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Expendable is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright © 2019 by Adell Ryan All Rights Reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher and the copyright owner constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights. Published by Upside Down Red Umbrella First Edition: August 2019 Cover Art by Upside Down Red Umbrella Edited by G. Surley
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DEDICATION Adversity. We all face it in various ways throughout our lives. Reflecting on how this series started and what has kept the ball rolling and gaining momentum, I determined it boils down to just that – adversity. A short time before I began my journey as an author, I contracted a life-threatening illness. I was bedridden and miserable, and to help pass the time, I read. A lot. Then, a switch flipped in my head, and I decided I wanted to write books like the ones I was reading. From my bed-turned-office, I started writing. Through the challenges of that illness, the seed was planted. Adversity watered it too. While I was still very much in recovery, Hurricane Michael hit, causing destruction all over our area. Our home was lost. In the year that followed, I published Broken, Resistant, and now Expendable — with the latter going live a mere couple of months after our damaged home was officially removed from our property. It was also during that time our family became full-time RVers — which is a challenge in and of itself. Yes, adversity has fueled this series. But moreso, it was my determination to look Bad Luck in its cold, dark gaze… and refuse to become its victim. While I am certainly thankful for the individuals who have supported me from the beginning and cheered me on each step of this difficult path — this time, my dedication goes to the cards I’ve been dealt. At first glance, they weren’t very good hands… but with a bit of strategy, determination, and cunning… …I won these rounds.
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CONTENTS Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Contents Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four About the Author
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PROLOGUE Zinna’s com-device buzzed against her neck, and she flipped up the optical display. ‘Unknown’ flashed across the screen. For a moment she considered dismissing the call. However, unknown numbers were rare these days, and curiosity overpowered her indifference. “Zinna Roth,” she answered. “Zee,” Roux’s cocky voice reverberated through the speaker. A sound of indignation bubbled in her chest at the nickname she’d repeatedly told him not to use, but an anxiousness overrode the irritation; Zinna hadn’t heard from Roux since the lock-in at the Exam Center. As soon as everyone had gotten out of there, the first call she’d made was to set Roux up with a temp position for the National Agglomeration Bureau’s Eastern Region sweep. The NAB was grossly understaffed and had been taking anyone over the age of eighteen, male or female, with neutral or high scores. Information on whether or not he’d been assigned the job — or was successful — had been buried beneath the mound of shit she was dealing with between the media’s slow leak of details about The Program and covering her ass with the Commission. “Are you going to tell me why you’re calling, or are you going to continue making me listen to you breathe?” she groused. Roux chuckled, enjoying the rare upper hand. “Mm, I have a special package for you. This time, there’s a condition.”
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“Why am I not surprised? With you there’s always a caveat.” Zinna’s hand mussed her wayward faux hawk. Seven o’clock was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this type of arrogance; Roux carried a presumptuous attitude with him no matter the time of day. “Well then… spit it out.” “Full indemnity from The Pro—” Zinna cackled. “Roux, Roux, Roux. Nobody but the board and consortium members get asylum from The Program.” “Guess it depends on how important the girl is to you.” Roux’s voice held nothing but smugness and confidence; she envisioned him shrugging those massive shoulders as he issued his threat. “Zee, you got me in way deeper than stated in our original contract. Agree to my terms, or find someone else to do the job.” “Terms… as in plural?” Zinna scoffed. “Yes, Zinna. Terms, plural. To start, indemnity from The Program for the same name listed as exempt from testing in my original contract. Then, after the package is delivered, I expect a working position for the Central Region’s Phase Three. Last, after this next job, Fen and Warrick need to be replaced; they’re getting too curious and sloppy.” “Is that all?” Zinna mocked. Impassive to her disparagement, Roux doesn’t bother to humor her with a response. “Sorry, but I’m calling your bluff. If you break contract, you know what’ll happen… and something tells me you’ll do anything to make sure that’s not the case.” Roux’s calculative silence preceded the delivery of his next blow: “The girl is pregnant.” Zinna’s face drained, the blood rushing in tingles to her fingers and toes. Never in the country’s history have two “extreme” Lows mated. Ever. Zinna’s rash 7
