Seven Days, September 6, 1995 by Seven Days

Flushed R0L with Success In May, some 500 delegates attended an international toilet symposium in Hong Kong that covered such topics as design of public toilets, culture and social habits of toilet use, and environmentally friendly, or "green," toilets. Also part of the three-day conference, according to The Washington Post, was an edict by the Japan Toilet Association, which two years ago held the first such international toilet symposium and claimed to have raised public awareness of toilets in Japan; "Now we have just started to build the international toilet network. We hope the toilet network will spread over the world." Two months before leaders of the Group of Seven leading industrialized nations convened their June summit at the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic in Halifax, Nova Scotia museum officials closed the bathrooms for six weeks of renovations requested by G7 organizers. •British Scrabble player Michael Goldman, 62, filed a lawsuit against the Association of Premier Scrabble Players for not allowing him sufficient time to

go to the bathroom during a tournament at the Buratin Hotel in Folkestone. Goldman said he had to negotiate five crowded hotel conference rooms — including one crowded with a convention of cowhands — then wait in line to use the facilities. He said he was away no more than seven minutes, but in his absence, his opponent completed his turn and officials started Goldman's game clock, causing him to lose four minutes of playing time, the tournament, and ultimately, $318 in prize money. "This may appear to be a relatively trivial matter, but it is not," Goldman's lawyer said, noting that Scrabble is Goldman's "recreation and an important part of his life." Sex is Its Own Punishment Vigorous sex can cause blurred vision, according to Johns Hopkins University researchers. The temporary condition, called valsava retinopathy, usually is associated with other forms of exertion, such as weightlifting, or with prolonged vomiting or severe coughing. It results from tiny blood vessels breaking or delicate tissue at the back of the eyeball tearing. Dr. Neil M. Bressler, a co-author of the study, commented, "Maybe this gives us a physical explana-

tion as to why some 'old wives' •Australia's brothels and sex tales' said certain sexual activities shops announced a boycott of could result in blindness." French-made adult videos, magazines and sex toys to protest •In Denver, David Joseph President Jacques Chirac s deciZaba, 32, pleaded guilty to assault for pouring varnish on his sion to resume nuclear testing in the South Pacific. "French-maid wife during sex instead of the outfits and French knickers are honey and chocolate syrup she being taken out of window diswas expecting. Angela Zaba said plays and requests for condoms that the varnish made her hair as French letters are to be fall out. The police reporting the ignored," said the Eros incident said the couple have Foundation, which represents been using food as part of their Australia's sex trade. The industry sex life for six or seven years, notis also undertaking a major ing that the wife "stated that this review of language and terminolis not the first time he has used ogy which paints the French as varnish, but she has had enough, lovers and therefore peaceful. so she called the police." •Dutch prostitutes were invitIs Nothing Sacred? ed to join an offshoot of the In Italy, a police investigation country's main trade union, into illegal gambling discovered called Prosex, to improve their that an unnamed man in his 60s working conditions, stop emptied his family tomb in La exploitation and set standards of Spezia so he could sell it to pay service. off gambling debts. After raising Sadomasochistic sessions, for 100 million lira ($60,000), he example, will be more strictly reportedly reburied the five regulated. The mistress must exhumed relatives at a cemetary guarantee client safety, keep a key six miles away. nearby and ensure that handcuffs and other bindings take no Oops! longer than 30 seconds to unfasIn Portland, Oregon, 19-yearten in case of an emergency. old Troy Harding was turning (After Reuters news agency postaway from his car when he ed this dispatch, it issued a corbumped into the tip of his radio rection, asking editors to use the antenna and about 3 1/2 inches version headlined "Dutch of the antenna poked into his Prostitutes Unionize to Protect nose and entered his brain. "Its Rights") instead of the previous the weirdest thing you've ever one : "Dutch Protestants heard of," Harding told doctors Unionize to Protect Rights." after pulling himself free. He lost

about a pint of blood and reported the only after-effect seemed to be that standing gives him a headache. •In Grottoes, Virginia, rookie police officer David E. Broad, 40, told Chief Charles Lawhorne, 48, that he was having problems taking his gun out of his townissued holster. According to The Washington Post, Lawhorne called Broad to his house for some training "to save your life." They practiced quick draws with unloaded weapons, and when Broad thought the session was over, he reloaded to return to duty. As he was heading out the door, the chief clapped and told him to draw just one last time. Thinking he was "still in training mode," Broad turned and pulled the trigger, shooting the chief in the chest. A General District Court judge ruled the shooting was accidental. Occupational Hazard In Brazil, retired beer-taster Bernd Naveke sued the brewery he worked for, claiming it turned him into an alcoholic. Naveke, who is seeking $160,000 in compensation, said he drank the equivalent of 50,000 bottles of beer during his 20 years with the firm. A company official denied the charge, explaining that beer tasters need drink only a small amount of each sample, although they aren't prevented from drinking the whole amount. •

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE

page.

SEVE.MAYS,

September

6 , - • 19 9 5 A

re we nuts or what? Two edi-

— can you have a chat with the mayor in the

tors, motivated by good

morning and turn up in his speech that after-

writing, venturing into the dog-

noon? In what other city does the electric com-

eat-dog world of publishing? A

pany offer words of encouragement as they're

Testing, Testing

couple of neophyte entrepreneurs

hooking up your service? Ditto the phone guys,

SAT scores big in The Atlantic Monthly

set on succeeding in a business

landlord and parking lot attendant.

increasingly dominated by Wal-

champion of} the

By Paula Routly..

page 5

Maybe we are crazy. Crazy to think Vermont deserves a feisty, provocative weekly owned and

martesque conglomerates?

The go-year-old

Nine months ago we had no

written by people who know the community.

1 2 Courses W e ' d Most L i k e to T a k e

intention of owning a paper. We

Crazy to believe that people appreciate intelli-

By P. Finn McManamy.

had just invented one we liked a

gent, well-written articles on pages that look as

lot — Vox— and looked for-

good as they read. Crazy to want to work this

The W a y We W e r e

ward to writing and editing it

hard to make it happen.

alma matters

for years to come. But a sudden

One thing's certain: We're crazy about this paper. The goal of Seven Days is to provide a

drastically altered our plans. In

weekly mix of articles about people, places and

short, we realized the only way

things worth doing, as well as news — with a

A M S O n

to carry out our editorial mis-

twist — reviews, opinion, entertainment and up-

By Philip Baruth

sion was to become our own

to-the-minute listings. In short — the definitive

publishers.

word on life in Vermont. Thanks to all the other people out there who

say downright risky — move,

share our vision and believe we can transform it

and one that would probably

into newsprint — our staff, investors, advertisers,

have been impossible anywhere

family and friends. Seven Days will deliver.

else. Where — if not Vermont

Letters Policy:

A former seminarian

revists

By Peter Freyne

change in the paper's ownership

It was a daring — some may

-P a g e 7

page 11

A n excerpt from The Dream oft the White Village

page 12

The Pies H a v e It

Rating home-delivered pizza in

the Burlington area

By Irving Shelby Smith

page 19

One M o r e for the Ho

Review oft Cxhamt

By Mark Madigan

page 22

SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves. Include your full name and a daytime

phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. We'll have an e-mail address next week.

departments weekly mail

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calendar

page 14

art listing

page 21

talking pictures

page 23

real astrology

page 24

wellness directory

page 26

duane

page 27

Co-publishers/editors Paula Routly, Pamela Polston Art Director Lars-Erik Fisk Production Manager Kathy Erickson Circulation Manager/Office Shiva Maggie Starvish. Account Executives Clove Tsindle, Rick Wdpds, Barbara Peabody Calendar Writer Clove Tsindle Contributing writers Bill Craig, Peter Freyne, Kevin Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Mark Madigan, P. Finn McManamy, Ed Neuert, Amber Older, Willow Older, Ron Powers, Robert Resnik, Amy Rubin, Barry

Contributing photographers

Snyder

Leslie Dowe, Sandy Milens, Andrew Musty,

Laury Shea, Alex Williams

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This is what I get for cutting those new-age nostrums some slack. I decided to conduct my own experiments. Having rounded up a couple of MDs and a volunteer candlee, I went to my neighborhood new-age apothecary shop to buy ear candles. I discovered to my surprise that 1) they were 11 inches long — I'd had the idea they were the size of birthday candles; and 2) they cost $3.50 each. This gets you a hollow cone made of wax-impregnated cloth with a raw-materials cost of maybe 10 cents — a profit margin that has to make even ballpark hot dogs look economical. Figuring that the MDs' medical education had probably been a little light in the ear-candling department, I also bought an ear- candling manual. In the "theory and research" section I read that "the low flame of the [ear candle] wick creates a slow vacuum which softens and pulls the old wax into the base of the candle." Slow vacuum? I read on. "Our theory is that [various benefits] are possible because all the passages in the head are interconnected, allowing the candles to drain the entire system osmotically through the membrane of the ear... All nerves have a thin coating of spinal fluid which can become polluted. The fluid in your body circulates 14 times a day in order to cleanse itself... Our cranial bones become misaligned...[Candling] cleans the lymph within this structure as well as the cochlear hairs themselves. "Whew, too deep for me. But the manual did have pictures, so even dopes could do it right. > The medical team consisted of Keith Block, a family practitioner with an interest in alternative medicine, and Cecil's good friend Clark Federer. Clark is a surgeon rather than an ear-nosethroat guy, but I meant to be prepared for any eventuality. Our subject was Pat, a 30-year-old male who'd had earwax removed via conventional medical treatment some years earlier. First we peered into Pat's ears with an oroscope, the familiar flashlight-type examining device. The poor guy had enough wax in there to make his own candles. We put him on the table, lit the candle and stuck it in his ear in the prescribed manner. Then we watched, struggling to suppress the thought that we should also be chanting and maybe sacrificing small animals. When the candle had burned down to two inches we snuffed it and examined the treated ear with the oroscope. No change, except possibly that wax was dented where the candle had been stuck in. Upon slicing open the candle stub, however, we found a considerable quantity of brown'wax and whitish powder. The manual had the audacity to intimate that the powder was Candida yeast extracted from the ear, conceding that possibly "1 to 10 percent" was from the used candle. The disappointed.MDs were more inclined to say it was 100 percent, but just to be sure we burned another candle in the open air. When we sliced it open we found wax and powder identical to the first. Conclusion: It's a hoax, although candling devotees will probably say we just didn't do it right. Maybe we should have sacrificed those small animals after all.

Is there something you need to get straightf Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11

NYNEX

page

Recently I heard about ear candling from a friend and\ ever on the prowl for novel ways to rid myself ofearwax, decided to investigate. My friend's mother and sister had tried ear candling and were enthusiastic about its virtues. One ecstatic earwax remover reported that a "gumball-sized" glob ofearwax was recovered after the procedure. That was incentive enough for me. Sure enough, inserting and burning an ear candle produced yellow, stinky wax in the stub of the candle tube. However, I was suspicious of the cause of said wax and demanded that a "control candle" be burned in free air, with no ear attached Ear candling devotees worldwide cried out in sorrow when we cut the stub open to reveal... another glob of stinky yellow wax! Cecil, it's alia sham, a ruse, a hoax. Would that it were otherwise. — Bill Gribble, Tina Gezler, Austin, TX

9 9 Church Street, Burlington 27 Berard Drive, South Burlington

r r wki

Dear Cecil,

SEVEH

DAYS

s eptembe r

6 ,

1995

The 90-year-old champion of the SAT st ores big in T h e Atlantic M o n t h l y

By P a u l a

sk any group of college students what brought them to school in Vermont and their answers will likely range from "skiing" to the family Jeep. Few will flash back to a certain four-hour exam that measured their brain power on a scale of 0 to 800. Those who do recall that sweaty rite of academic passage are more inclined to associate it with a number-two pencil than one 90-year-old psychemetrician living in Vermont. The guy behind the graphite is Henry Chauncey, the Harvard-educated football-playing founder of the organization that administers the Scholastic Aptitude Test — along with the LSAT, GRE and countless other entrance exams. Last month, after a long career of multiple

Routly

choices, Chauncey finally got some real publicity for his life's work. He is the subject of a two-part article about the "sorting" of American society that appeared this month and last in The Atlantic Monthly. Writer Nicholas Lemann stumbled onto the story while pursuing questions unanswered by his own study of American "opportunity" — The Promised Land — about the northern migration of blacks from the rural

PAST THE TEST:

Henry Chauncey relaxes at Wake Robin

ghettos of Chicago," says Chauncey, explaining how Lemann ended up in the archives of the Princeton-based Educational Testing Service. "Meanwhile in this country we

IT TOOK A WAR TO GET THE COUNTRY REALLY ORGANIZED SCHOLASTICALLY South to the city of Chicago. "The old American dream of anybody being able to rise to the top, wasn't applied in the

are worshipping meritocracy, or selection of the best. How do you put these two things together?"

