On Dit - 77.9 - Comedy Tragedy by On Dit

On Dit Adelaide Uni Student Magazine 77.9

y d e g a r t / comedy

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

comedy/tragedy edition

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

contents contents

AUU Watch Hannah Mattner State of the Union Lavinia Emmett-Grey Current Affairs Shelley Laslett Local Issues Patrick McCabe Jarrod Fitch Lia Svilians Dit-licious Lily Hirsch Fashion Kate Bird Lara Francis Elise Lopez Film Anders Wotzke Literature Alicia Moraw Music Andrew Auld Countney Day Jimmy (Swanny) Clarke Nightlife Ainsley Campbell Arts Sam Deere Science Anna Ehmann Sport Angus Chisholm TV Lauren Roberts Poetry & Short Stories Lauren Lovett Adam Klimkiewicz Pro/Anti-Consumerism Greg Taylor Tristan Adams Marketing William Fisher Design Daniel Brookes

On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editors, The University of Adelaide, or the Adelaide University Union.

All subbies who submit on deadline!

cheers to

the team

On Dit: proudly sponsored by the Adelaide University Union. Woooo.

The Distro team for doing what others cannot True Blood night for making mondays ok for Steph

Vinny’s workmate for giving him a scarf Nick Perry for knocking on our office door and asking to be a proofer. Happy birthday to Steph for the 3rd. It’s depressing that she’s writing this. Lauren Lovett for making pirate badges for Steph & Vinny to wear.

Our lecturers for giving us (future) extensions.

4 5 6 7 8-9 10-13 14-15 16 17 18-19 20-24 25-27 29 30-31 32-33 34-35 36-37 38-39 40-42 44 45 46-47 48-49 50 51

Editorial AUU Watch State of the Union Science Current Affairs Feature Film Shorts Arts Feature Poetry Music Balibo Feature Constitution Article Literature Ditlicious Careers Feature Kevin Carter Feature Local Issues Nightlife Sport Devils Advocate Vox Pop Social Fumblings Market Research EXTRAVAGANZA

Phone: (08) 8202 5404 Email: ondit@adelaide.edu.au Editors: Steph Walker & Vincent Coleman

The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

l ia r o it d e ’ s r o it d e the t with Steph & Vincen Steph Walker In the Metropolis edition I neglected to list my ‘friend’ Tim in my editorial regarding the careers

me. For that, I am sorry.

of some mates. Tim is training to be a paramedic. I say ‘friend’ now because as a result of my slight

In other news, Anders has scored a fantastic

faux pas, I have had the unfortunate experience

interview with Robert Connolly and Damon

of dealing with grudge-holding Tim.

Gameau about the film Balibo (pg 25-27), which should viewed by all students, or at least those

So for any of those who felt let down by the

international/media kids. It’s so good that it’s

lack of Tim in my metro editorial, here’s a

printed in colour!

little info about my very amusing friend: Ben’s article ‘a consideration of crime & Tim lets me watch True Blood at his house.

punishment’ is also well worth the read, not

Tim does not win at Mario Cart or Call of

just for it’s commentary but for it’s enjoyable

Duty, everyone beats him, even Bojana who,

criticisms of Andrew Bolt’s opinion piece in

from what I’ve heard, doesn’t even look at her

The Advertiser.

screen. Tim lets me ride on his motorbike. He

Wikipedia (pg 42) is also highly amusing.

Patrick McCabe’s article on

supports my anonymous donations to a range of charities. Some of this editorial may be

In other news, thanks to cover-model Jake

exagerated. At any rate, he isn’t so bad. I am

Parker for loving the camera. Respect goes out

sorry to everyone else who will now berate me

to photographer Lincoln Rothall for taking lovely

to include them in editorials, this is a one time

photos, and for buying me a beer after the shoot

thing as Tim’s nagging has gotten the better of

was over.

Vincent Coleman Comedy. Tragedy. Ah, the story of my life. I had some grand plans for a double-sided-fliparound edition, but fulltimestudy&work&editing really doesn’t allow for such artsy bollocks. As a matter of fact, never before have we been so inundated with so much amazing content, it was a to jamming it all into a mere 48 pages. Which brings me to the crux of my editorial: We here at On Dit would like to think we make a pretty damn fine publication. Of course we do, it’s our baby and we tend to flip out at people who “constructively criticise” us in the street. Obviously our judgement can be a little skewed. This is where you come in fine reader…

cover costume thanks to -> 4

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

We want to know what YOU think of On Dit. Flip the glossy publication in your hot little hands around and on the inside back page you’ll find a Market Research Survey. Tell us what you think, fair or foul, and you could be one of the 2 lucky readers to receive smashing prizes courtesy of the AUU and Palace Nova.

Tragedy; tired Steph. 11pm August 13

by Hannah Mattner

lections! A ridiculous week, where everyone’s forced to either wear a ‘get lost - I’ve voted’ sticker or to run the gauntlet of overenthusiastic and desperate student politicians every time they leave a building. For those of you who don’t just vote solely for the sticker, here’s a rough run down of the major factions: Activate – is a major player, roughly aligned with the left faction of the federal Labor party. These guys will pretty much always hold on to union property – all their people voted against selling Unibooks this year as well as Unibar last year. They, along with Pulse, were in the bad books with other Board members and myself for the way that they went about securing delegates to the National Union of Students conference. Run by Rhiannon Newman (possibly a candidate for re-election), they’re among the most passionate on Board at the moment and if Lavinia doesn’t run for Board again (and maybe if she does), they’re expected to put up the Presidential candidate for the left. Major votes are discussed prior to meetings, but their only binding votes are for the office bearer positions - President, VP, the executive committee and the finance and development committee.

Other Tickets There are a couple of other tickets around that haven’t been so free with information. A group of students roughly aligned with the Liberal party will probably be running as a coalition of independents, with binding votes on office bearers and a ring around about current votes. These guys are relatively similar in general ideology to the anonymous ticket, and are being organised by current Board member Mark Joyce, who was in favour of the Unibooks sale. In addition, there are probably going to be two different international student factions, though little is known about these.

Indy-Go – are a semi-independent ticket. They’re organised by Lavinia Emmett-Grey, who’s the current Union President, and hasn’t said if she’s re-running. For student politics, this ticket is relatively diverse, spanning many shades of the (extremely passionate) left. They’re more likely to want to keep Union assets, but the diversity makes it hard to be sure in individual cases. It’s a non binding ticket, but agreements on votes for the office bearers are generally made before the meeting where they’re voted on.

The Anonymous Ticket – is the ticket known previously as Pulse. While it’s known that they’re re-branding, the actual name is being kept under tight wraps. The group is traditionally affiliated with Labor Right, and tends to be relatively conservative. Like many of this year’s tickets, they have had an explosion of new candidates from last year. Current Board director Andrew Anson will be organising the ticket, and is the obvious Presidential candidate for the factions from the right. Pulse was alongside Activate in determining NUS delegates this year, and is known for supporting the sale of Unibar in 2008. Andrew supported the vote on the sale of Unibooks this year. The faction has binding votes on office bearer positions, but nothing else during the year.

hile I’ve done my best here, the only way you can really vote well is to talk to a few candidates and ask them some hard questions about what they intend to do, what their opinions are on things like Board ownership of property, constitutional reforms, and any broader topic you can think of. Challenge them before you give away your vote. They may even prove next year that it’s time well spent. The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

As I’m writing this article, I’m also preparing a speech for University Council about the AUU’s Constitution reform which goes to them for consideration on 17th of August. (Yes, I know, this date has long passed by the time you’re reading this – damn deadlines!) You’ll know whether or not this reform has been passed depending on whether you see any information about a Referendum occurring in Week 6. If you do, make sure you check out the draft of the new constitution and the changes suggested which will be available on the AUU website, auu.org.au, in the AUU Reception, or in polling tents. If you don’t hear about a Referendum, then that means that University Council did not assent to it.

that s ’ lavinia

If this is the case, then there is something to be concerned about. University Council has authority to pass or reject the AUU’s Rule or Constitutional amendments. When this works, it means that UC acts like an accountability measure to make sure AUU Board is being responsible. But if it’s misused, it means the University can effectively veto changes in the AUU. Many of the changes in the Constitution are ones necessary to reflect the new legal framework in which the AUU operates. To prevent the AUU Constitution from going to Referendum, when it has been checked by two sets of lawyers, would seem strange. But we’ll know the outcome soon enough! If you’re interested in attending some campus events, the State final of National Campus Band Comp is being held at the Governor Hindmarsh on Thursday 3rd of September, so if you’re interested in live music and want to check out the best student music talent South Australia has to offer, come along. Speaking of events, the AUU is hosting a series of comedy quiz nights throughout August and September. Hosted by a comedian on the Adelaide circuit, the Comedy Quiz Night will test your brain power, as well as having you in stitches! It’s free to enter and there are some great prizes too! Put these dates in your diary: Wed 9 Sept - Equinox Room – Level 4, Union House and Mon14 Sept – Eclipse Room – Level 4, Union House.

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

Coming up as well in week 7 on the 15th to 17th of September is Multicultural Week. Multicultural Week is a tradition at Adelaide Uni which has been happening since 1993 – unfortunately we weren’t able to run it in 2008 but this year it’s back with a vengeance. So keep your eye out for posters around campus and your AUU emails to find out how you can learn about and celebrate the cultural diversity on campus! By the time you’re reading this, Election Week should be happening, my equivalent of Christmas (yes, I’m a bit different from the other kids). I hope you take the time to vote and to make an informed vote. No matter what group they’re running with, candidates put in time and enthusiasm at varying levels. And Election Week can be a fairly tough week if you’re a candidate. So, if you can spare a moment, take the time to listen to their ideas – whether you like it or not, they may end up representing YOU! If you’d like to get in touch with me, either to find out how you can become involved in AUU events, or where you can find me during Election Week to give me a hug, you can email me at lavinia. emmett-grey@adelaide.edu.au.

Lavinia Emmett-Grey

one are the days when doctors handed out Prozac like candy in the name of dysfunctional marriages. And drinking an entire bottle of whisky in one evening no longer bears the same enviable prestige of a martyred marketing executive as it did a few decades ago. Positive thinking and happiness are back in vogue. Indeed, failure to secure personal happiness is now met with such unrestrained horror, not unlike flesh-eating disease, that a new breed of enterprise has emerged. Selfhelp books, positive psychology, laughter therapy and THE Institute for Happiness have sprung up like a virulent rash. I imagine a disclaimer is appropriate here. I have no objections towards pursuing happiness. But the belief that happiness is necessary 24/7 is enough to induce nervous ticks in my left eye. If we were perpetually euphoric, the amount of endorphins floating around our bodies would probably trigger some kind of reaction akin to a heroin overdose. More disconcertingly, depression is now frequently equated with unhappiness, without recognizing the agony inherent in dropping your iPhone down the port-a-loo. Rather than issuing individuals with a replacement, many medical professionals are dishing out antidepressants. Admittedly, there are a large proportion of individuals who are correctly diagnosed. Aside from psychological therapies, drug interventions are the modal course of action. For those who harbour a natural distrust for perfectly round pastel blue pills, food may present itself as a viable alternative. Intuitively, food brings to mind midnight fossicks in the pantry for anything with enough calories to feed a school of starving children in one neatly packaged serving. However, advice from nutritionists suggest otherwise. Research has found that individuals who are prone to depression can improve their mood using food therapy:

Stop the Press! It appears that the Science article of Fractals in the Metropolis Edition of On Dit (77.7) was actually written by Lauren Watkins, not our lovely Anna as credited. Apologies to Lauren for the misprint, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go and read it in On Dit Metropolis, it’s absolutely smashing. (Looks like we editors need a quick diet reassessment too!)

e e i nc

Curb That Sweet Tooth: anyone who’s ever pulled an all nighter would appreciate the charm of a bag of sweets. Pop a couple of those and your mind’s buzzing for the next 10 minutes. Keep doing that and you might just remember how photosynthesis works for the exam the next day. Unfortunately, the sugar high is accompanied by a slump and for individuals experiencing depression, this can acutely lower mood. Interestingly, artificial sweeteners don’t present the same problem. So if the sweet tooth bites, chew a few Splenda pellets instead. De-caffeinate: Studies have shown that some depressed people depend on caffeine to lift their blues. This can often lead to over-consumption which is a killer for the kidneys. Moreover, it can aggravate feelings of anxiety and frustration. Rooibos is an alternative to caffeinated drinks like tea or coffee. Still tastes like tea minus the caffeine and double the antioxidants. Knock Out The Fat!: As seductive as full cream milk and buttered scones might be, research has indicated that a low-fat diet can help stabilise mood. The State University of New York in Stony Brook conducted a study a few years ago involving 305 individuals who consumed diets where only 20-30% of the calories came from fats. They found that the individuals reported both lowered cholesterol and a decrease in feelings of depression and hostility. Fishing For Happiness: Not all fats are bad for the body and mind. Research has consistently shown that omega-3 fatty acids, found in deep ocean fish are effective in combating symptoms of depression. If the flavour of salmon doesn’t appeal, there’s always fish oil capsules. Though swallowing them without some trauma to the throat is a rarity.

with Anna

Go Nuts!: Selenium is a mineral in B-complex supplements that is effective in improving mood. Researchers at the Swansea University of Wales found that 100mg a day of selenium can decrease feelings of fatigue and anxiety, with observable results after a period of 2-5 weeks. If you don’t fancy pill popping, chow down some brazil nuts. They’re full of selenium and may or may not come from Brazil. But don’t go overboard because excessive intake (greater than 400 micrograms) can cause serious medical problems. Vitamin C: The beauty of vitamin C is that you can rarely overdose on it (that and the fact that the tablets taste marvellously of oranges). The body generally requires only 1000 milligrams a day but since excess vitamin C is flushed out in our daily trips to the loo, having half a bottle won’t affect much harm (though bloating and diarrhoea have been reported). For individuals on antidepressants, it’s important to have a chat with your doctor before plundering the chemist. Vitamin C can interfere with the absorption of tricyclic antidepressants so don’t self medicate. And if all fails, chew on an Oreo and pretend it’s a carrot. Self-delusion never tasted so good.

Kathleen Wang

- Vincent, Ed. The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

A Consideration of Crime and Punishment Outrage at a decision made by our justice system. The wrong kind of message has been sent. Disgust at the loss of standards in our community. Weighing in by the always vocal Rann government. Sound familiar? The recent ‘technical rape’ case, much publicised and occurring in the wake of the Matthew Johns group sex ‘scandal,’ has re-ignited debate regarding issues of consent, responsibility, and the legal system. In this case, Matthew Sloan was charged with rape after continuing to perform a sex act on a woman who had first consented but subsequently passed out, fell asleep, or otherwise lost consciousness. Judge David Smith, presiding over the case, postponed his decision because he wanted more time to consider whether Sloan’s actions warrented a conviction for the crime of rape, which Smith described as “a horrible offence.” The judge suggested that, in contrast, what had occured was “a technical rape.” Outrage came from institutions and individuals whose work involves giving support to victims of sexual assault. This is understandable. They hear a judge using the phrase ‘technical rape’ and immediately wish to condemn the idea that any rape might be somehow mitigated or excused. The message being sent, for them, is that a woman need not give continued sexual consent: one yes is enough, and allows a man indefinite access. And, more broadly, they are disturbed at the way such a message echoes the suggestion that 8

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

words by B. Adams

certain rape victims have ‘brought it on themselves’ by flirting or dressing provocatively. They are right to be wary of any such echo, since the defence that ‘she was asking for it’ seems to reflect more on the minds of socially insecure and sexually frustrated men, rather than any clearheaded understanding of individual responsibility or respect for others. A woman can dress and act however she wants: the men around her remain responsible for their actions. To suggest otherwise is pathetic. Similarly, the idea that a woman, because she initially consents to sex, has thereby given automatically continuing consent does appear to be, as Karen Willis of the NSW Rape Crisis Centre described it, “a bit of a no-brainer.” Obviously, as with any other activity, a person reserves the right to stop having sex at any point. After all, it’s just a thing two people do (or three, or more: however many willing adults you want) and if one of those people changes their mind midway, then it’s time to stop. Sex does not involve some kind of contractual obligation. As I have said, anger at the idea of excusing rape is perfectly understandable, particularly from those who work closely with rape victims and see first-hand the physical and emotional traumas they suffer. But I believe it is, in this instance, misdirected. Judge David Smith’s decision to give himself more time in which to re-consider the case should not be, in itself, controversial. His use of the term ‘technical rape’ was highly ill advised.