decision to implant Thessaly Allifair with another’s sperm worked. She couldn’t believe it. They’d tried a few times before with regular Lows, but the pairing always resulted in miscarriage before true implantation actually stuck. “One more thing…” — Roux’s voice dropped low — “you’re right… I’ll do anything to make sure this game you’re playing swings in my favor. Even if that means removing Thessaly from the game board completely.” In the background, Zinna heard a shrill, female cry, and all sovereignty left her system. “I-is that her? What are you doi—” “I’m doing what it takes to make sure you play by my rules.” “Roux, she needs to b—” “Don’t worry, Zee. If you keep your promises, I’ll be choosier with how I treat her in the meantime.” After a steadying breath, Zinna gathered herself and outlined an ultimatum: “I’ll work on the indemnity clause and assign you a position in Phase Three. However, Fen and Warrick stay… they’re my hires, not yours. Give me your current location, and I’ll send them over in a transport vehicle right away. Deliver Thessaly to the facility immediately. ” “Care to tell me where exactly this Phase Three facility is? Oh, and don’t bother calling them; I’ve already taken care of it. They should be here any minute.” “I’m entering the coordinates into their van’s navigational system right now. When Fen and Warrick get there, all they’ll need to do is activate the route.”
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CHAPTER ONE *Julian*
“W
e can’t let her go,” I plead, lowering my voice so we don’t wake her and Tobias. “Not in her state. Hell, not
in any state.” “There’s no ‘letting’ about it. I’ve been around her long enough to know that once she makes up her mind... it sticks. One sure way to lose her for good would be by taking away her control,” Bram explains. “This doesn’t have anything to do with our relationships, Bram. It’s for her own good. I don’t want to live a life without her, even if it means she hates me for the rest of it. What changed for you? This is no different than when we took her in the first place. To protect her.” In an attempt to cool my temper before I go into a rage, I clench my teeth and grind them together while narrowing a glare in Bram’s direction. Jax shoots me a look of warning, and I sit on the bed, closing my eyes for a brief moment and taking a couple deep breaths. Bram stands and begins to pace. “This has everything to do with our relationships whether or not you’re willing to admit it. Maybe I’m being selfish. Sure, I want her safe — but I want her happy too. But most of all? I just want her. From what we’ve learned, what the Commission is doing has the potential to separate us forever. How they plan to achieve that, I don’t know yet, but it’s not looking good. Thess is right: Sometimes you need to take risks for the greater good. Imagine our lives 9
— her life — if this Program Roux mentioned is never taken down.” Aside from the brief warning glare, Jax hasn’t said a word — not since we got back to the room and Tobias and Thessaly laid down. His face is pale as he sits on the edge of his bed across from me, his hands clasped between his knees, head down, and eyes focused on the stone floor. “The Resistance is great,” Bram continues, “and the crisis on a nationwide scale won’t be resolved without their support in numbers. But we’d be fools to think we can get through this without taking action ourselves. Many of the issues revolve around Thessaly and her score. She’s the best candidate for getting the information the Resistance needs to move forward.” As much as I hate what Bram is saying, the truth is, I think we all know the role she’ll play is inevitable. The thought alone, however, makes me want to vomit. “And I’m guessing one — or all — of us going with her is out of the question?” Bram doesn’t answer at first; instead, he quietly walks through the passage that connects our room to Thessaly’s and disappears for a few seconds before returning. “If Thess has any say, and we’ve already determined she does,” Bram begins in an even more hushed tone than previously, “us going with her will be a hard ‘no.’” “At least one of us needs ta be with her,” Jax finally adds to the conversation. “Are ya seriously tellin’ me she’d go 100 percent solo?” “No. She’s smarter than that.” “But ya just got done explainin’ she won’t let us go with her!” 10
