Building My House -Young Adult Student Manual (Curriculum Preview) by ABSTI

Character Development Equipping young adults for Relationships, Marriage, and Sex

Acknowledgments Editing by Darryl K. Auberry Michelle Shirley Marckdaline St. Fort PowerPoint by Aquil Roberts Curriculum design and review Darryl K. Auberry Michelle Shirley Marckdaline St. Fort

About the Author Widely known throughout the counties of Miami-Dade and Broward, Darryl K. Auberry has touched and significantly changed thousands of young lives with the message of sexual abstinence. Mr. Auberry decided to give up a life of promiscuity after he realized that his decisions had caused his whole life to drastically turn upside-down. Like most teenagers who make decisions based on their feelings, which results in emptiness and brokenness, Mr. Auberry knew he needed an extreme makeover. He acknowledges that his heavenly Father allowed him to meet a carpenter who specialized in rebuilding houses—in Mr. Auberry’s case—his life. This life changing experience allowed him to not only change his decisions, but propelled him to change the lives of others by educating youth and young adults about the real dangers of engaging in sexual behaviors outside of marriage. Since 2002, Mr. Auberry has educated over 200,000 students with the message of sexual abstinence. He has traveled throughout the nation conducting parent and teen summits. Mr. Auberry is currently the pastor of One Body in Christ in Love church. He is happily married to Tawanda Auberry for over 15 years, and has three daughters and one son.

Table of Contents Knowledge 101 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Introduction: The History of Building My House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Stage 1

The Blueprint: Understanding Character and Sexual Abstinence . . . 3

Extreme Makeover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Scenarios to Think . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Sex Identifies You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Developing Character | Two Visions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Character Establishes Standards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Door to Your Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Abstinence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Your Decisions (A to Z) .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Stage 2

The Foundation: Your Value Revealed

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Value . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Rules & Regulations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 In the House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Private Area | Committed Marriage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Boyfriends & Girlfriends vs. Husband & Wife . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

Stage 3

Building: Four Stages to a Relationship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

3 Areas of the Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Dating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Isolation | Comfort . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Sex . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Healthy Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

Stage 4

The Sex Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

Heart of the Sex Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Emotional Damage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alcohol & Drugs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sexually Transmitted Diseases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Unplanned Pregnancies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . HIV | AIDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Stage 5

32 33 34 35 40 42

Protect Your House: Your Alarm System . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

D2D . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 A.T.E. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Building My House with Rules & Regulations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

References

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Knowledge 101 Listening brings _______________. ____________ brings ___________. ___________ puts you in a position

to make a wise ___________.

Pre-THINK…. The objective of this program is to get you to start thinking before making decisions! Decisions are made out of words; words are seeds; and, seeds produce a harvest. So, think about what you want to grow in your life. THINK… THINK… THINK… THINK… THINK… THINK…

THINK!!! 1

MANDATORY: READ THIS SECTION BEFORE YOU CONTINUE!!!

The History of Building My House One day, I went to work with my brother-in-law who is a carpenter. As I pulled up to the job site, I looked at a house that appeared beautiful on the outside. As I entered the door, to my amazement, my brother-in-law had fully gutted the house. Everything that was in the house was removed, and all that was left was just the frame of the house. Then, he took me into a room where the dry wall was removed and I could see that the wooden beam structure used to uphold the framework of the house had beams that were completely rotten and unstable! My brother-in-law wanted me to help him to reinforce the frame of the house with new beams which would take several months to complete. We completed the work successfully and the house looked absolutely beautiful—not only on the outside but the inside as well. During the months that I worked with my brother-in-law, I noticed some pictures of the house before it was restructured. I was perplexed because the house did not seem to need any work at all! The house had white marble floors and the color scheme was royal blue. While looking at the pictures, I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why would anyone want to go through so much trouble to gut the structure of such a beautiful home to put it back together again?” Most people would have moved into this once beautiful home in the condition that it was in because of it’s beauty, not knowing that the internal structure of the house was rotten. Surprisingly enough, if the beams were not replaced, the house would have been unbalanced and hazardous. To the common person who does not know much about houses, such rotten beams can go unnoticed until, perhaps, a person decides they would like to sell the house. Then, only during the inspection process would the true condition of the house be revealed. In addition, finding out such important information, after so many years, could cost a person a great deal of money and aggravation. After several years of working with Abstinence Between Strong Teens International, Inc., this experience came back to me. During my years of working with teens and adults, I noticed that they also enter into relationships the same way—based on external beauty without truly considering the inner structure of a person. Thus, leaving them with feelings of regret, hurt, and guilt. Often times, people who lack the knowledge needed to make the right choices usually end up feeling disappointed because the inner structure of the person they were in a relationship with was rotten with things like jealously, selfishness, immaturity, impatience and more. After a while, the relationship can cause their life to be unbalanced and full of aggravation. This is the very reason why Building My House was birthed. The Building My House curriculum is designed to equip young adults with the tools needed to understand the importance of developing a solid inner structure in the areas of relationships, marriage, and sex. Building My House will help YOU learn how to create a personal blueprint, establish a deep foundation, properly build a successful relationship, identify the truth about “The Sex Game,” and protect your house with the alarm system of knowledge. So enjoy the journey to Building YOUR House—and of course, don’t forget to THINK! 2

