WINDOWS & MIRRORS Written by: Adam Barragato
Steve Jobs will always be celebrated
for his uncanny ability to innovate. However, in 2005 when asked to give a commencement speech at Stanford university, he didn’t talk about “what innovation is,” “how to be innovative,” or even offer a 7 step program that enables you to be “the next innovative genuis.” Instead, he told three stories about failures in his life (including how he dropped out of college and got fired from a company he created). Not a great credibility builder, right? Not necessarily. His speech is considered a masterpiece. WHY?! Keep reading to find out! Plus you kind of have to, in order to get credit for the prep. But, hopefully you’re intrigued by now, right?
THE CONCEPT (Q1)
W
hen you think about COM 357, what emotions come to mind? Fear? Anxiety? Disgust? It’s common, don’t worry. It’s also probably because you think you’re “bad” at public speaking, hence the concern you feel when thinking about a class that revolves around speaking in front of your peers. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Every year I have plenty of students, like you, who tell me at they are “bad public speakers.” When I probe deeper, I almost always find they either have little understanding of what public speaking is or little experience talking to diverse crowds (outside of social media of course). Let me ask you this question (assuming you fall into the previous camp described): Do you know how to communicate? The obvious answer is “YES ADAM, of course I KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE.” So, the next question is easy to guess: Why are you scared of public speaking? Thankfully, Dr. Tim Elmore has helped reclaim the definition of good public speaking as nothing more than simple communication. In his 2012 book, “Habitudes: Images that form leadership habits and attitudes,” he argues good public speakers offer a window to their life that (as a result) creates a reflection or mirror, helping the audience understand themselves. Simply put, everyone has a story. You can’t fully understand or be
engaged in anyone’s speaking (for the most part) until you have first heard their story. If you don’t believe me, watch any popular Ted Talk. The most engaging (and most frequently viewed) talks are the ones that revolve around the story of a regular person who encountered a monumental personal experience. Although their speech is technically on an important issue, they never jump into the issue without first using their own window to create a mirror for the audience to see themselves in the story. I’ll let Tim explain it from here, as it’s his idea and frankly he’s much better at communicating: “Windows and mirrors is all about becoming authentic and transparent. Being real and revealing. It’s the opposite of what you might have learned in many public speaking classes, where we are encouraged to be polished and professional” (p. 4). Ouch! Sadly, we do tend to teach the opposite in public speaking classes. That’s why I created this reading. I needed you to fully comprehend that who you are must come before the message (or at least some explanation of your story) otherwise the message has little to no meaning to the audience and is bored or not engaged. The chart on the next page explains this deeper. Who comes to mind when you hear the word Public Speaker? Is it a great leader of justice like Martin Luther King Jr.? A hilarious actor like Tina Fey? A charismatic and caring president? Or a “natural” leader with a huge stuttering problem, like Winston Churchill? Hopefully all these people and more. However, they all have one thing in common, do you know what it is? They all are considered GREAT communicators.
PUBLIC SPEAKERS VS. COMMUNICATORS (Q2)
Public Speakers Puts the MESSAGE before the people Asks: What do I have? Emphasizes techniques Focus is content of the words Polished (image conscious) Goal: Complete the message The success of Jobs’s speech is obvious when viewing it through the lens of communicating instead of public speaking. First, Jobs put the people before the message by reflecting on the issues his audience may be facing (i.e. grappling with disappointment after college). Second, Jobs asked what his audience needed. They didn’t need a “step-by-step process to succeeding,” but instead hope. His audience needed to know that it was okay to make mistakes as long as they learned a lesson from it. He emphasized atmosphere by poking fun at himself and making them feel comfortable. How about change in his listeneres? For years, his audience was more than likely led to believe that success and failure were not mutually exclusive. His audience would be entering the job force with flawed information. Therefore, Jobs was also completing the people by filling in gaps in their understanding of issues that were important in helping them understand the truth about failure
VERSUS
The diagram (below) gives you a snapshot of the six differences between Public Speaking and Communication. Below, I discuss (briefly) what these mean. Please write the definitions in your own words.