This conundrum — how to provide greater access to education with a systematic means of selection — is what started the national discussion about standardizing testing in the first place. And piqued the interest of young Chauncey, the son of an Episcopal minister, who transferred to Harvard as a psychology student after a year at Ohio State. Getting into Harvard was no problem. Chauncey had gone to Groton, a prestigious boarding school, and the long

essay tests administered to wannabe freshmen were specially designed for preps. But with the exception of a dozen Ivy League institutions, admissions testing was a thing of the future. Especially during the Depression, the primary entrance requirement was the ability to pay. Informal scholarships — like the one Chauncey received — were both competitive and insecure. In 1933, under new leaderContinued

on page

•mt

night

cap. For nearly 200 years, students have been earning their Bachelor's Degrees during the day from The University of Vermont. Now, through Evening University, that history of academic excellence continues in the evening. At Evening University you'll find an impressive list of majors that includes: Art, Business Administration, Civil Engineering, English, Psychology, and Sociology. You'll also benefit from 4 world-class faculty, libraries, computer •» facilities and academic counseling. And the best part is, it all leads to a UVM degree. So whichever major you choose, Evening University is the perfect way to cap off an evening. Tb find out how you can earn your degree from UVM in the evening, please call toll-free 1-800-639-3210.

uvmQI Come to our open house at 322 South Prospect Street on September 27 from 5 to 7 p.m. Please call to prerej

The

EVENING UNIVERSITY

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September

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Woodbury College's *

BACKTALK

Stay Cool with our Summer Menu!

UNJUST DESSERTS:

• Marinated Grilled Vegetable Plate A Grilled Sirloin Steak served over oven-roasted tomato sauce with chili onion rings

WINE NOT?

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At Woodbury College, you can gain the skill to make a difference . . . in your community and in the world.

FALL

EVENTS!

Tickets for t h e Hops 1995 Fall events go on sale Tuesday, September 12

PREVENTION & COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM

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Cassandra Wilson Jazz, blues and folk 4 Dartmouth College Glee Club 11 Barbary Coast Jazz Ensemble Tribute to Julius Hemphill 12 T h e Operas f r o m Terezin The Emperor from Atlantis and Brundibar 14- 19 Dartmouth Department of D r a m a Romeo and Juliet 14 W o r l d Music Percussion Ensemble 15 D a r t m o u t h College C h a m b e r Singers A Concert for the Occasion 18 D a r t m o u t h College Gospel C h o i r 18 D a r t m o u t h Symphony Orchestra 21 D a r t m o u t h W i n d Symphony 27 Sally Pinkas Piano solos by Beethoven and Rochberg 28 Handel Society Celebration for the Season

Frederica von Stade

SEPTEMBER 20 Frederica von Stade Internationally renowned mezzo-soprano 23 Saffire — T h e Uppity Blues W o m e n Acoustic blues trio 27 T h e H a l G a r p e r T r i o w i t h Special Guest Jerry Bergonzi 29-30 San Francisco M i m e Troupe Escape to Cyberia Electrifying, musical political comedy

Mark Morris

OCTOBER 7

Robin Hirsch Kinderszenen: Scenes from Childhood 9-10 M a r k Morris Dance G r o u p World's most musical choreographer 12 The Master Musicians of Jajouka Bewitching music alive with primal energies 14 G u i l l e r m o G o m e z - P e n a Performance art exploring issues of identity 15 C h a m b e r W o r k s w i t h Diane H e f f n e r Free admission 16 G u i t a r S u m m i t Four guitar superpowers 19 Ursula Oppens Contemporary and traditional piano 21 Fall Fling Dartmouth's own a cappella artists 26 T h e Lydian String Q u a r t e t 29 C h a m b e r W o r k s w i t h The Westminister Quartet Free admission

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DECEMBER 8

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Fall Term begins September 19 page

DARTMOUTH TICKETS

ROUTLY

Nothing worse than being forced to drive to South Burlington for a magazine that should be available downtown. But even Barnes & Noble ran out of the New Republic last week on account of its cover story: an expose on the "crunchy capitalism" of ice cream entrepreneurs Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield. Titled "The Evil Empire," the story promised some pretty deep dishing. But the scoops were skimpy: Will readers be outraged to learn the new chief Bob Holland was recruited by head hunters, not poets? That in its effort to help "Amazonian forest peoples," the company accidentally assisted a band of Portuguese rubber tappers? Worse still that Ben and Jerry screwed some guy out of a couple thousand pumpkins pies. Ironies, maybe, but nothing "evil." Even the untimely death of Jerry Garcia came off like a crunchy plot to sell more ice cream. Harsh toke.

Try our Summer entrees, featuring:

PREVENTION PROGRAM helps you make a difference in the world

BY PAULA

COLLEGE

603.646.2422

• HANOVER,

MC, VISA, AMEX,

SEVEH

The next best thing to a double latte at Muddy Waters? A full-bodied Australian Merlot. By the end of September — or whenever it gets a new walk-in — the coolest coffeehouse in town will be adding alcohol to its blackboard list of beverages. "Eurocafe is the term we keep hearing," says Carrie MacKillopp. "Instead of going into a smoky bar for a Budweisfcr, you can come in and chill with a cheese plate and a glass of wine." Promise, no chicken wings.

IN BRIEF:

Old journalists never die. They pop up in People magazine. Former Vermont reporter Steve Rosenfeld landed on the contents page of People last week — one of a mass of mourning Deadheads at the Jerry Garcia Memorial in San Francisco. Holding a microphone amongst a mass of fawning followers, he looked pretty damn objective...Former Freeps freelancer Scott Sutherland is the new arts editor of the Casco Bay Weekly. Sutherland has been living in Maine since his wife, Amy Killinger, got a job with the daily Portland Press Herald. It will be tougher now for Sutherland to pull off those big New York Times articles. The last one was a treatise on Phish, which recently moved its management to Burlington. The office location is top secret — we're not telling — but enterprising Phish fans will find it soon enough.

HARMONIC DIVERGENCE:

Tom Philion does not rush home to Mahler after a long day at the orchestra. The pony-tailed director of the Vermont Symphony Orchestra packs it up and jams. Since winter, he has been "germinating" a vocal project with Andy Green and Patti Casey — "trio harmonies and stuff" is as sound-specific as he'll get. City Market will host the coming-out gig at the end of the month. The band name? North Union. Wonder if the city will sue? A C T T W O : Steinbeck or Corn Flakes? Rusty Dewees has studied both. But given the choice this summer, the" red-headed actor wisely chose "Lennie" over breakfast cereal. Best known for his portrayal of a colorful French-Canadian logger in the David Budbill play Judevine, Dewees has also appeared in the Vermontmade films Ethan Frome and Where the Rivers Flow North. Of Mice and Men may not be typical summer fare, but its a downer worth doing thanks to the collective talents of director Bob Ringer and actors Clyde Holt, Gil Rood and George Woodard. Even the dog is well directed. Drift on over to Champlain College Saturday night...Speaking of rare appearances, Gal is back — with a whole new show about sex, death and taxes. As usual /• 0< the outrageous comedienne has fashioned herself a wild new outfit — this one looks like a cross between a corset and a climbing harness. Otherwise she is looking very, well, Dietrich. See for yourself next weekend at Burlington City Hall. •

DISCOVER

DAYS

s eptembe r

6 ,

1995

12 COURSES WE'D HOST LIKE TO TAKE if

e have a tradition here at Seven Days, a back-toschool ritual as heady as the smell of fresh chalk, as insistent as its squeak across a blackboard. Which is strange, because who still uses chalk? What's a blackboard? Strange, too, because Seven Days is but a few heartbeats old. Still, it's a newspaper where tradition runs deep. Which means that the moment college catalogs are distributed, we rush across Vermont campuses and pore over the course descriptions, selecting the classes we wish we could take if only we weren't busy getting out our first paper. So, the rest of you, forget about degree requirements and that slog across campus in the deep snow to sit in the back of an overheated classroom. Forget about tests. There will never be a test! What follows are 12 courses offered by local colleges that we think sound fun and enlightening. All course titles and quoted descriptions are real; the rest is open to interpretation. First, let me note several classes that didn't quite make our list. Could be good, could be hell.

only we had the time

need to enter the federal witness protection program. This is something not to be sneezed at, unless, of course, you happen to be allergic to pollen. Torts is the legal term for the broad range of civil wrongs; also small pies, usually filled with fruit. In "Toxic Torts" you'll learn how to bake tasty pastries that pack a wallop, perhaps to serve to pesticide pushers and lobbyists. Bring your own rolling pin. You're playing hardball now.

A N I M A L CARE AND RESTRAINT (Vermont Technical College)

When little Timmy said, "Lassie, get help!" he wasn't

office affairs where, once your co-workers hear about it, they check you out every morning to see if you're wearing your own socks.

REFUGEE VOICES (Goddard College)

This course considers where voices go when they flee their owners. In particular, students will consider the case studies of Bill Clinton and Bernie Sanders, both known for frequent attacks of laryngitis. Sanders' voice has been located in a Buddhist community of cloistered monks, and Clinton's was overheard in Paris, where it

By P. Felix the Cat, hangs out with the cognoscenti in Rome and Paris, hobnobbing, smoking Gauloises down to his nicotinestained paws. And why? Ail to determine what the hell the sonnet form has to do with the continuation of the species. If you had to put your money on the survival of the fittest, whom would you pick — Darwin? Or Emily Dickinson? I think it's a grudge match, and my money's on Amherst.

FRONT OFFICE O P E R A T I O N S (Champlain College, HSP 310)

How often are we called upon to perform surgery in our own

McManamy

a boy/girl? "Gene splicing in the development of biological weaponry" will also be explored. Scary.

THE ART OF CREATIVE NON-FICTION (Church Street Center) The instructor will teach you how to tell lies about your past and lies about other people you know. The catalog reads: "As the boundaries between fiction and non-fiction soften and blur, creative non-fiction has emerged as a respected literary genre." Yep. Respected by whom — Oliver North? Mommie dearest, can you hear the clacking of my keyboard? Can you feel the ache of my carpal tunnel syndrome?

SOIL M E C H A N I C S (UVM, CE 108)

You'll study those brave mechanics of the soil, the earthworms and ants, and investigate their workdays and what they do to relax. Exciting field trips in your own backyard are just about guaranteed.

N U R S I N G THEORY (UVM, G R N U 310)

This course will examine sick theories, such as, "If You Tap It Lightly With a Hammer It Will Loosen;" "In the Unlikely Event of a Water Landing Your Seat Cushion May Be Used as a Flotation Device;" and Newt Gingrich's "Contract 'With' America." Participants will then judiciously and calmly restore these sick theories to health. Not for the squeamish, but there will be rewards in the afterlife.

W H O A M I? THE M Y E R S BRIGGS TYPE I N D I C A T O R (Church Street Center)

I don't know if I want Myers and Briggs working together to determine my type. If I don't know who I am, how do Myers and Briggs? They don't know. Well, Myers might. But not Briggs. Definitely not Briggs.

W H O WAS JESUS? (CHRISTOLOGY)

H Y P E R ART

(St. Michaels College, 212)

Again I ask: If they don't know the answer, why are they teaching the course? And isn't "Jesus Christology" a swear?

MEAT F A B R I C A T I O N (Vermont Culinary Institute)

This course teaches "the identification and fabrication of meat." Intriguing, I know. It's just that it doesn't tell you what it's fabricated from. Finally — oh, ye studentsof-life-to-be — check out these courses for the fell of 1995.

kidding about a whimpering need for psychotherapy This is a class that teaches boundaries right off, because when you're surrounded by dogs and bunnies with their limpid gaze, you might just flat-out forget to take care of your own needs. You know the old saying: "Give a dog a bone and he eats for a day — but if you teach a dog to open a can opener, he'll eat all the food in the house."