STAGE ONE:

THE BLUEPRINT UNDERSTANDING CHARACTER AND SEXUAL ABSTINENCE

“In order to GET something different, you have to do something different.” Darryl K. Auberry ҉

Stage 1 | The Blueprint

Most houses are very beautiful on the outside, however, the contents inside are sometimes not as appealing. In the Building My House program, we want to teach you how to become trained â&#x20AC;&#x153;specialistsâ&#x20AC;? in the area of relationships, marriage, and sex. After completion of this program, you will have the necessary tools needed to make better decisions as it relates to your body and your life.

THINK Would you purchase a house, or anything of such great value, based on how it looks? Why or why not? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

Would you date or get into a relationship with a person based on how they look on the outside? Why or why not? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

Stage 1 | The Blueprint

Unscramble the word:

The primary objective of this program is to get you to _________________!!!

What do you think? Do you believe we do a whole lot of thinking now-a-days? When most people think, do they think before or after the consequences?

SCENARIOS to make you

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s get into groups and begin challenging our cognitive thinking skills in the next four scenarios.

Scenario 1 Barbara is a respectful teenager who enjoys listening to music every chance she gets. Everyday, while heading to school and when she gets home from school, she listens to music filled with profanity. Her mother is constantly asking her how can she listen to music that is contrary to her character. Late one afternoon, Barbara and her mother had an argument which led to Barbara storming off to her room and slamming her door. Could the type of music Barbara listens to affect the way she responds to her mother? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Scenario 2 Sheli has been lying to her mother for the past 3 months. During these 3 months, she has been sneaking around to see her boyfriend, Darius. Darius is 8 years older than Sheli who is a freshman in college. He is also financially providing for her and she loves the things he buys her. However, Darius is a very jealous man who becomes very violent with her. Sheli accepts his violent behaviors towards her because of all the expensive things Darius buys for her. She also believes that this is the way he expresses his love, especially since she observed this behavior between her parents. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ 5

Stage 1 | The Blueprint

...continued

SCENARIOS to make you

Scenario 3 Jessica is a 31 year old woman, with her masters degree, and has been in a 3-year relationship with her “Boo,” Robert. Jessica desperately wants Robert to marry her. Robert has repeatedly told her that he doesn’t want to get married. However, he wants her to have his baby and says, “Marriage is just a piece of paper but I really love you. You know I’m here to stay!” __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Scenario 4 Marcus is a college student in his senior year. For the past three months, he has been dating a young lady by the name of Leslie, who is a sophomore in college. Leslie expresses how much she enjoys his company. Marcus shares that he would like to spend more time with Leslie. During their conversation, he informs Leslie that he has a 6-month old son from his last relationship which ended three months ago. Leslie was aware of the break-up, but just found out that he has a child after 3 months of dating each other. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Can you imagine connecting with someone who is immature in their thinking, emotions, beliefs, finances, and in the way that they use their body? What would be the condition of that home (life)?

THINK… You are Building YOUR House. 6

Stage 1 | The Blueprint

When you were of age to complete an applicationâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;whether it was a school application, volunteer form or a job applicationâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;you were asked to identify your gender or sex. In the same manner that you identified your sexual gender, your view of sex identifies your character. Remember that your actions are connected to who you are! The hand below identifies you in all 5 areas:

Therefore, the decisions that you make determines how you want to be identified. For example, if you are a superb student, your teachers can easily identify you as a student that is eager to learn with great discipline. However, if you are a student that always gets into trouble, your teachers (along with other students) will identify you as having behavioral problems, and a disruption to the learning environment.

