FIERCE WOMEN

Story by WILL MADDOX / Photos by DANNY FULGENCIO

They’re definitely your dream TED Talk lineup or someone you’d like to sit next to at a cocktail party. These women are boldly transforming their worlds in business, technology, philanthropy, arts, education, medicine, sports and more. Meet some of the interesting women in our neighborhood.

r. Jennifer Lavender knew what she wanted to do when she was still playing with stu ed animals, performing surgery on her toys, foreshadowing her career as a veterinarian. Over the years, she’s worked every job there is in a practice, from shoveling poop in kennels when she was a teenager to owning three locations of Metro Paws today. In her free time, this mother of two spends her weekends in front of hundreds of cheering fans as her alter ego “velVET Lavender,” the captain of the High Seas Hotties roller derby team. The Lakewood native ducks, dips and dodges the other team as she racks up points, but she isn’t afraid of a little contact.

How she got into roller derby: I went to this party, a fundraiser for a Fort Worth Avenue development group with a 70s theme. I dressed up as roller derby skater and wore skates. Someone said they thought I really did that, and I kind of started thinking, “Why don’t I do it?” I had coffee with an experienced roller derby friend, and tryouts were that weekend. I literally took the tags off my gear right before tryouts. I thought I was a good skater until I saw these girls. Before I understood the rules of the game, I was drafted to a team. Her motivation: When my sister passed away in an accident in Italy two years ago, I became very committed, maybe obsessive, with physical fitness. Every single day that we wake up and get out of our beds, we have been given an amazing gift. I feel like part of how I honor her is to never forget that.

Favorite neighborhood moment: I lived across the street from Lakewood Park on Williamson. It is anchored in my memory: Driving down Williamson with the trees that all hang over.

Accomplishment she is most proud of: I am a general practitioner that does orthopedic surgery. It is what I enjoy doing the most. If your dog broke its leg, your vet probably doesn’t do surgery, but I have a special interest in orthopedics and had some unique opportunities early in my career.

Her daily regimen: I am very disciplined. I have a diet and exercise regimen, and I never deviate from that. I have been a vegetarian since I was 14. I just decided I didn’t want to eat meat. I run, play racquetball and swim laps each week. I go to Pilates 10 times a week. I did two classes this morning before I came to work. Her greatest influence: I hate to admit it, but it’s my mother. She is a very strong woman, and I do think my belief that I can’t fail at anything comes from her. Part of that commitment is that I am also a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober for seven years now. Her experience with gender discrimination: Where I have seen gender bias in my field has been with clients. There are still societal thoughts that the doctor is the man, and at times I had to really prove myself with clients. “Is the doctor going to come in?” they would ask. I changed the design on my shirt so they could see the “Doctor.”

In her spare time: I volunteer with the Spay Neuter Network, and I ended up going to Saipan to spay and neuter 250 animals in five days. We were in an openair pavilion with hot, gusting winds. Individuals brought their animals, and others would drive the streets to bring them in.

@alliebeth.com

@alliebeth.com loria Tarpley is the Chair of Dallas’ City Plan Commission and volunteer extraordinaire. She grew up in Mexico City, went to Rice University and practiced commercial litigation before deciding to stay home and raise her children. Her son is a Duke-educated lawyer and her daughter graduated from Harvard and wants to be a writer. Tarpley volunteered for St. Thomas Aquinas and the Forest Hills Neighborhood Association. She served for eight years on the City of Dallas’ Ethics Commission, responding to complaints about city o cials violating the city’s code of ethics. In her role on the Plan Commission, she makes recommendations about the future of Dallas development. All while on the board of trustees at Rice.

Her motivation: Public service in one form or another is important. You do what you can. I have always been interested in what makes society tick. It (City Plan Commission) is intellectually challenging, and I enjoy learning about different parts of the city. I think I have brought a tone of civility, tried very hard to make it an open and welcoming body. Our political institutions can be very intimidating to the average citizen. Folks are often terrified. It is important that they feel welcome and treated with respect. What brings her joy: Sometimes we have folks who come in and speak Spanish. I am completely fluent, so I turn around and talk to them in Spanish. I like the fact that we can do that in a multi-cultural city. I want to make sure everyone feels welcome. Her philosophy: I try to be collaborative. We get further treating people nicely, even if it takes forever. Clearly, we do not agree often, but I am particularly proud of people who vote their conscience. You try very hard to do your best for your city and for your district. You vote and then you move on. There have not been any personal attacks; I personally won’t allow that. Something surprising: Most people have no idea about the depth of the work that goes into it (Plan Commission). They have no clue how much time commissioners put into things. People think bureaucracy doesn’t care, but the planning commission is a group of people and staff that tries to get it right.

