Loved One How to Eulogize Your
You’ve been tasked with eulogizing your loved one, and you have minimal time to prepare. In my work as a funeral celebrant, I’ve personally eulogized hundreds of dear people and have listened to many more eulogies. Here are my tips:
1
Keep the eulogy laser-focused on The Person you’re remembering. I suppose this is obvious, but I have heard eulogists stray far from The Person in an attempt to get an inspirational message across. Concentrate on the specificity of your loved one’s signature life. What traits, what actions, what lifestyle, made your dear one absolutely oneof-a-kind?
2
Star t f rom the beg inning, summarizing where your loved one was born and the family into which your loved one was born. Ground the story in time and place with specifics. Perhaps
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3rd Act magazine | spring 2020
give some context: “He was born the year after World War II ended…”
3
Pick two or three short stories that illustrate who your loved one was as a person—and for what he or she stood. If your loved one was all about family and her children, choose a story that illustrates this. If he was all about, say, building or fixing things, choose a story to illustrate that.
4
Utilize “The Rule of Thirds.” No doubt your loved one was a person of abundant gifts - acknowledge he or she had many—but choose to concentrate on just three gifts. What
BY PAUL BOARDMAN were your loved one’s three gifts to the world? Or to you specifically? Don’t go through an extensive list. Choose just three, and back up each one with a story. She was compassionate. How was she compassionate? He was a family man. What story best illustrates his love of family? She was an avid outdoors person, yes, but more importantly how did she impart that love of nature to you—and to others? “He was a ‘man’s man’ who liked to bake cookies?” Great, what kind of cookies did he bake?
5
Don’t shy away from praise. Through specific colorful stories, seek to “show” your loved one’s personhood and soul. In sharing these stories, you are welcoming others to see how your loved one was as you describe him or her. Laughs, giggles, and tears will be the response to your call. What
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