PHILIP OSBOURNE DIARYofa
VOL. 2
THE STORY OF A SPECIAL BOY WHO
BELIEVES IN FANTASY (A LOT)
Video Games & Movies!
Math and Physics!
Comic Books & Super Heroes!
Friendship, Drama,
GRAPHIC NOVEL OF ALL TIME (ok, of today!)
NERD
If you’re a fan of Wimpy Kid, Dork Diaries, and Jedi Academy, you’ll love Diary of a Nerd!
Diary of a Nerd stars Phil, a twelve- year-old boy living in Manhattan, NY. He is a talented, self-professed nerd… an intellectual who enjoys spending his days with his friends, known as “The Ping Pong Theory.”
Things are going well for Phil when Big Mind Kill, the girl he likes, joins his trivia team just in time to fly to Hollywood and compete on America Loves Talent. But when they find out their competition is led by Phil’s teacher who hates nerds, things get complicated! It will take a little more than some help from Phil’s new imaginary friend E.T. to win the competition and get the girl!
Diary of a Nerd consists of two different diaries written by the same kid: one is the diary of a young genius, and the other is a young man in love. Phil eats, lives, and breathes pop culture…his adventures are humorous and relatable…and have already gained him a cult following around the world!
SOON TO BE A TV SERIES!
DIARYNERDBOOKS.COM
Philip Osbourne
THE Diary of Phil the
THE LIGHTS OF HOLLYWOOD
THE STORY OF A VERY SPECIAL KID WHO BELIEVES IN FANTASY
Illustrations by Roberta Procacci
I'm Phil, the nerd, the bookworm, the geek, the compulsive mathematician. If you are like me and sometimes people make fun of you, laugh it up. Who wrote the most famous bestsellers? The nerds. Who directed the biggest Hollywood blockbusters? The nerds. Who created the most advanced technology that can be only understood by its own creators? The nerds. So then, lift your heads up out of your books and smile to the world. Be proud to be a nerd like me.
I’m Phil, Phil the Nerd to my friends... and I’m proud of it!
Before I begin...
Let me introduce you to my family
Ellen Dickens
Ellen is my sister. She is a 9-year-old business genius. You got it right: she dreams about having her own fashion company. Do you think it’s normal to read financial newspapers at 9?
She is scary, believe me!
She is a little girl, but speaks just like a college graduate. She plans everything and, unlike me, looks after every detail.
She is determined and loves being our leader. She is the youngest, but that doesn’t keep her from making decisions for us all!
Don’t ask me how she does it, but she manages to plan our days top to bottom. One more thing she loves is yelling at us: “Hurry up! It’s almost tomorrow!”
Mom got famous when she designed a successful line of tongue-in-cheek t-shirts. Blogs and magazines say she’s
Mom
Dad
He got fed up working as a manager and quit. He got himself a studio away from the city where he writes stories and essays about UFOs. Just to give you an idea of what Dad is like, listen to this: He was taking me to school and, as he parked the car, I asked him if he really believed aliens existed. He answered, “UFOs do exist. Aviation doesn’t.”
Teo is a chihuahua
And my friends... the Ping Pong Theory Nicholas
Big Mind Kill
Teo is our little dog who doesn’t bark, loves reading comics on his iPad, and uses Whatsapp even though he doesn’t have fingers!
George
A hacker who looks like Chewbacca.
Nicholas is shy and hides his face under a paper bag.
She is gorgeous and a genius in mathematics. She can hypnotize anyone with a single look. She was my enemy before, but now she is part of my team: The Ping Pong Theory.
PHILIP OSBOURNE
Illustrations: ROBERTA PROCACCI FOR ABLAZE Managing Editor
RICH YOUNG Editor
KEVIN KETNER Designer RODOLFO MURAGUCHI
Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Osbourne, Philip, author.
Title: Diary of a nerd, vol. 2: the story of a special boy who believes in fantasy (a lot) / written and illustrated by Philip Osbourne.
Description: “The Thousand Lights of Hollywood.” — from cover. | Portland, OR: Ablaze Publishing, 2022. | Summary: Phil, twelve, a self-professed nerd, along with the Geek Team, take a trip to Hollywood.
Identifiers: ISBN: 978-1-950912-29-2
Subjects: LCSH Friendship—Juvenile fiction. | Diaries—Juvenile fiction. | Hollywood (Los Angeles, Calif.)—Juvenile fiction. | Humorous stories. | Graphic novels. | Comic books, strips, etc. | CYAC: Friendship—Fiction. | Diaries—Fiction. | Hollywood (Los Angeles, Calif.)—Fiction. | BISAC JUVENILE FICTION / Comics & Graphic Novels / General
Classification: LCC PZ7.7 .O766 2022 | DDC 741.5/973—dc23
To my two kids, without whom my fantasy would be a less beautiful place.