P R O F E S S I O N A L AFFAIRS A N D ETHICS

TOXIC TORTS

(UVM Graduate School, 364)

(Vermont Law School)

I've never conducted an affair professionally. I'm more of an amateur, a let's-wing-it kind of gal. But I'm happy to proceed discreetly with one of those

To work in environmental law means you have clients that are trees and plants. As a rule they rarely lie under oath and don't September

Finn

^9,9, 5

sought refuge renting itself out to a mime convention.

WOMEN & PIANOS (UVM Continuing Ed., MUS 115)

Finally, an explanation for that Jane Campion movie, one we can all live with. Plus some practice getting on and off the baby grand so we can sing a torch song without showing our underpants. Participants must wear comfortable clothing and be prepared to argue feminism and film theory.

D A R W I N A M O N G THE POETS: M O N K E Y S , CATS A N D BLACK HOLES (Middlebury, EL 314)

Charles Darwin, disguised as Tarzan/Jane's chimpanzee pal Cheetah and, later? jposing as

SEVEN DAYS

offices, alongside the receptionist's desk with all the phones ringing and nothing to open a chest with but a letter opener? No clamps or sutures, just an old stapler and a roll of Scotch tape. Take this class and learn the myriad uses for a pink "while you were out" slip. Type some blood, please. Take a litter, Ms. Jones. And learn what crises the receptionist's been handling while you were out. Front office operations are cheaper than emergency-room visits and are accepted by most HMOs.

KEY ISSUES IN GENETIC E N G I N E E R I N G

(Goddard College) This is — I'm just so excited! — art that literally and figuratively jumps off the walls! I can't wait for you to see it! Now, wait a second, where's my key to the studio? Oh, I found it. No wait, that's part of the exhibit, no, stop, don't go through there, it's not a door, it's painted on, it only looks like a door. No, it's okay. We'll clean that up tomorrow. Wheeee — look at all that wet paint!

See you at registration. •

(Middlebury BI120)

Here's one of those key issues: Do we want a boy or a girl? Or p a,g e 7

BURLINGTON FUTON COMPANY 11™ OPEN SUNDAYS

ANNIVERSARY

SALE

Foamcore 7 " Futon and Frame

WEDNESDAY

A N N E ' S BAND (ftink, blues), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. No cover. CHANNEL TWO DUB BAND (reggae), Club Toast, 9 p.m. No cover. EAST COAST MUSCLE (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. WOMEN'S NIGHT, Last Elm Cafe, 6 p.m. Donations. OPEN MIKE, Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover. JIMMY VEE (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. BREAKAWAY (bluegrass), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2.

Converts from Couch to Bed to Chaise Lounge

$179

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THURSDAY AUSTIN LOUNGE LIZARDS, COOL BEANS (bluegrass), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $8. BABY'S NICKEL BAG, VIPER HOUSE (acid jazz, funk, soul), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. CITY FOLK (folk), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 9 p.m. $6. GORDON STONE TRIO (bluegrass), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. EAST COAST MUSCLE (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Halvorson's, 10 p.m. $2. OPEN MIKE, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. No cover. JIMMY VEE (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover.

STOREWIDE SAVINGS

M A D E LOCALLY • FACTORY OUTL Please call for a free brochure

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3 8 8 Pine Street, (next to the Cheese Outlet), Burlington Store Hours: Monday 9-8, Tuesday-Friday 9-6, Saturday 10-5, Sunday 12-5

Janice Perry

GAL in

"DEVIL WITH A BLUE DRESS' Burlington City Hall Saturday, September 16 8:00 PM

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Design & Typesetting Desktop Publishing

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T O L O G O DESIGN, BROCHURES A N D N E W S L E T T E R S , W E W I L L T A K E Y O U R J O B F R O M INITIAL C O N C E P T T O F I N A L P R I N T E D PIECE

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TUESDAY

P A R I M A JAZZ BAND, ParimaThai Restaurant, 8 p.m. N o cover. SNEAKERS JAZZ B A N D , Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. HAT (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No covdr. VIBRO KINGS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover.

FROM FORMS & RESUMES,

COPY

MONDAY

PORK TORNADO, DUDE OF LIFE, J WILLIS PRATT (funk, rock), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $5. SPILL, ENVY, SLEEPCRUSH (alt rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. HAT (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE with Rik Palieri, Java Blues, 7 p.m. Donations.

KANGtL

HERITAGE

SLUSH, 6L6, SWANK (hardcore), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $5. DAVE KELLER (blues), City Market, 11 a.m. No cover. MEG & ROBYN (acoustic) Williston Coffeehouse, 10 a.m. No cover. RUSS FLANIGAN (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover.

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SATURDAY

THE HATTERS, UNCLE JUICE (groove rock), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $8. THE CUTS (rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. CHUCK BRODSKY (folk), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 9 p.m. $6. LISTLESS, JEREMY BITLER, DALE FAHRINGER (folk), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. THE MIX (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, Breakwater's Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. J I M M Y VEE (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover.

Sponsored by Burlington Women's Council. Tickets $14 - $16. Available at BWC, City Hall, or Peace and Justice, 21 Church St. Information: 865-7200

FRIDAY

M U R A L I CORYELL (blues, soul), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. H I P L O C K , NECRODESTRUCTICON, THIN LIZARD DAWN, TIZZY (hardcore), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $5. ERICA WHEELER (folk), Burlington Coffeehouse, 9 p.m. $6. TABLE WINE (folk), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. THE MIX (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. THE DOGCATCHERS (rock), Breakwater's Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. GIDEON FREUDMAN (folk), Williston Coffehouse, 8 p.m. $6. JIMMY VEE (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover.

aka

Gpmmon

O U T OF THE S H A D O W Murali Coryell (son of Larry) puts the passion back in soul and blues on his debut CD, Eyes Wide Open. See — and feel—for yourself when he performs Friday at Metronome.

802'864'8525J

WEDNESDAY

ANNE'S BAND (funk, soul), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. CHANNEL TWO DUB BAND (reggae), 9 p.m. No cover. FREEFALL (rock), Nectars, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. WOMEN'S NIGHT, Last Elm Cafe, 6 p.m. Donations. OPEN MIKE, Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover. THE ADAMS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. BANJO DAN & THE MID-NITE PLOWBOYS (bluegrass), Sneaker's, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. club

listings

compiled

BAND NAME OF THE WEEK: SEVEN DAYS

by Nicole

merle

Curvin

hagatha

September

1995

• advice

By:

JAMES

KOCHALKA

CD O 0 3

Pol&ton

"Welcome to

Seven

Days! SUPERSTAR

(Dot 7, CD) — James Kochalka, who names both his comic books and his recordings after himself, is in possession of one of the most original musical minds around. Inventing frothy, sing-songy melodies and pseudo-simpleton lyrics comes as naturally to him as peeing, or getting a hard-on — both of which are topics of these briefer-than-Jockey-shorts tunes. He says his dad did it, so blame it on genetics. But did dad sing about brains popping out of an errant driver's head ("Hot Dog Hot Rod Rider")? About fucking a circus animal ("10 Cents a Show")? Kochalka's strained, off-key vocals can be grating, and some of his stuff is selfindulgent dreck. But all is forgiven in the end: Kochalka is as inventive, playful, and mischievous as a fouryear-old, and he manages to make egocentrism lovable most of the time. He may even be, as he suggests, wildly talented. The 34, uh, songs on JKS include bits from previous local units Jazzin' Hell, 50 Hot Lester and JKS Burlington All-Stars, but the current anthemic production with Philistines, Jr. is priceless. And who else puts out a CD with an 18-page comic book?

D Y S F U N K S H U N , HOME

Pamela

ON THE

We wish you the best of luck.

- A ADVANCE Advance Music Centre 75 Maple Street Burlington, VT 05401 863-8652 in VT 8 0 0 - 6 6 0 - 8 6 5 2

RANGE

(Good Citizen Records) — Faux black stylin' from white guys has a long history, and Burlington's DysFunkShun continues the tradition — on high-test. Their metal-funk-rapcore is fueled by testosterone and the amphetamine-rock power of drummer Troy Pudvah, bassist Ben Dunham and guitarist Richard Bailey. Strains of Zeppelin, Chili Peppers and Beasties. Language that would make Tipper faint. Marc Daniels, lead rapper, barks articulate — if not always decipherable — socio-political messages at woodpecker speed, abetted at times by Bailey's equally adept staccato. In Home on the Range, the band's first CD, DysFunkShun generally capitulates to a youthful, wrathful noise at frontal-attack rpm. This is not a bad thing — in fact DysFunkShun totally rips. But the ska-tinged "Get Out of Babylon" is cool — a perfect showcase of the band's hybrid style — and the percussive jam of "North Street: 3 a.m." is sophisticated white-heat. Homes brief flirtations with snakier grooves suggest the band is beginning to mature, to give itself— and its listeners — room to breathe. This is a good thing.

wnmofoSfta (802) 229-0449

a fine selection of recorded music from aroundthe-world on compact discs and cassettes. the knowledge and expertise to help you find the hard-to-find. quick turn-around on special orders at no extra charge, blank audio and video tapes (VHS, VHS-C, 8mm, Hi-8). P^

wild, weird, wacky, wicked and just plain funny cards.

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LIZARD LICKS

You've got to love a band with a tune called "Gingrich the Newt," written to defend the reputation of amphibians, or the self-deprecating "Life is Hardest When You're Dumb." (And this ^ from former law students.) Millions of folk and bluegrass fens do love the Austin Lounge Lizards, a whacked, impeccable group of pickers from, of course, Austin, Texas. Following unprecedented commercial airplay of their album, Small Minds, the band is venting its smartass satire-grass — spoofing mentors from Frank Zappa to Flatt & Scruggs — on innocent audiences nationwide. You may never get another chance to hegr an Appalachian version o f ' 7 0 s rock, so get thee to Toast this Thursday. Fellow Texans Cool Beans open

S e p t e m b e r

6 ,

1 9 9 5

sponsored by

—

106JW1ZN

kids

SINGLE PARENTS NETWORK: Single parents and their children gather for community and discussion. Middle School, S. Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-6613. PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Terrible 'BUSINESSES & NONPROFIT twos or teens? Get support for parentPARTNERSHIPS': Your skills in busi- ' ing while your kids play next door. ness and marketing could help the Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800community. City and United Way 639-4014. leaders share success stories at a meeting of Vermont Businesses for Social e t c . Responsibility. TGF Technologies, 130 STEP-UP FOR WOMEN: See S. Willard St., Burlington, 3-4:30 p.m. September 6, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 655-4300. TOURISM ROUNDTABLE: SISTER CITY MEETING: The Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle is Middle East is the subject of a threejoined by reps from the Visitors way meeting of the BurlingtonBureau and the Vermont Sports Bethlehem-Arad Sister City Project. Council at a future-oriented economic Upcoming events and bylaws are on discussion sponsored by the the agenda. First Floor Conference Downtown Burlington Development Room, Burlington City Hall, 7:30 Association. Burlington Boathouse, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 863-4848. a.m. Free. Register, 863-1175. GERMAN CLUB MEETING: NATURAL RESOURCE LECTURE: German speakers meet for coffee, beer, Lawrence Bembry of the U.S. Bureau kuchen and plauderabend. German of Land Management speaks on "The Club, Burlington, 7 p.m. Info, 862U.S. Forest Service and Affirmative 3100. Action Compliance." 104 Aiken Center, UVM, 12:15 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2005. N.O.W. MEETING: Riled up about reproductive rights, racism and the E.R.A? Central Vermonters organize a m u s i c new chapter of the National Organization for Women. Montpelier BANJO DAN: The perennial folk figCity Hall, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 223ure hosts an evening of lively bluegrass 4383. on the green. Community Center in CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: Jericho, 7 p.m. $7. Info, 899-3324. People with cancer and their families t h e a t e r enjoy support based on the work of the National Wellness Communities. AUDITIONS: See September 6. Cancer Wellness Center, Chace Mill, 'DANCING AT LUGHNASA': This Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, elegiac play, set in post-Industrial 865-3434. Revolution Ireland, looks in on the allTOASTMASTERS MEETING: female Mundy family. Unadilla Develop your communication and Theatre, E. Calais, 8 p.m. $10. Info, leadership skills at a regular 456-8968. gathering of this outspoken club. Ramada Inn, S. w c rda Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, POETRY READING: Frank Anthony, 862-6142. editor of The Anthology of New England Writers, reads his "new-form" verse at

