limited menu in the downstairs Taqueria that arrived late last year, we have now accepted it, embraced it, and refuse to ever leave it.
EAT IN, TAKE OUT, & FAST DELIVERY
Use coupon code PENN10 to receive 10% off your first online order!
Winner
(267) 292-2255
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SUN-THURS 11AM - 10PM FRI & SAT 11AM - 1AM
BEST OF PENN
125 S 40th Street
(at Walnut, across from Fresh Grocer)
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
HAND-TOSSED,STONE FIRED PIZZAS ARE JUST THE BEGINNING.
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ORDER ONLINE
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QUAD
This 121–year–old campus fixture isn’t just the place your cool friends lived when they were freshmen. With its towering architecture, historic dorm names and sprawling lawn perfect for pickup Frisbee and the occasional snowball fight, there’s no place more collegiate than the Quad. It’s not all Spring Fling festivities within the Quad’s legendary courtyards—in Riepe, there’s Dean DeTurck’s famous Wednesday night cookie extravaganzas, Ware’s over–the–top NSO carnival and Fisher–Hassenfeld’s (two!) residential programs on social change. The Quad harks back to a simpler time, when getting locked out of your room meant a frigid walk to Upper Quad gate in your bathrobe and everyone lived in the best hall, or so they said, whether it was the Mentors Hall in Riepe or the “Nipple” in Fisher (alright, the Nipple probably was the best). The Quad is the place where baby Quakers sprout into overachieving upperclassmen… and, if nothing else, it’s pretty close to Wawa.
Forget the Van Pelt third floor stacks — this newly–renovated, coffee shop is the best place to see–and–be–seen near campus while simultaneously doing work. The popular coffee shop on 40th and Locust streets received a Penn–inspired makeover this fall and now includes a new coffee bar, additional seating, extra outlets and even separate rooms for interviews. Saxby’s has also partnered with Penn’s Fine Arts department to feature rotating artwork by Penn students for a chill, upscale aesthetic. Its cold brew iced–coffee, steeped overnight, is the perfect pick–me–up for spring days and its bakery section provides mouth–watering treats for a post–class snack. With its spacious layout perfect for working, this is somewhere you’ll want to stay and write that term–paper or read a book, not just grab coffee and go. Pro tip: plan on arriving early on weekends to snag a place to sit—this hangout has been in high demand since its grand re–opening.
HILL
STREET SAYS:
GREEN LINE CAFE
While moving into the quad, I found a multi–legged, three–inch–long bug in my sink. We fought for dominance. It won. About a month before move out, a brown stain appeared suddenly on my ceiling and grew at a rapid, if not impressive, speed. Forgo the sneaky Quad room pregames, McClelland omelets (you poor souls, they don’t even use real egg) and prison– grade furniture and hightail it to the New Hill. Yes, I know it isn’t finished. And no, it doesn’t matter. Take shelter under those steely glass paned windows and bright red brick, and enjoy the close proximity to Yogorino. What? You want a bed? Too bad. Take the cleanliness and comfort of a brand–spanking–new building.
YOU CHOSE: THE
BEST OFF CAMPUS HOUSING:
RADIAN
Although a bit out of the way on your morning walk to class, Green Line on 42nd and Baltimore Streets is your ideal Sunday morning destination. Just far enough away from campus, you can get your necessary caffeine and finish the work you put off all weekend without running into everyone you know. Secluding yourself away on Baltimore takes away all distractions besides the allure of Clark Park outside Green Line’s window. Most importantly this non–WiFi–friendly café makes you sacrifice your Internet, which we really think is a blessing because coffee tastes a lot more bitter when you are attacked with unwanted emails and Facebook notifications. Make sure you grab a Weckerly’s ice cream sandwich from the fridge, a seat outside, and be sure to pet every dog that walks by the park.
BEST PLACE TO GET PAMPERED:
YOU CHOSE: ADOLF
BIECKER
Ever wondered what’s behind those glossy windows that boast of perfectly lined hair products as you pass Piper boutique on 34th and Walnut? Treat yourself to a blowout for your end–of– the–year formal or stop in for a haircut right near campus at Adolf Biecker. You’ll step into the cool, modern interior and marvel at the sea of hipster lightbulbs that stretch across the ceiling. Show the stylists your private Pinterest board that you’ve meticulously curated and the stylists there will know exactly what you want. With some of the city’s top aestheticians at Adolf Biecker dedicated to fulfill all your waxing and manicure needs, you won’t be disappointed. Why Google beauty advice when you’ve got excellent people to recommend you hot products on the spot? Make an appointment for those jungle brows, because you’ll need them to be on fleek for graduation.
