Signs of the Times January/February 2025 by Adventist Media

the year of

SIMPLE PURPOSE a christian perspective on the world today

In this issue Jan/Feb 2025 WHAT IN THE WORLD Pg 04 THE SOCIAL MEDIA TRAP Pg 06 WHAT WE GET WRONG ABOUT BEHAVIOUR CHANGE—AND HOW TO ACTUALLY MEET YOUR GOALS Pg 14

SIMPLE PURPOSE At some point, we all ask the question, “What am I here for?” PAGE 32

INSIDE A PNG PRISON Pg 20 WHY WE THINK THINGS ARE WORSE THAN THEY REALLY ARE Pg 26 SUCCESSFULLY GOING BACK TO SCHOOL Pg 38

IS YOUR TEEN VAPING? Pg 40 ASK PASTOR JESSE Pg 46 14

FIVE THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY DIVORCE Pg 48

PATCHING YOUR TORN CLOTHES Pg 54 26

TOP TIPS FOR A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP Pg 60 SUDOKU AND CROSSWORD PUZZLE Pg 62

40 FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA 2

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@SIGNSMAG

Bit by bit Recently my friends and I were talking about whether or not we do New Year resolutions. In the past, I’ve gone so far as having categories with numerous goals underneath. As the statistics go, most of them didn’t make it past the first month and I was often left disappointed with my progress. The past few years, I’ve taken a different approach, where I’ve chosen one word that captures an area of my life or character I want to improve. Confident, generous, healing, joy—to name a few. Each word has acted as a gentle nudge in helping me become the person I want to be. When I’ve faced moments where my default is to act or think the opposite, it has reminded me to do differently. In this issue, we’ve covered a lot of deep ground. That’s because at Signs, our goal is to give hope . . . which starts by looking where people are lacking it. Typically, that’s when the world has gone mad. Whether you think the world is getting better or worse (pg26), I’m sure we can agree we still want things to improve. We can blame politicians, celebrities, big pharma, Zuckerberg or whoever else for the mess. But we’ve each got to do our part—and that starts by being intentional about who we are as individuals. There’s this beautiful quote from the Jewish Talmud. It says, “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now.” And here’s the kicker: “You are not expected to finish the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.” So, start with just one thing. Over the course of your life, you (and we) will be much better for it.

ZANITA FLETCHER Assistant Editor

VOL 139 NO 1

ISSN 1038-9733 EXECUTIVE PUBLISHER Brad Kemp EDITOR Jarrod Stackelroth ASSOCIATE EDITOR Jesse Herford ASSISTANT EDITOR Zanita Fletcher COPYEDITORS Melody Tan Tracey Bridcutt GRAPHIC DESIGN Theodora Pau’u Talia Valderrama PHONE +61 2 9847 2222 EMAIL info@signsmag.com WEBSITE signsmag.com ADDRESS Adventist Media PO Box 1115, Wahroonga New South Wales 2076 SUBSCRIPTIONS Kelli Geelan PHONE +61 3 5965 6300 Australia/New Zealand, $A28/$NZ30; South Pacific countries, $A41; Other countries $A51 Published since 1886, Signs of the Times is printed 11 times a year by the Seventh-day Adventist Church and is registered as a periodical. Seventh-day Adventist Church (SPD) Limited ABN 59 093 117 689 NOTE The inclusion of a person or their image within does not imply their endorsement of the Seventh-day Adventist Church or its beliefs. Unless otherwise stated, Bible verses are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, Anglicised. Copyright © 1979, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc®. Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton. All rights reserved worldwide. COVER IMAGE: Zanita Fletcher

WHAT IN THE WORLD Heart-healthy veggies AUSTRALIA

Cruciferous vegetables, including broccoli, cabbage, kale and cauliflower, are the least consumed group of vegetables in Australia. Yet new research shows that the compounds found almost exclusively in these vegetables lower blood pressure in middle-aged and older adults, in comparison to root vegetables like squash, carrots, potatoes and pumpkins. Four serves a day of cruciferous vegetables can translate to roughly a five per cent lower risk of experiencing heart disease or a stroke later in life. —Heart Foundation

Cutting the space junk The world’s first satellite made from wood has been launched into space and is headed for the International Space Station. The tiny satellite weighed 900 grams and was named LognoSat, from the Latin word for wood. Researchers from Kyoto University in Japan, created it hoping timber could offer an alternative to the metal most satellites are made from, which burn when they re-enter the atmosphere, leaving behind toxic contaminants that fall to Earth.—BBC 4

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COTTONBRO, ELLETAKESPHOTOS, MALI, PIXABAY—PEXELS

JAPAN

New social media age limit EUROPE

Australia has become the latest country to announce an age limit of 16 years for social media access. Recently, the Norwegian government announced a minimum age limit of 15 and the French and Irish governments are trialling bans on smartphones in schools. Platforms that don’t comply may accrue penalties. Other countries are also starting to clamp down on platforms, with studies linking their use with mental health risks among children.—The Guardian

Tinder leave THAILAND

Bangkok marketing agency Whiteline Group has announced that as of 2025, it will be giving its workers paid time off to go on dates, working just like sick leave and annual leave. This unconventional initiative hopes to boost wellbeing and productivity among employees.—Nine News

Antidepressants and fish WORLD

Antidepressants have helped millions worldwide since the 1950s. But new research shows they are harming freshwater fish and other species. Some of the medication we take is absorbed by our bodies; the rest passes through in urine and into the environment. Fluoxetine, which can be found in some antidepressants, is the most common pharmaceutical found in waterways worldwide, including Australia. It’s been shown to disrupt the ability of marine life to reproduce, respond to environmental changes and compete for food.—The Conversation JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

The social media trap Social media is increasingly becoming a breeding ground for bullying. Here’s what parents can do to protect their kids. JARROD STACKELROTH

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THAI LIANG LIM—GETTY IMAGES

wo recent stories in Australian media shocked me to my core. Two 12-year-olds in different states took their own lives after being bullied at school. Hours before suicide ultimately ended her life, Ella Catley-Crawford, was the victim of a cruel catfishing scheme. A young netballer, she was described by her family as “bright and quirky”. In a post she made to TikTok hours before she took her life, she wrote, “One day you’ll never see me again.” While many friends reached out with love and support, it is unclear whether she saw those messages. Ella is not the only one to suffer this fate. Charlotte O’Brien also took her own life following school bullying. These deaths have led to a groundbreaking social media summit hosted jointly by the South Australian and New South Wales governments. South Australian Premier Peter Malinauskas, who attended the summit alongside psychologists, parents groups, policy makers and academics, has been a vocal advocate of raising the age of access to social media to 16. A number of advocacy groups have risen to address the issues surrounding teenage mental health when it comes to social media. Australian Radio personality Michael “Wippa” Wipfli is the co-founder of an organisation called 36 Months and is petitioning to raise the social media age limit by 36 months from 13 to 16. With more than 75,000

signatures, the group was able to present the petition to the Australian government. The Molly Rose Foundation, started in the UK after the death of 14-year-old Molly Russell, found that only two major social media platforms passed a test designed to see if they would remove 95 per cent of harmful material—including suicide and self-harm content. Most companies, including those owned by Meta (Facebook, Instagram), failed, sometimes removing less than one per cent of such material. As a parent of young children myself, I’m anxious about how my wife and I will parent as our children get older and start to engage with technology and social media. When they do, they may encounter hate and bullying and will have to manage their own mental health in a world that seems out of control. “The flood of information, ethical dilemmas and social conflicts presented through social media are challenging for adults to navigate; even more so for children who do not have the cognitive capacity to navigate these mature situations,” said Mikaela Matthes, a psychologist and counselling lecturer at Avondale University who specialises in children and adolescents. According to psychologist and author Jonathan Haidt in The Anxious Generation, society has moved toward being more risk-averse with children in the real world but gives them essentially free reign online. 8