Wednesday d a n c e

CONTACT IMPROV: Gravity plays a crucial role in this kinetic free-for-all. Dancers gather at Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. $1. Info, 660-0866.

t h e a t e r AUDITIONS: Lyric Theatre is looking for wannabe performers for its fall production of The Music Man. Brush up on your singing, dancing and reading skills an hour before auditions start. Hauke Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington. 8 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2420. 'SCHMOOZE FEST: Seeking comfort among thespians? The Greater Burlington Theater Arts Exchange hosts its annual schmooze fest after a membership meeting. Rock Point School, Burlington, 5:15-7 p.m. $8. Info, 660-9080. 'SCHOOL FOR WIVES': Two hundred years ago, Moliere was onto the sexual revolution. The comedy is current at Unadilla Theatre, E. Calais, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 456-8968.

fhursday

e t c . STEP-UP FOR WOMEN: Is a nontraditional skilled trade in your future? Learn about a comprehensive training program at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 865-7181.

t h e a t e r

friday

'SCHOOL FOR WIVES': See September 6, $12.50. AUDITIONS: See September 6.

m u s i c MUSIC CRUISE: Float your boat with Belizbeha on a musical cruise catered by Sneakers. Leaving from the King Street Ferry Dock, Burlington, 8 p.m. $20. Info, 863- 5966.

kids 'MOSTLY MOZART' CONCERT: The Klimowski Ensemble plays two Mozart quartets and a solo violin sonata by J.S. Bach. Bryan Art Gallery, Jeffersonville, 8 p.m. $14. Reservations, 644-5100. CHERYL WHEELER: Lisa McCormack opens for the singer-songwriter described as a combo of Mary Chapin-Carpenter and Tracy Chapman. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 8 p.m. $14. Info, 7289133.

e t c . BUSINESS MEETING: How do you keep employees involved in a company as it grows? Vermont Business for Social Responsibility leads a discussion group at Hallam Associates, 550 Hinesburg Rd. Suite 300, S. Burlington, 8-9 a.m. Free. Info, 655-4300. ART LECTURE: Hood Museum curator Barbara MacAdam talks about the Arts and Crafts Movement in connection with the opening of the national exhibit, "In the Arts and LOCAL MOTION:

VERMONT STAGE C O M P A N Y presents

S H A K E S P E A R E

A 1*11:01: O F MY HI:ART

~ The War of the Roses ~ 'The Mmaecfimi

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M e T R O N O M e

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Barre Opera House September 9 at 8 p.m.

New & Used Clothing for men and women. We Buy, Trade & Sell Widest Selection Lowest Prices Levis • Gap Vintage • Leather Jewelry • Military Wear & More

An evening of one-act plays directed, performed & designed entirely by students.

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C l u b

selections from Richard II, Henry IV & V

Hilarious Roman farce used as the basis of Shakespeare's The Comedy of Errors.

Meg

Cottam and other artists move northeast Saturday to fete Catamount Arts. The little arts organization that could turns 20 with a birthday bash that lasts all day.

Subscribe to all four events for as little as $15.00 per person. The story of six American women in Vietnam during the war.

crds

PLANETARIUM SHOW: How do you explain "heaven" to kids? Transport them to the Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. $4.50. Reservations, 878-8687.

yXMTHEATRE-T 1995-96 Season

'IT'S N O T MY FAULT': Beach Conger, wacky country doctor and author of Bag Balm and Duct Tape, reads and signs his latest literary work. Move over, James Herriott. Chassman &C Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

jik wise en

Serious cookware - Frivolous gifts 9 6 State Street - Suite 2

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Montpelier — 9:00.

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DAYS

s eptembe r

6 ,

1995

Crafts Style." Mill Street Gallery, Frog Hollow, Middlebury, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 388-3177. WOODBURY COLLEGE INTRO: Check out free intro sessions in paralegal, mediation, prevention and community development. Woodbury College, Montpelier, 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Free. Register, 800-639-6039. ARTIST LECTURE: Painter Stuart Diamond shows slides of his internationally-exhibited work. Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 635-2727. O U T R I G H T SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual and "questioning" youth are invited to an ongoing support group meeting. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9677. SENIOR SWIM: Folks over 50 exercise in an 86-degree pool. YMCA, Burlington, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9622.

Saturday music

theater 'SCHOOL FOR WIVES': See September 6, $12.50. 'OF MICE & MEN': Rusty Dewees and Clyde Holt star in this Steinbeck story of two drifters in pursuit of a dream. Staged by Woodchuck Theatre Company. Hauke Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 2 & 8 p.m. $7. Info, 244-7112. CABARET SHAKESPEARE: Expect rowdy Renaissance fun in the outdoor amphitheater at Grunberg Haus, Waterbury, 8 p.m. $6. Reservations, 244-7726. 'THE WAR OF THE ROSES': A trio of actors from the Vermont Stage Company performs Shakespearean selections from Richard II, Henry IV and Henry V. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 476-8188. AUDITIONS: Theatre Factory is seeking adult actors for an October production of War of the Worlds. Interested players meet at Mann Hall Auditorium, Trinity College, Burlington, 4-6 p.m. Free. Info, 8722738.

'CHAMBER MUSICALE': Mixed ensembles make classical music at a birthday celebration for Catamount Arts. Steven and Bonnie Klimowski, Elizabeth Metcalfe, Marilyn Johnson and the Westminster Quartet perform. South Congregational Church, St. Johnsbury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600. 'SINGER-SONGWRITER SUMMIT': Party with Rachel Bissex, James Mee, Dick McCormack, Patti Casey and other folk fans of Catamount Arts. Grace United Methodist Church, St. Johnsbury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600.

dance BALLROOM DANCE: Is your idea of dancing cheek-to-check? Fox trot, waltz or swing over to S. Burlington Middle School, 8 p.m. $12 per couple. Info, 862-0190. 'DANCE GALLIMAUFRY': Local movers Patty Smith, Meg Cottam and Janet Warner-Ashley combine kinetic forces to celebrate the 20th birthday of Catamount Arts. Fuller Hall, St. Johnsbury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 7482600.

Hall Park, 8:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9803. ARTISTS SESSION: Artists and photographers get a new angle on their art with help from a live model. 150 Elm St., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-5253.

etc. 'DUCK RACE': The new rescue facility in Richmond benefits when you buy a "duck" to compete for cash in a launched race down the Winooski River. The Highland Weavers perform. Volunteers Green, Richmond, 4-7 p.m. $3 per duck. The groundbreaking for the new building starts at 3:30 p.m. Info, 434- 4181. ARTS CELEBRATION: Catamount Arts is celebrating its 20th with an allday open house. Art and craft demonstrations, mime shows and a complete screening of the Charlie Chaplin film Limelight — the first film ever shown at Catamount — are part of the festivities. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600. ROAD RACE: The fifth annual TriCity five kilometer race benefits the Winooski Youth Development Commission. Champlain M'H> Winooski, 10 a.m. $10. Info, 655-9477. FARMERS MARKET: Revel in the glories of the garden — plus crafts and baked goods — at Burlington City

kids STORY TIME: Kids over three listen up at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

sunday music

C D & RECORD CONVENTION: Dealers from across New England sell discs for your listening pleasure. Ramada Inn, S. Burlington, 11 a.m. 5 p.m. $2. Info, 862-5363.

theater 'DANCING AT LUGHNASA': See September 7, $12.50. AUDITIONS: See September 9. ONE ACT PLAYS: Looking for double-duty drama? With Answers, playwright Tom Topor explores the psychology of power, corruption and justice in a police interrogation room. Tongues, by Sam Shepard and Joe Chaikin, is a Zen-beat piece about living in the moment. 135 Pearl, Burlington, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 863-2343. BREAD & PUPPET THEATER Enjoy a "cruelty-free" circus — with cardboard animals. Bread & Puppet Farm, Glover, 4 p.m. $5. Info, 525-3031.

College, Colchester, 1-5 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. GALLERY TALK: Susan Crile talk about her of paintings inspired by the destructive fires in Kuwait. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 4:30 p.m. " Free. Info, 388-3711 ext. 5007.

monday

music OPEN REHEARSAL: The award-winning women of the Champlain Echoes welcome your vocal chords at their harmonious rehearsal. Knights of Columbus Hall, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703.

k i d s STORYTIMES: Kids three-and-a-half to five hear stories at the South Burlington Library at 9:30 a.m. Younger youngsters get their time at 10:30 a.m. Those four through six listen up at 3:30 p.m. Free. Info and registration, 658-9010.

etc. BUSINESS TOUR: Vermont Businesses for Social Responsibility hosts a tour-and a talk on creating supplies for natural resource-based businesses. Vermont Butter and Cheese, Websterville, 4:45-6:15 p.m. $7. Register, 655-4300. HUMAN RIGHTS WRITE-IN: Make a dictator your pen pal and save a life through Amnesty International. All materials are provided at the Unitarian Church, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4838.

to do list 1•

T O U R D E F O R C E : Is the tourist replacing the tractor as slow-moving symbol of economic viability in Vermont? Local leaders — including Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle compare notes Thursday in a post-guv, pre-peeper discussion sponsored by the Downtown Burlington Development Association. Bring your tote bag.

2 * DOCTOR, DOCTOR: It's easy to think ill of doctors, given how much they charge to make you wait. But country medicine is a different story, according to Vermont authorphysician Beach Conger. His first book, Bag Balm and Duct Tape, now has a sequel. Office hours are Friday at Chassman and Bern.

3 * F I R E P O W E R : Not many art shows devote themselves to the subject of war — least of all recent battles. But with her vast canvases of smoking Kuwait, painter Susan Crile picks up where "Guernica" leaves off. She talks about art as ammo in a Sunday gallery talk introducing her work at the Middlebury College Museum of Art.

crds

READING GROUP MEETING: Readers discuss My Antonia, by Willa Cather, with other bibliophiles. Book Rack, Winooski, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231.

etc. AIDS QUILTING BEE: Have you lost a loved one to AIDS? Prepare a panel for the Names Project, heading this way in November. Costume Shop, McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's

tuesday kid S

PARENTS : See September 7. STORY TIME: Hear a story, then act out some aspect of it. Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

continued

on page

4 » AD O U T : She helped snuff out Joe Camel, and would probably cook for Kate Moss if the wonderwaif were willing. Jean Kilbourne — writer, filmmaker, media critic —- makes the connection between advertising, addiction and anorexia in a Wednesdaylecture at St. Mikes. The consumer-crusader may even have a few words for Calvin Klein.

the Studio Store FEEL

GOOD

Wellness Directory page 2 6

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1995

p a g e

Quality Artist Materials at Discounted Prices FREE GOLDEN ACRYLICS WORKSHOP 10/23/95,1:30 pm Please call for reservations All Golden Products DISCOUNTED 40% for the month of October The Studio Store, located next to Vt. Studio Center, Pearl Street. Johnson 802-635-2203.1-800-887-2203 OPEN: Wed. thru Sat. 10 am - 6 pm

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a freedom production two one act plays

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 8 $321+ $518-20 SAJURDAY

THE HATTERS

SEPTEMBER?

SLUSH 6L6 SWANK

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 10 $5 ALL AGES

UNCLE JUICE

thursdays: deejay cRAIG mlTCHELL 21+/NO COVER £ a r i c l a y s

H1P10CK NECRODESTRUCTICON THIN LIZARD DAWN TIZZY

STRAIGHT DOPE IS LEGAL.

