12 minute read

Exorcising grief

‘HEY GOD, TAKE THAT!’

Story by LISA KRESL | Photo by DANNY FULGENCIO

BRANDI WEST, 43, starts the day with an act of heroism: She makes herself get up out of her marriage bed. She dons a Studio 6 Fitness

T-shirt, packs her Pilates grip socks and heads to the gym. On the way, the radio plays a song by “Drive-By Truckers,” and despondency from the April death of her 49-yearold husband, Rip, overcomes her.

He died in the middle of the night from a heart attack. She remembers sitting in the hospital waiting room alone as nurses called the code blue. “After he died, everyone would say, ‘I’m so proud of you.’ And I would say, ‘Why? Because I’m getting out of bed?’”

But on most days, she knows Pilates instructor and friend Madeleine Fontes is waiting for her. Fontes gets it. Her son died suddenly seven years ago at age 18. Fontes, once a client, now teaches between four to seven classes a week.

Neighbors struggling with grief find solace in many Preston Hollow places, especially during the holidays, when emotions can be overwhelming.

But for some, it’s Pilates and personal trainers that get them through, one day at a time.

“Exercise plays an important role in the grieving process,” says Dr. Akanksha Kumar of the Methodist Family Health Center in Preston Hollow.

“Exercise releases endorphins, which can counter the stress hormone and lift one’s mood.”

Fontes used to swim, but she didn’t want to see her old friends from the pool after her son’s death. “I didn’t want the pity face,” she says. Instead, she started a new routine.

“I needed to not be locked away in my house,” Fontes says. “A grief program didn’t help; alcohol didn’t help. I just became catatonic, inert. I sat at a grief conference and thought, ‘Look at us. We’re 600 people. There’s nothing you can do to stop our grief. There’s nothing that anyone can say to make us feel better.’”

West says when the workout starts, she doesn’t have time to feel sorry for herself. “When I leave here, I feel good. It’s not ‘poor, pitiful me. I’m never going to find another Rip. I’m never going to find a person who loved me so much.’ When you get here, you don’t have time for those negative thoughts to take hold.”

For West, the physical pain from exercise is her way of saying, “Hey, God, take that! You caused me anguish, but I am in control of this pain.”

Stephanie Stephenson, studio director at Utopia Food + Fitness on Preston Road, remembers a 32-yearold client whose husband died in a work accident. The couple had been married a little more than three years. The widow would buy groceries but not prepare a meal. She was drinking too much alcohol and not eating.

After a year of “floundering,” she found Utopia, which figures out how many calories a client needs, provides a pre-made meal plan and a 20-minute workout routine. “When I talk to people who are grief stricken, they either can’t think about eating, or they are self-medicating with food and wine,” Stephenson says. “Either way, you’re negatively affecting your body, and you feel worse. We’re coaches for them.”

Mourning In The Morning

Michelle Anderson’s son Blake died of a heart attack in 2015 while mountain biking with friends at former President George W. Bush’s ranch in Crawford. He was 30, a graduate of Jesuit, and worked as an assistant to Dallas City Councilman Adam McGough. When someone asked her how she got out of bed every day, she said, “I do what I did before he died and after he died. I get up at 6 a.m. and go to Pilates every day.”

For a year after Blake’s death, her son Richie joined her in the exercise class Mondays through Fridays. “I look at the walls that say ‘strength,’ ‘spirit’ and ‘balance,’ and I think about Blake.” She also met a couple in the class. The husband’s daughter died when she was 13. “Talking to him was very healing too.”

Anderson now has five grandchildren, one of whom is named Blake. She also volunteers, including with the annual Blake Anderson Public Service Awards named in her son’s honor. “Life does go on,” she says.

GRIEF RELIEF: ONE NEIGHBOR’S EXPERT TIPS

Dr. Akanksha Kumar of Methodist Family Health Center, Preston Hollow, offers this advice:

What does research show about the link between grief and fitness?

Consistent exercise can improve mood symptoms just within a few weeks. However, it’s important to respect one’s body and mind. Delving into a new exercise routine after a loss is usually not recommended. However, after the “rawness” of the event starts to subside, exercise can be helpful. Some research shows that it is as effective as being on antidepressants.

What is the best type of exercise to do when you’re grieving?