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Haidt goes on to claim that there are key links that can be made between the declining mental health of teenagers and the rise of smartphones and social media. He told 60 Minutes in an interview that mental health among teenagers spiralled globally due to something that happened in the early 2010s. “We have an international epidemic of depression, anxiety, selfharm and suicide,” he said. “The only theory on the table for why you’d have a global change is the massive change in their daily lives when they adopted a phone-based childhood based on having a smartphone, the front facing camera, social media and highspeed internet. “They spend more time on it and they’re much more harmed by it.” So why does the problem seem to be worse among teenagers? Part of the problem is that teenage brains haven’t finished growing. “In young brains, the prefrontal cortex is still developing, which means children still need guidance to think critically, make informed decisions and develop their identity,” said Matthes. “The prefrontal cortex helps us regulate our emotional response to social rewards; therefore, children are more at risk of

becoming addicted to the social validation from engaging online as their brains cannot regulate the rush of ‘happy hormones’ (like dopamine) from getting a ‘like’ online. Children are also more at risk because without as strong a sense of self as an adult might have, they are less able to critically analyse the feedback they are getting from online interaction.” Young people are also becoming addicted to small dopamine hits and are having trouble diverting their attention from ever-present screens. Matthes reports seeing an increase in indicators of phone-based addiction even in primary-school-aged children, “especially withdrawal symptoms such as emotional dysregulation when unable to use their device.” “I see social media exacerbating feelings of loneliness and struggles with self-esteem in young people,” said Matthes. “Another significant issue I encounter is that children are not equipped to navigate social conflict online. They are still learning to do this in-person, so the issue of social media adds another challenging context to navigate. “It can be hard for an adult to make sense of why a friend would not reply even though they can see they are ‘online’; it is even more JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

RON LACH—GETTY IMAGES

We have an international epidemic of depression,

difficult for a child to understand all the possible reasons for this and not to just experience it as a rejection. “Another issue is that there is limited ‘off time’ for young people. Where once an issue at school would have to wait until everyone returned the next day, the conflict can be continued and usually escalated online, with even adults getting involved online at times. This both exposes young people to prolonged stress but also, when adults step in, it does not teach them what to do themselves.” These are issues that are present in normal, run-of-the-mill social media usage but when hostility and deliberate targeting is involved, as is often the case with teenagers who resort to suicide, then things can get out of control really quickly. “The issue with cyber-bullying is 10

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that due to the permanency of what is shared on the internet and the ability for one image or comment to be shared repeatedly and rapidly, the event only needs to occur once for it to cause ongoing harm,” said Matthes. “Education is again paramount. Teaching children and parents what cyber-bullying is, and how to report it is important. Also teaching children empathy, social skills and conflict resolution skills are preventative, in terms of building positive cultures and positive relationships among children.” The good news is parents can be part of the solution. “Children spell ‘love’ as ‘T-I-M-E’, which means we as parents need to invest quality time with them,” said Pastor Daron Pratt, school chaplain

and passionate advocate for children. “We earn the right to speak into our child’s life at the age of 16 if we have built a good connection with them in the years leading up to that age. Strong connection creates the ability to have the difficult conversations later in life.”

Jarrod Stackelroth is the editor of the Australia/New Zealand edition of Signs of the Times and Adventist Record. To learn more about depression and suicide, visit Beyond Blue at <beyondblue.org.au>. For crisis support or suicide prevention, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (AU), 0800 543 354 (NZ), 1543 (Fiji), 3260011 (PNG) or Lifeline’s equivalent in your local country.

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ELLY FAIRYTALE—GETTY IMAGES

Children spell “love” as “T-IM-E”, which means we as parents need to invest quality time with them

“When it comes to pornography, online bullying, sexting, catfishing, sextortion, we need to have those conversations with our child before they get their smartphone. This begins with you turning your phone off and putting it down as well.” Being part of a faith community can also help. “Jonathon Haidt’s research found that kids who are embedded in faith-based communities do better,” said Pratt. “They are less anxious and depressed because faith-based communities naturally provide good boundaries and guardrails for our children.” While not all health professionals are in agreement with proposed bans, one thing is clear: social media is something that needs to be handled with care and responsibility and social media companies can’t be trusted to self-regulate. Teenagers need time and help navigating these difficult spaces as their brains develop. Parents, teachers and even young people need more education and support when it comes to understanding the dangers and the opportunities of social media.

Tips for parents dealing with social media: •

Research Just because an app says it is a kid’s version, does not mean it is developmentally appropriate.

•

Understand Matthes recommends parents read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. “He presents the reality of the situation but also some great solutions.”

•

Communicate Cultivating an atmosphere of openness, where no topic is off the table, helps ensure young people are more likely to come to an adult with any concerns.

FOTIOS—PEXELS

•

Educate Young people need to be taught how to engage positively online, how to identify risks and how to support each other when they see something that is not okay.

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•

Negotiate Come to an agreement with your teenager over when they can have access to a social media account and consider limiting it to only one platform until they turn 18.

•

Lead Set boundaries with your child, including how long they are online each day, so they know what the expectations are.

•

Monitor If your child is on social media then reserve the right to have their password and monitor their interactions as a parent. Limiting phone use late at night and in bedrooms can not only avoid unhealthy social media interactions but also the dangers of inappropriate content.

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and how to actually meet your goals JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

ZKADOSHI—PEXELS

What we get wrong about behaviour change

At the beginning of the year, many of us think about making a change—and it’s usually health-related. How can we make changes that actually stick?

SIMON MATTHEWS

he start of the year is when most people set goals for their lives, and we know all too well how many people fail to follow through with their resolutions. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re interested in living a purposeful life and making thoughtful use of the resources you have—including your health. Thinking about health in this way—as a resource—can help you think confidently about managing and making changes to your wellbeing. We often think of health as a “state” of wellness you have at any point in time. This is true but it misses some of the point. Just being healthy is a little useless unless you do something meaningful with it. It’s a bit like being a billionaire. It would be nice to have all that money—but is it worth it if you don’t put it to good use in your life and the world? The word whealthy has been coined to try and capture this idea. There are many tools, apps, books and influencers offering information and guidance on behavioural change. I’m going to outline a small handful of principles that everyone can harness to make such changes. And the good news is, you don’t need to buy anything or get a membership. You don’t even need willpower!

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momentum

The challenge we all face is that behavioural change is not easy. But it is easy to understand why it’s not easy. It’s not easy for the same reason that it’s hard when you first start pushing a broken-down car. You know the feeling—huge effort, tiny gain. It can be easy to give up. But you’ve probably had the experience of seeing that if you keep pushing, it gets a little bit easier over time. The reason is momentum! At first it requires a great effort to overcome the car’s inertia (inertia literally means having no energy). The more effort you make, the more you enjoy the benefits of momentum. This is the first principle of making behavioural change and it’s a little counter-intuitive. Sometimes we say to ourselves, “I’ll start eating cleaner, or going to the gym, or cutting out sweets next year, or when I get through this stressful time at work, or when I can concentrate better.” The research on behaviour change shows that you’re much more likely to be successful if you start a change when you’re already busy with another big change or effort in your life. What’s the reason? Momentum! You’ve already started using your skills and resources to do one thing. Adding one more thing is easier now

that you’re moving! So, whether it’s December, January or the middle of May, start making the change today.

the why beneath the why

ANDRES AYRTON—PEXELS

The second principle that sits under successful behavioural change is being able to clearly answer the question “why?” When I teach this, I go a few steps further and I keep asking “why?”, or “what makes that important to you?” Let me show you how this works. Say you want to lose weight. Why? You might say that you want to have more energy or look better, feel better, fit a favourite shirt again or prepare for a wedding. Great! But why is that important to you? You might tell me now that having more energy means you could enjoy doing things with your kids or grandkids more or that a shirt you no longer fit holds special memories for you. That’s good! Now, let’s keep digging. Why is it important for you to be able to do things with your kids or grandkids? After some reflection, you might share with me that you know how important it is to be a great role model and you know how quickly life moves by, so you want to enjoy every minute of it. Now you can see we’re getting much closer to the really important reasons for you to make this change. It’s not actually about losing five or 10 kilograms. It’s because you value your family relationships so deeply and you want to experience that joy as much as you can for as long as you JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

can. This is the second principle: the why beneath the why beneath the why beneath the why. The further you go, the more you anchor your desired behavioural change to strong and enduring values that you want to live by.