Fine Artist's Materials

$8 TICKETS

DUDE O F LIFE MONDAY PORK T O R N A D O SEPTEMBER 11 1J WILLIS PRATT $5 All 18+ MOON BOOT LOVER WIDE WAIL

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 14 $5 ALL 18+

OMINOUS SEAPODS NIPETAY

FR1DAY SEPTEMBER 15 S5 A L L 1 8 +

CHIN HOI/DYSFUNKSHUN SEPT 16 TUSCADREOmJLYCRAFT/SKYLAB SEPT 17 GOO STREET WINE/SUNFLOWER SEPT 18 JULIANA HATFIELD/W1DE WAIL SEPT 19 FROM GOOD HOMES/JACKOPIERCE SEPT 20 EKOOSTIC HOOKAH/YEP! SEPT 23 DREAD ZEPPELIN SEPT 25 MACEO PARKER SEPT 28

AIR'

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SEVEN

DAYS

at: 1 3 5 p e a r l s t . sept. 1 0 . U 1 2 8=00 p . m . $ 6 at d o o r

price includes a drink Rachael Beddoe • Michael Evans Marc La Chapelle • Dennis McSorley Bob Meijers • Paul Schnabel . page 15

continued

from page 15

•Blr

STORY H O U R : Kids between three and five are entertained by stories and related activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc. S T E P - U P F O R W O M E N : See September 6, 3:30-5:30 p.m. HAWK TALK: Where do hawks hang out in Vermont? Get the avian details at the Birds of Vermont Museum, Huntington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info. 434-2167. H O M E HEALTH F O R KIDS: Molly Fleming conducts a "tea and wisdom" lecture under the auspices of the Onion River Co-op. Burlington Food Shelf, 7 p.m. $3. Info, 863-3659. PASSENGER RAIL W O R K S H O P : Can Vermont emulate the European success with passenger rail service? Planner David Sellars explores the parallels at Warren Town Hall, 8 p.m. Free. Register, 496-5545.

©Wednesday music 'BALKAN VOICES': A 14-member troupe from Bulgaria presents traditional singing and dancing from the Balkans. Dibden Center for the Arts, Johnson State College, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 635-2356 ext. 476.

etc. 'DEADLY PERSUASION': Jeanne Kilbourne illustrates the evils of advertising with a slide lecture. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. M E N ' S HEALTH P R O J E C T F O R U M : Gay and bisexual men find

'Ot/Sf/fef September 8 & 9 C a t a m o u nt s 20\l

Birthdai)

C O M P U T E R LITERACY:* Tuesdays* September 12 - October 17, 6:30-8 p.m. 5 Grandview Dr., Barre. $60. Register, 229-6202. Woman Centered helps you learn and practice word processing and spreadsheet use with George Bernier of Community Action.

MICE GUY: Rusty Dewees stars in the classic drifter

drama,

AFRO-CUBAN DANCE: September 12, 13, 14. Tuesday 6-8 p.m. & Wednesday 7-9 p.m. at Edmunds School, Burlington. Thursday 10 a.m. noon at the Capitol City Grange, Montpelier. $12. Info, 985-3665. Shake your thing with instructor Richard Gonzalez. MODERN/JAZZ DANCE: Slow/intermediate adults, Tuesdays 78:30 p.m. Intermediate/advanced adults, Wednesdays. 6:30-8 p.m. Olympiad, S. Burlington, $9. Info, 985-5216.

out "What's the Deal with Oral Sex?" Community Room, Fletcher Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2437. S E N I O R G A T H E R I N G : Elders meet for coffee and conversation. Wheeler School, Burlington, 8:15-10:15 a.m. Free. Info, 865-0360.

Submissionsforcalendar, clubs and art listings are due In writing on the Thursday before publication. SEVEN D A Y S reserves the right

to edit for space and style. Send to:

Padma Gordon teaches the moves; the Jeh Kulu Drum Ensemble sets the pace.

SEVEN D A Y S , P.O. Box 1164,

Jon Gailmor

0 0 6 OBEDIENCE SHOW HANDLING CLASS: Mondays, September 11 October 23, 8-9 p.m., Williston Armory, $40 for the series. Register, 425-4007. Lorie Crain teaches ring procedure and patterns.

DRUMMING

AFRO-IN; __.CE: Tuesdays 5:30-7 p.m. Him ' ~ Hall. $8. Info, 453-4490. Sflll! Anna Consalvo teaches an AfroCaribbean-style class with live drumming. AFRICAN DANCE: Mondays & Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington. $8. Info,

Burlington, V! 05402-1164.

BEGINNING TAIKO: Tuesdays, 5 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington. Thursdays 5:30 p.m. Hubbard Park, Montpelier. $8. Info, 658-0658. Learn Japanese festival drumming from Stuart Paton. VlMING: Mondays, 89 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Thursdays in Montpelier. $12. Info, 658-0658. Stuart Paton teaches skin-on-skin techniques.

noohji Tfec Olympiad, 7 0 Farrell St., S, Burlington. $5. These exercise games are welcoming to even "those of us who are hardly in shape."

HERBS HERB W O R K S H O P : Wednesday September 6, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Phoenix Herbals, Burlington. $15. Register, 223-6742. Suzanna Bliss teaches "Herbal Survival for Parents of School Kids" — easy ways to treat colds, lice, pink eye and ear infections.

SPIRIT COURSE IN MIRACLES': Thursdays, 6-8 p.m. 129 Franklin St., Winooski, Donations. Info, 660-4878. Gather with other seekers of spiritual wisdom and psychological insight. C O M M U N I T Y CIRCLE: Sundays, 10-11:30 a.m. Awakening Center, Shelburne. $3-10. Info, 985-2346. Practice meditative method of spiritual nourishment.

YOGA YOGA: Daily. Burlington Yoga Studio, 174 Main St., Burlington. Info, 658YOGA. Classes in Iyengar, Kripalu, Bikram and Kundalini yoga.

Or fax $02-865-1015.

Aerobics Water Fitness Yoga Prenatal Exercise Senior Fitness

Please support our advertisers. SHOP so we don't flop.

A b o u t T h time C a f e

Call for our Fall Brochure

Celebration

September 30

Info, 767-9273. Jacky Gabe teaches movement from within.

O f Mice

and Men. Directed by Bob Ringer — the founder of Vermont Repertory Theater — the play winds up a statewide tour Saturday at Champlain College.

p.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. $8. Info, 985-3665. Learn traditional dances of Cuba, Haiti and Brazil accompanied by live drumming. A U T H E N T I C MOVEMENT: Every other Friday evening, September 22 -

C a s u a l D i n i n g in a COZLJ A t m o s p h e r e w i t h a n I n t e r n a t i o n a l

E 7

Flavor

C a p p u c c i n o • Espresso • S w e e t Treats D i n e in o r C a r r i j

October 1.4

Out

H o u r s : M - F 7 a m - 7 : 3 0 pm, S a t . 9 a m - 3 pm

Uakti

November 3 & 4

YMCA • 266 College Street 862-9622

40-42

State Street, Montpelier

223-0427

Vermont Festival of Mew M u s i c

November 18 T k e Terezin Project: B r u n d i b ar & Tie

Lmperor

of Atlantis

December 9

goodCITIZEN 'Zine M goodCITIZEN SupplyStore

T h e Little Prince

January 13 A n a t o l e Wieck &

Carmen

Rodriquez-Peralta

January 27 African American Dance Ensemble

February 10 Inca S u n

February 17 C r e m o n a A r t s Trio

March 16 Iqnat Solzhenitsijn

April 12

MISSION: Acknowledge and Support Vermont Music Advertising & Promotion through: Photography Graphic Design Band Stories Music Reviews Profiles & Columns by Area Music Writers

Limon Dance C o .

April 19 A m e s P i a n o O u a rtet

8 0 0 - 8 0 5 - 5 5 5 9

page

T-shirts, Compilation CDs & coming soon... Video: Good Citizen Volume One Release Party 1996 Photo Calendar Postcards & Posters of Vt Musicians

OUT NOW I goodCITIZEN: Soundtrack to the'Zirie, Volume One 2. Chin Hoi...Exhaust COMING SOON DysFunkShun... Home on the Range

(Besure to stay tuned for the goodCITIZEN Radio Hour})

Thank You For Supporting Vermont Musicians & Artists PIM99

to.

Mil or Write: P.O. Box5373.

SEVEH

DAYS

Burlington.

VT 05402/802-865-2719.

864-0093.

FAX:

802-664-0150

s eptembe r

1995

September

1995

SEVEN DAYS

p a g e

^ Huge Selection of Fine Wine and Gourmet • Beer.

c a f e / b i s t r o

10% discounts on mixed cases • of wine.

29 Church Street • Burlington • 802-865-4400

5% discounts on mix and match six-packs. 20 Church St. Burlington

Imports

Peace & Justice Store 2nd Annual

Cat Pride Festival

Handcrafted Jewelry

658-4626

• Saturday September • ! 16th 10am-3pm *

d ^ Z f " * * 1 •ilffSf f S l i W W WmlM^mlm

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Information 863-8326 Providing a socially responsible marketplace supporting the work of the Peace & Justice Center

Wax

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Hip-Hop • Freeweights • Funk • Machines • Step • Hi/Lo Aerobics • Slide • D J Workouts

great tunes, great atmosphere

29 Church St., Miller's Landmark, Burlington SEVEN DAYS i I js. y H 4 * -

660-B0DY September t t- > « ('

6 , 1995 • : ' -i > : I U l

FOOD

The Pies Have It Is pizza a student's best friend? One very picky critic rates the home-delivered variety

f you were to pile up all the pizza sold in Burlington in just one month, you'd probably have a wobbly tower taller than any of the city's buildings. Were the tower to topple into Lake Champlain, the resulting tidal wave of grease hurtling toward the Adirondack^ would pose an environmental hazard of magnificent proportions. You get the point. We Americans — including Vermonters — eat tons of this stuff. Why? Ostensibly because it is relatively cheap and convenient. Cooking for ourselves is something a lot of us can't, won't or don't have time to do, and pizza is just a phone call away. And it's everywhere: A quick flip through the Yellow Pages reveals more than two dozen pizza joints in the Burlington area alone. After tasting the offerings from nine local pizzerias that deliver into Burlington, however, I suspect that the real reasons we order it are sloth and blind habit. It only seems inexpensive to call out for pizza if you're literalminded about money; $8 for dreck is still $8 too much. As a professional chef, I'm well aware of the formidable challenges that come with cooking and serving food — let alone trying to please people — and I offer kudos to those who get it right. Last week, when the staff of Seven Days and I ordered pizzas to the downtown office, our standards were simple enough. Yet only four of nine pies met most of them. The first thing we noted was telephone manners. These ranged from friendly and

knowledgeable to merely competent to downright rude. The next factor was delivery time. We thought that half an hour was reasonable, but a few took closer to 45 minutes. Other factors on the delivery end included ability of the driver to find us without getting lost (one found "corner of Church and Cherry, downtown Burlington" daunting), driver manners and even packaging. I was particularly impressed with

the deft manner in which some drivers unzipped the sporty little thermal jackets used to keep the pizzas piping hot, but we decided not to count that. %„ We ordered a "small" pizza from everyone in the Burlington area that delivers. We learned that some places call their smallest pizza "medium," which we found confusing. We requested that each pie be half-vegetarian and half "the works," and left that up to the pizza makers' imaginations. This seemed a fair way to assess how each place deals with meat and meatless pizzas, as well as special requests.

There Are So Many Flavors to Crave at Ben & Jerry's® Vermont's Finest Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurtr City Center • 89 Main Street Montpelier • 223-5530

When the savory pies arrived, the first thing we checked for was a good crust. The importance of crust to pizza cannot be overstated, since that's the basis of the whole thing. The word pizza, after all, derives from the Greek word pitta — the flat bread found in Greece and the Middle East. A pizza with pleasing toppings but a wet, gummy, greasy or bland crust makes for some awful chow.

Part of the challenge here is presented by the relatively low temperatures of American gas or electric pizza ovens, about 55QE By contrast, ovens in the birthplace of pizza — Naples, Italy — are wood-fired and made of brick. Their extreme temperatures, in excess of 700F., make for a crisp pie in under two minutes. (For a good approximation of this lighter, more truly Italian-style pizza, check out Burlington's Sweet Tomatoes on Church Street, where $8 and change will get you a crispy, 12-inch pie that's satisfying without requiring an investment in stretch pants.)

