The MAD book of Bike Porn

Page 1

Creative Director: Adam Zdanowicz

Fotografie: Adam Zdanowicz, Karol Pahulak, Eric Southerland, Kuya Hoc, Michał Burzyński, Katarzyna Środa

© 2022 MAD Adam Zdanowicz

ACT I

Bikeoholic

noun.

A person addicted to cycling. They cannot control how often they think or talk about their bike(s) and riding them. They are sometimes known to start riding even before breakfast to take the „edge” off the day.

I’m not easily distracted. I just... Oh my God! Do I hear a bike?

A good man will make you feel strong, sexy and ready to take on the world.

Oh wait! Sorry, no. That’s cycling. Cycling will do that.

Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a custom bike. And that’s pretty damn close.

KEEP CALM AND PEDAL ON

A LITTLE BIKE DIES! EVERY TIME YOU SKIP A RIDE

Yep, 100 kilometers. That’s right, on my bicycle. Yep, in one day.

Nah, my butt is fine. Nope, I’m not crazy.

Yes, I know you don’t even like to drive that far.

sometimes I wonder if my bike is thinking about me too

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize that fishing is stupid and boring.

Being a teacher is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire You’re on fire Everything is on fire And you’re in hell.

...I just sit and stare at it.
Sometimes after I wash my bike...

Sometimes I ride my bike to nowhere, to see nothing, just so I can ride my bike.

I’m glad it’s warm enough to ride a bike

since I can no longer afford any other form of transportation.

GREAT MINDS RIDE A BIKE

WE’RE TOTAL F@#KIN’ BADASSES

CUSTOM BIKES

As addictive as cocaine and twice as expensive

BIKE MONTH SHOULD BE EVERY MONTH

LOVE IS LIKE RIDING A BICYCLE

with no training wheels... and no brakes... and no seat... and no tires.

ALWAYS LIVE

ON THE BIKE SIDE OF LIFE

Studies have shown that riding a custom bike everyday makes you more awesome than the general population.

ACT II

Bikesexual

noun.

A person exhibiting strong feelings towards their bike and/or cycling. Usually travels in groups and prefers stylish clothing. Being denied access to their bike could result in withdrawal symptoms.

She asked me to whisper three sexy words in her ear, so I told her...

I’m a Cyclist.

-

Bikes bring you places that cars never see.

„I have too many bikes.” Said no cyclist, ever.
All I want for Christmas I s you Just kidding. Get me bike parts.
you
I’m cute
wait
you see me ride my custom bike.
If
think
now
until

Does this bike make my ass look fast?

To bike or not to bike that is not a question
Life is all about balance. Just keep pedaling.
The best invention after the wheel was putting them two together.
Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry on a custom bicycle than on a regular one.

being sexy

I hate
but I’m a biker so I can’t help it.
If you don’t like custom bicycles then you probably won’t like me.

...and I’m okay with that.

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. „Alright, get in the basket.”
Stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life!
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don’t need any more
There is beauty in silence and there is silence in beauty and you can find both in a bicycle.
Ride as much or as little or as long or as short as you feel BUT RIDE
-Eddy Merckx
All I need is this bike and that other bike and those bikes over there and the bikes in the other room and...

I asked God for a bike but I know he doesn’t work that way. So I stole one and asked for forgiveness.

I got a new bike for my girlfriend. Best trade I ever made.

ACT III

Psyclepath

noun.

A person suffering from a chronic and extreme love of cycling. An unstable individual unable to adjust to society without repeated and lengthy excursions on a bike.

Everyone’s like ”I have to clean the house,” and I’m over here like: ”Let’s go ride bikes!”
Put the fun between your legs

I’M TWO TIRED

Bobby has seven bikes. He just bought two more. What does he have now?

Happiness. Bobby has happiness.

RIDE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT.
I don’t really feel like going for a ride today. Said no custom bicycle rider ever.
I thought of that while riding my bicycle.
- Albert Einstein

My biggest fear is that when I die my wife will sell my bicycles for what I told her they cost.

Dear bike

Just a note to let you know how much I love you. You are my day spa, hair dryer, face cream, mountain mud wrap, psychologist, stress relief, grocery getter & singing practice.

Thanks!
If I fall off my bike and get back on... Am I Re-Cycling?

DEFINE RIDING TOO MUCH

Don’t know if it’s illegal to be handsome and ride a bike at the same time but whatever, I live dangerously.

Fact #532 Cyclists are 10x sexier than everyone else

Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of riding a bike.
-John F. Kennedy

NOBODY IS PERFECT

But if you ride a custom bike, you’re pretty close.

I don’t ride a bike to add days to my life.
I ride a bike to add life to my days!
In case You need me, here’s my schedule this weekend. EAT. SLEEP. RIDE.
Marriage is a wonderful invention. Then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. -Billy Connolly
BICYCLES ARE ALMOST AS GOOD AS GUITARS FOR MEETING GIRLS. -BOB WEIR
SPANDEX is only an option if you are a cyclist. And even then it’s questionable

TONIGHT WE RIDE

www.madbicycles.com

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