“That’s exactly right. Come on, man, think about it. Have the two of you already completely forgotten what she said tonight?” Jax presses his lips together and drills a hard glare into Bram. What Bram is getting at takes me a moment too. When it hits, though, all the blood leaves my face and my heart thuds hard. Either Jax recalled her conversation or my facial expression gave it away, because his eyes widen and he spouts, “Roux?! She’ll fuckin’ let Roux go with her, but not one of us?!” “I’m going to let you in on something, since you two clearly haven’t figured it out yet: Thess is smart. She’d rather Roux take the risk than one of us. Plus, whether we like it or not, he has the information and experience we don’t. Thess has also spent most her life reading people. I know with a certainty she wouldn’t go anywhere with Roux if she held any reservations. Remember when she and I got back from saving her mom, and she told us about picking up on Roux’s emotions? Tonight, she reached out to him empathically. I’ve seen her do it enough times over the years to know what to look for — she makes a certain face.” Bram gives a small chuckle, but the seriousness of the conversation returns just as quick. “Whatever reads she got must’ve been enough to drive her decision. That said, I’m sure we can all agree her idea has holes. The hormones and discomfort coursing through her body are definitely muddling her ability to think critically. She’ll be in a better frame of mind soon, and we can help her come up with the best plan. We... we just need to keep her smart about it. And the best way to do that is by pretending to 11
refuse her ideas. Thess always thinks more critically when she’s arguing.” The thought of her being anywhere alone with Roux sends a combination of terror and rage through my veins. “I’m going to the combat room,” I say in a rush, trying hard to keep my hands relaxed and not clenched tight in my lap. “I’ll join ya,” Jax adds, standing and walking to the exit without a backward glance. I grab my pager off the small table between the beds, stand, and turn to walk away, speaking over my shoulder as I do. “Page us.”
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CHAPTER TWO *Tobias*
his pain is definitely the strongest I’ve ever felt in my life. The worst part is how it comes to her in waves, easing off and tricking us in a way that causes me to think it’s over, only to return again even stronger. As a result, sleep comes in waves too. With each ripple of pain, Thessaly curls into a tight ball and a pitiful whimper leaves her mouth. Every time she crunches, I curve my body around hers, tucking her against me. The pain wracks my body, too, and I find myself breathing heavy and groaning right along with her. What’s worse is that I don’t know what to do. Sometimes when I touch her it seems to help, but other times my touch makes her body tense and heightens the pain. In the early morning hours when Bram sits on the edge of the bed and runs his hand over her forehead — checking on her for the tenth time since we laid down — I decide to take advantage of having him nearby and available. After tapping him to get his attention, without a word I gesture between us, and he nods before coming around to my side of the bed. Together, we slowly trade places, careful not to jar her too much. Once I’m standing, I pat him on the shoulder in thanks and leave the room, eager to go do a bit of research.
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Not understanding this new pain-empath experience and lacking the knowledge it takes to utilize it to our benefit, is slowly driving me crazy. *** ROBBIE DOESN’T QUESTION why I’m down here, and he doesn’t bother me as I sit at the desk in his tech room and power on the computer. The man looks like he’s about as willing to sleep as I am. Not when so much is at stake. Based on his expression, I’d also bet he’s feeling about as capable as I am right now. In fact, he hasn’t spent very much time away from the tech room at all since Kait was taken. Like me, this is where he feels he has even a minuscule amount of control over the situation. Even if, in truth, we don’t. Not right now. Robbie does his own thing while I sit for hours at the computer, alternating between coping with Thessaly’s projected pain and absorbing as much information as I can about empath abilities when I’m able to stare at the screen long enough to do so. I learn there are two main types of empathy: physical and emotional. Emotional is the most predominant of the two and the one that Thessaly, Bram, and Julian all share. As far as the physical subgroup goes — which is what I fall under — it’s unique in that it is also a type of synaesthesia. Also, the second-hand pain felt is in the same brain region that the first-hand pain occurs. The concept is not much different than when someone experiences phantom pains after an amputation, for example.
