LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
maya pettiford
Fear is a universal emotion and often a driving force in people’s behaviors, though it is rarely talked about openly. We all carry worries with us but hide them behind a wall of smiles, schedules and distractions. Fear is seen as something to shy away from and bury far below the surface. In this issue, we discussed not only the daunting and common fears but also the ones rarely mentioned — the ones that haunt us the most.
When we chose fear as the theme, it forced me to reflect on my own. I became hyper-aware of the times it tried to hold me back. My fear of failure and the anxiety of the unknown trapped my psyche in a bubble of comfortability. I was extremely scared to take over Access Magazine as the editor-in-chief, but here I am writing this letter.
As much as I would like to say I have completely overcome my fears, that’s simply not true. This issue isn’t about conquering fear, but rather about emphasizing the ugly shadows it can cast over our lives.
On these pages, you will find stories from people in all different walks of life. It’s evident in some shape or form, that every person is fighting their own battles. I encourage everyone reading to think about the role that fear plays in your own life. What opportunities have you turned down because of it? What dreams have you tucked away?
Thank you to all of our sources who shared their fears with us and dared to be vulnerable. Our writers and contributors put their utmost effort into bringing this amazing collection of stories together. We hope that readers are able to find comfort in the fact that none of you are facing your fears alone.
ON THE COVER
Photo of Christina Lewis performing as clown Dotty Moppet
Photo by Analyn Do
u HHORRORSse
Melissa
Alejandres
Staff Writer | @mel_72a
Hellyer House, was built in the ‘50s and is considered one of the most haunted houses in San José. It is located on 553 Hellyer Avenue and is a single-story home. However, it was also home to a gruesome robbery-turned-murder involving a family of three.
Haunted houses have been around for decades, dating back to early 20th century England. It is deemed haunted by individuals because of its supposed paranormal activity that leaves people with goosebumps down their spines.
This love for haunted houses has deeply affected people’s views of the paranormal. Many thrill seekers seek scary situations that can cause death but the rush of adrenaline is what keeps them craving more.
Communication studies senior David Tonthat said he thought it was a good idea to sneak into the Hellyer house.
He said the house was supposed to be haunted “for the rest of eternity” after the murder. Due to his curiosity, he and his friends thought it was a spectacular idea to visit the house in mid October.
“The next thing you know, we hear banging on the glass and we think it’s the owner but the owner’s car wasn’t there, so who was in the house?” Tonthat said.
Tonthat knew that there wasn’t an owner because he lived down the street from Hellyer House. Shortly after, his friends wanted to leave – he left feeling secure that his suspicions of a haunting were right.
” “
I’m a huge horror nerd and if I was an actor in a horror film then I would stay in the haunted house because I love thrillers.
David Tonthat Communication Studies Senior
“I’m a huge horror nerd and if I was an actor in a horror film then I would stay in the haunted house because I love thrillers,” Tonthat said.
People that are thrill seekers often experience an influx of epinephrine otherwise known as
adrenaline, which is a hormone that helps someone react to stressful or dangerous situations.
According to Dr. Chivonna Childs the distinction of good and bad fear is centered on our perception of safety.
“We know that going through a haunted house is just for fun, it’s only people in costumes, but it still rings those bells for adrenaline, endorphins and dopamine,” Childs said. “You experience euphoria because you know you’re safe. ”
At the age of five, management information systems junior Ethan Lee went on a vacation to Cebu, Philippines where he stayed at a house where another family previously resided.
“The house had an old-time feel and smell of mildew,” Lee said. “What stood out to me the most was this funky hole that showed an attic through the ceiling.”
Lee said that he had difficulty falling asleep during the night because of a gaping hole in the ceiling. His imagination got the best of him.
“All of a sudden I heard a hissing sound then I opened my eyes,” Lee said. “What I saw wasn’t anything rational, it was a human-shaped figure dangling on the ceiling.”
Hellyer House
Photo by Jennifer Yin
Lee tried to go back to sleep but looked up at the ceiling again in pure terror.
“I saw a dark shadowy figure that had wide pale eyes and stuck its long tongue out while laughing,” Lee said.
Lee thought he was victimized by visceral dreams or sleep paralysis but remembered that he was awake and present when seeing the unknown figure. According to Stanford Healthcare, sleep paralysis can cause narcolepsy and hallucinations.
“My family woke up from my screaming. To this day, I do not have any idea what I saw but I still have memory scars about this occurrence,” Lee said.
Lee said several years later he asked his family members what they thought it could have been, but most joked around.
“My uncle said it was a Filipino folklore creature called an Aswang, which is a shapeshifting vampire that haunts children at night,” Lee said.
Aswang is an umbrella term for various shape-shifting evil creatures in Filipino folklore such as vampires, ghouls, witches, viscera suckers and transforming human beast hybrids.
Advertising junior Michelle Darst said she and her family went on the San Diego Ghosts: Gaslamp Haunted Tour in 2016 to see old houses and graveyards in the city.
Ethan Lee Management Information Systems Junior ” “
What I saw wasn’t anything rational, it was a humanshaped figure dangling on the ceiling.
“The ‘spooky’ experience means a little bit more to me than an average person would because I never had an encounter with the spiritual life,” Darst said.
Darst said she felt a dark presence around her and heavy weight on her shoulders although there was no one there, especially inside the houses.
The ghost tour made her realize that there could be more than just humans living among us and how there is more to understand about the spiritual world.
Cracking Under
P ur
Kennedy Mayo Staff Writer | @kennedymayo_
e
For many athletes, the fear of failure is a shared experience, an invisible opponent many may battle throughout their journey.
This shared struggle is not about winning or losing; it’s about the feeling of not being good enough for the sport or the people around them. This understanding can help athletes feel less isolated in their struggles, knowing they are not alone in this journey.
The pressure to perform at the highest level can come from all directions: coaches, family, teammates and more. However, athletes are often the toughest critics of themselves.
