Holiday traditions stink

Mine did, but at least it’s mine

One of our family’s longstanding holiday traditions involved a food called lutefisk. It made its one and only annual appearance at the holiday meal the bigger the family gathering, the larger the pot of lutefisk.

It was our first scent of the holidays, because when we entered the host home, the overwhelming aroma of lutefisk literally seeped through the door.

I’m told that lutefisk is a Scandinavian “delicacy”. But what legitimate delicacy is soaked in lye, gives off a stench reminiscent of rancid meat, jiggles on the plate in the manner of a glob of greasy gelatin, and tastes like something I would never eat except under threat of death?

As far as I know, virtually every relative of mine, young and old, felt the same way about lutefisk — literally no one ate it. But there it was every holiday — in a boiling, hideously large pot right next to the turkey and ham.

Lutefisk was some now unremembered family member’s holiday tradition. And more than 40 years after it first entered my holiday consciousness, lutefisk remains there today as a “tradition” a tradition for all the wrong reasons, but still something I think about every holiday.

That kind of defies common sense, doesn’t it? A food I can’t stand is the most memorable holiday tradition of my youth, a memory that lingers fondly even today?

Of course, our family had other holiday traditions, too.

For example, my mom has a photographic memory for her holiday decorating layout, from precisely where the plastic Santa hangs on the wall to exactly where the intricate (for a thirdgrader) Crayon-colored holiday artwork is aligned on the kitchen cabinets. Even today, I can close my eyes, and tell you whether the Santa peeking from the wreath will be mounted to the left or right of Rudolph and his fellow reindeer.

Moving to current day, we always top our tree with a very juvenile rendition of an angel made from an overturned Dixie cup, rendered meaningful not because of its artistic value but because it was stapled and glued and penciled by one of our very own former juveniles. Same with a string of paper ornaments festooned with shimmering glitter and bearing the smiling face of another former juvenile, who also happens to be a favorite of ours.

And after the presents are opened and the recycling disposed, my wife creates the most majestic breakfast of the year, serving up a holiday-decorated table lined with over-frosted cinnamon rolls and milk and orange juice and fresh-baked butter biscuits and the pièce de résistance: a medley of scrambled eggs, cheese, sour cream, butter and spices so full of calories and fat that it would spin the heads of those people on TV’s “Biggest Loser”. distriBU tion p H/214.560.4203 ad V ertising p H/214.560.4203 advertising coordinator: JU dy liles

By way of continued quirky family tradition, I’ve never seen my wife more than nibble at the feast she spends hours creating, just as her mother did for her. And even though none of those foods are my favorites, it’s a holiday tradition of the highest family magnitude anyway.

This brings me to the neighborhood recipes offered up in our cover story this month; all are something of traditions to the people who originated them, and the story suggests they might become holiday traditions for your family or mine somewhere down the road.

But as it turns out, the odds of specifically setting out to create a tradition and having that well-crafted and laboriously planned idea actually become a lingering family memory are pretty slim.

Because that’s the way holidays go. We endlessly scheme to create traditions, and we cleverly channel our efforts into building them. But most of the time, what people remember is the lutefisk.

Fondly, though.

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It is wonderful to be able to now hear everyone speaking to me. I feel more in control of my life again. It is very hard to feel you are partly shut out of your world because you cannot hear. Never give up. We are in a great world and there are always new discoveries for you and for me.

Blog Highlight Confessions Of A Burglar

Like most of us, professional burglars wake up bright and early every morning, and head off to work. Later that afternoon, they take a lunch break. But that’s long after they’ve ransacked your house and pawned your valuables.

Residents were able to hear all the secrets of a “career burglar” during a recent crime watch meeting in the Dallas Police North Central Division patrol area. Organized by crime watch expert EdFox and led by Sr. Cpl. D.J. Beaty, the PowerPoint presentation covered it all — the point of entry, the tools, the prime times and even the role delivery drivers play in the perfect crime — straight from an experienced burglar who is now serving a life sentence. He agreed to a video interview with Dallas Police, who have presented it at neighborhood meetings.

“James” is a 40-year-old grungy white man who has spent one-third of this life in prison. He is responsible for more than 850 burglaries since age 21, averaging to about four burglaries a day, six days a week. Here is just some of what he revealed: can be in and out of a house within six minutes. or back door, using a pry bar tool designed to rip the trim off the door and collapse the sheet rock with little effort. According to North Central police, most burglars in our area gain access through open garage doors. he says in the interview. He simply followed the truck and waited for the driver to knock on doors, discover no one was home, and leave the package at the doorstep along with a bright yellow sticker. “You’ll never look at the UPS guy the same again,” Beaty said.

8 and 11 a.m., immediately paying a visit to his “fence”, a person who aids the burglar in selling/distributing the property. Your valuables most likely are sold and gone before you even get home from work to report it.

But neighbors can take James’ advice: at night. If a burglar sees a flat screen on the wall inside the house, you can bet he’ll be back to get it. your neighbors. Burglars usually flee when they’ve been spotted by someone nearby who’ll likely notice when a car is parked in the driveway that shouldn’t be there.

2 deterrent: Get a dog, preferably one that barks at strangers.

—EMILY TOMAN, EDITOR

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Community and school groups gathered for the third annual Hillcrestival at Hillcrest High School, which included student performances from several schools that feed into Hillcrest. Visit prestonhollow.advocatemag.com/video-gallery to watch the video.

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1. CONFESSIONS OF A BURGLAR: CRIME WATCH MEETING REVEALS INSIDE TIPS SEARCH: confessions // 2. MORE RUMBLINGS ON H&M MOVING TO DALLAS NORTHPARK CENTER SEARCH: rumblings // 3. GEORGE W. BUSH TO HOST BOOK SIGNING SEARCH: book signing // 4. GIO’S CAFÉ & DELI TO OPEN AT PRESTON AND LBJ SEARCH: Gio’s // 5. ADVOCATE VIDEO: NORTHAVEN TRAIL CLEAN-UP SEARCH: Valleydale

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