Research shows that some form of cardio can be cathartic. However, listen to your body. Over-exerting can be problematic in the denial or anger stage of grief. If you are new to fitness, try starting with 10-15 minute cardio intervals. If you are someone who consistently exercises, continue your usual routine. The key is keeping things simple and consistent so it can become an outlet rather than a chore. Some integrate yoga and meditation to help calm the mind.

How long does the grieving process last?

It can last anywhere from a few weeks to six months, maybe longer. If it has been more than six months, let your doctor know.

Are there resources specific to our neighborhood that you suggest?

Preston Hollow has lots of fitness centers, especially group exercise classes like SoulCycle, Pure Barre and Orangetheory. Talk to your physician if you feel lost. It is unlikely that you are alone.

WHERE CAN I FIND LOCAL ...?

AC & HEAT

Air Conditioning

Foam Encapsulation • Insulation Smart Home Solutions Service & Sales

COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS

ALL COMPUTER PROBLEMS SOLVED

MAC/PC Great Rates. Keith. 214-295-6367

AT ODDS WITH YOUR COMPUTER? Easily Learn Essential Skills. Services include Digital Photo Help. Sharon 214-679-9688

BILL’S COMPUTER REPAIR

Virus Removal, Data Recovery. Home/Biz Network Install. All Upgrades & Repairs. PC Instruction. No Trip Fee. 214-348-2566

EMPLOYMENT

AIRLINE MECHANIC TRAINING Get FAA certified. Approved for military benefits. Financial aid if qualified. Job placement assistance. Aviation Institute of Maintenance 866-453-6204

PET SITTERS, DOG WALKERS reply to http://www.pcpsi.com/join

EXTERIOR CLEANING

G&G DEMOLITION Tear downs, Haul. Interior/Exterior. 214-808-8925

GARAGE SERVICES

IDEAL GARAGE DOORS • 972-757-5016 Install & Repair. 10% off to military/1st responders.

ROCKET GARAGE DOOR SERVICE - 24/7. Repairs/Installs. 214-533-8670. Coupon On Web. www.RocketDoor.com

UNITED GARAGE DOORS AND GATES Res/Com. Locally Owned. 214-251-5428

GLASS, WINDOWS & DOORS

Family Owned & Operated 214- 330 - 5500 iiirth.com integrity • innovative • impactful

TACLB29169E

APPLIANCE REPAIR

JESSE’S A/C & APPLIANCE SERVICE

TACLB13304C All Makes/Models. 214-660-8898

BUY/SELL/TRADE

CARS/TRUCKS WANTED!!! All Makes/Models. 2000-2016. Any Condition. Running Or Not. Top $$$ Paid. Free Towing. We’re Nationwide. Call Now 1-888-985-1806

CASH FOR CARS We buy any condition vehicle, 2002 and newer. Nationwide free pick-up. 1-800-718-1593

CABINETRY & FURNITURE

CABINETMAKER Design/Build Custom Furniture. Repair, Refinish. 40 yrs. exp. Jim 214-457-3830

CLASSES/TUTORING/LESSONS

ART THE FUN WAY W/JANE CROSS

Art Cub: Mon’s. 12:30-2:30pm, Free For LHNRC

Members 13-Up. Lake Highlands N. Rec. Ctr.

Drawing, Painting: Weds. 10:15-1:15 pm. $15 Class/$60 month. 214-534-6829

INQUIRING MINDS 360 Programming Tutor. 6th Grade-High School. Home School Tech Courses Offered. Crystal Davis. text 214-253-8115

WRITING/EDITING HELP FOR APPLICANTS

Applying to HS, college, grad school? Struggling with your essays? I can improve your submission. Reasonable rates. Steve Long 972-849-4205

Cleaning Services

A MAID FOR YOU Bonded/Insured.Park Cities/ M Streets Refs. Call Us First. Joyce 214-232-9629

ALTOGETHER CLEAN

Relax ...We’ll Clean Your House, It Will Be Your Favorite Day! Bonded & Insurance. Free Estimates. 214-929-8413. www. altogetherclean.net

