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underwear. In keeping with her parenting philosophy of allowing her children to express themselves however they like, Marjorie indulged her daughter’s request.

“I just remember how at peace and excited he was,” she says.

This was all harmless enough for a while. Then, in seventh grade, Oliver’s world collapsed.

“I’m getting my period. I’m developing breasts. I’m not biologically male. It just kind of woke me up,” he recalls.

In the Milici household, where both parents work in the medical field, human anatomy is not an uncomfortable subject.

“My mom’s very open about that stuff and likes to talk about it all the time,” Oliver says. “She would give me books to read and stuff, so I knew all about it. I knew it was coming, but I was hoping maybe it wouldn’t come.”

Three months later, he’s lying in his parents’ bed with his mom and older sister, who are sorting through the girls’ earrings. His lack of interest prompts Marjorie to finally insist, “Just tell me what you are. I can’t go on like this. Let’s talk through it.

“At that point, he said, ‘I know I have a female body, and I know I like girls, so I guess I’m a lesbian.’ ”

They learned he was transgender a short time later from the psychologist Oliver had begun seeing that year.

For two years, Oliver hid behind breast binders and baggy clothing at J.L. Long Middle School. At the end of eighth grade, he began transitioning socially. Having always been known as Olivia, the tomboy, he enrolled at Woodrow as Oliver, the boy.

He began traveling to Los Angeles to see a specialist, Dr. Johanna Olson, featured on ABC’s “20/20” as an expert on caring for transgender youth. At the time, such resources existed only on the west and east coasts.

At the end of his freshman year, Oliver began transitioning medically from female to male, receiving testosterone injections. In 11th grade, during Thanksgiving break, he underwent top surgery — a two-stage mastectomy to remove his breasts.

Performing the procedure on a minor is debatable, says pediatric endocrinologist Dr. Ximena Lopez. She runs the new trans- gender program at Children’s Medical Center in Dallas, known as GENECIS (GENder Education and Care, Interdisciplinary Support) — the only program of its kind in the Southwest. Children’s adheres to The Endocrine Society’s clinical practice guidelines, which do not recommend surgery on patients under 18.

“Most surgeons are very wary of doing this,” Lopez says. “I don’t push for it. That’s an irreversible process. If they do it, it’s because the family is experiencing a lot of distress.”

Oliver’s transition had been going well, but when Olson recommended a mastectomy as the next step, Marjorie was stunned.

“It was something Oliver desperately wanted,” she says, but “I certainly thought we would wait for surgery until he was 18. I wasn’t sure I was ready. Of course, Oliver was beyond joyful. He was so excited that she suggested that.”

In addition, Oliver hopes to eventually have bottom surgery, or genital reassignment, but the procedure has not yet been perfected. Lopez says the female-to-male change is more complicated than the reverse, so it’s common for transgender men to wait.

Everyone who knew Oliver, however, did not wait for him to change medically before they began making conscious efforts to call him Oliver and use male pronouns. In tenth grade, he legally changed his name.

“All of my friends were really accepting,” he says. “They’ve known me my whole life, and they just want me to be happy. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

Ashley Bull, a longtime neighborhood resident and nurse at Lakewood Elementary, has known the Milicis since their children were in kindergarten together. Bull’s daughter Rosalie is one of Oliver’s close friends.

“Rosalie was just matter-of-fact about it,” Bull says. “We’re going to call her ‘him.’ ”

During Oliver’s transition, some everyday things became unusual. The first time he went shirtless at a pool party was a little startling, Bull says. But the fact that his parents were so open and accepting made it easier for everyone else.

“We just followed Margie and Justin’s lead,” Bull says. “It’s a big deal, but at the same time, they made it not such a big deal.”

Outside the Milicis’ circle of friends, things were more precarious. One year during his transition, a family walked by them at the Lakewood Home Festival, pointed at Oliver and said, “What is that?”

Oliver doesn’t remember this, but Marjorie does. She replied coolly, “This is Oliver. He’s transitioning. Oliver, you want to tell them about it?”

But even as his parents empowered him, they say others had concerns. At the YMCA’s co-ed Camp Grady Spruce, which he had attended since age 7, he remained in the girls’ cabin the summer before ninth grade. He had started going by Oliver, but had not begun hormone treatment.

“One summer I’m Olivia, and the next summer I’m Oliver,” he says, which made the camp director uncomfortable. Oliver says he was told not to speak of his transition and was heavily supervised around the girls.

Marjorie admits she was “incredibly naïve” sending him off to camp.

“They called me right away,” she says. “He was bawling his eyes out, which is not like Oliver.”

She says the director was looking out for him as much as the other campers but misunderstood what transgender was.

“They didn’t get it,” Marjorie says, “and they weren’t going to get it in two weeks.”

The YMCA says it worked to ensure Oliver had a supportive outlet for the conversation, saying in a statement:

“There is no reason why every person, regardless of gender, income, faith, sexual orientation or cultural background, cannot have the opportunity to enjoy camp to the fullest. We share the values of caring, honesty, respect and responsibility — everything we do stems from it.”

The next year Oliver found a home at the California-based Camp Aranu’tiq for transgender youth, where he met other campers like him. Many had experienced severe bullying, attempted suicide and moved away from their hometowns to start over.

That Oliver was able to stay and transition in the same community that knew him as Olivia is extraordinary — but it

Kate Looney Walters

What a year it has been.

In 2014 the Haven Group joined the incredible team at Dave Perry-Miller Real Estate and it has been such a wonderful experience. I am honored to be selected as one of the Top 25 Realtors in the Lakewood/East Dallas neighborhoods. I grew up here in Lakewood, I still call it home today, and will soon be starting a family here. My clients are what make this job so enjoyable so I want to thank you all for making 2014 such a great year! The East Dallas market is thriving and it should continue to out-sell other markets so contact me if you have buying or selling needs in 2015I would love to work with you! Kate