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realistic expectations

The third principle builds on this: once you know the destination and the reasons for going, you can start to plan the trip. If you decide to pack everything up and take a road trip around the country, you get yourself ready. You make sure

share the journey

As you embark on the journey of change, remember the importance of relationships and the support they can provide. Find people in your circle who are interested in you and what you’re doing and share the journey together. Do this thought experiment: imagine having to carry a 40-kilogram bag of sand across your yard. Sounds hard, right? Now imagine an interlocking grip with

three other people, placing the bag in the middle of your arms. It’s much more manageable. One of the joys of sharing the journey is that you might get to support someone else, too.

be kind to yourself

Change is hard. There will be setbacks. It’s not a steady, straight line from where you are to where you want to be—it’s more like a game of Snakes and Ladders. We often feel a sense of urgency about behaviour change, like it must happen now—or even better, yesterday! But those time constraints are usually self-imposed. If it’s taking longer than you planned, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It most likely means your original plan was a little on the ambitious side. Adjust the plan as required. Keep going! Use temporary failures and setbacks as an opportunity to pause and learn. Learn what did help as well as what you could do differently. There is no single best way to achieve the change you desire, no formula that works every time, no bootcamp that will guarantee success. But with a little vision, a little planning, a little learning and frequent small steps, every journey becomes possible. Simon Matthews is a psychologist and leadership coach. He is a dual Fellow of both the American College and the Australasian Society of Lifestyle Medicine. He is an adjunct lecturer at Avondale University Lifestyle Medicine & Health Research Centre. He loves talking about his passions of travelling and cooking. He writes from Madrid, Spain.

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COTTONBRO—PEXELS

the car is fit for the task, you pack clothing and other things you need. You think through how much driving you want to do each day and where that’s going to put you so that you can plan your accommodation. You also think about things like topping off the fuel or carrying some spares (like tyres, fan belts or oil). In other words, you devote a lot of effort to preparation. The same approach works with behaviour change, too. When you’re ready to start making a change, do some planning. And be realistic! Can you drive from Brisbane to Melbourne in a day? Well, yes, you can, technically. But it’s not much fun and it really strains you, your car and your passengers. Better to plan Brisbane–Newcastle, Newcastle– Canberra, Canberra–Melbourne, for example. That way you’ll still arrive at your destination and you’ve had some time to appreciate the scenery. You’ll also build in room to deal with unexpected events and, importantly, you’ll allow time to rest and recharge along the way.

What my experience in Papua New Guinea taught me about myself—and about God. VANIA CHEW

INSIDE

A PNG PRISON 20

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TAMMY616—GETTY IMAGES

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went to prison in Goroka (Papua New Guinea). Six words I never thought I’d write, let alone experience. But more about that later. When I first told family and friends of my plans to go to PNG, they initially reacted with worry and concern. “It’s a dangerous country—you shouldn’t go there!” “You might catch malaria or some other sort of disease.” “Aren’t there other places you’d rather visit?” Having previously travelled to other countries that might be considered high-risk (Israel, Ethiopia and India, to name a few), I was genuinely taken aback by the adverse opinions I received. It was like the opposite of a tourism ad—everyone I spoke to was trying to dissuade me from going! I consider myself an adventurous traveller. But this time, I couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that I should just cancel my plans. Well-meaning people sent me articles about violent assaults and tribal unrest. My usual pre-travel excitement was overcome by an uncomfortable sense of disquiet. When I had to spend my birthday updating my typhoid shot and getting a prescription for malaria pills, it felt like the last straw. “You must be looking forward to PNG,” a friend said. It was the first positive comment anyone had made. “I’m not sure,” I confessed. “Part of me is looking forward to it. Part of me is just scared. I don’t know what to expect.”

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“But you shouldn’t expect anything before your visit,” my friend pointed out. “You need to experience PNG for yourself. You can’t just rely on other people’s opinions.” It was the best advice my friend could have given me. I tried to let go of my fears. And as soon as I decided to keep an open mind, each unexpected event became an opportunity instead of an obstacle. Departure day finally arrived. After flying from Sydney to Brisbane and Brisbane to Port Moresby, I was looking forward to the final flight of the day. But after boarding the plane to Goroka, an announcement was made, asking passengers to get off the plane. “We are sorry for the inconvenience,” the staff said apologetically. “We should fly in an hour.” That onehour wait turned into an overnight stay in Port Moresby. During the shuttle bus ride to the hotel, I sat next to a young woman and her baby girl. I commented on how cute her baby was (always a good conversation starter with a parent!) and we began to talk. Her name was Lavi and she lived in Goroka. I had no idea how important this conversation with a stranger on the bus would turn out to be. Fast forward to the next day and our rescheduled flight. As the passengers milled around the baggage claim, I saw Lavi again. It turned out that her husband Jeremiah was part of the group that was scheduled to pick me up. I was staying approx-

imately an hour out of Goroka but Jeremiah and Lavi promised they would come and visit. They also insisted that I let them know if I needed anything. You might be wondering what I was doing in PNG. I was running a community program at a site called Kafetugu, which was really a big

open-air field. Hundreds of people were coming each night to listen to special songs, health talks and messages about Jesus. For the first couple of nights, conscious of the warnings from family and friends, I stayed close to the team of volunteers looking after me. But by the third day, I realised I would never truly experience PNG while being escorted between the podium and the car. I wanted to learn what PNG was all about. To do that, I needed to be among the people. I started wandering around the field and the surrounding hills and meeting the people who were camping there. Slowly, I began learning phrases in the local languages Tok Pisin, Kafe and Bena. The women fed me delicious food—smoky sweet potatoes, bamboo-chargrilled fish, fresh pawpaw and the sweetest pineapple I’ve ever tasted. Within the first

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As soon as I decided to keep an open mind, each unexpected event became an opportunity instead of an obstacle

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few days, my fears were forgotten. The warmth, kindness and genuine hospitality of the people won me over. And the more I learned about Papua New Guinea and its culture, the more I grew to love it. When Jeremiah and Lavi asked again what they could bring, I knew what the people needed: medicine. Things that we take for granted were impossible to access in the rural area where the program was being held. True to their word, Jeremiah and Lavi came with what I’d asked for. I found myself dosing sickly babies with cough syrup, doling out paracetamol . . . and giving away my malaria pills. I’d taken them faithfully for the first few days. But now I believed the locals needed the medication more. I had heard there was a site like mine at the women’s prison in Goroka. The anxious pre-PNG me would have steered clear of prisoners and prisons. The new me desperately wanted to see what it was like. When I told Jeremiah and Lavi about my 24

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wish, Jeremiah instantly said that he could organise a prison visit for me. Like most things in PNG, the prison camp was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It was a simple brick building that could easily have been mistaken for a regular house—if it weren’t for the tall, barbed wire fence and the bars on the windows. The women were clad in various versions of their “uniform”—a blue dress with red hems. When my friend Julie and I first walked in, they seemed solemn and unresponsive. Several of them had crossed their arms defensively. But as we began talking to them, you could gradually see the tension dissipate. Julie shared part of her backstory including how her children had been taken away for some time and how difficult that separation had been. Tears began to well in the women’s eyes. Many of them had children on the outside that they wouldn’t see for a long time. Others had babies born inside the prison that had never been

Although I’ve never been arrested, I know what it feels like to be a prisoner to my emotions. To accept I’ve made mistakes, to acknowledge that I’ve hurt people I love and to feel remorse over my actions. I could choose to stay in a place of regret and self-condemnation. But I also believe in a God that loves me unconditionally. He’s forgiven my past and has bright plans for my future. He doesn’t want me to stay in that place of shame. As I continue getting to know Jesus better—reading the Bible, praying and spending time with other believers—He gently leads me on a journey of growth. I know I’m not perfect—far from it—but it’s faith in Jesus that keeps me aiming to be a more loving, kind and joyful person than I was yesterday (Galatians 5:22-25). Vania Chew writes from Sydney. She is a keen traveller and foodie.

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on the other side of that barbed wire fence. “Please pray for us,” one woman begged. “Please pray for our children.” We didn’t know what crimes the women had committed or how long they were in prison for. But as Christians, we were able to share our belief that there was a way for them to experience true freedom and forgiveness—the freedom and forgiveness that comes from a relationship with Jesus. Much like my pre-PNG experience, some women were hesitant and unsure. Others showed willingness to learn more about the Bible or at least try reading it. And one woman decided that the Jesus we spoke about—someone who offered love, grace and healing—was what she wanted in her life right then and there. The once-stoic ladies were now openly weeping as we stood in a circle, arms around each other’s shoulders, and said a prayer for this woman and her decision.