Of the pizzas we tried, the only ones with crisp bottoms, good textures and more-thanbland flavors were Pizza Hut, Leonardo's and Kalin's. As for toppings, we expected that most pizzerias would have very similar takes on "the works." We were right — that usually meant pepperoni, ham and sausage. Two unwelcome surprises were bacon on the pie from Manhattan Pizza and "mystery-meat" shavings on the pie from Junior's. We were surprised, though, by the stultifying level of conformity among the vegetarian pizzas. Only three showed any sensitivity to the boundless creative potential of vegetables. Kalin's and Mr. Mike's did a reasonably good job, but the winner was Leonardo's — easily the best-looking and freshesttasting pizza in town. (Out of 12 choices, we went for Nicole's Greek Island with spinach and feta cheese.) The rest featured a scattering of crudely chopped, unevenly cooked, uninteresting vegetables. Pizza Hut and Little Caesar's actually used canned mushrooms. Junior's included thumb-sized chunks of raw broccoli, stems and all. In the cheese department, Kalin's and Leonardo's tasted the freshest and were in best proportion to the rest of the pie. Little Caesar's was heavy with cheese and, like Domino's, tasted cheap. Ditto for the sauce.At the end of our taste-athon, we ranked the delivered pizzas overall. In descending order, here goes.

Irving

Shelby

Smith

u Leonardo's Pizza, 83 Pearl St., Burlington, 862-7700. Open 11 a.m.-midnight. Price: $12. Speed: 28 minutes. All things considered, Leonardo's was our pick as the best pie in town. The employees are informed and courteous, the pizzas creative without being far-fetched. There's obvious care taken to balance flavors, colors and textures. Generous portions, lots of veggie options, choice of whole wheat or white crust. Well worth the premium price. We also liked the nifty little foldout menu tucked into the box.

2. Kalin's Italian Gardens, 191 Pearl St., Burlington, 8636300. Open 5 p.m.-midnight. Price: $11.88. Speed: 27 minutes. Fresh-tasting, with that handmade, cared-for appeal. Good crust and sauce, some skill with vegetables. People are friendly on the phone and the owner, Michael Kalin, even delivers some nights. UVM students may recognize him as^Jif guy at the Espresso Express cart over the last four years.

3Mr. Mike's, 206 Main St., Burlington, 864-0072. Open 11:30 a.m.-midnight. Price: ^ ^ $10.75. Speed: 45 minutes. Burlington's equivalent of a good New York slice. Good use of garlic and a flavorful sausage with fennel. Toppings could be

Continued

on page 25

The Savoy Theater welcomes Seven Days. Here is our exciting fall line-up! Friday, September 8 - Thursday, September 21 6:30 & 8:30 "Larry Clark's KIDS is an important movie tliat crackles with the raw power of disturbing truth...After seeing it, all but a few Hollywood films about teenagers will strike you as moronic fluff." - The Boston Globe o o Friday, September 22 - Thursday, September 28,6:30 & 8:30

Tom DiCillo's LIVING IN OBLIVION with Steve Buscemi Friday, September 29 - Thursday, October 5,6:30 & 8:40 Friday, October 6 - Thursday, October 12,8:50 Only

Luis Bunuel's classic BELLE DE JOUR with Catherine Deneuve Friday, October 6 - Thursday, October 12,6:30 Only

Todd Haynes' SAFE with Julianne Moore Friday, October 13 - Thursday, October 26,6:30 & 8:30

Edward Burns' romantic comedy THE BROTHERS McMULLEN

THE S A V O Y THEATER

26 Main St. Montpelier 229-0509 September

1995

SEVEN

DAYS

J . page

The Way We Were Continued

from

page

hose who attended the reunion last month came | for the simple reason that Maryknoll was an important part of our young lives. It was probably the last time we had enjoyed stability and certainty, when our lives seemed all planned out. Friendships were strong because of a common purpose. But when "the '60s" erupted, our innocent dreams crumpled like a house of cards. Not surprisingly, the reunion was a mixture of sadness and joy. Another old roommate, I learned, had died climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. Another who had left the seminary and become a surgeon was killed in a San Francisco car accident during his medical residency. The one former faculty member from our Glen Ellyn days who still lived there, a somber, conservative theology teacher, was conveniently out of town the weekend of our reunion. Too bad. Fr. Frazier had been my nemesis. As the acknowledged political activist in my class — they still joke about taking up a collection to bail me out during the 1968 Chicago Democratic convention — I had inevitably locked horns with Frazier. He had nothing but fear and disdain for the "outside world." I had fervently believed then, and still do, that that's precisely where Christ was to be found. I'll always remember the day Fr. Frazier called me into his office midway through my third and final year at Glen Ellyn. The distinguished theologian sternly told me, "Mr. Freyne, it's not a question of whether or not you have a vocation. The question is whether or not you're still a Roman Catholic." —. I guess he was right. I never fancied wearing the blinders necessary to remain an officially designated Roman Catholic. And I certainly never wanted to end up living in a big, empty building with a handful of old men who cling to the vision of a church where women are second-class and there's no such thing as gay people in the kingdom of God. Twenty-five years later the Catholic Church is a shambles. Back in the '60s, "scandalous" priests made the newspapers for getting arrested at civil rights or anti-war marches. Or being deported from some Central American dictatorship for preaching liberation theology to the peasantry. Today when a Catholic priest makes the news, it's often because he's been busted for sexually assaulting altar boys. It surely takes a lot of moxie to pass the collection plate in a church in which the priesthood has become a refuge for pedophiles. If anything, my seminary reunion got me thinking about things long ago parked on the back shelf of cognition. The "spirit of Christ," as we used to call it, still lives. Ironically, the Church is about the last place you'll find it. d

TOMS RIVERSIDE

6CC0.

GRILL

DOW on tte > V l a r t a i p f < r c e

| S} < s

if 26 Rockydale Rd. Bristol, VT

m m1 f H-i i

r ~ T n"TTT^n r r r ^ ^ i i / /if n i l Ui J H I l I L U U

453-6633

• Serving Lunch and Dinner Everyday •

•

Sunday Brunch •

K W / i

i f e ^ ii.fi It i ' M L 1

Full Service Bar with bar menu available after 9:30 p.m. weekdays and 10:00 p.m. weekends •

ii^-

J • t ) Ck'ik at

!l if

Live Entertainment on Weekends House specialties include: Jambalaya, Fresh Seafood, Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Vegetarian and Pasta Dishes. Try our smoked and barbeque dishes, too. Chef Tom Goulette and co-owners Elizabeth Ross and the Wallace family invite you to stop by and see us, just east of the Lord's Prayer Rock on the beautiful New Haven River.

u u

Take time after dining to enjoy the historical memorabilia of Bristol, or to walk by the river.

clothes for women 63 church street

See you soon!

802/860.2220

MIDDLEBURY COLLEGE CENTER FOR THE ARTS 1 9 9 5 - 1 9 % S E A S O N HIGHLIGHTS KEVIN LOCKE

MIAMI STRING QUARTET

Hoop Dancer/Storyteller/Flautist Saturday, September 23

Sunday, January 28

MARK O'CONNOR

CHAMBER MUSIC SOCIETY OF LINCOLN CENTER

Folk Fiddler Friday, September 29

DOUG VARONE AND DANCERS

David Shifrin, Artistic Director Thursday, March 21

Saturday, September 30

WESLIA WHITFIELD

BRUNDIBAR

Cabaret Singer Saturday, April 13

by Hans Krasa, performed by the Essex Children's Choir

and THE EMPEROR OF ATLANTIS by Victor Ullman both operas conducted by Robert De Cornier Sunday, October 29

A N D MANY MORE . . . For a complete listing of performances, call the Box Office, Tues.-Fri. 10-4 at 802-388-MIDD.

Burlington Community Land Trust

HOMES FOR SALE

BURLINGTON - 74 Valade Street -Large, 2-bedroom townhouse, end unit, garage, full basement, deck, super energy efficient, quiet wooded neighborhood. Appraised Value: $83,500. Land Trust Sale Price: $77,500. BURLINGTON - Lake St. Condominium - 1 -bedroom condominium right on the Burlington waterfront amazing lake views!!! The bike path and boat house are right out your front door; super energy efficient; back porch, shared garden space. Appraised Value: $82,000. Land Trust Sale Price: $75,000. WINOOSKI - 1 1 1 West St. -4-bedroom, 1 340 sq. ft., large kitchen, washer/dryer, large backyard, tool shed, gas heat, quiet family neighborhood. Appraised Value approx. $78,000. Land Trust Sale Price: $73,000 (including $10,000 second mortgage at 3%), with VHFA financing. Mortgage payments start at $458/mo. SO. BURLINGTON - Stonehedge Townhouse - Great neighborhood for kids in Orchard School District; 3 bedrooms, fireplace, carport, swimming pool, tennis courts; near park and bikepath. Appraised Value: $90,000. Land Trust Sale Price: $76,500.

vfnfa ELIGIBLE

Qualified buyers meet income guidelines & share their appreciation with future homebuyers.

Call 862-6244 (TDD) for more information.

*\m ?ays

EQUAL HOUSING LENDER

se^embe r

1995

LISTINGS i j i g l l g r 111 S i 1 1 1 i l l t f ! ® B

openings EBB & FLOW, fine craft exhibit. Frog Hollow, Burlington, 863-6458. Opening September 8. R E V I S T I N G T H E ARTS & C R A F T S S T Y L E , artifacts from a popular turn-of-the-century movement. Frog Hollow, Middlebury, 388-3177. Opening September 8. T H E F I R E S O F W A R . p a i n t i n g s of Gulf War fires by Susan Crile. Middlebury College Museum of A r t , Middlebury, 388-3711. Opens September 7. ART O F TOUCH . sculptures and collages by Rosalyn Driscoll meant to be experienced through all the senses. Middlebury College Museum of Art, Middlebury, 388-3711. Opens September 7. 20 Y E A R S , 20 A R T I S T S , an exhibition of Vermont artists in celebration of Catamount Arts' 20th anniversary. Catamount Arts, St. Johnsbury, 748-2600. September 8-9.

FURCHGOTT SOUKDIFFE

paintings by

fine art gallery

S A L § SWEETLAND Aug. 19 - Sept. 28, 1995

i I | |

Gallery Hours: M o n . - Fri. 9:30-5:30 Sat. 10:30-4:00

restoration of frames, objects & paintings

custom framing

A S E N S E O F TOUCH and T R E E , works by Rosalyn Driscoll and William Botzow, respectively. Brattleboro

SHELBURNE SHOPPING PARK • 9 8 5 - 3 8 4 8

Museum & Art Center, 257-0124. Opening September 8.

