On Dit Edition 82.9

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contents

VOLUME EIGHTY-TWO, EDITION NINE.

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ITICS SPEC IAL

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EDITORIAL CORRESPONDENCE PRESIDENT SPIELS VOX POP WHAT’S ON

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DETRIMENTS OF GROWTH ISRAEL & PALESTINE

CITY SKATE PARK CLOSURE MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL FEATURED ARTIST SCIENCE INTERVIEW: PETER DREW

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COLUMNS REVIEWS DIVERSIONS RECIPE

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All content related to the 2014 student elections was approved by the Returning Officer. Published by On Dit. Please recycle.

Interwebs: auu.org.au/ondit. PICK ME, PLEASE. IT’S GOING TO LOOK SO GOOD ON MY RESUME. Editors: Sharmonie Cockayne, Daisy Freeburn and Yasmin Martin.

Front cover artwork by Vu Anh Tuan Le and Daisy Freeburn. Inside front cover artwork by Adriana Sturman. Inside back cover by Chih-Yi Hsiao.

On Dit is a publication of the Adelaide University Union.

On Dit is produced and printed on the traditional country of the Kuarna people of the Adelaide Plains. We recognise and respect their cultural heritage, beliefs and relationship with the land.

Published 26/8/2014

editorial

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W

henever I think of last year’s student election week, I think of all of the happy memories, and I am filled with anticipation and excitement for this year’s elections.

That was a lie. No one is excited for election week.

I’m not going to talk about student elections - you can read about them from pages 12-25 if you want.

Instead, I’m going to talk about one of my favourite things ever: food.

Have you tried those new peanut butter Tim Tams? After waiting what feels like an eternity for what could be the greatest invention since rock salt and balsamic vinegar chips, I bought two packets to help me layout this issue, only to discover they’re kind of really gross. They’re a bigger disappointment than the naming of iSnack 2.0.

But what might be an even bigger disappointment is the election of a student representative or student media director that not only sucks at their role, but ends up doing more harm to the greater student popluation than good.

Okay, I lied again. I am going to talk about the student elections. They’re kind of a big deal. A bigger deal, even, than Tim Tams, some would argue.

Student elections are as much about you as they are about the miserable candidates so downtrodden by the middle of the week that they’ve managed to supress all useless, primitive feelings like embarrassment, shame and pride.

Student elections are your one chance of the year to determine who will speak for you at the highest levels of university administration. Who do you want advocating for you to academic committees?

Of course, the elections aren’t just about politics. The fate of On Dit lies in voters’ hands. This, of course, means that you need to find out who your On Dit editor candidates are and have a chat to them, and find out who’s going to make the magazine that YOU want to read (or can at the very least make a magazine at all).

I mean, I don’t want to bribe you, but there’s a sticker at the end of your voting journey that is the hall pass of election week. Wear it proudly on your chest and the pollies will part like the Red Sea parted for Moses.

Okay, election talk over. Cheers to caramel Tim Tams: the forever constant in the flavoured Tim Tams range. Tip: freeze them and them slam them in cold milk for the ultimate taste sensation.

love, Sharmonie (and Daisy and Yasmin).

Top 5 reasons to register your club with the Adelaide University Union 1. We’ll give you money (conditions apply).

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The Adelaide University Union offers grant money to registered clubs. We’ve already spent nearly $20,000 this year to help clubs with the cost of running events and purchasing equipment. In 2014, each registered club is eligible for up to $800 to support their activities.

2. We have equipment that you can borrow.

As a registered club, you can book our equipment to use for free. We have trestle tables, marquees, a digital projector and PA system, plus Giant Jenga, for your club to use.

3. Clubs registered with the Union have insurance coverage.

The University of Adelaide’s insurance policy provides Personal Accident cover to members of clubs registered with the Union where members suffer an injury whilst participating in a club authorised event – on and off campus. Most venues will require insurance coverage for a public event.

4. We will provide email and web support for your club.

A club registered with the Union receives an email account and their own space on the Union website. The Union also offers an electronic membership management system and other support for your club’s online presence.

5. We’re here to help. Seriously.

The Union has staff dedicated to supporting and developing clubs on campus. For many students running clubs on campus, this is the first experience you will have of running a club. We’re here to give you advice and offer support should any issues arise.

Registrations due this Semester:

All registered clubs need to re-register each year, once they have had their Annual General Meeting (AGM). Otherwise, your registration will expire and you will no longer be able to access the benefits of being a registered club. Your licensing agreements with the University of Adelaide also need to be renewed every year.

A large number of registered clubs need to start thinking about when you are going to hold your AGM. If you have already had your AGM, please check that you have uploaded your paperwork onto the AUU website, or if you have any questions please email clubs@auu.org.au

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correspondence 4

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Dear Rachel, Firstly, congratulations for ‘It’s Time to Talk about Feminism’ being the first article in the history of ever that has prompted me to write a letter to the editor. My nan would be proud. Now to be fair, I can sort of see what you’re trying to say in this article in the way that I sort of understood the plot of Lost. According to the opening paragraph, if you identify as a feminist you’re either all about equal rights and rainbows or you’re some kind of crazed fanatic that spouts scary words such as ‘patriarchy’ and ‘misogyny’. But you can’t be both. No no. You can’t want things like not having to worry if your ‘chance of getting street harrassed’ looks big in this skirt AND be expected to also care about global problems like female genital mutilation. Even just wanting to be able to play video games without having your motives questioned pushes you into this dark side of feminism complete with complimentary hairy armpits and misandry. This misandry which apparently includes things like perpetuating harmful stereotypes about how big and scary men are. Ok that’s sexism, got it. What about stereotypes against women?

Well getting upset over that once again puts you in that second category of feminists that are ruining it for everyone. Oh. Yes ‘hyper feminism’ and its ‘thinly veiled contradictions’ is no match for the infallible logic of this article! And to think these hyper feminists even have the nerve to go and ‘judge your worth as a feminist’ which is definitely is not something a ‘real feminist’ such as yourself would do.

Thank you so much for showing me the light.

Sincerely, Sophie Atkinson

thankyou Thanks to Emma Doherty, who brandished her pen-sword in times of need; Toby, for copy-editing and Tim Tams; Anthony, for all the drawings and help and love; everyone who helped out at the student media tent at Open Day - you are amazing; all of our distrbution fairies; Cassie; and Andrew Klima, for approving our election content during his weekend off. Unthanks to ‘WTF renaissance’, our new procrastination tool.

Dear On Dit, I’ve just read the article in Elle Dit titled ‘It’s Time to Talk About Feminism’ and I’d just like to share some opinions about it.

First off, I do agree with some of what is written, such as the concerns about using sexism and alienation to achieve equality, but I think the article contains some very harmful ideas to be presenting to readers, both male and female. There are definitely some radical feminists out there whose means to an end are less than ideal, but I do not think most of the actions attributed to them in ‘It’s Time to Talk About Feminism’ are harmful in any way.

I believe getting ‘upset’ over the use of the word slut is justified as it is a word that attacks female sexuality, a woman’s right to do what she wants and be comfortable with her body, and is downright degrading. Stereotypical gender roles in advertisements communicate to women young and old what is expected of them, enforcing the gender stereotypes that many children, including trans-children, struggle with as they grow up and decide who they are and how they fit into this world.

The article mentions ‘the patriarchal oppression of women’ and ‘cultural misogyny’ as if these are not things that exist, even though abortion laws and access to birth control the world over show the opposite, as does the gender pay gap, the questions asked when a woman is sexually assaulted (e.g. ‘what was she wearing?’) and the way breasts are used to sell everything but God forbid a woman breastfeeds in public. Just to name a few.

riddle answers from 82.8 1. A telephone 2. Salt 3. Edgar Allan Poe wrote on both of them 4. He is self-employed (he is his own boss) 5. A carpark or garage 6. A lobster 7. Darkness 8. Stars 9. A bandana

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The expectations placed on women about the hair on their bodies is also a true feminist issue, as such expectations are not forced upon men, nor should they be. This highlights just one of the many double standards faced by women.

In the second to last paragraph of the article it says that type one feminists have fought to change not only the laws but the attitudes held by men and women, but the majority of this article condemns others for attempting to challenge these attitudes.

My fear about this article is that the comments made in it that I’ve addressed above will be taken in by readers and will further perpetuate the issues women face. It is skewed in a way that should someone read the article and disagree with even one idea, they are labelled by the writer as radical, a term which serves in this sense to shame and attack.

This only encourages people to shy away from the

issues being wrongly painted in a bad light.

I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think the opinions stated in this article do more harm than good in our community and undermine the importance of a women’s edition.

Michaela Tamlin

got your knickers in a knot?

Write to us. Our correspondence page is waiting to be filled with your rants and raves. Send us an email at ondit@adelaide.edu.au with the subject line ‘Letter to the Editor’.

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glorious leaders

state of the union Sam Davis, auu president

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Beyond what the government is doing, there are also some noteworthy things happening around our University. There are talks of moving away from our current two semesters system towards a trimester system. There are major construction works being undertaken, such as the building of a new centre at the new hospital, the development of a new dentistry school, and the redevelopment of Union House. The University is also looking transitioning into a deregulated market, which will dramatically effect student tuition fees.

Every year the AUU president implores the importance of voting in student elections, and to make an informed choice. This year is no different. Actually, this year’s are perhaps among the most important student elections since Voluntary Student Unionism was implemented in 2007.

This year marks the first student election since the incumbency of perhaps the most anti-student government in living memory – Abbott’s government.

Since the first proposed Budget issued in July this year, the government has faced one of the most effectively run anti-budget campaigns lead by student representatives, both from the National Union of Students and from campus office bearers across the country (including vocal representatives from our university). This campaign has demonstrated student dissent towards the government’s proposals and, due to massive community pressure, it looks as though the government will be unable to pass its anti-student reform agenda.

The question you will have ask yourself when voting is: Can my student representatives continue this fight, or are they only out for themselves?

The people you elect will be the representing students on these key issues. Student Representatives sit on most committees across the university, and have the ability to influence and affect university policy, as well as to lead campaigns against the university when they make decisions detrimental to the student body.

All of these factors demonstrate why this year’s elections will be so important.

So, what can you do to ensure that you are supporting the best candidates at Adelaide? Firstly, there will be a broad sheet published containing all of the names and schpiels of each candidate running in this year’s election. Make sure you give this a good read.

There will also be another opportunity to see what everyone stands for: election week. Talk to them.

Candidates will be out all week, from the 1st to the 5th of September. Make sure you go and talk to representatives from all groups, see what they stand for, see if their views gel with yours, and base your voting decision on who you believe will be the most effective student representatives.

I hope you make the most of your opportunity to vote, because it’s your opportunity have a say on what kind of campus you want.

glorious leaders

student representative column Lucy Small-Pearce, SRC president

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On average, one in every six people will experience depression at some stage of their lives, and the average age that most people experience their first episode of depression is in their early to mid 20s. This means that the likelihood of getting depression while at university is unfortunately high. A lot of the time, people don’t realise that they are suffering depression and just put it down to general life stress or sadness. Some of the symptoms of depression include: − Feelings of unhappiness, moodiness and irritability, and sometimes emptiness or numbness − Losing interest and pleasure in activities that you once enjoyed − Loss of appetite and weight (but sometimes people ‘comfort eat’ and put on weight) − Either trouble sleeping, or over-sleeping and staying in bed most of the day − Tiredness, lack of energy and motivation − Feeling worried or tense − Difficulty concentrating and making decisions − Feeling bad, worthless or guilty − Being self-critical and self-blaming − Having dark and gloomy thoughts, including thoughts of death or suicide If you have experienced any of these symptoms for longer than a few days, you may be suffering from depression. There are many places you can get help, both on campus and off campus.

The counselling and disability service on campus is a free service for students and offers experienced counsellors and support for students with disabilities (including depression). They can also help you get a Disability Action Plan, which can help you get extensions and flexibility in attendance if your disability affects your study. They are located on the ground floor of the Horace Lamb Building, North Terrace campus, and you can call to make an appointment on 8313 5663.

If you think you or a friend may be suffering from depression, or just to find out more information, visit: - headspace.org.au - beyondblue.org.au If you are in need of immediate help contact Life Line (24-hour phone counselling) on 131 114 or the Mental Health Telephone Triage Service (24-hour service for mental health emergencies) on 131 465.

