RECHARGE RECHARGE RECHARGE A ZINE FOR POSITIVE YOUTH
spring 2014
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MOTIVATION! a program of
RECHARGE ZINE
“MOTIVATION” -Spring 2014
Editor: Alessandro Bisignanon Design: James M Lee Contributors this issue: Miss Stickers, Lata Patel Produced by Positive Youth Outreach (PYO) a program of the Aids Commitee of Toronto (ACT)
www.positiveyouth.com
from the editor Dear Readers, Happy New Year! I hope your holidays were full of love and great company. Here in Toronto we had a very big storm system that affected a lot of people; more than a few were left with no power, some for a long time. I wanted to start by acknowledging the people that had to struggle through this difficult time. They demonstrated a great deal of resilience along with those who worked tirelessly to re-establish their day-to-day routines. During this difficult time, people displayed compassion and motivation to keep going and help others. I was thinking of ideas or themes for this issue of Recharge and given the circumstances I thought ‘why not make this issue about “Motivation”? So as I was doing research to contextualize this theme I came across a lot of theories and perspectives on what motivation was and how it affects our daily lives as we work to achieve a goal or satisfy our basic needs. I am very excited to let you know that this is the first time our authors have submitted a piece for Recharge. This should give us greater perspectives and different ideas around the subject at hand. You will be able to read a couple of articles written by members of PYO, one of them is our former member and current designer of the zine, the other is an article written by one of our Case Managers here at ACT. Last but not least we have our recurring article “ASK PYO”. I hope this issue inspire you as much as it has stimulated me. If you would like to submit a piece for the next issue, feel free to contact me at pyozine@actoronto.org.
Alessandro Bisignano Youth Support Worker, Positive Youth Outreach pyozine@actoronto.org
My Motivation is hope For me motivation stems from inspiration; to achieve your goals and be set on paths that ultimately shape the person you are and will become. Through motivation I am able to have a positive outlook on things no matter how bleak the situation may be. What motivates me is hope for a better world for a better life. Hope for me is a positive expectation, a positive image of what I actually expect in the future. Faith works hand in hand with hope for me. Faith is the choice to believe in something, our beliefs are the foundation to our hopes and fears and enable them to exist. Hope not only comes from a spiritual place in my life it also reflects my life choices, having faith and hope in people, myself, the tangible and intangible. Hope motivates me because it allows me to pilot and map my life I choose what I believe in and set my values accordingly. We all have dreams and aspirations and sometimes things do not go as planned which would maybe leave you to believe I am arguing from ignorance. I am not here to tell you Hope is the answer and that it should be your motivation. Hope is my path, my source of motivation it might also be for you or not. I do however, encourage others to find their source of motivation whether it is music, family or perhaps love. Once you find it, believe and trust your source of motivation the possibilities are endless. “I believe our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future�. Hope instills validity, purpose and bliss, it is my hope that these words will leave a profound effect and with any luck guide and motivate you to your path.
Anonymous
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Journey forward This is my first written piece for PYO’s zine but I have been involved with the program known as PYO nearly since my diagnosis some 5-6 years ago! So whichever stage you are at with your journey from first diagnosed to having been living with HIV for years –I’ve been there! I’d just like to share some of my path since starting with PYO and having graduated recently (I turned the big 3-0! There’s not much difference although I don’t give a bleeping bleep about a lot more things!) What drew me in to PYO the first time was about getting good information, finding out the real deal about HIV from other young people like myself. But reflecting back it was also about finding my community, my people to share with. Now I’m not saying you’ll get along with everyone or even like everyone but it’s about recognizing we all have unique journeys and perspectives but we all have something in common. What motivated me to keep coming back was that you never really knew what the next experience would bring, what tidbit of information you might find to make your life better or what friend you might make. Sometimes it was just the entertainment! But what really kept me connected to coming back was that knowing that I was not alone and there was some place for me.
As time passed I came to PYO less, as I grew my life outside of PYO. I took what I learned and used it and one day which you may be at already, you’ll realize HIV -well it ain’t no thang! If you take care of your health, see your doctor regularly and take your medication, you can be just as healthy, if not better off than any other person.
