TAYLOR SWIFT AND THE MESSIANIC COUNTDOWN

strategies to END the comparison game

1. Gratitude. In all things, find

joy. In her article, “The Importance of Being Grateful”, child psychologist Deborah Jepsen puts it into perspective: “Gratitude promotes optimism and helps us to develop a more positive outlook. It lets us pause for a moment to reflect on something we have in our life right now instead of always striving for more . . . the next goal, the new dress, the new toy, the new car or the house renovation.” Keep a book or journal and practise gratitude daily, writing three to five specific things that you are grateful for. At first this might be hard, but the more you practise the easier it will flow. 2. Take a stroll. When those negative thoughts start to crawl into your mind, take a stroll in your backyard, around the block or even around the room. Walking releases chemicals called endorphins that interact with the brain to improve your mood.

3. Only compare yourself to you.

If you want to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to you! Develop a skill or health practice. Go for your “personal best” like athletes do and, in the end, you will see improvement. Family and wellbeing researcher Dr Deborah Carr says, “By focusing on self-improvement rather than one-upmanship, we’ll have a more realistic and insightful strategy for reaching our goals, and ideally, our friends and loved ones will be there to support us along the way.” 4. Ban negativity. When those dark thoughts make their way into your mind, stop, refocus and say a quick prayer. We have the capacity to control our thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments

and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

5. Go on a social media fast.

If you struggle with Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook or whatever, and you are constantly on these sites comparing yourself to others, then go on a fast. Stop immediately. Stay away from it. As hard as it may be, it will get easier. It takes approximately 21 days to break a bad habit, but it’s achievable. However, if going on a complete fast doesn’t work for you, then start with baby steps and do a social media detox. (Google it!)

6. Focus on your potential and

strengths. Write a list of all your great qualities. Put down on paper all the things that you’re good at and focus on them. If you’re not sure what they are, ask family and friends. You will discover strengths you didn’t even know you had! 7. Find a hobby. Get busy creating! Painting, drawing, playing an instrument, planting a garden, baking, taking photos. . . . All of these things can keep your mind alert and focused on something other than the things that deplete you emotionally. Having a hobby challenges you, keeps your mind busy and gives you the opportunity to develop a new skill, giving you a confidence boost.

8. Get involved in charity work.

Helping others really helps us focus less on ourselves. This might not be possible if you have a young family. However, together with your family, you can dedicate an hour or two a week to visiting sick friends or lonely people in nursing homes and hospitals. You could also organise a charity drive from your home and have friends and family drop food baskets or clothes to your house. Later, with some friends or family members, you can give to the homeless or other charities you choose. The busier you are helping make a difference, the less time you will have to think about yourself in a negative way. 9. Seek professional help. If you are in a dark place—you’re not coping and have spiralled into a deep depression—seek professional help. There’s nothing wrong with seeing someone who can help you and give you tips and strategies to improve your emotional health.

So what happened to Tayla? She worked through this list for many months and it helped. It was slow progress, but with God’s help and a good support group surrounding her, she reached her goal. When she stopped focusing on her weaknesses and on her cousin Isla, she started doing great things.

You too can shift your vision and focus because, as Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Grace Thomas writes regularly for various Christian magazines. She lives with her family in Queensland, Australia. This article is adapted with permission from a piece that first appeared in GIGI magazine. * Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.