Family First

Everyone has a dream. A goal they must achieve, a point they must reach, a journey they must take. It is believed that once they reach that dream, then and only then, will they be fulfilled, happy and satisfied. Some time ago, when George W. Bush oversaw America’s fate and the show Blossom shined on every TV screen, a young woman, a woman very important to me, had a dream. Her name is Wendy. She had long, wavy dark brown hair, and shimmering emerald eyes. She was beautiful in every way. With a contagious laugh and a smile that would make anyone feel home. The loveliest thing about her was her heart. A true, pure heart. She lived in the land where dreams come true, the sunny paradise where celebrities of all kinds roam the streets, and Santa Claus wears shorts in the local Christmas parades: Los Angeles, California. She didn’t always live in Hollywood. She used to live in Brockton, Massachusetts. The opposite of LA. She grew up in a small house, constantly surrounded by her many siblings and her mother. Wendy loved her mother very much, as all children should love their parents. She was a genuine, sweet, and generous woman. She was a singer at all the local lounges. Her voice brought such peace as an angel’s voice would. Growing up, there was a lot of fighting and yelling in her household. As the youngest, Wendy found herself hiding under tables with fear and confusion, but her mother would talk to her, and sing to her, and would make all the worry disappear just by being around. Wendy’s mother had a pure heart. Her heart was special for another reason. She carried a heart condition known as Congestive Heart Failure Nonetheless, her heart was beautiful and strong. Money was short in that little Brockton house. If a jar of peanut butter fell on the floor and smashed into a million pieces, no way would it be thrown out! Wendy and her siblings would spend lunches for the next two weeks picking glass out of their sandwiches. It was a tough childhood, but all the love that Wendy’s older siblings gave her sure did help. Throughout childhood, Wendy discovered something about herself. Through staring in school plays and dancing in local musicals, she learned her dream was to be an actress. The joy of inhabiting a character and performing for an audience was simply unmatchable. The friends that were made during those plays felt like true family. She still remembers and talks about those friends with me today! She has a fond gleam in her eyes when she reminisces about such things like she’s remembering a childhood home. Wendy knew she had to act. It was her calling. Her family had mixed opinions about it, but it was comforting to know that Wendy had found something that she not only loved, but that she was also good at. Wonderful at, in fact! Best actress I’ve ever known. So in her early 20’s, young and excited, Wendy took off to LA to follow her dream. LA was a different place from her home. There were earthquakes left and right, the heat was exhausting, and it was stuffed to the brim with people, but there was undeniably magic in the air. The Hollywood sign overlooked all the mayhem like a god. Holy, noble, and proud. There were gold and red stars pasted on the sidewalks with names on them like “Michael Jackson” and “Robin Williams” and “Judy Garland.” These permanent golden stars were not just for ‘celebrities’ …but for legends: the ultimate honor. Wendy could just picture her name on that ‘walk of fame.’ Her whole life and her whole career before her. She was ready to commit 100% of herself to the art of acting. It was a bumpy ride. Money was tight, so Wendy lived in a very small apartment in a not-so-safe part of town, far away from the breathtaking castles in Beverly Hills. All her furniture was either found at thrift stores and yard sales or made of cardboard. It was a scary situation, with robbers every so often stealing the little that Wendy had. This might have been enough to scare someone into giving up and moving home, but not Wendy. She stayed strong and determined. Her acting journey began as they all do. She went on audition after audition for every role in every movie that she could find. As an unemployed actor, your job, what you wake up every morning and get ready for, is auditioning. The pressure was painful. In Hollywood, your skills matter just as much if not less than physical appearance. While Wendy was undeniably beautiful, so was everyone else in LA. LA is where you eat clean, take yoga classes, and tan all day by the beach. It is known for its attractive population. Audition after audition, line after line, rejection after rejection. Wendy had been told every line in the book. “I’m sorry, you’re too tall,” “too young,” “too old,” “you just have the wrong look.” But every night Wendy passed back and forth in her