Never let anyone tell you what you are doing is not enough because whatever you are doing is still a contribution. Even the smallest drops create ripples, so start small! What has motivated me to continue on with PYO and the HIV community in general is knowing that we have the ability to help and influence other’s lives, that we have a value and power! Harnessing your talents to make a difference is one of the best feelings in life. Even if it’s just being happy or open, being OK with HIV -that’s letting others know it’s ok to talk about it, it’s ok to open about it, it’s OK! You are still making a huge difference and eventually as you grow so may your contributions.
...that’s what she said! Hopefully you’ll hear more from me in the future. I believe in you, as you should believe in yourself. If you keep looking for others to motivate you to do what you really want to do -you may be waiting awhile so why not get behind yourself? You can be your biggest cheerleader! It’s YOU you’ve been looking for all your life! I always believe in working on yourself first as a solid foundation and when that’s built up you can do anything and when things do or don’t work out you know you are just dandy under it all. Peace out!
James
About the author: My name is James Lee. I am 30 years young and have been HIV+ for a long while now. I live for the creative and currently my journey has taken me in to delving more in to design and costume making. I’m also working on a book and spiritualty has really helped with my journey!
FAMOUS QUOTES “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” –Albert Einstein “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” –Wayne Gretzky “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” –Henry Ford “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. “ –Chinese Proverb “You become what you believe.” –Oprah Winfrey
Freedom This is my story... it’s a journey of overcoming strife, and finding self-realization and acceptance. For anonymity purposes, I will refer to myself as “Miss Stickers”. My journey begins at the age of 20, when I left my country of origin. It had been three years since I had been diagnosed with HIV. My struggles with daily living had become unbearable. The only path I could see out of my situation was to start over in a new country, where I could have the opportunity to live a life without fear of persecution, and receive the proper medication and treatment that I needed. Upon my arrival in Toronto, I was greeted with an overwhelming sense of liberty, and the freedom for sexual exploration. As many before me, I fell into a cycle of substance abuse and prostitution. Both of these factors were overshadowed by my eating disorder. Simultaneously, I was also struggling with my sexuality and gender. “Who was I? Where was I going in life? What was my overall purpose?” While struggling with the acceptance of my identity in Canada, I was guided to PYO by my immigration lawyer. It was at PYO that I was finally given the education and support that I had
lacked. In short, PYO has been a transformative experience for me. I have been given the opportunity to learn more about my health condition, and to participate in conferences and forums. I soon learned that holding onto my favourite scar, the tally of men that I slept with, was holding me back emotionally and preventing me from moving on in the way that I needed. It was my broken heart talking. I made some wrong choices at that time. But luckily, I had the support of staff at PYO to learn from these mistakes and understand the importance of living positively. Once I started dealing with my baggage, and leaving the past behind, I began to feel more comfortable and connected with my sexuality, and ultimately – my gender. I now identify as a transfemale, or T-Girl. I realized that, I’m only on this earth once and I might as well live life the way I need it to be. I’m not hung up on labels anymore. I’m just going to be me – no explanation needed. I’m proud of my looks, and finally comfortable with my HIV status. I know that when I believe in myself, I am being true to myself, and am just like any cis-gender woman. Love,
Miss Stickers
“If you could only see what I see, I’m dazzled by the beauty inside of me!” – Cher
ASK PYO
In this edition of “ASK PYO”, I asked the group: These are their responses: WHAT MOTIVATES
k
YOU?
IdrawmymotivationfromwillpowerandfromJesusbecauseIamhisdaughterandI caninterprethismessages.IalsohavethingsthatIwanttoaccomplish,suchas,my beauty,musicisupliftingforme,peoplehelpingothersandantidepressants. Musicmotivatesmebe causeithelpsmegetth roughdifferent moodsIcouldbein.Lo okingatpicturesofph ys icallyfitbodies thatIwanttoemulat eandmyworkandhe lpingothers.
HavingajobfromwhichIcanbuildacareer,gettingoutofbedinthemorning, myfriendsthatItrust,beinghealthyandfree,havingopportunitiesandagoalto achieve,beingincontrolofmylife,allthesefactorskeepmemotivatedtokeepgoing.
lingsanddebrief,havinga WhenIgettoexpressmyfee is motivation for me. goal to achieve that
FaithinGodbecauseIamaliveandisaninnatebelievethatfillsmysoulandmakesme feellistenedtoandkeepsmegoing;singingmakesmehappybecauseitmakesmefeel betterandisanuniversallanguage.FamilymotivatesmetogetwhereIwanttobe,my familyshowsmetheroadthatIwanttofollowandprovidedmewiththevaluesthat helpedshapethemanthatIamnowandtheyinspiremetokeepgoinganddon’tletgo.
