Real Talk: Bonding Together

Real Talk: Mental Health

By Shari Finney , Clinic Director Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at VVSD

Bonding Together for Independence

Many years ago, I had the pleasure of attending an Independence Day parade on Coronado Island in California. As Active Duty service members, tanks and even low flying helicopters went by, I was in awe of their power, precision, and elegance. I realized I was watching the descendants of the same military that had helped free us from oppression and create America in the first place.

Since then, I have celebrated the 4th of July with a healthy dose of awe of how much of a country we are, and I am overwhelmed by pride in being an American. I realize that for many of us, this pride has been tested in various ways over the past years, but this year I believe we all have cause to celebrate.

The dictionary defines independence as “the fact or state of being independent.” It also defines it as, “not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker. Not subject to another’s authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free.”

As these definitions relay, independence is an actual state and a way of being.

This month, we, as a nation, celebrate independence from oppression. However, it’s not that linear. America and Americans have fought for independence on so many levels throughout history and especially these last few years. And, this month, we should all celebrate with more in mind, whether that’s Juneteenth and steps towards irradicating racial injustice and working toward reconciliation, or our slow independence from the pandemic, for example. We can work together to be free of influence of discriminatory thinking, and we can use resources and change our social behavior in order to combat COVID-19.

There is more work to be done, but we are starting to bond together over common goals. However, all of this means nothing if we don’t have the emotional and mental capacity to participate and enjoy independence.

The stress from racial divides and the pandemic have wreaked havoc on many individuals’ mental health, while we also continue to fight already existing stigma related to mental health and strive to be free from misconceptions related to seeking available, effective treatment.

Here are some tips to help care for your mental health along the way:

• Don’t do it alone. Talk to supportive family and friends via phone, screen or in person. If you live alone or have very little human contact, make it a goal to connect with someone every day.

• Take steps to overcome social isolation that the pandemic has caused by slowly adding activities back into your life, perhaps start with one activity per week.

• Find a group of people who challenge you to think about a different culture or look for ways to volunteer somewhere that will have an impact. Our Cohen Clinic has a Day of Giving and Reflection, where we take the day to read, research, and deep dive into other cultures or situations. Then, we meet the next day to discuss. It helps us learn about diversity and allows us to “disagree without being disagreeable,” famously said by former Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

• Facts are your friend. From learning about the various COVID-19 vaccines to opposing political views, learning the facts from a non-biased source can educate and calm anxiety by reducing “catastrophizing” or worstcase scenario thinking.

• A professional therapist can help you get through symptoms that you can’t manage on your own. Work with someone to help you get “back to better.”

As I personally reflect on independence this month, I will think about being free to vote how I believe, work at what I am skilled in, live where I want, and define my family as I chose to. I will think about how we are all free to seek help, not just for medical issues, but for mental health issues, as well.

Being independent contributes to a sense of mastery over oneself, including one’s emotions and mental health. It contributes to resiliency and self-sufficiency and emotional regulation. It is a vital component to mental and emotional well-being.

Shari Finney serves as the Clinic Director at the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Veterans Village of San Diego. www.vvsd.net/cohenclinicsandiego

The Cohen Clinic at VVSD is one of 19 mental health clinics nationwide under nonprofit Cohen Veterans Network (CVN), which focuses on providing targeted treatments for a variety of mental health challenges facing post-9/11 veterans and military families, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, transition challenges, and more. To learn how therapy can help with mental health challenges, visit www.cohenvetransnetwork.org