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joe // 5th year medicine

hugh // 4th year law & commerce

melissa // 4th year

1. Passing medicine/cash money.

1. adelaide.startupweekend.org

1. Electronica.

2. University fees shouldn’t be deregulated.

2. Job market - There is a disconnect between degrees and jobs.

2. Deregulation of fees.

3. Green - like the $100 dollar bill.

3. Brown - it’s my last name.

4. If I was desperate.

4. Yes.

5. Probably not.

5. No.

6. Buy another Ferrari.

6. One time I was at a restaurant and I ordered the steak and a friend ordered the soup. I’d order the soup.

economics & french

3. Purple. Because purple.

4. No. 5. Yes. 6. Binge watch Breaking Bad (I haven’t finished watching it yet).

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On Dit popped these students’ voxes and asked: 1. What are you obsessed with right now?

2. What student issue do you feel most strongly about?

3. What colour is your life? Why? 4. Would you hitch hike?

5. . Will you be voting in the student elections?

6. An asteroid is heading for Earth and you only have 3 hours left to live. What do you do?

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maddi // year 12 university senior college

eric //1st Year medicine

1. I just got a unicycle so I’m a bit obsessed with learning how to use it.

1. Poker making.

2. The price of food and coffee! I do not appreciate it going up.

3. I’m going to go with purple. It’s just a pretty colour, and who doesn’t want a pretty colour to reflect their life?

4. Yes, it would be an adventure!

5. No, but I would if I could.

6. In the first hour I would buy all of the KFC I can consume. Then I would get all of my favourite people and family and have a huge two hour picnic of friends and KFC. Oh, and I would also ride my unicycle while eating KFC.

2. Not enough seats in the student kitchen.

3. Red - vibrant, passionate. I do like that.

4. If I have no other option, but I’d usually check the driver first.

5. Sure!

6. Call my parents, go to a party, have fun, and hang out with my friends.

catherine // final Year

arts

1. Capybaras. They’re giant rodents, and they can swim. They’re such ridiculous animals. I love them!

Apparently they’re at the zoo too!

2. You’re asking an ex SRC president - the cuts to education, access to education, access to resources and equity in education - there’s too many!

3. Red like the struggle (and the student union).

4. Would you get murdered?

5. Yes! I believe in strong student representation and strong student unions - everyone should vote!

6. Cuddle a capybara.

what’s on

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hey there, stranger.

On this page you’ll find all of the events, info, strange things people say sometimes, news, bake sales, pub crawls, tarp-surfing competitions and anything else you could possibly want to know about the University of Adelaide. Did we miss anything? Let us know at ondit@adelaide.edu.au.

textbooks Marksenfest What: The Student Co-op Bookshop When: 10am - 4pm Tuesdays and Thursdays Where: Level 4, 230 North Terrace

What: St Mark’s College’s German beer and cider themed festival When: 10am - 5pm, October 12th Where: St Mark’s College, Nth Adelaide

b a s k e t b a l l adelaide uni to u r n a m e n t mech expo What: Inter-Faculty 3x3 Basketball Tournament When: September 7th Where: Thebarton Campus Gymnasium The Basics: - 1 female and 1 male team per Faculty - 1 female and 1 male AU Basketball Club team - 4 - 6 players per team Cost: $10 entry per person More Info: theblacks.com.au

What: The School of Mechanical Engineering presents its 20th annual Honours project exhibition, showcasing the knowledge and skills of more than 200 mechanical, aerospace, sustainable energy, sports and mechatronic engineering students.

When: 6pm - 9pm, October 29th and 10am - 4pm October 30th Where: Adelaide Convention Centre

free brekky quiz night What: Weekly free breakfasts to keep our keen eyed students healthy and happy on campus.

When: Every Tuesday (excluding holidays), 8.30am – 10am Where: The Fix Lounge (next to Unibooks) Brought to you

by Student Care and the SRC.

What: The Adelaide University Sound Exchange Musicological Society 2014 Music Quiz Night When: 6.30pm, September 11th Where: Rumours Cafe, Uni of Adelaide Tickets: Free for AUSEMS members, or $5 for non-members to sign up on the night. Places are limited, so please book your seat by emailing musicologicalsociety@auu.org.au BYO food and non-alcoholic drinks.

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protest What: March Australia - the fight against the policies and practices of the Federal Government.

When: August 31st Where: Victoria Square to Parliament House

parking day What: PARK(ing) Day is the time when parking spaces in cities all around the world go from asphalt to awesome, temporarily transforming on-street car parks into creative spaces.

When: September 19th Where: Adelaide CBD http://www.adelaideparkingday.com/

art party

What: RAW presents: Scope Adelaide A multi-faceted artistic showcase featuring local artists. Film screening, musical performance, fashion show, art gallery, performance art and a featured hairstylist and makeup artist.

When: 8pm - 12am, September 26th Where: The Producers, 235 Grenfell St Tickets: rawartists.org/adelaide/scope

pubcrawl city to bay go and see What: Uni of Adelaide’s Vgen inaugral ethical pubcrawl - ETHICRAWL ETHICRAWL offers an ethical spin to the beloved PUB CRAWL. All shirts will be purchased from Etiko Fairtrade.

When: 7pm, September 19th Where: Adelaide UniBar, PJ O’Briens, The London, and the Dog and Duck Shirts: $25 each More info: Search ‘Adelaide Uni’s “ETHICRAWL”’ on Facebook.

archball When: 7pm, September 19th Where: Gallery on Waymouth Theme: Black Tie + One colour Tickets: $70 each (or $65 for early birds). From the Arch School Office

pubcrawl What: AUScA Cell-fie Pubcrawl When: 7pm - 11.55pm, September 5th Where: PJ’s, The Elephant, The Austral, Mansions Shirts: Shirts sold before publications, but tag along anyway.

Are you thinking of running in the City-Bay? Do it with The Blacks!

Runners and walkers will paint the town (and sea) black, whether it’s over 3km, 6km or 12km.

When: 8am - 12pm, September 14th Where: City - Bay The Exclusive $20 Team Package comes jam packed: - The Blacks team singlet - Tailored 12-week training program - Chance to win oodles of prizes More info: theblacks.com.au

psychball When: 6.30pm - 11pm, September 19th Where: The Park View Room, Adelaide Pavilion Theme: A Red Carpet Affair Tickets: $75 each. From 11am-3pm in the Hub

trollop’s O d y s s e y The First Celebrity: Anthony Trollop’s Australasian Odyssey When: 6pm, September 25th Where: Ira Raymond Exhibition Room, Barr Smith Library Cost: $5 Book: robina.weir@ adelaide.edu.au

some really interesting

art

What: ‘Green Thumb’ Drawings by Jordan Lindsay Where: Sub Rosa Gallery, Level 4 231 North Terrace When: Aug 28th - Sep 16th

businessball Adelaide Business Student’s Society Ball When: September 13th Where: Hotel Tivoli grand ballroom, 265 Pirie St, Adelaide Tickets: $75

mediaball Adelaide Media Student’s Society Ball When: 8pm, September 19th Where: The Ambassadors Hotel Tickets: $65

you had me at hello.

Email: ondit@adelaide.edu.au Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onditmagazine Twitter: @onditmagazine Instagram: @onditmag Snail Mail: On Dit, c/o Adelaide University Union, Level 4 Union House, University of Adelaide, 5005 In Real Life: Pop into our office on the West side of the Barr Smith Lawns. Yep, you’ll have to walk down those gloomy looking stairs. Sorry.

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student elections Don’t you just love Election Week? president candidate profiles Former glorious leaders student elections are hard Comic

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student elections!

y u do dis, on dit?

S

tudent elections are upon us once again, and we can hardly believe it. It seems like yesterday that we were out on the Barr Smith Lawns, clutching our mock-up edition of On Dit, begging for your votes.

Standing on the lawns for five days trying to convince people to support you is no easy feat, but it was one of the most rewarding undertakings we have ever attempted.

A few years ago a student campaigner famously remarked that campaigning in student elections was like being a very attractive sex worker offering free, no-obligation sexual favours, yet still being rejected every single time.

They were not wrong.

to go to their crowded tutorials, buy their expensive textbooks, and get on with their degrees.

Sometimes this university feels like a degree factory.

Yet the student political scene at this university has turned out some of the most prolific politicians of our time. Former Prime Minister Julia Gillard, Minister of Education Christopher Pyne, Senators Penny Wong, Sarah Hanson-Young and Nick Xenophon are all old hats of the University of Adelaide student politics game.

They, and many more like them, got their start on this campus, waving their banners across the lawns, hassling you to care.

Student elections are a necessary part of democratic student representation, and nobody knows better than candidates how much the general student body hates that.

There’s something in the water at the University of Adelaide, and the students you elect today could very well be the politicians that run the country tomorrow.

With that in mind, we bring you a few interviews to get you thinking about how you can really make your vote count this year. We spoke to your Adelaide University Student Representative Council President candidates, to give you a snapshot of what they can do for you.

We also spoke to two very prominent politicians that both began their illustrious political careers right here: Senators Penny Wong and Nick Xenophon.

Isn’t that strange? It’s the one week of the year that students get the opportunity to have a say in big issues like how their SSAF money is being spent, and what kind of representation they want. Yet so many students avoid the elections like the plague. They hide from the student pollies, or become abusive and mean.

They don’t want a bar of ‘cheaper textbooks’ or ‘better childcare services’ or ‘accountability’. They just want

As we approach election week, we ask you to remember one very important fact: student politicians are human too. Yes, election week is annoying, but student politicians wouldn’t subject themselves to this if they weren’t truly passionate about student issues. Trust us.

Nobody puts themselves through election week unless they really really care.

- The Eds

Running in student elections, particularly for positions such as AUU Board Director or SRC member, is a big task. It is the most gruelling and emotionally taxing week of the year for candidates, and possibly one of the most frustrating weeks for all the other students.

All students are eligible to vote in the Student Elections.

You’ll be voting for five AUU Board Directors for 2015-2016, seven delegates to the National Union of Students, student media directors (including on dit!), and all positions on the Student Representative Council.

You can vote at any of the following polling booths with your Student ID during elections.

North Terrace Campus On the Barr Smith Lawns & The Hub Popup booth Monday 1st September to Friday 5th September, 9am-4pm Waite Campus Union Office (Lower ground floor, McLeod House) Thursday 4th September, 11am-3pm Roseworthy Campus Union Office (Next to Tappo’s Lounge) Thursday 4th September, 11am-3pm

Authorised by the RO. Published by On Dit. Please recycle.

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potential glorious leaders

We asked all of your nominees for src President the same four questions:

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1. Why do you think you are the best candidate for the job?

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2. What do you think is the biggest issue students face right now?

3. What do you think of the student movement’s response to the higher education funding cuts?

4. Sum up your plans for the SRC should you win.

Thomas Gilchrist is also a candidate for SRC President. All four candidates were offered (and accepted) the opportunity to participate in this Q&A. Unfortunately, only three of them responded. Here are their answers.

sam davis – activate Degree: economics & arts Year: fourth year

1. I have been the most experienced student representative running for the position for SRC President, having sat on the SRC for three years, and having had other representative roles, such as my current role in AUU President. I have been able to build the connections across the university necessary to effect change, and to ensure that the student voice is heard.

2. The biggest issue affecting students is the proposed

changes to the higher education sector, by the antistudent Abbott government. The proposed changes will both cut the amount of funding given to universities, as well as allowing the deregulation of fees, which means that universities will be able to charge whatever they want for your education, and will make education far less accessible to those who cannot afford, and create a two tiered education system.

There are also going to be other issues that come up next year. One of these is the move to three trimesters, as opposed to two semesters. If we are not properly represented on this issue, there could be major impacts on student’s work, life and study balance, and may have

issues around scholarship and Centrelink payments, if not properly implemented.

3.

The movement in response to the government’s proposed changes to higher education have been highly effective. We have seen education issues make the front page of every newspaper since the campaign has started.

The movement needs to continue in its strength, to ensure that it remains on the front pages of newspapers, and to build wider community support for standing up for students.

