On Dit 2014 82.8: Elle Dit

82.8

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contents

VOLUME EIGHTY-TWO, ELLE DIT.

ON ITI

2 4 6 8 10

IN GHANA

DEM

GE PA

O L

CARTOON WOMEN’S OFFICER SPIEL STUDENT POLITICS VOX POP WHAT’S ON

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Q&A: EMPIRE TIMES STUDY DRUGS LGBT RIGHTS IN INDIA FEATURED ARTIST

P-PLATE LAWS

FEMINISMS BREAST LUMP SCIENCE ILLUMINATI

15 17 21 24 26 30 31 34 37

CREATIVE WRITING COLUMNS REVIEWS DIVERSIONS EMMA’S DILEMMAS

40 41 44 46 48

Interwebs: auu.org.au/ondit. I’m a female rebel.

Editors: Sharmonie Cockayne, Daisy Freeburn and Yasmin Martin.

Front cover artwork by Madeleine Karutz.

On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union.

On Dit is produced and printed on the traditional country of the Kuarna people of the Adelaide Plains. We recognise and respect their cultural heritage, beliefs and relationship with the land.

Published 12/8/2014

editorial

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f its 82-year history, On Dit has had three all-women editorial teams: us, and two other teams in 2006 and 2001. We don’t have a record of when On Dit had its first woman-editor, but we do know that that in 1941, the only editor position available to women was as Sub or Social Editress, and On Dit published its first Women’s Edition in 1990.

A lot has changed in 70 years. Women now fly planes and run for government, and On Dit no longer runs a ‘Bird of the Week’ segment. In many ways we’ve grown up, but there’s still plenty more room to grow.

When we decided to run for On Dit as a team last year, our decision was mostly met with positivity and excitement. The fact that we were an all-women team seemed a minor detail to most. It was interesting, but not entirely significant.

To others, our election would surely spell the end of On Dit’s annual women-only edition, Elle Dit. The

magazine has three women editors now, surely they’ve crossed the finishing line? Well, they’re not entirely wrong.

Things are looking pretty good in our little slice of Adelaide. On Dit is edited by three women, as is Flinders University’s student mag, Empire Times. In fact, women now make up around 70 per cent of Australia’s journalism students. So why would we possibly need an edition dedicated entirely to women’s contributions?

The sad fact is, of course, that these successes are mostly superficial.

Whilst there may be more female journalists than men these days, that doesn’t mean that they get a share in the power, or the money. Women only hold 10 per cent of top executive media positions, and are typically paid less than their male colleagues.

And yet whilst female representation in media is at an all time high, much of the message remains the same: women and their voices are just not on the same playing field.

Last year, Esquire UK editor Alex Bilmes said, ‘The women that we feature in the magazine are ornamental. That is how we see them.’

American sports radio host Damon Bruce said ‘a lot of sports has lost its way, and... part of the reason is because we’ve got women giving us directions.’ And our own PM once said that he doesn’t think ‘it’s a bad thing at all that we always have, say, more women doing things like physiotherapy and an enormous number of women simply doing housework’.

We need Elle Dit because women deserve better representation in the media, and it’s still not happening.

This magazine is a space for women and women-identifying students to write about whatever the fuck they want, because, to be frank, that sort of space can be hard to find sometimes.

love, Sharmonie, Daisy and Yasmin.

regulars

by Madeleine Karutz

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Thank you to Sarah, Cleo, Justina, Ange, Iddy, Jenny, Gale, Di and Tobetta for food, coffee, copy editing and distribution.

glorious leaders

student representative column holly ritson, src women’s officer

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Bluestockings Week (breakfast on August 14 — email me for details) and acted as a voice for women on council (not that my voice is alone — in 2014, of the 15 SRC office bearers, 8 are women).

For the rest of 2014, I’ll use my position to put forward the needs and interests of women on campus. If there’s something you’d like to see done, an issue that needs resolving, or a conversation that needs to be had, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

I’m currently six months away from graduating from a degree in Law and Development Studies. It might seem like a long time ago, but 133 years ago I wouldn’t have been allowed to even attend this university — our University of Adelaide was only the second university in the world to allow women to pursue their dreams of tertiary education.

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ike many other students, I spend a lot of time procrastinating by reflecting on life, the universe, and just how am I going to get a job after I graduate next year (hint: applying for 40 jobs a week probably won’t get me too far). Lucky for me, and for you, dear reader, the annual publication of Elle Dit somewhat justifies this indulgent self-reflection.

This year’s edition of Elle Dit coincides with Bluestockings Week, an initiative of the National Tertiary Education Union. While I’ve been at uni, I’ve had the opportunity to be taught by, mentored by and learn from excellent women. Bluestockings Week is an opportunity to recognise and celebrate this. If you’re interested in learning more about the struggles and successes of women as university staff, I encourage you to check out http://www.nteu.org.au/ women/bluestockingweek. This year’s focus is on sharing the diversity of stories and experiences of women in universities. While the University of Adelaide isn’t doing too badly in its gender equality efforts, there are still discrepancies at higher levels of employment (academic and otherwise), and while there is some diversity amongst staff, this is rarely promoted or celebrated.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the Women’s Officer on the Student Representative Council. This means I’m responsible for representing women and women-identifying students on campus. This year I’ve organised events for International Women’s Day and

Numbers like that help to put things in perspective. While I, as a white, educated, middle-class woman don’t really have much to worry about, two generations ago I probably would be nursing child number three by now.

The fact that I can turn on the TV and see women just like me reporting the news, or running the country, or (occasionally) playing sport is a pretty blunt indication of how far we’ve come with respect to gender equality. That I have had the opportunity to study at university and I can make choices about my career, family, education, relationships, sexuality and brand of washing powder are in large part thanks to the efforts of many brave and intelligent women.

There is a certain comfort in this knowledge that makes it easy to suggest that women don’t need feminism anymore.

Sure, some women can work, and access birth control, and it’s okay not to shave your legs in winter, so what’s there left to whinge about?

Allow me my Women’s Officer entitlement to ‘at least one public feminist rant per term’ and I’ll try to explain.

In short: there’s still a long way to go to achieving gender equality.

As a nearly-graduate and a woman, I’m a bit worried. It’s quite likely that I’ll be turned down for jobs in favour of someone who won’t potentially get pregnant, because apparently having a child is incompatible with working in a professional environment.

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Assuming I get a job, as a woman, it’s likely I’ll earn around $5000 less than the men I graduate with, meaning I’d take longer to pay off my HECS debt and pay even more interest. And that’s without taking into consideration time off for parental leave.

Despite equal pay legislation being introduced in the 1970s, on average, in 2014, women still earn around 17 per cent less than men doing the same work.1 In other numbers, a woman would have to work 64 extra days in a year to make the same amount of money as a man. Though the reasons for this are complex and intersecting, most of the time the inequality stems from some discrimination against or lack of opportunities for women.

Although I’m lucky enough to be able to choose whether or not I want children, I’m already having conversations with strangers in which they assume I’m in the baby-making business (Pharmacy Assistant: ‘oh yes, that moisturiser’s great for tender nipples.’) There is this social expectation that women should have babies that I’m having to awkwardly grapple with. As I’d respect any woman’s choice to have a child (or not have a child) at whatever point they wish, I’d also like not to have to defend my choices to the world at large.

Similarly, if I were to have a child, I think it’s a pretty simple request to ask for paid parental leave, and the opportunity to return to work after giving birth. A recent Australian Human Rights Commission inquiry found that one in two mothers experience workplace discrimination related to pregnancy, so chances are at some point I’ll have to choose between a family and a career. Mr Abbott, Mr Shorten, Mr Bebbington — is this a choice you considered?

For me, the prospect of having responsibility for another human being is still a distant and terrifying concept — I’m more worried about the expiry date on the milk in my sharehouse fridge than my ovaries. For some uni students, however, practical issues such as access to affordable childcare and the lack of breastfeeding facilities on campus, and social struggles related to raising a child are real right now. So maybe cut that mature age student who managed to feed and dress a child, deal with peak hour traffic, do a load of washing, and do all the seminar readings before you even checked Facebook a bit of slack.

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Workplace Gender Equality Agency, Gender Pay Gap Statistics 2014.

Thinking more broadly, when gender inequality intersects with other social or financial circumstances, the disadvantages faced by women are stark. While my biggest concerns are related to employment and childbirth, women of colour, women from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds, women with a lower socio-economic status, queer women, transgender women, and women with disabilities face barriers that I can’t possibly understand. Women are disproportionately the victims of domestic violence and are increasingly represented in homelessness statistics. For these women, their disadvantage as a woman is real.

I could go on — everyday sexism, the perceived comfort in calling a friend and holding my keys when I’m walking home alone at night, the prevalence of sexual harassment on campus, in the street and in work places, violence against women, body image pressures … There’s no lack of things for women (and men) to be really concerned about.

While I am your women’s officer, smashing the patriarchy certainly isn’t just a woman’s work. In fact, it’s not even the work of a women’s collective. It’s something that everyone can be involved with. Whether it’s calling out sexist comments, avoiding victim blaming2 or shutting down rape jokes, little changes in the way we talk about women can have big impacts on the way we understand gender.

Achieving equality requires those with power to cede it in someway. This might look like encouraging women to speak up more in tutorials, which can be as simple as not speaking yourself. It’s also as easy as giving women the space to express their own opinions, concerns and dreams — space such as a women’s room, or the following pages of this magazine.

Email: srcwomens@auu.org.au Twitter: @hollyaritson Bluestockings Breakfast 7:30am-9am Thursday August 14th 2014 $5/$10 students/non-students includes hot breakfast Email srcwomens@auu.org.au for tickets/details.

Comments like ‘yeah, but what was she wearing’ or ‘she shouldn’t have been walking down that street at night’ or ‘she was probably drunk’. It’s never the victim’s fault.

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reportage

This is student politics

words by Yasmin

Art by Sharmonie

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If you were un-lucky enough to still be at university at 5pm on a Thursday night, you may have heard the distinct battle cry of students with a cause: chanting and deafening shouting. You could be forgiven for assuming that the endless calls to end the bureaucracy were part of yet another rally against the government’s cuts to higher education, or the lives lost every day in the IsraelPalestine conflict. Unfortunately, you’d be wrong.

Instead, the chants were for an issue much closer to campus, and yet still inexplicably related to both international conflict and federal budgets.

If you read the last edition of On Dit from cover-tocover (someone has to!), then you would know that the Student Representative Council (SRC) has recently discussed potentially cutting the positions of the Social Justice and Environment Officers.

The SRC have floated this idea several times in the last few years, and it has already been subject to much debate.

However, this is the first time that the SRC have made it past the discussion phase, and into screaming-protestors-phase, which is naturally the next step.

The conflict lies between those that are considering cutting the positions (the SRC), and those that are vehemently and emphatically opposed. Leading the charge against the changes is current Social Justice Officer Thomas Gilchrist.

On the night that the SRC were to vote on passing an in-principle motion supporting these and other changes (Thursday July 31st), Gilchrist, the President of the Socialist Alternative Club, led a protest of approximately 25 people to the SRC meeting.

Gilchrist and his supporters were very vocal both at the SRC meeting and on social media, where student representatives from around the country expressed their solidarity and condemned the SRC President.

The criticisms of President Lucy Small-Pearce seemed slightly misguided, as although Small-Pearce supports the changes, they can only be brought about

if the majortiy of the SRC votes in favour. As the Chair of SRC meetings, Small-Pearce cannot cast a vote unless required to break a tie.

The SRC first discussed changing the structure of the council at its Strategic Planning Day on May 3rd – May Day. The Strategic Planning Day exists to allow the SRC to have lengthy informal discussions about goals and improvements for the organisation. The council discussed the necessity of creating another PostGraduate Officer position on the council after receiving recommendations from various post-graduate students.

The SRC typically has a low post-grad membership (often as few as one Post-Graduate Officer), despite post-grad students having a strong presence on campus.

The SRC agreed that it was important to increase the representation of post-grad students.

It was suggested that it would be necessary to create the second position, allowing for a PostGraduate (Coursework) Officer, and a Post-Graduate (Research) Officer. However, some SRC members, including Small-Pearce, felt that adding a position to the already 22-strong council would make the SRC ineffective and unmanageable.