This being said, the idea that there can be different degrees of seriousness within the same category of criminal offence seems uncontentious. Aggravated assault occasioning bodily harm is seen as more serious, and will carry a heftier sentence, than a simple barroom shove. Thus the belief that Sloans should be punished less severely than a man who engages in forced intercourse with a woman using physical coercion or threats of violence is, I would suggest, a reasonable one. Even if both crimes are considered rape, can we not still consider them rapes of differing degrees, meriting different degrees of punishment? But this is not the problem, The problem is that, for many, Smith’s comments implied that what Sloan did was not rape at all, since part of why the judge wanted more time was to consider removing the charge of rape altogether, rather than simply imposing a light sentence, or a suspended one. However, Smith’s concern was that, if a charge of rape was attached to Sloan’s record, the implications of it for his future work and travel prospects would automatically outweigh, in terms of punishment, the seriousness of his crime. It does not suggest he did nothing wrong. He did. But our legal system is built on the idea that there are degrees of wrong, and that punishments should be carefully weighed to fit the crime. This careful weighing is what the judge appears to have done.

current affairs feature And then there is the conservative opinion. As usual, the conservative voice manages to bring together the most misguided and offensive aspects of all sides in this discussion. Andrew Bolt, in his column for the Advertiser, suggests both that women must take more responsibility for themselves (i.e. that the victim ‘was asking for it’ because of her original consent) and that, in any case, group sex, drunken sex, parklands sex and, I presume, any kind of sex other than marital missionary is sinful. Not simply immoral, mind you. Mr Bolt uses the biblical term. “Are women really so helpless that men must take the full blame for their foolishness?” he asks, before answering that “Being conservative, I won’t object too much if that’s indeed what we conclude.” Charming. Drunken sex may be occasionally ungraceful, but I don’t think we need to start sending the ungraceful off to hell. Yes, individuals must take responsibility for themselves, men and women alike. But consenting to sex, drunken or not, is not an excuse for rape, ‘technical’ or otherwise. Matthew Sloan’s actions appear to fall into a grey area, and I therefore believe it is appropriate for a judge to seek more time in considering what sentence to impose. Bolt’s column, however, seems to be less concerned with the specifics of this case than with his general disgust

at the state of society. He seems to imply that, even if the circumstances of the case made the charge of rape utterly unquestionable, blame would still be justifiably assigned to the woman or, perhaps, to the general state of society. With some trepidation, I therefore invite Mr Bolt come out one night, have a drink, lighten up, and learn to show some respect for women, for their right to say no, their right to say yes and, indeed, for anybody’s right to say no or yes or whatever they damn well please. I also note that, in the week after this case hit the front pages, there was further confusion raised about the nature of what occurred. Originally, it had been reported that the woman had fallen asleep “during foreplay - which Sloan continued despite her being unconscious.” But the prosecution subsequently altered its agreement that sexual activity had occurred before the woman lost consciousness, stating: “There seems to be a misunderstanding and…we need some time to resolve that.” From the imprecise nature of reports on the matter, it is unclear what exactly this means. Obviously, if the woman had never consented to sexual activity at any stage, the case would be that much clearer and Sloan’s actions that much more deserving of rape charges.

more time to consider a difficult decision should not be seen as somehow endorsing or encouraging the crime of rape, which is, as the judge described, a truly horrible offence. It seems to me that his unfortunate use of the term ‘technical rape’ was meant only to describe the grey-area occupied by this case, to highlight the legal necessity of equally balancing crime and punishment. The most interesting part of all this, for me, is the Rann government response. Attorney General Michael Atkinson has spoken in support of Judge Smith, stating that his careful consideration shows our justice system working as it should and demonstrates the disadvantages of mandatory sentencing, in which the merits of individual cases would not be considered. All well and good. A very appropriate response from the executive branch who should, in all but the most extreme and unusual situations, keep their judicial opinions to themselves. On child molestation. On bail issues. On bikie gangs. Leave prosecuting, convicting and sentencing criminals to the prosecutors, juries and judges. I congratulate the attorney general on his considered response to this case. If only he picked his words so carefully more often.

The point of this article, though, has been to suggest that a judge taking

A Consideration of Crime and Punishment The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

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The Girlfriend Experience (MA) words by Reb Mery My second visit to the aisles of this year’s Melbourne International Film Festival, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Steven Soderbergh’s (‘Oceans 11’, ‘Solaris’) newest offering. I knew it would be about a high-class Manhattan escort, portrayed by successful porn actress Sasha Grey (who, I noted with interest, is my age). Apart from that however, I wasn’t sure what was in store for me, other than my friend’s claim that it was a “reaction against” the Ocean’s franchise which had brought Soderbergh so much box office success in recent years. Indeed, it is - that much was clear from the opening seconds of the film. ‘Experience’ is all the sometimes out of focus, awkward and improvised dialogue, interestingly framed shots that the Oceans films are not. Objects and people are deliberately out of frame, or out of focus, then suddenly appear again. The camerawork is gorgeous, yet notably hand-held.

Lake Mungo (M) Even though fabricated documentaries - dubbed mockumentaries - have been around for a while, they really only garnered mainstream appeal in 2001 with the acclaimed British sitcom ‘The Office’ starring Ricky Gervais (I’m choosing to disregard ‘Spinal Tap’ for arguments sake). Success struck again in 2006 with ‘Borat’, Sacha Baron Cohen’s crude dissertation of American culture, and the hilarious Australian mock-doc ‘Kenny’, which followed around a plumber as he installed portable toilets. But note that each of these examples, like nearly all mockumentaries, double as comedies. This is why director Joel Anderson’s feature debut ‘Lake Mungo’ is such an inspired piece of filmmaking. Not only is it a mockumentary, but it’s also a horror film, and a damn effective one at that. Credibly told via an assortment of talking heads, ‘Mungo’ recounts the drowning of troubled sixteen yearold Alice Palmer (Talia Zucker) in a

Awkward pauses abound. This isn’t a film for those who shy away from what is a little “artsy”. Christine/Chelsea (Grey) is a successful escort, earning thousands per hour, seeing to the needs of wealthy businessmen who haven’t the time for the real girlfriend experience. Set in 2008, Chelsea’s clients complain and whine to no end about the upcoming election, and especially the global financial crisis. They’re earning less nowadays, they’re losing clients and are terrified that their lifestyle might have to change. Chelsea in turn, listens patiently, listlessly. She’s doing very well for herself, wanting to expand her business and earn even more.

★★★

disjointed and confusing plot, and who are not deterred by somewhat of a lack of plot in exchange of a more meandering and thoughtful filmic experience, Soderbergh gives much to chew on. I myself wandered at for at least a couple cigarettes’ worth of time after the screening, taking in the subtleties of what ol’ Steven had explored with his strange and detached character study and wondered how on earth someone keeps something from being so boring and slow to the point of painful and instead brings a thought-provoking and aesthetically beautiful film to the table instead.

‘Experience’ is a film that leaves one thinking after the end credits have rolled - if you’re into that kind of thing. For those who enjoy being entranced by beautiful cinematography, who are not put off by a chronologically

words by Anders Wotzke

★★★★½

dam near Ararat, Victoria. Whilst her body is positively identified by police, Alice’s parents, Russell and June (David Pledger and Rosie Traynor), and younger brother, Matthew (Martin Sharpe), are convinced her ghostly presence still lingers in their house. Every time this slow-burning thriller appears to be running out of wick, Anderson’s screenplay drops in an unexpected twist with impeccable timing. There’s a lot more to this ghost story than what first meets the eye, and its steady drip-fed method of storytelling, delivered via an entire cast of natural performances, makes compelling use of its 90 minute running time.

more remarkable is that Anderson delivers genuine chills with next to no gore, few jump scares and all on a meagre budget. As such, ‘Mungo’ is essentially the antithesis of a typical Hollywood horror, and yet it works far more effectively than most. Why? Because it feels genuine, which helps make ‘Lake Mungo’ one of the most compelling and suspenseful horrors to emerge in recent years.

It’s somewhat remarkable the film is as engaging and atmospheric as it is considering there isn’t all that much action or drama, given most of the film consists of interviews, snippets of grainy video footage and a number of blurry photos. But what’s even

On Dit The Adelaide Student Magazine 10 Anders, m with Film withUni Anders, Film with Anders, Film with Anders, Film with Anders, Film with Anders, Film with Anders, Film with Anders, Film with Ande

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Beautiful Kate (M) words by Anders Wotzke I can’t remember the last time I walked out of an Australian film sporting a smile. That’s not to say they’re bad; on the contrary, the industry is at the top of its game in terms of quality. It’s just that they have been all doom and gloom of late, and ‘Beautiful Kate’ makes no effort to be an exception. Exploring a cocktail of dark and controversial themes, the film revolves around a dysfunctional family still trying to come to terms with a 20 year old tragedy. It’s certainly tough viewing, but Rachel Ward’s feature debut is a superbly executed and deeply affecting piece of Australian cinema. Replacing the original American setting with a uniquely Australian one, Ward’s screen adaptation of Newton Thornburg’s novel follows writer Ned Kendall (Ben Mendelsohn) who, upon being asked by his younger sister Sally (Rachel Griffiths), returns to his outback home after twenty years to make peace with his dying

Cedar Boys (MA) Australia’s crime and its underworld are wealthy sources full of story ideas, but while TV audiences have been recently spoilt with the likes of Underbelly and East West 101 moviegoers have hardly received the same treatment. The same seems to apply with ethnic representations; characters with European backgrounds largely outweigh those of Middle Eastern descent. With Sydney’s drug scene as the focus of Cedar Boys we see young Lebanese-Australians enter the criminal world to make a quick buck but it’s clear that they’re not the bad guys. So are Tarek (Les Chantery) and mates Nabil (Buddy Dannoun) and Sam (Waddah Sari) Muslim? “What does it matter?” Exactly. They’re just three Aussie guys doing what they do. While Serhat Caradee’s breakout film does draw on some masculine, and perhaps ethnic stereotypes – the flashy Subaru cars, pumping the hard r&b, checking out girls – he handles

★★★★

father (Bryan Brown). As soon as he arrives, vivid memories of his troubled upbringing come flooding back, mostly regarding his close relationship with his twin sister Kate (Sophie Lowe). Whilst Ned would like to blame his callous father as the catalyst for the tragic events that lead to Kate’s death, he is burdened with guilt from dark secret that has left him deeply scared since he was sixteen.

first-person viewpoint during these sequences does exceptionally well to make the confronting nature of the film feel somewhat personal to the audience, not voyeuristic (despite the almost gratuitous amount of nudity), as we become Ned’s eyes and ears. As unsettling as it gets, solace can be found in Tex Perkins’ harmonious score and Andrew Commis’ intimate cinematography.

Ben Mendelsohn is easily one of Australia’s finest dramatic actors, who effortlessly manages to instill all manner of sentiment into every utterance; guilt, anger, anxiety, tenderness, sarcasm… it’s all there. Yet it’s newcomer Sophie Lowe as beautiful Kate who sits central to the film’s success. In a number of seamlessly intertwined flashbacks, Lowe seduces the camera with her radiant looks and charming naivety, evolving her character in many unexpected ways. The

words by Katina Vangopoulos

★★★★

the ups and downs of these three men evenly to show that there are stereotypes with everybody wherever you go. The choice to steal drugs and sell them isn’t for the cred, or for the thrill; for Tarek, whose job as a panelbeater isn’t enough, it’s simply to bail his brother out of jail. How Caradee weaves the story provides the most insight as culture differences come into the fore.

theme of materialism come full circle - the boys feel they need the money almost as much as these women feel they need the coke. It’s a sick, sad world, and Caradee shows us exactly that. Filmed on the newest of digital cameras, grainy and shaky shots go hand in hand to create an awkward and tense world where everyone is kept on their toes.

Drugs have been portrayed as a deal-breaker in Aussie films before (see Candy) and in Cedar Boys, while Caradee keeps us at a distance he lets us see enough to suggest that the drugs are really the foundation of a one-sided relationship. The film is sad not just because of the boys’ situation (most notably Tarek’s loss of direction), but because we’re reminded that some women feel they need the security of a substance to feel normal. Exploring the idea that it’s not delinquents but those with stable jobs that want the drugs makes the

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The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

Dramedy

Film feature by Joel Parsons

Simple genre maths. Drama + Comedy = Dramedy. One might contend that “dramedy” sounds like an offhand buzzword spouted by some Hollywood executive during a pitch for a wretched television soap. To an extent one would be correct. Television certainly has had its way with the dramedy idea. M*A*S*H*, Scurbs, Gilmore Girls, Sex and The City, and even The Sopranos have been labelled as belonging to the dramedy or serio-comedy genre. But the dramedy, that is the balancing of both levity and seriousness in a single narrative, is not purely a child of television. Playwrights of the late 18th century including Henrik Ibsen blurred the boundaries between Comedy and Drama in their works, paving the way for… Gilmore Girls. Films of recent years have certainly explored the dramedy idea vigorously, and there are many fine examples. Thus, in the honourable tradition of 20 to 1 I bring you an outrageously biased and completely arbitrary countdown featuring the 5 most memorable dramedies (I’ve yet to run it by a cavalcade of B-list celebrities).

Election (1999)

Who would have thought that a teen movie could be a satirical microcosm of American politics? On reflection it is ideal. High school elections frequently rival any American Presidential campaign in tragedy and triumph. Election stars Reese Witherspoon as determined and overzealous school student Tracy Flick. Running unopposed, brandishing cupcakes and badges emblazoned with “pick Flick”, she seems destined to become the next school captain. Teacher Jim McAllister (Mathew Broderick) encourages popular jock Paul Metzler (Chris Klein) to stand against her. Paul’s embittered Sister Tammy (Jessica Campbell) decides to stand also, and captures the student cohort’s imagination after a rousing speech of apathy proclaiming that she doesn’t give a shit. Infuriated by the possibility of loss, Tracy sabotages competing campaign banners and ditches the evidence. The plot full of affairs, lies, and electoral fraud, the characters snap and bend under the tension, but there is always an obvious sense of mirth. The studio responsible for Election was MTV films. The snappy editing and wry character narration, guarantee this is not forgotten.

Lost in Translation (2003)

As its title suggests, Lost in Translation, is all about alienation and disconnection. Alienation in love, language, and culture. Bob Harris (Bill Murray) is a fading Hollywood star who has travelled to Tokyo to appear in a whisky commercial. Also staying at Bob’s hotel is Charolotte (Scarlett Johansson), wife to famous photographer John (Giovanni Ribisi), who is absent and frequently leaves her alone in the big city. After a chance encounter at the bar of the hotel, Bob and Charlotte orchestrate a “prison break”, which involves them sharing various experiences in Tokyo. Written and directed by Sofia Coppola, the film reflects the modern paradox of oppressive loneliness suffered in cities of full people. Often there are long sequences of silence shared by characters, and this nicely contrasts the chaos of Tokyo. But it isn’t all melancholy and dreariness, as fleeting moments of humour punctuate the film. Bob’s appearance on a stereotypically hyperactive Japanese variety show is wonderful and language barriers provide much humour throughout. 12

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film feature

Lost in Translation (2003) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Directed by Michel Gondry and written by Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind gives you a belated impression of the its impending quirkiness by delaying the opening credits until 20 minutes in. Jim Carrey plays Joel Barish, who one day, casting aside the shackles of his mundane routine, impulsively catches a train to Montauk, New York. There he meets blue-haired Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet), and they soon become a couple. After two years, their relationship waning, Clementine seeks the services of the curious Lacuna company, which specialises in the erasing of people’s memories. When Joel attempts to reconcile with Clementine, she has no recollection of him and he opts for a similar procedure. While the erasing is taking place he recalls the pleasant moments of their relationship and the pair run about in Joel’s subconscious as he tries to save her from deletion. Kaufman’s screenplay is perfectly suited to Gondry’s style, who employs many of his tricks to bring the surreal narrative to life. There are not really lol moments, rather one simply smiles constantly in response to many of the film’s visual treats. Winslet and Carrey run through relentlessly changing landscapes and splash about in an oversized kitchen sink, as perspective is manipulated to give the impression that they are children.

Adaptation (2002)

What does one do when one is Charlie Kaufman and cannot write a screenplay for writers block? One writes Adaptation, which features a screenplay about the process of trying to write a screenplay, and in turn how the former was written (albeit with several fantastic elements thrown in, such as non-existent twin siblings and crocodiles). Kaufman seems to have cornered the kooky dramedy market, and Adaptation is one of those films that demands to be seen to be understood. The narrative jumps about in time; endlessly self-referential, the plot becomes quite involved. Meryl Streep and Nicolas Cage are excellent, as they quickly alternate between performing dialogue laden with musings on existence and the nature of life, deadpan satire, and sardonic farce. Every cinematic cliché is criticised in the film, yet every cliché is utilised. Smart, ridiculous and brilliant.