DIARY OF A NERD VOLUME 2. Published by Ablaze Publishing, 11222 SE Main St. #22906 Portland, OR 97269. Diary of a Nerd Volume 2: 2017 © Almond Enterainment. All Rights Reserved. Ablaze and its logo TM & © 2022 Ablaze, LLC. All Rights Reserved. All names, characters, events, and locales in this publication are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), events or
coincidental. No portion of this book may be reproduced by any means (digital or print) without the
permission of Ablaze Publishing except for review
Printed in Mexico. This book may be purchased for educational, business, or promotional use in bulk. For sales information, advertising opportunities and licensing email: info@ablazepublishing.com 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
places, without satiric intent is
written
purposes.
BEFORE...
by Phil Dickens a . k .a . Phil the Nerd
Yes, I’m a nerd. But, you shouldn’t picture me as one of those kids who locks himself up in his room and stares at his computer all day. Of course, I spend time doing that (a lot of time), but if you asked me: “Hey, man, do you have a life?” I would never answer: “Where can I download it?”
I’m a nerd who likes having fun and occasionally causing trouble. I love fencing (I’m an épée fencer), I love Star Wars (although the latest movies are even sadder than a clown kicked out of a circus) and sometimes I have strange visions, namely of Darth Vader or someone that looks like him who wants to give me all kinds of strange advice. Luckily, I have my amazing friends! They’re the ones who bring me back to reality. Nicholas, George and Big Mind Kill are a big part of my life and so is
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my sister Ellen, who’s always helping me solve any problems that come up. All together, we go by the name of The
Ping Pong Theory
and we take part in Mathematics competitions. My heart beats for Big Mind Kill.
I’m crazy about her. That’s why I realized something very important: I have to brush my teeth everyday, so when she gets close to me she won’t wonder if I love onions. For quite a while now, I’ve been waking up in the morning thinking about her and Pokemon. I’m still a nerd, so I tend to mix up everything I’m passionate about!
What you’re about to read is my new adventure, the story of a young nerd who believes in the power of imagination. As Albert Einstein said: “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Let the door of your imagination open and discover new worlds with me!
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CHAPTER ONE Super Nerds & Super Lies
I won’t tell any more lies. Ok, I know, I just told one! Well then, I won’t tell the truth anymore. Being honest is easy.
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THE SUPER NERD
Something is wrong!
By Phil Dickens a . k .a Phil The Nerd
Dear Diary, imagine you’re Batman
.
Imagine you’re that super cool guy with your Batmobile in your Batcave, wearing your Batsuit and fighting the most powerful Super Villains on Earth.
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with you. You’re not afraid of anything and you always get what you want.
You are Batman, the Dark Knight. You’re Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, one of the wealthiest and most powerful people in the whole world. Think about all the hi-tech equipment that Wayne Enterprises produces and it’s all yours!
You’re the coolest guy ever!
Can you imagine that?
Can you push your imagination to the limit and picture yourself engaged in an epic fight against the Joker ?
Will you be ready to repeat Batman ’s most famous words: “Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot. So my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must be a creature of the night, black, terrible...”?
Okay, then!
Dear Diary, I thought I was Batman, but when I woke up this morning, I felt a lot more like Tweety Bird, locked in a cage, and with a “puddy tat a creepin’ up on me.”
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A terrible “puddy tat” ready to get me
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PHIL, THE NERD
I'm definitely not Batman, not today especially, because I was not able to get my usual A+ at school. I feel like
Tweety Bird being chased by Sylvester The Cat.
I thought I was Batman, but I was more like Tweety
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October 7th
Everyone always expects the best of me and I always expect the best of myself. I should just relax a little, or at least try to, but I can’t because I’m totally obsessed with my grades. In my mind, they’re like green, sharp-toothed, little monsters, like the ones in the Zombie Tsunami game. To me, grades are terrible creatures that are always chasing me.
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In my nightmares, I’m running away from them while they shout: “Do you want a good grade? Let us hug you!”
Is that crazy?
It’s hard to feel happy when everyone is always expecting you to get straight A’s. The only one who doesn’t expect anything of me is Dad, because the only thing that he’s concerned about is when the aliens are going to land on our planet.
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