The focus then turned to the Social Justice and Environment Officer positions as potential to make some room on the SRC. According to SRC meeting papers, the Social Justice and Environment portfolio are ‘somewhat difficult’ to cover, and many of the campaigns taken on by them can be taken up by General Councillors. Sometimes these campaigns encroach on the autonomy of autonomous office bearers. It was decided that the Social Justice and Environment portfolios would be sacrificed. The SRC agreed to have the changes proposed formally at the next SRC meeting.

The conflict boils down to this: some SRC members believe that the Social Justice and Environment portfolios are not necessary for the SRC to achieve it’s student representation goals, and that the types of campaigns conducted by these offices should be

reportage

politics: justice & protests

asmin Martin

harmonie cockayne

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picked up by General Councillors and relevant autonomous office bearers.

President Small-Pearce pointed to the limited funding and resources available to the SRC. Both sides seem to agree that the creation of a second Post-Graduate Officer is necessary, but she believes that it simply wouldn’t be feasible for her or future presidents to manage more volunteers if the SRC were to create a new Post-Graduate position:

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‘This was proposed and passed in principle because all SRC members supported it and given that there are SRC members from many different factions, faculties and political views we assumed that was fairly representative of what students would think … Until we are able to get more funding we are unable to simply add office bearers without thinking about the overall balance of the SRC and our ability to manage it.

We are working on getting more funding, and are progressively getting more funding each year. However, that is an ongoing process, and in the short term we need to think about our structure.’

“

Gilchrist, however, has voiced concerns that removing the positions would weaken activism within the SRC.

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‘ t a time when social justice could not be more under attack, A and at a time when climate change deniers run this country, I and others are deeply opposed to getting rid of Social Justice Officer and Environment Officer.’

Those opposed to the SRC’s proposal made their feelings very clear by protesting loudly at the July 31st SRC meeting. This writer assumes that the protest was at least in part organised by Socialist Alternative, as he attributed the support he received at the meeting to Socialist Alternative on the Facebook Event page for the protest.

About 25 protestors gathered at the meeting and employed chants and shouting to make their concerns heard. At several points during the meeting, the Flinders University Student’s Association (FUSA) President, Grace Hill, was heard accusing Small-Pearce of employing bureaucratic manoeuvres to thwart the

protest. Whilst Small-Pearce did threaten to eject protestors and call security, she maintains that she was attempting to follow proper meeting procedure as laid out in the SRC constitution. The protestors did shout over SRC members attempting to participate in the debate, and at one point the Women’s Officer, Holly Ritson, said she felt intimidated and uncomfortable.

The meeting ended with the SRC passing a motion to reaffirm it’s commitment to keeping the Social Justice and Environment positions, whilst also adding an additional Post-Graduate Officer – a stark contrast to the previous meeting where the SRC had voted unanimously to remove the Social Justice and Environment portfolios.

Small-Pearce said she believes that SRC members were bullied into taking this new position, as several members have since expressed feelings of intimidation and fear during the meeting. Some members have even approached her requesting that they employ secret ballots at future meetings so that they can vote conscientiously without pressure or intimidation.

The opponents to the SRC’s proposed structural changes certainly had the right to voice their opinions, and in fact all SRC meetings are open to all University of Adelaide students to attend and participate in (meeting details are on the AUU website).

What do you think of the protestor’s methods? Do you think they would have been able to achieve the same result by participating in chaired debate, or did they take the best course of action available? Do you think positions like Social Justice Officer and Environment Officer are vital to student representation?

Email us at ondit@adelaide.edu.au and share with us your views on the matter!

Yasmin Martin would like to thank Pringles, Coke and cheese for the creation of this article.

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Bec // 2nd year education

Louise // 3rd year

Tam // 2nd year

1. It means being proud of being female - all aspects: body, spirit, mind. Not trying to be a man.

1. To not give way to a man’s power.

To have equal rights.

1. It is someone’s point of view.

2. Real.

3. It’s a great word!

4. ‘Survivor’ by Destiny’s Child.

5. EDM music festival, like Stereosonic but bigger.

6. Best: We don’t have to play five sets of tennis.

Worst: Pap smears and periods.

geology

2. I don’t know what it is.

3. It’s a bad word.

4. ‘Eye of the Tiger’.

5. Women’s Day? Where the boys have to be really sweet for once.

6. Best: Giving birth.

Worst: Too much sensibility.

commerce

2. Not sure.

3. Indifferent.

4. I have no idea what this means.

5. A judo event where there are mats in the Hub and people can throw each other.

6. Best: Having the law slant in favour of women in some cases.

This isn’t actually a good thing but it means in some cases women have more rights.

Worst: Gender inequality and discrimination.

regulars

On Dit popped these students’ voxes and asked: 1. What does ‘feminist’ mean to you?

2. The Illuminati: Real or not?

3. How do you feel about the word ‘cunt’?

4. Your go-to girl power song?

5. What kind of event would you like the university to throw for their students?

6. Best and worst thing about being a woman?

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dentistry

Brittany // 1st Year

Danielle // 1st Year dental surgery

sarah // 3rd Year

1. Someone who kicks patriarchal butt.

1. Not being pitted as the weaker sex.

1. If you’re not one, I have zero time for you.

2. Probably real. But can’t say that I care.

2. It’s interesting to see people trying to show us it’s real, but I don’t strongly believe it’s real.

2. No, but the lizard people are the real deal.

3. Freedom of expression.

4. ‘Flawless’ by Beyonce. Guilty.

5. Seven day bender during O-Week.

6. Best: Probably multiple orgasms.

Worst: Probably everything else.

3. I don’t personally like the word.

4. ‘Try’ by Colbie Caillat.

5. A beach party event.

6. Best: PMS as an excuse.

Worst: PMS.

media

3. #YOLO. (Well, depends.)

4. Nicki’s verse from ‘Monster’.

5. Summer time outdoor film screenings on the Barr Smith Lawns.

6. Best: IDK, Vibrators?

Worst: Men. Oh, and pap smears.

what’s on

regulars

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hey there, stranger.

On this page you’ll find all of the events, info, strange things people say sometimes, news, bake sales, pub crawls, tarp-surfing competitions and anything else you could possibly want to know about the University of Adelaide. Did we miss anything? Let us know at ondit@adelaide.edu.au.

textbooks pr o test What: The Student Co-op Bookshop When: 10am - 4pm Tuesdays and Thursdays Where: Level 4, 230 North Terrace

What: National Day of Action against cuts to higher education When: 3pm, August 20th Where: Parliament House, North Terrace

b a s k et b a l l adelaide uni to u r n a me n t film society What: Inter-Faculty 3x3 Basketball Tournament When: September 7th Where: Thebarton Campus Gymnasium The Basics: - 1 female and 1 male team per Faculty - 1 female and 1 male AU Basketball Club team - 4 - 6 players per team Cost: $10 entry per person More Info: theblacks.com.au

What: Film screenings When: 7pm every Thursday Where: Union Cinema, Level 5 Union Building, University of Adelaide.

Week 3 - Pacific Rim Week 4 - Anime Double Feature Scanner Darkly/Ghost in the Shell Week 5 - M Week 6 - Vertigo Week 7 - Air Force One Week 8 - Wrath of Khan

free brekky unibar gigs What: Weekly free breakfasts to keep our keen eyed students healthy and happy on campus.

When: Every Tuesday (excluding holidays), 8.30am – 10am Where: The Fix Lounge (next to Unibooks) Brought to you

by Student Care and the SRC.

Megan Washington 8pm, August 23rd The Kite String Tangle When: 8.30pm, August 29th The Aston Shuffle When: 8.30pm, August 30th Northeast Party House & Crooked Colours When: 7pm, October 11th

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The UofA Theatre Guild presents: ‘No Man’s Land’.

That Dapper Market When: 3pm - 9pm , August 30th Where: 17 Park Tce, Bowden.

When: 7.30pm, August, Sat 2nd, Tues-Sat 5-9 and 12-16 Where: The Little Theatre Tickets: $28 Full / $23 Concession More info: http://www.adelaide. edu.au/theatreguild/

Pride Club Party When: 9pm - 12pm, August 22nd Where: Jah’z Lounge, 10 Vaughan Place, Adelaide Attire: Colour and glitter.

Who can come? Anyone queer or queer friendly that wants to PARTY. Cost: $10 – includes 1 drink, finger food and rad entertainment. RSVP.

m a r k ets Round She Goes When: 10am - 3pm, August 23rd Where: The German Club Hall, 223 Flinders Street, Adelaide.

Gillies St Market When: 10am - 4pm, August 17th and September 21st (3rd Sunday of every month).

Where: Gilles Street Primary School, Adelaide.

Fishermen’s Wharf Markets When: 9am - 5pm Sundays and Monday public holidays.

Where: Black Diamond Square, Port Adelaide.

Adelide Central Market Market Week When: September 2nd - 6th Where: Adelaide Central Market, Adelaide.

city to bay psych ball Are you thinking of running in the City-Bay? Do it with The Blacks!

Runners and walkers will paint the town (and sea) black, whether it’s over 3km, 6km or 12km.

When: 8am - 12pm, September 14th Where: City - Bay The Exclusive $20 Team Package comes jam packed: - The Blacks team singlet - Tailored 12-week training program - Chance to win oodles of prizes More info: theblacks.com.au

What: The University of Adelaide Psychology Students’ Association When: 6.30pm - 11pm, September 19th Where: The Park View Room, Adelaide Pavilion Theme: A Red Carpet Affair Tickets: $75 each. From 11am-3pm at the Psychos stall in the Hub.

hip hop

Free Style Session Australia When: September 13th Where: Australia Dance Theatre (Wonderland Ball Room), 126 Belair, Hawthorn.

unithrive comp

overheard

UniThrive are launching their blog, and are running a Creative Images Competition to help celebrate. Submit UniThrive inspired art to www.adelaide.edu.au/uni-thrive/engage/competitions/ to win a $100 UniBooks voucher. A donation of $1 will be made to 1 of 4 charities for every entry received. Entries close August 17th.

In regards to the pointless bridge next to the Hub: ‘We should name it’. ~ Overheard at the University of Adelaide Facebook page.

training student Courses elections Having trouble finding a job? The Adelaide University Union offers discounted, accredited training courses to students. Check out auu.org.au/Store/ to find out more.

Yep, they’re coming.

Prepare yourself.

When: Monday September 1st - 5th.

Where: The Barr Smith Lawns, The Hub, Waite and Roseworthy Union offices.

you had me at hello.

Email: ondit@adelaide.edu.au Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onditmagazine Twitter: @onditmagazine Instagram: @onditmag Snail Mail: On Dit, c/o Adelaide University Union, Level 4 Union House, University of Adelaide, 5005 In Real Life: Pop into our office on the West side of the Barr Smith Lawns. Yep, you’ll have to walk down those gloomy looking stairs. Sorry.

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feature

demolition at Tema words and images by tali slater

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W

e instantly knew we were in the right place.

Rubble, dust, broken concrete slabs, scattered bricks, half-standing houses and tents with the distinctive blue United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) logo all signified something wasn’t right here. It looked like a warzone.

We had travelled for an hour down a red dusty road in a beat-up old trotro (van), routinely stopping to ask local street sellers and children for directions. I was in Ghana, West Africa, as part of the Law School’s Human Rights Internship Program. I was working at the Human Rights Advocacy Centre (HRAC), a local non-government organisation (NGO), and we had been sent there to assess the situation. It was worse than any

of us had expected. A few weeks earlier, the homes of over 1000 people had been on this site in Tema, a city slightly east of the capital Accra. Locals told us that two hundred police officers and defence personnel had been sent in with bulldozers. They fired shots in the air and used tear gas to ensure the residents could not get in the way as the bulldozers demolished their homes. Unable to return to their properties to retrieve their belongings, residents were literally left with only the clothes on their backs.

The residents explained that they had not received proper warning – in fact, a local authority had informed them just a few days earlier that the demolition would not occur. The residents told us that a school, a church and a mosque were also destroyed in the process.

The personal stories of the residents were distressing to hear. We were told that a mother had returned from hospital with her week-old child and was now living in a United Nations tent with ten other people. Others were sleeping under mosquito nets because there weren’t enough tents.

A man told me that his wife had taken their three children back to her family village. There was nowhere for them to stay in Tema and the children were without a school. The family made the decision that it was better for them to stay with relatives for the time being. However they had no way of contacting the father once they left, so he didn’t know whether they had arrived safely.

Many of the people I spoke to had lost both their homes and their sources of income. One

feature

particular woman had her shop and her house in the demolition zone. She had lived there for ten years and built her own home.