apartment, memorizing lines, perfecting each word, and diving into character for the following day’s auditions. In order to make a living while auditioning, Wendy had to become a waitress. She frantically ran from table to table dealing with complicated orders, mean and difficult customers, and complaints about the food. There was pressure! Pressure to deliver. If Wendy was not on her best behavior, customers would complain. Brought the wrong order, customers would complain. She would balance three trays at a time avoiding fellow waiters and energetic children in her path. It was the dance of the determined. The ballet of the brokedown. The waltz of the waitress. After days of hard work, Wendy had to deal with minimum wage and horrible tips. Barely enough money to get by, but it didn’t stop Wendy. Money is not what life’s all about. That’s a fact that some of the greatest minds on earth struggled to figure out, but Wendy knew that from the beginning. It’s passion that matters more than anything else… isn’t it? As months went by, Wendy still tirelessly continued to try and break into the acting business. The dream was as alive as ever. There were some things, however, that were not quite so lively. Brockton was thousands of miles away from LA. Wendy had never been so far away from the hands that once held hers when she crossed the street. The hands that made her food when she was hungry, the hands that hugged her tight before she moved got on that plane to Hollywood. Her family was far away and had their own things to deal with. Back at home, issues were boiling among her brother and sisters. There was animosity, withheld support, and fights. Oh, so many fights. Wendy wasn’t around to lend a helping hand or calm down this raging fire with her calming presence. The relationships Wendy once had were fading. Sometimes a phone call every now and then, and a quick visit at Christmas just isn’t enough. Wendy kept photos of her family on her nightstand, so they seemed close, but they couldn’t be farther. Her mind focused on other things. Her dream and her future were at stake. Acting was Wendy’s purpose in life, and nothing would convince her that she wasn’t doing what was right. Nothing… except an unexpected phone call. It was a night like any other: same perfect LA heat, same little apartment when the phone rang. Like a bomb in unsuspecting birthday wrapping paper, like arsenic in a fancy china teacup, like a shard of glass in a spoonful of peanut butter, the phone rang. With sleep in her eyes, she answered the phone. It was one of those moments that she would always remember. A moment stamped in time. A moment that, whenever thought back to, would muster up extreme levels of sadness and pain she didn’t know were possible to reach. On the other side of the call, thousands of miles away, and hours ahead of the clock, was Wendy’s sister April. The moment April opened her mouth, Wendy knew something was wrong. Sisters are like that. April had always been confident and strong. Back in childhood, she would stand up for herself in those toxic family fights. While Wendy used to cover her eyes, April would stamp her feet and speak her mind every time. This call, however, was different. April spoke with a strong tremble in her voice. Wendy sensed the uncertainty and fear that April was projecting, and as if it was poured through the phone, Wendy felt the uncertainty and fear showering down on her.

Their mother, the mother who would sing little Wendy to sleep, who offered her arms as a home, blanketed Wendy with support and wisdom, had passed away. Her heart condition caught up with her and all too soon. At the young age of 53, she passed away. She became the angel she seemed to be in life. She died peacefully in her sleep. Lost in the beautiful, colorful, dream world for all time. It seemed as though all the weight in the world fell onto Wendy’s heart as April shared the news. Her heart just kept sinking and sinking. The shock had her mind spinning at the speed of light. Round and round it went. She was drowning in tears. No one suspected this sudden loss. No way to predict it, no way to protest it. It was too late for anything. The sisters fell apart as one over the phone, and when April hung up, she left Wendy in pieces with no clue how to put herself back together. She didn’t even get to say goodbye. She had chosen to follow her dreams and ended up missing the precious time left with her mother. Everything Wendy thought she knew got turned upside down. She wished she could see her mother one last time, tell her that she loved her, and thank her for being her guardian angel, but it simply couldn't be done. There was something, however, that Wendy could do. Something that would change Wendy’s entire life. Wendy’s heart was stronger than most. Her eyes held more wisdom than the great thinkers of our time. It took time, and it took growth, but Wendy went back home… for good. She realized that her life was happening back in Brockton, but it was happening without her. She belonged with

her family. She chose family. The only thing that could fulfill Wendy was family. Laughing with her brother over silly TV shows, sharing her eldest sister’s love of animals, and being maid of honor at April’s wedding. From then on, she was there for the good times and the bad, had her family’s back at any given moment, and in turn, they had hers. They guided each other through heartbreak, through grief, and through life and they still do to this day! Wendy felt her mother’s presence in her siblings’ eyes. She knew she was home. She was safe. Wendy was there for the births of her beautiful nieces and nephews and shares her big heart with them every day. Being around the people who love you is what life is all about. Laughing, crying, learning, leading, and giving.

Wendy still has a passion for acting, and just because she moved away from LA, didn't mean she needed to stop. It’s surprising how many local opportunities there are in Massachusetts. With the competition not being quite so fierce, Wendy got to play all kinds of amazing roles! She was an evil detective in a digital TV series for many years! She was a dying artist, a wealthy British woman, and even the President of the United States. Wendy chose to put her family first, and she can still call herself an actress! On the wall of our house is a framed ‘best actress’ award with the name “Wendy Hartman” bold and proud. Who knows what Wendy’s career would be like if she stayed in LA. Maybe she’d be the next Bette Davis, on the cover of every magazine, making infrequent calls to her far away siblings… If they even still talked at all. Wendy was smart and saved herself from a future filled with regret. There is a void in every person that can't be filled with anything but love. Not even the godlike Hollywood sign can compare to family taco nights and the annual Christmas Eve party. She's my inspiration. She’s the best sister, the best actress, and the best mom.

~ Alexa Hartman

Abby Neubert