CINDY’S HOUSE CLEANING 15 yrs exp. Resd/Com. Refs. Dependable. 214-490-0133

TWO SISTERS & A MOP MAID SERVICE

Reliable Quality Work.Best Rates. 23 Yrs. Exp. 214-283-9732

WINDOW MAN WINDOW CLEANING.COM

Residential Specialists. BBB. 214-718-3134

CONFUSED? FRUSTRATED? Let a seasoned pro be the interface between you & that pesky Windows computer. Hardware/Software Installation, Troubleshooting, Training. $60/hr. 1 hr min. Dan 972-639-6413 / stykidan@sbcglobal.net

CONCRETE/MASONRY/PAVING

BRICK & STONE REPAIR

Tuck Pointing / Crack Repair. Mortar Color Matching. Don 214-704-1722

BRICK, BLOCK, Stone, Concrete, Stucco. Gonzalez Masonry. 214-395-1319

BRICK, STONEWORK, FLAGSTONE PATIOS Mortar Repair. Straighten Brick Mailboxes & Columns. Call Cirilo 214-298-7174

CONCRETE, Driveway Specialist Repairs, Replacement, Removal, References. Reasonable. Chris 214-770-5001

EDMONDSPAVING.COM Asphalt & Concrete Driveway-Sidewalk-Patio-Repair 214-957-3216

FLAGSTONE PATIOS, Retaining Walls, BBQ’s, Veneer, Flower Bed Edging, All Stone work. Chris 214-770-5001

R&M Concrete

Concrete • Driveways Retaining Walls Brick & Stone Work Stamped Concrete 214-202-8958

Bonded & InsuredReferences & Free Estimates

ELECTRICAL SERVICES

ANTHONY’S ELECTRIC Master Electrician. TECL24948 anthonyselectricofdallas.com 50 Yrs. Electrical Exp. Insd. 214-328-1333

BRIGHT LIGHT ELECTRIC • 214-553-5333

TECL 31347 Brightening Homes and Businesses

LAKEWOOD ELECTRICAL Local. Insured. Lic. #227509 Call Rylan 214-434-8735

TEXAS ELECTRICAL • 214-289-0639 Prompt, Honest, Quality Service. TECL 24668

TH ELECTRIC Reasonable Rates. Licensed & Insured. Ted. E257 214-808-3658

WHITE ROCK ELECTRIC All Electrical Services. Lic/Insd.TECL-34002 214-850-4891

FENCING & DECKS

4 QUALITY FENCING • 214-507-9322 Specializing in Wood, New or Repair.

AMBASSADOR FENCE CO. Automatic Gates, Fences/Decks, Pergolas, Patio Covers, Arbors. AmbassadorFence.Co. 214-621-3217

FENCING & WOODWORK oldgatefence.com . 214-766-6422

HANNAWOODWORKS.COM Decks, Pergolas, Patio Covers. 214-435-9574

LONESTARDECKS.COM 214-357-3975

Trex Decking & Fencing, trex.com All Wood Decks, Arbors & Patio Covers

EC0NOMY GLASS & MIRROR Mirror, Shower, Windows Repair. 24 Hr. Emergency. 214-875-1127

LAKE HIGHLANDS GLASS & MIRROR frameless shower enclosures • store fronts replacement windows • mirrors 214-349-8160

PRO WINDOW CLEANING prompt, dependable. Matt 214-766-2183

ROCK GLASS CO Replace, repair: windows, mirrors, showers, screens. 214-837-7829

HANDYMAN SERVICES

BO HANDYMAN Specializing In Historic Home Renovations & Pro Remodels. Custom Carpentry, Doors, Kitchens, Baths & more. 214-437-9730

HANDY DAN The Handyman. ToDo’s Done Right. handy-dan.com 214-252-1628

HANDYMAN SPECIALIST Residential/ Commercial. Large, small jobs, repair list, renovations. Refs. 214-489-0635

HOME REPAIR HANDYMAN Small/Big Jobs + Construction. 30 Yrs. Exp. Steve. 214-875-1127

HOMETOWN HANDYMAN All phases of construction. No job too small 214-327-4606

ONE CALL WEEKEND SERVICES

FLOORING & CARPETING

CALL EMPIRE TODAY To Schedule A Free In -Home Estimate On Carpeting & Flooring. 1-800-508-2824

DALLAS HARDWOODS 214-724-0936

Installation, Repair, Refinish, Wax, Hand Scrape. Residential, Commercial. Sports Floors. 30 Yrs.