Now she was without a home and without a source of income. Her son explained that her shop was the primary source of income for the entire family; what were they supposed to do now?

of homes and shops in the town of Adenta. Residents in the suburb of Dansoman are now facing an imminent demolition, after the Ghanaian High Court ordered that a slum in the area must be removed.

The Accra Metropolitan Assembly has stated that police will again be deployed to assist in the removal of residents from the area.

For the first few weeks after the demolition occurred the residents had no source of water on the site.

A few days before we arrived, a local church had provided them with a small tank, but it was hardly sufficient for the number of people still living there.

So why are these demolitions occurring? In Ghana, it comes down to a number of factors: a complicated system of land ownership, an under-resourced legal system and a conflict between the rights of slum dwellers and the need for development.

Sadly, this was not the first demolition in Ghana this year. In January, a man was killed as he protested against the demolition of hundreds

A new system of land registration was introduced in Ghana in 2010 but is yet to prove effective in providing residents of slums with

land ownership rights. In Tema the residents claimed that they had paid for their land and had papers that proved their title. The Tema Development Corporation also claimed to have valid ownership of the land, and this conflict resulted in the demolition.

While the residents could take the matter to the courts seeking compensation, it would be an expensive and drawn-out process.

In 2013 there were 111,947 cases on the courts’ waiting list in Ghana.

The number of new cases over land disputes coming before the courts outweighs those being settled, and 50 per cent of all civil cases in Ghana relate to land. If their case did get through the queue and make it to court it is still unlikely it would be heard quickly; one survey found that 40.9 per cent

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of respondents had attended court more than 21 times for one case, with hearings constantly being adjourned.

The demolition of slums and illegal structures is not a problem limited to Ghana. It was estimated that in 2012 there were 863 million urban residents living in slums worldwide. sub-Saharan Africa had the highest proportion of people living in slums in urban areas, estimated by the United Nations to be 62 per cent.

In recent years forced evictions and demolitions of slums have been widely reported in India, Venezuela, Nigeria and most recently Brazil in preparation for the World Cup. With the number of people living in slums projected to double by 2030, forced evictions and demolitions are likely to increase.

Ghana has ratified a number of international conventions that create a right to adequate housing.

The International Convention on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, which has been ratified by most countries, recognises the right of every person to an adequate standard of living, including housing. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights also contains a right to adequate

housing. On a regional level, the African Commission on Human and Peoples’ Rights has held that a right to shelter or housing is inferred in the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights.

The United Nations Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights has stated that the right to adequate housing includes protection against forced eviction and arbitrary destruction or demolition of a person’s home, and should include adequate access to legal remedies.

The international agreements ratified by Ghana should have ensured that the rights of the people of Tema were protected.

But the overburdened and under resourced legal system, and a lack of political will to protect these rights meant that the residents’ houses could be demolished.

The Tema Development Corporation says it will now use the land to build new low cost housing. This development has come at a high price for the original residents.

When I left Ghana in February the residents of Tema were hoping

that media attention and the activism of the Human Rights Advocacy Centre might persuade the Government to provide them with some compensation. Without the resources to take the matter to court it was improbable that they would ever get a legal remedy.

If the residents of Tema ever receive compensation from the Government for the destruction of their homes, shops and community buildings, it is unlikely to make up for the loss they have suffered.

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Empire Times a conversation between on dit and flinders university’s student magazine words by sharmonie cockayne encourage a variety of contributors and have a lively team of sub-editors, columnists, photographers, illustrators and designers that collaborate on each issue.

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omething unique happened in the South Australian student media world this year. By chance, both the University of Adelaide’s and Flinders University’s student publications, On Dit and Empire Times respectively, happened upon all female editorial teams. In celebration of Blue Stockings Week, Empire Times’ newly relaunched magazine and, to be quite honest, ourselves (girl power, yo), we sat down with Empire Times’ editors, Jess, Jade and Bethany to talk media, magazines and menstruation (jokes).

Tell me a bit about Empire Times and the history of the mag.

Jess: Empire Times is the student publication of Flinders University, it’s in its 41st year of publication, but there was a bit of a hiatus when VSU hit. It represents the student body, student culture and student voice. Empire Times was first edited by Martin Fabinyi in 1969 and was published in a newspaper format, being the only student paper with its own student controlled printing press. In 2006, when the magazine retired due to Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU), Libertine magazine popped up in its wake, which was a quarterly A5 mag.

Empire Times was revived by the newly created student association (FUSA) for its 40th year. Empire Times’ Andrew McHugh, who edited the magazine from 1974 to 1976 reflects, ‘Nothing was too big, or too small, or too trivial, or too obscure, for Empire Times to have an opinion about’ and was present for the longest student protest in 1974 where students occupied the Registry Building for one month, which was triggered by issues over university assessment. Empire Times includes feature articles, politics, poetry, opinion pieces, interviews, illustrations, photography, and endeavours to feature reviews of music, film, books, art, food and zines in each issue. Today, Empire Times is published as a magazine with 10 issues per academic year that can be found scattered around the Flinders University campus and online at issuu.com. We three editors support and

Did Empire Times have a heyday? When was it?

Bethany: From what I understand from reading up on the history of Empire Times, our heyday was probably in its sapling days, in the good ol’ 70s. The issues back then were shunned and fraught with controversy as students found their chance to voice opinions on issues such as the ever-turbulent Vietnam War, women’s rights, gay rights, and other topics. Allegedly, one of our first printers was also thought to be the origin of fraud bank notes in Australia when the magazine first started.

One of the best rumours about the magazine is that in the 80s the editors dropped a tag of acid on a particular page of their print edition. Obviously, we can’t find the issue but I like to think if we did there would be a little piece of paper missing in each issue.

How did each of you get into your position as editor?

Jess: During the relaunch of 2013, I was a contributor for Empire Times, submitting poetry and music reviews. I had an absolute ball with it and the editors at the time were incredibly helpful in developing my writing skills.

The editorial team for Empire Times 2014 was originally decided through a student election, however, before the academic year began one of the editors left, so FUSA advertised to refill the position. I didn’t run in the election because I was in the middle of a study abroad application and figured my future had already been determined. However, when the election closed there was that niggling feeling I didn’t make the most of an opportunity. When I saw the advertisement for one editor’s position I kind of took it as a sign and decided to quell that niggling feeling by applying to see if it was ‘meant to be’. As soon as I found out I got the job, I halted the student abroad application and chose to pursue something even better.

Jade: It starts off in a village not far away away from Narnia. Nah not really, this is how it went: I had read, enjoyed and stalked all the vox pops of the 2013 ET issues and fell in love with the magazine. At the end of 2013 the callout went out for new editors for 2014 and

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I was like why not? I like reading ET and, like Big Bang Theory, decision made. I got a call back for an interview but was denied the position. However, all was not lost.

Not long after the start of 2014, I got a call saying an editor had left and the position was mine if I wanted it, and man did I want it. And that, my friends, is how you make cookies.

sole responsible guardians. We spend as much time as we can spare between work and study on the magazine, usually summing up to around 25-30 hours per week. I suppose a lot of the time it also depends on how much content has come through, what design work needs to be done, etc. However, so far, no all-nighters or fights have sprung up between us editors, which is great.

Bethany: I saw an advertisement for editor pop up in my emails while I was doing an unpaid internship with a publishing company. I was on my lunch break at the time, so I just shrugged and decided to apply on a whim.

I knew I had quite a bit of experience, but I was very sure I had goofed the interview up with my amazing social skills. So when the call came that I had gotten the position, I practically screeched down the phone in happiness. I was over the moon.

What are the perks and are there any drawbacks?

Jess: Being a student editor at Empire Times has endless perks. It connects you with a community that is brimming with talented and passionate people and you are given the privilege of becoming a part of their lives at university. You are suddenly granted access to information that affects you and your fellow students and can provide exposure to those who deserve it. We have been given and sought fantastic opportunities we otherwise probably wouldn’t have experienced, like interviewing famous comedians, artists and musicians. There are always challenging aspects to being a student editor, like balancing study and the magazine, working as a team when there are conflicting opinions, and attempting to salvage a personal life. When you’re a student editor, you’re responsible for something that gives students the right to express their sense of self and when you successfully do that through producing a magazine full of life, colour, controversy and passion, you know that all the late nights and early mornings were worth it. The magazine becomes your baby, something you want to nurture, develop, educate and send off into the world to make a difference, because you know it will.

Do you have specific roles within the team?

Jade: As an awesome sauce group we don’t have agreedupon roles within the group, we all try to do a bit of everything. Jess pulls us together and takes more of a management role; if we have colour pages, Jess is the one that shows us where and draws up the layout for us.

We used to do a bit of a division of labour, like we all get to pick a third of the covers or we manage particular sections. But now we’ve gone down a path of picking based on content and what we’d each like to edit and design. As a team we work collaboratively and independently on creating the issue in which we all have the role of administrator, designers, communicators, dancers and much, much more!

On Dit also has an all female team this year. That doesn’t happen very often for or our mag. Is it an odd occurrence for Empire Times?

Bethany: It is my understanding that before I became editor for the Empire Times, there was an all female team already in action. I’m not exactly sure on the specifics of how far back the ET tree goes, but I’ve met with past editors who have been both male and female. I’m just glad that we all seem to get along and work together without any hassle! I think it was around 1992 that there was an all female team. I’m sure there would have been more since then but one of the ex-editors is now an academic at Flinders. Last year, for the 40th anniaversary, there was a panel event and I remember that back then having an all female team was pretty tough. Steph [Walker, ex On Dit editor and current FUSA employee] also says that On Dit had an all female team in 2006, which was awesome, but they still copped a bunch of flak for being ladies.

How much time per week do you spend on the mag?

Bethany: Empire Times is like a baby that many different people are tending to at the same time, but we are the

What do you see for Empire Times in the future?

Do you have a long term goal for the magazine?

Jade: The magazine is in a special point in its life due to its recent relaunch. We have students who mostly weren’t around when it last existed and we have staff and post grads who have high expectations that we stay true to what it was. We do our best! So we need to build awareness of who we are all over again which gains momentum with every issue, but we don’t have 82 straight years of print like you, unfortunately! My crystal ball says ‘Empire Times will have a bright and strong future’. As I currently see it, Empire Times is a reflection of the dedicated, strong, powerful and inspired students of Flinders University.

Therefore, if the students believe in the power of their voices and utilise the medium provided to them, Empire Times will be around for a very, very, very long time.

Sharmonie would like some peanut butter Tim Tams please.

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cognitive junkies words by paige kerin art by amanda li

W

hen I first heard of ‘smart drugs’ (also known as ‘study drugs’), the only comparison I had to draw upon was from the film Limitless starring Bradley Cooper. If you haven’t seen it, Cooper discovered a magical drug that allowed him to speak fluent Chinese and master the stock market overnight.

It helped him focus, memorize and use further abilities of his brain. Turns out this concept isn’t completely out of this world.

If you’ve got no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to give you a quick explanation. Smart drugs known to the scientific community as ‘nootropics’ - were derived from the substance Piracetam by Romanian scientist, Dr. Corneliu Giuregea, when he accidentally concocted it in his laboratory.

He defined this class of drugs by their ability to boost memory and learning, strengthen behavior, protect the brain from chemical and physical injury and, most importantly, have virtually undetectable toxicity.

How does it work scientifically? I’ll tell ya. Piracetam, the key ingredient in nootopics, combines with

glutamate receptors in the brain to reduce the levels of the neurotransmitter ‘glutamate’ (when it is high it’s a toxin, involved in neurodegenerative disorders). It increases the blood flow (and therefore oxygen flow) to the brain, and makes cell membranes more fluid, which allows our neurotransmitters to fire a lot faster. Also, as you may know from Year 10 Science, our brain is divided into two hemispheres. Piracetam

helps information move from one hemisphere to the other. And, finally, it modulates protein synthesis (I’m not making this shit up), which is important for our brains to formulate long-term memories, and increases the production of acetylcholine, which is the key ingredient for learning and memory.

Okay, take a break. That was a lot of science. Basically, after this

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That is until one day someone without any of these conditions connected the dots and took one – maybe because they were having trouble concentrating, remembering something, or couldn’t sleep.

From then on it was clear that people suffering from no brain injuries at all could also experience the benefits of nootropics.

In recent years there has been an explosion of students taking what we now know as smart drugs in order to concentrate and improve study. Now let’s be clear about one thing: I’m not telling you not to do it, and I’m not telling you to do it - I just want people to be aware of the pros, the cons (because there definitely are cons), and, because some people will

no doubt continue taking them despite being made aware of the risks of consumption, the right way to do it.

