Supernannies

For moms facing serious illnesses, here they come to save the day

Story by Brittany Nunn | Photo by Rasy Ran

East Dallas neighbor Natalie Boyle had no idea that helping out a friend in need would evolve into her own nonprofit. How could she?

When Boyle’s friend, Annie Nace, found out her colorectal cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, she worried about her children. For six months, Nace had relied heavily on childcare support from family and friends, but she was back to square one. With the new diagnosis, she’d have to go through radiation and surgery all over again, and this time she’d even have to do chemo. How could she take care of her children on days when she could barely take care of herself?

Boyle empathized with Nace’s anxieties. Boyle had battled through her own series of health complications all while trying to take care of twins.

In 2011 Boyle was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disease that attacks your colon. It grew worse throughout her pregnancy. Then six weeks after her twin daughters were born, she went to the hospital for a bleeding hemorrhage and had an emer- gency hysterectomy. She later had to have her entire colon removed because of the disease. And to top it all off, a body scan revealed cancer in her thyroid, which she also had removed.

“So within three months I had three totally separate major surgeries,” Boyle remembers. “At the time I had twins and I was a full-time stay at home mom, so when I got really, really sick my parents and my husband’s parents chipped in to help us afford a nanny because there was just no way I could function, and even though my hus- band does really well, we still couldn’t afford a full-time nanny.”

But without that help, Boyle is not sure how she would have gotten through her illness, so she decided that’s what Nace needed as well. Boyle told Nace not to worry; she didn’t know how, but she’d find the money to hire someone.

Boyle implored the help of her old nanny, Bekah Rutludge, who has more than 11 years of experience in the field. She also launched a fundraising campaign, bringing in more than $6,000 in about 10 days to pay for Rutludge’s assistance.

In the end, Boyle was right; a nanny was exactly what Nace needed.

“I had a really hard time recovering from my second surgery, and I started chemo two weeks after that, so I was really not functioning as my normal self,” Nace explains. “It really took a downturn and became so much worse than what we thought it was going to be. Looking back I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t helped.”

But Boyle didn’t stop there. As she continued to raise funds, she soon realized she needed to make her efforts official.

“It got to a point where I was like, ‘Oh, I can’t just have this money sitting in my bank account. I need to start a nonprofit or something,’” Boyle says. “So I met up with a lawyer friend and he helped me figure it out.”

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And that’s how Mommies In Need was born.

“So I basically started a nonprofit by accident,” Boyle quips. “And then once we had our 501(c)3, I just took off with the fundraising.”

She eventually raised enough to hire more nannies to help more families. In just one year Mommies In Need has provided childcare options for more than nine families, and Boyle continues to expand the program to help more, even though running a nonprofit on top of raising 3-year-old twins isn’t easy, especially living under the looming threat that her illness could return.

“I’m only a year out from my most recent surgery,” she points out, “and it’s a full-time job, so I’ve definitely had my days. Some of my family members have been like ‘Natalie, what are you doing to yourself?’”

Then a health scare over the summer forced Boyle to start delegating more and more tasks to her board members so Mommies In Need could function without her.

“During that time I realized I’m so entrenched in what happens here, and if I were to be hospitalized again, I need this to be able to continue to function without me,” Boyle says. “I was literally doing everything, so I start putting some things into place, like having an assistant and bringing on board members who could do things like payroll and home visits.”

However, she’s still the primary fundraiser and vision holder for the organization because her first-hand experience makes her uniquely qualified to understand what families in crisis need.

One thing that’s important to Boyle is ensuring that each family has one nanny assigned to them.

“That way it creates as much consistency as possible in the kids’ lives,” she explains. “We help a lot of families with kids under the age of 5, and those are the kids who have a lot of acting out behaviors with attachment issues. But when you bring in one nanny every day, that’s a steady presence they can count on in their lives.”

In Nace’s case, Rutludge became a part of their family.

“I just didn’t have the physical and mental strength to care for my kids during that time and love on them the way I wanted to,” Nace explains.

But Rutludge helped with the transition by keeping the family’s usual schedule and routines.

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“I think for my kids’ sake, during that time, she was a consistent factor,” Nace says. “So when I didn’t feel good or would disappear for hours, Bekah was there to explain things to [the kids] or love on them. She just became such a great provider for them when I couldn’t, which was huge. We love her to pieces.”

East Dallas mom Jenny Crandall, who began receiving support from Mommies In Need in April after a double mastectomy due to stage-3 breast cancer, feels the same way about the stability Mommies In Need provided for her son, Shepherd.

“During my hardest times when I wasn’t able to pick up Shepherd or get out of bed, Bekah would bring him to me or take him places. So it has been a major source of security,” Crandall says. “It was a lifesaver when, as a mom, I wasn’t able to be at my best because of the weakness and fatigue.”

All these women form a club, a sisterhood known by those who have suffered chronic illness — all thanks to Boyle.

“I think her understanding is one of the key elements behind why [Mommies In Need] is successful,” Crandall says. “It’s instrumental to what she does.”

Boyle’s first-hand experience also helps her pick out the right nannies for Mommies In Need, because it isn’t an easy job.

“They’re not coming in when families are at their best,” Boyle points out. “They’re coming in when people are in pain and they’re suffering. You have a sick mom in the house, and sometimes she’ll feel good and she’ll want to snuggle her kids, and other days she’ll feel horrible and need the kids out of the house. So our nannies have to be able to negotiate those kinds of balances.”

Almost all of the nannies Boyle has hired have cared for her own children at one point, including Rutludge. Rutludge was used to working for families where the par- ents held down hectic jobs with long hours, who relied on her to be a primary caretaker for their children.

“At first I was a little apprehensive about working with a mom in the home,” Rutludge admits. “Stay-at-home moms are used to raising their kids. They make the rules. They’re in control. So you have to understand that dynamic. You have to know when to step in and when to step back.”

Once she struck a balance, it just became second nature. She soon assumed the role of lead nanny, and now she helps Boyle hire and train new nannies.

“It’s important to me that we get good, quality nannies in these homes,” Rutludge explains, “and that they will love these children just like their moms would.”

And although she took a bit of a pay cut when she agreed to sign on with a nonprofit instead of working independently, Rutludge says it was worth it.

“This is definitely the hardest job I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve been in all kinds of situations over the years. This is the most challenging, but it’s also the most rewarding,” she says. “I get to be a ray of light and hope for these families who are going through such a difficult time.”