Many athletes are perfectionists and the fear of making mistakes comes with that. This fear can manifest in various ways like overthinking, avoiding risks and feeling intense pressure.
Athletes at San José State University shared their vision of what failure means to them. These diverse perspectives could potentially help other athletes and coaches cope with the fear of failure.
Business management freshman Maya Anderson, guard for the SJSU women’s basketball team, said that the fear of failure held her back throughout her career.
“I was always worried about who was watching and what they would think of me if I messed up,” Anderson said. “I was also really terrified of failing in front of the people that I care about the most like my family and friends.”
Anderson realized that she was putting too much pressure on herself to do great things for others instead of doing them for herself.
“I found the joy in playing again and that took the weight of the world off of my shoulders,” Anderson said.
Finance senior Taylor Phillips, a midfielder for the SJSU women’s soccer team, also said her high expectations affected her on the soccer field.
“I set such high expectations for myself that I want to achieve every goal and every desire that I want in life,” Phillips said. “Sometimes when I don’t reach that, like scoring the goals I want or getting the assists I want, I feel self doubt and a lot of insecurities.”
Dr. Patrick Cohn, a mental training expert at Peak Performance Sports, said the fear of failure
Illustrations by Adora Vu
I’ve learned that failure is necessary in order to grow and to move forward because when you’re a student athlete there’s no stopping you are always constantly going. ” “
Tiana Cello Marketing Senior
causes athletes to play tentatively or defensively and hinder their ability to succeed. He also provided professional strategies for coping with the fear of failure, which could benefit athletes and coaches.
“Failure is inevitable as an athlete,” marketing senior Tiana Cello, a midfielder for the SJSU women’s soccer team, said. “I’ve learned that failure is necessary in order to grow and to move forward because when you’re a student athlete, there’s no stopping. You are always constantly going.”
For athletes, fear can either challenge and motivate them or completely bring them down and hold them back. In the end, the way they deal with their fear tends to shape their journey.
Fear can be an active part of an athlete’s career and it waits to be challenged. In the face of fear, perseverance will show. Through that, an athlete can discover their strength, feel empowered and capable.
For many African Americans, the fear of being arrested is not an abstract worry. It’s an unfortunate reality resulting from a justice system that often seems to be stacked against them.
According to Time Magazine, many Black children are taught the unwritten rules of survival in a world that can stereotype them as “criminals” from a very young age.
The routine traffic stop, a seemingly ordinary event, can instantly escalate into a life-or-death situation. Research by Statista shows that Black Americans’ rate of fatal police shootings in the U.S. numbers are disproportionate in comparison to white Americans, a stark reminder of the negative implications of systemic disparities.
Among Black Americans, the rate of fatal police shootings between 2015 and Sept. 2024 stood at 6.2 per million of the population per year, while white Americans stood at 2.4 million fatal police shootings.
San José State University graduate student Jean Boyd III said he experiences fear regularly stemming from these statistics.
“I remember getting pulled over in the past and I would record and put my camera on the dashboard so you could see me and the officer in the window,” Boyd said. “So when the cop would ask me questions, I could get it on camera just in case something weird would happen.”
Not only does Boyd record for his safety, but he also records to combat feeling on-edge during police interactions.
“I definitely will be on edge when I get pulled over and have to talk to cops because so much happens in this world,” Boyd said. “It’s so crazy to me seeing and hearing all the things that happen to Black men and women.”
In addition to fear, police concerns have proven to be damaging for the Black community. A study conducted by the New York Times and polling company Morning Consult, dispatched reporters to more than 20 U.S. cities and interviewed 110 Black people about whether violent acts of police affect their mental health.
Such concerns follow the sensationalized deaths of unarmed Black civilians like Minneapolis native, Daunte Wright and Missouri local, Philando Castille, who were both shot and killed by police officers after being pulled over for traffic violations.
The study suggests that 44% of Black adults say it’s harder to get through daily tasks after learning that officers have harmed a Black person and 79% of Black parents said police violence affects their mental health.
Social studies sophomore Ava Bynes voiced her fear of police encounters at traffic stops. She is concerned not only for herself but her dad’s safety.
“I’m Black, and I feel like they already see me as someone who’s doing the wrong thing, even
Image from Adobe Stock
“ ” I’m Black, and I feel like they already see me as someone who’s doing the wrong thing, even if I’m not, and I worry for my dad.
Jean Boyd III SJSU Graduate Student
if I’m not, and I worry for my dad,” Bynes said. “He knows that they see him as an angry Black guy when he is far from that.”
In 2021, there were emergency department visits for depression that followed the police killings of unarmed African Americans according to Science Direct. However, internalized sadness hasn’t been the only response.
Forensics sophomore Bailey Moseley said her family would never put themselves in situations that could harm them, but she gets significant anxiety for herself and her dad when it comes to having encounters with the cops.
“I do fear for my dad since he is a bigger Black man; unfortunately, it’s the stereotype for a lot of Black men,” Moseley said. “It sucks that in this world, I have to worry about my dad and Black men in general because of the traumatic events that have happened between them and the police.”
Girls (WITHOUT FEAR)
Ju w na go t
Norah Sheppard Staff Writer | @notahwhyyy
The reality of being a woman comes with being afraid and on high alert when doing things that should otherwise be simple. Everyday experiences such as going to the store are convoluted by the possibility of being verbally, physically or sexually harassed.
According to the World Health Organization, approximately one in three women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual harassment. These types of assaults can affect a woman’s mental and physical health.
Harassment could escalate to worst-case scenarios. A notable example is the case of Junko Furuta, a 17-year-old girl from Japan, who was tortured for 44 days until she was murdered after rejecting a classmate.
Fear of harassment complicates the lives of many women and shapes how they live their day-to-day lives. Women that experience firsthand or hear about situations from others may cause them to become reluctant and think twice before going out and expressing themselves.
Communication studies junior Debbie Pacheco deals with the frightening reality women face. She recalls an experience when a stranger asked if he could give her a ride when going home from work.
