The Least of the Apostles and Worst Sinner

Paul wrote, “For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God” (1 Corinthians 15:9). Paul was an apostle, but he put himself at the bottom of that category of leaders. A few years later, after he walks with the Lord even longer, he writes to the Ephesians leaders, “Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ” (Ephesians 3:8). As Paul is coming towards the end of his life, he writes to Timothy, “This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief” (1 Timothy 1:15).

This is the same man, that before his encounter with Jesus Christ on the Damascus road, declared that he was a Hebrew of Hebrews, a Pharisee, and concerning the Law, he was blameless (Philippians 3:4-6). The longer Paul walked with the Lord, the more he demotes himself from being the leader of the Pharisees, to the least of the apostles, to the least of the Christians, and now, he says about himself, “I’m the biggest sinner of all.”

How can this be; is Paul becoming a worse and worse person, is he sinning more and more hideously, more and more frequently, is he becoming a more and more depraved person as he walks down the road of life? Absolutely Not! We would look at Paul and say that he is one of the most devout Christians who ever lived. But Paul discovered something that anyone who decides to walk closer and closer to the Lord will learn. The closer you get to the Lord, and the more intimate you become with the Lord, the more you realize how far you are from His excellence, His holiness, His goodness and His righteousness.

Prideful people are constantly lifting themselves up and putting other people down. But the consequences of pride are written throughout the Bible. The Bible has a lot to say about pride and humility. Speaking through Moses and Aaron, God said to Pharaoh, “How long will you refuse to humble yourself before Me? Let My people go, that they may serve Me” (Exodus 10:3). Because of Pharaoh’s pride, God destroyed Pharaoh and his army! Speaking of God, the psalmist said, “For You will save the humble people, but will bring down haughty looks” (Psalm 18:27). Speaking through Micah, God said, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

The pride within humanity causes us to compare ourselves with our neighbors, friends, or other Christians. But Paul wrote, “We dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (2 Corinthians 10:12). Solomon wrote, “Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).

It’s a mistake to compare ourselves to other people, because we’re using the wrong standard to measure ourselves. When we do this we usually end up saying something like this: “Well, compared to him or her, I’m not so bad.” But when we compare our righteousness with Jesus Christ’s righteousness, when walk closer to Him, and spend more time with Him, we’ll come to realize that our actions, our attitude, motives, thought life and words, are a bunch of junk compared to His righteousness. When we compare our self with Jesus we can’t help but notice a huge difference between Him and the person that we are.

It’s hard for humans to get into our minds just how sinful we really are. It’s easy to get self-righteous and believe that there are others who are worse sinners than we are, but be careful, Jesus said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). God not only judges our actions; He also judges our motives, thoughts and words. You may have never killed anyone, but if you have ever thought about it, then you are guilty of it. Jesus said, “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment” (Matthew 5:22). The closer you get to the Lord, the more you will find yourself understanding what Paul is saying about himself, when at the end of his life, he is not saying: “I was or used to be, but “I am the worst of sinners.”

You might say, “But there are many sins I have never committed.” James answers that self-righteous statement, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it” (James 2:10). Peter said, “Lord; I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8). Isaiah admitted that he was a sinful man (Isaiah 6:5), Daniel admitted he was a sinful man (Daniel 9:5), and the Lord used these men in a mighty way. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

There’s no doubt that the consequences of some sins are greater while we’re still living on this earth, but when it comes to the sin that will keep you out of God’s heaven, we’re all equally guilty before God. All humans are natural born sinners, and we all fit into the same category as Paul as the “worst of sinners.” If we would be honest with ourselves, we would look into a mirror and say, “You’re the worst sinner I ever saw.” It’s only when a person comes to the point in their life that they understand their own sinfulness and unworthiness to enter into God’s heaven that they will seek God’s righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ. Then God can use that person for His glory.