Highway To Hell

Now iconic in millennial Midwestern culture, here’s the rarely-told history behind the infamous “HELL IS REAL” highway signs

By John M. Clark / Photos by Jordy Middlebrooks / Story Design by Bryce Patterson

After all, it’s been there for well over a decade – longer than most people care to remember – near another sign with the message, “If you died today, where would you spend eternity?” These two ominous messages face southbound travelers, on the east side of the highway. Northbound drivers see the Ten Commandments on the backs of the two billboards.

By State of Ohio estimates, upwards of 40,000 drivers or more per day see the “HELL IS REAL” sign, which may reflect the beliefs of many conservative Protestants. But it also draws its share of cynics. And that’s where professional sports and retail sales fit in.

Shortly after Cincinnati’s professional soccer team joined the major leagues in 2019, the Orange & Blue began playing the Columbus Crew twice a season – once in each city. And the “Hell is Real Derby” was born, as players and fans passed by the prominent billboard for every “away” match.

A suggested name, the Ohio Derby, fell flat among the increasingly vocal fans of each team. Perhaps it wasn’t “raw” enough; not “visceral” enough. When one fan on social media suggested the “Hell is Real Derby,” there was no going back. And the name seems appropriate enough, given the fierce rivalry that continues to build between the two clubs. But thank goodness, no one is suggesting that a missed goal will send anyone into an eternal lake of fire.

Aside from the game-day “HELL IS REAL” banner waving, images of the billboard have also turned up on clothing, on drink coasters and in at least one Columbus bar. Two years ago, a bartender at The Bottle Shop on King Avenue was moved to invent the “HELL IS REAL” flaming Jamaican rum cocktail.

While the billboard-branded items might seem a natural outgrowth of the rivalry, given the popularity of the two soccer teams, the origin of the namesake sign is a curious one. It started with the Jimmy Harston family of rural Scottsville, Kentucky, two hours south of Louisville. Jimmy is often quoted as saying God instructed him 20 years ago to start erecting religious billboards after his prostate cancer “miraculously disappeared.”

The Harstons are members of a large family who have done well for themselves in Southern Kentucky, developing hundreds of lakefront properties for residences and vacation homes. They also rent “hideaway” cabins along Barren River Lake and do a fair amount of farming on their private land in Allen County. They can afford to spread the Gospel.

Jimmy, 73, and son Chad, 42, are responsible for upwards of 20 religious billboards throughout Ohio and the Deep South. The Harstons’ routine includes placing newspaper ads to locate landowners who will lease them small parcels near busy highways. Finding like-minded Christians with prime property means they pay next to nothing for 99-year leases. The two men handle all the construction work, spending up to $8,000 of their own money to erect each billboard. “It’s a big job to do,” said Chad, by telephone. “But we put the signs up in a couple of days, and it’s done.”

Others in the area feature such religious directives as, “Use the rod on your children and spare their life” and “Jesus said you be ashamed of me and I will be ashamed of you.”

So, why not a slogan that’s a bit more uplifting? One less likely to provoke a non-believer into painting graffiti on the signs or, in some cases, even sawing them down? “My dad and I were led to put those messages up there,” according to Chad. “Hell is mentioned in the Bible many more times than heaven. It’s a warning to those who are not prepared when they die. If you’re not saved, you’re certainly not going to heaven.” Chad is quick to add that everything he and his father do is perfectly legal, that all their signs are on private property, and that they obey all outdoor advertising laws.

As Jimmy has gotten older, though, health problems have pushed more and more of the sign-building business onto Chad. A recent procedure to install a heart pacemaker put the older Harston out of commission for several weeks. And while Chad seems as dedicated as his father to spreading their version of God’s word along our interstates, it's still unclear whether or not he's a soccer fan.