Love at first sight

It all started in a framing department

The date: Nov. 29, 1998. The location: Framing department at Garden Ridge in Mesquite, Texas. The event: Furtive glances and fireworks between Curtis Fesser and James Brad Boling.

It was a case of love at first sight — perhaps helped along by a loved one who had died — that has stood the test of time.

A few years prior, his first love, also named James, had been murdered during a robbery at the Casa Linda Blockbuster.

“I was in the mode of being alone for the rest of my life,” he says.

From time to time, though, Fesser would talk to the late James, asking if he would send someone true and good.

On the day his life changed forever, Fesser was working in custom framing, shut down to the thought of romance.

In walks Boling, out shopping for art with some friends. Those cheesy, unlikely thunderbolt moments in romantic movies? It actually happened for Fesser and Boling.

“Our eyes locked, and we knew we were meant to be,” smiles Fesser. “I remember whispering to my friend at the frame shop, ‘He’s going to be my husband.’”

Boling was equally smitten. “I knew from the start we were soulmates,” he says. “I knew he was the one.”

He called Fesser a couple of days later, and the two talked for hours, discovering shared interests in art and gardening and a common history growing up in Richardson. They were raised in the same neighborhood and attended the same high school, 11 years apart. Curtis had walked by Boling’s family’s house when he was in high school, though their paths never crossed.

Their first date, dinner and a movie, was unusual. Boling brought along his best friend, who wanted to meet Fesser.

“I gave in since he lived down the street and to get him to shut up,” Boling says.

Many dates followed, including early on when Boling decided to cook dinner. Perhaps a bit distracted, he caught a kitchen towel on fire as he pulled green bean casserole out of the oven. The fire was quickly extinguished, the skilletcooked chicken was delicious, and they had a good laugh.

Several months into the relationship and shortly before moving in together, they began talking about commitment.

But Fesser, who is African American, felt the need to have a serious talk with Boling, who is white.

“I remember putting everything out on the table and being transparent,” he says. “We needed to have the conversation about the challenges ahead being in a gay, interracial relationship.”

They were undaunted, despite stares, rude comments and the loss of judgmental “friends.” One of the worst situations they were subjected to was when Boling’s friends — the ones who were with him that day at Garden Ridge — took Boling’s mother out for a farewell dinner because they did not approve of Fesser’s ethnicity.

Fortunately, Boling’s mother never wavered in her support. And those

“friends”? Boling wasted no time dispatching them.

“They were quickly kicked to the curb, so to speak,” he says. “I didn’t want anything to do with them moving forward.”

They’ve both enjoyed support and acceptance from many family members and friends, and they’ve learned to ignore the whispers and criticisms.

“We’ve experienced discrimination from the gay community and society as a whole,” Boling says. “The ignorance and racism is quite the eye opener.”

Fesser and Boling have built a life together at their home in the Alger Park-Ash Creek neighborhood. Avid gardeners, they have transformed their backyard, which abuts Ash Creek, into a tranquil and lush showcase, filled with plants and Fesser’s murals and sculptures. Their garden was honored with a spot on the Water-Wise Landscape Tour a few years ago.

They are constantly maintaining and updating the garden, and one of their favorite activities is searching for discarded objects to reuse.

“Bulk trash days are fun days for us,” Fesser says.

The couple also enjoys travel and lists Chicago, Seattle, San Diego, Miami and London as favorites. They were particularly taken with London and its accepting atmosphere, food, history and museums.

Almost 25 years after first laying eyes on each other, they’re going strong.

“He always wants to do the right thing for the better good without expecting anything in return,” says Fesser. “He’s a selfless gentleman who’s highly empathetic and courageous.”

For Boling, the admiration is mutual. “He has a sincere honesty and is amazingly talented.” Even more important, he knows Fesser will be there for him.

Any advice for couples? “Communicate, communicate!” insists Boling. “Be willing to compromise.”

For those wishing for someone special, Fesser advises not to look for love.

“You might be surprised by the unexpected,” he says.

She’s