Best advice: My first job in college was a summer job at a law firm in Mexico City. I was talking with my Dad, who was a selfmade businessman and he said, “No matter what they ask you to do, even if it is counting paperclips, do it as well as you can no matter what job you are doing.” atrice Ellis-Kirk did what every other Penn graduate does, and worked for a stint in New York City, but when she heard about Dallas being the next financial mecca, she came to visit. She began working for a bank in 1982 and has made the most of her time here ever since. While working at the bank, she began volunteering with the YWCA and the Junior League of Dallas, earning a reputation as a great board member and fundraiser. She now chairs the board of the AT&T Performing Arts Center in the Arts District, where she is working to ensure its financial health for the next 25 years. In addition, she has worked with the World Economic Forum, focusing on research about parity in income and opportunity, and is on the board for DFW International Airport. When she isn’t volunteering, she is managing director for RSR Partners, an executive search firm. She met her husband, former Dallas Mayor Ron Kirk, at a charity event.

On gender discrimination: I was fortunate in that I was never impacted. Clearly, there was sexism, but a generation of women older than I was had broken through and we are in their debt. At the end of the day, I would work hard, hope for the best that things would work out, and they did. Part of why I have not been impacted by it is that I don’t think of myself as a female lawyer. I don’t gender define and it never occurs to me that anyone is going to discriminate. I don’t know if that has cloaked me in some way, but it never occurred to me to feel lesser in any way or that I needed to modify my behavior.

Her inspiration: My grandmother and great-grandmother believed everyone should give back. My grandmother ran a dry cleaner’s. I saw her wake up at 4 a.m. and come home at midnight. When people didn’t pick up their clothes for a year, we were giving people clothes and packaging certain outfits. Her vision for the arts: How do we ensure that we get our share of the entertainment venues? What can you do to create value, and can we do it for all the segments of the population? We (at the AT&T Performing Arts Center) talk about being a community gathering place, programming outdoor events and making it a place where people feel comfortable. We want to be a place people understand is theirs.

On balancing her ambitions with her husband’s: I never want to clip anyone’s wings, and I never want anyone to clip my wings. I had my dream job, but what he had to contribute at that time (when he was elected mayor) was more important than what I had at the time. It created a different family dynamic, but we figured it out and made it work. We are a team for life, and there were no rules or playbook. I am very proud of him, but in all candor, that was his life. I figured out how to exist and thrive beside him, in front of him and behind him. We don’t always agree on everything, but people make assumptions that because we are married we agree. What she is proud of: I am proud of my girls, who graduated from Stonewall Jackson Elementary. My oldest graduated from Fordham Law School and the youngest is a professional dancer and graduated from NYU. Never say an East Dallas education can’t get you places. I love them and am very proud of them. Also, to stay married for 30 years and know that you have another 30 years in you is a great feeling. Her most challenging moments: The risk of your husband running for office was hard, because it is rare for families to succeed and be together in politics. Getting into executive search was a risk because all I knew was banking and financing for 22 years. It is a whole career shift. And taking on and chairing an organization (the AT&T Performing Arts Center) that was retiring a significant amount of debt was a risk. You are a part of a change, part of doing something that is going to create a new shift. That is the risk you take and you have to be ok with that. issy Payne spent 39 days in a Nicaraguan jungle, battling bugs, heat and the other competitors on “Survivor: Blood vs. Water.” When her friend who worked in casting for CBS told her they were looking for a mother-daughter duo, she and her daughter sent in a tape. As a star of the 29th season of the show, she pushed through injury, balanced tribal a liations and competed alongside her daughter Baylor. She was even called a “wicked stepmother” in a now-famous speech. Payne would go on to make the final tribal council, placing third overall, leveraging her fame to help others. She took the $75,000 in winnings from the show to form Cheer 4 Your Life, a nonprofit that helps fund youth activities for those who can’t a ord them. In addition, she created “The Invisible 7: A Survivor’s Guide to Awesomeness,” an interactive workbook to help youth develop character traits.