4. With key issues coming up in the university, I want to see a strong representative presence, one that uses the power of the university’s committee system to ensure that student’s voices are heard. I also want to see the fight against the government’s changes to the higher education sector continued to be effectively fought against and seeing a strong presence from Adelaide in doing that.

I also want to continue and expand upon on events that promote student welfare, like the free Breakfast Club and Stress Less Days.

potential glorious leaders

Robert kavanagh – democrats

Degree: media (formerly law, arts, music and justice) Year: first year

1. I have been around Adelaide Uni for a while as a

student and academic. I am a lawyer with international corporate and human rights experience, as well as having being a director of public and private companies.

I have done a lot of work over the years to prepare me to be your new SRC President.

I believe I am the person for the job because I am pragmatic and will always come from a reasonable point of view, rather than be beholden to any radical ideology or pre-conceived agenda. This gives students the confidence that their issues and problems will always be at the fore. This is the way of the AUDemocrats, of which I am leader.

2.

We and many of our peers face tough times; expensive study aids, overflowing class sizes, diminishing curricula, and rising fees. Being able to afford bus fares, course readers, books, etc are the real issues being dealt with by students on a day-to-day basis.

We want to make lasting changes and we want to help those disadvantaged. We will seek out the disenfranchised on campus and will advocate on their behalf.

There is still a lot of inequity in this university that needs to be tackled head-on.

Mental health is also a major problem that must be addressed swiftly and adequately.

3.

I think we should not rest until we get the results we require for higher education funding. Having come back to the university for a second time, the class sizes are huge and you can tell that the teaching staff are completely under the pump.

Pyne is wrong and we should continue to fight against cuts to education and the deregulation of unis in Australia.

4. I will: - fight Abbott’s Budget measures involving students, education & welfare ALL THE WAY. - demand 100 per cent active membership on SRC. - look after disadvantaged or disenfranchised students with targeted and effective policies.

- spearhead an extensive awareness program on mentalhealth.

- look after the every-day concerns of all of our students pragmatically.

renji du – progress Degree: Engineering & arts Year: fifth year

1. My experience working with international and domestic students on and off campus in many student associations whose members come from a variety of personal and academic backgrounds will enable me to best represent the greatest number of students.

2.

Students are facing so many pressures that it impossible to name just one. Students from all backgrounds, both domestic and international are facing a range of issues from cost of living pressures to the pressure of living away from family and loved ones.

4. To create a student union that is representative of all students, one that is focused on the student experience in all faculties and across all programs.

We will create an SRC that is strong on student representation and one that is focused on the university campus and its culture.

We will work with the University of Adelaide to build a strong, visible, student community through a variety of student led events and initiatives aimed at making campus life engaging and fun for all!

The reality of student life is unique to each and every student, but certainly textbooks could be cheaper, and a free coffee machine wouldn’t hurt anyone.

3.

The response has been a strong one from the start and is continuing to build significant momentum.

Moving forward I see more engagement with and more input from students who have not attended rallies and protests but nevertheless have significant concerns regarding the issue and need to have a voice.

Authorised by the RO. Published by On Dit. Please recycle.

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former glorious leaders

nick xenophon now: senator for south australia then: on dit editor, 1977

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You’ve previously said in interviews that the vote rigging scandal surrounding your election as On Dit editor in 1976 turned you off of party politics. Besides turning you off of party politics, how did that controversy change the way you felt about student politics?

I think it was just a very unpleasant experience, and I think that it highlights the fact that you have to have elections that are transparent and honest, and a process that is scrupulously fair. And that’s why I had an interest in, through knowing Anwar Ibrahim (the Malaysian Opposition Leader), and have been part of a group that has been monitoring the election process in Malaysia, which by the way I can’t go to anymore because I’ve been banned- uh, deported mid last year. It just highlights the importance of having a fair electoral process and one that is beyond reproach.

Do you think student politics serves a sort of training ground for major political parties?

How do you think student politics prepared you for “grown up” politics?

It taught me to be a bit skeptical and that, in politics, if you’re an independent, you really can trust no one. I was a lawyer acting for plaintiffs when the former Liberal government (back in the 1990s) was planning draconian changes to workers compensation laws. I was spokesperson and local president of the Australian Plaintiff Lawyers Alliance at the time, so that was my involvement in politics. For many years I had no involvement.

After student politics goes the case of ‘once bitten twice shy’. But, I couldn’t stay silent on issues that were important, so I guess I sort of learned what not to do. I learned to keep away from the major parties.

I was involved in the Young Libs, and I think I said that was a youthful indiscretion. You know, some people do drugs or graffiti when they’re young; I did Young Liberals. So, if anything, it taught me to be wary of organized political machines.

I got back involved when I saw things happening to my clients, of proposed legislative changes. And, although the great irony is that the changes by Liberals were nowhere near as bad as changes that were introduced by Labor, in fact, more shocking than what the Liberals ever came up with.

I’m sure it does. But I’m wondering whether the training in student politics is more of a hindrance than a help. If it teaches you to be part of this tribal factional system of politics where it’s based on ideology rather than individual issues, then it’s a bad training ground. So, sure, it’s a training ground, but is it a training that will teach you bad habits, rather than keeping more open minded on issues? I guess that’s one thing that I’ve learned. I try to look at issues without ideology to see what the practical outcomes will be.

If you could say one thing to young Xenophon, right before his first ever Liberal Club meeting, what would you say?

I would say be more cynical, be less trusting, be less naïve, and have a touch of healthy cynicism.

You aren’t the only University of Adelaide student politics survivor to have become successful in politics.

Why do you think this is?

I think it says something about the issues. I think every university would have a group of people that have been contemporaries. And I think Christopher Pyne and Penny Wong, and Jay Weatherill for that matter, are very capable people. Whether you do or don’t disagree with them, they have intellects and capacity to argue their case, and obviously are very successful in their

former glorious leaders

“

I learned to keep away from the major parties. I was involved in the Young Libs, and I think I said that was a youthful indiscretion.

You know, some people do drugs or graffiti when they’re young; I did Young Liberals.

Student politicians of today constantly complain about a mixture of student apathy and discontent.

What was your experience with students like when you were a student?

I think that people were much more engaged for a whole range of reasons. I think that it was the early days of the Fraser government, and the irony that Malcom Fraser is sort of one of the great Lefties of Australian Politics, who was then demonized as being to the right of Attila the Hun, but he was conservative. I think he’s softened, and I think history will lean a bit more gently to some of the things that he did.

I think that there’s more pressure on students these days. They worry that the job market is nowhere near as good, and they’re under enormous pressure.

I think that in some ways that’s pretty bad, in the sense that university isn’t just about immersing yourself in studying and passing your exams, it’s about a life experience that is incredibly valuable. It’s about maturing as an individual. It’s about developing your capabilities for critical thought. It’s all those things, and I think that it’s more of a ‘those are the drive stones’ type atmosphere for uni students nowadays.

What role do you think student unions play (or should play) in broader political movements?

Obviously my views have changed over the years.

Personally, I think student unions have (and I’m not

“

respected parties. So, I guess I’m the outlier. I’m a bit of the freak of the bunch and I think that goes through conventional party organisations. I mean, it’s issues based, running as an independent.

saying anything about Adelaide University Union) got a legitimate role to encourage debate on issues, to encourage participation in activities, for sporting and political activities. As long as the organisations are transparent, they’re democratic, and that their members take initiative to trigger a review of a decision if the decision is a controversial one. I think that student unions do have a valuable role in advocacy of student benefits, particularly for students who for whatever reason need help at a personal level. I think that student unions have a very important role to play. The initiatives of the student union should be what the majority of the students want, and as long as students get that, there should be a democratic process involved.

Do you have any pearls of wisdom to share with students running in this year’s student elections?

Yes, I do. I think that you should just be true to yourself. People can spot a phony pretty easily. If you’re passionate about an issue, follow it through and make that contribution. Ask yourself ‘how will I make my place of study a better place?’

I think just do your best, but also don’t forget you’re also there to get a degree. It’s a question of a balancing act, but I think that ultimately student politics is like other forms of politics at its highest form, at its most altruistic form: It ought to be giving service to the community and, in this case, the university community.

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former glorious leaders

penny wong

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now: opposition leader in the senate then: National Executive of the National Union of students, 1987

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Do you still follow the University of Adelaide student elections?

I don’t have the time to follow student elections closely. But I do keep in touch with young people who are committed to social change – these are often students, Young Labor members or young people from other progressive organisations.

A lot of your contemporaries from your time at the University of Adelaide have now gone on to become prominent politicians like yourself. Is there something in the water at the University of Adelaide?

You were very active in the Adelaide University Labor Club and the National Union of Students. When did you realise you wanted politics to be your career?

As a student activist, I protested outside an ALP state conference. While outside, I realised that the change I wanted would be instigated by those on the conference floor. I decided that to advocate for reform, it was better to be inside the room. That prompted me to join the Labor Party. The main lesson from my student days is the importance of working with others to achieve change.

Student politics has been criticised as being a ‘recruitment ground’ for ALP politicians. Do you think this is true?

Some people do go on to be involved in political parties and seek careers in politics. But student politics is much more than that – it’s an opportunity for students to come together, debate issues, work out their beliefs, and campaign to achieve change.

If you could say one thing to young Penny, right before her first ever Adelaide University Labor Club meeting, what would you say?

Find your own voice.

I came through university with a cohort of bright and committed individuals, many now involved in politics. The Premier Jay Weatherill and Mark Butler went through the Adelaide University law school.

Our former Prime Minister Julia Gillard as well as Natasha Stott Despoja and Nick Xenophon also attended the University and were active on campus.

On Dit has also been the launching pad for prominent journalists like David Penberthy, Annabel Crabb and Samantha Maiden. It’s good to see former Adelaide University students contributing to the public life of our country.

Student politicians of today constantly complain about a mixture of student apathy and discontent.

What was your experience with students like when you were a student?

Students engage with political and social issues today in a different way, often through social media and online campaigns rather than political parties or formal institutions. That doesn’t mean students are any less interested in what is going on in society. The challenge for student activists today is the same as it is for all of us in politics – to communicate with people about the issues in ways that are relevant to their lives and that inspires them to get involved.

What’s your favourite student election story?

Sometimes what happens on the campaign trail should stay on the campaign trail.

Other Former Glorious Leaders

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Some people do go on to be involved in political parties and seek careers in politics.

But student politics is much more than that – it’s an opportunity for students to come together, debate issues, work out their beliefs, and campaign to achieve change.

“

What do you think of student activists’ responses to the higher education cuts, and how do you think they should proceed?

The Abbott Government’s higher education changes would be a massive step backwards. Higher fees and higher interest charges on student debts, will hurt today’s generation of students and make it harder for thousands of young people to even go to university.

I’ll leave it to the student activists of today to work out their campaign strategies.

Do you have pearls of wisdom to share with students running in this year’s student elections?

Debate is the lifeblood of democracy – learn from your experiences, your electors, and your opponents.

And don’t forget to have fun.

Julia Gillard, Prime Minister, 2010 – 2013 • •

President of the Adelaide University Union (AUU), 1981 President of the Australian Union of Students (AUS), 1983

Christopher Pyne, Minister for Education, 2013 – now •

•

Financial-Vice President of the Students’ Association of the University of Adelaide (SAUA, now known as the SRC), 1985 President of the Adelaide University Liberal Club, 1987-1988

Sarah HansonYoung, SA Senator, 2008 – now • •

Environment Officer of SAUA, 2002 President of SAUA, 2003

John Bannon, South Australian Premier, 1982 –1992 • • • •

Editor of On Dit, 1964 President of the SRC, 1966-1967 President of the AUS, 1968 President of the AUU, 1969-1971

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ONE AND THE SAME 12 STORIES THAT CONFIRM THAT ELECTION WEEK IS SHIT FOR EVERYONE WORDS BY ALICE BITMEAD ART BY ANTHONY NOCERA

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nother year, another student election week.

The memories of those dark, dark times still haunt me: the sight of a crudely painted banner, or a flyer being thrust into my hands by some talking subway promo sandwich take me back to the Barr Smith Lawns with the ferocity of some repressed childhood memory, or like when you unexpectedly bump into that creep you still regret accidently having sex with that time.