Illustrations by Cia Castro
I had to think of places to run because I thought that this was the moment that he was going to get out of his car and get me.
Debbie Pacheco Communication Studies Junior ”
“I told him no, but he kept pushing and pulling up in front of me,” Pacheco said. “(He) sounded more upset each time. I had to think of places to run because I thought that this was the moment that he was going to get out of his car and get me.”
That is not the only time Pacheco was harassed at work. In another incident, a regular customer made an inappropriate comment towards her.
“He ordered something that required me to turn around,” Pacheco said. “When I turned back around, he leaned forward and he told me ‘I looked good.’ (He) eyed me down and insinuated that he was looking at my bottom half.”
These experiences made Pacheco more wary of her surroundings and the prospect of going out.
“I try to walk in a direction where there’s a lot of streetlights and I don’t go to my car if I know someone’s behind me,” she said. “I try to look in the reflection of the windows to check if no one’s around me before I open the car — you never know if someone is following you.”
She finds these issues difficult to discuss as she experienced criticism for speaking up.
“It’s very easy for some people to dismiss these problems because it’s not happening to them,” Pacheo said. “In high school, I was part of a women’s club (when) a guy came in and started arguing that it was all in our heads.”
Pacheo mentioned that this fear and hyper-awareness are common and universal experiences for women. According to an Office for National Statistics 2021 report, approximately “one in two women felt unsafe walking alone after dark on a quiet street near their home.”
Photography junior Regina Joseph also feels hyper-aware and has rules in place to keep herself safe.
“I choose to go on runs in the morning rather than at night because it’s so unsafe,” Joseph said. “I also try to always go out with other people or call someone while I’m walking.”
However, she still deals with unwanted advances even during the daytime.
“I get catcalled by people driving by in their cars,” Joseph said. “It makes me uncomfortable and it feels weird but it’s such a normalized thing.”
She said these instated rules have affected possible opportunities because she has set forth so many limitations during her life.
“I would love to work at night for more shifts,” she said. “But my parents are concerned about my walk home at night and so am I. So I don’t pick up night shifts anymore and it affects my availability.”
The normalization of this issue, such as her experiencing catcalling, led Joseph to feel more desensitized about facing uncomfortable situations.
“I always find it weird how normal it is and it’s kind of sad,” Joseph said. “But at this point, it’s happened so often, it’s kind of like, oh, yeah, this happened today — now what’s next?”
The daily dangers women go through is a harsh reality which is evident through statistics and stories shared by Pacheco and Joseph.
SJSU has bluelight emergency telephones for students if suspicious activity needs to be reported or if a safety escort is needed in case they feel “unsafe” walking on campus. The telephones are located inside buildings, in elevators and on campus grounds.
FaCuLtY FrIgHtS
Taylor Shepherd Content Editor | @taylor.shepherd
We all have fears, even the people we look up to the most. Faculty members at SJSU shared their own experiences with fear.
“I would say personally I have a fear of drowning so I shy away from the ocean. Also, I tend to focus on worst case contingencies so maybe I have a healthy fear of the unknown.
From a work standpoint, I really am concerned about the future of college athletics with all of the court cases, the philosophical shift from a student-athlete model to a revenue distribution shared model and all of this conference realignment.
“”I have many different types of fear. Among them, the fear of failure, public speaking and heights are the top three. My life has largely been about overcoming these fears. The fear of failure is a lengthy topic, however public speaking and heights are fears I enjoyed overcoming.
I have always had a fear of heights, even though I grew up in high-rises in Korea. I don’t like being near windows in tall buildings or looking down from escalators in shopping malls. The opportunity to confront this fear came when I was living in Brazil, where I had the chance to learn skydiving. The emotional buildup as the plane ascended was difficult to bear, but the feeling that comes after mustering the courage to jump out of the plane is inexplicable. I still avoid windows in high-rises, but in those moments, I tell myself that I am a skydiver to break through the mental barrier.
Jeff Konya, Athletics Director
Damon Moon, Global Innovation and Leadership Lecturer
“I don’t have too many direct personal fears as I am now at an age where I have experienced a lot of my life.
My fears concern my daughter and her future. This is a fear for her safety as a female and living in a society surrounded by weapons.
My greatest fear is for the planet’s future — climate change, war and conflict. As I have aged I have lost any personal fears for safety and well-being, but experience more general fears for those persons I feel closest to.
Simon Tobin, Head Coach Men’s Soccer
Illustrations by Adora Vu
WHO’S AF ID OF WHI AND
Saturn Williams Staff Writer | @saturn.sjsu
Much like a classic zombie movie, a moral panic has swept public discourse in the U.S. like a virus over the existence of transgender people in public life.
In 2024, a record number of 658 bills were considered in legislatures all over the U.S. which target trans people and restrict their rights with 45 passing and 125 still active.
Trans people are being denied healthcare with gender-affirming therapy bans in states such as Florida, Texas and Missouri. Trans stories are being censored disproportionately in libraries across the country according to the American Library Association.
Ash Frandsen, community outreach specialist for the Q Corner in San José, has watched this rhetoric seep into countless aspects of their dayto-day life.
“I mean, you see transphobia every day,” Frandsen said. “If you’re paying attention, you’ll catch it in TV shows, you’re gonna catch it on the news, you’re going to catch it within interactions and ignorant things that folks say.”
Being less than 1% of the population according to the Williams Institute, why are trans people being targeted so heavily by groups such as Moms For Liberty, Alliance Defending Liberty and conservative lawmakers where these bans are passed?
This overlaps with anti-trans violence in many ways. As the number of trans people murdered in the U.S. nearly doubled between 2017 and 2021, Black trans women made up 63% of those murders according to data from Everytown for Gun Safety.
“We’re socialized under a lot of these kinds of ideas about violence,” Armaline said. “About who’s okay to be those victims, who’s okay to dispense with and who’s okay to not give a shit about.”