American Beauty (1999)

Originally starting life as a play, American Beauty encourages the viewer to “look cloaser” and submerges the audience below the shiny surface of suburbia, into the rotting undergrowth. Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) is an overworked advertising executive – a self-described loser. Married to the ambitious and highly-strung Carolyn (Annette Benning), their daughter Jane (Thora Birch) suffers from low self-esteem. After developing an erotic fixation on his daughter’s Lolita-esque friend, Angela Hayes (Mena Suvari), Lester is soon in the midst of a midlife crisis. Lester envisages Jane levitating and bathing in rose-petals, and subsequently quits his job, buys a set of retro hot-wheels, starts working out and smoking pot. Frequently the characters misinterpret what they perceive, and act on this to their detriment, pulling the drama along. American Beauty is at its heart a tragedy but watching the transformation of the characters from flat suburbanites to their eventual selves, particularly Lester, is subtly amusing. Visually, American Beauty is stunning. The soundtrack is a lesson in well… how to create a brilliant film soundtrack. The combination of these elements manages to transform a plastic bag floating in the wind, filmed through ugly DV camera, into an astonishingly beautiful moment. The dialogue is sharp, and the witty yet often-poignant narration by Spacey ensures the film is no loser. The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

short stories section

words by vivienne milk. a sexy bikini advertisement is on the television. the bikinied women are sitting in a spa, holding glasses of champagne. the television advertisers haven’t bothered to fill the spa with water. the women are seated in an empty spa. perhaps the advertisement is supposed to remind society about water restrictions. when you were small, before water restrictions even existed, you and your mother would bathe together. your mother would wash your hair and ask you about your dreams for the future. here on the couch, with a sexy commercial and a bowl of cereal, you are far from reaching your dreams. your main childhood dream was to grow up and become a vietnamese person. you look at your reflection in your cereal spoon. you have not achieved vietnamese-ity. you put the spoon back in the bowl. you decide to have a shower. in the shower you squeeze all of the shampoo out into your palm. you wipe your palm onto your chest. you watch the shampoo slide down your chest and find solace in various bodily crevices. you pick up a razor. you don’t want to shave. you don’t want to shave your legs or your face. you hold the razor firmly. you put the handle end into your throat in an attempt to vomit up everything you have eaten today. you make vomiting sounds but nothing eventuates. the razor isn’t long enough. you decide to do something spontaneous, something crazy. spontaneity will make you feel more alive, more motivated. spontaneity will allow you to achieve your main childhood dream. actually, no, it wont.

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you spontaneously put the razor in your mouth, shaving end first. you take it out. you fill your mouth with cream and put the razor back in again. you shave back and forth along your tongue. you feel more alive than lance armstrong. you are lying to yourself, all you feel is stinging. the stinging of the tiny razor cuts on the inside of your mouth.

nursed. you pick up your romance novel: petroleum lust. the character lorraine is in lust with a petrol station employee. his name is barry. if you ever have a child you will demand that your partner agrees to call the child barreth. this is because barreth is a combination of your two favourite names, barry and garreth. your father’s name is garreth.

you wish that you could be spontaneous, like other people, like teenagers and rock stars. you wish you could just walk up to someone in the street and slap them in the face or kick their bag of groceries. you wish you could laugh as all their potatoes fell out of their bag and onto the road, causing a traffic accident. you wish you could pour milk into your coffee and then pour the rest over your face, mopping it up with bread that you then would eat. eat and enjoy. you wish you could make yourself a sandwich and then smear the excess sandwich spread across your face. you wish you would not care about the trans fats in the spread seeping into every one of your facial pores. you wish, you wish that you could confidently tell people that you are proud of the fact that you draw faces on fresh produce in order to feel less alone.

sometimes you tell people that your father died in the war. when they ask which war, you say the most significant one, the one in which your father died. if people enquire further you just pretend to cry, this always stops the inquiries. immediately. your father is not dead. he lives interstate with a firmed arsed lady. you pretend, to your mother, that your father’s lady friend is unattractive. secretly you think that your father’s partner has the most beautiful arse you have ever seen. your mother’s arse is terrible. you have often prayed that your mother’s arse is not hereditary.

you wipe away the cream and the shampoo and the water from your body. you stand in the bathroom and look at your face in the mirror. you pretend that you are hosting a self-help workshop. you tell your reflection that it is beautiful. you tell the mirror that it is reflecting a highly significant person in society. you tell yourself it, all of it, will be alright. you go back to bed to nurse your wounds. once in bed you are unsure of how shaving cuts on your tongue are supposed to be

in your sleep, you dream of masseur sandals. the type that you see in the chemists. you dream that you are lying atop a masseur sandal that is as big as your body. you dream that each masseur nodule is really a person that you know. as you lay across the peopled sandal, all the nodules hug every inch of your body. they hug you and tell you that they think you are a wonderful person. a special person. a person that they, the nodules, love very much. the nodules underneath the small of your back chant in unison. they are chanting each letter of your name. when they have finished spelling out your name, the nodules press deeper into the small of your back. they do this because they want to hug you as tightly as they can, in order to cement their loving feelings.

RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN BUT NOT IN HALF

short stories section

words by Adam Marley When I solicit my brain for the most comedic and/or most tragic moments of my life, it invariably ignores the details of said request and instead conjures the most tragically comedic recollection I posses. Go figure. The year was 1991, Thomas the Tank Engine had recently nominated The Fat Controller for The Biggest Loser, and Gumby was bringing sexy back. Two 4 year olds became the best of friends whilst attending the same kindergarten, which was convenient as they lived a mere two-minute walk from one another (and, as it was the 90s, they were in very little danger of anything nasty happening to them en route). Now these two young lads were typical children, that is to say, they weren’t particularly rebellious or wantonly destructive (however, whilst you continue to read, bear in mind kindergarten was an inordinately dull place). For example: an average day began with writing your name, proceeded with: making a letter holder from paper plates, eating orange eighths, and falling asleep. This may have been enough to entertain a four year old for a few weeks, but soon enough kindergarten boiled down to: the playground, sandpit, and any communal pets the institution might have owned. As ‘typical’ children, our antagonists enjoyed their time on the playground – at first. I’m remiss to say even the wondrous slippery-dip and

monkey-bars lost their allure rather quickly. The sandpit? For some reason was out-of-bounds even with adult supervision. Perhaps a child was buried alive the year before? Perhaps not, either way: not an option (trust me – we tried). The budding duo was left with but one choice, the kindergarten’s resident guinea pig. Naturally, adult supervision was prescribed during all guinea pig visiting times (which were rather rare). If one was to adhere to the official guinea pig policy, one would undoubtedly get stuck in line behind smelly-Mc-wets-himself only to receive a (closely monitored) ten second pat of Gilbert the Guinea Pig – hardly worth it. It was only logical that during one particular recess, our duo decided to sneak off to see Gilbert uninterrupted in his (rather shortsightedly planned) secluded habitat, complete with hutch, miniature fence and gate. What happened next is a little hazy... I was keeping watch by the fence. My best friend Patrick was patting Gilbert first. Everything was going to plan; our caper was (so far) successful. Then it happened: Gilbert bit Patrick,

Patrick dropped Gilbert, Gilbert ran for the (accidentally left open) gate, I sprang into action and shut the gate... Apparently God doesn’t like guinea pigs, but loves unfortunate timing. R.I.P Gilbert the Guinea Pig.

Adam with an alive pet The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

arts

JPEG Girls I

f the subsequent interview doesn’t sufficiently paint me as being somewhat inexpert with anything remotely resembling culture, I should probably qualify that up until quite recently I had no idea what the hell a zine was. While I’ve been struggling with what some would consider the relatively simple task of dropping the first two syllables from a word, local artist Margaret Lloyd has been working on her zine JPEG Girls. Figuring that there’d probably be an interesting story behind it, I turned up at the launch to lose my zine virginity. I’m still no expert on zines, but there was an interesting story…

So for the uninitiated, can you explain what a ‘zine’ is? A zine is like a little magazine but it’s self-produced. It’s sort of the individual stuff you write yourself and you can’t get published anywhere else, or if you want to release something to just your friends, or the local community. It’s a good way to get out some independent thought. There are drawing zines and photography zines and ones that are purely essays. Tonight is the launch of your zine JPEG girls, but I’ve also noticed there’s a whole bunch of artwork on the walls. Do the two things go hand in hand? The zine is about bisexuality. It’s about how I collected tons and tons of images – just from browsing the internet and saving random pictures I liked – and discovering that I’d saved a lot of pictures of girls. One night I freaked out about being bisexual, and deleted all those images. And then I wrote about it, and started saving the [images] again, and got back my folder full of pretty girls. So all the drawings are based on those pictures.

Was that process of coming to terms with your own sexuality a defining moment for you as an artist? Yes, because it’s totally forced me to be honest. For one, I accidentally invited my mum to this show, and she didn’t know about me [being bisexual], so I had to tell her before she came here and found everything. It turns out that she was incredibly accepting. I thought I would keep this a secret for life. So now I’m honest with myself, and I’m making art that is about stuff that I’m passionate about. Who are you hoping to share this project with? I’m at the start of my artistic career, so I’m just trying to put art into the local community and see who likes it and who responds to it, and what they respond to in it. But I like sharing things, and art gets a bit exclusive when it’s in galleries, which is why I think the written word, and especially zines are a good way to get things out to a larger audience. So yeah, everyone. Would you consider using new media or the Internet to extend your work, given that the genesis of some of this work was on the Internet? It’s kind of complicated; I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the Internet. I’d consider putting stuff online, but I like having physical things, like a book to read or something like that. I just think it’s so much more personal when you’re not reading off a screen.

words by Sam Deere

According to Margaret, the JPEG Girls exhibition is going to be on for two weeks, hosted by the Format Collective’s Zine Store, Level 1, 240 Rundle St (opposite Vego and Loving It). If my maths is correct, that means until August 13 (which means that when this magazine goes to print it’s going to be well and truly over). Just in case, opening hours are 3pm-6pm. If you’re keen to get in touch about Margaret’s art, try to send her your message by projecting onto the astral plane, or, failing that, email margaretlloyd.art@gmail.com

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feature

A Happy Death. by /mr_metaphor. M

ost of us are born screaming. Even those who come out with a softer nature are still smacked into a cold existence by a gloved doctor’s hand. And when we die, we’ll likely do it quietly and with our eyes closed. Or at the very least, we’ll be that way when the casket is shut. It goes without saying that life is ‘good’ and death is ‘bad’, but when we have nothing to compare them to but the other, maybe we’re stuck between a rock and hard place. What we need is a world other than our own in which to compare the two. If not Life, can we use Art? If not a matter of life & death, what about Comedy & Tragedy? If we’re asked if life is either a comedy or a tragedy, the obvious answer is ‘both’. Life begins, life ends, and in the short space between, we perpetually pendulum between the opposing masks of the world’s stage. Hand in hand, Life and Art may imitate each other, but we must remember that life came first, and it was art that saw to split the world in two. If we already know that life is good and death is bad, can we instead ask why comedy is funny and tragedy sad? Having already blended life and death, can we combine tragedy and comedy? I think is what people are on about when they mention ‘The Absurd’. We are the only species that can see how insignificant we are considering the width of space and the short time we have. That makes life a tragedy in the sense that nothing we ever do can be meaningful in the grand scheme of things. But at the same time, this means we’re able to make the world full of whatever meaning we want. Albert Camus, in The Myth of Sisyphus describes the ultimate absurd hero. In ancient Greek myth, Sisyphus was a king who mocked the gods and cheated Death, locking him up so that no human could die. As punishment for his insolence, Sisyphus was forced in the Underworld to repeatedly roll the same boulder up and down the same hill for the rest of eternity. Camus said that as tragic as this repetitive and futile labour is, there must be times when Sisyphus feels pride, honour and even joy in his task.

If your world is nothing but a rock and a hard place, there’s no reason to judge it by any standards outside of your world. Likewise, does it really matter if our lives are ultimately meaningless, if we have to look outside of our lives to see it that way? We will laugh, and cry. We both live and die, but we can revel in it all. A tragic death may still be beautiful if it means as much as the life that led it. It is fitting that Camus’ death was so absurd- a random, sudden car crash without rhyme or reason. Better still was the death of Friedrich Nietzsche, who was apparently responsible for killing God just before the dawn of the 20th century, thus landing us all into this Absurd & Abysmal mess. Nietzsche may have officially died at the age of fifty-five in 1900, but his last eleven years were spent in a mad delirium convinced he was either Dionysus, Jesus, Bhuddha, or Alexander the Great depending on the hour. Back when he was himself, Nietzsche, great despiser of Christianity, mocked that if we are expected to love our enemies we can be forgiven for hating our friends. Hate them he should, for after Nietzsche’s second death, his best friend Peter Gast published a bastardised version of Nietzsche’s notebooks, edited and altered to serve his own ends. His sister was an even greater bastard, warping Nietzsche’s works into Nazi propaganda powerful enough to have Hitler attend her funeral in 1935. On January 3rd 1889, the day that Nietzsche lost his mind eleven years before his body, sources say he collapsed after throwing himself in front of a horse that was being whipped by its owner. This is how we should remember Nietzsche’s death, if we are to judge him by his own standards. A tragic event because he lost everything and the act itself gained nothing, but nevertheless beautiful in its own right. When Nietzsche wrote that “some of us are born posthumously”, he meant that history grants some of us immortality only after our own time has passed. And if we can become immortal once dead, perhaps we can each fittingly die long before we lose our life.

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Why choose freedom when you can have Beyond Free? By Peach Howey-Lenixxh

“Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down”

Ever since 2003, and despite certain contemporary ideas about what poetry should be, a number of Adelaide Uni students have been busy quietly ditching free verse, getting their Shakespeare, Keats and Donne on, and hitting up some traditional rhythm and meter. Oh yes, yester-year is as today as ever if you ask the many students of Tom Burton, who runs ‘Reading and Writing Poetry’ (a close reading English Studies course at uni). The course involves students of poetry learning the craft of traditional rhythm and meter through creative exercises and writing their own poems, the best of which find themselves in the end-of-semester published anthology, Beyond Free. Upon interviewing Dr Burton, it’s wonderful to see his face light up with pride when talking about the efforts of his students: “In the beginning, I had a mindset to regard the creative exercises as mere exercises, not poems. However, the efforts of some students were simply marvellous! It was clear that in their efforts to, for example, write a sonnet or ballad, many students had a welldeveloped creative pulse. It was then I decided that an anthology would be very fitting!” Dr Burton admits that at the beginning of each semester, it can 18

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– Robert Frost

be difficult for students to grasp the need to count syllables and pay close attention to accents, but the penny doesn’t take long to drop. Dr Burton was inspired to begin teaching a course such as ‘Reading and Writing Poetry’ by his good friend and fellow academic, Humphrey Tranter, who believed the best way to increase people’s ability to critically appreciate the poetry of, for example, Robert Browning, was to get them writing in his style. What’s most interesting, however, about Dr Burton’s course, is that it concentrates on traditional forms of poetry. “My reaction against modern free verse can be said to be a failing on my part”, admits Dr Burton, “I simply don’t get it—I don’t understand what makes it good, nor how it is different to prose.” You may have your own opinion on this issue, but what is difficult to argue against is the excellence of Beyond Free and the sharp, technically-sound efforts of many of our students’ poetry under the mentorship of Dr Burton. Tom boasts: “I talk to literary clubs about Beyond Free, and something that gives me great pleasure is reading out sections of it to the audience and talking about the meters. The audience is astonished at the

quality of the efforts. It’s terrific to have your students appreciated like that.” The poems that make their way into Beyond Free are democratically selected by Tom and an editorial committee made up of students from the course; any student can serve on the committee. “My only rule during the selection process is no bad grammar is to be published!”, Tom exclaims with a rye smile, the kind that only a few decades of marking elementary grammatical mistakes can chisel into the countenance of a man. To purchase the recent edition of Beyond Free (which incorporates student poetry since 2003), simply email Dr Tom Burton at: thomas.burton@adelaide.edu.au.

The following page shows a selection of poems from Beyond Free:

poetry section Loneliness Blank Verse I walk around my lonely home and wait. I wait to see if he will come today, But deep inside my heart I know he won’t. Sometimes I know he seeks me out and fails; He creeps within my blood and wants my soul. I live each day longing for him to win And take me from a life I never wished. To stay alive is punishment for sins; These sins have left me here on earth alone. Alone in my darkness I wait for him. One day he’ll come to take my life away And find me waiting in my home to die.

Kate Walsh

From end to beginning Sonnet (English) The sunlight fades to pink and mellow gold While hills turn mauve against the amber skies. Now clouds grow thin as heaven’s arms unfold— Such beauty rarely seen by human eyes! Yet every ray casts shadows through the light: Without the bad, the good cannot exist. And so the day must end and turn to night When light and warmth are memories sorely missed. As every night leads on to hope of day, So every sorrow brings another chance. A single ray can sweep the dark away To banish fear before the morn’s advance. The light and dark are part of nature’s blend Where new beginnings come from every end.

