What I Told My Kids Donna LeClair

What I Told My Kids

Donna LeClair - Grand Isle, VT Sitting at the supper table that night, I looked at my teenaged daughter and son and thought, “Oh! I’ve got to tell them this. Right now!” It was one more of the myriad bits of information and wisdom parents feel duty-bound to impart to their children. My daughter was a high school senior, and my son was a freshman. They were both old enough to receive, understand, and heed, the information I felt an immediate need to provide. In fact, I wondered how it could have escaped me that they had not been told this information before. The trigger that prompted my talk was that our dog had died, and we were without one. I was grieving the loss. Suddenly I thought my children might want to ease my heartache with another.

“Don’t ever buy me a dog. And don’t buy anyone else a dog, or a cat, either. Even if someone’s dog or cat has died, people have preferences. I’m partial to poodles or poodle mixes because of my allergies, but I would always want to choose my own dog and, as a family, we decide together. People often want to feel a ‘connection’ when they choose a pet. Some people like big dogs; others, little ones; some want a short-haired dog; others want one with long hair.”

“You might think someone is so devastated when their dog or cat dies that they will surely want another one. But maybe not. They are grieving because that one was so special to them. They might need time to adjust to that loss. Maybe they want to consider whether they will have one at all. Sometimes their love is so great for the one they lost that they never do get another one. Those should be their choices, over time.”

“Okay, that’s for me and my feelings. This is for yourselves. Never get a dog, cat, or any pet, without thinking through how you will take care of it. You need to think about how long it might live so you can plan to take care of it for all of its life. Where might you live? If you live in an apartment, the first question is: Are pets allowed? How long might you live there? Will you have a job that requires traveling, or might you want to take extended trips? What about your pet? Who will take care of it if you’re away? Doggie Day Care can get expensive over a long period of time, and would that be fair to your dog?”

“Suppose you do live in an apartment, and your landlord says it’s okay to have a dog. What is the apartment like? Is it four floors up? Because if you have a dog, there could be a serious number of flights to go up and down to take your 4-legged buddy outdoors. All these things should be considered so you can properly take care of the pet you will love.”

“Then there is the cost to have a pet. You need to license your dog with the town you live in. There will be shots needed to keep it healthy, and if it gets sick or is hurt in some way, you need to know you can afford the care it needs, and that can sometimes be very expensive.”

This conversation and the questions were asked many years ago. My children are now adults with their own children. They took my advice, and both waited to have their dogs when they had homes of their own.

When Hurricane Katrina was forecast to hit New Orleans, people were being evacuated and told to leave their pets behind. My son told me he watched on TV as one man was the last to board a bus to be taken to a safe place, and when the bus doors closed, his dog wildly, insistently, jumped up and down against the doors of the bus as it pulled away. My son is like a dog whisperer. He loves dogs. He said to his wife, “I would never leave my dog.”

His wife replied, “You would have to.”

“Read my lips—I would NEVER leave my dog!”

That is the depth of love my family feels for our dogs. Winter 2021