LGBTQ+ media is often decried and censored by conservative platforms claiming its alleged undue influence on children, with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis justifying book bans in the state as protecting young people from grooming.
“Because when you look at who’s actually doing those things, then you’re talking about the most conservative groups out there,” Armaline said. “You’re talking about law enforcement, you’re talking about folks that are working with kids in religious fields. We know that data and it’s pretty alarming.”
Moms For Liberty, a conservative advocacy group pushing anti-LGBTQ+ policies at schools throughout the U.S. has also been mired in scandals involving sexual assault and samesex affairs among their members.
“They are all this really weird, really goofy, obsessive fear-mongering where every accusation is also a confession,” Armaline said.
We’re socialized under a lot of these kinds of ideas about violence. About who’s okay to be those victims, who’s okay to dispense with and who’s okay to not give a shit about.”
William
Armaline Sociology Professor
Armaline also said he observes conservative politicians and pundits taking advantage of this fear to motivate their audiences to support Christian nationalist campaigns.
“I am a firm believer that these kinds of issues and trans people as a population are scapegoats for a broader movement,” he said.
Bonnie Sugiyama has served LGBTQ+ students as the director of the PRIDE Center at SJSU since 2015 and also views this uptick in anti-trans rhetoric as political moves feigning moral outrage.
“People try to use it as a wedge issue to motivate people to vote and get their base rallied behind something,” Sugiyama said. “It’s not necessarily that people really care about this issue.”
Sugiyama also said that political figureheads often use trans women in sports as a talking point but don’t actually contribute to improving women’s athletics.
“They couch it in caring about women’s sports, but they’ve never really cared about women’s sports to begin with,” she said.
Illustrations by Adora Vu
Dotty Moppet does not want to scare people when she performs. She wants to make them laugh and cry as she showcases the joy and darkness of humanity through clowning.
Christina Lewis, who performs as Dotty Moppet, is 63 years old and has been a clown for 40 years, now passing on her knowledge as an instructor at The Clown School of San Francisco.
From the Tramp to the Harlequin, Lewis discussed the philosophy of clowns and recalled her most impactful experiences in the art form while dissuading myths, fears and tropes surrounding these colorful characters.
Williams Staff Writer | @saturn.sjsu
Photos by Analyn Do
Illustrations by Iris Nguyen
Q: What’s a misconception about clowns that you want to clear up?
A: I would love people to know that it’s deep work, that it can be many different things and that it’s a human-constructed art form. Humans are always rearranging, redoing and recreating more art forms.
There’s this kind of gaudy, Vegas-style, dark, scary, murderous clown vibe. Some people are into that, but there’s also this other way of expressing it. It’s good for people to know it can be both the light and the dark.
Q: Why do people not often recognize clowning as a legitimate and diverse art form?
A: I think that in America, there hasn’t been much representation of the theatrical art of clowning. Not that many people have seen it.
In America, clowns exist, but usually only in circuses or in vaudeville with tricks. It just isn’t a represented theatrical form. Not enough people have studied it in this way and then have brought it back and shared it with others.
Q: Why do you think the fear of clowns is so widespread?
A: Fear is a great American emotion. The people are on a steady diet of fear. And I think people get kind of attached to that diet and a little addicted to it.
Why are people attracted to really loud motorcycles and racing around, or why are people attracted to heavy metal? Because it gets that energy out of them. I think there’s a genre of clown that fits into that and it works for people, they like it.
There’s a part of our human psyche that is that way. I think that the clown genre speaks to those people.
Q: What impact do you want to leave on people as a clown?
A: I have been exploring and discovering this particular way of helping people to find their own clown, using that to create art and healing is my contribution to the field.
Q: What’s the number one thing you want to accomplish in your performances?
A: A really strong performance is a piece that evokes both deep laughter and tears.
I really love work when it’s nonverbal because it helps the audience descend from an intellectual place where language is processed, into a feeling space, in that the clown connects directly with the heart of the audience.
“PSYCHED” GET
Erika Vinculado Staff Writer | @ikavinc
With Halloween just around the corner, thriller and horror enthusiasts are in for a treat with an upcoming student short film, “Psyched.”
Christian Drake, radio-television-film senior and director of “Psyched,” was inspired to create a statement piece.
“Psyched” is a student-made thriller that showcases horror, science fiction and action themes using the COVID-19 pandemic. The short film is set to be released in October.
“Students can achieve a lot of bigger things by themselves with the proper guidance and the proper time to do things that don’t need a whole bunch of money,” Drake said. “You don’t need to bring in a bunch of professionals, you need a bunch of dedicated individuals of the same level in order to get something done.”
Business junior Hena Patel is looking forward to seeing the student short film as a break from school work.
“I really enjoy horror and thriller films and this will be the first student-made thriller (that) I’ll be seeing,” Patel said.
Over 100 dedicated people worked on the film to showcase professionalism and outstanding skills of his company, JustOrdinary Studios.
The film takes place during the COVID-19 pandemic. Stephen Detmer, the protagonist, ends up in a psychiatric ward but as a silver
lining he finds out he has telepathic powers and soon meets people that have supernatural powers like him.
The COVID-19 pandemic forced the whole world into isolation. Drake wanted to capture relatable moments that affected his personal life.
Biology senior Vanessa Guido feels that the movie resonates with her own personal experiences.
believes that horror movies are a great way to pass time.
“I get what it’s like being alone and when you find people similar to you, it feels like you’re understood,” Guido said.
Guido plans on watching the film with her friends on Halloween night.
“This film is less of a dedicated horror film. (It is) more of a film with horror themes within it but if you are a fan of action, of thriller and horror themes, then this film is the bread and butter for you,” Drake said. “It has a little bit of everything in it.”
Design and marketing junior Allison Ngo at West Valley College is a horror enthusiast who
“The building of anticipation in horror, that’s the fun part,” Ngo said.
He also incorporates action scenes and got his inspiration from classic thrillers such as “Chronicle” and “Code 8”, Zack Synder’s “Justice League” and “X-Men.”