FENN CONSTRUCTION Manufactored hardwoods. Stone and Tile. Back-splash Specials. 214-343-4645

HASTINGS STAINED 214-341-3993

Hardwoods- Install/Refinish/Stain. Stained & Sealed Concrete. hastingsfloors.com

WILLEFORD HARDWOOD FLOORS 214-824-1166 • WillefordHardwoodFloors.com

Contractor & Handyman. Remodels, Renovations . Paint, Plumbing, Drywall, Electrical.469-658-9163

WANTED: ODD JOBS & TO DO LISTS Allen’s Handyman & Home Repair 214-288-4232

Your Home Repair Specialists Drywall Doors Senior Safety Carpentry Small & Odd Jobs And More! 972-308-6035 HandymanMatters.com/dallas Bonded & Insured. Locally owned & operated.

HOUSE PAINTING

1 AFFORDABLE HOUSE PAINTING and Home Repair. Quality work. Inside and Out. Free Ests. Local Refs. Ron 972-816-5634

A+ INT/EXT PAINT & DRYWALL Since 1977. Kirk Evans. 972-672-4681

BENJAMIN’S PAINTING SERVICE Professional Work At Reasonable Prices. 214-725-6768

WHERE CAN I FIND LOCAL ...? Click Marketplace at advocatemag.com

HOUSE PAINTING

RAMON’S INT/EXT PAINT

Sheetrock, Repairs. 214-679-4513

TONY’S PAINTING SERVICE Quality Work

Since 1984. Int./Ext. 214-755-2700

TOP COAT 30 yrs. exp. Reliable, Quality Repair/Remodel Phil @ 214-770-2863

VIP PAINTING & DRYWALL Int/Ext. Sheetrock Repair, Resurfacing Tubs, Counters, Tile Repairs. 469-774-7111

KITCHEN/BATH/TILE/GROUT

BLAKE CONSTRUCTION CONCEPTS LLC

Complete Kitchen And Bath Remodels. Tile, Granite, Marble, Travertine, Slate. Insured. 214-563-5035 www.blake-construction.com

FENN CONSTRUCTION Full Service Contractor. dallastileman.com 214-343-4645

MELROSE TILE James Sr., Installer, Repairs. 40 Yrs. Exp. MelroseTile.com 214-384-6746

STONE AGE COUNTER TOPS

Granite, Quartz, Marble For Kitchen/Bath-Free Est. stoneage.brandee@gmail.com 940-465-6980

TK REMODELING 972-533-2872

Complete Full Service Repairs, Remodeling, Restoration. Name It — We do it. Tommy. Insured. dallas.tkremodelingcontractors.com

LAWNS, GARDENS & TREES

HOLMAN IRRIGATION

Sprinkler & Valve Repair/ Rebuild Older Systems. Lic. #1742. 214-398-8061

MAYA TREE SERVICE Tree Trim/Remove. Lawn Maintenance. Resd/ Commcl.Insd. CC’s Accptd. mayatreeservice.com 214-924-7058 214-770-2435

NEW LEAF TREE CARE

Honest, Modern, Safety Minded. 214-850-1528

PAT TORRES 214-388-1850 Lawn Service & Tree Care. 28 Yrs. Complete Landscape Renovation. New Fence Install & Brick Repair. Concrete Removal and Gutter Cleaning.

LAWNS, GARDENS & TREES

PET SERVICES

DOGGIE DEN DALLAS Daycare, Boarding, Grooming, Training. 6444 E. Mockingbird Ln. 214-823-1441 • DoggieDenDallas.com

PET CARE IN YOUR HOME Joyful Walks, Affection Training. Refs. Sunny 214-724-2555

214-631-8719

LAWNS, GARDENS & TREES

#1 WHITE ROCK TREE WIZARDS

Professionals, Experts, Artists. Trim, Remove, Cabling, Bracing/Bolting. Cavity-Fill Stump Grind. Emergencies, Hazards. Insd. Free Est. 972-803-6313. arborwizard.com

CHUPIK TREE SERVICE

Trim, Remove, Stump Grind. Free Est. Insured. 214-823-6463

DALLAS GROUNDSKEEPER Organic Lawn Maintenance designed to meet your needs. 214-471-5723 dallasgroundskeeper.com

DALLAS K.D.R.SERVICES • 214-349-0914

Lawn Service & Landscape Installation prestonhollow.advocatemag.com p

28+ Yrs. Exp.