It was a world of spin and BO, a no-man’s land of awkward social interaction, bad campaign t-shirts and sun burn. Like savannah vultures to a zebra teetering on the brink of collapse, we student politicians were forced to circle, trying to make the ‘warm and approachable’ kind of eye contact instead of its ‘the leering creep at the bar who will probably try and roofie your drink’ brother.

Take the following list of my 12 favourite election week moments as proof that election week is fun for no one.

1. That person that thinks you’re chatting them up when actually you’re just asking them what they study so you can con them into voting for you, and who looks really hurt and confused when you end romantically with ‘THE VOTING BOOTH IS OVER THERE COOLBYE.’ 2. The other person who, scenting weakness, uses your need for votes as leverage to chat YOU up. You’re down on numbers (and dignity) so you give them your number and condemn yourself to making awkward small talk in the line for Grassroots with them for the next three years.

3. Trying and falling to remember the name of Misc Quiet Student from that politics tute last semester in order to pretend like the time they asked what essay question you were doing constitutes a beautiful and enduring friendship and thus a reason to vote for you.

4. Still making sure not to make eye contact with that mature age student who always winks and leers at you in class – you will never be THAT desperate.

5. The hot pants you must stoically don on ‘hump’ Wednesday – the dick vote isn’t going to get itself, amirite.

6. Morale rapidly failing, you attempt to start an uplifting sing-along of Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ amongst candidates. From now until eternity, that song will remind you of the spiraling pool of darkness and despair inside yourself. Luckily you will usually only hear it played in Sugar at 4am, and thus your feelings are justified.

7. Every time someone says they can’t vote as they go to UniSA, and laugh.

8. Every time somebody asks what the SRC even does anyway, and you respond with ‘shit, like, represent the students? I’m going to say represent the students’.

9. The hurt look in someone’s eyes when you approach them for the fifth time that day and they’re like ‘don’t you remember me? I thought I MEANT something to you! I thought I was SPECIAL!’ You will approach them another two dozen times accidentally.

10. Accidently campaigning to someone from another ticket because they took their team shirt off to make a mad dash into the Hub for emergency fries and you can hardly be expected to remember what every jerk’s face there looks like, right?

11. Getting wasted off the fumes from the warm Passion Pop someone thoughtfully brought to ‘celebrate’ with at 4pm on Friday, passing out in a pile of soiled electioneering t-shirts and coming to in La Sing, mid Cher solo.

12. Votes are cast and positions are awarded, but you just gave up a whole week of your life to stand in a dank bit of courtyard trying to convince some second year engineering wanker that you want to help them out. No one is a winner here.

Alice Bitmead is like so what, I’m drunk, it’s the freaking weekend baby, she’s about to have her some fun.

Authorised by the RO. Published by On Dit. Please recycle.

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comic

by Madeleine Karutz

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feature

Entropy & Budget Smugglers

A consideration of growth words by Justin McArthur Art by Jack Lowe

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s Australians, we tend to subscribe to the idea that economic growth is always a good thing. If we’re keeping growth on track, we’re succeeding as a nation. But it’s possible to have too much of a good thing (see Spiderman 3).

In international terms, by the measure of economic growth, Australia sure is succeeding. (Hang tight, I’ll be talking about popcorn soon.) To lay out the facts, Australia is one of only 10 countries with a AAA credit rating from all of the Big Three ratings agencies (placing us alongside Canada, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Luxembourg, Norway, Singapore, Sweden and Switzerland); of these, only three (Luxembourg, Norway and Switzerland) have a higher nominal gross domestic product (GDP) per

capita, and Australia has a much higher rate of per capita economic growth, and a slightly lower public debt, than both of these nations. Indeed, amongst OECD1 countries, Australia has the ninth highest rate of per capita economic growth and the third lowest public debt. A Fairfax survey of 25 economists in July wholeheartedly rejected the Federal Government’s notion of a ‘budget emergency’ or ‘debt crisis’.

The Australian Financial Review (AFR) was less generous before the budget, citing Australia’s

resources boom as a key reason for the nation’s current (relative) prosperity. According to the AFR, Australia is in a better position than it was in back in 1996, when Howard was elected, but still not doing as well as one could hope for ‘after the biggest commodities boom in our history and after 23 years without a recession’. Still, the AFR recommended that the best approach to fix the budget would be to ensure ‘the burden falls not on those who can least afford to bear it’, but rather ‘on programs that favour upper-middle earners and big business’.

1. The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

Fundamentally a data-gathering organisation, it collects data to assess the economic and social performance of member nations, and suggest better ways of addressing issues of economic and social well-being.

All of these metrics rest upon the concept of ‘growth’, however. So why do we use growth as a basis for measurement? My brain hurts from quoting things, so let’s talk about popcorn.

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Popcorn is great

Basically, popcorn is awesome. You get a few pieces of inedible solid nonsense (‘popping corn’), you cover them in salt and butter, you whack them in a microwave in a bag, and then they literally explode into deliciousness. If you’re like me, when you find a decent brand of popcorn, you keep making more until you almost explode from overconsuming. (Oooh, foreshadowing.)

Economic growth is kinda similar, in that it’s based on ‘value added’ to products. An individual asset’s ‘value added’ can be judged by subtracting the value of raw materials from the value of the end product – if my company takes wheat, and we mill that wheat into flour, then my ‘value added’ is the value of flour relative to the value of wheat. Using the popcorn example, if I take those hideous brown rocks and turn them into delicious popcorn, then my ‘value added’ is the value of the popcorn, subtract the value of the popping

corn2. It’s not complex maths, and Australia’s gross domestic product, or GDP, is just the same thing on a bigger scale. Simply put, the GDP is the total ‘value added’ to all products produced domestically. To dramatically simplify the language – Australia’s economic growth is the rate at which our ‘value added’ is growing3.

And using this calculation makes a lot of sense, when we consider the world as a series of nations competing for resources and for economic dominance. At the heart of most growth-driven, expansionist economics is the idea that each nation must prove itself on a global stage – not necessarily competing 2. After saying all that aloud, the word ‘value’ tastes funny in my mouth.

3. Economic growth is usually assessed in annual, per capita terms.

4. I realise this is a simplification of Darwin, whose evolutionary principles do actually allow for altruism and group selection and all that jazz, but ‘Darwinism’ is still the most natural word to illustrate my point. Sorry about that, ol’ buddy.

in a strictly Darwinian sense, where only the fittest survive4, but nonetheless competing to prove economic prowess within a semi-friendly rivalry. These are the dialogues we rely upon when discussing ‘budget emergencies’, genuine or otherwise. Since our international friends depend on analyses of ‘growth’ to judge our worth, we, in turn, evaluate ourselves by these metrics.

The problems with this approach are two-fold, for Australians.

Firstly, to speak in global terms, we don’t have a limitless planet – we can’t make endlessly expansive, entropic popcorn. And secondly, to speak in local terms, Australia’s wealth comes from mining, which is even more observably finite. So not only does it seem a bit bland, fickle and empty to consider the merits of our whole nation purely in the context of endless production, but the assessment of our natural assets (some of which have developed for millennia) seems

feature frankly ridiculous when they are only measured by their fleeting increase in economic value at the moment they are extracted from the earth.

Another fear is that growth will be indirectly cut by taxation, in that taxation will drive away investment. This is a part of the reason successive governments have struggled to appropriately tax the mining industry – the idea that Rinehart et al will pack up their mines and leave, while a comical one, weighs heavily on the minds of our lawmakers. Kevin Rudd’s Minerals Resource Rent Tax, as administered by Julia Gillard and Wayne Swan, raised far less money than it was estimated to, and Abbott’s Liberals, both in opposition and now in government, have jumped on slumps in the mining industry to decry its failure and attempt its repeal. Quite successfully, Abbott’s opposition and government have changed the dialogue from questions about ‘making multinational mining companies pay their fair share for natural resources’ to questions around ‘raising revenue’, and made the idea of any sort of mining tax seem unviable, rather than just the existing one.

Coal mining, while contributing 3.14 per cent of GDP, only employs 1.55 per cent of all workers in Australia. Four billion dollars a year are paid to mining companies in Commonwealth subsidies. Finite resources form a fragile backbone for an economy, one that cannot possibly last.

We cannot romanticise a second wave of Aussie diggers, and forget about all the other nations, once resource-rich, that were all too eager to be plundered. Booms crash, and Australia needs to reinvest its resource-based wealth wisely – ‘austerity’ alone can’t and won’t save us from the inevitable deflation of our mining industry.

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To give two examples of innovation: firstly, before smallpox vaccinations started to be administered via needle, patients were scratched by their doctor, and then the scratches were rubbed with powdered smallpox scabs; secondly, well into the 1800s, leeches and hot cups were applied to pneumonia sufferers in order to motivate blood-flow and address ‘surplus fluids’. I hope that these two cases will suffice as my evidence that I understand: scientific progress is good.

And I understand, too, that science can be driven by a desire for economic growth. Treating nations competitively has meant, in the past, that innovative spirits have flourished – governments have long invested in Scientification and Scienticians with the express purpose of promoting national prosperity. Australians, or at least some of us, pride ourselves on inventions including the fridge, the drill, bionic ears and pacemakers, powerboards, tanks, and product activation codes, the latter of which has proudly ensured that no Australian ever engages in electronic piracy5. But it is important to avoid conflating economic

A paper called ‘The Tragedy of the Commons’, published in Science back in 1968, begins by pointing out the importance of considering problems without what the author (a Mr. G. Hardin) calls ‘technical solutions’. The paper uses the example of tic-tac-toe – a game that, against a competent and attentive player, can only possibly end in a draw:

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‘There is no ‘technical solution’ to the problem. I can win only by giving a radical meaning to the word “win”.

I can hit my opponent over the head; or I can drug him; or I can falsify the records. Every way in which I “win” involves, in some sense, an abandonment of the game, as we intuitively understand it.’

Later in the paper, he quotes the philosopher Whitehead: ‘The essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things.’

The history of human progress has been replete with remedies, gizmos and miracle cures, and it is the precise role of science to shake us from ignorance, even when that ignorance is methodological. Some problems require us to ‘abandon the game’, and ‘technical solutions’ to accommodate growth, put frankly, cannot exist forever. As Hardin puts it:

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‘We will greatly increase human misery if we do not, during the immediate future, assume that the world available to the terrestrial human population is finite. “Space” is no escape. A finite world can support only a finite population; therefore, population growth must eventually equal zero.’

5. Citation needed.

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Hopefully I have made a somewhat decent case for the idea that ‘economic growth’ is a weak measure of national progress, owing to its economic and political flaws.

But I need to address another line of criticism: the relationship between ‘economic growth’ and ‘scientific growth’. We often like to think that innovation and invention can solve all of humanity’s problems – so it might seem to go against scientific progress to suggest that these cannot solve our resource limitations.

growth with the growth of our collective intellect. Our resource limits are as much a scientific issue as an economic and political one.

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Growth and science – an uneasy relationship

For example, let us acknowledge Hardin’s specific case about population growth. The UN estimates that the global population will be between 8.3 and 10.9 billion people by 2050, but why stop there? Assuming that population growth continued exponentially, without factoring in the kinds of resource limits he mentions, we’d have a population of a trillion in 500 years or so. Adelaide alone would house about half a billion.

Everyone would be hungry, and more to the point, traffic would become a nightmare, even if none of the poor have cars.

Just as resource limits mean that population growth can’t continue forever, our national production can’t continue to expand forever.

Yet in the political rhetoric justifying our last budget, we heard not only that our production power needs to expand, but that the rate of growth itself needs to improve – so we’re trying to expand the rate at which we expand.

We can’t hang our hats on exponential economic growth. There’s no way it can continue sustainably and forever, in a world with limited resources. And nor does it make much sense to assess ourselves according to ideas of eternal economic entropy – if money genuinely exists to serve people, and not the other way around, then surely it makes far more sense to assess our prosperity by actually looking at how people are doing.

Then, we won’t end up sacrificing the welfare of our people to the Almighty Market.

Just a thought.