L A
done. Negativitymotivatesmetobepositive.Musichelpsmegettasks . needs ones ng realisi and me for Selfawarenesscreatesmotivation
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Theperceptionofhowpeople viewmeshapeshowIinteract withothersto getthefeelingIfitin,atthesam etime,thisnotionmotivatesme tobreakthe barriersbetweenhowIpresen tmyselftoothers.Havingagoal toachieveand takingpeoplefromonepla cetoanothermotivatesme Iliketodrive.
Myfuture,havinggoalsandthejourneytoaccomplishthem,goingtoschoolandhavingthe understandingthatisneededinorderformetosuccessinmylife;moneytohelpsupport myself.Beingpartofacommunityandfosteringrelationshipswithpeoplekeepmemotivated.
Within our group, as you zine readers can see, there are many things that motivate them. One of the commonalities is maintaining goaloriented behaviours. Drive is what makes us do things and it can be said that motivation is why we do these things.
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, Don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps” —Confucius I’m sure we have all had that moment in life when you are trying to get something done and keep going at it that very same way that never gets you closer to your end goal. Eventually we realize the error of our ways—or someone else kindly points it out!—that the current way is just not working. Time for a new direction! Experts report that regardless of what aspect of life you are pursuing: sports, dance, business, education, career, the more time you put into it, the more important motivation becomes. Research presents that motivation is the most significant predictor of success and finding the right motivation to change requires keeping up constant efforts towards meeting your goals even in the face of obstacles. It means doing everything possible to meet planned goals. Let’s be honest, the reality is that change is difficult, be it going back to school, joining a youth group, accessing services for the first time or whatever else we want to do. We are so fixed in our ways because it’s what is familiar and our habits are deeply ingrained. Finding and maintaining motivation for meaningful and long-lasting change will determine whether you are able to break those stubborn habits. Dr. Jim Taylor (2012) highlights that change begins with what he refers as the 3 D’s. 1. Direction: Before beginning the process of change, it is important to consider and understand the different directions you can go in your life. a) You could continue in your current direction, b) you could make instant and life changing steps, or c) take a slower well-planned route (remember the story about the race between the Hare and Turtle?) 2. Decision: Consider the three choices connected to “Direction”. Now you must decide which one is best suited for you. None of the directions are right or wrong but each one can be a good fit for someone. It’s important to understand which is best for you. Your choice will determine if you make changes in your life and how much time and effort you will apply towards it. Choose well! 3. Dedication: So you have chosen a direction and made a decision. Now it’s time to dedicate yourself! If you want to make big changes if your life, whether it’s quickly or slowly, then this last step will dictate if you follow through. If you are not married to the idea of which direction you take, chances are the follow through will be poor. However, if you are committed to the direction and decisions around your goal, the end goal may be very favourable. Yay! As with all things that are worthwhile, the process to get to the final goal can be tedious, stressful and exhausting. It’s during this time that all your efforts towards the change really count. Think of someone who is starting their first year of college in the hopes that a degree will help land a good job. That person is constantly swamped with assignments, group work, tests, exams and presentations. While in the moment, all thoughts are centered on how much work is required and how little time there is for fun activities. The person pushes through seeing the end goal and graduates. The payoff feels amazing and more windows are now open for this person. There are always supports along the way to help you meet goals. It’s critical to identify them and see how they can facilitate your success. Try writing out your goals. List out what challenges pose a threat in meeting them. Identify what assets will contribute to meeting your end goals. Highlight what change will occur when the goal is met. Good luck and happy planning!
Lata Patel
Case Manager – AIDS Committee of Toronto
Taylor, J. (2012). Personal growth: Motivation: The drive to change. The Power of Prime, Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201201/personal-growth-motivation-the-drive-change
RECHARGE is always looking for contributors. Send your questions, comments, art & poetry to p yozine @actor onto.or g
and find yourself in the next issue!!!
a program of
RECHARGE ZINE is produced by Positive Youth Outreach (PYO) a program of the AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT) 399 Church St, 4th Floor, Toronto, ON M5B 2J6 positiveyouth.com
RECHARGE is also available online: actoronto.org/youth PYO offers a variety of services to empower, support, and affirm the lives of young people 16-29 living with HIV/AIDS! You’re not alone, so get in touch!