My interest in this topic was piqued while studying for exams on my semester abroad (which, I’ll have you know, makes it 50 times harder to study for exams). I resorted to Googling techniques for more effective study, from which I discovered this whole smart drug phenomenon. I didn’t end up taking any, but here’s what I’ve learned about the craze since then.

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discovery around 1980, scientists began to see that these drugs helped with memory, attention, reflexes and sleep. ‘So,’ they thought, ‘now we can help people who have poor memory, attention span, reflexes and can’t sleep’.

For a while now, nootropics or ‘stimulant medications’ have been the primary drug for people with neurological conditions that affect attention and sleep, like ADHD, narcolepsy and epilepsy.

apparently it makes your pee smell really bad. the key issue though is that we have no idea what the long term effects are yet.

First of all, no they’re not technically illegal. They’re legitimate medications that you can buy online, some of them without prescription. This is where you have to be careful. If you’re going to do this, have a chat to your GP

and if you really need them, you can obtain a legitimate prescription. It’s possible to buy some smart drugs online that you don’t need a prescription for, such as Modafinil for example – it’s pretty hard to get a hold of though.

It’s legal to purchase, whereas something like Ritalin or Adderall is illegal to purchase without a prescription. However, supply is still illegal, meaning that giving your friends some is not okay. In the eyes of the law, drug dealing is all pretty bad, even if it’s not crystal meth.

In most cases, these drugs work really well in serving their purpose.

They are increasingly popular because in most cases they improve concentration, memory, focus and, as Dr.Giurgiu intended, they aren’t toxic. I was able to chat to a few people who have experiences with Smart Drugs and the feedback was mostly positive.

John* told me about his friend who took the drugs in the lead up to a thermodynamics exam. The friend studied consistently for 36 hours without sleep and smashed the exam, apparently because the drugs allow you to survive on no sleep for a short time. That, and

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As the US is currently experiencing a smart drugs epidemic of kind, I also talked to couple of American students. They estimate that 1 in 10 US college students take smart drugs and, after talking to these students, I can see why. Georgia explained that most of the smart drug taking students she knows obtain them through prescriptions, and that they attained their prescriptions by talking to their GP and taking a couple of tests.

She told me they are very popular around exam time, and that after taking them, she was engrossed by her study material and found it easier to study for long periods of time. Fellow college student, Laura, takes the smallest possible

dose of Adderall, which keeps her intensely alert and awake. She makes sure to take regular blood tests to check that it’s not affecting her organs (good move, Laura).

And there are plenty more success stories like this. But I will tell you the risks, and no I’m not trying to scare you; these are legitimate aspects of the drugs. Katie told me that after taking the Smart Drugs she felt ‘super spaced out’, and that when she took it before writing an essay she ‘hit a wall’.

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the fact that the only thing he could think about for that time was thermodynamics. Similarly, Katie took the drugs because she struggled to concentrate on study.

She took one Modafinil (which she bought legally on the internet) and studied uninterrupted all day. Carl started and finished an assignment between 7am and 1am, working constantly without food or sleep.

He was 100 per cent focused on the assignment, and only once he finished did he start to feel drowsy.

all we can see in the short term is that our drug induced steel-like concentration results in ds and hds.

As you’d expect, it turns your brain into a machine that can absorb information super well, but can’t produce anything creative. Georgia was happy with the effects for a while, but after regular use, her personality left the building and she found she couldn’t relate to her friends anymore. She was moody,

depressed and angry. Carl has since stopped taking smart drugs because, he says, he is all too aware that our brains can’t over-perform for extended time periods and the drugs are limited in the potential it helps us reach. He also wasn’t in a very good mood the day after taking them, either.

These aren’t random one offs.

These Smart Drugs are literally mind-altering substances, and common side effects of the drugs include things like depression, nausea, mood swings and insomnia.

Oh, and apparently it makes your pee smell really bad. The key issue though is that we have no idea what the long-term effects are yet.

There is still so much undiscovered about the brain, and because these drugs are a relatively new phenomenon there are no long term studies to show us the real effects.

This can be really easy to ignore, because all we can see in the short term is that our drug induced steellike concentration results in Ds and HDs. But they’re artificial substances, and it directly affects the most important organ in our body. These drugs are medications designed for

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people with conditions that make the brain either too overactive, or too underactive. So if normal Joes like us with normal brains (albeit with a slight inability to concentrate) take these drugs, it’s going to mess with us. And it goes without saying that getting hooked on the stuff is bad news. If you develop reliance, rather than doing it as a couple of one offs, you’re looking at some serious withdrawals once you stop. Ever had caffeine withdrawals?

Same thing.

Before you think about something like this, or if you’re doing it now, maybe re-evaluate your reasoning.

Are you just being lazy? You may be taking them because of legitimate issues with concentration, but there are also so many other things you can do to improve your habits before you resort to pill popping. Trust me, I’m in your boat!

When SWOTVAC hits, suddenly I just have to watch the trailers for 50 movies coming out this year, or those endless videos of cats.

Your GP, the friendly folks at the University of Adelaide’s Student Care, or even Google can provide you with a multitude of strategies to hit the books better (and drug free).

Yes, the overwhelming consensus is that when taken in proper dosage and in conjunction with the advice of a qualified GP, smart drugs can be super helpful for students with issues concentrating.

But the known and unknown risks put your health in danger in a way that is kind of scary. Unless you’re a scientist or at the forefront of neurology, you can’t know how this is going to affect you in the long term. But I’ll leave you all to decide how you feel about it and which side of the debate you sit on.

*All names have been changed.

The author is by no means telling you to buy, take, or supply any medications or drugs that are not prescribed by a qualified GP, and will not be held legally or financially responsible for any negative effects if you take it.

Paige Kerin blew all her money on exchange in Leeds on travelling, vodka and clothes from H&M. She has no regrets.

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india’s hidden rainbow

words and image by Lauren Varo

The spicy scents of steaming curry, the diverse displays of cultural and religious traditions on nearly every street corner, and the constant chaotic hustle of billions of people going about their daily lives in one of the fastest growing economies characterises the world’s largest democracy: India. But beneath the country’s vibrant surface lies the dark reality of human rights violations against the nation’s LGBT citizens in the form of the 2013 re-criminalisation of homosexuality.

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was journeying through India’s 16.7 million-populated capital of Delhi, a mere month after the Supreme Court re-criminalisation, representing an Australian anti-poverty non-government organisation.

My interest as a young lesbian was captured by the range of in-country reactions to this divisive law, which continue to impact a large number of LGBT Indians today.

SECTION 377: A JUDICIAL TUG-OF-WAR

Although placed under the spotlight over the past year following the December 2013 Supreme Court ruling re-criminalising homosexuality, India’s relationship with homosexuality is both long and convoluted. A remnant of British colonial law dating back to the 1860s, homosexuality was originally criminalised under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which banned ‘carnal intercourse against the order of nature’ with a maximum sentence of life imprisonment. The law was held valid until July 2009 when a landmark case brought by an Indian HIV prevention NGO, the NAZ Foundation, saw the High Court overturn Section 377 as constitutionally invalid on the basis of violating the fundamental human right to equality before the law.

Providing LGBT Indians with an unprecedented freedom and hope for a future of non-discrimination, success was short-lived when in December 2013, a mere four years later, two Justices of the Supreme Court upheld Section 377 in an unexpected return to

criminalisation. United Nations human rights chief Navi Pillay called the decision a ‘significant step backwards for India’. In practical terms, convictions under Section 377 over the past century were historically rare; however, the symbolism of legally institutionalised discrimination against an already oppressed minority has dangerous repercussions for attitudes of homophobia and social exclusion within Indian society.

From British colonialists to an unelected judiciary, law-making in the criminalisation of homosexuality has been dominated by anyone but the people of India. Indeed, politically influential Sonia and Rahul Gandhi of the Indian National Congress party, in power until the recent 2014 Indian Election, expressed disappointment at the Court’s ruling. Whether the re-criminalisation reflects the genuine will of the Indian people, or whether it serves simply as a product of a failed system in the world’s most populated democracy thus remains unclear.

ATTITUDES TOWARDS HOMOSEXUALITY: A MIXED BAG

In contrast with the international condemnation of increasingly harsh anti-gay legislation recently enacted in Russia and Uganda, the in-country response of Indians to the recriminalisation of homosexuality remains much like the country’s religious, cultural and ethnic history - widely diverse.

With a Hindu population of around 80 per cent, as well as significant Muslim, Christian, Sikh and Buddhist followings, religion plays a significant role in shaping social attitudes in modern India. So it comes as no surprise that religious leaders from various faiths have been largely supportive of Section 377, uniting to express support for the re-criminalisation of homosexuality. The vice president of Vishva Hindu Parishad (a Hindu right-wing organisation) Om Prakash Singhal praised the decision, declaring homosexuality to be ‘against Indian culture’.

In direct contrast, the Indian media was far more willing to comment on the issue, with opinion pieces on the topic of homosexuality spread frequently amongst the cluster of daily weather reports and news headlines. On one of the first days of our travels, an open letter from award-winning gay Indian filmmaker Onir addressed to the Chief Justice of India was published in the Delhi Times tabloid, slamming the Court’s decision. He stated, ‘I am a proud law abiding citizen, but with the ruling of the Supreme Court by definition of my identity, I have become a criminal.’ Despite strong opposition, it was clear that freedom of the press was indeed alive and well.

Amongst our everyday travels, however, the topic was rarely discussed. When it was, the conversation was treated with trepidation and the special tone of hushed whispers reserved for taboo topics that ought not be mentioned in public. Our tour

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guide, for instance, was perfectly comfortable pointing out a local transgender area during a rickshaw journey, but was generally reluctant to discuss the bisexual subplot of Indian action film Dedh Ishqiya showing at the cinema. It is important to remember here that India remains a deeply conservative nation. Public displays of affection are rare between heterosexual couples, and conversations about sexuality in general are not condoned, let alone with a foreigner voyaging into culturally sensitive debates.

Nevertheless, I was starting to think I was the only gay in this 16.7 million-person village. There seemed to be very little awareness or advocacy for the issue, and the media seemed to be the sole voice of support amidst the resounding sound of silence. But surely, statistically, in the world’s second most populated nation, I wasn’t alone?

My suspicions proved true when we reached a WiFi friendly zone and a lesbian dating app I’d downloaded in Australia began going off left, right, and centre with regular messages from the very people targeted by Section 377. I never actively interacted with anyone via the app for (in hindsight irrational) fear of criminal repercussions.

Curious, I began scrolling through some profiles. Some picture-less and with very few details, others with determined expressions of finding true love, the overwhelming trend of the profiles was a large community of gay and lesbian

youths no different to your average Australian. Suddenly it all became clear: Section 377 wasn’t just some law of a far-away socially conservative developing country that hurt yet another oppressed sexual minority, these were real people and they were just like you and I.

YET ANOTHER KNOT IN A TANGLED WEB OF COMPLEXITY

The lack of progress in repealing Section 377 need also be considered within the context of the extreme adversities that have plagued India for years. This is a nation in which widespread poverty, despite a growing economy, leaves approximately 30 per cent of the population living below the extreme poverty line. This is a nation in which access to quality education is determined by one’s social status, resulting in one of the largest populations of adult illiteracy. This is a nation in which homosexuality is sanctioned by long-term imprisonment, while marital rape remains perfectly legal.

In a social context where half of the one-billion-strong population are disempowered owing simply to gender, it’s easy to understand why, from a development perspective, the minority rights of LGBT citizens are not considered a major priority. From the all-too-common cases of dowry deaths reported in the media, to the seemingly innocent stop signs modified to read ‘stop raping’, it was clear that the issues stem from much deeper than Section 377 alone.

OVER THE RAINBOW: STEPS TOWARDS REPEAL?

The road towards the repeal of Section 377 is, much like the law itself, far from simple. The Supreme Court judgement left repeal to the Indian Parliament in order to accurately represent the views of the Indian people.

Any chance of legislative repeal is significantly hindered, however, by the recent election of Prime Minister Narendra Modi and the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), the only political party to endorse the Supreme Court’s decision having labelled homosexuality as ‘unnatural’. With the BJP elected for a five-year term, the foreseeable fate of Section 377 lies within the fragile hands of a curative petition, the final avenue of judicial resort, lodged recently by the NAZ Foundation against the Supreme Court’s decision.