Isabel Michell

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The Tragedy American ‘Musical R

ecently I’ve begun to notice a trend in popular culture: the use of music/musicians as a subject for awful American teenage movies and TV series.’ You may have noticed the buses around Adelaide sporting horrible larger-thanlife posters promoting the new “musical-romantic comedy film” Bandslam (Gah! Even the grammer is stupid! Bandslam is not a word!!). The movie – starring Disney Channel frequents Alyson Michalka and Vanessa Hudgens – is yet another teen flick based upon amateur musicians and it looks just as awful as some of its predecessors. A few weeks ago, Channel TEN also aired a ‘sneak preview’ of Glee, an upcoming American TV show based on the trials and tribulations of a group of ‘talented’ singers who join a high school choir in the hope of proving their worth to their classmates. Out of interest, I actually watched it and I have to say it was one of the cheesiest television

6’0 5’6 5’0 4’6 4’0 3’6 3’0

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programs I have ever seen: the music and acting were average, the singing was horrible, and the plot was terribly corny. No doubt prompted by the commercial success of Josie and the Pussycats (2001) and, more importantly, School of Rock, in 2003, music-oriented comedies have become a saleable commodity. In recent years, teenage ‘musical comedies’ have become a subgenre of their own – High School Musical, Hannah Montana and, most recently, Camp Rock, not to mention Hillary Duff’s filmic offerings including Raise Your Voice and The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Unlike School of Rock however, these movies do not (as far as I can gauge) contain ANY comedic intent at all; indeed the actors all seem to take themselves quite seriously. (Maybe that’s the funny part!) My problem with these films is not their content – I love movies about music! – it’s the music itself, and the limited acting

and musical talents of the stars. The music is not relevant but often merely reinterprets cheesy 80s popular styles with inexpressive, cheap lyrics. The plots are also misleading in that the actors/singers are portrayed as talented. The High School Musical gang, as well as Hannah Montana’s Miley Cyrus and Camp Rock’s Jonas Brothers are good amateur singers at best. However, while they are clearly not completely untalented, by promoting them as remarkably gifted, the public is taught to believe that this is the yardstick by which musical talent is measured. But the real tragedy is that is the awful music featured in these shows may be misunderstood as the pinnacle of 21st century music! Another tragedy in this whole debacle is Disney’s involvement. The Walt Disney Company was, of course, responsible for the creation of such classics as The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and Mary Poppins (each of which won

of Teen Comedies’ the Academy Awards for Best Original Score and Best Song in their respective years of release, and all of them “musical comedies” in their own right). However, The Disney Channel, a division of the original company, was/is responsible for the distribution of abominations such as High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and Camp Rock (something tells me these films won’t receive any Academy Awards – especially for their soundtracks!). To me, Disney films have always represented a successful marriage of film and music and the works distributed by The Disney Channel signify a shameful demotion in musical quality. The thing that annoys me most is that popular culture need not promote blatant philistinism! Surely the purpose of all art – including teen pop culture – should include some facet of educatory and aesthetic responsibility. Immature and culturally negligent productions such as the abovementioned

music feature

American “musical comedy” movies have undoubtedly further advanced the widespread apathy toward culturally valuable music. By this, I don’t mean ‘art music’ exclusively: some popular music is, of course, certainly deserving of the recognition it receives and is often effective in its treatment of socio-culturally relevant themes. I just feel so sorry for all the kids who are exposed to this “musical comedy” rubbish at an impressionable age – taught to believe that the music in these shows is top-quality music, and that the ‘musicians’ portrayed are extremely talented. While the aim of such films is obviously to convince kids that “music is cool,” I fear that the effect will be disastrous. Rather than inspiring an upcoming generation of musically interested citizens, American ‘musical comedies,’ through their use of substandard, cheesy tween-pop tunes, may well cause the tragic demise of nourishing musical culture. By Courtney Day

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Bertie Blackman B

ertie Blackman’s recent album Sound and Lies finds and artist deep in her aesthetic, an aesthetic that is as immersive visually as it is aurally. “When it manifests, it’s kind of smudgy”, says Bertie “and there are definitely imaginary nightmare kinda stories and made up animals that appear throughout the songs and imagery kinda like shadows in the night, which can be anything, whether it’s the shadow of a person or the flicker of a colour or any pastiche of that, it’s different every time I play I get a different kind of sensorial thing.” Coming from a family of painters, it is no wonder that the visual aspect is so important to Blackman, I caught up with her to find out how this works its way into her music. “Colour and visuals and texture and music all kinda fit into one thing”, she says, “I’ve always dabbled [with painting], I love to draw. I draw actually more than I paint. I always draw little bits on tour and get involved in the artwork and the visual side of music, and getting the whole picture of everything, of who Bertie Blackman is visually. If you’re around any sort of art form it sort of travels through. Me being around colour and, um, paint fumes (laughs).. that probably damaged my brain a little. Nah, but seeing how my parents worked through their creative transitional periods, good ones and bad ones, and dealing with the ins and outs of being an artists apart from just the creating of work I think has been really beneficial for me, because I can stand back and not get too overcome by certain things, and also just the ebb and flow of it all.”

Blackman considers herself lucky to have been raised into such an expressive household- “ I have lots of musician friends whose parents tell them “Oh, you need to get a real job”, but my Mum and Dad have always just wanted me to be me, whether I wanted to be an accountant or whatever, they just wanted me to be doing what I loved doing.” Bertie had her first musical interaction at 12, playing African percussion instruments, and rhythm remains key to the way she makes music; “I love keyboards and drums and guitars because they are also rhythm and percussion instruments and I love that part. I’m not a very technical player, but I can just kind of feel things.” Beginning her career writing humble folk inspired songs with her debut, Headway, Blackman has transitioned from the electric guitar driven sounds of Black, to explore more electronic sounds on Secrets and lies, but like the transitional paths of her parents artistic phases, she considers these changes completely natural. “It’s definitely been a natural progression, I didn’t intend on making an electronic record. The way it turned out was a result of the producers I worked with, and being left alone to my own devices with a computer with drum machines and keyboards for a really long time So, the songs ended up being more electronic. And because I’d spent so much time behind the guitar, I wasn’t able to hear things so creatively. I really became a bit stunted with the sonics and the textural feeling of playing guitar, and I wanted to move away from being behind that and free up.”

A large part of the electronic makeup of the record is the influence of producers Lee Groves (Goldfrapp, Depeche Mode, Gwen Stefani) and Francois Tetaz (Gotye, Architecture in Helsinki). “Their previous work is all with really musical and amazing kinda pop acts, so their influence and encouraging me to explore all different kinds of sonics made a big impact on the record. I met Lee, and gave him a track to work on, which was the first track I’d written off the record, and he came back and had done something really interesting with it, so I thought “Ok, let’s do some work together” but I didn’t actually intend to write a record and record it with him, it just kinda happened. And then a few songs I wanted a bit more of an organic approach and I was having a little trouble getting them to the place I wanted them, so I decided to get a fresh pair of ears and a fresh heart I suppose, a fresh emotional take on the music, so I got Frank in to work on Birds of Prey and Heart and White Owl.” What maintains itself throughout her varied stylistic output is the sense of honesty with which each of Blackman’s albums is imbued; “I know that I’m really honest with how I’m feeling at the time with the work that I make and I never make anything hoping it will fit into a mould or anything, I just like making interesting work that’s challenging for me, and heartfelt and real.” You can catch Bertie Blackman at the Gov on August 27th, or alternatively at Parklife Festival on October 5th where she will be playing a sneaker set… rather perplexed by what this may entail, I thought I’d ask; “I’m just going to wear spectacular sneakers. It’s just about cool sneakers. They’re going to be bedazzling.”

J. Swanborough

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music section

Getting “Scare’d” T

What was it like working with Daniel Johns?

How important for you musical career to move to the UK?

Liam: Amazing. He’s just like one of us, we became friends and he kept saying he wanted to produce our record we were dismissive but eventually he started showing up to our practice sessions and offering his ideas, so he started producing the thing before we’d even settled a deal or anything. But it was so much fun last year, under the radar, not playing any shows, just working on writing really good songs to go on the record.

hey started out rather respectable conditions in Queensland, but the dirty rock that is ‘The Scare’ had to ship out to England to get noticed. Now they’re back in Oz to show off their new album “Oozevoodoo” which was produced by none other than rock royalty Daniel Johns from Silverchair. I caught up with Kiss and Liam from The Scare to get they’re views on Aussie music culture and they’re new album and tour.

Kiss: It was important to be able to go out into a world where you have to fight to get noticed and be able to play so often, so regularly without being in the same place all the time. We got away from the comfort zone of living with our parents and home. Liam: Its good training as a musician as well being around good bands all the time, not that there aren’t good bands here in Australia, but when we moved to the UK, not only were we touring constantly but we got to work in the venues and see other bands play that don’t tour regularly in Australia. How hard is it for good, young, Aussie bands to ‘get out there’? Liam: It’s becoming a lot easier in the last few years, a lot of good bands are getting out there and people are starting to notice Australia as a new scene. When we first went to England just over 4 years ago there wasn’t much coming out of Australia apart from Jet, and that’s all they had to compare Australia too. We needed a whole surge of bands go over to let people know Australia knows how to make a good song. The new album “Oozevoodoo” is out in August, what are some of the underling themes portrayed in the album? Kiss: We had been and done all this stuff in England and we kind of got out of touch with reality, and when the first album didn’t happen, we got pulled back down to earth. There is a lot of that in the world and we want people to be able to connect with that. People said that the first album sounded like a party that no one was invited to and very insular, so we really wanted people to make a connection to the music.

Kiss: We got to really know each other really well. Every 4 days we were hanging out and playing these songs. It was like we became a family and when we went to actually do the record, everything got done really quickly, and the communication was really easy. It was having someone you could turn too and support you. How do you think you’ve evolved since your first album ‘Chivalry’? Liam: We’ve learned how to compromise, which sounds ridiculous because the things that we initially thought we were compromising shouldn’t of been an issue to begin with, with all our ego’s in the way, we trying to come up with ideas and it would be difficult but now it’s so easy, now it’s the way it should be. The video for you next single ‘Could Be Bad’ is going to be directed by Tom Noakes and is going to involve ‘Guerrilla Projection’. What’s ‘Guerrilla Projection’? Liam: it’s where we film a subject or object and then it’s projected in a public space. You don’t have permission to do it but its on the side of like, the Opera House, or the AMP building or wherever suits at that given time and you have people interacting with it. It’s a new trend in street art. It’s not harmful at all; it’s just light and some really high powered projectors and it looks incredible on film.

Kiss: I write a majority of the lyrics, but I do get a lot of influence from Liam or Wade’s writing and maybe change them to elaborate my ideas. In some bands one guy might write all the songs and get all the money and he’s being treated so much better than everyone else. But this band, its our family, our little gang. We all have to be treated equally. Liam: That’s why you start a band. You get four or five other guys with the same outlook on life and you express it to the rest of the world. I don’t think it makes sense if there’s one guy expressing himself and the others just backing him up. Were really passionate people so we couldn’t let that happen. What do you think of the notion that the music industry is already dead? Liam: I personally think that’s crazy, it’s undergoing some massive changes at the moment but it’s always going to be alive. There’s a new industry forming. People will never stop writing music, there’s endless possibilities, its never going to run out. Kiss: Maybe in terms of how it used to work, music is dead. The way the old industry worked is dead but it’s getting better. Its better this way, there’s more music, more different kinds of music now. You’re playing a bunch of shows in August/ September with Children Collide. What’s next? Kiss: Were doing a album tour for “Oozevoodoo” and then hopefully some festivals in summer, and back to England, and another tour as ourselves in January. But as a band we want to get back to England in March or April, because that’s when all they’re great festivals are on. You get to play to a whole town at places like Nottingham, and all day your running around playing venues and going to parties with cool indie sort of bands. Andew Auld

Does anyone member of the Scare write all the lyrics or the music? Liam: It’s a communist’s party, musically its everyone. It starts with a riff, and then we shout at each other till a structure is formed.

Liam: It’s a lot more honesty. It’s about stripping it back and learning a way to write songs that are more suited to our ability and what were capable of. A lot of his (Kiss’s) lyrics are about being honest with yourself, about letting go and getting in tune with your emotions.

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music section

Much has been said about the new “acoustic” direction taken by The Mars Volta on this album, but really, not that much has changed. Musically, most of the tracks sound like the slower moments on their Amputecture album, and reflects an attempt to scale back the at times overbearing technicality of their past few efforts. What comes through as a result is an emotive quality which has been largely missing from their music for some time. This evocative atmosphere, and comparably straightforward delivery, will provide some exiled fans exactly what they demand to find a path back into the strange fixations of this worthy group. The concepts of death, demons, psychology and religion remain preoccupations of Cedric BixlerZavala’s lyrics, and there is a sense of foreboding present throughout which gives Octahedron a far more consistent feel than the band has achieved since Francis the Mute. Another important point to make is the absence of horn player Adrian TerrazasGonzález, who has been a fixture on all the band’s albums except their debut. This means the latin vibe which has dominated their efforts now gives way to spacey soundscapes driven by keyboards and guitar.

Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse Present: Dark Night of the Soul It’s strange the places our minds wander to when we are left alone at night with nothing to occupy ourselves with. What really troubles our souls tends to rise to the surface. This is the subject matter this all star collaboration helmed by Brian Burton (Danger Mouse) and Mark Linkous (Sparklehorse) deals with. This unique project, which also comes as a limited edition book with photographic accompaniment from David Lynch - which definitely adds to the music if you can track it down - , may never see commercial release due to ongoing disputes between Danger Mouse and EMI over has liberal use of the Beatles catalogue, but blank cds can be purchased online, with the instruction to use them as you see fit, and the music can be found without too much hassle. The night has many shades, and there are many smatterings of hope throughout this bittersweet journey of haunting beauty, demanding us to confront our fears or face the consequences as the night will unveil everything.

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CD Reviews with J. Swanborough

The Mars Volta Octahedron

While superficially it may seem to lack the complexity of previous Volta efforts, there are enough grooves and melodies lying under the atmosphere to keep you coming back, and the themes unveil themselves over time, and all in all, it’s nice to have something which is actually discernable for a change - I like my bizarro psychic battles better when I can listen to them all the way through thank you very much.

More a Sparklehorse album with lots of guest spots than anything else, the vocalists each make their unique impression, but it is the twin helmsmen who remain firmly in control of their picture. The landscape is littered with spacey textures, flittery beats and grinding guitars, and keeps a sustained sense of mystery among the flickering hotel lights and deserted highways as if travels through the night- yeah, you can tell they had Lynch in mind from the start.

Most effective are the songs dealing with simple tales of regret, such as ‘Revenge’ with The Flaming Lips, and David Lynch’s ‘Star Eyes (I Can’t Catch It’- Yes, he sings, yes, it works. Other highlights are ‘Just War’ with Gruff Rhys of Super Furry Animals, ‘Angel’s Harp’ with Black Francis sounding suitably demented, and ‘Every Time I’m With You’ with Jason Lytle of Grandaddy, but the whole project is remarkably solid and achieves what few collaborations do by actually having a contingent thread to work with.

film feature

Robert Connolly & Damon Gameau talk ‘Balibo’ words by Anders Wotzke

“There are no secrets that time does not reveal”, recites Australian director Robert Connolly (‘The Bank’, ‘Three Dollars’), echoing the words of 16th century French dramatist Jean Racine. Connolly’s latest film, the factual political thriller ‘Balibo’, greatly attests to Racine’s wisdom. It unearths a damning piece of Australasian history that, for the last 34 years, the Australian and Indonesian government have desperately tried to keep buried. But ‘Balibo’ isn’t merely a didactic recount of the five Australian journalists - labelled the ‘Balibo Five’ - who went missing in East Timor in 1975 after they attempted to report on the unsanctioned Indonesian invasion. As a film, it’s easily one of the most haunting, thrilling and engaging cinematic experience of the year, which has just as much to say about today’s political landscape as it does yesteryear’s. With ‘Balibo’ opening nationally on September 10th, I was given the opportunity to talk to director Robert Connolly and actor Damon Gameau (‘Thunderstruck’, ‘The Tracker’), who plays Greg Shackleton, a Channel 7 news reporter who was one of the Balibo Five. During our interview, they spoke of the film’s contemporary relevance, what lengths they went to keep the film as factual as possible and how the Indonesian government have dismissed the film as a work of “fiction”. Spoiler warning: In the same way that some might consider “Adolf Hitler committed suicide” a spoiler, this interview talks openly about the outcome of the events concerning the ‘The Balibo Five’ in 1975. ANDERS WOTZKE: You’ve said yourself that this is a story that “demands to be told”. Why do you think it took 34 years for that to happen? ROBERT CONNOLLY: Well someone said to me ‘Gallipoli’ took seventy years to get made, ‘Breaker Morant’ took ninety after the Boer war and that we’re actually quite quick off the mark! [laughs] But it is a weird thing for Australia though that - you know, America was making films about Vietnam within two years of the war finishing. So it’s a really good question to ask and I don’t really know, though I think the political sensitivity of this story really made it difficult for filmmakers to make it. AW: So was there any pressure from the government to prevent this story from being told? RC: Hard to know because you can never really find any evidence of that. But other

people have tried to tell it. There’s part of me that also thinks that maybe some of the other films just focused on the Balibo five, and that falls into the genre of ‘white man saving the third world film’. We found a different way into the story, and maybe that helped this to get made when the others didn’t. I know there are half a dozen filmmakers who have tried to get this made actually. AW: What kind of relevance do you think the film has today? RC: We were just at the international press conference in Helsinki, a month ago, and they monitor the number of journalists that have been killed each year. Last year there was something like seventy journalists killed, already this year there’s been thirty. They’re really worried, in an ongoing way, that journalists are being killed because they’re journalists. The Balibo Five story is a real turning point because, prior to that in the Vietnam War, journalists had been

caught in the crossfire and the action, but hadn’t been targeted as journalists. Whereas the Balibo Five is a tragic turning point because they were killed because they were journalists. So I think its relevant today where we continue to have journalists exposed to the risks. AW: Damon, as someone who wasn’t around to see the events of 1975, why was it that you wanted to be a part of retelling this story? DAMON GAMEAU: Someone was telling me that in one of the marches in Iran a couple of weeks ago that the government officials were told not to target the demonstrators, but to shoot the people with the mobile phones that were filming the actually rally. So the snipers were told to actually target those guys instead of the protestors. So you realise just how pertinent it is, still. You realise that, increasingly we are The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

living in a world, in a society, where what we know and what we are told by governments is vastly different to what is actually going on. I think even more so today, the press and the lack of free press, that this story seemed so relevant today. As an actor, it’s not very often you get to play someone who you perceive as quite heroic. Someone that died doing what they actually loved doing. You don’t get to play noble figures, you know, the scripts you invariably get sent talk about breaking up with your girlfriend or having a fight. AW: Was there a lot of pressure put on you portraying someone like Greg, given he has a family looking to preserve his memory? DG: They were so accommodating, I never felt any pressure. I guess the only pressure was kind of self inflicted, what with the responsibility and weight in what we were doing. For me, my dealings were mainly with Shirley [Shackleton], Greg’s wife. For me personally, she was so supportive, to the point of saying;“Greg did have some difficulties with people, he did rub them the wrong way, and feel free show that. He was very ambitious and a bit prickly. I want you to show that.” As an actor, that’s so liberating! You realise you don’t have to sentimentalise anything. You don’t have to make this guy a really friendly guy that everyone loves, you can actually make him a bit more three dimensional. As a result, people relate more and it’s harder to watch when they actually die because they’re real people and not this kind of mythologised version of them. 26