Justin ‘Tyrone’ McArthur (born 1964) is an American satirist, writer, comedian, television host, and actor. He will succeed David Letterman as host of The Late Show in 2015.

israeli restraint, peaceful palestine,

and other myths

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words byjustin boden art by anthony nocera

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t is hard to imagine that there is much about the Israel-Palestine conflict that hasn’t already been said, repeated, and then said over again ad infinitum. Whenever hostilities break out in Gaza, or over on the West Bank, the same old talking points are hashed and rehashed, and any new developments are framed to fit in with whichever side’s pre-existing worldviews. Facts, which are always selectively chosen, are thrown in with open-ended opinion like so much refuse, which only serves to clutter, rather than reinforce, the two camps. For the most part, and with some notable exceptions, it’s not informed debate so much as a platform for people to make noise.

The beginning and the end of all this activity is to put the blame wholly on the Palestinians, or wholly on the Israelis, all the while talking of peace. But the only peace that can be had under those conditions is a peace on uncompromising terms, which can only result in more of the status quo. Desire for peace in this sense is not just an empty platitude, but an obstacle to any solution or compromise. And so the engine keeps turning, crushing reason and nuance underfoot in a spectre of loud-mouthed opinionating.

This time around the dead children of Gaza predominantly feature as the fulcrum of the debate. Pro-Palestinian supporters are undoubtedly sincere in their attempt to discuss the conflict on terms that acknowledge the supremely tragic nature of the violence. But, just as plainly, they’re using the deaths of these children for political point-scoring. This becomes evident when you score the tactic up against Israel’s justification of civilian casualties in their occupation of Gaza. It’s a straightforward logic, which goes something like this: A majority of Palestinians voted for Hamas. Hamas is a terrorist organisation. Palestinians, therefore, are all responsible for Hamas-led terrorism.

As with most simple narratives there’s some truth to this line of reasoning, and plenty else that’s left out. It doesn’t admit that it was Israel that fostered Hamas as a political movement, originally to disrupt secular Palestinian nationalism. It leaves-out the fact that Hamas were voted in eight years ago, and that it’s not so obvious that a majority of Palestinians would vote them in again today. And it

also does away with the notion that we don’t, generally, hold entire populations responsible for their democratic majority - not every Australian is personally responsible for Tony Abbott’s election, any more than they were responsible for Julia Gillard’s.

Regardless, by talking about children - many of whom weren’t alive back in 2006, or in any case wouldn’t have been old enough to vote for Hamas - Palestinian sympathisers are side-stepping this argument, but in a manner that legitimises the Israeli position. This is fundamentally a reactive stance, and one which tacitly admits that adult Palestinians are responsible for Hamas’s actions. If the children are innocent because they weren’t able to participate in the democratic process, then Palestinian adults are correspondingly guilty - regardless of whether they voted for Hamas, supported it, or did anything but exist in Gaza.

The Israelis, for their part, have signaled their willingness to go along with this framing of the discussion. We saw street demonstrators in Tel Aviv who were openly celebrating the deaths of

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Palestinian children, chanting ‘Tomorrow there’s no school in Gaza, they don’t have any children left’. (Olé, olé-olé-olé.) But their better counterparts in the Israeli camp have made the related charge that it is still Hamas, and the Palestinians of Gaza, who are responsible for the fate of the children of Gaza. By initiating the violence, they’re responsible for the retaliation. Which just brings the conversation full-circle, and back to the tit-for-tat we’re all familiar with from the media.

But what this dance also reveals to us is that both sides are willing to take, as read, certain assumptions about what violence can be legitimised.

That violence committed by the state is legitimate and permissible, and that non-state resistance is inherently unacceptable unless it is perfectly peaceful. But such an understanding only empowers the camp that with the standing army, and leaves the other side with little recourse but unconditional submission. For Palestinians to be non-violent means for them to accept whatever deal Israel puts on the table.

For some reason the international left supports this notion, perhaps believing the weight of international justice will guarantee Palestinian interests in lieu of armed resistance.

Either way, that’s not the reality of the situation on the ground.

Back in November 2012, as Hamas were stepping up their rocket attacks against Israel, a particular piece of artwork was being shared around on social networks: a hand, making the peace sign, superimposed over the Palestinian flag. It made no sense to align the Palestinians with peace at the same time they were attempting to kill Israeli citizens, and yet that’s exactly what their supporters were trying to do. Palestinians don’t want peace, they want a state. And as they’ve repeatedly demonstrated, they’re willing to use violence in order to achieve that outcome on favourable terms.

In principle, this is no different to what the Israelis are doing, who use the implied threat of force in all their interactions with Palestine. It’s like the old realpolitik mantra, courtesy of Carl von Clausewitz: war is a mere continuation of politics by other means.

But by framing the Palestinian struggle for independence as a peaceful movement, its supporters invest in a particular characterisation which grants Israel a sort of impunity. When stateless organisations act militarily they are terrorist groups, but when uniformed soldiers fire on suspects they are working in the security interests of their country. It’s how the US and its allies justified the invasion of Iraq, and it’s the justification

by which they used torture their enemies and anyone else who happened to get caught up in it all. By advancing this framework which reveres passive non-compliance, we sanction state violence while denying resistance groups any avenues of retaliation.

For their part, Israeli supporters speak continuously about the humanitarian restraint of the Israel Defence Forces (IDF): The Israelis have never attacked Palestinians without provocation, and they have always exercised restraint in their tactics; they do their utmost to limit casualties, and any collateral damage that results is because Palestinians shield their military assets under civilian infrastructure.

Each and every point can be contradicted. ‘Revisionist’ Israeli historians will tell you that from the country’s foundation its army was leading unprovoked attacks on Palestinian villages. In the Deir Yassin massacre of April 9, 1948, over a hundred civilians were killed in a ‘pre-emptive’ raid. Many more Palestinians, likewise, were driven from their homes under the threat of violence. Likewise, the Israelis can hardly talk of restraint when they use white phosphorus shells against Gazans (a practise they formally denied, before eventually admitting to), deploy indiscriminate artillery (including flechette

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shells) in built-up areas, and fire rockets on crowded markets in the midst of a ceasefire.

More substantially, though, this raises the question of what Israeli violence would look like if they weren’t exercising ‘restraint’. In an opinion piece for the Israeli National News, Moshe Feiglin advocated for a wholesale removal of Palestinians from Gaza in an operation that is tantamount to ethnic cleansing. Meanwhile Ron Dermer, a trusted advisor to Benjamin Netanyahu, argued that Israel was deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize for its ‘unimaginable restraint’. In the current round of violence the IDF bombed of a UN school where 3000 displaced Palestinians were being sheltered, an attack which even the US denounced. Restraint, in this sense, is not something that can be congratulated, so much as the minimum Israel can do to avoid further international condemnation.

Of course we can’t pretend that the Palestinians are shy of committing crimes in warfare. Hamas is accused of hiding military resources under civilian infrastructure, and therefore using their population as human shields in the conflict. They only started sending rockets against Israel because their tactic of sending in suicide

bombers was effectively disrupted.

And the Hamas charter quite literally calls for the ‘obliteration’ of Israeli Jews, which would be unconscionable even without the anti-Semitic overtones. Regardless, though, in no reasonable sense can it be claimed that Hamas represents an existential threat to Israel.

Israelis and their supporters, however, are not shy about talking about their capability of wiping Palestine off the map.

Palestinian terrorism is still inexcusable. But by virtue of treating Gaza as an ‘open air prison’ Israel fosters conditions that encourage terrorist violence. Palestinians are unfairly interned, threatened with violence, deprived of supplies, harassed at roadblocks, and shot at by soldiers.

They are victims of state terrorism, which manifests itself well beyond the threat of shells and bullets into an all-encompassing experience of living under occupation. Both sides employ violence and terror in the conflict, but it’s not about assigning blame so much as working out how to understand the situation.

If we delineate the conflict in terms of the power discrepancy between the two forces, then Israeli restraint and Palestinian violence become inseparable. The Hamas threat to individual Israelis is perfectly real, but their capability of waging mass destruction is heavily constrained

by virtue of their stateless existence.

Occupied by Israel, and cut off territorially, their threat of force is mostly a matter of posturing.

Meanwhile Israel’s capacity for violence is so profound that even they tacitly admit that they have the power to eliminate their enemies. It is the situation that determines the aggressive stance of Hamas, and also ensures that Israel’s occupation, as well as its ‘operations’, will always result in excessive collateral damage.

Israel and Palestine are not ‘as bad as one another’. Likewise, neither side is clear of conscious in this decades-long conflict. But if the conflict can be understood in terms where Palestinian terrorism is the inevitable response to Israeli occupation, and disproportionate casualties are similarly a result of a discrepancy in military might, then we can begin to talk about a solution which doesn’t seek to justify or condemn but bring about a lasting and mutually-beneficial compromise.

Justin believes that those who learn from history are doomed to make original mistakes.

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sorry, young man,there’s no skating here words by Toby Barnfield

T

he current issue of Australia’s leading skateboarding publication, SLAM magazine (#201 for the extremely curious), features a 22-page spread detailing the ‘incredibly productive’ trip of 14 professional and semi-professional skateboarders to Adelaide entitled Annihilating Adelaide.

While here, the group skated a great many quality street spots and, notably, described as the ‘destination of choice’, Adelaide’s City Skate Park.

Early next year, the City Skate Park is to be annihilated again, but, this time, in that undesirably literal sense. The park is to be closed in February 2015 pending demolition in order to make way for the University of South Australia’s Centre for Cancer Biology, a component of

what is to be the South Australian Health and Biomedical Precinct.

The loss of the 14-year-old skatepark is lamentable in itself, but the real concern for the skateboarding community is that no replacement park has been organised in the two years since its demolition was first forecast—despite assurance from Premier Jay Weatherill in June last year that there would indeed be a ‘replicated’ skatepark.

But since then, neither the funding for a replicated skatepark nor even a suitable location for one has been arranged, and this means that in seven months’ time there will be no skatepark in the CBD. This is of course is a considerable blow to the skateboarding community, to whom the park is an important, ‘pivotal space’, as Allan Mawer, of

the South Australian Skate Space Association (or SASSA), describes it.

City Skate: the short and long of it

Located on North Terrace, the iconic skatepark is central and easily accessible, being only a few hundred metres down from the train station, and a few hundred metres more from King William Street, Rundle Mall and numerous bus and tram stops—distance covered easily with a few kick push coasts, as Lupe so finely termed them.

Since the first surfer crawled out of the ocean onto smooth bitumen, skateboarding has been about riding the streets, and this nomadic tradition certainly remains strong;

IMAGE: YESHA JOSHI

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but a skatepark, at the end of the day, offers respite from the potential dangers, frustrations and exhilarations of skating the streets.

City Skate Park’s centrality has made it a place for the often wayward and disparate groups of skateboarders from all over the city to congregate, meet one another, skate together, and, as Kat Williams says, ‘hang out and have good times.’

Kat, an internationally-renowned skateboarder hailing from old Adelaide, remarked that City Skate Park ranked among her favourites, and lauded it for its safety. The park’s excellent lighting allows her to skate there in the evenings after work without concern, as she can see who is and is not around, reassured that if she injures herself there is always somebody either skating or passing by who can assist.

For the younger skaters, too, the skatepark has allowed them to hone their skills in an environment designed especially for them, accompanied by older skaters offering guidance, trick tips and numerous fist bumps—and all, as Kat says, in relative safety.

The skatepark is free from the interference of vehicles, meddlesome pedestrians, vocal members of the public, grumpy middleaged property owners, and, the worst of all, seedpods on the footpath which, catching in the wheel, upend skateboarders indiscriminately (the dreaded chalky as it is known).

Kat says that upward of ‘a hundred kids’ in any one week will skate the park, and ‘get their energy out’ doing ‘something they’re passionate about’.

It is a space where the rich culture of skateboarding can find expression: somewhere where the fascinating lingo is spoken fluently— switch backside tailslide, fakie 50-50, tré flip, laser flip, manual— and understood. Importantly, it is a space where skateboarders can feel a sense of belonging, something which for them, in this world hostile towards youths on loud transportation devices, is not easily found elsewhere.

Voted by the skaters themselves, City Skate Park holds an impressive four-and-a-half-star rating at skateboard.com.au, and has hosted over the years numerous competitions (memorably, the éS Game of Skate), and international demonstrations by teams of professionals (The Baker Skateboards team, for example, also memorable).