Communicators Puts the PEOPLE before the message Asks: What does the audience need? Emphasizes atmosphere Focus is change in the listeners Personal (impact-conscious) Goal: Complete the people
and sucess. Failure and success go together like peanut butter and jelly. They are mutually exclusive and very tasty if balanced correctly. Finally, he was personal (or impact conscious) by sharing his failures. Overall, using a window into his life, Jobs created a mirror for his audience to reflect on an important life lesson we all face but never make sense out of: FAILURE. As a result, his authentic communication spilled over into more audiences than just the crowd that day. His speech was successful because he understood who he was and what he brought to the table. He was a communicator! You’ll find that, for better or for worse, like Steve Jobs, I’m not afraid to be authentic either. However, that wasn’t always the case. When I first started teaching, I had no idea how to address my students. So, I did what I thought I had to do which was “be a public speaker.” I was very image conscious, thinking more about what I had
to offer, putting the message before the students, and completing the message at all costs. Through many challenging semesters I realized that what students want more than anything is authenticity, or a teacher they can relate to. Although students appreciate this, they rarely apply it to their speeches in this class. Why? Students don’t know who they are, nor do they know how to communicate themselves authentically to others. So, let me help you with that. On page 17 of your course pack, you have an identity wheel to fill out. The goal of this assignment is to help you apply the theory of windows and mirrors to this class. You cannot be a communicator if you are not in tune with who you are. Although we may think we understand ourselves in a deep way, it would probably be hard to communicate who you are if I put you on the spot. I want to help you with it by giving you the results of my identity wheel.
MY WINDOW/YOUR MIRROR
LEFT: “Male.” In college I felt like I had to be “strong” and “macho.” The three identifiers that have the biggest effect on who I am are gender, profession, and religion. In all of these identifiers, I’ve learned some valuable lessons that I want to share with you in the “Jobs-Esque” fashion of communicating. Let’s start with gender.
CENTER: “Teacher” As a teacher I felt like I had to look the part. That’s where religion comes into play. When I graduated CMU in 2006, I found religion, specifically Christianity. I felt that Christianity really helped me to understand what it meant to be a male. It’s not about strength, but service instead. I spent the year after graduation really focusing on what it meant to serve people. As a result, I decided to come back to school to become a youth pastor so I could help young men realize who they are is not dependent on anything other than what they want to be. I ended up getting a graduate assistantship teaching here at CMU two years later. I immediately fell in love with teaching and thats’ when I hit my next roadblock: What do teachers act like?
For many years I thought because I identified as a “male” I was supposed to be the “quintessential” macho man we see in action movies. If you look directly above, you can see a picture of me in college trying to “look macho,” I even wore the shirt (sexiest man alive, runner up). I learned the hard way that relying on gender alone was problematic. I did a lot of things that I thought “men” were supposed to do and as a result, I always felt trapped into being macho when really I wanted For the last five years I’ve tried to be someone else at times, but to answer that question. As I I played the role I thought I was already mentioned, my first few supposed to. years were VERY public speaking-
RIGHT: Today I showcase my true colors with all my students. esque. Eventually I let my goofy persona into the classroom (as you can see above). As a result, two years ago I won a prestigous award that actually made me realize an important lesson: I’m not just a teacher, I’m not just male, and I’m not just a Christian. I’m all three of those things and much more. Which leads me to the key of this entire article. You can’t be authentic until you truly realize who you are and for that matter, who you are NOT. This is the take-away: Do not let any singular identity or combination of identities trap you. Allow yourself to be free from the expectations others have on you regardless of your sex, orientation, race, and etc., especially when you speak in this class. Finally, share your story with us just as I have shared my story with you! Use the identity wheel to reflect on this idea based on your results.
THE TAKE-AWAY Chances are you are not going to remember the “six” differences between communicators and public speakers, but you will remember the stories. The key is to learn how to be you without letting people make that assumption for you based on the “recognizeable identifiers” you’ll see or have seen on your identity wheel. You get to choose who you are. When you choose that, you get to share your story. When you share your story, people listen. I hope this brings everything full circle.
plus I don’t judge people based on their gender, sex, religion, and/or sexual orientation. What I judge you on is how well you apply the principles we discuss in this class. I care about helping you shape and reform your identity through the various speech topics you discuss so you can be a stronger communicator. Get started by using the first speech as an opportunity to share who you are with the class. Use a personal story to defend the truth of your proverb or quotation (we’ll talk about this more, don’t worry).
Don’t get so wrapped up in the “public speaking” mentality that is “image conscious” and not “audience focused.” Remember, you bring something VERY important to this class. I want nothing more than for you to begin learning who you are and bring that into your speeches in this class to share your story and what you’ve learned from your experiences. I know it is going to take a LOT of courage, but I believe in you
Be authentic by offering a window into your life so your audience will have a mirror to reflect about themselves. Remember, authentic communicators work hard at this (even if they say otherwise). It was not easy for me to open up, but I did it to model good practice. Don’t worry if this does not come naturally to you. But, don’t let it stop you from truly expressing who you are. It worked for Steve Jobs, right?
REMEMBER you are not alone in learning how to identify yourself. You have me and the rest of the class to help you begin identifying who you are so that WHEN you get up to the podium you can naturally and confidently tell your story. The podium should not be feared but embraced.
REFERENCES Elmore, T. (2012). Habitudes for communicators: Images that form leadership habits & attitudes. Poet Gardners: Atlanta, GA.