THINK Do you know people at your school or in your community that are identified by their actions? ____________ If yes, how do you think such a person can change the way they are identified? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 7

Stage 1 | The Blueprint

Your Decisions When it comes to sex, most people make decisions because of

how they

_________________. The only problem is that you should __________________ have sex based off

your ________________ because they __________________.

Don't exchange thinking for feelings.

...Gave up

...Didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand

...Leads to

...instead of waiting for

When you choose not to let knowledge in, you will make decisions based off of your feelings and you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have anyone to blame but yourself.

Stage 1 | The Blueprint

Knowledge 101 Listening brings _______________. ____________ brings ___________. ___________ puts you in a position

to make a wise ___________.

KNOWLEDGE causes you to know. When you KNOW, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know when to say NO!!!

Stage 2 | The Foundation

Deeper Into The House…. Ever had someone come into your house and you suddenly realized that your bedroom door was open? What was the first thing you did? ___________________________________________________________________________ You can let someone into 3 areas of your house:

1) _____________________ represents the entry of life. When a person knocks on your door, you should begin communicating with them to gain knowledge of who they are. By gaining this knowledge, you can decide if this person meets the standards and character to enter into your house. DO NOT get blinded by the external image (the outside baggage) and lower your standards to allow someone or something into your house that you may eventually not want.

2) _____________________ represents the intimacy of life. The living room is a place where people tend to get comfortable and where friendships can develop because you have things in common. Watch yourself and remember your standards while in the living room.

3) _____________________ represents the privacy of life. When it comes to your body, you should also close the door to your private area. Your private area should only be seen by your husband or wife. Remember when your parents would say to you, “Don’t let anyone touch you on your private area. If someone does touch you, let me know.” Your parents knew that it was important for them to protect you from harm. If your parents knew the value of your body when you were younger, what would make you want to put yourself in situations now that would harm you and destroy your future? If your parents wanted to protect you, why not continue to protect your house? Do not assume that simply because you are older, it is now acceptable for someone to enter your private area. Age should never be the determining factor that allows you to expose your private area. CAN SOMEONE LACK SELF-CONTROL AND BE FAITHFUL AT THE SAME TIME? 18

Stage 2 | The Foundation

Access to Your Private Area... Let’s reflect on the questions at the bottom of page 11. Before giving anyone the key to your house (which gives them access into your private area), it is extremely necessary that you take your time in getting to know more about them. Again, if a person does not have the characteristic of self-control, it is impossible for them to understand commitment. And without commitment, there is no telling what you could be letting into your house.

THINK

Your reputation can be destroyed because of who you let into your private area. For example, your very close family members would not discuss private things about you to your friends because they understand that your business becomes your family’s business. On the other hand, this looks different in “boyfriend & girlfriend” relationships seen today. Often times, boyfriend and girlfriend relationships lead to someone getting “bonus points” for letting people know your personal business. When someone truly loves you, they do not expose you and your private business to others. Instead, they cover you and your private area is kept confidential! ...only a

committed marriage

should give access!

The only person that should have the key to your private area is someone who is connected to you by marriage. Marriage is a life-long commitment that should be taken seriously. Here are sample vows that are said in a marriage ceremony between two people that love each other who are becoming one unit: “Do you _________________ take _________________ to be your husband/wife—to live together in holy matrimony? Will you love, cherish, comfort, honor, keep him/her in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him/her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keeping yourself only to him/her as long as you both shall live?” When you say “I DO,” you are giving someone the authority to your private area and access to your life. Are you in a position to take these vows with someone and unite with them mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically? If you are not, then take this time to guard your heart and body with your actions so that you can protect your private area until marriage.

STAGE THREE:

