STUBBORN FAITH

When you’re angry at God, pray. When there’s nothing left that’s worth saying, pray.

BY NATHAN BROWN

STUBBORN FAITH

On a number of occasions during his writing life, Nobel Prize winner and author Elie Wiesel tried to re-tell the story of a profound experience he’d had as a young boy in the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz. He wrote a play, a novel and even a cantata to try to re-create his memory of this event, each of which remained unpublished. Finally, he wrote another play, set in another time and location, to try to capture the spirit of the event, which was published in 1979 as The Trial of God. But his re-imagining of the story remains less compelling than even a brief re-telling of the experience itself.

Amid the terrors of the camp, a scholar of Judaism befriended 15-year-old Wiesel and invited him to study together whenever they had opportunity, as “their act of religious defiance”. One evening, the scholar took Wiesel back to his barracks, where they met with two other highly accomplished Jewish legal scholars. Together, these three scholars had decided to put God on trial for the suffering and horror they were witnessing around them, for “allowing His children to be massacred”.

With Wiesel as the only audience, the three scholars argued the case against God over a number of evenings. With all the available evidence compiled, all the arguments made, the scholars arrived at a unanimous verdict: “The Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, was found guilty of crimes against creation and humankind.”

Their solemn conclusion reached, the participants in the makeshift courtroom fell silent. The silence was only interrupted when one of them noted that it was time for evening prayers—and then together they recited the traditional evening service.

Their faith demanded a verdict

against God, which gave way to silence . . . and then to worship. This story is equally awe-inspiring, troubling and challenging. And it encapsulates the central tension of faith.

At least to some degree, faith offers an explanation of “life, the universe and everything” as author Douglas Adams put it. It provides a rationale for how things are, an overview of what matters most, perhaps glimpses of the Power at work behind our physical world and everyday lives, and an expectation of how things ought to be. Faith then sketches out some principles for how to live well within these realities, as well as prompting us to look for, to hope for and even to work for something more.

But then life happens—in all its tragedy, beauty and ordinariness— and the explanations, rationales and expectations of faith seem to fall short at exactly the moment when we most need faith. Our faith is disappointed, our God is guilty or absent at best, the universe seems not as good as we had hoped and our best “living well” seems to count for little. And when our best believing feels like it has turned to dust, we most need faith.

In that “eternity of silence”—as Wiesel would later describe it— between the damning verdict on the failures and disappointments of faith and the time for evening prayers, we choose faith or not. Some would seek to diminish this silence with arguments about our incomplete knowledge and inadequate understanding—but these are the problems, not the answers. That we work with human limitations of perspective and insight is reason for both our need for faith and why our faith is so fraught.

When it seems God is guilty of tragic and criminal neglect, we need evening prayers more than ever.

When our best efforts at doing good in the world seem to achieve nothing or worse, we need to choose the next good thing. Somehow, amid the silences that follow tragedy and disappointment, we need to go on. And faith offers us the best possibility of this.

This is why worship is such an important element of faith. To worship is to look outside ourselves and our present circumstances. Worship is the choice to break

the silence of “ disappointment and tragedy with prayer—because it is time to pray, rather than waiting for our feelings to come around. Rather than re-starting the argument, restating the verdict or lapsing into permanent silence, we speak into this silence and break the power of the silence.

This “going through the motions” might sound counterintuitive when we place so much store in the value of authenticity, but acting on what we believe, beyond what we can be sure of and before we feel like it, is precisely what we mean when we talk about faith. In this sense, worship is choosing to act in faith: “We think that if we don’t feel something there can be no authenticity in doing it,”

wrote The Message Bible translator, Eugene Peterson. “But the wisdom of God says something different: that we can act our way into a new way of feeling much quicker than we can feel ourselves into a new way of acting. Worship is an act that develops feelings for God, not a feeling for God that is expressed in an act of worship.” The story of those three Jewish scholars and the young Wiesel that night in the barracks of the Auschwitz death camp is haunting. In . . . amid those horrific circumstances, the silences that follow finding God guilty of crimes against creation tragedy . . . we and humanity seems so devasneed to go on. tatingly just. In those horrific circumstances, an “eternity of silence” seems the only appropriate thing to offer. In those horrific circumstances—at the time for evening prayers—reciting the evening service seems the only human response, a courageous and humble act of religious defiance and stubborn faith. Nathan Brown is book editor at Signs Publishing Company in Warburton, Victoria. His new Middle East travel memoir, Of Falafels and Finding Jesus, is available free for all new/additional Signs of the Times subscribers who use the coupon code FALAFEL while subscribing at <signsofthetimes.org.au>.

the dos and don’ts of WORKPLACE ROMANCE

It can be a minefield, as too many media-highlighted disasters demonstrate. But since so many relationships begin at work, what can we do to keep them as safe and respectful as possible?