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Another thing I discover is that Jax is one of the rarest types of empaths — a telepathic empath, which, for the record, I still think is weird as hell. One of the most profound revelations my research leads me to, however, is that there’s a very dark side to empathy, and it can be both emotionally and physically destructive. Empathy can be dangerous to the bearer of that gift. With that realization, my respect for Thessaly reaches a new level at her profound ability to manage it so well. The information helps me wrap my mind around the concept on a scientific level but still doesn’t make me feel at all accomplished. Before calling it quits, I do a quick search on recovery after miscarriage to brush up on the dos and don’ts. Amber’s miscarriage was so many years ago, and she was further along. Plus, she had to get a D&C; the aftercare was a bit more extensive than what I’m finding it is for Thessaly’s early-stage chemical pregnancy. What I didn’t expect to learn in my research is that miscarriage recovery can be aided with intimacy. According to one article, a lot of women tend to feel as though their body has betrayed them, and they, in turn, feel like they have betrayed their partners. This same article goes on to explain that intimacy and orgasm can help curtail those feelings, as well as aid in the natural miscarriage process. For a moment I just stare, blinking like an idiot at the words orgasm and miscarriage used together in the same sentence. One thing I remember all too well is the strict instruction to not have sex for a number of weeks, not to mention Amber felt uncomfortable with the thought of any touching “down there,” especially during the actual bleeding stage. So this mention of intimacy 15
and orgasm after miscarriage certainly piques my curiosity, and I delve deeper. Of course, I find that even with a natural miscarriage, the intimacy and orgasm suggestion still excludes penetration in order to help prevent infection. But, much to my surprise, it is otherwise a green light and highly recommended for both the mental and physical wellbeing of the woman; orgasms contract the uterus and help quicken the process while also providing the usual, feel-good chemicals to the body. After doubling up my research to make absolutely sure and finding similar studies stating the same thing, my heart rate still increases and an anxiousness builds in my chest. The thought of doing that for her sounds amazing and gives me a new drive and feeling of usefulness. But, if I’m being fully honest, it’s also terrifying, considering the circumstances. Last thing I want to do is make her feel even more uncomfortable or freak her out. Just as I’m about to power off the computer, I do one last glance through the article, and my scan catches on a “related article” suggestion titled Empathetic Touching Decreases Pain that draws my attention. Seems like ages ago now, but I remember Bram explaining to Thessaly a while back how her touch somehow remedied him during a time of struggle. Jax had later told me how she pulled Julian from a rage through touch as well. And I saw with my own eyes when she helped Jax through his first empath experience. Again, through touch. Since Thessaly is an emotional empath, I don’t think the physical aspect had even occurred to her until those recent incidents. In turn, she may not be well-versed in that aspect of empathy. 16
Intrigued, I click the link. The article explains how touch synchronizes the brainwaves of the two people making contact, which is fittingly termed as “coupling.� What is most interesting, however, is that psychologists have determined the most effective painabsorbent healing occurs when the male counterpart has a particularly strong level of empathy. In other words, while men are less likely empathic candidates, they also tend to provide the most empathetic healing when they do tap into the gift. With that information and the new understanding that intimacy can also be beneficial, an idea starts to form in my head. The office chair creaks as I lean back and clap my hands together once in accomplishment. With my physical empath capabilities, I can literally take her pain away. Plus, I can counteract the pain with the one thing that does it best. Pleasure.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adell Ryan is a hubby/wife pseudonym. Adell writes unconventional love stories about fierce women and their numerous male suitors. Because let’s be honest, we need more than one to satisfy our multi-dimensional needs. Right? Ryan simply puts up with Adell’s crazy fantasies and toots her horn regularly. Occasionally he’ll add in a shoulder pat, and a deep, sexy “Damn that’s good stuff.” That southern boy (bless him) stole this northern girl’s heart and they live together in the deep south, raising their three boys. When Adell isn’t writing she’s homeschooling — primarily working on dictation, making sure they say ‘creek’ instead of ‘crick’ and ‘fire’ instead of ‘fer.’ She also dabbles in photography and graphic design. Oh yeah, and reading. Every. Night. Much to Ryan’s dismay. Sometimes she puts the steamy stuff down and gives him a quick kiss on the forehead though. To be the first to know about new releases and exclusive behind-the-scenes stuff, join the fun in her FB Group: facebook.com/groups/authoradellryan/ You can also check out her website at https://www.adellryan.com and sign-up for her newsletter. Still not enough? Find her at the listed social media platforms as well!: Goodreads BookBub Instagram
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