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AW: What lengths did you go to in order to keep the film as factual as possible? RC: The coroner’s findings in 2007 were amazingly helpful. She interviewed dozens of people she bought out from Timor. I sat in on a lot of them and read her findings, so the murders of the men were based on that. That’s the factual background on that, which was great. We also had a consulting historian, Dr. Clinton Fernandes, and we also had people who were actually there. When we were in Balibo, we had Lt. Colonel Sabika – the man in the film with the red bandanna, who is now in his sixties and a Lieutenant in the army – he came to show what happened on the day. DG: So many parallels like that, of people we met, that were actually there at the time. Even in that massacre scene at the end, a lot of those extras were direct relatives of people that had lost their lives on the actual day. So you can imagine the commitment they had. Like, you have ten takes of something, and these girls will be crying after ten takes, because they wanted the story told. RC: It does weigh heavily, that responsibility as a filmmaker to try and get it right. And you are fictionalising it; like you are interpreting the truth. AW: At the end of the day though, you are trying to engage and entertain the audience as well as educate them... RC: That’s right. I mean, there’s a buddy story and it’s a political thriller. I don’t want

it be a lecture, you know? Navigating all of that with this film has been incredibly complicated over many years. It’s amazing how it’s come together. [laughs] DG: When you look at it like that, the amount of things that could have gone wrong – this could have been such a catastrophe. [laughs] RC: Yeah, it’s like someone said; to make something work, you have to walk that fine line between utter failure and success. If you just make something average, well, it’s easy to do that. AW: So what parts of the film did you have to fictionalise? RC: I think the biggest thing was hypothesising about the dialogue between [Jose Ramos-]Horta and [Roger] East, and their dynamic. I mean, Horta told me some stuff. But I was inspired by the film The Queen, which hypothesised the dialogue between the Queen and Princess Diana. It’s really interesting because Horta since said to me; “you know, there’s stuff in there that you’ve made up, but it’s all possible that it could have happened.” It reminded me of something Raimond Gaita said when we made ‘Romulus, My Father’, which I produced. He said; “there’s not one event in the film which is as it happened, but there is not anything that’s untrue in the entire film.” [laughs] It’s an interesting question; what is truth? I mean, we were trying to get to the truth of it, but it’s not a documentary. We don’t

have transcripts of what they said. So you know, the pool fight and the journey and all that – there’s a lot of stuff we added. DG: It’s similar with our stuff, too. We had the actually footage that Channel 7 and 9 provided, like Greg’s piece-to-camera. But what was fun in the process was recreating what actually happened before that piece. So you get that lovely piece in the hut with the kids where they’re listing to the stories. So we actually got to put in place what would have happened that lead up to Greg’s piece. That was great to expand on the story. AW: I found it interesting that the film is centred on the little known sixth Journalist Roger East. Why did you choose to tell the story from his perspective? RC: Well, the early drafts were just about the Balibo five, so it changed as we were developing it. And you can imagine, as we were researching this, you discover this other journalist in the story that you don’t know anything about. So what happens is you develop his story, and you’re going ‘wow, here’s this amazing 52 year old’ and then you discover that Horta actually came along and encourage him to go up there. AW: Given East isn’t as well known as the other five, did it help to tell the story from his perspective as it would, in a sense, be original to the audience? RC: Yeah, it’s a surprise. That’s what I’m finding; people watch it, and they think the Balibo Five are dead, and they can’t bare it, and they think Roger East is going to go back...

DG: They think the film’s going to wind down.

of response from the Indonesian government?

RC: I remember with the script - it was a big thing [screenwriter] David Williamson and I discussed - was this idea that after they were dead, that’s the highest point of the film. Like, ‘five men get murdered, how can you possibly have a third act after that?’ But somehow or another, there’s the tragedy of the hundred Timorese being killed on that wharf – so it becomes about the Timorese and not just Roger East and the Balibo Five.

RC: Yeah, well we’re doing a Bahasa subtitled version for Indonesia. I think Indonesia today is a very different place. I think that both Indonesia and Australia should be able to look at that time through 34 years of history. Unfortunately, they’re not really. But there’s an optimist in me that says a younger generation of Indonesians will. You know, Indonesian actors that are your age, who were extras and everything, they’re like “yeah, our country did that. That’s part of our history. It’s good a film’s being made.” It’s more so the entrenched government that continue to, you know...

DG: That’s where it gains its integrity, because it isn’t just about these five white guys. Yes, that’s integral to the story, but the absolute catastrophe is the fact that 183,000 people died as well. A lot of Australians aren’t even aware of that. AW: What do you most want to come out of this film once it’s released? RC: Well firstly, I want it to correct a historic wrong and put on the record what actually happened and inform people about that. I mean, I do also want a lot of people to go and see it. That’s why we’ve made a lot of commercial choices with the thriller format. And the families really want justice; the coroner’s findings, which are currently with the federal police, have recommended a few people that should be tried. I know that the families share a view that maybe the film will help pressure the government to honour the findings of the coroner. But that should be announced this year; it could be, bang, right in the middle of this release. AW: Are you looking for any kind

DG: It was a militia run government back then and they also killed 5,000 of their own people. So even the younger people today in Indonesia see that as a horrible time in their own history. Since they’re democratising so fast, they’re kind of willing to share and open this up to the world. RC: You should Google the Jakarta post article on the film where it quotes the Indonesian government. AW: I did read that actually; didn’t it say something like ‘they consider it a work of fiction’? RC: Yeah, that it’s “firmly imbedded in the imagination of the director.” [laughs] DG: That’s one hell of an imagination you’ve got!

Anders & Steph strongly suggest everyone watches ‘Balibo’

‘Balibo’ is in wide release September 10, 2009.

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YOURS WONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T BE THE ONLY FUTURE CHANGED BY UNCONVENTIONAL THINKING. The Faculty of Arts is looking for high-calibre graduates with the knowledge, skills and passion to make a positive contribution to the world. The Faculty is offering top-up scholarships to outstanding interstate students who are successful Australian Postgraduate Award (APA) recipients. All eligible PhD applicants will automatically be considered for a top-up scholarship when applying for an APA with their research degree application. Visit www.arts.unimelb.edu.au/futurestudents/research for further details. Applications close 30 October 2009.

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Constitutional Contentions

Words by Myriam Robin

In the middle of 2006, Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU) came into existence. A long-time ambition of the Howard government, it radically altered the nature and revenue of student unions throughout the country. No longer were students required to join their student union, and pay to fund its activities. One result of this radical change, which saw union revenues trickle to a fraction of their former flow, was the now in some sections obsolete nature of the constitution of the Adelaide University Union (AUU). As such, many Board candidates ran in 2008 on a platform of reforming the AUU Constitution. They have come good on their word, with a draft document ready to be voted upon by the student population in the upcoming student elections. Nonetheless, several issues of contention threaten to derail the entire process. Board initially came to a majority decision on these issues, but some Board directors have found them so contentious that an agreement between eighteen elected students was not felt to be representative enough. Given that the new constitution must be passed by a majority of at least 10% of students, a significant â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;noâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; vote threatens to waste the hard and much needed work of the 2008-2009 Board. For this reason, and as the union is ultimately there to represent the wishes of its student constituents, Board has decided to separate out the controversial questions from the routine updating required, giving students the ability to vote on the two parts separately.

The first issue of contention is the number of Board directors to sit on the union board. Most stakeholders, such as the university and the union affiliates, have expressed a desire to see the number of Board directors reduced from eighteen, with proposals ranging from 12 through to 16. Board eventually agreed on 16. Many left-wing Board directors argue that decreasing the number of Board directors will have the effect of making it more difficult for independents to get on Board, as they are the ones who typically scrap in the final positions. Independents often act as the whistle-blowers of the AUU, and are often the key conscious votes in many decisions. Many rightwing Board directors say that it is the responsibility of the union to represent the wishes of its stakeholders, who have explicitly said they want less people to deal with. Furthermore, they argue that having more positions politicizes the whole thing, as instead of having a handful of committed students one has a larger body to be held under the sway of factional heads. In the upcoming elections, you will get to chose between keeping the current number as is, or decreasing it to 16. The other issue regards the removal of a Board director. The new constitution has a proposed clause allowing an elected Board director to be removed for misconduct, provided a threequarter majority of Board directors agree on whether a particular situation warrants it. Proponents say that it is difficult to get even a simple majority of Board directors to agree

on anything, and thus this power would only be exercised in situations of unambiguous wrongdoing. Opponents argue that the AUU Board is not an impartial court, and fear that this will leave politically vulnerable but democratically elected candidates in peril of losing their position. As this issue threatened to unhinge the hard-fought unity of the AUU Board in presenting this constitution, it has also been left up to the voters. Linked to this is the issue of byelections. Currently, if several vacancies exist on AUU Board, a by-election is held to fill them. These are very expensive. For this reason, an alternate way to fill vacancies has been proposed, namely, to offer the position to the person who was the first cutoff on the ballot. This way of filling vacancies was itself a compromise between the Board, who were presented with three ways in which by-elections might be avoided. Proponents of this change say it will save the AUU a lot of money which could be more productively used. Opponents fear that it will be used, in combination with the power to remove Board directors described above, to replace disfavoured candidates with those more factionally palatable who just missed out. It is a truism that byelections are the most democratic method of filling vacancies. The question is thus whether they are worth the expense and effort.

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Literature Section edited by Alicia Moraw My Booky Wook By Russell Brand

The Bro Code By Barney Stinson

All I can say is that if I had met Russell Brand before he kicked his drug habit, I would have wanted to slap him. And slap him good. He seems to go from one incident to another which makes you just want to slap him. However, one must admit, he seems to have had an interesting time getting there.

Barney Stinson? Some of you may think, hmmm, isn’t he a fictional character on a sitcom? Why yes, yes he is. But Barney, the funniest (some may dispute this) character on How I Met Your Mother, has released a book! But it is not just any book, the most important book for any Bro out there wondering if there was a guide to how to live their lives... Bro Style. This is the code which has featured constantly on the show, it has finally been released into the world.

Brand has an interesting writing style and having seen him on television, he definitely writes how he speaks. His writing style is casual as if he’s just talking to you. His childhood trauma is told matter of factly as he talks about being abused as a child by trusted adults. He also is brutally honest about his addictions to heroin, alcohol and sex. He is frank about the fact that he is surprised that he has made it so far, especially given how he has screwed up so many chances that he has been given. However, he knows that no matter how low he sinks, he will have his mother and grandmother there to support him. So that is what almost keeps him from sinking into oblivion and keeps him fighting.

It’s always intriguing entering the world of someone else. Brand’s memoirs are incredibly interesting; with some parts extremely funny, but other parts are profoundly sad. He doesn’t hold back on his faults and is incredibly self aware that he was a giant idiot, yet, as with all those who helped him while he was hooked on drugs, you just can’t help but like him and his dry sense of humour. This is something that sheds even more light on a comedian who just can’t help but make you like him. 30

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I myself am a great big fan of the show. I also find myself loving Barney, despite the fact that he is pretty much a jerk most of the time. I didn’t know that this had even been released until my girlfriend gave it to me one day as a present. Then I ripped through it. It doesn’t have much substance, you’ll probably finish it in one or two hours max, but what it lacks in substance, it makes up for in humour. It is filled with hilarious one liners and stupid, yet extremely funny illustrations. Word to the wise here though, don’t take any of the stuff in this as anything more than what it is supposed to be and that is as a fictional humorous novel. It should not be followed religiously – but if you do, try and do so subtly. The advice give is sometimes pretty outrageous for everyday usage.

I highly recommend this book to everyone and anyone, fan or no fan, it is funny for anyone who has a sense of humour. In other words, it is legen... I hope you’re not lactose intolerant....dary! George

lit section Is It Just Me or is Everything Shit? An Encyclopaedia of Modern Life

Don’t You Know Who I Used to Be?

By Steve Lowe and Alan McArthur

By Julia Morris You may know Julia Morris from her interviews on Rove. I certainly do. I love the interview she did a couple of years ago when she was discussing being in a bar overseas and Vince Vaughn strode into the bar she was at for the Fringe Festival . She explained that he was her one exception... you know, the one guy she could have sex with without any consequences from her husband. And in a typical Julia Morris way, she was hilarious as she explained it. It was then I began to have a little bit of a girl crush on her.

Audio Book, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt and Stephen Mangan

Whenever I’ve had a bad day at work, I come home and open this book to any random page and have a laugh. However, the best way of climbing out of the customer service blues is by listening to the abridged audio book. Julian Rhind-Tutt and Stephen Mangan are excellent together reading this already hilarious book and take it one step further. You may be wondering who the hell I’m talking about. However, for those of you who are Anglophiles and have seen the cult classic show Green Wing, I’m talking about Dr. Mac and Dr. Secretan. Their banter on the screen is translated well into audio book format. Is It Just Me or is Everything Shit covers all the minor and major annoyances which one may find every where. For example, one of my pet hates is when adults insist on purchasing the “adult” editions of children’s books. This is something which is written about and mocked on the first page, immediately endearing me to the book. Admittedly this book is very British in its content and style, with much about British politics and things relevant to everyday life in the UK, but regardless, it has some hidden gems mixed in. If you want something to make you laugh out loud, read this. It definitely doesn’t tax your brain, but you will find yourself exclaiming “Finally! Someone else gets it!”.

This is a memoir about her life in the entertainment industry, but also her personal life as she writes about moving to the UK, moving back to Australia to start a family. She is brutally honest about everything. She writes about falling in love, the pitfalls of pride, not to mention the difficulty she had breaking the UK market. She writes in a humorous and witty manner which feels as if you’re at her stand up show. Whenever I see Julia Morris, in a show or on television, or even listening to her on the radio, I always think she would be a great person to sit down and talk to about everything and anything. This is conveyed in her writing style as well as her subject.

I enjoy reading memoirs comedians write, however, I find that not all are what you expect. Don’t get me wrong, I find most are funny, but they don’t always hit the right note for me, as if they’re trying too hard to be funny and witty. But there is none of that with Julia Morris. Her memoirs are effortlessly funny, segueing into different periods of her life with ease and humour. This is a fun, refreshing read for those days when you need something of a pick me up.