The Radian is so close to classrooms that it lets you be on–campus without actually being “on-campus.” However, its location does not compromise its aesthetic appeal. With a dark tinted façade on its modern architectural structure, it could easily be considered the more attractive sibling of the High Rises. But the allure doesn’t end on the outside. Its state–of–the–art fitness center alongside other recreational facilities work in tandem with its private study room and walkout terrace to draw more residential applicants each year. So it should come as no surprise that prospective residents need to wait to be put on the waitlist here. Due to its proximity to Jimmy John’s, Fresh Grocer and Smokey Joe’s, to name a few, The Radian provides its residents with literally everything that a college student needs to survive. Though it has Tap House at its feet, its convenient location doesn’t give you an excuse for skipping that Friday 9 a.m.
STREET SAYS: UNDER
THE POOL TABLE IN THE DOMUS LOBBY
STYLE
Forget about Rittenpaws Nails and BLO/SNOUT, the 2016 best place to get groomed in Philadelphia is Doggie Style! Give your pussy a “Full Groom” or a less timely “Neatn’ Up;” however, prices do change depending on hair length! Definitely don’t forget about your bone–loving spirit animal either: Get a “Teeth Cleaning” for just $10! However, if you’ve got a stinky weiner dog, you’ll be begging to add on a “De–Skunker” treatment to clean up that bone! Also be sure to get a “Nail Clip” or “Nail Grind" if you’re trying to get your paws on some real good meat anytime soon. Additionally, you can top off a service for just $5 with a “Sanitary Trim” for those hard to reach crevices or even an “Anal Gland Release” on a simply shitty day. Don’t have much time? Treat yourself to the “Express Service” and call it a quickie.
BEST OF PENN 11
So. You’re looking to upgrade that Quad double. You’re not quite betchy enough to live in the Radian, but you want someplace more glamorous than the Highrises. And you sure as hell didn’t get your shit together for a house. Look no farther than 34th and Chestnut Streets, which is pretty damn far in the first place. Domus has everything: a pool, a spinning studio, a movie theater, a pretentious Latin name... Oh, and an almost $4,000/month price tag—unless you snag the one spot in Domus that is completely free. Lay down and rest (don’t try this sitting up) beneath the majestic pool table in the Domus lobby. Get an up–close look at the glinting wood–paneled floors. Stay up–to– date on the latest fashion trends by staring at the feet of everyone who walks by. Get a complimentary workout by running from security guards! Experience the height of luxury, while staying on the floor. Just don’t get caught. Please.
STREET SAYS: DOGGY
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
STREET SAYS: NEW
10 BEST OF PENN
YOU CHOSE: SAXBY'S
BEST COFFEE HOUSE:
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YOU CHOSE: THE
BEST ON CAMPUS HOUSING:
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YOU
LIVE
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L I M I T E D
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BEST OF PENN WINNER
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W AR IN A R
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AVA I L A B L E
Ground Floor Restaurants and Retail including Chipotle, CVS, and many more
FOR OFF CAMPUS HOUSING
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PUS HOUSING
S T I L L
Adjacent to University of Pennsylvania
2016
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Fully Furnished including Washer/Dryer, Cable, and High-speed Internet
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P R E M I E R
S T U D E N T
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R ADIANAPARTMENTS.COM
F O R
FA L L
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BEST BURSAR: YOU CHOSE:
PENN BOOKSTORE The Penn bookstore has won best bursar once again and it is easy to see why. The sheer variety of ways to spend your parents’ money is unparalleled on this campus. Missed Black Friday? You can finish your Christmas shopping for your whole family in one fell swoop—of course your mother will wear that “Proud Penn Mom” v-neck in public—and who but your family will appreciate a Penn pen? Besides, what better way to console yourself after replacing your third PennCard than by sipping a chai latte and perusing the back cover of the latest John Green novel, or perhaps your favorite professor’s book, the product of decades of tenure track research? There is truly no end to the possibilities at the bookstore of your favorite prestigious university.