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Andy Walker, also of SASSA, and director of élan Skateboards (of whose team, incidentally, Kat Williams is a member), called the park ‘really unique’ owing to its strange layout with criss-crossing lines and an ‘odd’ but ‘cool’ combination of street obstacles and bowls and transition (or ramps for the uninitiated). The park is of high calibre, and has lasted well, and, as Andy points out, ‘it was good enough to put a second stage on [in 2003] so obviously the value is there.’

February’s closure, then, removes not only a worthy skatepark but an important social space from Adelaide’s skateboarding community.

skaters in the Streets!

It is sure to cause numerous problems. Without their designated space to congregate, these hundredplus skateboarders will be relegated either to the streets, or to smaller skateparks or to those more difficult to get to, at Flagstaff Hill, for example, or West Beach, long drives or bus trips away.

Much to the chagrin of certain parochial shop owners, the eminently skateable Victoria Square is likely to be skated more than it ever has been, and by more skaters.

“

‘When you’ve got skaters sort of clawing for space, then that is when you get the confrontation, and the community being unhappy, and you’ll get the traders that are upset ...and it’s also not safe for the people skating: it subjects them to confrontation that’s completely unnecessary, or it leads them to skate in unsafe places, places that unlike the City Skate Park don’t have [the appropriate] facilities.’

“

IMAGE: FLICKR.COM/EDWARDCONDE

The general unwillingness of the public, those paragons of open-mindedness, to accommodate skateboarders, is something which Tammy Franks, Greens member of the South Australian Legislative Council is concerned about in light of the skatepark’s closure:

The question, then, is why in the name of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater has the state government not organised a replacement for something so crucial to the skateboarding community?

The State Government: Pushing Mongo

The answer is that the state government has, as Andy Walker says, ‘definitely underestimated’ the importance of City Skate Park to the Adelaide skateboarding community.

Certainly the problem appears to be a lack of understanding. John Rau, South Australian Minister for Planning, in June of this year stated that Victoria Square would be a sufficient substitute for the City Skate Park. His comments showed a limited awareness of how significant a central skatepark is to a city’s skateboarders—or, as Ms Franks put it, more concisely, his comments were ‘stupid’.

‘Mr Rau,’ Ms Franks said, ‘seemed to think it was a local government only issue and [did] not understand

the ramifications of the state government building over the top of [the skatepark].’

The ramifications have been understood, on the other hand, by Ms Franks herself, who has been an active proponent of the Adelaide City Council’s #Sk8Relocate movement, creating a petition addressed to Mr Rau, and introducing, in June, a motion to the Legislative Council that called upon the government to urgently commit some funding towards a new skatepark, which was carried.

The Council, Andy Walker said, has been similarly ‘excellent’, taking a ‘really positive approach’, working alongside SASSA and the skateboarding community in general. The Council has for some time been requesting ever-elusive funding from the state government, which has, like a set of rusted ball bearings, been unconscionably slow to respond.

It is estimated that a new skatepark worthy to replace the current one would cost three million dollars to construct, and the Council, being a council, cannot foot, as they say,

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for the new skatepark will be announced soon.

The Lord Mayor Stephen Yarwood has stated that the Council would like it to be positioned in the Parklands somewhere, whilst SASSA believes that the riverbank would be ideal, ‘functional’, and a ‘win-win for everyone’, as it would ensure the new park is similarly central and easily accessible.

the entire bill. There is also a not unjustifiable feeling that as the state government is responsible for the displacement of the park in the first place, they should contribute at least some funds towards a new one.

The most impressive response has been from the Adelaide skateboarding community itself. Skate-shop owners, sponsored skateboarders, photographers and others heavily involved in Adelaide skateboarding banded together to form SASSA earlier this year, and in conjunction with the Council, organised a rally at the park as part of the #Sk8Relocate initiative, which was attended by hundreds of skateboarders offering support.

Their endeavours appear, finally, to have driven home the importance of relocating the skatepark to the state government: Mr Rau announced on August 11th that there will be ‘some funding’ committed in the indefinite future, and that some temporary infrastructure will be arranged.

This is, Ms Franks says, a ‘seismic shift’ in political terms, which sounds promising; but it is has

come ‘two years too late’. It does not remedy the now unavoidable problem that for many months the CBD will be without a permanent skatepark.

Estimated construction times for a new City Skate Park are five months at minimum, but with no funds officially committed, no location designated, no plans begun or finished, and with the current park open for only another seven months, time without a skatepark is guaranteed.

Kat Williams explained that for the skateboarders, a central location is a high priority, as is lighting, visibility, and security to allow for safe evening skating. It is uncertain whether the parklands can offer lighting and visibility to the same extent the riverbank could, but this all remains to be seen—or not seen, as the case may be.

SASSA also intend to stimulate wider ‘community involvement’ in the creation of the new skatepark, one of their ideas being to commission sculptures able to be skated, and set up as obstacles.

Andy Walker said that for all the frustration at losing the current park, there is some excitement at the prospect, now more likely than ever, of getting a new, updated, worldclass skatepark.

All parties feel the frustration keenly, as this fiasco, requiring substantial time and energy to resolve, would have been quite easily avoided had the state government not attempted to gloss over the obvious necessity in organising a replacement skatepark.

If the Skate government (to borrow Ms Franks’s fine malapropism) does not oil their bearings and pick up the pace, we can expect to see some larger, louder protests organised by SASSA, with the long, smooth steps of Parliament House becoming skateboarders’ new destination of choice.

The Not-TooDistant Future

[For the socially-conscious, here a petition you can and may sign: http://www.change.org/en-AU/ petitions/hon-john-rau-relocate-theadelaide-skate-park-sk8relocate)

Luckily, things are not altogether hopeless. The Adelaide City Council has been in contact with SASSA and Renewal SA (who is redeveloping the riverbank area) and it is quite possible that a site

Toby Barnfield is goofy.

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The Rise & Fall of the Manic Pixie

Dream Girl words by Emma Doherty art by Sharmonie Cockayne

T

he year 2007 was a hell of a year for film. No Country for Old Men came out, as did The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. But most importantly (to this article), film critic Nathan Rabin came up with a name for a certain kind of female character that crops up in films.

While not used frequently among the Normal Actual People community, the term ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ has since been employed by film critics and geeks alike to describe female characters that function as one-dimensional love interests. Rabin coined the term in a review of the film Elizabethtown: ‘The Manic Pixie Dream Girl exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.’

In a recent article for Salon.com, Rabin stated he regretted creating the term as it has led to sloppy journalism and the mislabelling of quirky female characters. Some journalists have cited characters like Annie Hall as typical Manic Pixie Dream Girls.

Annie is bubbly and dresses charmingly unconventionally. This on its own might show she’s a Manic Pixie. However, she also has her own separate desires

and ambitions. To label her a Manic Pixie is almost as lazy as writing a Manic Pixie character.

Manic Pixies and how to find them

A film like Elizabethtown is fabulous if you want to spend an hour and a half staring at Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst looking super hot, and absolutely terrible if you like your female romantic interests to seem like flawed human beings with back stories. In Elizabethtown we have a depressed young man (Bloom) trapped in a passionless lifestyle. He meets an effervescent air stewardess (Dunst) on a flight back to his hometown. The Kirsten Dunst character immediately senses the Orlando Bloom character’s intense melancholy and pretty soon she is chatting to him in a relentlessly cheerful manner and hand-drawing him a map of Elizabethtown, all in an effort to get him to live in the moment and embrace life to its fullest, and just listen to that one song by The Smiths because it’ll change his life etc.

We don’t just see this bubbly character in Elizabethtown.

The Manic Pixie crops up again and again as a romantic figure in films, each incarnation more of an irritating free spirit than the last. In Along Came Polly, Jennifer Aniston not only teaches Ben Stiller to get over a breakup, but also to take massive risks that he has never before taken in his life, for example learning to dance and…eating Moroccan food! She also has a pet ferret, presumably because this is the kind of pet that free spirits gravitate towards. Apparently free spirits have never heard the horrific stories about ferret bites.

Manic Muses

At its core the Manic Pixie trope relies on the notion that a woman is there to inspire great men to do great things. This notion is not a new one. The term ‘muse’ comes from Ancient Greek mythology. The nine muses were said to be goddesses who each had powers to inspire in specific areas of the fields of art and science. It’s interesting that all nine of these inspiring deities were said to be female. It does make one think when considering the similar inspirational role of the

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Manic Pixie Sexism

Anita Sarkeesian, in a series of videos for Bitch Magazine, has pointed out the inherent sexism in the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope. Basically the Manic Pixie exists in order to spur on the central character, the male character, onto bigger greater things. She’s put in place to nurture the male protagonist, to clear the cobwebs out of his stagnant life and to help him fulfil his life’s ambitions.

In Sarkeesian’s words, ‘the Manic Pixie perpetuates the myth of women as caregivers at our very core, that we can go “fix” these sad lonely men so that they can go “fix the world”.’

The important thing to remember about a Manic Pixie is that she never seems to have any dreams or flaws of her own. She exists merely to create positive change in the life of the central character. In fact, she is so one-sided that, within the frame of the movie, she functions more as a plot device than as a character in her own right.

modern-day figure, Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Perhaps the notion of a woman as an inspirer, rather than the inspired, has always been a popular notion because it puts forth a notion of women as those who merely inspire action, and men as those who act.

If you’re interested in seeing a film that heavily features a woman-as-muse cliché then I highly recommend you watch the beginning of Xanadu. A lonely-man artist with late 1970s hair, Sunny Malone, sits drawing a picture of a beautiful woman. He stares at it for what feels like an entire minute. ‘Ah, what the hell,’ he says, as he rips the portrait to pieces and meaningfully tosses it out the window. ‘Guys like me shouldn’t dream anyway.’

Poor Sunny is experiencing some intense melancholy.

The next thing you know a mural of nine babelicious babes in Ancient Greek costume comes to life, and the one that’s Olivia Newton-John decides that she is going to help Sunny reach his full artistic potential, and she’s going to do it in roller-skates. I’m being serious. She wears roller-skates for the entirety of the film, and it is never explained. I only recommend watching a little bit of it because the horrendous dialogue combined with unexplained roller-skates really start to wear you down after a while.

Reductive gender-based tropes exist on both sides of the equation, however. ‘The Arthouse Stud Monkey’, another delightfully named trope, has male characters being used reductively and as plot devices. The trope, coined by critic Leslie Felperin, is expanded on by The Guardian film critic Catherine Shoard as being a male character who is ‘well-groomed, sensitive, cultured and endlessly selfless in bed’.

This kind of a character exists as a relationship superhero, and fulfils the female protagonist emotionally and sexually, all with little to no emotional baggage.

The most current example of this stock character is in the recent movie The Other Woman, where from the very beginning of the film Cameron Diaz is set up with a thoroughly nice nice guy, who is not only ruggedly handsome and dreamy-eyed, but could also kill something with his bare hands if he had to.

There does seem to be a larger number of over-idealised females in films than over idealized males, and this is perhaps testament to the larger percentage of male screenwriters who were and are still working in Hollywood. I doubt the use of these plot-device characters will ever change, though. Film is an art of escapism, and for all the brilliantly written characters of both genders, there’s always going to be an audience of people who want to see their ideal woman or man portrayed on screen, realistic or not.

Emma is a professional grumpy person and green tea enthusiast.

You can read her sporadically-posted reviews of cult movies at http://wallflowerfilmreviews.tumblr.com/, if you really want.

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artwork

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vu anh

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tuan le My name is Vu Anh Tuan Le. I’m originally from Vietnam and I’m proud to be an architecture student of the University of Adelaide. Having had a passion for art from a young age, I decided to find my own way to express feelings and ideas through my drawing. I always practise, because I believe ‘practise makes perfect’.

Before, I used to look at my favourite artists as role models, and strive to be like them; but I realised I needed to develop my own art language, so I created an art style to call my own.

I draw whenever I have free time or when I’m sad, because that’s when I can express my feeling at its best – that’s the reason why my artworks always contain shadow or darkness. I love drawing and I hope I can share this passion with other people as well.

Don’t underestimate yourself. When it comes to art, anyone can find the way to express their feelings.