Want to write book reviews? email ondit.literature@gmail.com The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

Ditlicious Comedy & Tragedy with sub-ed Lily Hirsch Something that I really look forward to each year at Uni is Jesus Week, this year it was held from the 17th-21st August. In my first year here it was so delightful to see a happy group of evangelists running around in black jumpers with pamphlets and manic grins. Recently, the EU has changed to the ES and is the result of a merger between most of these groups around Australia. This means a huge boost in money and a subsequent increase in coloured jumpers, religious zeal and fire and brimstone logictwisting guest speakers. Sadly however, they havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realised how easily people are manipulated with food and an ES barbeque is a rare sight. It is a shame, because they could really liven up a good Sanger with an image of Jesus on the bread, or a Wise Man fritter, or crown of thorn soup. They could even profit from it! In March 2005 in the USA, a pareidolia pretzel resembling the Virgin Mary sold for a whopping $10,600! Seriously you lot, if you are going to infect the University with poster measles, dominate the winter fashion with one colour, scare the weak and lonely kids on campus into salvation and continually shove your beliefs in our faces then it may as well taste good. A recipe to put a smile on your dial and a tyre on your tummy: -4 tbsp self-raising flour -4 tbsp sugar -2 tbsp cocoa -1 egg -3 tbsp milk -3 tbsp oil -3 tbsp chocolate chips a small splash of vanilla extract 1 large coffee mug Add dry ingredients to mug, mix well. Add egg, mix thoroughly. Pour in milk and oil and mix. Add the chocolate chips and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes on high. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and eat! 32

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ditlicious section

Comedy The Cupcake

Cupcakes are fun. That’s really all I have to say on the matter. Oh well if you insist I can extrapolate. A small cake just about the size of a teacup, baked in a small thin paper cup and covered with thick icing is to me what a cup cake is. I can usually eat one in two bites –nothing to be proud of I assure you. My first cupcake (who doesn’t remember their first?) was when I was six- at a friend’s birthday party. A small unassuming cake with white icing and a bright red glacé cherry on top. It called to me, I took it greedily, watching other children take the wrapping off the base before eating; I mimicked them finding this to be quite a task for a hungry child of six. I took a tentative nibble then ate the rest in one mouthful. I went back for another, and another, and soon was hyperactive on the red colouring in the cherry. Good times. Today I eat cupcakes whenever I can; they are still irresistible, but (as with many things in life) I will always remember my first. Joke: Two cupcakes are sitting in an oven. One turns to the other and says “Man, it’s getting HOT in here.” The other one turns to the first and says “Ahhhhh! A talking cupcake!”

Tragedy

The Soufflé

Whenever you flick through a traditional recipe book there is always one recipe that makes me shudder. This is not due to the ingredients, the difficulty of the preparation or the taste; oh no it is quite pleasant on those counts. It is the recipe’s probability of being an absolute failure that makes me adverse to serving the classic soufflé. A soufflé can so easily become a Sou-flop; and there is no recovery possible one it has Souflopped. You can’t serve the Sou-Flop and save face, and more importantly if you’re cooking it to impress a certain someone, saying dessert is going to be an hour late because ‘you can’t get it to stay up’ is not going to endear you into their good books (or pants). The first time I tried to make a cheese soufflé it rose to an impressive height and tasted great. Emboldened, I then went on to make a self saucing chocolate soufflé, again a great success. This encouraged me to invite many friends to a soufflé night of epic proportions. You can guess what happened; all of the soufflés collapsed. Yes, we still ate them, but the night was spoilt by the melancholy nature of what could have been. I now stick to cupcakes, though not as impressive, have the reliability that they-unlike other things in lifecan’t flop at the most inappropriate of moments.

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Careers Corner with Lara Francis I’m supposed to get a job now? The First Step

e have it pretty good here at university, from being able to trade that that morning lecture for a sleep in, to free bbq’s, obscure clubs and raging parties. For the short three to six (or more) years we frequent this glorious establishment, the realities of life are put on hold to relish in the times we will look back on as our golden years. It may come as a shock to some that we’re really here to better our career opportunities and at the end of it all, land that dream job and salary package. Sure, it’s in the back of all of our minds - but how much time do we actually give to planning out our career path or better yet, improving our chances of getting that job while we’re still at uni? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that times are tough and graduates are being hit hard by this economic downturn, or dare I say, recession. The likelihood of landing your dream job straight out of graduation is slim, with around half of the University’s graduates are being forced to find jobs outside of their field of study. So, if you don’t want to get stuck beside Shazza in a crappy cubicle somewhere in the suburbs doing a job you’re wildly over qualified for then it’s time to get serious. Employers are cutting down their graduate positions and 50-70 per cent of existing jobs aren’t being advertised turning job hunting into a new form of Darwinism. Rest assured that there are jobs out there; you just have to know where to look and how to make yourself, ‘job fit.’ The first step is to think about what you’re doing now. Almost all employers say they’re looking for well rounded graduates. The good news is your academic results, while significant, aren’t the most important element of your resume. Make sure you’re

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doing something outside of your study such as playing a sport, participating in a club or even doing part time work at Coles. This shows your potential employer you can lead a balanced lifestyle and that you can also commit to activities outside your study. Most importantly, include this in your resume making a direct link between the activity and the skills you gain. For instance, that Coles job which serves the sole purpose of helping your purchase beer at the uni bar has also developed your ability to deal with conflict and your teamwork skills. Yes, it may sound like a load of dribble but trust me; it’s what employers want to hear.

Next; The Mysterious World of Resumes; What do employers want? Your resume; it is the first (and often tallest) hurdle standing between you and your dream job. The task of producing a resume can be a daunting one, to say the least. With little-to-no idea what the employer really wants to see, writing a resume can be as difficult as getting an Arts student to a nine o’clock lecture. There are also a plethora of mistakes people tend to make, mistakes that can cost you the job. Luckily, there are a set of rules that can ensure your resume doesn’t end up on the office pin board alongside a Fred Basset cut out.

Firstly: Everyone is aware that you need to pop in your contact details at the top of your resume, but for some reason unknown to us here at the Careers Service, many people don’t adjust those details for their job search. Let me draw your attention to the following three exhibits: - hotchick69@hotmail.com - givememoremoney@hotmail.com - snuggelywuddely@hotmail.com What is wrong with this picture? Now let me assure you, each one of these examples is real and was put in prime position on the top of a resume. Trust me, there’s always a bin pile for employers who are looking through resumes and an address of equal or less stupidity to the aforementioned will ensure your resume ends up there before it’s even read. Including a photo can have the same effect. Think about how your resume will be received by a fifty-year-old, balding blue collar manager if there is a Facebook picture on you on it looking a little seedy, sexual or downright drunk. The application process is brutal and you will be judged on everything you hand in. A picture provides a thousand insults and any conclusion or stereotype that can be drawn from it, will be. So unless it’s specifically requested, don’t include your picture. Save your ego and let them find out what you look like at the interview.

Some examples of both good and bad hobbies or interests: Bad:

Good: Learning instrument.

musical

- Playing sport (especially a team sport ; unless you are looking at getting into banking, in which case make sure “Golf” appears somewhere in there) - Computers and Technology (not to be confused with online gaming, general computer skills are a must for almost all jobs in the current market)

- Pulling the wings off of bugs or frying ants with a magnifying glass. - Roleplaying in the World of Warcraft or “pwning” your mates at Team Fortress 2 (while it is increasingly popular, online gaming is still a no-no for your resume). - Being a member of the University Atheist Club or Young (or old) Liberal Party.

Spelling is yet another potential window for the binning of a otherwise perfectly good resume. It may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to hand in your resume proudly emblazoned with Bachelor of Law. Check your Office dictionary and language settings - the use of American spelling can also alienate your future employer (‘s’ is your friend while ‘z’ is a dirty foreigner!) The bottom line is, get someone else to read over it before you hand it in.

career feature

Remember, the most common typing error, ‘teh,’ is actually a word according to many spell checkers, so you can never be too careful. Needless to say, leave the text-speak in your pocket or expect to get a big, “C U l8r” from any potential employer. The inclusion of hobbies and interests is a must have in your application, but herein lies another potential trap, so beware. You must keep them wholesome and completely devoid of controversy. DO NOT include your political or religious affiliations and keep it brief, clean and relevant. Sharing the knowledge that you take pole dancing classes, are a healthy non-smoker or that you like walks on the beach and tequila will not assist you in any way. Above all else, don’t go to the effort of making something up so you seem interesting. While it seemed like a good idea at the time, bear in mind you probably will be asked about your new passion for beekeeping during the interview. It’s also a good idea to include your soft and hard skills and graduate attributes. Yes, that’s right, all of us who graduate from this fine establishment have a list of attributes we have gained form our course work and to put it bluntly; you’d be a fool not to include them in your resume. Just make sure you personalize the dot points.

Finally, try to keep the resume length to no less than two pages and no more than five. Remember, the employer could be sorting through hundreds of resumes exactly like yours so don’t assume they will read the whole thing. This means keeping your most important information on the first page and keeping it as simple as humanly possible. If it’s too complex or difficult to understand at first glance, they won’t even bother. For more resume advice go to the Careers Service website www.adelaide. edu.au/student/careers/

Next Edition: Selection Criteria & Cover Letter: Is the pain worth it?

Soft Skills & Hard Skills

- Soft skills are the skills you get from being a member of your netball team or Spanish club, such as interpersonal skills or the ubiquitous, “works well with others.”

- Hard skills are the tangible skills you have gained from your degree or outside activities – if you think it is useful information, your ability to hang upside down on a pole whilst gyrating to Brittany Spears would go here.

Your referee list is possibly one of the most important aspects of your resume. Go for quality over quantity and make sure you include at least two. Touch base with them every now and again to let them know what jobs you’re applying for and make sure they’ll actually say good things about you. Employers usually ring the referees once they know they want you for the job so an average review could mean you’ll lose the job to someone else.

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f I had an arms span as big as inspector gadget, I would hug this place. The Lions club at Brighton sells books, clothing, furniture and bric-a-brac at ultra-global-recession-friendly prices. The volunteers at Lions are extremely helpful. During my last visit, not only did a volunteer give me a pie dish, she then went on to explain the numerous other meals that the dish could house. The Lions club has an abundance of belts, bags, shirts and jeans. The only issue being: most of the clothes are in folded piles. I don’t know about you, but I personally find it extremely difficult to ‘browse’ through folded items. Part of me wants to remove all the clothes from the shelf in the same way that office desks get cleared for sex in films. Even when I try extra hard to keep the shirts in their nice folded piles, I fail. If you have just recently left the parental nest then I suggest you visit Lions. The furniture here is more comfortable, more floral and “Part of me cheaper than your wants to remove current milk-crated lounge suite. all the clothes from Also, for all the the shelf in the same way that carnivorously inclined, the office desks Lions club get cleared sizzles saufor sex in sages. So, you films” can get hard arteries whilst you buy soft furnishings.

Op Shop Review by Lauren Lovett

Store: Lions Club Location: 2 Tweeddale Ave, Brighton The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

The Life & Death of Kevin Carter On 27th July 1994, Kevin Carter drove to a river near his childhood home. He attached a garden hose to the exhaust of his car, switched on the engine and took his life. Two months before, he was receiving photojournalism’s biggest prize. What lead a promising talent to end his life? Death was always near Carter. He grew up in apartheid South Africa and whilst his parents accepted apartheid, he couldn’t. “We weren’t racist at home but I do now question how my parents’ generation could have been so lackadaisical about fighting the obvious sin of apartheid’ [1] After leaving school, he conscripted into the South African Defense Force where he was forced to aid the regime he hated. On one occasion he was beaten for defending a black waiter who was being insulted. “Somewhere along the line, suicide became the option. I had decided to do it. I wandered from chemist shop to chemist shop, accumulating a large quantity and variety of sleeping tablet and painkillers. For the cherry on the top I bought some rat poison, and I took the stash to my room.” [2] Carter came to in a hospital ward. “I shall never forget facing my mother again. It is living through a suicide that is the hardest part.”[3] In 1983, while on guard duty a car came to a halt outside the Air Force headquarters. Two men leapt out and, seconds later, Carter was hurled off his feet by a bomb explosion. 38

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This event compelled Carter to document the problems of his homeland. He initially took up a job in a camera supply shop before convincing The Johannesburg Sunday Express to take him on as a weekend sports photographer. By 1984 he was able to move to The Johannesburg Star, South Africa’s biggest daily newspaper. He would later become chief photographer for The Sunday Tribune. Carter constantly put himself in the firing line to expose the facts and was arrested on numerous occasions. Carter was the first person to photograph a public execution by a style called “necklacing” whereby a tyre is placed around the neck of the victim, filled with gasoline and set alight. He later commented: “I was appalled at what they were doing, I was appalled at what I was doing. But then people started talking about those pictures; they created quite a stir. And then I felt that maybe my actions hadn’t been at all bad. Being a witness to something horrible wasn’t necessarily such a bad thing to do.”[4] He met a photographer named Julia Lloyd and within two weeks they were living together. Soon Julia was pregnant but not long after the birth of their daughter, Megan, their relationship ended. Carter would find himself missing his daughter immensely. By 1990, Kevin had become chief photographer for the anti-apartheid Weekly Mail. Carter teamed up with friends, Ken Oosterbroek, Greg Marinovich and Joao Silva. These four did whatever it took to capture the violence and were dubbed

words by Richard Walker

“The Bang-Bang Club” The atrocities they saw were a heavy burden on them all. “Kevin was the most outwardly affected and that meant that life as his friend could be demanding.” Said Marinovich, “He seemed to have no borders, no emotional boundaries, everything that happened to him would penetrate his very being and let all that was inside him just pour on out.” [5] One of Marinovich’s pictures earned him a Pulitzer Prize and great acclaim. The prize upped the stakes for the rest of the club, especially Carter. One night whilst smoking cannabis and drinking with Silva, Carter confessed he was addicted to the white pipe, a dangerous mixture of cannabis and tranquilizers. In March 1993, Carter and Silva made a trip to Sudan. They followed a plane carrying food into a settlement. On landing both couldn’t believe their eyes. Starving children and adults surrounded the plane desperate for the quickly diminishing food supplies. Many were too weak to walk. As Carter started photographing, he saw a young girl struggling to reach the feeding centre. As he got closer, a vulture landed near her. Carter waited, hoping the bird would spread its wings but, when it didn’t, he snapped the image before chasing it away. A few days later Marinovich received a call from The New York Times. They were planning to run a story on Sudan but were

finding it difficult to find suitable images and wondered if he had any. Marinovich told them Carter had the perfect image. The picture created so much attention that people were asking The Times what had happened to the girl. Had she survived? Carter couldn’t answer this question convincingly. Whilst the girl was only a short distance from the feeding centre and he said he frightened the vulture away, he couldn’t say for certain. Regardless, Carter was deemed a success. His confidence was sky high. He started to believe that he could make it as a photographer and left The Weekly Mail to freelance for Reuters. However, it wasn’t long before Carter’s position at Reuters was in jeopardy. Whilst he could provide images of outstanding quality, he was equally prone to delivering nothing. On top of this his drug use was getting out of control. When covering a speech Nelson Mandela was making, Carter arrived late and stoned. He got bored and decided to leave yelling, “If the old man catches a bullet, phone me.” [6] He got into his car, inhaled a ready-made white pipe and crashed into the wall of a home. When the police arrived Carter got into a brawl and was arrested. Reuters decided to terminate his contract. Whilst this was happening in South Africa, The New York Times were putting Carter’s image forward for The Pulitzer Prize. It came as no surprise when it won. Foreign picture editor Nancy Buirksi called Kevin to tell him the news. She was surprised when his response was to complain about all his personal problems. How he’d crashed his car, lost his job and needed money to support his daughter. Despite repeatedly telling Carter that all these problems were now irrelevant he wouldn’t listen. Eventually she called Marinovich who confessed that Carter was most likely high. On the morning of 18th April, Carter had

photograph of necklacing

an interview scheduled in Johannesburg to discuss his Pulitzer Prize. The other “Bang-Bang” photographers Marinovich, Joao and Ken Oosterbroek had gone to Thokoza to cover an outbreak of violence. After lunch Carter turned on the radio to hear Ken Oosterbroek had been killed. Ken’s death affected Carter badly. He loved him like a brother and would say how much they looked alike. He felt that Ken was the good, successful twin whilst he was an inferior copy. He later told friends he should have taken the bullet, not Ken. Despite his misery, Carter had another opportunity to turn his life around as he jetted off to New York to collect his Pulitzer Prize. On arriving he was interrogated on the questions he could not answer about the picture. Did the girl make it? Why did he not help her? The vulture image seemed to be as much a curse as it was a prize. In an interview with American Photo magazine, Carter said, “ This is my most successful image after ten years of taking pictures, but I do not want to hang it on my wall. I hate it” [7] Despite this, he was extremely popular and made the contacts he would need to finally make it. He signed with leading photo-press agency Sygma. Things were looking up. On his return, Sygma asked Carter to cover Nelson Mandela and French president Francois Mitterand’s visit to Johannesburg. He was delighted with his shots but Sygma said he sent the film off too late for deadlines and the pictures were not of a high quality. This was all it took for Carter to slide back into depression. He thought every picture would be

judged by his vulture image and he’d never reach such a high again. Sygma secured him an assignment for Time magazine. They wanted him to travel to Mozambique and record Mandela’s trip there. Carter missed his flight then, on the return flight, he left the undeveloped film on his seat. After realising his mistake Carter was threatening to gas himself. The next day Carter turned up unannounced at the home of Ken Oosterbroek’s wife. Carter spilled all his heartache out to her but, still coming to terms with her own grief, she couldn’t comfort him. At around 5:30pm Carter left. This was the last time he was seen alive. At around 9pm, Carter parked his truck next to a tree at the Field and Study Center next to The Braamfonteinspruit River and gassed himself. The suicide note he left stated “I have gone to join Ken if I am that lucky.” [8] 1.