Painted on the walls of a local Delhi metro station is the graffiti silhouette of a woman, posed next to thick black text, question mark in bold, capturing the very essence of Indian attitudes towards homosexuality. Unless international and domestic pressure is placed upon the Indian Government to repeal Section 377, LGBT Indians will continue to ponder this question each day: am I safe here?

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featured artist

laura gentgall Laura Gentgall is a seventeen-year-old student who creates art and illustrations in any spare time she has. ‘As cliche as it is, art to me is all about expression, and sharing the things I love with others. The majority of my art revolves around women, and the way that I would love for women to be portrayed in the wider media and in art. Too often in art, women are used as objects of desire in the eyes of men, and are only presented for the male gaze. I aim to portray the women that I surround myself with everyday, and these women are much more than just pretty faces – they are fearless and adventurous and strong and fiery, and this is something I hope people can take from my art. I often use plants and mountains to correlate with this strength, as I feel that I have a strong connection with these aspects of nature and that they empower me.’ Laura is a regular illustrator for On Dit, and more of her art can be found in this issue on page 32.

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words by blair williams art by daisy freeburn

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ince the end of last year the State Government has been talking about changing the Provisional Licence rules. They talked about raising the age at which you can get your Learner’s Licence, and reducing the number of young passengers allowed to share a car with a young driver. For some time, this was only talk. I’ve been listening, and I’d been hoping that talk was all it would amount to.

I was wrong.

On the 28th of July, the South Australian State Government brought in new Provisional Licence laws that will drastically alter the way young people live. I want to start off by saying that this law does not affect me personally.

Although I am only 21 years old, I have my full license. But I am enraged for my peers who don’t, and for all those people whose lives are now changed for the worse thanks to the government’s poorly thought and poorly planned laws.

What are these new rules that I so acerbically speak of? Some of the new rules can be seen as beneficial to young drivers, such as forcing drivers on their Learner’s permit to take the Hazard Perception Test

(HPT), once a test for those on their P1’s to move onto their P2’s.

Another change that may be beneficial is removing the regression of licenses, meaning that if a P1 driver gets disqualified, they will not regress to their L’s. These two laws mean that those going onto their P’s will have an increased knowledge of on-road and off-road hazards, and if a P-plate driver does get disqualified, they won’t have to re-take and pay for additions driving tests.

What’s more, these laws are fair because they do not discriminate based on age.

The two laws that concern me are the ones that completely restrict and control what our youth are doing with their lives. The first one states that no one on their P1’s under the age of 25 is allowed to drive between midnight and five AM on any day of the week unless a ‘qualified supervising driver’ is seated next to them – like those times when you were on your L’s and had to have your parent, or much older friend, supervise you.

These supervisors are not allowed to have a Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) of over 0.05, or any drugs in their system. The government are making an exception if you have to

work, study, volunteer or if you are ‘driving between home and an activity to participate in sports, artistic, charitable, religious, or scientific activities provided by an organization, association or club’ (see: mylicense.sa.gov.au).

The second law states that no driver on their P1’s, again under the age of 25, is allowed to carry more than one passenger between the ages of 16 and 20 years old at any time of the day or night. However, again, they have made exemptions, such as if work involves driving more than one person of this age, or if they’re your immediate family members. For both laws, the driver is required to show evidence of their reason for driving in order to ‘satisfy the police’ that they meet the exemption criteria.

The State Government has aired advertisements on the T.V, radio and on billboards stating that they are changing these laws in order to ‘protect’ young drivers. One television advertisement stated: ‘It’s in our nature to protect children.

But you won’t always be there.’ The

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disturbing thing about these advertisements is that people aged 18 to 25 are not children. Those aged 16 to 18 technically are children, but once you are 18 you are legally considered to be an adult. There are plenty of people under the age of 25 that live out of home, have children, and work full-time, and they kind of need to drive between those hours and take more than one passenger aged between 16 and 20.

It’s absolutely ridiculous. We are not children, we are adults. Treat us like adults.

The government, however, state that they are changing these laws because there are ‘too many’ young deaths on South Australian roads. On their website they give a plethora of statistics. They state that annually, on average, had these rules been in place since 2008, they

would have averted four youth deaths a year on our roads. The ‘My License’ website states that the total number of road deaths has in fact decreased in the last decade, although apparently young drivers remain statistically over-represented. They provide statistics of how having more than one passenger aged 16 to 20 in a car with a driver aged 16 to 19 increases the chance of having a fatal car crash by 25 per cent. They also show that drivers aged 16 to 19 have a greater risk of being involved in a fatal accident (30 per cent greater) when driving between midnight and 5 am. The government does provide

evidence to try and support their reasoning with these new law changes, yet they conveniently avoid citing statistics about older drivers. I did a bit of research, and I happened to find the Pink Book of Road Crashes in South Australia: Statistical Summary of Road Crashes and Casualties in 2012. Page 55 of this Pink Book broke up the statistics of drivers who were responsible for fatal crashes, and sorted

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the new laws could leave young women without a safe way to travel.

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them into age and sex. Men aged 40 to 49 were the biggest culprits, with men aged 30 to 39 coming in second. Men aged 16 to 19 came third. Out of the seven deaths of young drivers, no female driver was involved. The government likes to forget such statistics, though, when creating these new laws.

I’m not too sure why the State Government are specifically targeting young people. Every year or two they bring out some new law that changes what young drivers can do, and makes it harder for them to get their license. But what is most frustrating about these changes is that they could have a drastic impact on young women in particular.

A Safe Escape

The new laws could leave young women without a safe way to travel.

A young woman out past the new curfew may either have to get a lift, alone, with an older driver that she does not feel safe with in order to get home, or stay in a place that she doesn’t feel comfortable or safe in.

This law, I predict, will have a devastating effect on young women.

As it is, according to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, nearly one in five women aged 18 and over

have experienced sexual assault (and 87.7 per cent of perpetrators are known to the women) and, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) website, only three per cent of rapists ever see a day in jail. These are the facts. Looking at these numbers coupled with previous rape cases, such as the Steubenville Ohio case, young women are already in a vulnerable position and are repeatedly blamed for their actions if they are raped. These changes will only exacerbate such problems. The issue already exists, though it seems like the government tries to forget about it.

Seven young drivers are killed on the road, on average, every year (according to the Pink Book), whilst one in five women experience sexual assault, as previously mentioned, however the government is not creating new laws to deal with this issue. They are instead diverting focus towards something that is easily changed: a law that doesn’t ruffle too many feathers because, hey, we’re only young and, with some of us not even of voting age, powerless.

There must be ways to make the roads safer without restricting

a young woman’s freedom of movement (a human right according to the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights).

I would love to ask the government to find a way to completely override and change the culture that allows sexual assault to happen in such high numbers, but I know that this is an entirely naïve thing to ask. However, I am asking that they think through laws that affect young people more thoroughly.

Ask women for their opinions. Or employ me to analyse it. I need another job. But seriously, laws like this need to be thought through.

They need to be subjected to a gender analysis (as well as a rural and Indigenous analysis, because these changes affect different groups in different ways).

Or at least consult the Minister for Women. I’m sure she’s had plenty of experiences that make her well-qualified and informed to make recommendations about women’s- … oh wait. It’s Tony Abbott. My mistake.

Blair is an intersectional feminist whose day time job is writing an Honours thesis on Gillard and night time job is fighting rape culture and its buddy the patriarchy

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opinion

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It’s time to talk about feminism… words by rachel caines

I

n today’sAustralia there are two types of feminists.

The first type is the type that characterises most of the population. The type who believe in gender equality. Who believe women deserve the same rights as men. The type who are appalled by cultures that still oppress women and refuse to allow them to have a say in their own lives. The type who genuinely want global gender equality. Then there’s the second type. The more vocal type. The type who are less about equality and more about female superiority. The type who get upset over things like the word slut and advertisements that portray women in ‘stereotypical gender roles’. The type who says things like ‘the patriarchal oppression of women’ and ‘cultural misogyny’. The type who give the rest of us a bad name.

There’s a lot of conflict today between these two types of feminism, which often sees the first type rejecting the term ‘feminist’ out of fear of being associated with the more radical second type. It’s almost become a dirty word, a second ‘f word’. Which is ridiculous.

I was originally going to title this article ‘I don’t need feminism because...’, but my boyfriend pointed out to me that I am feminist. A real feminist. A first type feminist. What I don’t need is hyper feminism, the second type of feminism. The type of ‘feminism’ that is filled with thinly veiled contradictions and sexism, and.labels anyone who questions this a misogynist. The type of feminism that publishes comics mocking male opinions and concerns, though if the gender of each party were to be reversed, the comics would be widely condemned as sexist and inappropriate. Well guess what? Even though they’re making fun of men, they’re still sexist. They’re still inappropriate. This type of feminism propagates vastly untrue stereotypes about the untrustworthy, dangerous nature of men, which again, if the gender was reversed, would be widely condemned as sexist and inappropriate. Well, guess what? Still sexist and inappropriate.

The number of times I’ve been called misogynist for disagreeing with one of these hyper feminists is ridiculous.

Ridiculous because whilst I’m condemning issues such as honour killings, lack of education, and dictation on what women can do with their bodies regarding sex and pregnancy, they’re attacking the use of the word ‘pretty’, the decisions women make about the hair on their bodies, and men objecting to being depicted as sexual deviants.

My major issue with this second type of ‘feminism’ however isn’t that they’re often blatantly sexist, and it isn’t that they believe they have the right to judge my worth as a woman and a feminist. It’s that their behaviour is harming the struggle for gender equality.

Women’s rights and gender equality are where they are today because of the work of generations of type one feminists. They fought to change not only the laws but the attitudes held by men and women. And although we still have steps to take to achieve full gender equality internationally, it’s important not to forget their successes. However, the second type of ‘feminism’ that uses sexism and alienation to reinforce its views is undoing this work. In the same way that religious fundamentalists corrupt understandings of what it means to be religious, radical feminists are creating an ‘us and them’ mentality that is isolating people from feminism by corrupting people’s understandings of what it means to be feminist. And this is dangerous for gender equality.

Because when it comes down to it, women and men gaining an education, having careers, having families, not letting their gender dictate their life, and showing their children that gender equality is the norm is what’s going to stamp out sexism, not complaining about being oppressed, sexualised victims of a global conspiracy that really only exists in the minds of a vocal, ignorant minority.

When Rachel isn’t getting into accidental arguments with hyper feminists she’s, day dreaming about exchange, becoming an author, and getting a beagle named Kissinger.

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breast lump words by Eleanor Ludington art by Laura Gentgall

W

hen I first noticed the lump I was sixteen or seventeen. It was so long ago I have trouble remembering. I noticed it in the shower one day. A hard mass with vague borders lying just under the skin; just under the nipple, actually. I felt my other breast; it didn’t feel the same when I touched superficially, but if I pressed a little deeper there was some similar lumpy tissue. Even before studying medicine I knew it was different, but because I was so self-conscious I ignored it. I thought my breasts were ugly and asymmetrical, and I thought my teenage body had let me down. For six or so years I made the decision to risk missing an early diagnosis of malignancy (cancer) because I was too embarrassed to see my GP about it. Suffice to say I was an idiot.

pretended it wasn’t there. When boyfriends felt it, dread and fear visible all over their face, I told them ‘Relax! It’s nothing; don’t worry, it’s normal for young women to have lumpy breast tissue’. They would reluctantly let out a sigh of relief and move on, and just like that I was able to forget once more that there was a problem.

Embarrassment wasn’t the only problem; my breast lump was plain tricky. Some days I could feel it like a rock-hard mass under the skin, and other days I couldn’t isolate it at all. It was like a band rather than a ball and was in no way visible or disfiguring.

Because it was so easy to ignore and avoid I routinely

But this year that all changed when, during a tutorial, we heard stories from a breast surgeon about women, in particular young women, ignoring or not noticing breast lumps. ‘It’s much harder to feel and identify a breast lump in a young woman,’ the surgeon said, ‘the tissue is so lumpy compared with

As time went on I learnt about breasts, I did breast examinations and met women with cancer. These experiences made me feel more and more guilty about ignoring my lump. The physical exams taught me that everyone’s breasts looked different, and that many were asymmetrical, much like my own. I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but still I was, and still I avoided my GP like the plague.

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an older woman that the tumour can almost hide in it’. This is true not only for palpation, but also for imaging. Mammograms are not helpful for most young women (and I later found out that I was no exception to this rule).