Drake said that there will be standout scenes that viewers can expect performed by talented stunt members.
UC Davis alum Bryant Huynh said that action movies containing thrillers are not commonly released around this time of the year, so he looks forward to the release of the film.
“Action movies are my favorite, what I like most are the effects and stunts in fighting scenes,” Huynh said. “After hearing about the upcoming film, ‘Psyched,’ I think it is something that I would like very much.”
Drake said that the movie also includes scientist lab experimentation, military and the government to showcase themes of science fiction.
“I wanted to create something that is believable,” Drake said. “More of a psychological horror, something that can happen to them or anyone else.”
Drake used lighting, sound effects and visuals to show horror, action and thriller in his film for the audience to understand what the characters are experiencing in the story.
Photos from the filming of “Psyched”
“You have to consider how to anticipate the audience, such as considering slow pitches, dark lighting, big sounds (and) no sound,” he said.
Students like Huynh that enjoy the little details such as sound effects, lighting and fighting skills are encouraged to watch the film.
“I hope you guys can enjoy and I am so thankful for everyone that has helped out and the San José Film Production Society program,” Drake said. “I would not have been able to create this film without them.”
According to Drake, his team invested their time and dedication to create a statement piece as a way to show that anything is possible.
“I am hoping there are plot twists,” Huynh said. “I like going through a rollercoaster of emotions when I watch films.”
As JustOrdinary Studios get closer to releasing the film, excitement within students and San José film enthusiasts rises to see a film that combines many elements such as psychological depth and telepathic powers with the mix themes of horror, action, thriller and science fiction.
You really have to consider how to anticipate the audience, such as considering slow pitches, dark lighting, big sounds (and) no sound.
Christian Drake “Psyched” Film Director ”
Facing the Unknown the psychology of fear
Taylor Shepherd Content Editor | @taylor.shepherd
Fear can evoke a range of responses, from terror to excitement. Whether these fears arise in childhood or intensify with age, they take on different forms.
MA Library information science Ashlee Vasquez said she enjoys haunted houses and amusement parks like Knott’s Scary Farm and scary movies.
“Those things give me a rush of excitement and over the years I have come to enjoy it more and more,” Vasquez said.
Irving Biederman, a USC professor of neuroscience with a background in cognitive neuroscience, gave insight into the psychology of fear in a USC Today’s article about neuroscience, horror films and folklore.
“Some of the attraction of being scared comes from the deviation of having a new experience that we know is safe,” Biederman said.
Biological sciences junior Sarah Borja-Gomez has loved Halloween and horror movies since she was a child.
? ? ? ?
“ It’s amazing how the mind plays tricks and how certain music and camera angles in movies build up tension and excitement.
”
Sarah Borja-Gomez Biological Sciences Junior
“It’s amazing how the mind plays tricks and how certain music and camera angles in movies build up tension and excitement,” Borja-Gomez said. “It’s fun and exciting to let out a scream from a good scare,” she said.
Associate professor of anthropology and communication at USC Dornsife Tok Thompson, said this could explain why slasher films and scary stories are primarily geared toward people in their late teens and early 20s.
Undeclared sophomore Peter Pham said he loves being scared because of the rush of adrenaline.
“It came from watching movies and going to haunted houses as a kid,” Pham said. “This is mainly seeing people getting killed in horror movies.”
According to Britannica, the amygdala evaluates the emotional capability of situations. It recognizes threats and prepares the body for fight-or-flight reactions by increasing heart and breathing rate.
“The everyday fear comes from my phobia of those large green beetles, roaches and spiders,” MA library information science Ashlee Vasquez said. “Those things make me want to faint, make my skin crawl and I go through flight mode.”
The most effective therapy for fears is exposure therapy. This focuses on repeated exposure to the source of their specific phobia, according to the Mayo Clinic.
There is also repeated exposure to related thoughts, feelings and sensations that can help a person manage their anxiety.
In a post by Forbes Magazine, fear is a common emotion experienced by some humans that helps us recognize and react to possible dangers, ensuring our survival in dangerous circumstances.
“If you find yourself seeking out some scares and freights this fall, know you’re not alone,” Forbes said.
? ?? ? ? ? ?
“Those things give me a rush of excitement and over the years, I have come to enjoy it more and more.
”
Ashlee Vasquez MA Library Information Science
Illustrations by Adora Vu
Why Some Still Believe
SUPERSTITIONS AND SUPERNATURALS
Ankita Modak Staff Writer | @ankita__modak
With the introduction of modern science and research, few trust folkloric or paranormal realities because they often lack evidence.
Although not all people believe in concepts like superstitions and supernatural forces, these ancient beliefs are commonly passed down through generations.
A 2024 study published in the Journal of Individual Differences suggested that almost all individuals somewhat believe in superstitions.
For physiology senior Michael Xavier Reed this proves true. He recounts frequenting New Orleans to search for vampires with his family which is a common activity for his family’s birthday celebrations.
“There are rumors in my family about my aunt doing black magic,” Reed said. “My family’s from the South and that fed into it as well.”
Witchcraft and superstitions share an overlap in paranormal spaces. Reed’s aunt once tried to take a piece of his hair to keep him safe, healthy, prosperous and vital.
Reed also said his family is more in tune with the dead than others. He describes an eerie feeling, in what he calls “spidey sense” in spaces where people have died.
However, his family believes that respecting the supernatural is necessary.
“If these things exist, like vampires and witches, I wouldn’t want to upset them,” Reed said.
Rather than believing only in proven sciences, Reed’s beliefs have been strong since childhood.
“My family definitely passed on a lot of thoughts about superstition to me,” Reed said. “When I was younger, my mom always said that I shouldn’t do or say certain things because it gives power to spirits.”
Nepalese art junior Aditya Rock also maintains superstitious beliefs which are influenced by their family. Unlike Reed’s beliefs, Rock was raised learning mainstream superstition.