The Bang-Bang Club (2000) – Greg Marinovich & Joao Silva – page 50

ibid – page 50

ibid – page 52

ibid - page 49

ibid– page 69

ibid – page 187

ibid– page 241

Scott MacLeod – Time Magazine – Sept 12 1994

Bibliography

•

Greg Marinovich & Joao Silva - The BangBang Club (2000)

•

Scott MacLeod – Time Magazine (1994)

•

Bill Keller – The New York Times (1994)

•

Heinz Dietrich Fischer - Press Photography Awards 1942-1998 (2000)

The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

local issues section

On Dit’s Fool-Proof Guide to… Beating the Global Financial Crisis

Words by Patrick McCabe The Global (or Great, if you feel it adds to the melodrama) Financial Crisis is upon us, and now that we’ve all spent our stimulus packages on glistening new plasma televisions (or else, as in my case, simply never got one), you, dear student, might find yourself struggling to get by in these cash-conscious times. Never fear! On Dit is here to help, with our fail-safe 3-point plan for saving money in the recession that is not technically a recession…

1. Restaurant Crawls Sure, once upon a time in the distant past, pub crawls were fun. But can they really be justified when you’re struggling to put bread on the table? Instead, I recommend you exploit a little-known loophole in the restaurant trade which will score you a filling dinner from some of Adelaide’s finest restaurants for absolutely nothing! So, here’s the plan: First, head to Rundle St. Nearby uni, and with lots of restaurants to choose from, this is prime restaurant crawl territory. Then, head into the closest restaurant, preferably with a group of friends, sit down at a table, make hilarious conversation, peruse the menu, maybe order a glass of water (but nothing that costs anything, of course). Before long, if you’ve selected wisely, the waitress/er will appear with a bowl of bread. This is it, dear student. Time to strike. Immediately eat said bread, then, after finishing perusing the menu, exclaim that you find nothing to your taste, get up and walk out. There you have it! Obligationfree bread! As a former Contract Law student, I can guarantee* that no binding contract exists, and as such this practice is entirely legal**!! Then, walk into the next restaurant and repeat until full. Remember to thank On Dit as you head home without your usual impoverished, empty stomach! Celebrity endorsement: Rupert Murdoch: When I was your age, I was the very image of poverty, a latter-day Oliver Twist. Then I discovered restaurant crawls! Restaurant crawls helped me save enough money to start a little battling small business I like to call News Corp. Thankyou On Dit! And thankyou restaurant crawls! *The word “guarantee” should be interpreted as meaning “say, without regard to truthfulness”. ** Additional ethicality not included.

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2. Busking in Rundle Mall Busking has not traditionally been a particularly profitable industry. Another traditional downside has been that a certain musical skill is normally a prerequisite for such a career. However, in today’s egalitarian society, lack of skill is no longer an impediment to living your dream as a Rundle Mall busker! That’s right, unskilful no-hoper, busking fame could now be yours too! Observe the frequent Rundle Mall busker who wows crowds with his bizarre three-string guitar. This man simply randomly strums a string every few seconds - not a recipe for busking success, you might think. Alas, dear student, you have betrayed your busking profession naivety. The trail-blazer in question plays along with an amazing new device we like to call a CD accompaniment. The CD adds layers and layers of music that a man with a weird guitar and negligible musical ability could never hope to emulate! And thus, this occasional strummer is transformed from oddity to busking sensation! His lack of musical talent is comprehensively obscured by his blaring stereo – and he can sit back while the money rolls into his hat! Celebrity endorsement: Kylie Minogue: The amazing CD accompaniment device is incredibly versatile! Don’t just use it in Rundle Mall. You can use it at home, at work, on holiday, or, as in my case, in major concerts with equally successful results! I’ve found it particularly useful as a substitute for vocals. My lack of vocal talent used to hold me back in life, but now I’ve been able to achieve my dreams! Thankyou On Dit!

3. Facebook Prostitution If your busking and restaurant crawls just aren’t making ends meet, well, desperate times call for desperate measures. Everyone knows that Facebook has become the world’s primary measure of popularity and social acceptance. But what if you’ve only got 300 friends, none of whom ever comment on (or even just ‘like’) what you thought were hilariously quirky ‘status updates’? Facebook prostitution is a fact of life, a sordid little industry that goes under the radar, but, happily, can also prove extremely profitable! Here’s how to go about it:

Obviously you’re not going to make much money simply selling yourself as a friend. Friends are way too easy to come by on Facebook for anyone to bother paying for them. Desperate for friends? Just request a few guys from Brazil who you’ve never met. Chances are they’ll probably accept. What are hard to come by are cool, attractive friends who frequently comment on your wall for everyone to see about what an awesome party you attended last night. This is where you, the Facebook prostitute, come in. Create a profile under an appropriate pseudonym, using the most attractive photo that comes up in Google Images as your ‘profile pic’. Then send out a private message to any prospective client you can find advertising your services. Promise to leave wall posts at least twice a day, at least one of which will always refer to your amazing ability to attract members of the opposite sex. I guarantee* a swarm of clients will beg you for your services…in fact, can we get in contact? Celebrity endorsement: Bernie Fraser: As former Reserve Bank Governor, I like to make money. But with as dull a personality as mine, there are only so many companies willing to let me appear on their ads – actually, only one – Industry Super Funds. So it seemed a logical choice for me to dabble in Facebook prostitution. But Facebook prostitution has had unexpected, non-pecuniary benefits for me. When I had an actual Facebook account, my impossibly stultifying voice ensured that even on Facebook I remained unpopular. But since I became a Facebook prostitute, using a photo of a Finnish bikini model as my profile pic, I’ve found it a lot easier to make friends and now enjoy frequent correspondence with budding economists all over the world – even if they are all teenage males. * The word ‘guarantee’ should be interpreted as meaning ‘hope’. So there you have it, dear reader. Your pathway to economic success is sealed! Go and enjoy the fruits of your labour! Just remember to thank On Dit in ten years time when parking your BMW in your Sydney Harbour-side home, trophy wife by your side.

Words by Raffaele Piccolo

Not another Christian stereotype!

For too long have the Evangelical Union (now Students), perhaps knowingly, either way, controlled the perception students have of Christians, Christianity and religion in general. Well I am here to say enough is enough! To be Christian, to have a religious belief, need not necessarily invoke images of conservatism, intolerance, homophobia, and the list goes on. Guess what? One can be Christian, one can believe in God, an after life, participate in organised religion and still have a progressive outlook on the solutions to the world’s problems. To be progressive and Christian are not mutually exclusive. The recent American Presidential elections (more so 2004) have shown us that people continue to think that to be Christian, one has to protest against abortion and equal rights for same sex couples. However such deductions are simply wrong!

I am a Christian, and guess what I believe that abortion should be legal, that same sex couples should have equal rights, that they should be allowed to marry, that the death penalty is immoral in all circumstances. So I guess I am not your stereotypical Christian! Further to that I base it all on the same materials and people that those who identify as Christians but have drastically differing views to myself base their own believes. For me Jesus is a mover and shaker! He does seek to spread greater injustice throughout the world. Instead he seeks to alleviate suffering and ill treatment of one another. Christianity, and religion in general is more than about sex, it also about social equality, freedom from fear, and freedom from want. So next time somebody says that they are a Christian, and thus must be against gay marriage or abortion, do not be afraid to question them.

Religion no longer need be seen as a force that represses the world’s people, instead it can, and does free people everyday! One only has to look to the Christianity practiced and preached throughout South America where Liberation Theology has taken hold. There religion invokes a desire to change the world, and to alleviate hunger and discrimination. Please don’t tell me I am the only progressive Christian on campus! raffaele.piccolo@student.adelaide.edu.au

Tune in next edition to read a response to this article entitled: ‘Yet Another Christian Hypocrite’ The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

Wikipedia: Is it safe? Wikipedia is constantly attacked for being unreliable. It is supposedly prone to unchecked vandalism and hoaxes, as well as simple, old-fashioned nonhumourous mistakes. administrator had Volunteer ‘administrators’ constantly generously added monitor new edits and articles on me to the “Living Wikipedia in an attempt to fight this people” category. perception. Admittedly, this system It was nice to know I does work fairly well. Add a passage to was now officially alive. the entry on “United States of America” I mentioned my antics to a declaring that “The USA is historically friend and he promptly edited significant in that it is the first nation to the article to mention himself have poor obese people.” and it will be as well. No luck. An administrator gone in seconds. Add an article on how quickly deleted his edit, claiming it was your friend is actually a gangland kingpin vandalism. Rightfully so. and it will similarly be deleted within an hour. However, the flaw with the system Having established my right to exist on outlining just how Patrick M. McCabe is that while administrators are quite Wikipedia, I quickly became aware of the had taken the genre in a new, startling skilled at picking up obvious jokes, they fact that no-one was likely to stumble direction. ‘Politics in Australia’ gained a cannot possibly be experts on every across this new article as it stood. section focusing on Australia’s newest and brightest political commentator and topic they oversee. As such, a few theorist, Patrick M. McCabe. impressive turns of phrase and a liberal sprinkling of fabricated “The USA is historically However, with increased exposure jargon can be enough to beat the system. This was what I significant in that it is the first and prominence came increased danger for Patrick and his now discovered when I, in the pursuit article. One of science (and perhaps also nation to have poor obese increasingly-read administrator began to doubt just worldwide fame), decided to people” how great McCabe’s contribution add another drop to the pool of to the pertaining political climate in all human knowledge, an article Australia really was. He turned to entitled “Patrick M. McCabe”. I Wanting to expose as many people as claimed I was an award-winning author possible to this wonderful short-story that greatest of research tools, Google, of short stories, which is completely author, I embarked on a campaign to and found that it had curiously little to true. I was a finalist in The Advertiser gain greater prominence for my article. say on me. He went to his local library, Summer Short Story Competition years As one of my school-days short stories and found that The Complete Works ago, and I won a school prize for a short had included an anti-Howard political of Patrick M. McCabe was missing from the collection. At this point, he story once. message, I thought it only in the interests shared his suspicions on a Wikipedia of balance that John Howard’s Wikipedia ‘discussion page’. I quickly pointed out I covered up the fact that my awards article contain a reference to one of his (under a pseudonym) that such a highwere perhaps not on par with the chief critics, Patrick M. McCabe. The brow author as Patrick M. McCabe was Pulitzer by embellishing my entry with Wikipedia community again appeared to unlikely to appear on the plebian virtual indecipherable foreign words and agree with me. I then added my name to town-square that is Google, and that names which sounded academic, but a list of prominent short-story authors, his library was obviously inadequate. would have deeply confused a real alongside the likes of Edgar Allan Poe. Unfortunately, my enemy’s brethren literary scholar. For instance, I referred Again, Wikipedia seemed happy with weren’t swayed by my defence. Public to myself as “a modern-day pied noir”. I my rise to prominence. opinion turned against my lone voice of thought it sounded impressive, but pied noir refers only to a “French settler in At this point, fame began to go to my dissent, until my once-proud article was Africa”. Further on, I called myself “an head. Was it really this easy to become banished from Wikipedia forever, along Australian R.J. Stanley”. Again it sounds famous? All those Hollywood stars with with all my mentions in other articles. distinguished, but R.J. Stanley’s only their years of anguish and pain – why literary achievement to date was co- didn’t they just log on to Wikipedia to So, I guess the lesson we can take from writing an old textbook of mine, which achieve their dream? I began to see this tale is that Wikipedia always cleans happened to be sitting on a nearby shelf my relevance to all kinds of issues out the rot in the end, and as such at the time. Furthermore, I’m pretty sure and topics. Patrick M. McCabe had our unquestioning trust in Wikipedia is well-founded. Well, not quite. It must he’s Australian. something important to say – and it be admitted that a second, more wasn’t just about John Howard. No, sophisticated (and less narcissistic) Despite the questionable nature of my McCabe had a message for the world, a attempt at vandalism followed this entry, within minutes of publication, some message that went far beyond criticising episode. To this day, it remains hidden Wikipedia administrators had viewed it, someone as comparatively insignificant in the depths of Wikipedia – a personal and rather than marking it for ‘speedy as Howard. The Wikipedia entry on the shrine to my continuing superiority over deletion’, they helped me out with a few ‘short story’ gained a whole new section formatting errors. Before long, another the Wikipedia patriarchy. 42

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

feature

STICKSEDY/ TRAGITY words by Adam Marley

Disclaimer: I will be referring to the current Global Economic Crisis (GEC), rather than Financial crisis (GFC), as there is an economic crisis, with the absence of any significant financial one (now). The media evidently believe the human brain only capable of learning one new acronym a year; I am more optimistic about our cerebral capabilities and will accordingly be updating my terminology to accurately reflect current circumstances. Best of luck. I find it fascinating how country folk and city slickers differ. It’s amazing how a relatively slight difference in location, industry, and interpersonal relations can have such a large impact on the development of people. I feel no shame in admitting I prefer (as a demographic) people from the sticks over us city dwellers – they are on the whole, more considerate and honest, with less pretence and ostentation. Yet amusingly, we tend to treat them as though they are somehow inferior to ourselves – like they are on a lower

social stratum than us because they drive a muddy ute instead of a SMART car. We are convinced that they have permitted themselves to be shunted into the country because they cannot ‘hack-it’ in the city; when their lives are significantly more strenuous than our own. For all you who have found farmers to be slow talkers – it is most definitely not because you are smarter than them, it is because they choose their words carefully and meaningfully. The sugar-free icing on the glutenfree muffin is that our behaviour often mimics that of their herds. Take, for instance, two recent events that are relatively comparable for this purpose: a goodly amount of rainfall, and the appearance of ‘green-shoots’ (positive economic indicators) in the economic crisis; the former being of main significance to the agricultural among us, the latter obviously affecting everybody (particularly exporters) – but for now give it to those of us who prefer PURA over Daisy the Cow. How do farmers react when prompted

on national television, regarding the fortunate meteorological situation? Rationally and intelligently – condensed it would read, “Some rain is good, but we’re not out of the woods yet.” How do we react to a couple of positive indicators? “The worst is over! Recession dodged! Spend like morons everybody – ‘sall good!” Glenn Stevens (Governor of the RBA) stated in his 4th of August release, “...the risk of a severe contraction in the Australian economy has abated.” Cleverly worded Glenn, abated not necessarily meaning ‘ended’, but perhaps merely ‘subsided’? “But wait, that’s not what Channel 10 told me in-between Neighbours and Dancing with the Biggest Losing Idol, and I like doing what Mr. TV tells me – recession avoided, next headline please.” Personally I’m going to pretend I live in the sticks, so I can take positive signs for what they are – signs, not guarantees.

The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

nightlife section

t’s 3am and a young girl crouches on the pavement, wallowing in vomit, tears streaming down her face. No it’s not the set of the government’s latest binge drinking campaign, it’s Hindley Street. I look, but have no sympathy. It screams Eighteen and too many Cruisers. My friends and I look from the comfort of our car at the mess, which is on the side of the road. We laugh and say ‘poor thing’, drive on, and forget about it. I remembered it today. I wonder if her friends thought to see where she was, whether she picked herself up and got into a taxi, or a passer by had enough decency to stop and help. It did make me think, why do so many young people have these trash-bag moments? Where one is so fuelled up on alcohol that the pavement looks like a good place to lie and projectile the contents of one’s stomach? Is it the constraints of work, studying and just having a life that convince us it is possible to fit three months of drinking into a solitary hour?

Nightlife; It’s a tragedy… by Ainsley Campbell

Possibly. So here are a few pointers to avoid turning your night out into a (Kevin will be proud) nightmare…

Drink early, hit the happy hour then take it slow. Ease back to one or two drinks for the rest of the night. Alternate between alcoholic drinks and non-alcoholic drinks, like Red Bull…you still feel like you are keeping up with your friends, and can stay awake…always a bonus. Have a designated Dave. It’s always better at the end of the night, once you have sobered up to get into a friends car and know you will not have to wait in annoying taxi ranks shivering. Shout your Dave a Lemonade. If your friend vomits in the toilets, leave. Try to avoid having a lot of things in your bag (girls) if you are a little tipsy, an overcrowded bag means that your 50 is more likely to end up on the floor than over the bar. Also, when considering what to put in the bag think about how much you would have to fork out to replace everything if it got lost or stolen… i.d, atm card, camera and phone, money, favourite lip gloss etc all in the one hit. (From experience this sucks!). Steer clear of fights. It’s usually always the innocent ones who end up with a black eye and a long wait in the RAH for stitches. Have enough credit on your phone in case you get split from your friends and need to get in contact.

