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Mismatched

Neighbor Laurie Lynn Lindemeier has sworn off online dating for good.

“Internet dating is kind of like LASIK,” she says. “It doesn’t work for everybody.”

Of course Lindemeier has had LASIK three times in each eye (and cataract surgery), but she doesn’t plan to find out if the timeworn adage “third time’s the charm” is true when it comes to internet dating.

Twice was enough.

Lindemeier first started online dating somewhat by accident. She signed up for match.com in 2006 to check something on a friend’s profile. While she was snooping around, a curious search revealed a profile for her ex-husband, whom she’d recently divorced.

“I thought, ‘If he can do it, I can do it,’ ” she remembers with a laugh.

She went on a couple of dates, but overall she wasn’t impressed. Then she found a guy who piqued her interest, and they dated for two years before she determined they had nothing substantial in common.

She stopped dating altogether for a couple of years to deal with the aftermath of her divorce before deciding to try again. This time Lindemeier signed up for eHarmony, hoping she’d have better luck finding a good match since “a scientific approach to compatibility” is eHarmony’s big selling point. She filled out the detailed questionnaire required of new members and soon enough found a match. Kind of.

Lindemeier and eHarmony Guy were different in all the ways that really mattered, as she eventually found out. Lindemeier is an extroverted creative type who thrives on color, warmth and communication, and she uses all those things to express herself via music, painting and writing. eHarmony Guy was a tad too emotionally unavailable for Lindemeier, who never could breach his walls, although she tried — for four years.

Lindemeier was determined to make it work. The couple broke up and got back together once, but after four years Lindemeier finally admitted her “internet match was a mismatch.”

In the end, however, Lindemeier doesn’t see the failed relationship as a total waste of time. She learned an important lesson: Sometimes the checklist comes up short.

“I think it’s a nice concept, but it doesn’t really work,” she says.

“In the end, when I meet somebody and I look them in the eyes, I can tell a whole lot more than a bunch of checkmarks on a list. They can check anything they want off, and it doesn’t have to be true. But you can’t lie to me eye to eye.”

Obviously online dating works for some people, Lindemeier points out, but it has yet to convince her.

“I’m never going to trust it,” she says. “I don’t think it’s as good as face-to-face human