BUILDING FOUR STAGES TO A RELATIONSHIP

“Hard work builds a successful relationship.” Darryl K. Auberry

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

Emotional Damage There are emotional consequences to sex outside of marriage. On the lines below, list some of the emotional effects of pre-marital sex and explain each one: 1) _________________________________________________ 2) _________________________________________________ 3) _________________________________________________ Emotional damage can also affect your future relationships. For instance, imagine you were bit by a dog. Would it hurt? Would you most likely have a scar? If your typical answer is “yes,” then you can attribute the same reaction to relationships. Similar to having a dog bite you, when you look at the scar from the bite mark or when you see a dog, you are constantly reminded of the incident. The same thing occurs in relationships when the person we were (are) involved with hurts or betrays us. Some young adults feel that they may never be able to trust men or women again because of the emotional scars received by giving their emotions and heart to someone who was (is) immature in the 5 points of relating (mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, and physical). Meanwhile, there are those who regret not getting what they expected from the relationship or not reaching their future goals. Statistics show that 66% percent of teens who have had sex, wish that they had waited (Albert, 2012). Don’t become another statistic. Unhealthy relationships can leave scars. Receive knowledge and take control of your future. Definition of Abuse: To treat in a harmful and offensive way. Sometimes, when young adults are in relationships where the person has already isolated them, people can get hurt. You should never be in a relationship where a person is abusive. You should share your concerns with a person you can trust, preferably a trusted and mature adult. What are three ways a person can become abusive? Explain each: 1) _________________________________________________________________________ 2) _________________________________________________________________________ 3) _________________________________________________________________________

THINK Guard your heart and always be alert. Do not allow someone to treat you as an object. For example, a bottle of water is good to quench your thirst. However, after the bottle is emptied out, it becomes trash or another item thrown into the recycling bin. We must understand that we are not something to be thrown away nor should we continue recycling the same types of relationships. You are human! People should get to know you and how you think… We are not objects to fulfill someone’s thirst. 33

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

Alcohol & Drugs What kind of effects can alcohol and drugs have on you? Explain. 1) _________________________________________________ 2) _________________________________________________ 3) _________________________________________________ 4) _________________________________________________ Alcohol chemically alters the way a person thinks. When alcohol is consumed, because it is a depressant, it slows down the central nervous system (which includes the brain and the spinal cord). Alcohol changes your mood and can have you make irrational decisions.

Remember! The purpose of this program is for you to _________________ before you act. Drug use is on the rise among young people. Alcohol and drugs can hinder you from getting employment and, therefore, stop you from reaching your goals. People who begin to take drugs at an early age, sometimes, develop habits that they are not able to break. Drugs can affect your health, education, and your relationships. After a while, you could even fail out of school because of it! Alcohol and drugs can also cause you to make decisions that you may regret for the rest of your life.

THINK Don’t waste your life. Alcohol and drugs can impair your ability to make the right decisions when it comes to sex. Don’t get a temporary fix that could affect the next ten years of your life. Practice saying, “No!”

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) ...continued Some men with gonorrhea may have no symptoms at all. However, some men have signs or symptoms that appear two to five days after infection; symptoms can take as long as 30 days to appear. Symptoms and signs include a burning sensation when urinating, or a white, yellow, or green discharge from the penis. Sometimes men with gonorrhea get painful or swollen testicles (CDC, 2014).

In women, the symptoms of gonorrhea are often mild, but most women who are infected have no symptoms. Even when a woman has symptoms, they can be so non-specific as to be mistaken for a bladder or vaginal infection. The initial symptoms and signs in women include a painful or burning sensation when urinating, increased vaginal discharge, or vaginal bleeding between periods. Women with gonorrhea are at risk of developing serious complications from the infection, regardless of the presence or severity of symptoms (CDC, 2014). Treatment: Several antibiotics can successfully cure gonorrhea in adolescents and adults. However, drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea are increasing in many areas of the world, including the United States, and successful treatment of gonorrhea is becoming more difficult. Because many people with gonorrhea also have Chlamydia, another STD, antibiotics for both infections are usually given together. Persons with gonorrhea should be tested for other STDs (CDC, 2014). It is important to take all of the medication prescribed to cure gonorrhea. Although medication will stop the infection, it will not repair any permanent damage done by the disease. People who have had gonorrhea and have been treated can get the disease again if they have sexual contact with persons infected with gonorrhea (CDC, 2014).

THINK Remember that abstinence from sexual activity is the only way to avoid contracting an STD. Ask questions and get tested if you are sexually active.

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

Unintended Pregnancies The U.S. continues to have one of the highest unintended pregnancies rate in the industrialized world (Guttmacher Institute, 2006). As a matter of fact, the younger a person starts having sex, the greater the risk of pregnancy. Almost half of all girls who have sex before age 15 will get pregnant (Suellentrop, Flanigan, & National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2002).