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sport section

Jolly Good Sport with Angus Chisolm

S I m droppe eeing ig o d L as o whe f trave ht as I we ndon n l e its men impo people xperie ll keep into th nameat l tion rtanc that nces g can o eco e? It also don : Do ing w ast art nom ith icle ’ c l t y e a o ad I’m to s ically. n be like s u eve the re por hug inte in B latin igni r T h g t e e fica whe resting arcelo nt d n ther ly cult comp et ann g na n t lete e a ural e v p e l a he ly oyed a ly lopm re o city ce if nd I ents ther signifi write Mo won ntju was the , l i from ttle cant, off der ic i bea O ‘cle s poli areas not t u if i ane lympi tics o It’s tiful p one t d u cs o a a to a where had would p’, the lso the rks wi f the rchi i n a b ’ t m s t h t Esta e s ectu t site ost a it w b suit re. imp ere, een h uch a ably di Olím where castle r e an ss pic, whi a and eld lo ch gran whi numb d vario ive ar it h here vely a c e e spo overlo diose n as faca h itsel r of th us oth as of rting ok thriv in 19 d fn er e d th th fine 92, ed r c monum e city e. The ow ho Olymp signifi e city s i ultu , nce re a ic e can sts and en a re . and ts can give re als RCD vents t cultu hill co wer spe o th Esp ral The vere fit i n a e t c a ture nto ouc re i e s t n d h a y c e o in ld hs w l and a sp ular ines s muc view immin match . It’s h tones ace cap h m not g a ome . es s. I feel that n a in t able t ore t t d n t i d o divi o th he ribu inco is mo s nic ng has f e ngr and abric tes to e city uou stly as that a pools a soc s in ll th imp of the FC B obvio , usly arc the iated ese m any ortanc w slig whe e o odern elona’ , but htes ith s tr whe f sp re, city t. can ort h itsel eble s ther it’ f, ’t u e be re, or the in ccess s the dow pote fluen , or ce nt npla yed ially .

he delay between my deadline and the day that issue is distributed always leans to an issue of the timeliness of what I write about, as any regular readers (anyone? other than myself? no?) have probably noticed by now. If I’m writing about a subject which at the time is a current event, it can be a bit outdated, or the story may have changed by the time you read it, which can be slightly annoying. On the other hand, though, it means that if I make a prediction it can leave me out in the open if the timing of the prediction lines up with publication. This is in contrast to most sports journalists that try and write articles making assertions - either banal or ridiculously stupid - about future events, where it initially might provoke some outraged blog comments or letters to the editor before being buried never to be seen again, forgotten completely in the wake of the actual event, which is what everyone actually cares about, as opposed to the bleating of some clueless hack. (There can be exceptions to this - before the 2006/07 season started, football journalist and Manchester United fan, Rob Smyth, wrote a blog online for Guardian Unlimited saying that Sir Alex Ferguson should be sacked because he was destroying the club that he had previously worked so hard to build. It’s well worth a look if you’re into that sort of thing, an hilarious read in hindsight.) Anyway, with that in mind I’m here to make a prediction that will make me seem like a

prescient god or a, er, clueless hack. I already touched on it briefly last issue, but by the time you read this the Ashes should be nearly over, I believe. As I write, the second test has ended and we know how that went; a fairly meek defeat. I had the misfortune of being in London as that test match unfolded. There really is nothing like the English sporting press. The love-hate relationship they have with England sporting teams fascinates me, the way they go overboard when they win and then piss all over them when they lose. It’s probably not different in essence to every other country on the planet but there’s something unique and idiosyncratic about the way they do it that I can’t quite put my finger on. One headline screamed ‘England turn Aussies to Ashes’ or something along those lines. A broadly victorious tone which seemed just a liiitle bit premature, I thought, what with there being three tests to go and us only needing to win two to retain the trophy. Alongside this brash coverage are sanctimonious columns criticising the likes of Ponting and some of their own players for their general poor behaviour (because why should cricketers endeavour to make the matches entertaining?). In fairness they did have a go at their own for the risible time wasting in the first test (underarm bowling for the 21st century), but not as much as they would have if we did it, obviously.

Anyway my prediction is this (and it would be the same regardless of the injury status of Pietersen or Flintoff Pietersen’s injury has lead to a renewed bout of old fashioned English media pessimism). England will get cocky after winning the second test, Australia will consolidate and do just enough to retain the trophy. That’s about it. Both sides so far have shown they have weaknesses that are there to be exploited, but are England savvy enough both to exploit those weaknesses on a continual basis, and discover new ones as Australia try and paper over those cracks? Australia aren’t what they used to be but then that’s to be expected, that’s just how sports teams work, and that team over a long period of time was quite special. But we’re not abject by any means and we still have enough cunning and ability to win this series, so I think we will. And if I’m wrong then I’ll just look like a fool.

The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

devils advocate

he truth is, if you live your life as a consumer it will never be great, unless you are rich. Without copious amounts of money, life for a consumer consists of the eternal struggle to obtain just that. For most of us, monetary riches are something we will never have. And yet we are raised by television, our parents, and the world around us to believe that in riches and possessions we will find our happiness. And so we will toil for nearly fifty years of our lives chasing those things that are just out of reach of our current bank balance. We are brought up on a lie. There is no end goal for a consumer, for each new purchase is replaced by the next future acquisition. The consumer is a mouse on a wheel, a rat in a race, a guinea pig for the market. In this type of life, true satisfaction can never be obtained, only possessions. Is it any wonder then that depression, or at least the symptoms of depression, are so prevalent today? The Human Race is slowly growing more intelligent, evolving perhaps to the realisation that a life of working for money is not all it is cracked up to be. We find ourselves in a time in which issues like global warming are making us think about our place in the world, and our future. All of a sudden, working our lives away to afford the latest fashions or nicest cars has begun to lose some meaning, at least amongst those with their eyes and minds even slightly open. Consumerism, with all of its bright lights and promises, is no longer making us happy. There is definitely evidence to suggest that depression or a lack of happiness is increasing. If you were to survey any large company, corporation, or government department in Australia today you would find that they all provide free counselling and psychological services to their employees. If you’ve ever spent time working in a corporate office like I have you will be well aware of the need for such a service. Here lies the epitome of the modern wasted life; a prison cell with a desk and a computer, “free” tea and coffee, and a so-called superior telling you what to do. All packaged in drab, grey tones, two days off each week to buy everything you can afford, and a paycheque to keep you returning the following week. Such is the general melancholy of the modern office worker (and other workers) that these companies and departments that we work for are now obliged to offer us free psychological treatment to manage our pseudo-depressions. I say

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

Depression or Disappointment? pseudo, because disappointment and dissatisfaction with society and ones place in it does not equal depression. It is important to differentiate between a society that depresses us and depression. I am not stating that clinical depression does not exist. What I am inferring is that feeling overwhelmed by and disassociated from a misguided society that we are programmed to conform to is likely to be mis-diagnosed as depression. This is likely because the idea of consumerism and its effects on the Human-Race are still relatively new. If any budding psychologists are reading this I can suggest that if you were to commence specialisation in this particular area now, in ten years time you will be very successful. For now though, if you were to present to a professional with this general dissatisfaction with life, you will most likely find yourself on anti-depressant medication to remove the negative thoughts from your mind, prescribed by a puzzled practitioner. What is yet to become common is the realisation that a life based on consumerism strips humans of our imaginations, our passion, and our freedom, and fails to satisfy us as human beings. It is this dissatisfaction that is making depression seem so common. Disenchantment with society can be a good thing. We are currently in the calm before a storm my friends. As we watch a world based predominantly on capitalism fail to effectively mitigate climate change, more of us will start to feel uneasy about the way in which we live. Our loss of faith in corporations to run our planet, and our subsequent distaste for earning and spending, will see evolution beyond pseudo-depression, to anger, and eventually to cultural revolution. The era of consumerism, short-lived as it may seem, has not long to go. The era of humans free of mindless earning and spending, the era of altruists, conservationists, and willing participants in shaping the future of the Human Race and the planet is soon to be realised. For now we shop, and try not to think too much about why we can’t seem to find happiness.

Greg Taylor The Anti-Consumer

The Advocate

devils advocate

Suck. It. Up. E

Devil’s

arlier this year I did a six week stint at the Crammond Clinic, Adelaide’s premier mental facility for the western suburbs. Now, just let me reassure you, I was there to learn psychiatry, not receive it. And learn I did. Psychosis, depression, anxiety, it appears that such an experience would prime me perfectly to write some feel-good puff piece about all the pysch problems university students face and some ways to deal with them. But I learnt more than just mental illnesses, for instance, I learnt that there is always a silver lining if you look hard enough. The psychiatrists around the western world must be loving the Global Financial Crisis, as all that extra stress on people drives them closer to the brink of mental illness, thereby increasing consumption of the psychiatrists service and hence allowing them to buy another Audi R8, only this one in silver. This sort of thing reveals some worrying trends; people care way too much about money, and there are a lot of pansies out there. This second trend brings me to today’s message: SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS. I have met some very, very ill people. Some horribly abused since childhood, others have destroyed their brains with massive quantities and cocktails of drugs and alcohol, or occasionally they just have bad genes. These are just a few of the legitimate reasons to be depressed or anxious, and I strongly encourage such people to seek help. On the flipside, I have spent nearly four years at university listening to people whine and moan about how crap their lives are and how depressed they are, when they do not meet any of the criteria and have absolutely no reason to. It’s these princesses who have to suck it up.

Depression has become popular. But not because life is any harder than before, just think about how good our lives are now compared to our parents, they had bad fashion, even worse TV, no computers and no Centrelink. Obviously, something else is in play. In our attempts to treat depression we have gone too far the other way. By telling people there is nothing wrong with depression and that it is okay to feel depressed we have relieved people of their responsibilities, no longer do they have to accept things or solve their own problems, they can just say they’re depressed. That was the second mistake, the first was telling people that we can have everything we want, that it is wrong to feel sad and that we are meant to feel good all the time. If you don’t, you’re not normal and must have a disease called depression. We can’t have everything we want, it’s a central tenant of capitalism and it’s okay to feel sad at times, it is part of being human. The next thing is we aren’t meant to feel happy, maybe occasionally, but certainly not all the time. Happy people are content and complacent. Complacent apes let their guard down and don’t see the lioness in the grass. The paranoid, nervous wreck of an ape expects to see the lioness, does so, and survives. We evolved to be paranoid wrecks, not happy and content. We live on a planet travelling 300km/sec through a cold, empty, irradiated and above all harsh universe. Life is meant to get hard, you can’t have everything you want and it is okay to feel sad occasionally. Suck it up, princess.

Tristan Adams, The Devil’s Advocate

The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

Vox Pop, a Comedy of

Tragedies, with Ash

Hayden 1. A tragedy. 2. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, it’s definitely both a comedy and tragedy. 3. Bystander #2 4. Arj Barker, for his single show and Flight of the Concords 5. Staying awake at uni overnight for 36 hours to finish a report… (ouch...Maybe even tragic dedication? - Ash) 6. Lonely people (A: “all the lonely people”) 7. Ha… a Comedy. 8. I fill out any questionnaire handed to me

1. Are you are a tragedy or a comedy? 2. What’s your favourite comedic/tragic movie or play and why? 3. Which classic stereotype would you play in a movie? 4. Your favourite comedian is? Why? 5. What is your most tragic or comedic moment at uni? 6. Who rates highest on your tragic scale? 7. Do you think Adelaide Uni is a comedy or a tragedy? 8. In Greek Tragedy, all heroes’ have a fatal flaw, what’s your fatal flaw?

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Lauren 1. Comedy- but one of those comedies where people laugh at other people’s misfortune. 2. Love Actually, because it warms my cold pessimistic heart 3. The hopeless, over controlling, blonde girl next door…wait, is that a stereotype? 4. Hamish Blake…He is BEAUTIFUL… 5. Running through the grounds of uni with a lovely best friend of mine singing the wombats. 6. Andrew O’Keefe- he sucks...enough said. 7. Comedy, in the same way I am! 8. I can’t tell my left from my right.

Sarah 1. It depends on your fashion sense 2. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, always a classic 3. Can’t I just be Buffy the ass-kicking heroine? 4. Dimitri Martin, B Batteries, YouTube it! 5. Our (the SRC) Wedding Protest for student poverty earlier this year, you try wearing bridal attire on the Barr Smith Lawns..! 6. John Howard for destroying Student Unionism (hear, hear! - Ash) 7. Since VSU - a tragedy 8. I want to see the best in everyone.

Fletcher*

Ali 1. I guess, comedy – but I don’t necessarily think everyone will get married at the end! 2. Fav movie: Donnie Darko, surreal and bizarre! Fav play: Glass Menagerie, beautiful and sad. 3. Nerd/Nice guy 4. Michael Palin, he’s amazing and versatile! 5. Tragic: having a HD revoked, due to my own mistake! Comedy: Slipping in mud on the way to a tutorial and arriving covered in dirt. 6. Jeff Buckley, died in his prime.. 7. Tragic comedy! 8. Perfectionism

1. There’s no way to answer this without sounding like a wanker (ouch! nice honesty - Ash) 2. Pulp Fiction- ‘Zed’s dead baby’ 3. The paranoid guy who runs off from the group and gets killed first. 4. Eddie Izzard- “Do you have a flag?” 5. Walking into a Torts tutorial, so many lawyers for the future. Funny? Sad? You decide… 6. Britney Spears! 7. A tragedy with funny bits... 8. Err...I’m guessing the whole evil thing doesn’t help..?! [slowly backing away - Ash]

*a huge fan of Regina Spektor The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

Social Fumbling;

The Tragic Comedy that is Editing I

essentially live with Steph. We just have bedrooms separated by a dozen or so suburbs. I wake up, shower and (sometimes) have breakfast, then I catch my bus to Uni and Steph and I get a coffee. We spend the day together; laying-out, brainstorming, eating and drinking. Finally, as exhaustion kicks in and I still can’t figure out how to get Quicktime to run that episode of 30 Rock Steph put on my iMac we decide to call it a night and we go to bed, parting our separate ways.

Look before crossing the road: When I’m around other people I somehow switch off basic survival mechanisms. I suppose I figure that I’ll notice the rest of the ‘herd’ fleeing if we get attacked by lions. I’ve lost count of the times she’s stopped me getting run over crossing the road. My abject ignorance of death seems to infuriate her, but if you have to face scraping your co-editor off a busy road while contemplating your new 150+ hour/week workload you’d probably get ticked off too…

Through this 60+ hours/week living arrangement, we have somehow become psychically linked. She’ll suggest something and I’ll turn my monitor to her showing it done the second before. We finish each other’s sandwiches and we wash our hair on the same day.

‘Bitches n’ Ho’s: This kind of discussion includes rating girls numerically, calling ‘shotgun’ on new attractive females around the office, discussing details of weekend hook-ups and listing favourite pornstars. On occasion I have actally forgotten Steph’s a girl and have (in)famously called ‘shotgun’ on a particularly cute girl in Steph’s presence. When Clare was around it was less likely to happen, but with Will around I slip up now and again.

This twilight zone’esque bond is not without hiccups mind you. We have our ups and downs and a unique relationship has formed out of this, if only through trial and error. There are things you definitely don’t do to your co-editor (ie pushing them through a window) but we’ve covered that already. It’s the grey areas that have moulded our editorship. The things I don’t really see as inappropriate, but probably should. We’ve come up with a few basic rules of what NOT to do in order to maintain a happy and cohesive working relationship:

Medical Stories: It turns out Steph doesn’t actually find it interesting how I once vomited a ‘goo-snake’ of phlegm so long it hit the ground and was still erupting from me, painfully slowly. Nor does she want to now about the UTI, which resulted in me peeing blood. If it involved bodily fluids, its probably best left out.

Social boundaries: Steph and I get along like houses. But we don’t ‘hang out’. In fact, more often than not, after a hard week’s editing we’re more than happy to walk opposite direction with nary more than a parting wave and a puff of Marlboro Red smoke. We’ll have a drink at the Exeter, but we do not holiday together. Ever. Maybe one day, in a galaxy far, far away…

“I once vomited a ‘goo-snake’ of phlegm so long it hit the ground... still erupting from me”

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine

‘No’ Means ‘No’: As previously stated, girls who are ‘like one of the boys’ are just that. Like. Not actually. When Steph says “don’t push me” as she enters a window, I do not push her, not even in fun. When Steph tells me not to bring up long-dead social skeletons, even in jest, I’ve learned not to, and when Steph says not to tell her one of my hilarious medical stories I refrain. I usually prompt her to see if she’s sure. She is. ‘Yes’ can also mean ‘No’: When the above social faux pas’ have been committed and you are asked if you’d like to repeat yourself, don’t. The one and only time I did this, the rage which ensued left me both giggling in panic and realistically gauging whether or not I could survive the 2 and a half story fall if I jumped out the window, such was the fear I felt.

’ll give her this; that Steph is a tolerant gal. You’d have to be to work 2 and a half times a normal working week with someone who’s a charmer when he’s down and belligerent when he’s up, for some perverse reason. I’m no doubt a better man for her, and I haven’t been run over once this year. Now, I’ll just keep whatever’s going on inside my left shoe to myself I think…

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thanks goes out to these guys for prizes: The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine On Dit

On Dit The Adelaide Uni Student Magazine