on-go

ins

by Vermont artists. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 860-4792. TRANSITION, multi-media works about Through September 16. PICASSO: MULTIPLE-STATE PRINTS, exhibition oflithographs by Pablo Picasso from the Ludwig Collection. Also, the Ormsbee Collection of Pacific Art and Artifacts. Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-0750. Through December 10. INTERNATIONAL COMPUTER ARTISTS. high-tech works curated by UVM professor Cynthia Rubin. Francis Colburn Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-2014- Through September 15. ORIGINAL ACRYLICS and PASTE L DRAW IN6S. by Jeanette Chupack and Cindy Wagner, respectively. Robert Paul Galleries, Burlington, 658-5050. Through October 8. RECENT PAINTINGS AND DRAWINGS by Marco MorafFy Alonso. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 862-9647, Through September. WEST SHORE VARIATIONS, lino prints by Roy Newton. Pickering Room, Fletcher Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through September. PUERTO CABEZAS: SISTER CITY PHOTOGRAPHS, by Dan Higgins. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through September. THE NAGASAKI SURVIVORS, by Japanese post-war photographer Tomatsu Shomei, in conjunction with the lecture series, 'The Legacy of Hiroshima and Nagasaki." McAuley Fine Arts Center, Trinity" College, Burlington, 658-0337. through October 19. IMPRESSIONISTIC MONOTYPES by Elizabeth Iliff. McAuley Arts Center, Trinity College, Burlington, 6580337. Through November. PAINTINGS by Karen Dawson. Lakeside Gallery and Art Studio, Burlington, 865-1208. Through October 15. STREAM CONSCIOUSNESS, paintings and collage by Mimi Love. St. Paul's Cathedral, Burlington, 864-0471. Through September 24. JUST ONE QUESTION. paintings by Sally Sweetland. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through September 28. POSES. PROPS AND SETTINGS, Portraits from the Collection. Also, BEST THE COUNTRY AFFORDS. Vermont Furniture 1765-1850. Also, CLOTH AT HAND, Costumes and quilts from the Collection. Also, embroidered family records, decorative needlework from the 18th and 19th centuries, hooked rugs, printmaking techniques and more. Shelburne Museum, Shelburne, 985-3346. Through October 22. REFLECTIONS ON BASIN HARBOR, annual juried show of Vermont artists. Basin Harbor Town Hall, Vergennes, 475-2311. Through September. ARCHITECTURAL DRAWINGS by Sheila McGowan. The Better Bagel, WiUiston, 879-2808. Through October. SAI L AWAY , classic and modern boating art. Four Winds Gallery, Ferrisburgh, 425-2101. Through October. MULTI MEDIA WORKS, by Robin Clements. The Pyralisk Gallery, Montpelier, 229-2337. Through September. PAINTINGS AND SCULPTURES, by Vermont artist Phyllis Goldberg. Red Mill Gallery, Johnson Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. Through September 17.EXPOSED I VERMONT SCULPTURE OUTSIDE, by 18 multi-media artists. Helen Day An Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through October 15. C L I C K A RT Anyone who's still laboring over page setup and print-out will be awed, by computer artwork now at the Francis Colburn Gallery at the University of Vermont. Curated by UVM art pro- | fessor Cynthia Rubin, who teaches electronic art, 13 pixel pushers from North America, Europe and Asia demonstrate that bit-maps can be beautiful and evocative things. "Cynthia and Richard Alter the Fall," a print of a nearly-nudetcouple by Canadian artist Greg Garvey, conveys in tile-like sections a splintered relationship. * Jacque Charbonneau's "Rolling Stones #1" resembles a dyed, enlarged slide sample —^ abstract, mysterious and vaguely primordial. Ear- more controlled and less "computer-like" are Paul Browns sinuous, Escher-like squiggles and the lovely, calH-\ graphic compositions of Annette Weintraub. The variations in style and quality s u r e s t an art form ;; that is still embryonic but, like all infanis, shows great promise

The

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For

Major Contributors: C C T A , Davis Co., Magic H a t , M a i n S t r e e t L a n d i n g & V T Railway

September

1995

SEVEN DAYS

. page

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, '

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;

EXHAUST, BY CHIN HO!, GOOD CITIZEN RECORDS

One More for the Ho W

hen I first heard Chin Ho! about three years ago at Nectar's, Pee Wee Herman was there. Well, sort of. See, vocalist Andrew Smith had thrown a Pee Wee doll into the crowd and it was being tossed gleefully around when I walked in. As Pee Wee surfaced and Smith belted out, "If I Only Had a Brain," nobody seemed to care much about what it all meant — except that it was great fun. And, perhaps, an appropriately absurd farewell to the recently-busted "Playhouse" host.

THE HO! DUDES:

Back then, Chin Ho! was performing the melodic pop/alt-rock songs from their debut tape, Drink. Amidst personnel changes on bass and guitar, the band released Recovery in 1993 and Big Crowd earlier this year. Exhaust, Chin Ho!'s latest recording — produced by the band and Joe Egan at Eclipse Studio — documents their movement toward a harder, more aggressive sound and darker lyricism. Frontman Smith, guitarist David Morency, bassist David Barnett and drummer Patrick Coyne are

Patrick Coyne, Andrew Smith, Bill Mullins,

Dave Morency,

joined on the recording by new member Bill Mullins on lead guitar and piano. The opener, "Bleed White," sets the sonic and thematic tone of the collection. Echoes of the jangly guitars of Chin Hoi's past remain, but the group's sound is now fuller and made loud to play loud. Lyrically, a feeling of existential depletion pervades. Consisting entirely of the lines, "Talk, talk, talk/It's all exhaust/It's all getting lost/It's all getting lost," the tune features a bottom-heavy bass and guitar riff that rings a bit too familiarly if you've listened to headbanger rock bands of the past decade. While not strikingly original, the playing is shrink-wrap tight, and Smith's use of vocal dynamics sustains interest. Raymond Carver once wrote that he liked short stories to have "some feeling of threat or sense of menace" in them. Nearly all the songs on Exhaust meet Dave Barnett t hat dramatic crite-

1995-96 Celebration Series

frantic vocal delivery suit the character sketch on this one. Chin Ho! has included at least one "unplugged" offering on each of their previous releases and this one is no exception. "I Regret" is an appealing pop song of the hook-laden, threeand-a-half-minute variety, with Smith backed by Mullins and Morency's strumming. "Seeing Things," a wistful, slow number about friendships and the passage of time, brings the disk to a close. Here, Mullins contributes tasteful piano and acoustic slide guitar fills reminiscent of the Stones in their country period. Listeners who enjoyed the light-hearted sensibility of Chin Hoi's early work might consider their latest imagery to be overly morbid (see "Sleeping Pill Suicide," "West Dayton Hill Road" and "The Undertakers"). But that's more a barometer of personal taste than a judgment of the recording. To my ears, the best tracks on Exhaust — "Clouds," "I Regret" and "Seeing Things," among others — are as strong as any that this talented, evolving band has produced to date. •

FROG HOLLOW V

Onion River Arts Council and the Barre Opera House

rion. The high-octane "Strong Street," for example, begins: "Last night your windows were open/They were colors I've never seen them before/I couldn't help but hear the strange sounds emanating." The observer goes on to describe a scene of physical abuse, but his response remains uncertain: "I'm not sure if I should bring this up or if I should keep my mouth shut/I don't know if I should say something/Some of the secrets of Strong Street might be better off kept." "Drive By" brims with nervous energy, and "Clouds," which echoes Pearl Jam in its baritone-tenor vocals and scorching guitar solo, also fits the "threat" and "menace" bill. A distinct sense of locale is one of Smith's admirable songwriting qualities, and Burlington's presence is felt not only on "Strong Street" (in the Old North End), but also on "Susan Upstairs." A rather colorful neighbor — she's "certified by the government" — Susan is memorialized in the song for her habits of pacing the floor above, talking to herself, and littering the neighborhood with lipstick-stained cigarettes. The careening tempo and

Underwritten by the Granite Bank

S E P T E M B E R 8 - O C T O B E R 16 A juried national exhibit celebrating multi-media crafts influenced by water.

Also Appearing: Two Operas from Terezin - November 11 The Water Tree - November 24 African American Dance Ensemble • January 26 Mark Twain on Stage February 23 Austin Lounge Lizards March 9 Jose Limon Dance Company - April 13 Tickets available at: Barre Opera House Box Office Onion River Arts Council in Montpelier, Flynn Box Office in Burlington or by calling 476-8188. STONEWARE V a s e

15" H.

Eric Brite •

P r o v i d e n c e , Rl

A nonprofit visual arts o r g a n i z a t i o n s u p p o r t i n g cTofts educaHorT . " p j n d e d in p a r ? by The"Vermont C o u n c i l O n The Arts

p-a-ge - 2 2 '

SEVEN

DAYS

September

1995

THE H0Y15 CINEMAS FILM QUIZ

REVIEW LIVING IN OBLIVION The camera lens is the real lookingglass — on one side, a wonderland of drama, beauty,flawlessness;on the other, a world quite often the opposite. Its this universe of flubbed lines, missed marks, intruding boom mikes and egos run amok which provides the setting for writer-director Tom DiCillos hilarious Living in Oblivion. The great Steve Buscemis at the Steve Buscemi: low-budget high hopes. eye of the storm here as a director whose high hopes for his low-budget feature are relentlessly dashed by a series of nickel-and-dime apocalypses. The grips too preoccupied with his own script to get the smoke machine to operate properly. A dwarf storms off the set because he resents being cast in a dream sequence. ("Do you know anyone who has ever had a dream with a dwarf in it? Even my dreams don't have dwarves in them!") And then there's the production's pretty-boy leading man who wastes everyone's time "throwing out" ideas — which, invariably, deserve just that. In this film's centerpiece performance, James Le Gros is utterly without mercy in his send-up of Brad Pitt (the pretty-boy leading man in DiCillos previous film, Johnny Suede. Intricately plotted, snazzily acted and beautifully observed, what we have here is at once a catalog of the folly, futility and pure frustration involved in making a movie, and the reason that it is — once in a while — worth every bit of the trouble.

Time for one of the most popular versions of our quiz - in which we test your powers of reconstructive thinking with an assortment of famous features for which we need the owners' famous names...

PREVIEWS TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR Wesley Sniper, Patrick Swayze and John Leguizamo star in the Priscilla-reminiscent story of three road-tripping queens who find out what a drag it is to break down in rural Nebraska. NATIONAL LAMPOONS SENIOR TRIP A class of Ohio students takes a field trip to meet the President. Sounds like an easy veto.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

SHORTS FOR MORE FILM FUN, A

REMEMBER 10 WAICH THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE BOFEO!" ON YOUR LOCAL PREVIEWGUIDE CHANNEL

O A

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK. SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495 FAX: 658-3929.

A Festival To Rival Autumns Beauty Vermont Symphony Orchestra The 1995 Made in Vermont Music Festival

The VSO tours eleven communities during 1995 peak foliage season, with music to make each evening as colorful as the day. Join Kate Tamarkin, the Orchestra, and violinist Isabella Lippi in performances which include Mozart's Violin Concerto

scale:

LISTINGS

September 22 Barre

E T H A N A L L E N -CINEMAS North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Little Princess 1, 3:20. Crimson Tide 6:40, 9:10. Nine Months 12:40, 3:05, 6:50, 9:25. Batman Forever 12:30, 3, 6:30. 9:05. While You Were Sleeping 12:50, 3:15, 7. Congo 9:20.

September 24 St. Johnsbury September 28 Middlebury September 29 Johnson September 30 Springfield October 1 Dartmouth October 5 Rutland October 6 Bennington VIOLINIST ISABELLA LIPPI

rating

September 21 Randolph

September 23 Newport

Make your plans n o w to join the VSO for its 1995- Made in Vermont Music Festival. Call the VSO at 802-864-5741 for information and tickets.

THE PROPHECY **You don't need divine powers to see the future of Christopher Walken's latest glare-a-thon (he's a rebel angel leading an overthrow of heaven): A quick death in theaters then buried for eternity on the bottom shelves of video stores everywhere. LORD OF ILLUSIONS *** Could it be Clive Barker's got more than blood, pierced body parts and, well, splattered brains on the brain? Scott Bakula stars in this story of a detective who gets sucked into the vortex of a Manson-style family, and it's a surprisingly engaging affair. DESPERADO *** Robert Rodriguez's follow-up to the shoestring breakthough, El Mariachi. The story concerns a one-man war against an evil drug lord, but the story will engage you less than the dazzling camerawork, off-the-gauge energy level and the sizzling chemistry between co-stars Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT *** Julia Roberts at long last has something to smile about. Acclaimed director Lasse Hallstrom brings us the nicely observed, snappily acted saga of a family and the crises that keep it close. A monor work in the context of the filmmaker's career — light on magic and heavy on marquee value — the picture is nonetheless refreshingly adult, and a fair portion of the dialogue is funny enough to have you distance-spitting popcorn. KIDS *****The most shocking, most important movie of the year, Larry Clark's controversial mock-documentary chronicles a day in the lives of several New York City teens and preteens. Newcomer Leo Fitzpatrick is unforgettable as Telly, a 17-year-old with sex on the brain and HIV in his blood. BABE***** George {MadMax) Miller has produced one of the wittiest, weirdest, most wonderful films you're ever likely to encounter. The story of a curious pig and his barnyard buddies, the picture combines gorgeous camerwork, laugh-out-loud comedy and landmark animatronics. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a pork product this much.

