NOW THE REAL WORK BEGINS

By Susan M. Mastellone, DO, FACOEP

COMLEX exams passed? Check.

Emergency Medicine residency complete? Done!

Successful employment? Affirmative!

Board certification? Yup!

That should be everything, right? Not even the tip of the iceberg. Now the real work begins.

In 2000, when I graduated from my residency at St Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx, I was sure I was ready to save the world. Twenty-three years later, I have realized all the ways I was not prepared to care for my patients. The elements missing from my training could not be found in any textbook, nor were they tested on any exam.

What I was never taught was the art of humanity. Sure, I observed my brilliant attendings in residency perform amazing acts of intelligence and caring, but it was the side act, if you will. It wasn’t what I focused on, and perhaps understandably so. There was so much to learn, and humanity didn’t make the reading list.

I spent the first 15 years of my career in Baltimore, with the last ten years working at Mercy Medical Center. During my time there, I had the privilege of participating in the education of EM residents from the University of Maryland. Mercy was an outside rotation for them, away from the mothership. At Mercy, we were able to work more closely, virtually one on one, and I loved it. It was during my time with the residents that I found myself mothering them. Our chairman nicknamed me Mama Bear, and I wore that moniker with pride.

Slowly but surely, I was spending more time just talking to my patients, trying to be a good example for the residents. But I noticed it changed me in the process. I guess you might call it maturity, but something, some force, was preparing me for the future.

In 2015, we migrated to Florida. This time, my “resident children” were my scribes. Such an amazing group of motivated young people. I felt obligated to remain a good example. However, I started to see the change in medicine that I feared: less time with patients, more time with my computer.

In 2021, I got a taste of reality... as a patient. Headed into a shift on a sunny Saturday in May, I knew something was wrong. I managed to get myself into the building and asked the staff to check me in to be seen. Forty-eight hours later, I heard words I never expected: “You have a brain tumor.” You hear the words, but then again you don’t. Certainly, they didn’t mean to tell me that. Maybe there was a mistake, I thought to myself.

Since that time, I have been to the operating room, undergone radiation, and completed two rounds of chemotherapy. I was quickly turned into a patient, and I really wanted someone to talk to me, just talk to me. I’m still waiting, but now, two years later, I’m taking matters into my own hands. I am going to be the change I want to see in medicine.

As a result of my new mission, I started a blog called “But if you did know, what would you say?” Initially, it was purely for me, therapeutic if you will. However, I realized there might be a greater good that could be achieved from these words, so I’ve decided to share them.–•–