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science

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Redefining Intelligence

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Lauren Fuge investigates really fucking smart slime

Lauren Fuge has been outsmarted by a slime mould art by Carly Harvy

W

e aren’t even halfway through the semester, and already my brain is slowly melting.

But even though my memory is getting increasingly worse, at least I know that I’m intellectually capable of passing my subjects. With our brains, language capabilities and capacity for logical thought and decision-making, humans are (generally) agreed to be intelligent.

But what is intelligence? How do we define it? Can an organism have a memory if it doesn’t have a brain?

Apparently, it can. A brainless slime mould is showing us all up; it’s able to solve mazes by using a kind of spatial memory system, as shown by several studies over the past decade.

‘Slime mould’ is a broad term for brainless, single-celled creatures without nervous systems. They reproduce using spores, and are very small, measuring only a few centimetres across. Even though they look like fungi, they’re actually classified as protists—the group of the natural world where all the things that don’t really fit anywhere else are put. There are over 900 species, but

Physarum polycephalum is the kind mainly involved in the research.

In the wild, P. polycephalum tends to ooze through life, rummaging through leaf litter in search of bacteria, fungal spores and other microbes, which it absorbs like a blob-monster out of a cheesy 1950s horror flick.

No joke, it would actually make a pretty terrifying movie villain. Even the way it moves would weird most people out. The organism is made up of different sections of pulsating tissue, which expand and contract constantly, similar to our muscle cells. Each of the different areas respond independently to their environment—to food, heat, or light—and so the rate of pulsation in each area is different, and the net movement is what causes the slime mould to ooze along.

As it moves, it leaves behind a thick trail of translucent slime. This slime is used as a lubricant for sliding across surfaces, but researchers at the University of Sydney and Université Toulouse III have theorised that it actually has another, cooler purpose: it acts an external spatial memory, reminding the slime mould of where it’s already been.

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To test this hypothesis, researchers took to the lab and set up a maze for the slime mould to solve. The maze was essentially just a Y-shaped obstacle with food placed at either end of the branch. When the researchers laid a slime trail directly between P. polycephalum and the food, 39 times out of 40, the slime mould detected the slime, thought they’d already been that way, and so travelled all the way around the obstacle in order to get to the food.

In the second experiment, researchers used the ‘U-shaped trap problem’, a classic problem designed to test the independent navigational skills of robots.

But in this case, food was placed behind the U-shaped trap in order to determine if slime moulds can map and respond to their environment. Two trials were run: one in which the slime mould was allowed to move on a regular surface, and one in which the surface was already covered with slime similar to their own, effectively making it impossible for them to use slime as a memory device. When they were allowed to use their own slime, 96% of the moulds reached the food within the allotted time. Only 33% reached it without using slime, so the researchers concluded that P. polycephalum definitely uses its extracellular trail as a guide.

The interesting thing is that slime moulds have been around for a very long time—at least 600 million years, and probably as long as 1 billion years. Back then, no organism had brains or nervous systems, and yet the slime mould managed to evolve an efficient way to function. Their slime is the first example of a memory system in a brainless organism, and it supports the

theory that memory might have initially evolved from a feedback network of chemicals. Long ago, organisms may have used external chemical memories before internal ones developed.

Navigating a maze is impressive and all, but slime moulds actually have a range of applications because they’re capable of solving even more complex spatial problems. In one study, they recreated Tokyo’s railway network in miniature, as well as the major highways of Canada and the U.K. They didn’t do this on a whim— researchers placed morsels of food in the same relative positions as big cities and urban areas. The slime mould naturally wanted to get to all the food in the most efficient way possible, so it didn’t crawl around to each bit one by one. It spread itself out in every direction, growing thinner and stretching further until it was just a network of interconnected branches, linking the food together.

Essentially, it mimicked what the engineers of transport systems do: it found the shortest, most economical and most efficient routes possible. Researchers in the U.K. have even proposed that we should use slime moulds to help humans plan future transport construction.

Imagine how cool it would be to ride on a train knowing that a slimy, brainless organism planned your route.

Lauren thinks it’s unfair how when slime moulds stretch themselves thin, they’re ‘amazing’ and ‘intelligent’, but when she stretches herself too thin, she just ends up crying in the shower.

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peter drew street art extraordinaire

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words by max cooper

J

ust six years ago, one of South Australia’s most acclaimed street artists, Peter Drew, graduated from Adelaide with a degree in Psychology and Philosophy, and was preparing to begin postgraduate study. Now, in an entirely different profession than his intended career path, Drew is producing art for both the gallery (his work has been exhibited at the Art Gallery of South Australia) and urban landscapes. Whilst most South Australians can recognise his iconic Einsten On A Bike, or his pixelated emoticon faces, his art also adorns the streets of Berlin, Glaslow, London, Melbourne, New York and Sydney. Currently, he is pooling his energies into producing work that prompts the community to think about asylum seekers and immigration in the context of the Australian national identity.

For how he got from A to B, some might not see the link. Drew says ‘I was drawing and painting while I was at uni and it just took over’. Though he made it through a semester of postgrad, he ended up following his artistic inclination because ‘really, what’s the difference between a postgraduate and an undergraduate Philosophy degree unless you want to be a professional philosopher?’

Since deciding to pursue his art, Peter’s style has taken a few twists and turns, and he says ‘I can’t speak for it all the time, but at the moment it’s definitely got a political thrust to it’. He definitely has more playful pieces, though, – for example, an entire soliloqy of Hamlet retold in pasteup emoticon figures – and this

sensibility persists into his more political work. In talking about his work and his plans for the future, he said that he was interested in exploring national identity further, but that he planned on ‘confronting it with a lighter tone than you might expect’. For Drew, in exploring an issue like this, it’s important ‘to approach it in a way that’s not too sanctimonious, because national identity is something that you want to be able to sort of get into without it just being this huge guilt trip’.

His most recent project certainly shows such an approach: Drew connected, through the community group Circle of Friends, with

asylum seekers held at Inverbrackie Detention Centre in the Adelaide Hills. He provided them with sketchbooks and, after they had a chance to fill them with drawings and stories, he took them and turned them into posters. One such asylum seeker was a man called Ali, whose family fled Afghanistan for Pakistan, ‘till his brother was killed by the Taliban and so his mother told him “you have to try to get out” and so he came here.’ Drew told me how he ‘couldn’t think of a more obvious case of someone being a refugee, not being safe where they live’.

When I asked Drew about the use of asylum seekers’ own words and art in

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depicting their stories, he explained how important it was to this project ‘for their stories and their voices to convey to the people what they’re going through, rather than someone else speaking for them’. On the more political side of this project, Drew told me how ‘a lot of political art falls on its face because it’s just instructive or didactic’ and ‘just tells people what to do’. For him, this is ‘the epitome of sophomoric or undergraduate thinking’.

Another stridently political example of Drew’s recent work is a poster reading ‘Stop the Boats! To avoid Aboriginal Genocide’. Though it’s a markedly different tone to his work directly with the asylum seekers, his purpose is ‘using irony and humour to draw people in’. This focus on immigration mirrors the political focus on the topic, but Peter sees the role of artists as a part of this. For him, artists provide what ‘is missing from the political debate a lot. People sort of say “this is in violation of international law”, but who cares?’

Though this somewhat tongue-incheek phrasing is intended to be provocative, he quickly shifted to a moving and hope-filled explanation that ‘what does move me is the idea that we are Australians and there

are things within that that we can actually be proud of – such as all the diversity we have in this country – and our immigration policy needs to reflect that’.

This is an especially relevant attitude at a time of growing dissatisfaction and disillusionment with the political process and parties in Australia.

Though he admits it ‘is not the only job’, Drew tells me that ‘it is a major job of artists to make the meaning in the world felt’. He clarified that art that does this is able to ‘translate very difficult things into very easily felt objects and images’. This job falls to artists, he says, because ‘politicians can’t do that – they’d just fuck it up with really tired phrases’.

Though we’ve turned to quite an abstract angle on his work, Drew doesn’t try and maintain any pretence of an artist as a free spirit guided only by their passions. He explains that this political role has depth, and ‘really there’s a lot of strategy behind it – actually knowing the effect an image is going to have in manipulating an audience’. He says this is true of any art, no matter the medium, and that in good art often ‘you can see what they’re doing, they’re tricking you into feeling a certain way, but if

they’re good enough it doesn’t even matter if you see the strategy’.

And Drew is certainly conspicuous in some of his approaches – he enjoys producing street art precisely because of ‘the freedom of it’. I asked him if he would consider working outside of that, even exhibiting in a gallery again, and he explained that ‘there needs to be something I couldn’t do out on the street, and my mind is definitely geared towards doing stuff on the street right now’.

Find out more about Peter Drew’s work at www.peterdrewarts.com/, or see the University’s exhibition of some of his collected work for SALA until September 29th. Find out more about Circle of Friends at www.hillscircleoffriends.org/.

columns

hitch-hike if you must

miriam crosby is crazy and she has some tips ART BY JACQUELINE MCALLISTER

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Warning: Do not continue reading if you do not have thumbs as this article will appear discriminatory and rather useless.

misadventures. I’m not advocating it, but if you’re even slightly considering jumping in a stranger’s car, maybe read this list first.

The phrase — ‘Never get in a car with strangers, even if they have sweets’ — seems to be permanently etched into my memory. And that’s saying something; there are very few things that are etched into my memory.

Equally important things never seem to stick — passwords, historical dates or where on earth my key have gotten for example. So I’m thinking this collection of words might be rather important. But I found myself choosing to ignore this unquestionably important piece of life advice. It used to be important. To baby Miriam.

To the Miriam that lived and breathed for [20] years before her European adventure. To the Miriam with money. It didn’t seem as applicable to the Miriam that was attempting to visit every corner of Europe whilst being an impoverished student.

1. Before you embark on your hitch-hiking journey, ensure you have and hold respect for opposable thumbs.

Through sickness and in health, till death do you part, look after them, they are the key to your successful journey. Well, them and a very silly hat.

2. Take a tent. Tents are brilliant. If you find yourself stuck at a gas station at 1am, in theory of course, you can, in not an altogether legal manner, camp behind the bushes.

3. Look like a backpacker. Preferably a poor, well-travelled vagabond who has showered at least once in the last month.

4. Don’t turn down kindness, especially in the form of water.

Or the form of free rooms, entry to bars, oysters, or rides (be it by car, truck, boat, push bike, motorbike or piggyback).

5. You may feel like a wild animal after a couple of days travelling, but do not succumb to hitch-hiking in a pack. People’s kindness can only extend so far (usually to one or two people at a time).

6. Pack as light as possible. Post it on ahead of you if you must, just don’t find yourself carrying 6 months of winter clothes around southern Italy in the peak of Summer.

7. Bring a map. Not a phone or a tablet or your memory, a map. A scribble-on, bend-rip-tear, hang-up-on-yourwall-when-you-get-home kind of map.

8. Make the most of your pen license and carry a permanent marker for the construction of your all important, ‘TAKE ME TO HAMBURG I PROMISE I WON’T KILL YOU’ signs. Handy markers also come with the added bonus of enabling the inevitable drawing on your travel buddy’s sleeping face.

9. Don’t underestimate the value of a water bottle.

10. There is no such thing as language barriers. There is only a rather flimsy fence called pride. Kick it down and march on over to the other side, safe in the knowledge that Grandma’s talent for charades was hereditary.

11. Toilet paper. Take it.

12. If you see someone who looks remotely as exhausted and bedraggled as you, carrying their world on their back like a turtle, offer them food… even your chocolate. They’re family.

In the midst of these attempts, I met an equally crazy lady named Virginia in the cheapest hostel in Ireland. Armed with 15 days, 15 euros a day, a bright orange tent called Cameron, my unrealistic optimism and her optimistic realism, we set out on our adventure. Incredulity, stupidity and hilarity ensued as we hitch-hiked across Italy, all the way up Croatia, up through Switzerland, across Austria and then back down through France. We learned a few (alright, a lot) of things along the way.