Rock understood that witnessing a cat crossing the street may bring bad luck or watching a dog
Illustrations by Adora Vu
cry might foreshadow an upcoming death as a child. In addition, they believed that giving chili to someone may lead to a fight.
Rock said how Nepalis people who are suspected of witchcraft were sometimes violently beaten in their villages.
“It might be a lack of access to proper mental health care,” Rock said. “These women are probably being affected by symptoms of mental disorder and their neighbors don’t necessarily know this. So they end up being branded as witches and getting harmed by their neighbors.”
They argue that it’s rash to completely dismiss any belief with new discoveries happening every day.
“Scientific discoveries happen all the time,” Reed said. “There are a lot of things about our world that we still don’t understand. So I wouldn’t draw the line at supernatural things.”
While Reed was more open to the possibility of the supernatural Rock maintained a more conflicted stance.
“I kind of don’t want to agree with it, but also, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to take any chances,” Rock said.
On the contrary, business senior Lucia Tomas believes in logic and common sense alongside the supernatural.
She only holds onto her Croatian superstitions that she understands, like how her community believes that cold winds heavily affect mood, health and luck.
Tomas said that “propuh” or cross-breeze, frightens Croatian households. Her dad regularly screams “promaja je,” expressing fear, whenever there are open doors or windows in the house.
I kind of don’t want to agree with them, but also, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to take any chances.” “
Aditya Rock Nepalese Art Junior
This idea stems from the generational concern over the Bura winds, a powerful Croatian gust thought to carry health impacts named after the Greek god, Boreas.
Tomas’s family continues to uphold traditions related to these winds even in California. They view superstitions as practices passed down from ancestors, even without a logical basis.
“When you hear it from family, it sticks with you,” Tomas said.
“Superstitions give me a different perspective on things that I see,” Reed said. “If I saw something that somebody else did (who has no beliefs) we would see two completely different things.”
Erika Vinculado Staff Writer | @Ikavinc
Graphics by Erika Vinculado
Halloween is an American tradition that is celebrated yearly. However, this wasn’t always the case.
The Celtic festival of Samhain is a celebration of the transition into harvest season where the weather shifts from light to dark according to the History Channel. Samhain was a ritual that people dressed up to scare away visiting spirits according to Britannica.
According to the New York Public Library, Christians transformed the festival into a Christian holiday, first renaming it “All Saints’ Day,” which later became “All Hallows’ Day,” eventually evolving into “Halloween.”
In the ninth century when Christians had taken control in the Celtic lands, they sought to incorporate the festival into their own traditions to discourage people from celebrating non-Christian holidays.
With the influence of Irish immigrants, Halloween became more popular. By the 1800s, it had transformed into a holiday centered around pranks, candies, costumes, ghost stories and community gatherings. This marked a shift from its original spiritual significance to a more social and festive occasion.
The holiday has become a commercialized holiday according to the Los Angeles Times.
“One thing I do not like about Halloween is how companies like Disney have used the holiday to make profits,” arts media junior Archie Rock said.
Disney makes $125 million from Halloween through its theme parks, Disney costumes and movies according to the Seattle Times.
“I like celebrating Halloween because it is a way to bond with friends and family, but I don’t like how Halloween objectifies certain work fields,” public health senior Patrick Dela Cruz said. “Growing up Filipino, I’ve grown up seeing nurses oversexualized.”
According to UNICEF USA, overconsumption and the hyper-sexuality of modern costumes
may influence increased stereotypical thoughts about women, potentially perpetuating negative consequences for younger generations.
It was not until the 20th century when the holiday moved away from religion and pranks into cinema, candies and dress up according to JSTOR Daily.
Wearing costumes was part of the Samhain culture to ward off ghosts during the Celtic festival of Samhain according to the History Channel. Christianity took over and it became All Saints’ Day — now commonly called Halloween.
Psychology Alumni Kelso Rivera said there are negative aspects to Halloween celebrations.
“I don’t think it’s healthy that a holiday is associated with negative connotations towards cultures,” Rivera said. “People are dressing up as half-naked Native Americans, Hawaiians, if you think about it it’s really messed up how the industries sell these kinds of products to consumers.”
Bryant Huynh, a San José resident, said if corporations take more accountability for the negative influences they can have, Halloween can be a holiday that positively benefits consumers.
“We need to push industries to be more conscious with what they sell to us consumers,” Huynh said. “People should have the freedom to celebrate or dress how they want and should not be a holiday where cultural appropriation is enabled.”
” Halloween is how companies like Disney have used the holiday to make profits.
Archie Rock Arts Media Junior
The Case for Casey
asey Rettig recalls maternal family members falling victim to drug use while her father served as a police officer in the early ‘70s.
“How I navigated it, growing up, I saw things that I liked and things that I didn’t like,” Rettig said. “For me, it pushed me toward the stability of a career in law enforcement. That’s where I focused my efforts because I did see the instability of how drug use can affect an individual and
Twenty-six years later, Rettig is now working as a special agent and public information officer for the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) in San Francisco. Throughout her time with the agency, Rettig saw drug trends come and
go. However, today’s current trend regarding fentanyl is one that has shaken her to her core.
“When I started we were focused on meth labs,” Rettig said. “My first assignment was in Riverside and I was in a group where we focused on pseudoephedrine which was a precursor to make methamphetamine. To see how we’ve evolved to where we are today, particularly in fentanyl, I can tell you, I haven’t seen anything scarier in my life.”
Fentanyl Fatalities
According to the California Department of Public Health (CDPH), fentanyl is a synthetic (man-made) opioid designed to be 50 times more potent than heroin and 100 times more potent than morphine.
“It’s deadly and dangerous that the amount of two milligrams is a potentially deadly dose,”
Rettig said. “If you want to know what two milligrams are, it’s equivalent to a few grains that could fit on the tip of a pencil. I’ve met a family who had a child that took half a pill and passed away.”