October 7 Manchester

CINEMA 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Legends of the Fall 9:10. Nobody's Fool 12:40, 3:20, 6:50, 9:20. Quick and the Dead 12:50, 3:30, 7 , 9:35, Tall Tale 1:10, 3:05, 7:20. Top Dog 1, 3:10, 7:10, 9:30. Legends of the Fall 9:10. CENTURY PLAZA Dorset Street, S. Burlington, 862-4343. Country Life 12:50, 3:10, 6:50, 9:10. Usual Suspects 1:10, 3:15, 7, 9:15. The Brothers McMullen 1:10, 3:20, 7:10, 9:20. CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610. To Wong Foo 12:50, 4:05, 6:45, 9:35. The Prophecy 12:45, 3:40, 7:10, 10:05. Dangerous Minds 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10. Something to Talk About 12:30, 4:05, 7, 9:55. Waterworfd 12:50, 3:50 (Mon-Fri only), 6:30, 9:50. Apollo 1312:35,

—

^ ^ ^

*****

3:35, 6:35, 9:40. Amazing Panda Adventure 4, (Sat-Sun onlv). Desperado 1, 4 (Mon-Fri only), 6:55, 9:45. Lord of Illusions 12:30, 3:30 (MonFri only) 6:40, 9:40. Babe: The Gallant Pig 3:30 (Sat-Sun only). Indian in the Cupboard 12:40, 3:50 (Sat-Sun only). The Net 12:35 (Mon-Fri only), 3:55, 6:50, 9:45. S H O W C A S E C I N E M A S Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. Apollo 13 12:45, 3:35, 6:30. 9:20. Lord of Illusions 6:55, 9:40. The Prophecy 1, 4, 7:10, 9:35. Pocahontas (Sat-Sun only) 12:55, 3:50, 6:50 (Monday-Thursday onlv)- Desperado 6:50 (Fri-Sun only), 9:45. Waterworld 3:45, 9:25. Something to Talk About 1:15, 7:05. Babe: The Gallant Pig 12:35, 4:05 (Sat-Sun only), 7:15 (Mon-Thur only) N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Kids 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50, 10. National Lampoon's Senior Trip 1, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:45. The Tie That Binds 2:40, 5, 7:15, 9:30. Mortal Kombat 1:40, 4, 6:30, 8:45. Walk in the Clouds 2, 4:20, 6:45, 9. Magic in the Water 2:20, 4:40. Beyond Rangoon 7, 9:15. THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509.

Vermont Symphony Orchestra • Kate' Tamarkin, Music Director

s e p.t.e m bje r.

6„ n .1,9,9.5

5EVEN DAYS

PAge^.3,

clude this week's message with the wisdom of a bumper stick- factured, in Bern, Switzerland in June 1819. 5) You, Scorpio, er I saw in Texas: "The secret of success is sincerity. Once you aglow with smoldering radiance in your new power spot in September 1995. can fake that you've got it made." SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Most of us use a mere 5 L€0 (July 23-Aug. 22): We go now to ourfinancialcorrepercent of our total brainpower, preferring to devote the spondent, Guru Tiffany, for an update on your progress in BY ROB BRLZSNY remaining 95 percent to the storage of things like old song making ends meet. Tiff: "Well, Rob, I'm sorry to report the ARICS (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Maharishi Mahesh Yogi brags that lyrics and memories of the mean things ex-lovers did to us. I latest ABC/Wall Street Journal Poll shows that only 12 perwhen his teams of meditators set up shop in any given town, am pleased to report, however, that ever since your quantum cent of all Leos have gotten aromatherapy for their credit they can lower the crime rate, improve the weather and put leap of faith youve been drawing juice from a full 12 percent cares, as you've suggested. And a mere 9 percent have witheveryone in a better mood. I haven't seen the data, but I firm- drawn all their filthy lucre from the bank and washed it with of your gray matter — with no letdown in sight. Can you ly believe it's possible. When a bunch of people all relax and keep it up? Doubtful. Eventually, the Five-Percent Majority no-phosphate Eco-Suds in a bronze Tibetan bowl blessed by concentrate on a single theme at the same time, you've got the the Dalai Lama, as you've also prescribed. Apparently, very will probably drag you back down to its level. But while makings of a major magic spell. In fact, what do you say we you're up there at the superhuman level, you just may be able few Leos have yet to take your suggestion that they purify harness the power of group meditation for your benefit this to solve riddles that have plagued you all your life. their money karma with slapstick rituals." week? On September 9 at 3 p.m. EDT, lets all focus on the CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The poet Rilke captured my VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I implore you not to alphabetize following words for exactlyfiveminutes: JOB JOY FOR feelings about your imminent future when he siad, "I want to the spices in the cupboard this week. I beg you not to wash ARIES. beg you to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your and polish your bottlecap collection or read the VCR instrucTAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): "Dear Rob "BigTalker" Brezsny: heart and to try to love the questions themselves." In other tion book from cover to cover or count the cracks in the sideFrom now on, I'm calling you Mr. Empty Promises. You keep walk as you take a perfecdy-timed 22-minute walk. Your cur- words, Capricorn, you're welcome to be a know-it-all the hinting around that paradise is just around the corner, and it other 51 weeks of the year, but this week I strongly urge you rent surplus of good karma, rowdy chutzpah and incredibly never comes. I'm tired of getting my hopes built up for noth- precise luck is too valuable to channel into projects like that. to trust nothing but the gray areas and the mysteries. The ing. — Faithless Taurus. Dear Faithless: My glowing predicfewer conclusions you jump to, the smarter you'll be. On bended knee, I'm pleading with you to seek out instead tions always assume you're going to do the hard work to adventures that make your knees wobbly, your heartbeat flut- AQUARIUS: (Jan.20-Feb. 18): I thank you in advance for make them come true. Before you dismiss me as a hype-meis- tery and your mouth absolutely speechless. sharing, Aquarius. I feel sure you're going to want to share ter, you should ask yourself if laziness and passivity are saboyour brains out during the upcoming tete-a-tetes and heartLIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct.22): In this, the hour of your discourtaging your opportunites. Having said that, however, I must to-hearts. Need I refresh your memory about how many legal agement, I'd like to share an insight my therapist gave me report that the week ahead is an exception to the rule. You highs tend to flow your way whenever you help underaehievrecently. It's easy, she said, to love people for their wonderful won't have to lift a finger to collect a host of blessings. ers subdue their demons? Need I risk being vulgar to remind qualities and the excitement you feel when you're with them. G€MINI (May 21-June 20): I'm coming to you this week you about the generous moods overachievers get into when What's tougher and more interesting is to love the way they from a place the local Mississipians call Crazy Cave. To drive disappoint you. You learn as much through disappointment, you make it possible for them to really relax their sphincter home the metaphor that I think should guide your life this after all, as you do from quenching your longings. Those who muscles? Your selfish interests are served, my catalytic and week, I will soon be rappelling down 230 feet into a yawnsymbiotic friend, by being unselfish. let you down, then, are worthy of the gratitude you'd give to ing, unlit abyss — braving claustrophobia, weird smells and PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): You're smack in the middle of your any of your best teachers. Besides, what good is your love if who knows what else. As my feet paw against the slick sides Unbirthday Season, that flippy-floppy time when you're going it's only given to those who do something nice for you? of the vertical tunnel, I'll be thinking of you, hoping that you SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Can you guess what the folto be deluged by feedback whether you like it or not. So you will be delving deeper and deeper into the pungent subtermight as well like it. In fact, you should probably encourage it lowing events have in common? 1) Sir Edmund Hillary ranean heart of your own world. and solicit it — even pay for it. To get in the mood, I recommstanding at the top of Mt. Everest in May 1953. 2) Charles CANCCR (June 21-July 22): It'll be a week rife with leaks, mend an intense session of Mirror Therapy. (Caution: If you Darwin admiring his freshly published masterwork, On the rumors and embarrassing truths. There's no telling how many Origin of Species, in London, November 1859. 3) Joan would prefer to cling pitifully to outdated self-images, please covers will be blown, short cuts revealed and hidden connecdo not try this.) Ready? Then make a date with the best mirror Anglicus, who had secretly impersonated a man all her adult tions exposed. He or she who communicates best will win you know. The only instruction you need is to gaze into your life, donning the purple robe upon being elected Pope John every game. He or she who gossips most constructively will own eyes without interruption for at least 13 minutes. VIII at the Vatican in March 853. 4) Francois-Louis Cailler, arouse the least backlash. I'm only half-joking when I con© Copyright 1995 holding his creation, the very first chocolate bar ever manu-

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1995

THE PIES HAVE IT Continued from page 19 more generous, though. Choice of white or whole wheat crust. Long wait.

Hut, 471 Riverside Ave., Burlington, 862-0222. Open 11:30 a.m.-midnight; Price: $10.46. Speed: 23 minutes. Even though the service is cold and matter-of-fact, this is as good as corporate pizza gets. Nicely composed with good ingredients except for the canned mushroms. Crust is crisp on the bottom, cheese and

meats are tasty. Not much effort on the vegetarian, though. Fastest delivery.

Manhattan Pizza and Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 6586776. Open 5-11 p.m. Price: $9.67. Speed: 28 minutes. Good crust at the pub, but the delivered version is soggy. Veggies are barely cooked, incongruent with the stewed flavors of the sauce. Bacon is weird on pizza. A good New York-style slice in-house, but the order-out variety doesn't deliver.

Good Luck to Seven Days! THE ORGANIC COW OF VERMONT

ria, 6 Roosevelt Hwy., Colchester, 655-5555. Open 11 a.m.-ll p.m. Price: $9.23. Speed: 48 minutes. The Colchester location makes quick delivery into Burlington difficult. This is a decent pie at the restaurant, but not worth the wait at home. Lee Zachary's Pizza, 1234 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 864-9817. Open 11 a.m.-lO p.m. Price: $8.29. Speed: 38 minutes. One of several outposts in the Zachary's empire. While

other places call their small pizzas medium, Zachary's means small when it says small. Our pizza was tiny, and alarmingly non-descript except for the bouffant rim of bland crust. If we'd been really hungry, we wouldn't have known whether to laugh or cry.

8. Little Caesars Pizza, 361 Shelburne Rd., Burlington, 658-9151. Open 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m. and 4 -10:45 p.m. Price: $9.17. Speed: 41 minutes. Cheap-tasting and cheeseladen, with simple, dull flavors. Canned mushrooms and sweet sauce. No redeeming features.

• h e e e h b h i e ™

Back to School Introducing Technics Digital Pianos The superb sound of an acoustic grand piano enhanced by digital technology.

The clueless driver and long wait made this a total waste.

9Domino's Pizza, 485 Colchester Ave. Burlington, 658-3333. Open 3 p.m.-l a.m. Price: $8.44. Speed: 35 minutes. Corporate pizza at its most heinous. Gives credence to the claims of prissy pizza purists that, somewhere between Naples and New Jersey, pizza took a turn for the worse and kept right on going — downhill. Greasy, salty and soggy. Even the box is hard to open. Avoid. •

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An Academic Program Offered at Burlington College

FALL 1995 COURSES Art for Life's Sake Tuesdays, Sept. 26-Nov. 13 2pm - 4pm Cathedral Square The Music Scene Thursdays, Sept. 28 - Nov. 15 2pm - 4pm Main Street Senior Center

ANIMAL

^ C R A C K E R S PET FOODS » SUPPLIES « SERVICES Creek Farm Plaza Colchester, VT 05446 878-8151 Monday-Friday 9-6, Saturday 9-5, Sunday 11-4 featuring

Cost: $80 per class For more information contact: Mary Ann Kistner, Diploma in the Arts, (802) 862-9616

Sensible Choice Lamb Meal and Rice Formula Pet Foods A Natural Recipe.. .no wheat, no corn, no dairy.

ANIMAL CRACKERS COUPON Sensible Choice Pet Food

Burlington College

Free delivery to limited areas

95 North Avenue, Burlington, VT 05401

September

1995

iiit

SEVEN

$3.00 ON 401b Bag $2.00 Off 201b Bag $1.00 Off 81b Bag DAYS

167 Main Street Burlington

658-6776

FREE DELIVERY

FREE PIZZA r

Get ^ free 12" " J

Cheese Pizza | with the | purchase of any ^ large 16" Pizza.

North

C o u n t r y (

Offer may not be • combined with any | other discount offers _

^feS^J

Used, Out of Print & Collectible

148 Cherry St. DownstairsJ 862-6413 M-Th: 9:30-5:30 Fr: 9:330-8 Su: 12-5

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