Road Blocks

Road Blocks

by Jazinya Joseph

My name is Kaylinn and I’m 22 years old, I live in Miami and I’m a model for Pretty & Petite Productions. But just like everyone else, I started from nothing. I’ll tell y’all about that first.

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. I never had chances to make many friends because I was always in and out of schools. My father was very abusive physically and verbally but he didn’t hit me as much as he hit my mom. When I turned 13 my mother got tired of it, of him, maybe of me too, and she left us. Like I said, I never had many friends so I didn’t tell anyone about this, I trusted my guidance counselor Ms.Tara but I knew ACS would be involved if I told her, so this was something I went through on my own. Until I got tired.

One day my father came home drunk as usual, I had stayed in the house it was a Saturday but it was raining outside. I was used to my father coming home drunk but this time he was doing way too much, he was knocking stuff off the table, screaming at the top of his lungs, then he started crying. I went and locked myself into my room because I knew he would hit me if he even saw me. I didn’t hear him for a good fifteen minutes. I thought he had fallen asleep until I heard him call my name. I didn’t respond, he started walking towards my door but it was still locked. When he realized the door was locked he started banging on the door and yelling my name, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I already knew what would’ve happened once he came through that door. I looked at my window and knew that was my only option. I left.

Now after two years I was 15 and living in a foster home in Brooklyn. I finally felt safe and comfortable which is something I’d barely felt before. Fast forward to me being 17, Ms.Tara had gotten in touch with my foster home, I haven’t spoken to her since I left because I never had a phone. She said she’d been looking for me all over. It felt so good to hear her voice and know someone still cared about me. She said once I turned 18 that I’d have to leave the home I could stay with her until I got on my feet, and so I did. It took her no time to find me some work, after just two weeks I had three jobs of short shifts so I was able to manage my time, I was so grateful. I knew

I couldn’t stay with her forever though, so I started saving up to move to Miami, and three months later I was ready.

I had to move around, in and out of motels for about three weeks when I first got to Miami then I bumped right into the perfect house! I knew I had to keep up with finances and everything, so I had to find a job. I’d always wanted to model and what better place to start up your career than Miami? So I looked up some modeling agencies and one caught my attention. Pretty & Petite Productions. I filled out the application online so I would get to them faster than being mailed. They emailed me back about five days later, it was a Thursday, they said I could come in that Saturday for auditions. I was so excited and just proud, I’d made all this happen in a matter of weeks coming from where I came from. The only way is up from here!

Come Saturday I was so ready to get to the modeling studio, I didn’t really know the area so I took a cab, Miami was so beautiful. We drove past so many flowers and trees that bloomed so perfectly, it smelled amazing. There were butterflies with one wing that swung back and forth and there were plants that grew at rapid speed. You could literally see them blooming. You could tell the bakery we drove by was so fresh and clean. When we pulled up to the studio it looked like a penthouse compared to buildings I’d seen in the city. I went upstairs and we got straight to it, I’d worn a white tank top with a plaid skirt and all white uptowns. When it was time for me to model in front of the fan I was getting cold so one of the managers, Chad, gave me the perfect top coverup to go right with my outfit. After the shoot everyone said how amazing I did and they hoped to see more of me. I hoped to see more of Chad.

Fast forward, after two weeks they got back to me and they wanted me to be one of their models and three months later my name was everywhere! I’d gotten connected with other models and been in touch with some really important people. Aside from work me and Chad were getting very close. I call Ms.Tara almost every other day, she’s the only person I still speak to from New York, she said she’ll come visit soon, I can’t wait. I want her to enjoy herself and I wanna treat her for all the times she helped me and just let me cry to her even if I didn’t tell her what was wrong.

I don’t speak about my past but I always reminisce, I just smile at the fact that I made it here. Through the abuse, doubt, shame, guilt, I’m here. I can’t wait to see what else life has in store for me.