DRAIN PROBLEMS?

WE CAN HELP.

Looking for local services and don’t have an Advocate magazine handy?

CHECK OUT OUR UPDATED DIGITAL CLASSIFIED ADS

Online ads have long been a part of our classifieds, but we at Advocate magazine are always looking for ways to improve. What’s new? Our digital ads now include photos and logos of companies. Plus, they are searchable on Google.

Support your neighborhood by contacting these local companies, who are ready to help you with home and professional services, tutoring, lessons and more.

THE PET DIVAS Pet Sitting, Daily Dog Walks, In Home/Overnight Stays.Basic Obedience Training. thepetdivas.com 817-793-2885. Insured

PLUMBING

AC PLUMBING Repairs, Fixtures, Senior Discounts. Gary Campbell. 214-321-5943

ANDREWS PLUMBING • 214-354-8521 # M37740 Insured. Any plumbing issues.

HAYES PLUMBING INC. Repairs. Insured, 214-343-1427 License M13238

NTX PLUMBING SPEC. LLLP 214-226-0913 Lic. M-40581 Res/Com. Repairs & Leak Location

POOLS

CERULEAN POOL SERVICES Family Owned/ Operated. Weekly maintenance, Chemicals, parts & repairs. CeruleanPro.com 214-557-6996

LEAFCHASERS POOL SERVICE Parts/Service. Chemicals/Repairs. Jonathan. 214-729-3311

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

ACCOUNTING/TAXES Small Business/Individual Chris King, CPA 214-824-5313 chriskingcpa.com classifieds.advocatemag.com

LAWNS, GARDENS & TREES

RED SUN LANDSCAPES • 214-935-9779

RedSunLandscapes.com

TAYLOR MADE IRRIGATION Repairs, service, drains. 30+ years exp. Ll 6295 469-853-2326. John

WALTON’S GARDEN CENTER

Stop in for home decor, candles, house plants, succulents and more. It’s time to plan for spring. Call us for design, prep and plantings! 8652 Garland Road 214-321-2387

”WE CARE ABOUT YOUR TREES”

LEGAL SERVICES

A WILL? THERE IS A WAY! Estate/Probate matters.maryglennattorney.com 214-802-6768

MOVING

AM MOVING COMPANY Specialty Moving & Delivery. 469-278-2304 ammovingcompany.com

PEST CONTROL

A Better Earth Pest Control

Keeping the environment, kids, pets in mind. Organic products avail. 972-564-2495

MCDANIEL PEST CONTROL

Prices Start at $85 + Tax

For General Treatment.

Average Home-Interior/Exterior & Attached Garage. Quotes For Other Services. 214-328-2847. Lakewood Resident

NATURE KING PEST MANAGEMENT, INC

Advanced in All Types of Pest Control Solutions

Since 1994. Same Day Service Available. Rated 5.0 Star on Google. 214-827-0090 natureking.com

C.A.S. BOOKKEEPING SERVICES

Personal/Small Business. Payroll, Accounting, Organizing, Consult. Cindy 214-577-7450

REMODELING

BLAKE CONSTRUCTION CONCEPTS, LLC

Complete Remodeling, Kitchens, Baths, Additions. Hardie Siding & Replacement Windows. Build On Your Own Lot. Insured. www.blake-construction.com 214-563-5035

BO HANDYMAN Specializing In Historic Home Renovations & Pro Remodels. Custom Carpentry, Doors, Kitchens, Baths & more. 214-437-9730

GREEN LOVE HOMES Turnkey Renovations,Kitchens, Baths, Floors, Windows. Free Estimates. greenlovehomes.com 214-864-2444

INTEX CONSTRUCTION Specializing in int/ext. Remodel. 30 Yrs Exp. Steve Graves 214-875-1127

MP ARCHITECTURAL Design & Construction. mattandpaul.com 214-226-1186

O’BRIEN GROUP INC. Remodeling Dallas For Over 17 Years www.ObrienGroupInc.com 214-341-1448

Click Marketplace at advocatemag.com

See our excellent work at:

ROOFING & GUTTERS

BERT ROOFING INC.