A few days after the breast tutorial, I saw my doctor and told her about the lump. ‘We can just check it out next time,’ I said, hoping she might let me off the hook but knowing full well she wouldn’t. The dreaded breast examination took place and was totally pain free physically and mentally. My body self-esteem remained completely intact. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for my physical health. When she put her fingers against the lump, she immediately said, with a concerned look on her face, ‘Oh, that definitely needs to be imaged.’ What? Not just lumpy tissue? Not just an immediately identifiable fibroadenoma (a common cause of benign breast lumps in young women)? She sent me off with words of encouragement and forms to have an ultrasound, and a mammogram if the radiologist wanted one. As I left my GP’s office, I found myself at the beginning of a lengthy process of investigations and consultations.

The ultrasound showed an abnormal mass. When I asked the sonographer how big it was she said, ‘the borders are quite diffuse; I can’t really tell where it ends or how big it is.’ As someone who studies medicine, that sentence is terrifying. Benign lesions are usually well-demarcated and neat-looking. Cancer is much more likely to be poorly demarcated with rough borders. The cancer alarm bell started ringing in my head and continued to sound even louder after the radiologist walked in, took a quick look, and immediately ordered that the mammography machine be turned on, even though it was a weekend and they ‘never do mammograms on weekends’. An ultrasound, a mammogram that showed nothing, and $315 later and I was finally out of there.

Two days later my GP called me saying that she wanted to see me that afternoon. Uh-oh. When I arrived she told me not to freak out and then proceeded to tell me that I probably had a type of tumour called a ‘Phyllodes tumour’ seen in only one to two women per million, most commonly in 40-something year olds.

She sent a referral to a senior breast surgeon and told me that I’d need to see him within two weeks.

I left feeling shell-shocked. Two in a million. My dad told me that with odds like that I should buy

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a lottery ticket. I went home and did what all good citizens do – I googled it. And just like most Google-ing patients, instead of finding reassurance from the internet, I found stats like ‘25 per cent of Phyllodes tumours are malignant’ and ‘not enough people have Phyllodes tumours to carry out any reasonable studies… so no one knows how best to treat it’. That’s it. I was a goner.

In the following two weeks I managed to convince myself I had cancer, would be quitting med school for the year, and would probably end up with a mastectomy and reconstruction before the year was out.

In my head, that was my best-case scenario; if the cancer had spread there would be nothing anyone could do to save me. I gently warmed my boyfriend to this idea, and was preparing him for my imminent decline, booblessness, and possible death. He responded with Rich Boy’s song, ‘Throw some Ds [on that bitch]’ and I laughed and cried and felt instantly reassured that everything would be okay, even if I did need that mastectomy and reconstruction. I also told myself that if I survived this experience I would be a better and more empathetic person and doctor.

Finally the morning came to confront the breast surgeon and find out whether I had cancer or not. I was excited and terrified. A very charming and tall middle-aged surgeon with an air of brilliance about him called me into his room. I knew straight away that regardless of the outcome, I was in the best possible hands. Once more I went through the breast examination process, now feeling totally unfazed about the exposure. ‘Hmm,’ said the surgeon with a furrow in his brow. He had no idea what it was, but reassured me that it was definitely not a Phyllodes tumour. He sent me off for another ultrasound by a specialist radiologist at the Flinders breast clinic, as well as a core biopsy. All I could think was, ‘Oh god, a core biopsy, I hear the needles are huge for those’.

They are. A 14 gauge (i.e. BIG) needle is used.

They numb the breast with local anaesthetic, make a small slit with a scalpel, and then use an ultrasound-guided gun to shoot a needle right through the lump in order to get a good sample for the pathologists to assess with their pretty stains and microscopes. It was all over fairly quickly and I promptly returned to the surgeon for a final opinion. He looked at the new ultrasound images and said that neither he nor the radiologist could tell what it was, but that they were both certain

it was benign. His best guess was that it was an unusual mass of disorganised, but normal, cells called a hamartoma.

I left his clinic beaming; my mum kissed me and cried from relief. She confided in me afterwards that she thought her precious and hard-to-have IVF baby was going to be snatched away after only 22 years (thanks for the vote of confidence, Mum!). I was overjoyed and experiencing the same feeling of exhaustion we all get after exams, but I still wasn’t totally satisfied. I needed to know what the lump was. I had to have the diagnosis.

At last, after waiting patiently a few days for the results of the biopsy to be returned, I called the clinic and was told I had a benign tumour called a ‘tubular adenoma’. I don’t think it’s quite as rare as a Phyllodes tumour, but from what I’ve read it’s still very uncommon, making up less than 1% of all benign breast lumps. There certainly aren’t many cases in the literature.

I have to see the surgeon again in two months’ time.

I’m not sure if he thinks it’s worth removing, but at least I know I won’t be quitting med school to have that mastectomy any time soon (sorry Boyfriend, no Ds this time!).

I had a lucky result with my lump. In someone of the same age with a stronger family history of breast cancer it could just as easily have been malignant.

I’ve been through a lot during the last month or so.

There have been many tears, many sleepless nights, and many evenings looking up breast disease instead of heart disease or other homework topics. One of the hardest things I had to deal with throughout the whole ordeal was the knowledge that if it was metastatic cancer, that is, if it had spread to other parts of my body thus making it incurable, it would be my fault because I ignored it for six years. It’s been a big learning curve for me, and, as I told myself at the beginning, if I survive it I will be a better person and doctor. I think that’s actually true, and I hope that this article, and my future interactions with peers and patients will help motivate others to approach their health in a better and more proactive way than I did.

Eleanor could sit around discussing women’s health all day. She loves obstetrics and hopes to deliver lots of healthy babies in future.

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the women who fell the through cracks of the words by lauren fuge Art by jaqueline mcAllister

universe

I

n the early 1880s, astronomer Edward Charles Pickering had a problem: he had data coming out of his ears. Ever since being instated as director of the Harvard College Observatory in 1877, he’d been lobbying for improved astrophotography facilities.

Finally, his observatory had the capabilities to image the stars for analysis at a later date, instead of the tedium of real-time naked-eye observations…and suddenly photos of star fields were being taken at a rate too rapid for Pickering’s staff to keep up with.

What’s worse, his assistant was useless. So Pickering did what any sensible man would do—he fired his assistant and hired his maid, Williamina Fleming, as a replacement.

Fleming had a background in school teaching, not in astronomy, but she proved so adept at computing and cataloguing that Pickering soon hired a whole host of women as assistants and put Fleming in charge of them. In total, over 80 women worked for him during his tenure at the Harvard College Observatory. Pickering’s goal was to photograph and

catalogue the entire sky, and these women—some of whom were educated astronomers—threw themselves into the work.

The women came to be known as Pickering’s Harem, or, as I prefer, the Harvard Computers, because they were essentially employed as human computers. They reduced the photographs of star fields to render them as clear as possible, performed complex calculations to determine the positions of the stars in the sky, analysed the light from each star to determine what elements they were composed of, and classified them according to catalogues.

It was incredibly important work in the history of astronomy. These women took the first steps towards mapping the universe, providing the foundations for larger astronomical theory to be developed over the next century. They discovered and deciphered new suns, and they contributed enormously to the first Henry Draper Catalogue, a catalogue of more than 10,000 stars classified according to spectrum, published by Pickering in 1890.

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Although the implications of their data were huge, the work of the Harvard Computers was also dry, tedious, and meticulous. They put in six-day weeks and worked for between 25 and 50 cents per hour, the wage of a factory worker. Some of these women were trained astronomers, and yet their tasks working for Pickering were essentially secretarial. At the time, the cold, damp conditions of an observatory dome were deemed unsuitable for women, but by only allowing his female assistants to work with photographs, Pickering could place them in more “appropriate” office settings. He allowed some to make direct observations, but these were exceptions; mostly, his assistants were barred from producing real, theoretical work. There was little chance to progress to more important and demanding positions—after 20 years working at the observatory, Fleming was finally given the title of Curator of Astronomical Photos, i.e. “official” supervisor.

The Harvard Computers are an example of the ‘harem effect’: a phenomenon where a male scientist in a position of power, such as the director of a well-known observatory, hires a predominantly female staff, who are then placed in a subordinate position. The harem effect has pervaded the history of science for a couple of reasons. The lower rate of pay for women allowed for more employees to be hired with the same budget, which was especially important for Pickering, who needed to process large amounts of data efficiently.

Also, women were seen as less threatening than men in the same position—competent, but not perceived as competition for the male in power.

But the women who worked for Pickering deserve more than to be lumped together and dismissed as a sad sociological effect, as a product of the times. The Harvard Computers paved the way not only for modern astronomy but also for women in science, and they deserve to be remembered.

Some of the Harvard Computers produced their own notable research and obtained a level of respect among female scientists of the era. Take Antonia Maury, for example—a graduate from Vassar College, Pickering hired her to help reclassify the stars in his original Henry Draper Catalogue. Along with Pickering and Fleming, Maury worked on a system to classify stars based on their temperature. She published her

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system in 1897 to be largely ignored, but later Anne Jump Cannon, a Wellesley College graduate, came to the Harvard Observatory and reworked the system again. Her redesign was developed into the Harvard Classification System, which has been adopted by the International Astronomical Union as the official worldwide system of star classification.

Anne Jump Cannon is perhaps the most famous of the Harvard Computers, though you’ve likely never heard of her. She specialised in analysing absorption spectra and was so prolific, she could classify over 50,000 stars per year.

‘They aren’t just streaks to me,’ Cannon said once. ‘Each new spectrum is the gateway to a wonderful new world.

It is almost as if the distant stars had really acquired speech and were able to tell of their constitution and physical condition.’

She was awarded six honorary doctorate degrees for her influential work, including the first degree from Oxford ever presented to a woman. Cannon also won the Ellen Richards Prize, which was awarded by the Association to Aid Scientific Research by Women, but shortly after it was given to her in the 1930s, the award was disbanded—the organisers legitimately thought that the struggle of women in science had ended, and everything was now fine.

Cannon, thankfully, knew what was really up. She used her prize money to establish a new award for women in science, which was awarded to luminaries such as Payne-Gaposchkin and Maury, and is still helping female astronomers today.

Dozens of other Harvard Computers were notable for work they did beyond Pickering’s research.

Margaret Harwood was later appointed the director of the Maria Mitchell Observatory, becoming the first female director of an independent observatory.

Johanna Mackie discovered the first nova (a bright

explosion caused by the re-ignition of a dormant star) in the constellation of Lyra, and was awarded the gold medal from the American Association of Variable Star Observers (AAVSO). Ida Woods was also honoured by AAVSO for discovering more than seven novae within the Milky Way galaxy. Henrietta Swan Leavitt discovered 2,400 variable stars throughout her career. These stars regularly brighten and then grow dim again, and Leavitt developed the period-luminosity law still in use today, which gives a relationship between the brightness of a variable star and the length of time taken to go through one cycle and return to its original level of light. Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin was a variable star expert who became the first person to obtain a research PhD at the Harvard Observatory, and later became the first female tenured professor at Harvard.

How many of their names do you know? If these women have been forgotten, then how many more thousands of women have helped discover fundamental aspects of our universe and then were swept under the rug, their names lost to future generations? How many landmark scientific projects involved women who were forgotten when it came to handing out Nobel prizes, writing books, and typing up Wikipedia pages?

Craters on the Moon and Mars are named after Pickering, but his female assistants fell through the cracks into obscurity. Remember them. They mapped the stars—their names should still shine today.

Lauren is the kind of person who gets emotional about female scientists.

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know 37 About the Illuminati PAGE

(but were too afraid to ask) words by emma doherty Art by carly harvy

T

here comes a point in one’s life where it becomes necessary to ask the big questions.

These might be: ‘Who am I?’ ’What must I do in order to become spiritually enlightened as a person?’ and, perhaps the most necessary of all, ‘Is the world actually secretly under a totalitarian regime run by lizard people from the fourth dimension?’ If you, like many of us, have ever pondered the last question extensively, then sit yourself into a nice comfy seat and get your fanciest tinfoil hat at the ready because we are about to delve deep into the wonderfully strange world of ∆∆∆the Illuminati∆∆∆.

The real Illuminati

Sure, if you want to get really boring and factual about it, the real Illuminati involves zero kinky lizard people, much to my dismay. ‘Illuminati’ comes from the Latin term for ‘enlightened’. The original organisation with this name, the Bavarian Illuminati, was a socially progressive secret society that existed in 18th Century Bavaria and advocated equality for women, separation of the church and state, and moderate secularism. This made them very unpopular with the powers that were. The Catholic Church and the Bavarian state worked harmoniously together in order to formally ban the society, and utilise their

feature substantial powers to slander and misrepresent it in the public eye.

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Soon, moral panics in the form of literature, such as John Robison’s Proofs of a Conspiracy, began spreading the idea that Bavarian Illuminati were responsible for all manner of ills, like singlehandedly causing the French Revolution. Let’s get rational everyone. It is highly improbable that a small group of German intellectuals were sitting around drinking beers in lederhosen/yodelling/other stereotypes, and then one of them was all ‘Ja you know, this talk about women’s right to education is like getting real boring. Jürgen, Hans, Detlev, Hans und Johannes? You know what we should do instead? Topple an entire nation’s governmental system, that’s what! Prost!’ But we all know this is not what Bavarian Illuminati were really like. I have probably grossly underrepresented the amount of men named Hans that were present.

The Illuminati Today

‘Illuminati’ no longer refers to the socialist philosophers of the 1700s. Now there exists an entire subculture of people eager to connect seemingly random political, global and pop cultural events with a secret society called the Illuminati. The current consensus among theorists is that the Illuminati is a shadowy group that pulls strings to gain cultural and political control of the planet. They believe the Illuminati is doing this to achieve a ‘New World Order’. Unfortunately this has nothing to do with 80s dance music for sad people.

Because some of the people posting about Illuminati on Youtube and other sites seem, frankly, mad, it is often hard to follow the kilometre-length leaps that they make from one fact to another. For example, some theorists believe that New World Order means everyone will become a homosexual- whether they like this or not. However, I find this hard to follow. The Illuminati manipulates election results, yes? So the Illuminati is hard at work putting people like Vladimir Putin, and even our dear old Tone into power to create a world where homosexuality is so completely tolerated that it is illegal to be anything else? Well, Illuminati, you’re rubbish at your job.

Christianity and Me (and the Illuminati)

Perhaps unsurprisingly given the opponents of the original Bavarian Illuminati, many of the people posting Youtube content about the theory tend to be deeply religious Christian conservatives. When seen from their perspective it becomes apparent why the Illuminati would exist in the first place. It is their belief that the Illuminati are agents of the devil, and that they do what

feature they do in order to achieve a Satanic World (second in fun only to Dream World!). Christian Illuminatiists therefore look for any symbols that might indicate a person’s Satanism in order to ascertain whether they are a member of the Illuminati.

Satanic symbols include: triangles, pentagons, 666, goat heads, making fancy symbols with your hands and phallic symbols. Christian theorists believe that people such as Beyoncé, Jay Z, Kanye West and Rihanna (Princess of the Illuminati), use these symbols repeatedly in order to brainwash us into Satanism.

But Emma, what about the Lizard People?!

I hinted at lizard people before so you shall have your lizard people. Now this is where Illuminati theory gets truly bizarre. New Age writer David Icke popularised the belief that members of the Illuminati are actually mixed-species descendants of a tribe of reptilian aliens called the ‘anunnaki’, who kept humans in captivity and then forced them to breed with them. Most of us today are pure, 100 per cent human, but Icke and his disciples believe that many of the prominent figures in modern society are in fact mixed-species, and are able to shift between lizard and human form. They believe that these reptilian creatures feed on negative human emotions such as fear and greed, and as such need wars and political corruption for the survival of their species.

Icke has come under fire for labelling influential Jewish families in the business world, such as the Rockerfellers and the Rothschilds, as reptilians.

Critics of his work believe that Icke may simply be using Illuminati theory to plaster over his underlying anti-Semitism.

So there you have it, a society which was originally started to create greater enlightenment ended up becoming the collective obsession of a group of people who think the Queen is a lizard. But such is life. Society will continue to churn and churn onwards, and there will always be smatterings of disenfranchised people here and there who believe that the reason their life isn’t that great is because there is a global conspiracy to make it that way.

Now I’m going to leave you; have to go make some adjustments to my tinfoil beret so I know for sure that the government isn’t reading my thoughts.

Emma is a professional grumpy person and green tea enthusiast.

You can read her sporadically-posted reviews of cult movies at http://wallflowerfilmreviews.tumblr.com/, if you really want.

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creative

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The briscola cards words by Claudio-Rose Ienco The ace of clubs was hardly set Before instant retort Of words from the lady of swords; Said she, ‘Don’t waste a thought.’

‘You may be highest in your suit’, She bothered to explain, ‘But I was the first to be drawn; You challenge me in vain.’

‘Especially’ continued she, ‘Since you do not relate, To this one at the south-­east end That could have harmed my fate.’

‘He is no king of ours,’ she said, ‘Holding coin above crown, But faces up and gives command To all those who face down’.

image: from flickr.com/arrrrt

‘Although, when he has had his turn, He leaves with a salute And next round he could be lost to The lowest of a suit.’

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graduation anxiety nicola woolford will get a job, probably

If you are in your final year of undergraduate study then you may be experiencing any combination of the following symptoms: stress and nausea, late night Seek browsing, obsessive grammar correction of cover letters, compulsive re-calculation of your GPA, or regret over the visible tattoo you acquired during firstyear. You are not alone.

I feel like a baby bird whose mother has not actually taught her how to fly, but rather enrolled her in a twelve week comprehensive course in which the theory of flight was covered. In theory I have all the necessary skills to embark on my chosen career path. On paper I’m an ideal applicant. It’s the daunting reality of entering the professional sphere that has me worried.

I will soon leave the cloistered world of higher education, where all mistakes can be corrected in Summer School. Though my experience of this new world is limited to the colonies of Retail and Sales, I have my sights set on a far-away country across the ocean known as Post-Graduate Study.

I admit that as a first year I was relatively unconcerned about my future, and blindly trusted that my Bachelors degree would find me employment somewhere, someday.

Though for the past two years of undergraduate study I steadily worked towards an attainable career goal: to become a librarian. Just call me Giles. I won’t be offended if this profession holds no appeal for you, feel free to substitute your vocation of choice. I kept my grades high to ensure acceptance into the necessary post-graduate program, volunteered during my free time to demonstrate community involvement, and fostered friendships in the industry. Libraries have been the white light at the end of my essay-littered tunnel. Ideally I need only submit one application this year. Simple.

Complicated. Graduation is the culmination of nearly two decades worth of education. In just three short months, for the first time since Reception, the majority of my weekdays need no longer be dedicated to academic learning. I am beginning to feel the pressure.

My research heavy Bachelors and history of volunteer work has left me moderately qualified for several professions, besides librarian.

Cue the Careers Expo, inspirational speakers, unsolicited

life advice from family members, and well-meaning friends who loudly praise their graduate positions. The programs offered by Careers Hub allay some of my anxieties, but also raise new ones. My senses are overwhelmed by the brightly coloured opportunities available to me, and I begin to lose sight of my humble career dream. The temptation of employment straight out of university, of repaying Abbott and Pyne before they have a chance to index my HELP debt, is overpowering. As is the freedom that a nine-to-five work schedule could offer, weeknights spent on my own pursuits rather than an endless supply of menial assignments.

And so I apply for everything while hoping to find my true calling in the position that accepts me.

Occupation roulette, anyone?

I think I can do better. We all can. Do not let yourself be blindsided at this late hour, whether you crave the fiscal freedom of employment or the intellectual challenge of post-graduate study. Most of us have been working towards this goal since first-year, some since high school. We owe it to ourselves to stay true.

There’s no harm in examining every option, but never lose sight of those dreams. In my experience dreams can be powerful motivators. My career has never been more achievable than it is now, I just need a little fortitude to pursue it. I reach an internal compromise: I’ll apply for my librarian post-graduate course along with a few select job opportunities.

Only the ones to which I’m genuinely attracted. And I’ll take comfort in that safety-net.

We are educated and ready to enter the real world.

We are passionate and unique. We are Adelaide survivors. Now it’s time to hold our collective breath as we submit those applications.

Nicola Woolford (née Dowland) never met a chocolate she didn’t like.

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all the single ladies lauren reid is a child of destiny art by maddi foster

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All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me! Right, now that I’ve got your attention with some classic Destiny’s Child lyrics, let’s continue with that theme. I’m going to keep it real with you. Let’s talk about what it’s really like to be an independent woman out there. Let’s talk about how lame it is. No, not the actual single lady-ness. No, no, no, my dears. The big deal made about it, I mean.

Question, tell me how you feel about this: when did it become not okay for a lady to enjoy her own time and space and company and doing her own little thing?

Okay so it’s probably been that way for ages, patriarchy, etcetera, etcetera. But are we seriously still having to answer the, ‘So you’re not seeing anyone at the moment?’/’Wouldn’t you like to find yourself someone nice?’ questions posed by every man and woman and their couple-share dogs? Because, damn, those questions are a drag.

Do we really have to watch The Notebook and sob, wishing our lives away for a fairy tale romance? Uh, no. A relationship is most definitely not a measure of your worth. So please dry your eyes, young girl. Don’t cry; you’re beautiful. You’re not the one to blame.

I totally get that eventually settling down with a partner is something a lot of us want, but if it’s not happenin’ for you right now, don’t sweat it. Because

we’ve come too far for you to feel alone.

Singles are emerging as a powerful force, with all manner of economic and social planning decisions being made to cater for our growing numbers. There have been a stack of studies suggesting that we singletons volunteer more, have more friends, go out more in our neighbourhoods and even have potential for further career progression. You understand the facts that I’m try’n’a give to you?

If you’re independent, I congratulate you. If you ain’t in love, I congratulate you. You get to really get to know yourself, spend all that solo time doing stuff that makes your heart sing and your soul dance. Trust me, ain’t no feeling like being free, when your mind’s made up and your heart’s in the right place. So make the most of it!

My only advice? After all of the darkness and sadness soon comes happiness. If you surround yourself with positive things you’ll gain prosperity. All the ladies who truly feel me, throw your hands up at me!

P.S. One final message from myself and Destiny’s Child: I’m your girl, you’re my girl, we’re your girls, don’t you know that we love you?

Lauren is an Arts student (cue scoffs) and aspiring writer/baking extraordinaire/multilingual traveller/wearer of fancy pants. She blogs about a lot of these things at bigshoestofill.wordpress.com

columns

mastering hilarity miriam crosby likes funny women

When I was younger, I Googled how to be funny. I was rewarded with a stream of pages telling me to ‘be myself ’. The all knowing websites assured me not to ‘force humour’, because it just ‘flows out of you as a person’. Like spaghetti fails as string, my comedic routine, and Google, was useless. All I wanted in life was few giggles, cackles and a smattering of accidental snorting. Was that too much to ask? …Yep. I shouldn’t feel too bad though. The World told me later that females in general just aren’t that great at funny.

By The World, I mean a great number of astute, well meaning individuals, usually women.

I’ve been warned off buying tickets to see female comedians because they’re ‘never as funny’. I’ve been informed by an academically rigorous teen magazine that guys only stipulated the need for a ‘sense of humour’ in a girlfriend. I’ve also been flattered by the assurance that there’s no need to compensate for anything just yet, so I needn’t be funny.

After all this built up oppression, I raged against the system, tearing down inequality with my entertaining diatribes about sexism. I’m ashamed to say, at one point, I agreed.

It was a low point, just after a show at The Cranker, where the master of ceremonies had thought it appropriate to launch into a song she was writing for her daughter’s 21st titled, ‘take it in the poo hole’. At the time, if I had been given the option between having my ears ripped off or inducing amnesia, I would have taken both. She wasn’t alone. The comediennes of the world did seem to be just a weetle bit racist, rude, crude and filthy. None of which is befitting of a lady, or a human for that matter. I don’t care if Freud thinks that jokes are just an attempt to circumvent social taboos, drooping body parts, your sex life and bullying just aren’t my cup of tea.

Resigning myself to the failure of feminism in the land of funny, I attended a competition called Raw Comedy.

Armed with wit, sarcasm, fart jokes and satire, the battle ensued. Some comedians were cringe worthy, others were side-splittingly funny, but there could only be one winner. At the end of the evening when the winner finally emerged victorious, she curtsied happily,

resplendent in a spotty bow tie. The only girl out of twelve contestants. Don’t give me any of that ‘she only won because she was a girl; business though -she went on to win the national finals. Demi Lardner, this tiny 19-year old Adelaide girl, had single handedly restored my faith in funny females with her use of police station anecdotes, impressions and flying broccoli. And to think that all she set out to achieve that night was to make ‘everyone’s brains melt from joy’.