HEALTH SERVICES
Not everyone has someone picking up the tab for the magic “fake money”called Bursar that gets attached to your student bill, but for those lucky individuals who do, many can think of the countless times that the mystical money source in the sky swooped in to save the day. Like that time you made the mistake of wearing gray one hot, humid September morning and had to bursar a replacement tee on your way to class, or that month that you spent all of your “real money” on downtowns, alcohol and $15 Sweetgreen salads and had to subsist on Frontera and Houston for the rest of the month. But nothing quite compares to bursar’s greatest gift: funding your emergency contraceptive at SHS. So next time “the condom breaks,” don’t shell out $60 bucks and your dignity buying Plan B in the sceney joint that is CVS. Charge that lil pill to bursar. And, don’t worry when your parents pay the bill, all they’ll see is “SHS fee” not “last night’s drunken mistake.” So Bursar, you enigmatic superhero you, thank you for being more reliable than condoms, and more generous than that fuckboy who didn’t even offer to split it $30/$30. We love you, and are forever in your debt.
ACED YOUR FINAL? do a kegstand
FAILED Post finals YOUR FINAL? CALLS FOR A
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
STREET SAYS: STUDENT
do a kegstand
pre game We’ve got THE BEER FOR your holiday party!
Studying too hard?
2206 Washington Ave, Philadelphia | (215) 546-7301 | we deliver 2206 Washington ave, Philadelphia (215) 546-7301
WE DELIVER Take a break
BEST OF PENN 1 3
beer springfield distributor
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14 BEST OF PENN
BEST BAR: YOU CHOSE:
SMOKES' Once again, Smoke’s is hands down the best bar at campus. The Pennstitution’s Sink or Swim on Wednesdays is still simultaneously your best and worst idea of the week. If you’re looking to catch a glimpse of everyone from the basketball team to half of the Class of 2016, they'll all congregate at a single, sacred place: Smokes'. From Joe the Bartender's uncanny ability to recognize nearly every patron to that bouncer you go out of your way to get to know to avoid that $1 cover, there's nowhere else on campus that can offer half of the fun. And if you're looking for the right kind of music out of your bar, Smoke's has it all. From Billy Joel to T–Swift, it's about guaranteed you'll get to hear a little bit of everything. And for good measure, have some Enjay's while you're at it.
STREET SAYS: ...THE
SAME THING! HEY, YOU GOT ONE RIGHT! SEE YOU AT SINK OR
Sip away your MALAISE Our new #juiceHUB juices supercharge your day. 100% raw, organic, vegan and cold pressed— in 5 delicious flavors, now at HubBub
3736 Spruce St. | www.hubbubcoffee.com | 215.387.0700
SWIM TONIGHT. DRINKS ARE ON STREET*. * OKAY, WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO BUY YOUR DRINKS, SORRY, WE'RE A WEEKLY PUBLICATION, WE'RE NOT MADE OF MONEY. BUT THE FIRST 50 PEOPLE TO ARRIVE AFTER 10P P.M. WITH A COPY OF STREET DON'T HAVE TO PAY COVER. LOOK AT WHAT WE DID FOR YOU!! NOW GO GET DRUNK.
YOU CHOSE: METRO The breakfast sandwiches at Metropolitan Bakery are probably the only reason you get out of bed after that long night of ‘casual’ drinking. Metro offers breakfast all day. The Lumberjack—with maple turkey sausage, eggs, chevre and mixed greens—is perfect for that hangover that you’re trying to deny. If you are interested in something more lowkey: Tom’s Favorite with smoked salmon, cream cheese, capers, onion and tomato on a bagel is still amazing. If you are feeling wild, order any of the homemade pastries on the side. It probably won’t help with the headache but they’re so good you won’t regret it. The housemade granola is also a great choice. If you love their artisanal bread, you can even bring some home by choosing from their long list. The seventy–five cent coffee refills are a major plus, seeing as how you will probably have at least three.
