In the Flow

by Abram Dickerson

Photo by Nick Danielson

Curiosity, Mystery, and Motivation

Any way you slice it, a consistent running practice requires a huge amount of effort. The daily/tri-weekly/bi-weekly ritual of overcoming one’s own lethargy and lacing up for miles requires cultivating a wellspring of mental fortitude and resilience. Just about any reason to get off the couch and out the door is a good one. But sustaining the practice beyond a few weeks or months and embracing movement as a lifestyle requires honing in on deeper currents of motivation and inspiration.

Volumes have been written on how to create motivation. Visualization, goals, mentors, checklists, systems, and incentives all circulate about how to effectively manifest the possibility of future rewards and events into the reality of present actions. So whether that’s carefully crafting the perfect race calendar (or a moment of alcohol-induced inspiration) resulting in signing up for some epic race in the way-too-near future, we all benefit from stepping out of our comfort zone.

In this respect, running is an act of rebellion. At some fundamental level, our collective socio-economic strivings are an effort to contain and constrain the uncertainty of life. Not that we don’t need food, shelter, and gainful employment to operate in this world, but all too easily, the currents of consumption can swallow the life out of living. It’s easy to fall into the trappings of dedicating an exorbitant amount of effort and resources to create a life that avoids the inevitable mysteries, uncertainties, and curiosities of living. Which begs the question, what are we left with?

I participate in the “system.” I shop on Amazon, burn fossil fuels, pay a mortgage, and look up dinner recipes online. But I also run to remember that all of this is fleeting. I run to play with the edges of the map, to test the limits of my endurance, and to explore the world in its raw, rugged, relentless reality. I am alive when I am intentional about exploring what lies beyond what I know. In this practice, running is about being curious and embracing uncertainty. It’s a process of cultivating tools and techniques to transgress culturally-imposed limitations and to be comfortable in spaces that are uncomfortable and unconventional. In contrast to a world where answers are found online, to disconnect is to reconnect with an internal awareness of ‘Self’ and to give that ‘Self’ space to unfold and reveal itself to itself.

After a long winter of grinding out miles on trails close to home, I’m eagerly anticipating the approaching summer and thinking of all the trails, summits, link-ups, and unfinished projects that will take me into uncharted territory. I’m curious about what lies in the hills, anxious to find myself somewhere new, and motivated to get out the door today, so that tomorrow I can find myself lost all over again.