HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDAL PARTY

Darcel de Vlugt shares her expert advice on how to choose the best bridal party for your wedding day. No matter the size or style, every bride deserves to be surrounded by a supportive and loving group of family and friends who will be there to help them plan one of the most special days of their lives.

Oh my goodness, you’re engaged… Let the wedding planning begin!

A major part of the success of any wedding day depends on the people chosen to assist, guide and execute the multitude of items on that to-do list. It doesn’t matter whether you are having a multi-event wedding extravaganza, or the type of small, intimate ceremony that has become synonymous with the circumstances of 2020; apart from your betrothed, who you take the journey with in planning the start of a fruitful marriage is important.

Choosing a bridal party in the past has depended on a number of factors, ranging from the traditional to the superficial and everything in-between. At the end of the day, this is a decision not to be taken lightly, If you choose to have a bridal party at all, then the “who” and the “why” matter, and could play a huge part in making or breaking your special day. Here are some key things to consider when making this decision:

your most supportive

This seems like such an obvious point to begin with, and yet so many people get caught up in the dressing up and showing up for the wedding day and the perks involved, with little consideration to the actual work that goes into getting married. Both you and your future spouse should consider who has really been there for you, both as individuals and within your relationship. Who have you been able to turn to for advice during your courtship? Who has always been there to pick up the phone and, at times, been there to help you pick up the pieces?

Who has encouraged you to persevere during difficult times? Who is that one person you could not have made it this far without? Standing beside a couple on the day they make one of the biggest decisions of their lives is a real honour; it should also be an honour for the bride and groom to have the people they choose next to them.

It’s easy to think that encouraging friends are the same as supportive friends, but there is a difference! Your encouraging friends are the ones you include in some of the more exciting but potentially stressful aspects of wedding planning. While a supportive friend certainly cares about you in the long run and wants what’s best for you, it is possible to be unnecessarily critical in the name of support in situations where a bride - or groom - requires a positive, upbeat attitude and someone to make the fun parts of wedding planning, well… fun.

Your encouraging friend is the one you take to try on dresses, the one who will play up your strengths and give you a confidence boost in your bride experience instead of telling you everything that’s wrong with what you’ve tried on. Your encouraging friend - while not a ‘yes’ man/woman - has an optimistic outlook about everything involved in getting you married. This person is less likely to worry about the fine-tuning of certain details, but more concerned that you simply enjoy yourself on your day, no matter what happens. There is no rule that a family member must be included in your bridal party, but many brides and grooms do feel like their sibling or cousin should be in there somewhere. If your sibling or close relative is one of your best friends, then you probably want them standing next to you on your day. However, let me approach this one with caution: a bride or groom should never feel obligated to have someone in their bridal party.

This includes asking someone to be your bridesmaid as a way of returning the favour when they asked you several years ago, or including your Godmother’s teenage daughter as a way of appeasing your mother, and… you get my point. Granted, a few feathers may be ruffled by who doesn’t get asked, but always remember that you can’t please everyone, so you should probably focus on you and your husband/wife-to-be being happy before anyone else…which is sound advice for marriage on a whole, don’t you think?

Your bridal party is essentially your

support system, not just for the wedding

Family members/obligatory inclusions

day itself, but in the entire experience of getting to the altar, which can last anywhere from a few weeks to over a year in some cases. Your bridal party is key to being able to delegate and execute tasks that will help everything run smoothly. Of course, you want some beautiful photos of you and your besties in their coordinated outfits, but

there’s a lot more to it than that. Do the members of your bridal party get along? Harmony within the group is really crucial to getting things done on the bride or groom’s behalf. Different personalities can come together beautifully when the focus remains the couple’s wellbeing. Can you trust who you have chosen to handle this while you are handling something else? Be aware of jealous, apathetic or competitive best friends or people you decide to include from different social circles you may have; it’s one thing for all walks of life to attend your wedding as guests, but can they come together as part of your inner circle at the altar?

At the end of the day, being realistic is as important as having your dream wedding. Your chosen bridesmaids or groomsmen - whether it’s one, or many - should lift you up during difficult ADRIANAWEDDINGS.COM times along the journey and keep you excited and focused about getting married and not just having a wedding. They should get along with those closest to you, like your parents and family members who may be helping you plan the wedding, and even possibly liaise with some of your vendors on your behalf.

Being part of a bridal party is a huge responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly, so it’s also important as the bride and groom that you consider - and respect - obligations that individuals may have outside of being your bridesmaid or groomsman. This includes those who are studying, those who have children, or even those planning a wedding of their own.

your bridal party, how many you can afford to have by your side on your day and also whether they can afford to be with you in such a capacity. Never let a temporary wedding planning issue overshadow the value of a friendship.

You don’t need a grand entourage to walk down the aisle, but being surrounded by love as you enter the covenant of marriage is priceless.

Darcel de Vlugt is the creative, mother, writer, poet, and Bridal Designer of Van der Vlugt. She is based in Trinidad & Tobago and is extremely passionate about life, marriage and love.

LEO CREARY PHOTOGRAPHY