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Why we think things are worse than they really are 26

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ELIZA VLĂDESCU JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

PIXDELUXE—GETTY IMAGES

In the age of the internet, an irrational fear taking hold of a small American town can easily go viral. Once online, news—whether true or false—can have a corrosive effect, leading us to feel cynical about the future and to hold low expectations for our leaders.

he internet is a world of non-stop information, available largely for free. On nearly any topic, we can access a full spectrum of viewpoints—though some resonate more than others. In general, the most viral are the most negative, alarmist and extreme. This is how we come to believe things are worse than they really are and that the world is going downhill, even as statistics prove this is often far from the truth. The number of people living in poverty has dropped by 20 per cent in the past 40 years. The global infant mortality rate has fallen by 60 per cent over the past 50 years. Average life expectancy worldwide has risen by 30 per cent since the 1960s. The number of people per million who have died in armed conflicts decreased from 235 in 1950 to 2.5 in 2007, despite a rise in local conflicts. The percentage of people with access to sanitation has increased by 50 per cent since the 1990s, and rates of new HIV/AIDS cases are declining globally, as has incidences of cancer in developed countries. The list of improvements goes on, yet according to a public opinion survey conducted in 38 countries, these positive statistics don’t seem to register. Most people mistakenly believe that rates of violent crime and terrorist attacks are significantly higher than they actually are, or that teen pregnancy rates are much higher than reality (often with 40 per cent difference between the

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perceived and real number of pregnancies). People also tend to overestimate the number of smartphone owners or Facebook users (with 60 per cent differences between perception and reality, in both cases). Why are our perceptions so persistently inaccurate and overwhelmingly negative? Experts explain that the cognitive biases we’ve developed as a society now work against us in the digital age.

our tendency to generalise

First described in 1973 by psychologists Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman, the tendency to believe that the last piece of information we encounter represents a common reality is a prime culprit in today’s world of limitless information exposure. This tendency helps explain why people fear shark attacks more than drowning, despite the far greater risk of the latter, or why they dread terrorism more than aviation accidents—even though the statistical risk of dying in a plane crash is higher. It also sheds light on why parents are increasingly reluctant to let their children play outside unsupervised, despite this being one of the safest eras in history for children, according to Christopher Mims for The Wall Street Journal. The media has long capitalised on this bias since the birth of sensationalist journalism but the internet amplifies it by making every terrorist attack, child abduction, jogger homicide and assault seem as if it

happened in our own backyard. The notion that anything can happen to anyone has never felt more resonant than it does right now.

our tendency to exaggerate

This tendency, as old as storytelling itself, underpins many of the enduring myths in history and is a hallmark of great narrators. A positive story is glorified, a negative one

gains horrific elements and so on. In today’s online landscape—more accurately described as the “attention economy, “where everyone competes to capture as many people’s attention for as long as possible—this tendency to exaggerate has itself become amplified. “Our audiences are getting larger and larger, so the trend is to push things to extremes to capture their attention,” says Professor Jonah Berger, an expert in idea dissemination. “Things can no longer be simply engaging; they must be extremely engaging.” Content that can evoke both strong positive and negative emotions simultaneously has the best chances of going viral. For instance, a story about a child’s kidnapping evokes both anger and a sense of moral superiority. By sharing it, people feel they are contributing to child safety everywhere. “It’s a potent mix of outrage and virtue,” says Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow, which advocates for greater independence in children’s lives.

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The internet amplifies [our biases] by making every terrorist attack, child abduction, jogger homicide and assault seem as if it happened in our own backyard

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despite the perception of a wide range of accessible information, we are often only exposed to a narrow selection. In such an environment, manipulation is remarkably easy.

our tendency to idealise the past

our tendency to always be right

This tendency to seek out information that confirms our pre-existing views—while ignoring contrary evidence—is well-known and extensively studied. Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains in The Righteous Mind that our moral judgements often stem from gut reactions. We tend to first answer, then seek rational explanations to justify our answers. If your initial reaction to this article was, “No, things really are getting worse—I’ll find some stats to prove it,” then it’s worth recognising that response as part of the problem. Social media algorithms, whether by design or not, amplify this tendency and tend to sort us into “information bubbles”—feeding us content that aligns with our interests and beliefs. Applied to more than two billion people worldwide, this has led to unprecedented polarisation of public opinion. This effect is further intensified by the fact that 30

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The past ain’t what it used to be. Paseism, the tendency to idealise the past, is an age-old habit, bringing up memories painted with nostalgia for events long gone. We put on rose-coloured glasses, exaggerating the good aspects of the past while erasing the negative ones. Part of this process is natural. As we age, we tend to remember positive experiences over negative ones. A 2005 study found that older adults manage emotions more effectively, in part because they retain a higher proportion of positive memories. The brain, says psychiatrist Dave Archer, has a bias for positive memories, even enhancing the good elements of these recollections while downplaying the bad. It’s hardly surprising, then, that today might seem worse than yesterday. This perception aligns with two other tendencies: our natural inclination to focus more on negative events and potential dangers, and the belief that society or an institution is on a continuous downward path, regardless of statistics. Our brains process positive and negative information differently, with a heightened reaction to negative news, a key factor in why the media skews

Pinker—who illustrates how many of the negative factors clouding our thoughts and dimming our outlook have actually been declining for decades—we might gain a broader, more accurate perspective on our own lives. Neither Pinker nor others committed to this intellectual effort claim that major, urgent global problems have vanished or that new challenges aren’t emerging. Instead, we should make room for both truths: that we’ve come a long way, finding ourselves in a better place than before, and that there remains a long journey ahead with more challenges to resolve. I don’t subscribe to the theory that humanity is on an inevitable path to utopia. Historically, human progress has often been accompanied by an increase in destructive capacities and by ever-larger issues affecting more people worldwide. Today’s environmental challenges—from plastic pollution to global warming—are prime examples. However, one of the major crises afflicting the modern world—chronic generalised anxiety and depression—can be eased, at least somewhat, through recognising and understanding our own thought patterns. This approach can help us grasp why we think the way we do and how we might unwittingly sustain a cycle of needless worry, blinding ourselves to the positives right in front of us. Eliza Vlădescu is part of the editorial team at Signs of the Times Romania and ST Network. A version of this article first appeared on their website and is republished with permission. JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

FREEPIK.COM

sensationalistic and pessimistic. Just consider the prevalence of headlines like “2017 was the worst year, but here comes 2018” or “Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse”. Little wonder that 63 per cent of Americans worry about the country’s future and 59 per cent “consider this the lowest point in US history that they can remember,” according to the American Psychological Association. The cycle concludes with the fact that we require more evidence to believe things are improving, yet are satisfied with minimal proof to conclude they’re getting worse. A study published in 2017 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology confirmed this tendency. On one hand, this mechanism is helpful, allowing us to act quickly when we detect a decline. On the other, in the digital age, it can lead to thought patterns resulting in risky decisions. For instance, uncertainty observed in some of the 38 countries studied about the non-existent link between vaccines and autism—thoroughly refuted by the medical community— can affect both individual and public health. Believing other people think and feel as we do can lead to unexpected events we struggle to comprehend or process constructively, such as the 2024 election of Donald Trump or 2016’s Brexit. Today, it seems that information itself has become the enemy of idealism. But if we could look just a bit further, perhaps by exploring the works of psychologist Steven

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Simple Purpose At some point, we all ask the question, “What am I here for?” Some think it’s happiness, freedom or success. While hiking through Nepal, I wondered if it could be something else. ZANITA FLETCHER