Our community’s greatest issue: We only have 10 percent of our population engaging. What would it look like for more people to take part? Would some of the gender issues go away? The more people you have vested in something, the closer you get to solutions.

On her “Survivor” strategy: I tried to play the offense and never felt like I was backed into the corner. I was the oldest female, and my wisdom and experience helped me get to the end. What kept coming back to me, with camera crews all around, is that there were hundreds and thousands of young girls that I had taught or might teach who were watching. What did I want to model? What was the message? Strength, humility and to never give up.

Scariest moment: When I was about to shove my hand in the tree and there was a giant boa constrictor there. The producers are not supposed to talk to you, but they did that time.

A strong leader is: Badass and female.

Why she gives back: You have to be your own cheerleader. No one is going to love you as much as you are going to love yourself. We take these kids and empower them to not give up on themselves (in Cheer 4 Your Life).

Advice for other survivors: Don’t jeopardize your integrity no matter how hard they push you and no matter how hard the game becomes. I shared my dirty laundry about being married and divorced three times. It’s about what I stand for and teach. I have no shame. Her experience with gender discrimination: I have felt it for sure, in a lot of areas. Being a female, it has been hard to prove yourself as strong as a male, especially because of the way our society has formed us. I remember specifically on the show, there was an argument with the oldest gentleman, and all these men were so crass. Running my own business was really hard as a female. I would think, “You wouldn’t speak to a male this way.”

On achieving work-life balance: It has been a sacrifice. I have had to sacrifice my social time and outings for work. I don’t think it is forever, but this is more important.

Laura Pate of Brown Mountain Restoration

ita Havlick was born in India, grew up near Chicago and has lived all over the world. While working in IT, she began volunteering at Stonewall Jackson Elementary where her children attended. Volunteering quickly became advocacy for public education, which she calls “the last opportunity equalizer.” When a Dallas ISD budget shortfall meant that Stonewall’s gardens would not be funded, she saw parents band together to save the garden and was inspired. Havlick went on to advocate for change in campus leadership and ran for Dallas ISD school board in 2016. She lost to the current District 2 trustee Dustin Marshall by just 42 votes but since has been appointed by Superintendent Michael Hinojosa to chair the Dallas ISD Superintendent’s Districtwide Advisory Council. In this role and as director of community outreach for the Emmanuel Community Center, she continues to make an impact.

Her motivation: During the campaign, it became apparent how much people care and really buy into our public schools. Being a parent in DISD is not my qualification, but my motivation. My kids have educational opportunities, but that same opportunity does not exist throughout the district. What can we do?

On losing: It was a life lesson. I really believe I ran my race on the values with which we raise our children: integrity, respect and resilience. It was a learning opportunity, and I don’t feel like I lost.

On her nonprofit of choice: The Emmanuel Community Center is a food pantry where we support 100 working families and 40 to 50 homeless each month. We are serving a point in time need, but we also ask what we can do to systemically improve their lives.

Dispelling misconceptions: I get emails, randomly, about how our schools are terrible. It is so easy to be an armchair quarterback. I wish people would buy into our public schools and wish all families would try public schools. I hope people don’t discount public schools. I said during my campaign that I wish parents would volunteer at schools where their kids don’t go to have their eyes opened.

Her experience with gender discrimination: As a short woman of color, there were prejudices. I was the only female at my school to graduate with a degree in physics my year. I worked at the Department of Energy and was the only woman in the office. Promotions often went to men, and opportunities were given to those who had been there longer. When I ran for office, questions that were asked of me were not asked of my opponent. I answered them directly. There was very much gender bias, but I refuse to let that stop me or let my daughter feel like it would stop her. We may have to work harder, but we can’t let that stop us.

Best advice: When you give your time for something, it feeds your soul.

Her advice to her younger self: If you are happy in your life today, the path you took was the right one. Perhaps start sooner with all of it, and do something in your life that you want to do. As an immigrant, the focus is always to get a good job and make money. While that is very true, if I could do it over again and if I knew what public policy was at that time, I would go into that. And don’t stress over your kid’s kindergarten.