Family owned and operated for over 40 years

• Residential/Commercial • Over 30,000 roofs completed • Seven NTRCA “Golden Hammer” Awards • Free Estimates

WHERE CAN I FIND LOCAL ...?

Services For You

A PLACE FOR MOM The Nation’s Largest Senior Living Referral Service. Contact Our Trusted Local Experts Today. Our Service is Free/No Obligation. 1-844-722-7993

SERVICES FOR YOU

MY OFFICE Offers Mailboxes, Copying, Shipping, Office & School Supplies. 9660 Audelia Rd. myofficelh.com 214-221-0011

FREE ESTIMATES LICENSED and INSURED www.bertroofing.com 214.321.9341 Residential Commercial (214) 503-7663 www.scottexteriors.com

SERVICES FOR YOU

25 DRIVER TRAINEES NEEDED NOW Earn $1000 per week. Paid CDL Training Stevens Transport Covers All Costs. 1-877-209-1309 drive4stevens.com

AIRLINES ARE HIRING Get FAA Approved Hands On Aviation training. Financial Aid For Qualified Students. Career Placement Assistance. Aviation Institute Of Maintenance 888-686-1704

DIRECTV CHOICE All-Included Package. Over 185 Channels. Only $45/month (for 24 months) Get NFL Sunday Ticket Free. Call Now. 1-855-781-1565

DISH TV $59.99 For 190 Channels. $14.95 High Speed Internet. Free Installation. Smart HD DVR Included. Free Voice Remote. Some Restrictions Apply. 1-855-837-9146

DONATE YOUR CAR TO VETERANS Help And Support Our Veterans. Fast-Free Pick Up. 100% Tax Deductible. 1800-245-0398

EARTHLINK HIGHSPEED INTERNET As Low As $14.95/month.(first 3 months) Reliable High Speed Fiber Optic Technology Stream Videos, Music & More. 1-855-520-7938

STAY IN YOUR HOME LONGER With an American Standard walk-In bathtub. Receive up to $1,500 off, including a free toilet & a Lifetime Warranty on the tub & installation. 1-855-534-6198

SKYLIGHTS

Installing Since 1995

Replacement, Repair & New Installation

Glass •Acrylic Solatubes & Sun Tunnels

972-263-6033 www.skylightsolutions.com

ADVOCATE PUBLISHING does not pre-screen, recommend or investigate the advertisements and/or Advertisers published in our magazines. As a result, Advocate Publishing is not responsible for your dealings with any Advertiser. Please ask each Advertiser that you contact to show you the necessary licenses and/or permits required to perform the work you are requesting. Advocate Publishing takes comments and/or complaints about Advertisers seriously, and we do not publish advertisements that we know are inaccurate, misleading and/or do not live up to the standards set by our publications. If you have a legitimate complaint or positive comment about an Advertiser, please contact us at 214-560-4203. Advocate Publishing recommends that you ask for and check references from each Advertiser that you contact, and we recommend that you obtain a written statement of work to be completed, and the price to be charged, prior to approving any work or providing an Advertiser with any deposit for work to be completed

FEBRUARY DEADLINE JANUARY 9 • TO ADVERTISE CALL 214.560.4203

Worship

BAPTIST PARK CITIES BAPTIST CHURCH / 3933 Northwest Pky / pcbc.org

Worship & Bible Study 9:15 & 10:45 Traditional, Contemporary, Spanish Speaking / 214.860.1500

ROYAL LANE BAPTIST CHURCH / 6707 Royal Lane / 214.361.2809

Christian Education 9:45 a.m. / Worship Service 10:55 a.m.

Pastor - Rev. Dr. Michael L. Gregg / www.royallane.org

WILSHIRE BAPTIST / 4316 Abrams / 214.452.3100

Pastor George A. Mason Ph.D. / Worship 8:30 & 11:00 am

Bible Study 9:40 am / www.wilshirebc.org

PRESBYTERIAN

PRESTON HOLLOW PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH / 9800 Preston Road 8:15 am Chapel, 9:30 & 11:00 am Sanctuary, 5:00 pm Founder’s Hall

Senior Pastor Matthew E. Ruffner / www.phpc.org / 214.368.6348

This article is from: