LiFe 101

If at first you don’t succeed, just be yourself

It’s high school and college graduation time again and, as has been the case for as long as I can remember, my invitation to speak at anyone’s commencement must have been caught in my SPAM filter.

But, hey: You’re a captive audience, or at least have been up to this point in the column, so perhaps you would be willing to hear my advice to the younger generation, if only they had asked.

Naturally, I would have enjoyed putting on a graduation robe and balancing one of those goofy mortarboard hats on my head while dispensing wisdom, but instead you’ll have to conjure a picture of me sitting in a recliner, feet up, watching a Texas Rangers baseball game while typing this instead.

And here’s what would have been my premise: When it’s all said and done, are you better off blending in and following the crowd, or are you better off following yourself?

I ask this because of something I read the other day concerning the failed Times Square bomber in New York City. An adviser at the bomber’s college was contacted by the media, and his comments about the bomber were both sad and instructive:

“He was personable, a nice guy, but unremarkable,” the adviser said. “If this didn’t happen, I probably would have forgotten him. He didn’t stand out.”

From birth, we’re told we’re special, and we can make a difference. We’re told that if we follow the plan, if we go to the right preschools, attend the right high schools and colleges, get the right jobs and hang with the right friends, we’ll live life to the fullest. We believe that if we can run with the crowd, and keep running beyond the capabilities of the others in the race, eventually we’ll wind up making our mark.

But speaking as someone who has been running for quite a while, that’s really not how life works. Look at people like Lady Gaga or Bill Gates or Bob Dylan or Alex Rodriguez or Steve Jobs or any number of other people, famous and otherwise, who are icons in their own right — not only didn’t they run with the crowd, they practically ran away from it on the way to becoming rich, famous and successful.

The real lesson to be taken from their lives and applied to ours — particularly those who are just beginning their lives as opposed to those of us who have already found our ruts is that they’re living life the way they want to live it, and it seems to be working for them. Instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks, these people are succeeding because they like themselves, and they like

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My commencement conclusion: Running with the crowd won’t get you where you want to go. To be happy, be yourself. You’ll find out soon enough that’s a lot harder than it sounds.

Time to throw those mortarboards in the air now

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Smu Baseball Scam

Area crime watch groups have reported that solicitors going door-to-door in Lakewood and the Park Cities claiming to be raising money for an SMU baseball trip are scammers. Warns one notice from a Richardson police department officer: “The solicitors may mention that a portion of the proceeds will support the SMU trip to Hawaii in May for a baseball tournament. According to SMU PD, these solicitors are not affiliated with or sponsored by SMU in any way, shape or form. While SMU does have a baseball team, they are not out soliciting funds. This is a scam.” In the Lake Highlands part of town that borders on Richardson, I have encountered a version of this. At the Gatti’s Pizza parking lot near LBJ and Skillman, a young guy asked me to donate cash to his Carter High School basketball team for a summer trip. I wondered why a Carter kid was in Lake Highlands, but didn’t get into it with him. The SMU baseball trip solicitors have been reported in Preston Hollow and North Dallas neighborhoods too, according to the notice.

—CHRISTINA HUGHES BABB, VIA BACK TALK PRESTON HOLLOW

One of these scammers knocked on my door claiming to be the son of a neighbor and on the TCU team. I asked his name and told him to come back after I verified. Needless to say, he was not listed on the team roster on the TCU website and there was no Hawaii trip listed in the team schedule. This was in the Preston Royal area.

—LMK,

VIA BACK TALK PRESTON HOLLOW

One of these scammers did the same thing to me — told me she was the daughter of a neighbor, wanted to know if I’d seen her mom walking their two black labs, and told me she was a U of Dallas soccer player wanting to go on a trip to Hawaii (she could afford the trip but some of her teammates couldn’t). I detected a smell of smoke on her, which was odd considering she was a soccer player, then we looked her up on the UD roster and didn’t find her. My husband tracked her down in the neighborhood and told her to leave or he was calling the cops. She left. I don’t open the door to anybody anymore because I figure if it’s somebody I want to see, they can call and let me know they’re coming.

—MARY MARY, VIA BACK TALK PRESTON HOLLOW

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More about what’s happening on Advocatemag.com p. 10 facebook / twitter /web & enewsletter / blog / podcasts/ facebook fan profile // Li LLy n eubauer, 24, is an account coordinator at a nonprofit marketing agency. She lives in Preston Hollow with her husband and a Maltesepoodle mix named Little Child. what’s a little-known fact about you? what’s your most treasured possession? if you could only eat at one neighborhood restaurant for the rest of your life, which would it be? I’ve spent an insane amount of time at the new Gattitown. The bumper cars are amazing! They even helped me throw a benefit night for a family friend whose daughter is fighting Leukemia. how would you explain your neighborhood to someone living in, say, newfoundland? Emerging but old-fashioned. All the convenience of living in a big city with a small town feel. what brings a smile to your face every time? Childhood photos of my sister and I. what item in your closet is most humiliating? I still have my Ursuline cheerleading uniform in my closet, even the bloomers with the bear paws on the rear. what do you miss about the you from 10 or 20 years ago? How much time I

I lived in Quito, Ecuador, as a child and fell in love with the culture. Dia de los Muertos is still one of my favorite holidays.

I call my husband “my greatest earthly blessing.” I also have a scar on my right knee from a college accident I refused to get stitches for that is pretty awesome. what makes you laugh out loud?

Stand-up comedy! My husband and I are huge advocates of its health benefits. The Addison Improv will occasionally release tickets for free to shows that have undersold, and we jump on it. Favorites we’ve seen live are Robert Klein, Jimmy Fallon and Jerry Seinfeld. what’s your strangest or most random Facebook friend connection? I’m friends with Gambino’s bakery in New Orleans just so their drool-inducing king cakes appear on my newsfeed for a few weeks every year.