What are some reasons you think the U.S. has one of the highest rate of unintended pregnancy? 1) __________________________________________________________________________ 2) __________________________________________________________________________ 3) __________________________________________________________________________ List the consequences or challenges a young unmarried female may experience in finding out she will be a mother: 1) 2) 3) 4)

_________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________

List the consequences or challenges a young unmarried male may experience in finding out he will be a father: 1) 2) 3) 4)

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

HIV/AIDS HIV is the human immunodeficiency virus. It is the virus that can lead to acquired immune deficiency syndrome or AIDS (CDC, 2013). In the United States, there are nearly 50,000 new cases of HIV infections each year (CDC, 2012; AIDS, 2012). HIV damages a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body by destroying specific blood cells, called CD4+ T cells, which are crucial to helping the body fight diseases (CDC, 2013). Within a few weeks of being infected with HIV, some people develop flu-like symptoms that last for a week or two, but others have no symptoms at all. People living with HIV may appear and feel healthy for several years. However, even if they feel healthy, HIV is still affecting their bodies. All people with HIV should be seen on a regular basis by a health care provider experienced with treating HIV infection. Many people with HIV, including those who feel healthy, can benefit greatly from current medications used to treat HIV infection. These medications can limit or slow down the destruction of the immune system, improve the health of people living with HIV, and may reduce their ability to transmit HIV. Untreated early HIV infection is also associated with many diseases including cardiovascular disease, kidney disease, liver disease, and cancer. Support services are also available to many people with HIV. These services can help people cope with their diagnosis, reduce risky behavior, and find needed services (CDC, 2013). No one should become complacent about HIV and AIDS. While current medications can dramatically improve the health of people living with HIV and slow progression from HIV infection to AIDS, existing treatments need to be taken daily for the rest of a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life, need to be carefully monitored, and come with costs and potential side effects (CDC, 2013). Treatment: At this time, there is no cure for HIV infection. Despite major advances in diagnosing and treating HIV infection, in 2007 alone, there were 35,962 cases diagnosed with AIDS. In that same year, 14,110 deaths among people living with HIV were reported in the United States (CDC, 2013).

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

HIV/AIDS HIV is spread primarily by: 1) Having unprotected sex with an infected person who is at-risk (AIDS, 2014); 2) Having multiple sex partners or the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can increase the risk of infection during sex. Unprotected oral sex can also be a risk for HIV transmission, but it is a much lower risk than anal or vaginal sex (AIDS, 2014); 3) Sharing needles, syringes, rinse water, or other equipment used to prepare illicit drugs for injection (AIDS, 2014); 4) Being born to an infected motherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;HIV can be passed from mother to child during pregnancy, birth, or breast-feeding (AIDS, 2014).

YOU LOSE! As you can see, the sex game can cause your life to become full of unnecessary baggage. Your heart is symbolic of your life and just as your heart pumps blood to every part of your body, your decisions can cause unnecessary things to be added to your life. By the time you meet someone, your baggage and your spouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baggage may greatly damage the relationship, and the heart (mentally: how you think; emotionally: how you feel; spiritually: what you believe; financially: how you are established; and, physically: becoming one).

THINK Take the time to work on yourself and develop the inner structure of your house. Become friends with a person. Friends should not have the benefits of a husband or wife. Friendship is where: 1) You decide what you have in common. 2) You find out the character of the person you are dealing with. 3) You find out how this person may fit in your life.

Remember! Friendship is not the stage where you allow someone to enter into your private area even when you like how they look, how they are built, what they have or what they are giving you. Is abstinence a guarantee to a good relationship? No, but developing yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically are prerequisites to a successful relationship and strong marriage. 42

Stage 4 | The Sex Game

Knowledge 101 Listening brings _______________. ____________ brings ___________. ___________ puts you in a position

to make a wise ___________.

KNOWLEDGE causes you to know. When you KNOW, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know when to say NO!!!

STAGE FIVE:

PROTECT YOUR HOUSE

Stage 5 | Protect Your House

Decisions to Destiny Whether you like it or not, you are responsible for the decisions you make. Consider the consequences of every action that you take. Take a moment to memorize this quote, it may make a difference in how you view your life. Fill in the blanks:

â&#x20AC;&#x153;My ________________ establish my _______________. My ______________ reveals my ________________.

My ______________ says who I am and who I am determines my ____________________.â&#x20AC;?

D2D Decision to Destiny

Stage 5 | Protect Your House

Knowledge 101 Listening brings _______________. ____________ brings ___________. ___________ puts you in a position

to make a wise ___________.

KNOWLEDGE causes you to know. When you KNOW, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know when to say NO!!!

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