Lardner inspired my search for hilarious and feminist comediennes, and search I did. Although I unfortunately stumbled across many a lady who would be better suited to the world of mime and slapstick (and a whole lot of men for that matter who I personally would like to see share the same fate). For a while there, my search for awe inspiring comediennes seemed doomed. But, like any good story, there was a light at the end of ,my tunnel. More brain melting people.

There is Francesca Martinez, who questions why there isn’t pre-natal testing for mean people and likes to refer to her cerebral palsy as ‘wobbliness’. There is Bec Hill, whose drawing-book animation of dinosaurs (that I watched in London on repeat) had me giggling continuously. There is Lucille Ball, the star of I Love Lucy, who wouldn’t move onto her next line until the last one was as funny as it could be. The list goes on and on. Dawn French. Carol Burnett. Mindy Kaling. Sarah Millican.

Fiona O’Loghlin. Hannah Gadsby. Tig Notaro. Amy Schumer. Nina Conti. Etc. etc. Long story short, The World was wrong.

These ladies are quirky and weird, persistent and brave, and make the world just a little bit happier by being themselves.

Okay, okay. I was wrong. Google was right.

Miriam is a firm believer that a cup of tea and an Arts degree can get you far in life. That and a good helping of adventure, mixed with a bit of naïvete.

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reviews

gig

music

mikhael paskalev

monsters thelma plum (footstomp) Reviewed by jenny nguyen

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uni bar Reviewed by charlie campbell Norwegian/Bulgarian singer-songwriter Mikhael Paskalev and his band played thier Adelaide Splendour Sideshow to an adoring crowd at UniBar on Thursday July 24th.

Paskalev, whose hit ‘I Spy’ is making waves on the charts at the moment, played a set consisting of songs from his debut album What’s Life Without Losers.

The gig was everything a fan wanted, whilst also thoroughly enjoyable to those who were new to his music (or so my friend says). My only disappointment was that, unlike the music video, he didn’t dance in his undies to ‘I Spy’.

Paskalev and his crew were more than nice, continually going out of their way to help out media, bar staff and fans. After the show, Paskalev spent an close to an hour walking around the bar talking to his fans, signing autographs, taking photos and engaging in more than a few weird conversations (one guy asked Paskalev for his home address to to send him a rare harmonica holder, and his Adelaidean doppleganger really wanted his hat).

Coming to the end of his set, Paskalev admitted he wished he had more songs to play. So do I. Photo by Sharmonie

Heartbreak doesn’t have to sound drab.

Where Thelma Plum is concerned, it’s pretty damn exciting. Catchy choruses, delicious hooks and profanity are all in abundance on Thelma Plum’s sophomore EP, Monsters. Produced by Melbourne artist M-Phazes, Plum adopts a much darker sound on the EP, blending her usual folk with heavy beats and electronic flourishes that create an interesting and unexpected experience for the listener. This is exemplified by the title track’s blending of a hefty bass drum beat with Plum’s delicate vocals. It’s an incongruous mix that works because of the intricacy and skill with which the EP has been put together. Minimal instrumentation enhances Plum’s voice as opposed to crushing and overshadowing it – her vocals shine as opposed to being swallowed up.

The generic fusion is most prominent, and successful, on the song ‘How Much Does Your Love Cost?’ which combines sassy guitar riffs and a pulsing drum beat with Plum’s cooing vocals to create a feeling as turbulent and dramatic as any teen romance. The EP is exciting not only because it’s a strong and impressive EP, but because it’s a strong and impressive EP that heralds a bright future for an exciting, young artist. It’s spellbinding and beautiful, and well worth many a listen.

Here’s to breaking hearts.

reviews

coffee

film

45 PAGE

cafÉ 1849 harris scarfe, rundle mall Reviewed by sharmonie

Heart of a Lion (Leijonasydän)

If you’re in need of a good coffee, and are prepared to cross the road but have less money in your bank account than your 6-month-old brother, you’re in luck. All you need is that stray $2 coin that’s been lurking in the bottom of your bag for three weeks to buy yourself a hot coffee in the Mall. That’s right, in a deal better than Hungry Jack’s Penny Pincher menu, Harris Scarfe in Rundle Place do TWO DOLLAR COFFEES. And they’re not that small either.

Directed by Dome Karukoskik, Heart of a Lion is part drama, part comedy and part love story. The film centres on a neo-Nazi, Teppo, who has been recently released from prison. He then meets waitress Sari, and they instantly fall madly in love. There is a problem, however: Sari has a black son from a previous relationship.

Adelaide’s cheapest café has long been haunted (well, as long as Rundle Place has been alive) by the active seniors who venture into town to return their City Library books and the highly attractive and hard-working Harris Scarfe staff, whose lunch breaks I hear are way too short.

The atmosphere is slightly odd, given that it is located between Kitchenware and Manchester, but the level 2 real estate does make for shorter lines and relaxed dining. The barista is lovely and, if you’re real nice, she may even serve you up a healthy dose of coffee art.

Remember Borders? Where you could buy a book and then read it in the café in the back of the store? Replace the word ‘book’ with ‘crockery’ and Café 1849 is just like that. A café where you can buy your mug and drink from it too – there’s just no faulting it.

Aleksi Bardy reviewed by katya beketova

While the film paints a very raw and brutal portrait of racism, specifically the racist tendencies of those existing within extremist movements, it sensitively deals with the various moral complexities posed by its subject matter. The film is in no way brash; it does not rely on extreme caricatures to prove a point, nor does it simply show gory and terrible events to shock people. Rather, the film is one of considerable emotional depth. It offers a poignant depiction of Teppo’s relationships with others - in particular with Sari’s son, Rhamu, and with his own fervently right-wing brother, Harri.

Ultimately, it is a story about ‘broken’ people, about trying to live with competing sets of principles and ideals, and about overcoming (or not) the arising dissonance.

Full of tense moments made even more memorable by the talented cast, I highly recommend tracking down this unexpectedly touching film.

regulars

diversions 46 PAGE

Shake me and I’ll do what you want, but first you have to pull me from the ground.

I’m on the tip of your tongue and over your shoulder. What am I? Why is a raven like a writing desk?

At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen.

What are they?

voldemorts

What demands an answer, but asks no question?

A man and his boss have the same parents, but are not siblings. How is this possible?

A thousand wheels, but move I do not.

Call me what I am, call me a lot.

What goes in the water black and comes out red?

The more places I be, the less you can see. Who am I? To look cool wrap me around your head.

Remove a letter and eat me instead. What am I?

Answers in the next issue.

We know you’ll most likely go and google the answers before/after attempting to answer each riddle, but we like to imagine we have the power to torment you like they used to be able to before the invention of The Internet.

CONNECT THE DOTS

MAKE LIKE NICKI MINAJ AND GET YOUR ROMAN ON

regulars

Faux-diacs

with Mystic Marge

Aries After spending forty-five minutes queuing for an underwhelming burrito, you will decide to give up organised social constructs. This is admirable, but you will receive a fine after extending this to pantlessness.

Taurus You will Lose Friends And Alienate People after you start a sentence with ‘I’m not a racist, but-’. This sudden lapse in social standing is justified – your penance is only buying the gross cheap yogurt for the rest of the week.

Gemini You will end up watching an entire episode of The Bachelor after assuring your housemates ‘I don’t like it or anything, it’s just the only thing on.’ You will become so captivated by the contestants’ return to Hobbes’ State of Nature, you’ll lose all track of reality and suffer severe allergic reactions to any roses in your vicinity.

Cancer You will book a pap smear and actually attend. The awkwardness of having someone poke around your cervix will be negated by them having warm hands, and a jar full of lollipops. You may pass go and collect $200.

targedoku Find as many words as you can using the letters on the Sudoku grid. Words must be four letters or more and include the highlighted letter. Use the letters to solve the Sudoku (normal Sudoku rules apply). There are no repeated letters.

Clue: I’m just really happy that this word has 9 non-repeating letters. I’m pretty sure you can guess what it is. Predictable, no?

T

R T

E

R

N

M E

T

A

S

L

R

U

S

M E T E

A

M T

R

U

L

T

R

R N

L

Leo After yet another day spent moulding your spine to accommodate the underwire of your bra, you will decide to forsake mainstream ideas of underwear for an elaborate system of alfoil and bandaging. You will feel like a very insulated Mulan, and thus highly empowered.

Virgo In a fit of delusion and hysteria, you decide that this semester is going to be Your Best Yet, and bulk buy highlighters and novelty binders. You will continue to not do the set readings ever, but you will build a truly exceptional binder-fort.

Libra You will become fixated by the possums living in your roof, developing a series of elaborate schemes to lure them out, sell them into zoo slavery, and kill their loved ones. In the weeks that follow, however, you will discover you are not so different from your possum foe and learn to live in harmony and understanding.

Scorpio After spending your rent money on turtleneck jumpers and caramello koalas (AGAIN), you will be forced to fall back on that old culinary standby, boiled rice and chili sauce. Don’t panic: add some stale bar nuts and you’ve got all the food groups covered.

Sagittarius In a rebellion against pointless and demanding ideals of contemporary feminine beauty, you will begin giving your ladygarden elaborate hairstyles featuring novelty dye, braiding and floral headdresses. Invest in loose skirts.

Capricorn In a pointless social experiment, you decide to send every Tinder match you ever had a suggestive winky face. This will result in an unprecedented number of dates (and dick pics) and seriously undermine your confidence in the grammatically correct written communication you used to employ.

Aquarius During a particularly intense solo Alanis Morrisette/Ex Hate Night, a lack of wine will cause you to fall upon that bottle of ouzo you’ve avoided for the last two years. The rest of the right will be a blur, but at least this means you won’t be lying when you tell your housemate you don’t know why their Nutella stash is gone and several plates have been smashed. Silver lining.

Pisces You will spend twenty minutes uncontrollably staring at youtube videos of Nigella Lawson saying erotic things about butter. You will accidentally eat a whole block of cheese in the process, but this will be worth it for the sense of enlightenment you will gain.

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diversions

48 PAGE

emma’s dilemmas Life advice from someone who probably needs to see a therapist ART BY KATIE HAMILTON Um yeah, so like hypothetically say you were like playing golf one day and got really excited because you got a hole in one and were jumping up and down because you were heaps energetic and you were like “ohmygod, I am totally living in the moment so much right now, I cannot believe that I won!” and it was like the Toyota ad thing where the person is just so so happy that they are jumping in the air for joy, but then you got way too into the jumping and bumped into a golf buggy then like tripped and landed on the ground I guess but in like an awkward position. But the thing is that where you landed there was a golf ball, like right there, and when you landed, um like, the golf ball went up… like not even on purpose it was a total accident, you know?

I guess what I am trying to say is: what do you do if you get a golf ball stuck up your vag? Hypothetically.

– Anonymous, 22 It’s certainly uncomfortable to admit when sexual experimentation has gone awry. But why keep up this façade, anonymous? Why keep it up? Nobody’s judging you here. I mean we all are of course, but it’s not like you provided your name so that we as a society can publicly shame you.

Visit a doctor, ASAP. It’s a universal truth that women aren’t funny. You’re a woman, right? This column is in the “funnies” section, right? So prove that you’re funny. – Alicia, 24.

Look, I can’t prove that I, as a human female woman person, am funny. But I also can’t prove that you’re not a 37-year-old man who spends his days in his parents’ basement, playing World of Warcraft, angrily ranting about atheism and collecting his own toenail clippings in a zip-lock bag. Though we can only hope.

Hi Emma. I am so sick of how slutty girls are getting.

It was never like this back in the day was it? Girls used to dress like ladies; they were really classy. They didn’t sleep with a lot of different men (sometimes even other girls!), watch pornography, dress provocatively and use filthy language. My question to you is: where did it all go wrong? – Anonymous, 24.

Well anonymous, you malodorous piece of shit, it takes a special kind of dickhead to call a woman a “slut”. I have no problem insulting people (see above, fucksquash). However, the word “slut” is a one-sided insult specifically directed as a judgment call on only a woman’s sexuality. Which is fucked.

And as for anything being better in the good old days—I’ll make no bones about it, the world is in a state of decline. I mean, it’s always been about 70 per cent full of shit (Anonymous, you are .000001 of that percentage), but pretty soon the ice caps are going to melt and we won’t even have polar bears.

Got a question you’d like Emma to answer? Email us at ondit@adelaide.edu.au with the subject title ‘Emma’s Dilemmas’.