Let Street put this simply: Bui's will give you life. Are you really hungover? Get a Bui's breakfast sandwich. Have a 9 a.m. recitation and need something to give you meaning and get you through a bitchy TA's morning diatribe? Get a Bui's breakfast sandwich. Penn's students introduction to Bui's seems to be pretty universal; it's Saturday, and you're walking down 38th and Spruce Streets, to find that it's
the only food truck available. You're dehydrated and you're dead, and you don't know what to order. But, when you look at the menu, you spot The Hangover Special, a sausage, ham, egg and cheese sandwich that will carry you through the day. It includes a gatorade. You then find out that you can text Bui your order ahead. Your heart has been stolen. As college students, we look to find for
all–encompassing quick fixes. Bui's breakfast sandwiches are this precisely: They get you through any day and every occasion. The Vietnamese couple that runs this truck are a pair of homies who have got you covered. And not only is the food delicious, but you will always find a friendly, familiar face in a sea of midterm sadness waiting for you at this truck.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
STREET SAYS: BUI'S
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BEST BREAKFAST SANDWICH
BEST OF PENN 1 5
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BEST PLACE TO HAVE YOUR PARENTS BUY YOU DINNER: YOU CHOSE:
WHITE DOG White Dog is not your average college hangout, but it’s the place to be when your parents are in town. This aesthetically pleasing Victorian brownstone gets it’s food from a variety of local and organic venders around Philadelphia. From the Spicy Lamb Bolognese to the Green Meadow Double Cheddar Burger, these delectable treats will be enough for you to call home once in awhile to make sure your parents are visiting. White Dog serves a tray of breads and muffins during brunch time with your meal. An array of vegetarian and vegan options, like Kennet Square Mushroom Gratin or the Grilled Asparagus Salad, will keep the whole family on board about going to White Dog. Not to mention, the cute dog decor truly adds to the meal and can definitely convince younger siblings that this is a must-stop shop. Call ahead for a reservation during parent’s weekend.
STREET SAYS: PARC After spending a semester surviving on $3 Allegro Pizza slices at 2 a.m. and pre–packaged cereal cups from Wawa the following day, you’re thrilled when your parents announce their upcoming visit. The minute they ask you to make a dinner reservation you’re presented with a rare opportunity: Impress your ‘rents with how cultured
16 BEST OF PENN
HAPPY HOUR Monday-Friday 5-8 pm Dollar off select drafts $5 Heineken Tuesday $3 Lager/Miller Lite all day Thursday QUIZZO 10 pm - 12 am $3 Lager
you are, and eat a meal that amounts to your food budget for the whole week—completely free. Parc is easily the best restaurant for achieving both of these goals. Facing the twinkling lights of Rittenhouse Square, Parc wins for its atmosphere as much as it does for its food. The French restaurant is filled with decorations reminiscent
of Paris, and is quiet enough to admit to your parents that you still don’t have a boyfriend yet. The food itself is a showstopper. Treat yourself to the cheesiest French onion soup you could never eat in front of your betchy srat sisters and don’t skip the profiteroles for dessert. You’ll (shockingly) never want your parents to leave.
You didn't think we'd leave you without adding a little pizzazz to Best of Penn, did you? Read on to find out where you should have your next date night, buy your drugs and pee in public. We're not the heroes you need, but we're the heroes you deserve.
BEST PLACE TO TAKE A MOMENT FOR YOURSELF:
CLARK PARK
BEST DATE NIGHT VENUE:
THE ROTUNDA
Penn’s hottest club is The Rotunda. Don’t know what we’re talking about? Congrats on being ignorant AF. The Rotunda, located conveniently next to the Cinemark, offers countless amenities including: seemingly limitless space, on–campus access, proximity to the rhythm room, walls, a door, great drainage and an awkwardly circular layout—it’s the the perfect venue for your next srat date night! Additionally, the Rotunda (or, “the Tund” as we are now calling it #spreadtheword) includes space for seating (the floor) and a catering option. The Tund doubles as a church/community center, giving it both divinity and humility. Call in advance because it usually books up with Wharton networking events and Chance the Rapper performances. DM Amy G. for details. Odds you do it. You won’t.
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Has Fling weekend suddenly turned you into an introvert? Do you need to escape the capitalist bubble that tried to sell you concert tickets you didn’t know you wanted? Now is a good time to remember that two blocks west of campus lies a magical green land called Clark Park. Upon walking through the park’s gates, you’ll notice a kiosk teaching you about what trees are giving you the shade you need to recover from your hangover. They even list the trees that are no longer with us. Take a moment to yourself to remember the fallen trees and to curse humanity. Wander a little farther into the park towards the playground. Since you’ve ventured into “real” West Philly, you definitely won’t run into anyone when you decide to test whether swings are more fun than downtowns. Take another moment to grab a coffee at Green Line Café across the street and enjoy it on one of Clark Park’s bright orange lawn chairs. There’s no Wifi in Green Line—they’re basically begging you to unplug and experience the great outdoors.