The Kaiser Family Foundation, an independent source for health policy, research, polling and journalism, reported that 72,773 fentanyl deaths comprised an overall 105,002 deaths for all 2023 drug-related (opioid and non-opioid) deaths.
The Flow of Fentanyl: Social Media Highway
Fentanyl is currently being sold and distributed through online social media apps and internet platforms.
“Social media is a superhighway for drug trafficking so drugs nowadays are available with Snapchat or Instagram posts,” Rettig said. “They can use CashApp to pay for it and it can be delivered to your home.”
“This availability of social media has increased the availability of the drug,” she said. “So we (DEA) are educating social media companies on the types of language (coded words) to be on the lookout for.”
In addition to social media platforms, people who sell drugs often create fake illegal online pharmacies to lure potential buyers. The DEA issued a public safety alert on Oct. 4, stating that the administration has seen an uptick in falsified pharmacies and how it poses a threat to unsuspecting buyers.
“These illegal, online websites use U.S. website addresses and professional-looking designs to appear legitimate when, in fact,
To see how we’ve evolved to where we are today, particularly
they are not,” the DEA said. “These companies operate illegally, deliberately deceiving American customers into believing they are purchasing safe, regulated medications when they are selling fake, counterfeit pills made with fentanyl or methamphetamine.”
Rettig said that this new trend is “very troubling.”
There are currently two types of fentanyl: pharmaceutical and illicitly manufactured fentanyl.
The CDPH describes pharmaceutical fentanyl as being prescribed by a board-certified doctor to treat “severe pain.” The National Institute on Drug Abuse said, “When prescribed by a doctor, fentanyl can be given as a shot, a patch that is put on a person’s skin, or as lozenges that are sucked like cough drops.”
Patients taking pharmaceutical fentanyl are still closely monitored considering potential misuse which can lead to addiction.
Illicitly manufactured fentanyl is manufactured in labs and distributed through illegal drug markets. The National Harm Reduction Coalition, a nationwide advocate for people who use drugs said that illicitly manufactured fentanyl “can be presented in a variety of forms: powders, tablets, capsules, solutions and can be present in multiple types of drugs.”
Photos by Jennifer Yin
wiz, said that the Narcan vending machines are targeted towards students.
“We have lost quite a few teenagers to fentanyl so an epidemic requires innovative thinking,” Parwiz said. “The way we thought about it was to put Narcan in every corner and make it available to people.
She continued, “Colleges and universities wanted to have friendly access to Narcan. So we thought about sororities or frat parties, where we know that there is a possibility of drug use and overdoses. That is where this vending machine idea came in.”
The County of Santa Clara Health System contacted SJSU to petition for the installation of on-campus Narcan vending machines but was denied, according to Parwiz.
“We have it in our jails,” she said. “Stanford is working on one. I don’t know why SJSU isn’t — we reached out and unfortunately, they did not take us up on that, but that’s an area where outreach is still needed because it is a life-saving medication.”
Access Magazine reached out to the Office of the President regarding the installation of on-campus Narcan vending machines, but the office has yet to comment.
SJSU Narcan Distribution Program
SJSU may not have Narcan vending machines on campus but the institution does provide its students with a supply of Narcan through SJSU’s Narcan Disruption Program. However, the medication is only available to SJSU members including students, staff and faculty.
The program and Student Wellness Center offers a limited supply of FTS and does not require members to take the training course. Narcan and FTS are available at no cost.
The Only Way is Upwards from Here
The DEA and Santa Clara are continuing their efforts to combat the fentanyl and opioid crisis that has affected the Bay Area. However, on the bright side, Parwiz sees a dim light at the end of the tunnel.
The only requirement to receive Narcan is for members to take a Narcan Distribution Program training once per academic year which takes upwards of 20 minutes to complete. After completion, members will receive email instructions for pickup at the front desk of the Student Wellness Center.
“The good news is we have done a lot of work in the community in the last five years such as opioid education, providing Narcan everywhere we can, educating parents, schools and students,” Parwiz said. “Just being in the community, we have seen fatalities drop. This is the first year that we are seeing a drop and it correlates with the rest of the United States as well, that we’re seeing a drop in the number of fentanyl overdoses.”
The Winchester Mystery House
Melissa Alejandres Staff Writer | @mel_72a
Photo by Melissa Alejandres
The Winchester Mystery House, a mansion built in 1884, has a deep history and notable popularity because of the paranormal experiences that visitors may experience during their visit.
The mansion is deemed haunted because of its active spirits such as owner and American architect, Sarah Winchester, who died in 1922. Old wives’ tales say that it is to remain haunted for the rest of eternity unless a debt is paid.
According to the Winchester Mystery House website, Sarah moved to California in 1886 due to health issues and California’s weather.
During her time, she purchased a two-story farmhouse where she married her husband, William Winchester, and gave birth to her only daughter, Annie Winchester.
Unfortunately, life came to a standstill when her five-week old daughter died of marasmus disease, which causes severe malnutrition. After the death of Annie, Sarah then lost her father-in-law and husband.
“ It was butterflies in my stomach but for the wrong reason, not a good reason.
”
A’niah Nasir Communication Studies Junior
After her husband’s death, she inherited the Winchester’s family company, the Winchester Repeating Arms which currently still sells firearms.
The spiritual medium told Sarah that she was being haunted by the slain spirits killed by Winchester owned rifles.
After her reading, Sarah would spend the next 36 years hiring workers to construct elaborate features around her house. Some aspects were fueled by her passion as an architect such as Victorian designs which drew visitors from around the world.
The Winchester Mystery House currently has 160 rooms, 47 staircases, 40 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms and 10,000 window panes.
According to US Ghost Adventures, visitors said they heard footsteps in the basement, saw apparitions and felt a sense of an odd presence.
Communication studies junior A’niah Nasir, talks about her personal experience of her first guided hour of the house. Nasir said there were rooms with palpable spiritual presence, specifically in the seance room, complete with hanging ceiling candles.
