Chess Adventures

Wynter Miller

Age 9

Chess Adventures

Once, in the future, chess sets were robotic. But, the set 1,520,983 was alive, not robotic. Read on to discover the unofficial documents I have uncovered over the years by interviewing witnesses* of this strange story. But, be warned, you may not like the ending.

Calink-calank! Pound! Pound! Pound! Saw! Saw! Saw! Our strange tale begins in a factory. A special factory. Santa’s factory! Rupert, a very unintelligent, thirty-two-year-old Dwarf-Gnome Hybrid is working very hard on polishing set 1,520,982. He finished and tossed it in a bin labeled “finished,” which it was. He grabbed the next set, and then his hat that was covered in special dust from mercury fell off his head and onto the unpolished set. But he took no notice and picked up his hat. At that moment, all the dust fell slowly on the set, causing Rupert to cough very hard. His parents told him about the dusts’ special abilities. He had not heard a word. He was very unintelligent and poured all of the dust on his hat. Rupert checked his antique pocket watch that his great grandpa had given him. It was 11:58. “Time for lunch,” he hollered.

One of his many cousins and colleagues, Eliza, responded, “No, time for bed, you Dimwit!” So, Rupert angrily finished polishing the set and headed to bed.

When he pushed the door to the large wood cabin open, he was immediately covered in snowballs. Then, the room burst out laughing. Or more accurately everyone IN the room burst out laughing. And then, Rupert’s friends and family all yelled, “HAPPYBIRTHDAY!”

Rupert chuckled, “I totally forgot!” Rupert’s parents, Rupert’s little brother, Eliza, and Erica were there. He was going to have a good birthday.

His little brother, Fred, shouted, “LET’S EAT!”

Reader, several things happened at once. Fred shouted so loud, the windows broke, a volcano erupted, the candles flew out of the cake through the broken window, the lodge collapsed, several icebergs shattered as well, penguins went temporarily deaf, and Santa’s cat died. “Umm, I’d better prepare the Oopsy Conscription,” said Rupert’s father.

“Not again!” whined Fred. “I’ll be sent off to that awful boarding school.”

“I’M GOINGTOUSEIT!” said Rupert’s father. Swish! Santa’s cat came back to life, the window repaired itself, the thirty-three candles flew back on the cake and relit, iceberg chunks fused together, and the penguins heard again.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” screeched little Fred, and then magic teleported him to an obedience school.

Inside set 1,520,983, one of the pawns stood up. “Am I alright?” he thought.

“Yes, we all are,” said someone. He thought this mysterious person could read his mind. “No, I cannot read your mind. That would be awesome though.” Then, the pawn realized he had said everything aloud and chuckled.

“Well, can somebody ‘splain why we is breathin’?”

“I sawed dirt fall on us, and then we were all talkin’,” said the king.

“SPEAK OLD BRIT’SH PLEASE!” said the queen out of nowhere. “YOUR BLARNEYISGIVINGME A HEADACHE!”

“Yes, ma’am,” everyone chorused.

“Sorry to interrupt, but where is the other team?” asked the rook.

“We are right here,” said the black king.

“Good, we were starting to get bored!” said the white king. (Chess is a board game.) Everyone laughed.

Outside the box, Sarah thought she was hearing voices. Then, they stopped and were replaced by the sounds of puffins, arctic foxes, mice, reindeer, and sleeping polar bears. Of course, no one was allowed in the factory at night, but she wasn’t even allowed out of the sleeping quarters at night. “That Rupert Caldabera is lucky; he got that whole dang lodge, just for using that awful gingerbread shampoo,” she thought. She walked stealthily through the quiet factory toward Rupert’s desk. “He sure is messy,” she thought after an open can of polish decided to pour all of its contents on her boots. She was really angry. It was Christmas! No one bought her presents! She was treated like scum! And worst of all, NO ONE CARED! Then, she was hit with a wall of tiredness and walked off to bed. Her bed was made of hay. She was told it was made of feathers. It was not exactly a lie. It had been made of feathers, but they had fallen out over time. They patched it up with hay. Occasionally, she would find rogue feathers in the morning.

Rupert climbed his way up the ladder on his loft to get to bed. He loved his loft. It was soft, high up, and comforting in times of stress. Then, he climbed down and put the puffin egg in the incubator. He wondered if he had locked the door, so he jumped off the ladder, locked the door, turned on

the incubator, raced up the ladder, covered himself in quilts, and promptly fell asleep. The next morning, he was on the floor of the lodge with a broken leg. His leg being broken would not allow him to move. And he felt a peculiar pecking sensation. The puffin walked into his line of sight. He yelled, “SUNDAY! Wait! Yes, I will name you Sunday.” So he healed his leg, and was off to work. Sunday fell over and hit the ground. He was tired. He deserved it.

Five hours later, Sunday woke up. He decided to eat some krill. Then, he pecked a hole in the door and followed Rupert’s scent trail. It was faint, but Sunday followed it to the factory. He walked in and followed Rupert’s scent trail. It was getting stronger now. Sunday sniffed again and got distracted by the scent of magic coming from set 1,520,983. He walked over and sniffed it warily. And then he sneezed. It smelled weird to Sunday, so he investigated.

He stomped on it, kicked it, punted it, pecked it, punched it (to the best of his ability), karate chopped it, chewed it, sat on it (again, to the best of his ability), and he threw a hammer on it. Then, the tired puffin did something that would amaze biologists around the world. He found a wood plank, shoved a rock under it, threw the set on the opposite end, and jumped on it. In essence, he had built a catapult. A very good one, too. The set hit a spinning saw, got sliced, and fell to the ground with a loud THUNk! It lay in shambles.

Inside the set, the king asked “Everyone OK?” Everyone said yes but the rook. There he lay, sliced in half.

“Oh, the pain,” he managed to moan. Then, he died.