Herein is a list of the most important things to consider before your sub-conscious even begins to think about embarking on your own highly dangerous hitch-hiking

Miriam once fit 20 marshmallows in her mouth and is now the ruling champion of Chubby Bunnies. When she’s not defending her title, she drinks tea and reads way past her bedtime -- because she’s a rebel.

columns

emma’s dilemmas

Life advice from someone who probably needs to see a therapist ART BY SHARMONIE COCKAYNE

Hello Emma, Given what feels like an increasingly politicized atmosphere in Australia at the moment, I would like to do something meaningful, which will help motivate young people to become less apathetic about politics and more ‘switched on’. But how do I go about making political statements that will win people over to my views, rather than alienate or just plain confuse them?

-Harry, 23.

Oh excellent! Here is what you should do: 1. Get some political material from any political party that does not share your ideology. Hurl this into a bonfire. Alternatively, you could use a cigarette lighter plus trashcan if you are a little pressed for time.

Personally I prefer to set fire to posters, as they are infinitely more burnable than, say, books.

2. Go on a well-respected political panel show and chant things while waving banners. Make sure the slogans rhyme. This is an essential step in contributing to healthy political discussion.

3. Stand in the middle of Rundle Mall and yell things at passersby. Preferably political things; however it is a good thing to do in and of itself.

4. If all else fails you may choose frequent (approx.

10-15 times per day) reposting of things you agree with on Facebook.

What up homie? (No, I’m not a hip 30-something dad) Whenever my ‘friends’ and I conduct ourselves in the vicious sport of Mariokart, they always have the indecency to choose inevitable doom and tears Rainbow Road. How do I eloquently tell them they are the sole reason for global warming existing and the reason why 30% of all curse words were invented?

-Some guy called Andy Nguyen Andy, It worries me that your incredibly addled understanding of climate change and its cause and effects is still more of an understanding of climate change than our current government will ever possess.

P.S. have you considered using less adjectives so that

your meaning becomes clearer/people don’t get a migraine trying to decipher what the fuck you’re on about? Try reducing the adjectives, Andy. Reducing the adjectives is an option.

Emma, I need your help! I’m about to go on a first date and I’m totally freaking out. What would you do in my position?

Sally, 18.

Take a mild form of sedative. This is fine for calming any of those pre-date jitters, provided you don’t have a problem with slurred speech. Or not driving.

What I’m also about to suggest is entirely optional and your own choice depending on how you view your own body, male chauvinism and the patriarchy etc…

Wax your vag (if you’re into it).

Hi Emma, I don’t know anything about student politics but I would like to get involved this year, preferably in a leadership capacity. How should I go about doing this?

-William, 22.

Blackmail. Bribes. Form an unholy alliance with other people who feel that the best way to get into positions of power is through extortion and exploiting the weaknesses of others.

But most importantly, believe in yourself.

43 PAGE

reviews

literature

music

on dit 79.6

colourblind avenue Reviewed by ruby-rose niemann

44 PAGE

S. Deere, E. Flux & R. Kennet-lister Reviewed by angus dickson Blowing the dust off this class vintage copy of the University of Adelaide’s venerable magazine,1 the giant, fluffy monster/rocket-ship on the cover is vaguely reassuring in the unstinting ability of On Dit editors to run marginally unsettling covers in no way related to the magazine’s content.

Inside, the content again reassuringly resembles the series of blog posts2 mixed with valiant attempts at journalism3 that we know and love. But something is different. Something that leaves my modern day consumption of On Dit4 feeling vacant and soulless. Then, after re-reading ‘Coopers Day’ by an oh so young Galen Cuthbertson and its twenty-three footnotes, it became clear. Contextually unnecessary footnotes are the heart and soul of a magazine. Bring back the footnotes5.

1 Read: Flicking through Issuu, because reading back issues of student publications is better than corporate law.

2 How could we ever forget Rhia Rainbow’s controversial ‘Leggings are Not Pants’ and ensuing shit-storm. Or at least shit-flinging.

3 Why am I writing this? And why are they publishing it?

4 Let’s be honest, 3 years is an eternity. Where were you 3 years ago?

5 Please?

Avenue are a band of very technically talented musicians, and their new EP Colourblind is a beautifully produced record filled with very well constructed songs. It’s not an exciting EP and it doesn’t have a whole lot of edge, but it’s sure to net them a following from people who enjoy sweet, easy radio-rock.

They play a very sweet, shiny radio-friendlyform of rock, complete with high, clear, slightly disinterested vocals. The EP, which is their second, is more background music than anything (especially not something that will likely stick in your head), but it’s by no means a bad record.

I don’t know of anyone remembers In Fiction (and I’m probably showing my age here), but Avenue are very similar to those guys. Very talented, very easy, and only a little bit dull.

The title track is probably the best song on the EP, so check out that one if you want a taste.

Review Score: 6/10

reviews

cafÉ

film

45 PAGE

larry & ladd regent arcade, adelaide Reviewed by jenna barrott Located in Regent Arcade, Larry & Ladd is Adelaide’s latest addition to the flourishing boutique coffee house scene.

There is no evidence of the daily grind beyond the glass exterior. Instead, patrons are greeted to Larry & Ladd’s charming black walls (which, in collaboration with the crew behind CityMag, are swathed in magazines to peruse and purchase) and communal wooden tables, all of which exudes a warm and cozy atmosphere.

Upon entry, my friendly server pointed my attention to the daily offerings of fresh gourmet pastries and scrolls. The small but enticing menu of vegetarian options, such as ciabatta sandwiches with sheep’smilk cheese and orange aioli, were set at surprisingly affordable prices ($5). Twirling my spoon through the gorgeous leaf-like pattern atop my skim cappuccino, I was astounded at the perfect silky texture of the foam. The coffee itself had not a hint of bitterness; instead it was creamy and delightful until the last drop.

Admittedly, I initially wondered how ‘another trendy coffee shop’ could possibly set itself apart. However Larry & Ladd proves itself worth the visit, with its humble pricing, generous array of magazines, perfect coffee and friendly service.

The Amazing Spider Man 2 marvel reviewed by lauren copland CGI laden. Cheap laughs. Gratuitous car crashes. Atmospheric soundtrack.

These are at the forefront of the second instalment of the Amazing Spider Man. The film relies heavily on special effects, with long sequences depicting Spider-Man being thrown about like a sack of potatoes whilst the city is destroyed around him.

Interestingly, what I find works best about Marvel comics and their films is the humanity that is displayed amidst supernatural and superhuman settings.

Amongst unbelievable scenarios, the characters are dealing with day-to-day issues such as the desire to feel needed, not wanting to die and navigating relationships. Not even superheros are immune from the challenges of humanity.

The story follows the death of Norman Osborn who bequeaths Oscorp to his surviving son and friend of Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), Harry Osborn (Dane DeHann). Harry learns he’s dying from an incurable hereitary disease and devotes himself to finding a cure. He finds one, but it results in devastating and life-altering consequences.

All in all a good film, not perfect, but worth taking a look at.

Image: flickr.com/bagogames

regulars

diversions 46 PAGE

FIND-A-WORD

STUDENT POLITICS THEMED, BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ENOUGH OF THAT IN THIS MAGAZINE ALREADY.

regulars

Faux-diacs

with Mystic Marge

Aries: In an attempt to broaden your literacy horizons, you will purchase a box of Reader’s Digest condensed books for $3 at a garage sale. You will learn a lot about weird romance fiction from the early 90s, but not a lot else. Cut your losses and go back to the ‘young adult’ section.

Taurus: Your career as a midnight gardener/petty felon will come to an awkward end when one of your neighbours finally catches you breaking into their front yard and stealing succulent cuttings at 11pm. At least you went down fighting, copper.

Gemini: You sense change in the air and know it’s time: it’s time to make your move on that special someone you’ve been secretly in love with for the past six months. You will make Eye Contact Lasting Over Three Seconds, pat yourself on the back for a job well done, and start planning possible names for your future offspring.

Cancer: After a particularly inspiring episode of ‘Save with Jamie’, you decide to invent a student-friendly version of risotto, replacing Arborio rice with the normal kind, chicken stock and white wine with water and goon, and

targedoku

Find as many words as you can using the letters on the Sudoku grid. Words must be four letters or more and include the highlighted letter. Use the letters to solve the Sudoku (normal Sudoku rules apply). There are no repeated letters.

Clue: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

L

T L

O

T

Y

R O

L

E

A

S

T

I

A

R O L O

E

R L

T

I

S

L

T

T Y

S

parmesan with whatever that concealed white lump in the back of your fridge was. See your doctor.

Leo: You will write a highly coloured strongly worded letter to Adelaide Metro after the bus in the 15 minute ‘go-zone’ you were waiting for takes 45 minutes to arrive. This will achieve nothing, but you will take satisfaction in knowing your online complaint form Stuck It To The Man. Virgo: With the anniversary of your birth approaching, you decide the time is finally ripe to start a diary documenting your illustrious life. This idea is abandoned when you remember that the highlight of your week was finding an abandoned loaf of bread outside Coles and getting a clean STD result on your most recent test.

Libra: Your parents finally catch on to your lucrative sideline of ‘shopping’ at their house and selling the goods onto your peers when your goodbye hug gives away the tinned vegetables, shampoo and prescription medicine bottles you have stuffed down your jumper. CUT AND RUN. Scorpio: You will realize that you have a drinking problem when, a bottle and a half later on a Wednesday night, you find yourself weeping to the Eurythmics, ironing and shouting ‘she has no business wearing white!’ to the Say Yes To The Dress re-runs on ChannelGO. When you reach rock bottom, you can only go up, right?

Sagittarius: You will try to ‘de-clutter and cleanse’ your existence with a possession purge. This will prove a poor choice when, hours later, you realize you had a deep emotional connection with that old Mystery Date board game and parrot-appliqued jumper, and that material possessions really DO make you happy.

Capricorn: Hoping for a successful end to your Saturday night, you will bother to remove your now-lush body hair, and wear some underwear without visible staining/holes.

This was foolish – you’ll never pick up now!

Aquarius: After failing to make any red-hot matches during your most recent bout of Tinder, you will attempt to fill the empty void inside you with an entire packet of mint slice biscuits and half a bag of compound cooking choc chips. You will throw up a little bit, but still feel strangely fulfilled.

Pisces: Another cardiac arrest scare after running for a bus will reignite your decision to go to the gym ‘get back into shape’. This will extend as far as buying some more $12 leggings from K-Mart and a commitment to ‘just thinking really active thoughts’.

47 PAGE

gastronomies

microwave mug brownie

48 PAGE

words and image by nicole parker

• 2 tbsp of salted butter (or if you don’t have salted butter, just use butter or unsalted butter. Because honestly who actually follows the recipes when it comes to the type of butter?)

• ¼ cup of brown sugar • 2 tbsp of cocoa powder • 1 large egg • 1 tsp vanilla essence • ¼ cup of flour • A pinch of baking powder • Chocolate chips (I would suggest 2 tbsp but I always end up using 4tbsp, plus, who am I to dictate your chocolate chip consumption?)

W

ho knew three simple words could bring so much joy? And I’m not talking about that ‘I love you’ shit… although you will most ikely be saying that after putting this recipe to use.

Microwave. Mug. Brownie.

Now I know that almost every lazy baker has already read most of the existing microwave mug recipes out there, and you have quite possibly even tried some of these recipes, in which case you were either pleasantly surprised or utterly disappointed. If you were pleasantly surprised, I shouldn’t have to try too hard at talking you into this recipe. And if you were utterly disappointed, please don’t give up hope! It tis possible to make a delicious brownie with half the ingredients and half the mess (it is literally made in a mug, so your only using ONE bowl… I mean mug), with the plus side of taking under 5 minutes to prepare and cook. So, let’s get this started.

1. Add the butter and brown sugar to a large mug.

2. Heat in microwave for around 40-45 seconds, remove and stir mixture ‘till combined.

3. Now mix the egg and vanilla essence using a fork, once combined, stir in the flour, cocoa, baking powder and the chocolate chips.

3. Mix well then put back into the microwave to cook for around 1 ½ to 2 minutes (it really just depends on the microwave, just keep an eye on the brownie, otherwise it will be overcooked.)

4. Now that your brownie is cooked, add a scoop of vanilla or (my personal favourite) cookies n cream ice-cream topped with extra choc-chips. And if you want to make it even more amazing add some chocolate or caramel sauce.

So there you have it: a delicious, easy, quick and affordable dessert to enjoy on those late study nights!

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