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ecently, I went trekking in Nepal. Sometimes upon returning from a trip, I feel the pressure to return with exciting stories—the near-death experiences and anecdotes that leave people wide-eyed and laughing. But upon reflecting on my time away, it was the simple moments that stuck with me: the cups of masala tea at the end of a long day’s trek; the mountain air with subtle notes of steamed rice and yak dung; the local children that would run onto the track and give flowers to passing hikers; the colourful flags strung over swinging bridges and milky white rivers; the parade of donkeys that would announce their oncoming with bells (a saving grace when you needed a reason to pull over for a breather). And most of all, the Nepali people with their big, patient hearts and tendency to dance JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

after every one of life’s wins. Among these were my guides, a father-and-son pair from the small mountain town of Lukla, where the Everest Route begins. They were two of the happiest, most selfless people I’ve met and always wore a smile—even when they were carrying the equivalent of their body weight strapped to their heads or tending to our altitude-stricken side effects and picky meal requests. As I got to know them, I learned they didn’t have an easy life. Their work was hard, opportunities few, they didn’t own much and they’d faced more tragedies than most. Still, the father would look out over the mountains and say, “I’m so happy!” 34

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. . . always followed by a little chuckle and a long exhale. I got the break I was hoping for in Nepal, but I also returned feeling conflicted about my priorities back home. It was a familiar feeling that I’ve only ever experienced upon returning from a country less fortunate than mine—the feeling that somewhere along the line, I’d forgotten what life is about and allowed other things to take precedence.

the search for purpose

Having a purpose in life not only gives us a sense of peace and direction but it’s also associated with living longer. One study showed that people with a high score for “purpose in life” were nearly 50 per cent less likely to die from all causes.¹ For thousands of years, everyone from philosophers to scientists, to writers and intellectuals, to you and I, have grappled with the questions, “What am I here for?” “What is this all about?” Some avoid going there as it causes too much anxiety. Some

tionships are what life is all about. Of the Ten Commandments, four deal with our relationship to God and six deal with our relationships with people. But all 10 are about protecting relationships. “Love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, His command is this: Live a life of love” (2 John 1:6, NCV2). Or in other words, “Let love be your greatest aim” (1 Corinthians 14:1, TLB3). In 2007, the Gallup organisation asked people around the world whether they felt they were leading meaningful lives. Surprisingly, Liberia was the country where people felt the greatest sense of meaning and purpose, while the Netherlands was the country where people felt the least sense of purpose. This wasn’t because Liberia was better off. The opposite was true. But in the turmoil of their lives, the people had to make commitments with each other to survive and this gave them a deep sense of meaning. As author David Brooks says, “That’s the paradox of

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spend their whole lives trying to figure it out. Some just shrug it off. Many decide their purpose is to be free, successful or happy. But freedom for one is not necessarily freedom for all. Success makes us preoccupied, working jobs we hate to pay bills, accomplish materialistic goals and buy things we barely use. And, at the end of it, many still find themselves with a stomach-level sadness, burned out or unsatisfied. Then there’s happiness, which has us chasing one pleasure after another, never finding true contentment. I believe our purpose is to love and be loved. Maybe this comes after working in the mental health space, having heard so many clients fret over their purpose and in the next breath unpack the struggles they’re facing in their relationships. Or maybe it’s from spending my twenties backpacking, seeing that across cultures and nations, some of the happiest people have nothing but those around them. In the Bible, God says that rela-

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privilege. When we are well-off, we chase the temporary pleasures that actually draw us apart. We use our wealth to buy big houses with big yards that separate us and make us lonely. But in crisis we are compelled to hold closely to one another in ways that actually meet our deepest needs.”4 Nepal, too, is a country where unemployment rates are high, the healthcare and education systems are broken and many live in poverty. Even so, the 2021 World Happiness Report ranked Nepal as the happiest country in south Asia.5 Often we act as if our relationships are something to be squeezed into our schedule. We talk about making time for loved ones, children and friends as though they’re just a task in our lives alongside many others. Meanwhile, the most common regret of the dying is they wished they’d spent more time with loved ones. Nobody ever wishes

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they’d hustled harder or spent more time watching Netflix. And unless you’re Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison, how you treat people will likely have far more of an impact on the world than anything you do.

it’s all about you

So, if relationships matter most in life, why do we allow them to get the short end of the stick? Around the 1960s, the West started to embrace a hyper-individualistic way of living. Fast-forward a few decades and this emphasis has led to a huge rise in mental illness, suicide, loneliness, the breakdown of families and mistrust. Society tells us, “Chase your dreams!” “Do what you love!” But not only does that fail to fulfil many of our deepest longings, it also isn’t the reality for much of the world. I expected, I might return from Nepal ecstatic to have accomplished the hike I set out on, in awe of the mountain views I saw and happy for all the momo dumplings and tea I consumed in between. Instead, it

be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” This time of the year is typically when we start making plans to workout more, get a promotion, save money . . . fill in the blank. As you begin another year, take a moment to ask yourself this: “How can I become a more loving individual?” May you learn vicariously through my trip to Nepal that love and relationships are the most important things of all. As corny as it may sound, that’s something we can all work towards—from you and I, to the sherpas far away in the Nepalese mountains. Zanita Fletcher is a life coach and assistant editor for the Australia/New Zealand edition of Signs of the Times. She writes from the Gold Coast, Queensland. 1. <pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19414613/> 2. Scripture taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. 3. Scripture quotations are taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Foundation, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. 4. Brooks, D. and Morey, A. (2019) The second mountain: The quest for a moral life. New York: Random House Audio. 5. <collegenp.com/news/nepal-ranked-87th-happiest-country-in-world>

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was the uncapped time with people new and old that did it for me. They stirred in me the desire to be warmer, more generous, more gentle. They reminded me countless times each day, “Bistari, bistari”—Slowly, slowly. Enjoy the journey. There’s no need to rush. And they had me coming home thinking, “Wow, those were the most incredible people I have ever met. How can I be more like them?” I know that having love as our purpose doesn’t specifically answer the question, “What should I do with my life?”—especially when thinking of one’s vocation. But on whatever path you find yourself—whether in a law firm or scrubbing dishes at a café, travelling the world or abiding in your hometown, going through school or settling into retirement—my advice is this: take love with you wherever you go. Make it your goal to work on yourself and your relationships. Seek out role models and perhaps become a role model yourself. No doubt you’ll find yourself inhabiting opportunities and feeling more fulfilled as a result. Life was not meant to be travelled alone. We are shaped by relationships, nourished by relationships and we long for relationships. That desire transcends race, religion, gender, class and age. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to

how to win at parenting

Want to start the new school year on the right foot? Here are some back-to-school tips that will help make that transition from holidays to school a lot easier.

are a few things we can do to make the transition back to school easier—the most important of which is to introduce a better sleep routine.

School holidays are a great break from the hustle and bustle of normal routine. Homework gets forgotten, packed lunches are mostly unnecessary and bedtimes are stretched. School holidays are also, sadly, coming to an end. There

“Research shows that good sleep helps [kids] regulate their emotions and concentrate—no-one wants a cranky kid or an after-school tantrum,” says Dr Alex Agostini, a sleep expert from the University of South Australia.

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KAMPUS—PEXELS

Successfully going back to school

Here are five ways to enjoy a successful back-to-school transition:

1. earlier bedtime

Move your child’s bedtime five or 10 minutes earlier each night, over the course of a week or two before school starts. This will help their bodies gradually adjust, instead of shocking them with a new routine.

2. eliminate sleep-ins

As school holidays draw to a close, wake them up slightly earlier each morning to help them feel tired enough to go to sleep on time (see tip #1).

3. be homework ready

Have a designated homework station. If possible, give them their own table (or space) with plenty of pencils, textas, crayons and other supplies for homework and assignments. This will make the idea of doing homework a little bit more enticing. It also removes some of the common excuses they’d have to start on homework (“But Mum, I can’t find my pencil . . .”).

5. start early

Don’t wait until the week before school starts to buy supplies. The perfect time is during Christmas and Boxing Day sales. You can also ask family to give school supplies (think pencil cases, diaries and other stationery items) as Christmas presents. Changing behaviours can be hard. Persistence is key. Good luck for the new school year! Want a first day of school printable to commemorate the special day? Our signs range from first day of childcare, first day of kindergarten to first day of Years 1 through to 12. Head over to <mumsatthetable.com/first-day-ofschool-printable/>. Melody Tan is a passionate advocate for empowering mothers through connection, faith and digital engagement. She is project manager of Mums At The Table. She lives in Sydney with her husband and their primary-school-aged son.

