Man in the Mirror Perhaps he’s not an accurate reflection

Why do dogs chase their tails, even after they’ve caught them? Why do people with expensive cars intentionally take up two parking spaces in crowded parking lots?

And why does my aging body still do daily battle with acne?

That’s a question I asked myself the other morning while contorting my face in the mirror right before I gummed my oatmeal and applesauce. It’s not exactly a traditional resolution, I suppose, but surely there must be a way to rid myself of facial blemishes in the new year.

The fact that acne is a problem that just now has risen to the top of my list probably says a lot about my life, especially since the issue continued to clog my brain on the drive to work and even as I fired up the computer to see what had filled my inbox overnight.

And then I read the short email: A good friend was apologizing that a golf outing we were planning a few months down the road probably wouldn’t be happening because he just found out he had esophageal cancer.

I read the few sentences in the email a couple of times, not so much because I didn’t understand what he was saying but because I didn’t want to understand. And then I did what most people would do — I Googled “esophageal cancer” because I didn’t know much about it.

And a few clicks into my research, after soberly noting that the most recommended form of treatment involves finding a “clinical trial”, I saw the numbers: About 16,640 new cases of esophageal cancer are diagnosed in the United States each year, and about 14,500 people die of the disease each year.

As my friend, a real estate investment guy who single-handedly pulled me through our MBA accounting class, noted wryly when I talked with him later: “I’ve run the numbers, and they aren’t very rosy.”

His wife of 15-plus years took the news fairly well, he said, but their two teenagers sobbed uncontrollably. Surgery was out because his cancer already had snuck over to surrounding organs, so he was pinning hope on four progressively more aggressive rounds of chemotherapy, four 10-day blocks of hell that my friend said he “hoped to survive” in order to buy enough time for cancer researchers to find a cure for his at-the-moment virtually uncurable disease.

“There are still some things I don’t want to miss in my life,” he said, choking a bit as he spoke the words into his phone.

Hang in there, I told him; I couldn’t think of much else to say. Dealing with cancer is a mostly personal crusade, as much mental as physical, particularly when you know the odds don’t favor the outcome you want.

The conversation ended, the obligatory endof-call greetings were exchanged, and we both cursed his situation without swearing or crying or raising our voices.

I worked my way through the rest of the day, completing my regular tasks and booking future meetings on my calendar and discussing future stories for our magazine. And I went home to fill in my wife about the day’s events.

As the day wound down, I found myself in the bathroom again, staring at the same blemished face that had given me so much pain that morning.

And I decided that maybe I wouldn’t spend so much time looking into the mirror tomorrow, because the reflection looking back at me seemed to be pointing in the wrong direction.

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b ac K tal K: t wo residents of one ho Me connect

After neighbors made an uncanny connection via the Back Talk Oak Cliff blog, Advocate editor Rachel Stone received this email from Yvonne Fritz:

“I just saw the [Old Oak Cliff Conservation League Fall Home Tour slideshow] you produced, and was amazed to see my old home at 1134 Pioneer in Elmwood.

“I am 74, and lived there from the time I was born until I married in 1959. My parents lived there until 1981.”

Turns out the home belongs to Lauren and David Schneider, a young couple who bought the house a few years ago.

The Schneiders have renovated the house. They painted the exterior, changed the front doors, put in some new flooring and cabinets, redesigned the landscaping, and changed up the floorplan slightly. And when they covered up the original medicine cabinet during the bathroom renovation, they wrote a note about themselves, the house and their work on it. And they nailed the note inside the cabinet for some future homeowner to find.

They are curious about the 1925 home’s history, so they were thrilled to invite Yvonne Fritz and her husband, Bob, for an afternoon visit.

Fritz loves the home’s new look. She took pictures of the rooms, asked lots of questions, and told stories. She left the Schneiders with black-and-white photos of the house, as well as a deeper understanding of their 85-year-old home.

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Video

Visit oakcliff. advocatemag.com and search: Pioneer to watch a video of the Fritzes’ visit.

You Said It

“Why is it that every time we have development coming, we have to shut it down with the ‘historic’ excuse? We have plenty of areas to conserve and keep historic and that is the appeal of Oak Cliff. Oh sorry, North Oak Cliff. It would be nice not to have to drive north for everything that has to do with my kids. Have you been to the parks around the area they are considering? Would you let your 10-yearold walk over there by him/herself? Everybody wants to conserve, but all the upper middle-income moms with little kids go up north to ‘safer’ and ‘nicer’ parks with people they feel more comfortable around.

– NEIGHBOR ON “COMPANY SEEKS GRANT FOR 1-MILLION-SQUARE-FOOT DEVELOPMENT IN OAK CLIFF”

Join the discussion search: developer

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Q uestion of the Month

What’s something ne W and positive you have planned for the ne W year?

I’m going to help my dear Nigerian friends build a school in rural Nigeria. We broke ground last summer, and this year we hope the Mary Penelope Academy can open in the fall of 2011.

—KELLY L. STERN

Patronizing more restaurants and stores in my neighborhood, North Oak Cliff! —MEGHAN

KINNEY CARPENTER

This is going to be our low-key, local year. Instead of big trips, it will be small indulgences to support the local community. More tiny dinner parties with friends, more cooking together, more day trips. —MELISSA

GROVE

As a human rights lawyer and activist, I’ll be joining the worldwide campaign to eradicate sexual violence toward women and children.

—DR. MADHUMITA PARIDA

More exploring of Dallas! —KERRY SUMPTER

SMITH

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