Sarah felt hopeless after now being widowed and left alone. Desperate to find answers, she visited a Boston spiritual medium, a person that is able to make contact with the spiritual world, for advice and an explanation to why these deaths were happening.
“I have a picture that I took in one of the living rooms and I swear you can see something walking by the camera,” Nasir said.
However, she alleged that someone passed through the camera in the photo. “I felt uneasy, restless and I felt like there was something in the rooms with me but that I couldn’t see or touch anything,” Nasir said. “It was butterflies in my stomach but for the wrong reason not a good reason.”
She said she wouldn’t go again because it was an unpleasant feeling to be in the house.
Although the Winchester Mystery House is known for its legends, myths and creative architecture – no one can confirm if it is haunted. However, it and its folklore still sends shivers down individuals’ spines.
Beware of Aging: The Modern Boogeyman
Exploring the Disturbing Underbelly of Anti-Aging Fear
Sophia Sipe Managing Editor | @sophiasipe
Like a stalk of bright ripened bananas eager to be plucked, 20-year-old women sit and await consumption in a hungry society. They’re satisfying, pleasing to the tongue and just sweet enough.
That is until, like mushy and blackened bananas, women hastily expire.
According to Milina Jovanović, an Evergreen Valley College women and gender studies professor, much of this ideology stems from patriarchal systems.
“As we age, the patriarchal images of young, doll-like women become even more unattainable. So many professions stop including women if they prefer natural, healthy aging,” she said.
As girls, most women are sold the cheap notion that youth is a vital component of worthiness. This belief stretches beyond the benefits of good health and adolescent sharpness of mind.
They’re subliminally taught that when young beauty walks out the door, the rest follows in a pair of unsexy orthotic Skechers. Above looks, what is there to offer? Forget advanced contributions to modern America and forgo collective emotional intelligence, of course.
The effects of this ideology say damning things about society. In addition to the encouragement of ageism, the anti-aging panic both perpetuates and weaponizes a grossly young beauty standard. Like pubescents, idealized women are to be hairless, smooth-skinned and petite.
Aside from harming generations of women, this ultimately breeds fear.
While the fear of growing old is acknowledged, the core of a woman’s aging phobia hardly shares the same feat.
In a 2014 OkCupid study, cofounder Christopher Rudder and researchers found that men cite being most consistently attracted to 20-year-old women throughout their lives.
Conversely, the study, published in Rudder’s novel “Dataclysm: Love, Sex, Race, and Identity — What Our Online Lives Tell Us about Our Offline Selves,” cites women being attracted to men their own age.
In opposition to their male counterparts, who are often recognized as achieving peak career rankings, middle-aged women succumb to an exiled fate.
The invisible woman syndrome, in which 50-year-old women begin to feel overlooked in the workplace and in daily activities, is a firsthand testimony of such phenomena.
According to a 2016 Grasnet survey, “7 out of 10 believe that women become ‘invisible’ as they get older, but only a third (32%) think the same applies to men.” Though women begin facing symptoms of “invisibility” at 52, men don’t encounter the same treatment until an average age of 64.
Critics of the psychological theory pick apart its spokeswomen, suggesting that the invisibility cloak is actually just an equality cape. No more special treatment for a pretty face, they argue.
In fact, when considering male beauty standards, adverse mental effects because of dysmorphia can be a shared commonality between genders.
Data collected by ScienceDirect suggests that at least 30% of men struggle with self-esteem issues stemming from body weight concerns. Similarly, 85% of men are dissatisfied with their muscularity.
Yet, older men are still more likely to be promoted than women of the same age group and experience less forced oustings from companies, all while being paid a higher wage.
“For women, median earnings are highest among those in their early-to mid-40s … and by the time a woman is in her early-to-mid-60s, her earnings drop to 8% below peak,” according to the Center for American Progress.
Meanwhile, men in their early-to-mid-60s drop
“Capitalist and patriarchal systems thrive on exploiting female labor power in its prime working age,” Jovanović said. “As soon as women (and all genders) are past that stage in life, and especially if they are women of color and single parents, they are less useful for the system.”
Likewise, competing ideologies like lookism, or prejudice based on physical appearance, affect women more than men. A natural female face, devoid of the Botox needle, is commonly associated with negative stereotypes, like lacking professionalism and confidence.
“It is insisted that women have the appearance of being young and attractive to men (powerful, rich, white, cisgender and heterosexual males),” Jovanović said.
While the gap widens in pertinence to pay and logistics, it also continues to spread in relation to perspectives.
by Iris Nguyen
“ ” Capitalist and patriarchal systems thrive on exploiting female labor power in its prime working age.
Milina Jovanović
Evergreen Valley College Women and Gender Studies Professor
“They (women) are expected to strive to achieve impossible and unnatural standards, and are pre-destined to never be good enough,” she said. “Such standards are not imposed on men.”
In spite of a human best-by-date and unruly double standards, may society move towards a healthier perspective of aging. After all, those who bake know that old blackened bananas make the best banana bread.
Illustrations
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Photo by Maya Pettiford
ABOUT ACCESS TEAM
Access Magazine is a student-run publication at San José State University. It is conceptualized, edited, designed, published and distributed by students.
Our goal is to write stories for our students and our community on topics that are important, informative, educational and entertaining.
Our team comprises creative thinkers and passionate writers who strive to produce unforgettable issues every semester.
EDITOR IN CHIEF
Maya Pettiford
MANAGING EDITOR
Sophia Sipe
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Simon Haupt
CONTENT EDITOR
Taylor Shepherd
COPY EDITORS
Jennifer Yin
Tracy Escobedo
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER
Tracy Escobedo
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS
Tony Hoang, Adora Vu, Doan (Iris) Nguyen, Jose Pelaez, Cia Castro WRITERS
Saturn Williams, Melissa Alejandres, Kennedy Mayo, Erika Vinculado, Ankita Modak, Norah Sheppard
PHOTOGRAPHER
Analyn Do ADVISOR
Nisha Garud Patkar