4. make paper cutouts of your kids’ feet

Mums At The Table is a multimedia initiative aimed at supporting mothers in their parenting journey through parenting resources, as well as connecting with mums through local events. For more parenting tips, visit <mumsatthetable.com>. JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

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If your child hates shoe shopping, trace the outline of their feet on a piece of paper and cut along the outline. Use the cutout to buy their school shoes. If you’re lucky, you can even buy shoes that are on sale this way.

IS YOUR TEEN VAPING?

Here’s what you need to watch out for. JESSE HERFORD

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COTTONBRO—PEXELS

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GABBY K—PEXELS

magine you’re addicted to Maltesers. You know, the small, round chocolates that when you eat one, you just can’t help but take another. Imagine for a moment that you’re hopelessly dependent on Maltesers. When you get up in the morning, you can’t help but eat one (or five). When you’re on your way to work: Maltesers. Whenever you take a break: Maltesers. Whenever you’re happy: Maltesers. Whenever you’re sad: Maltesers. Whenever you’re stressed: Maltesers. You know it’s not a healthy habit— but you tell yourself it’s not hurting anybody and whatever ill health effects it has on you are probably not that big of a deal anyway. Your friends and family think it’s weird that you’re so reliant on Maltesers and many of them worry if it’ll have effects on them, too. Then, imagine in this bizarre fantasy, that suddenly, Maltesers are banned nationwide. You can’t get them anywhere and you come to the awful realisation that you’re addicted—and now have no way to satisfy your addiction. Though this scenario may sound absurd to you, a parallel version of it is happening now in real-time. From July 1, 2024, in Australia, tobacconists, vape shops, corner stores and the like are no longer permitted to sell vapes of any type. Only pharmacists can do so—and only for the purpose of helping someone quit smoking. From October 1, 2024, in Australia, people aged 18 and under

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are no longer legally able to purchase vapes from anywhere—unless they have a prescription (depending on the state). “We don’t want easy access,” says Professor Renee Bittoun. Bittoun spoke with us a year ago, when in Australia there was little legislation in place to protect against vaping addiction. “We don’t want just anybody being able to buy them in a lolly shop or a 24-hour convenience store.” Bittoun is passionately opposed to vapes due to her decades-long career as a respiratory disease expert. She founded one of the world’s first smokers’ clinics in 1979 and in the same vein, also started one of the first vapers’ clinics just a few years ago. She played a pivotal role in lobbying against the cigarette industry in Australia and is partially responsible for the heavy restrictions on smoking today.

more than a slap on the wrist

Though vapes haven’t been been done away with completely, Bittoun was quick to point out the fines small stores can face if they sell them. “They were a bit of a slap on the wrist a year ago—a couple of thousand dollars if that, which was nothing to a small store. Now, it’s in the many thousands and in fact, in South Australia and Western Australia, it’s in the millions.” It’s also much more expensive to purchase any tobacco product in Australia. “Last time we spoke, I would have told you a pack of cigarettes cost between 40 and 50

Imagine being a teacher in a classroom where a child has just vaped surreptitiously. In half an hour, they’re feeling agitated, distressed, anxious. They can’t concentrate and they’re aggressive.

dollars. Today, you go to your major supermarket, and it could be 70. That’s a lot of money if you’re doing that every day. It was a lot of money a year ago. Now it’s a huge amount of money. And if you’re doing a packet a day, which is commonly what people do, this is much more than your pension if you’re on a pension. Much more.”

is your teen addicted?

MIDJOURNEY

If all this sounds like good news, that’s because it is. Vape consumption is going down but Bittoun warns it’s no reason to rest on our laurels. While the sudden crackdown on vapes nationwide is cause to celebrate, the sudden inaccessibility is a real potential problem for parents whose teens have become addicted. “Keep in mind, nicotine is a very short-acting drug, which means it wears off very quickly. Imagine being a teacher in a classroom where a child has just vaped surreptitiously. In half an hour, they’re feeling agitated, distressed, anxious. They can’t concentrate and they’re aggressive.

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Class isn’t over yet, so they can’t get out of there. So, they’re not very nice, they’re not very happy, they want to vape, and some of those kids I know run out of the classroom, do it under their shirts and then they’ll get in trouble.” The burning question on my mind was what the signs of vaping in teenagers are. “Most importantly, it’s the agitated behaviour,” Bittoun says. “Keep in mind, we’re talking about adolescents who are already moody to start with. But if they’re unusually moody, it may be a sign. Hiding it is difficult, too. Can you smell it in the house? If it’s pineapple-flavoured, you might. But sometimes they’re very good at hiding that, too. We don’t want to go down the route of parents testing their children, because it’s very unpleasant and probably in terms of negotiating with your child, it’s counterproductive. “Are they going to become unwell from it?” muses Bittoun. “They may become ill—not from vaping, I mean. But from not vaping. Mood and

behaviour changes can all be signs of withdrawal Nicotine itself raises your heart rate. What we’re seeing in emergency rooms all around the country is children fainting from vaping. They’ll faint because their heart rate suddenly goes up really quickly, which can lead to fainting. The problem is, they don’t usually disclose they’ve been vaping because, of course, mum and dad are there. Standard procedure in all emergency departments is to test for drugs but they don’t necessarily test for nicotine. So, we’re trying to convince hospitals to add nicotine testing to their standard procedures.”

dangers down the road

It’s still early days for vaping, and while I hope we never have to find out, I was curious as to whether researchers have discovered long-term effects on people who vape regularly. “Probably the stand-out is the effects vaping has on the heart. In particular, young peoples’ hearts, as I mentioned already. What we’re seeing now is otherwise-healthy young people suffering cardiovascular effects from vaping. Is there a risk of lung cancer? We don’t know, as lung cancer doesn’t manifest within a year or two of smoking. We’ve had maybe five years of vaping, so we’ve probably got another five-to-ten years to wait and see. I always advise people that it’s better to not do it and then find out later.” Bittoun warns that it’s not just your heart that’s at risk.

“The other thing is that dentists are seeing changes in oral mucosa, which they’re particularly concerned about now. We’re always wary of leukoplakia—when your tongue is white. There’s more leukoplakia with kids who vape, as well as the dental issues. We also don’t know how the flavourings vapes come in, when mixed with the vape itself, will affect you long-term. Who knows what effects those chemicals will have?” If my conversation with Professor Bittoun could be summed up in one word, it would be “bittersweet”. The public health wins Australia has achieved in the past 12 months are remarkable. To move on vapes so quickly is, frankly, astonishing and it’s in no small part thanks to people like Bittoun. The “bitter” part, however, is the knowledge that even if vapes become effectively illegal (which they very nearly are for most people right now), there will still persist an illegal market all-too-eager to satisfy (for the right price) the addiction of those who got addicted when vapes were cheap and easy. I’m hopeful that vaping won’t have the monolithic dominance smoking once had in our country. It remains up to each of us to not tolerate vaping in whatever form we find it—for our own sake, and for the sake of our children. Jesse Herford is a pastor and associate editor for the Australia/New Zealand edition of Signs of the Times. He lives in Canberra, Australia with his wife, daughter and miniature schnauzer.