BY SUZANNE BOCKING

The current attention workplace relationships are receiving is enormous and mostly for not-sogood reasons. The media goes wild when high-profile individuals get involved with someone from their workplace. And if they’re already married to someone else, well . . . it only adds fuel to the fire.

Dating a co-worker is common and according to some studies as many as 40 per cent of employees have participated in a workplace romance. Considering the proportion of our waking hours we spend at work, it’s not surprising. I married my workplace crush so I’m definitely not against the concept, but then again we had very clear boundaries, we told a person at work whom we both respect to keep us accountable, and neither of us were married or dating anyone else. While a romantic relationship can certainly make it more interesting to come into work on a Monday, there are also some dangers involved— developing a negative reputation in your HR department or getting in trouble for workplace harassment, for example.

Having worked in HR and as a counsellor, I’ve seen some of these relationships improve a person’s career and overall wellbeing and other times . . . well, we hear about those in the media.

One such case fairly recently relates to the now-infamous movie producer, Harvey Weinstein. The details around his alleged sexual harassment and sexual abuse triggered the worldwide #MeToo movement, which empowered women—and men too—to speak out about inappropriate conduct. What became apparent is the challenge posed by workplace cultures that discourage disclosure. People fear losing their jobs, not being able to work in their industry any more or having their reputation tarnished.

Just to be clear, “sexual harassment” is unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature that makes a person feel offended, humiliated and/or intimidated where that reaction is reasonable in the circumstances. There can be a fine line between welcome workplace romantic overtures and unwanted sexual harassment. If you are considering embarking on what

40 per cent of the population has done before you, here are some tips on what to do and what not to do.

DON’T CONSIDER GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU OR THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT AVAILABLE. If it’s you who’s already in a relationship, put the same focus, attention and energy into your current partner that you’re feeling for your crush. If the other person is already in a relationship, don’t go there. Just don’t. Respect the other person enough to leave them right where they are. There are plenty more fish in the sea without you breaking a relationship up.

DON’T DATE YOUR MANAGER OR SOMEONE WHO REPORTS TO YOU. Power differences are very noticeable in workplaces. If you end up dating your boss and it doesn’t go so well you could find yourself out of a job. If you date someone who works for you and it doesn’t work out you could have a harassment claim against you and risk your position. Even if it does work out it will be hard to remove the power differential in other areas.

DON’T TELL THE WHOLE OFFICE ABOUT IT. Let your relationship start out without others’ two cents’ worth. Allow your relationship to grow with some stability before it’s a known thing. (You’ll be answering a lot of questions for a while once you do!)

DO BE AN ETHICAL DATER IN THE WORKPLACE. That involves respecting people and their right to privacy, and respecting a person’s right to say no or to be open with you about it not working out if you have started dating. It means not dating on company time. Ethical workplace dating requires you to not be a serial dater—moving from one person to the next in the organisation—and it also requires you not telling everyone about your relationship without prior consent.

DO MAINTAIN A GOOD WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PERSON WHEN/IF THE RELATIONSHIP ENDS. Most workplace relationships don’t end in marriage so you may need to continue working with your ex after the breakup. If this would be difficult for you, it’s best to give the workplace romance option a miss.

This account comes from a lady whose experience was not positive: “I started to flirt with my boss a little. He showed interest in me when no-one else was around. He would make me feel special and I liked the attention. One day he invited me to a meeting at his apartment, which wasn’t uncommon, but when I showed up no-one else was there. He cornered me and forced me to have sex with him. I was devastated. I felt partly to blame. I told his boss what happened and shortly after I was fired. I was young and decided not to take it further. Now I wish I had. But it wasn’t so much the done thing back then.”

Or then there is the experience like

my own—how I met my husband. We were colleagues for the same organisation, but in different states. I came up to do some work in his region. We were both single so I had put some good boundaries in place from the start just so there wasn’t any pressure for either of us. This gave us time as colleagues to

become friends without anything feeling forced. We found we had a lot in common and really enjoyed each other’s company. I initiated a discussion about seeing where it might go. He thought it was good idea so we both told our family and a trusted colleague—no-one else. We would talk mostly on the phone and sometimes visit one another for a weekend. Once we decided our relationship was going somewhere (about six months later) we shared it with our colleagues and friends—they were all so happy for us. After 18 months we got married. We continue to do work together and it’s wonderful.

While it’s not uncommon to have a workplace relationship, what is

rare is the relationship ending well. Weigh up the pros and cons, seek wisdom from friends, follow the tips provided here and you may do really well. Hey, you might even find the love of your life like I did!

While workplace relationships are common, what’s less common is the relationship ending well.

Suzanne Bocking is a qualified counsellor and adult educator. She lives in Townsville, northern Australia.