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BEST PLACE FOR A CLANDESTINE DRUG DEAL:
BEST EXCUSE NOT TO GO OUT:
OH WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW, YOU FUCKING NARC?
EXISTENTIAL DREAD Existential dread. It happens to the best of us all of us. Sometimes you’re just struck by a sudden, inescapable fear of the future and all you want is Chipotle and a cocoon of blankets, not bankers and a collection of half–sober Intagram pics. Maybe it was realizing your LinkedIn profile is underdeveloped or trying to forecast your GPA (please cease and desist), but the emotional tailspin can strike at the most inopportune times. Honestly, falling into the emotional void is totally valid, and not only will this excuse always work because, well, half of your friends are probably trying to party through it, but just maybe you can turn what was going to be a lame–ass pregame into chilling with people who can drag you out of the abyss. Not only is this excuse probably ~too real~ and super effective, but it’s also fun to text sans explanation.
What was that? You want “addy” for that test coming up? I’m gonna have to subtract–y myself from this conversation, bud. If you think I’m going to give you directions, I have a dry and sanitary bench by the Compass for you to sit on. Cocaine? That’s an Eric Clapton song. Pot? Do I look like a fucking Bed Bath & Beyond? Molly? That’s a country in northwestern Africa. Looks like one–way tickets are about $1109 on TripAdvisor. Take that shit and never come back again. Heroin? I’m all for female leads in superhero movies. We really seem to forget how heteronormative all the stories are—oh, look at the muscled dude with super powers saving the helpless woman while all Wonder Woman gets is a fucking lasso like she’s the Twinkies mascot. What’s she gonna do, give the bad guys Type 2 diabetes? Speaking of, I totally forgot Hostess went bankrupt. That fucking blows. PacSun did too. Where am I going to get my fix of quirky graphic T–shirts with animals in college human situations? You know, back in highschool I used to—okay, he’s gone guys. Let’s smoke this J in peace.
BEST THING TO FACE SWAP WITH: WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
A SMILEY FACE ON A TIT
We're fucking tired of y'all thinking you're innovative for face–swapping with the Ben Franklin statue or someone's face on a f lyer. You need to step your game up. Move outside of the box and make faces where there weren't any before. So there you have it, grab a magic marker, free the nipple and draw a smiley face on your housemate's titty. There's literally nothing funnier than having an areola in place of your nose, and most of you are boobs anyway. You'll be the talk of the Snapchat stories for literally at least four days.
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34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011 34TH STREET Magazine December 1, 2011
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20, 2016
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enjoy the best of penn JUST STEPS AWAY IN UNIVERSITY SQUARE!
20 BEST OF PENN
34th & walnut streets: Adolph biecker salon • auntie anne’s • cvs • dunkin donuts • mad mex • mediterranean cafe • nom nom ramen • piper • quiznos • united by blue 34th & sansom streets: doc magrogan’s oyster house • federal donuts 36th & walnut streets: american apparel • ANN TAYLOR LOFT • BLUE MERCURY • COMPUTER CONNECTION • COSI • HELLO WORLD • PENN BOOKSTORE • PENNE RESTAURANT • PHILADELPHIA RUNNER • POD • URBAN OUTFITTERS 36TH & CHESTNUT streets: o’cHATto japanese cuisine • KIWI frozen YOGURT • WAWA 37TH & SPRUCE streets: BEIJING RESTAURANT • BONDED CLEANERS • penn campus hair skin & nail salon • kitchen GIA • HUBBUB coffee • PHILLY PRETZEL FACTORY / PHILLY IS NUTS • SALAdWORKS • UPS STORE • WAWA 38TH & walnut streets: honeygrow • jOSEPH ANTHONY HAIR SALON • TD BANK • VERIZON WIRELESS 40TH STREET: BEN & JERRY’S • CINEMARK • FRESH GROCER • HARVEST • HIP CITY VEG • LAST WORD BOOK SHOP • METROPOLITAN BAKERY • GREEK LADY • natural shoe • QDOBA MEXICAN GRILL • SAXBY’S COFFEE • SMOKEY JOE’S • U.S. POST OFFICE
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