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Faith can be tricky sometimes. That’s why, in this column, I’ll address some of the most common questions people have about faith, religion and the Bible. Why are Seventh-day Adventists so focused on the end of the world? Author and leadership guru Simon Sinek has a popular book titled Start with Why. In it, he argues that great leaders aren’t driven by a what, but a why. Most Christians’ why is saving people from hell. Most Christians believe that when you die, your soul will be transported to heaven or hell for either eternal bliss, or eternal suffering. Therefore, any evangelism done by the average Christian is driven by that underlying motivation. Seventh-day Adventists aren’t motivated in the same way. We don’t believe in a literal burning

hell, wherein people will suffer for eternity. Seventh-day Adventists can’t conceive of a God who would permit or take pleasure in eternal punishment as a result of temporary transgressions. Instead, we are motivated by the conviction that Jesus is returning soon. Whereas some might see that as something to fear, for us, it’s the most hopeful perspective. Don’t misunderstand me: Seventh-day Adventists do believe that our choices will have eternal consequences. Revelation 20:15 tells us, “Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.” In other words, death, not eternal suffering, awaits those who choose not to put their trust 46

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in Jesus. For those whose hope is in Jesus, their pain will be overtaken by joy as “death and Hades are thrown into the lake of fire” (Revelation 20:14). The second coming of Jesus is the day I look forward to most. I look forward to the day when all injustice will be dealt with. I look forward to the day when my loved ones who have passed away are restored to full life and full health. I look forward to the day when this world, broken as it is, is restored to its original beauty. I look forward to the day when all suffering, sickness and death will be no more. That’s my why. Why do Seventh-day Adventists go to church on Saturday rather than on Sunday? It’s true that most Christians attend church on Sunday. But to Seventh-day Adventists, Sabbath is so much more

than just a day you go to church on. In the Genesis narrative, Sabbath is God’s final act of creation. It’s a day when He and all creation rest: animals, plants and people. Sabbath has been observed by the Jews for millennia and early Christians likewise observed it. Jesus calls Himself the “Lord of the Sabbath” (Matthew 12:8). He also affirms that Sabbath is a day for doing justice (Matthew 12:12) and that it was made for our own good (Mark 2:27). Jewish theologian and philsopher Abraham Heschel called the Sabbath “the climax of living”—and said that in the Sabbath, we find the pinnacle of life’s joys. Heschel set Sabbath against the material world we all live in, arguing that humans cannot find

God in material space, as the pagans thought. Rather, he says, “Where shall the likeness of God be found? There is no quality that space has in common with the essence of God. There is not enough freedom on the top of the mountain; there is not enough glory in the silence of the sea. Yet the likeness of God can be found in time, which is eternity in disguise.” Sabbath is much more than just a day you go to church on. Sabbath is the greatest opportunity to meet God where He lives—in time itself. Sabbath is a reminder that we are not just flesh and bone. Rather, we inhabit eternity and must reckon with how we relate to it. Sabbath is good for all people. As early Adventist pioneer Ellen White said, “The Sabbath was not for Israel merely, but for the world.” It is the day when we set aside all work and rest, guilt-free. It is the day we

fully embrace those we love most, putting them first. It is the day we serve the people around us, doing justice wherever we see a need. It is the day we turn our attention away from our worries, focusing on God and intentionally connecting with Him. More than ever, the Sabbath is a vital practice in a world that’s becoming ever more complicated, ever more busy and ever more divided. Want to get your question published in the next issue? Ask Jesse a question by scanning this code!

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

Five things

I learned from my divorce The five self-promises that are key to navigating separation in a healthy and sustainable way, and rebuilding a life that you love.

ANDRII ZASTROZHNOV—GETTY IMAGES

SELINA MILLERS

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ith the median duration of marriage being only 13 years, many of us will face the heartache of a relationship ending. Experiencing a separation or divorce is sadly all too common. As someone who has navigated the turbulent waters of separation, I understand the emotional rollercoaster that follows. It’s a time filled with sadness, anger, rejection and fear, all of which can take a toll on your overall wellbeing.

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You may find that what felt urgent in the heat of the moment seems less critical after some time has passed

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Research shows separated or divorced individuals are almost three times more likely to suffer from serious mental illness compared to those who are married. The statistics are sobering—but there is hope. I’ve made it my mission to support women as they reclaim control and find empowerment post break-up. Drawing from my background in psychology and family law, along with my personal experience, I’ve identified five self-promises that are key to navigating separation in a healthy and sustainable way and rebuilding a life that they love.

1. the 24-hour rule

In the early days of my separation, my emotions were all over the place. I found myself reacting impulsively, which often made things worse. Then I discovered the power of waiting 24 hours before responding to emotionally charged situations. This simple rule allowed me to process my feelings and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. It’s not about suppressing your emotions but giving yourself space to react with clarity and purpose. When you’re going through a break-up, emotions can be incredibly volatile. It’s natural to want to react immediately, especially when you feel hurt or angry. Yet these immediate reactions are often driven by intense emotions that can cloud your judgement. By giving yourself a 24-hour pause, you allow the initial emotional surge to subside, making room for

a more measured and thoughtful response. For instance, if your ex sends a message that triggers an emotional reaction, instead of firing back a quick reply, take a step back. Give yourself time to breathe, reflect and consider your response. You may find that what felt urgent in the heat of the moment seems less critical after some time has passed. This approach not only helps in reducing conflict but also fosters better communication, especially when shared children are a factor.

2. positive affirmations

During dark moments, positive affirmations became my lifeline. It’s easy to fall into a negative spiral when dealing with a break-up, but affirmations helped me shift my mindset and stay focused on the one thing that counts: myself. By focusing on statements that reinforced my strength and resilience, I gradually started to see myself in a more positive light. Practising gratitude and affirmations can counteract negative thoughts and help you maintain a positive outlook. Affirmations are powerful because they work on a subconscious level. When you repeat positive statements about yourself and visualise them, you start to internalise them. Over time, these affirmations can change your thought patterns and help you build a stronger, more resilient mindset. For example, telling yourself, “I

am strong and capable” or “I have powerful boundaries and I respect them daily” can help counteract the negative self-talk that often accompanies a break-up.

3. understanding control

One of the hardest lessons I learned was understanding what I could and couldn’t control. You can’t control how others think, feel or act—but you can control your reactions. By focusing on my actions and responses, I found a sense of empowerment. This shift in perspective helped me navigate the chaos with more grace and composure, focusing on what I could influence. During a break-up, it’s common to feel overwhelmed by a sense of loss or control. You might find yourself trying to influence your ex’s feelings or actions, hoping to change the outcome. However, this approach is often futile and can lead to increased frustration and distress. Recognising this and accepting that you can only control your own actions is liberating. It allows you to redirect your energy towards areas where you can make a difference. For example, instead of trying to change your ex’s mind about the break-up, focus on how you can respond to the situation in a way that supports your wellbeing. This might mean setting boundaries, seeking support or doing something you love. By focusing on what you can control, you reclaim your power and begin JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

to build a life that aligns with your values and needs.

4. reflection

Looking back on my past was painful, but it was also incredibly healing. Journalling my experiences allowed me to understand myself better. Journalling becomes a powerful tool for processing your emotions and turning past challenges into stepping stones for your future. Reflection helps you self-assess, to see how far you’ve come and where you want to go next. Reflection is an essential part of the healing process. It allows you to process your experiences, understand your emotions and gain insight into your behaviour and patterns. This self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and development. By taking the time to reflect on your past, you can identify what worked, what didn’t and how you can apply

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these lessons moving forward. Journalling is a particularly effective way to engage in reflection. Writing down, or even drawing, your thoughts and feelings can provide clarity and perspective. It can help you identify recurring patterns in your relationships and understand the underlying issues. By making reflection a regular practice, you can turn your past experiences into valuable lessons that guide your future choices.

5. professional help

Friends and family were a great source of comfort for me but I soon realised they couldn’t provide the expert guidance I needed. Seeking professional advice was a gamechanger. Accessing professionals offered the objectivity and expertise that my loved ones couldn’t provide, due to bias. Balancing support from friends with professional guidance

3.4 million Australians aged 16–85 have seen a health professional for their mental health in the previous 12 months. With the increase in Australians seeking mental health support, the need for professional guidance post-separation is more crucial than ever.

reclaim your life

Remember, the end of a relationship, while painful, can also mark the beginning of a new and better chapter. Your life doesn’t end here. By embracing these self-promises, you can navigate the early stages of separation with strength and clarity, paving the way for a brighter future. Selina Millers has a deep-seated passion for guiding individuals through the tumultuous journey of closing one door and opening another. Selina holds bachelor degrees in both law and psychology, and specialises in post-separation trauma and reinvention research. A version of this article first appeared on <mumsatthetable.com> and is republished with permission.

EVA L—GETTY IMAGES

ensured I received comprehensive help tailored to my situation. During a break-up, it’s natural to turn to friends and family for support. However, they may not be able to address the full spectrum of challenges you’re facing without letting their own personal opinion cloud their judgement. Professional guidance can fill this gap and offer specialised knowledge and tools to help you navigate the complexities of separation. Whether it is psychological support, financial advice or legal expertise, professionals can provide a safe space to explore your situation, work through your challenges and develop effective coping strategies. After all, knowledge is power. By seeking professional support and not only friend support, you’re getting the comprehensive help you need to heal and grow. ABS data states approximately

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NATALIA KHIMICH—GETTY IMAGES

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Sometimes, we all feel torn, worn out and beyond repair. When that happens, Jesus has good news for you. OLIVIA FAIRFAX

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

RICARDO GOMEZ ANGEL—UNSPLASH

am convinced that there are two types of people in this world. The first are those who, when they get a hard-to-remove stain on an item of clothing, throw the item away. The second are those who try every method under the sun to salvage that item of clothing or will choose to wear it despite the stain. I tend to be the kind of person not to give up on my clothes—and my wardrobe is certainly a testament to that fact! I have a collection of clothes in a box at the end of my bed which have stains or marks or need fixing in some way . . . most of which are beyond repair. But I haven’t the heart to give up on them just yet. When I really love an item of clothing, I will do everything it takes to repair it before I will concede to

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throw it away. Some may see this as a problem . . . I prefer to see it as a virtue. Perhaps a pair of jeans with a tear in the knee can be cut up into shorts. Perhaps that cardigan with a pulled thread can be fixed up with a crochet hook and some extra thread. Or maybe that shirt with a stain on it can be scrubbed and bleached until it looks like new. You see, just because a nasty stain seems to have “ruined” an item of clothing that doesn’t mean it is completely beyond restoration. A little bit of love and care can restore it to its original condition from the mess it has become. The same goes for people. The truth is, each of us is stained and torn, with damaged places inside us which need restoration, healing

and cleansing. We have all felt pain, cried, done things we regret or questioned our worth. When circumstances come upon us which leave us feeling this way, we may question whether these “stains” have made our lives irreparable. We wonder whether our hearts can ever experience newness of life again after all the damage and mess they have endured. But just as with well-loved clothes, sometimes people just need a good wash and some tender, loving care to remind them of their true worth. This is what the Bible refers to when it speaks about the idea of baptism. In the Bible, baptism is the act of being submerged in and lifted out of water, symbolising being washed and made new. It involves being restored to a better-than-brandnew condition through the love of Jesus, who cleanses us from our past. You see, Jesus is the second type of person in this laundry analogy—a clothes hoarder like me; He is willing to try every method under the sun to salvage a person rather than casting them aside to be destroyed. There is a story in the Bible that encapsulates this truth beautifully. When Jesus was on earth, he made a journey to Samaria, a town that was despised by the rest of Israel. These people had intermarried with other nations and had set up a temple in opposition to the temple in Jerusalem. The Samaritans were considered the filth of the earth by the Jews, second only to the occupy-

ing Romans. When travelling around Israel, most Jews would go out of their way to avoid Samaria—but Jesus didn’t. He intentionally stopped there to meet a woman by a well. We are never given this woman’s name, but it is not difficult to imagine that she had been called a “home wrecker”; “slut”; “whore” or “harlot”. She had had five husbands and was now living with a man she was not married to. She had made poor choices, though they were probably not all her fault. She was an outcast among outcasts, rejected by even the Samaritans. To say her life was complicated would be an understatement. This was a woman whose “clothes” had many stains and tears which she ashamedly tried to patch up on her own, but to no avail. The damage done to her reputation through her circumstances and choices was beyond repair. She had no hope of forging any kind of respectable future for herself, and instead clung to the few comforts she had left, making the most of her tainted life. Perhaps all that remained for her, like badly damaged clothes, was to be discarded on the garbage heap of life. But Jesus knows that even the nastiest of stains can be lifted with a little bit of tender love and care. In His conversation with this woman, Jesus refused to give up on her— despite her constant deflections, distractions and objections to His kindness. The woman gave Jesus every reason to give up on her—like JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

IMAGE SUPPLIED

Jesus is willing to try every method under the sun to salvage a person, rather than casting them aside to be destroyed everyone else had. But Jesus isn’t like everybody else. He saw her value and offered her a new life in Him, washed clean of her past. Interestingly, the exchange between Jesus and this woman is the longest recorded conversation anyone had with Jesus in the entire Bible. What made this woman deserving of such a lengthy conversation? She was no-one special. She had done nothing worthy of any praise in her lifetime, nor would she go on to do anything especially remarkable. Her life was a mess, filled with shame, mistakes and heartbreak. But perhaps this lengthy conversation was reflective of the fact that Jesus took His time with this woman, overcoming each of the cultural, psychological and emotional barriers she put up, proving to her that she was not a hopeless case. She was not beyond restoration. That she could, through His love, be made new.

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Upon realising Jesus’ relentless love for her, the woman accepted His gift of a new life and received “spotless” clothes, so to speak. She came to the well that day broken, stained and hopeless, but it was a joyful woman who walked away from that well, inwardly cleansed and full of hope. Jesus sees our true value as children of God and seeks to do everything to mend our brokenness. He seeks to wash us and make us new. The Bible speaks about this in Ezekiel 36:25-27, “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” This is what baptism is all about— it is a symbolic demonstration that through Jesus, the mess of our lives has been washed away, replaced with a future of peace, joy and hope. It is a declaration of our stepping away from a life of shame, burdens and “stains”—and instead stepping into a life made new as a beloved child of God. Olivia Fairfax is an eager student in all things psychology, theology and literature. She enjoys spending her time writing, learning and investing in people. She writes from Sydney, Australia.

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

TOP TIPS FOR A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP Don’t let your sleep suffer.

BURST—PEXELS

You’ll thank yourself later.

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n our busy lives with long working hours, travel time, family commitments and social events, it’s easy for our sleep to suffer. But getting regular, restful sleep is crucial for good health. It gives your body much needed time to repair and restore itself, keeps your immunity strong and makes you more resistant to illness. So, what can you do for better sleep?

during the day but slow down your water intake in the evening so that you don’t need to make frequent trips to the bathroom. Try not to eat too late. Have dinner at least 2-3 hours before your bedtime and avoid heavy, rich foods. As your bedtime approaches, choose quiet activities that help you wind down. Avoid screen time if you can.

1. like clockwork

3. make it cosy

One of the most important things you can do to help maintain good sleep is to keep it regular. Try going to sleep and waking up at the same time each day, even on weekends if you can. Aim for around 7–8 hours of sleep each night—some people may need a little more, others a little less. Be smart about napping. If you like to nap during the day, make sure you keep it to no more than 30 minutes or you may have trouble sleeping at night.

2. preparation is key

There are things you can do during the day to help make the most of your snooze time at night. Avoid “sleep stealers” like caffeine, alcohol and nicotine. Regular exercise will boost your energy during the day and prepare your body for a better sleep at night. Hydrate well in the morning and

If you can, try to make your place of sleep as quiet and cosy as possible. Use soft lighting and keep your bedroom or sleeping area at a comfortable temperature. If you can, invest in a comfortable and supportive mattress and pillows. Remove unnecessary distractions like your television, radio, laptop and mobile phone.

did you know?

Depriving your body of sleep will increase your body’s insulin resistance, making it easier for you to gain weight! Getting a good night’s sleep is fundamental to being able to live a happy, healthy life. If you’ve tried these tips and you’re still having trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor or a qualified sleep professional.

Article courtesy of Sanitarium Health Food Company. Visit sanitarium.com.au or sanitarium.co.nz and subscribe to Recipe of the Week for a delicious plant-powered recipe in your inbox each week. JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES.ORG.AU

CROSSWORD

Crossword Puzzle

How closely have you been reading? (Almost) every keyword in this puzzle is also contained within this edition of Signs of the Times. Happy digging!

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SUDOKU

crossword clues DOWN 1 Nicknamed “Wippa” 2 This has fallen by 20 per cent in the past 40 years 3 Nostalgia for the past 4 Capital of the Eastern Highlands Province in Papua New Guinea 5 As of October 1, 2024, under-18s can’t buy this in Australia 11 The happiest country in south Asia

easy

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hard

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TAYEH—UNSPLASH

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ACROSS 6 The region modern Palestinians call “Mount Nablus” 7 A method of turning past challenges into stepping stones for your future 8 A town at the base of the Everest route 9 The phenomenon whereby something gets easier the more you do it 10 Foundation named after Molly Russell 12 Not getting enough sleep makes it easier for you to gain this

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SOLUTIONS AVAILABLE ONLINE SIGNSMAG.COM/FUN JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2025 • SIGNSMAG.COM

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