Midlife Madness

As we go thought life we collect certain badges of honour. It may start simple with literal badges for achievement or effort – I am not a proud Blue Peter badge owner but I wish I was! As we get older the badges change a bit and we collect certificates and qualifications. But we might also get our ears (or other places) pierced, get tattoos, or wear particular clothes that somehow add to our sense of identity and may be worn with a great sense of pride.

Lots of people would wear an engagement or wedding ring with pride and of course ‘labels’ may be a great source of pride/honour to many – you wouldn’t hide a Louis Vuitton jacket or a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. They can be a badge that says look at me aren’t I doing well!

There are other less glamourous badges of honour too –children may have a sense of pride in a plaster following a break or even scuffed knees or minor injuries from sporting ‘heroism’.

Being pregnant is something most people feel immensely proud of and clearly, it’s something that becomes quite tough to hide, but many women enjoy the extra attention that being pregnant can bring -having a baby is a wonderfully life affirming thing and many people will chat and comment on brand new babies.

As we age, these badges may change, grey hair can be something that is seen as a bit of a badge (wrinkles less so perhaps) and even things like a walking stick can be seen as a ‘badge’ whilst having enormous practical advantages too.

As a grandma I have collected a number of badges lately though not all as tasteful as others.

Obviously, I love pushing the pram proudly or when in cafes wandering around with our little fairly newborn grandson and I delight in the oohs and aahs from perfect strangers who tell me how cute he is – I mean he is and that is clearly a very unbiased opinion.

But ‘baby’ badges don’t just end with pram pushing. I saw a brilliant meme the other day referring to the fact that new mums may talk of their baby being stinky – I mean they do eject a lot of bodily fluids from almost every orifice but many of us will remember that as a new mum finding times to shower may be tough and I bet we have all ventured out with some unseen baby puke down or back or even some very questionable stains on our jeans that we may not have noticed before leaving the house.

Having recently spent time with a fairly wee one I forgot how these tiny humans can create messes that far outweigh their size.

The poonamie that a new one can create has to be seen to be believed and of course one mess doesn’t stop another one so while trying to sort the first which pretty much spread over whole body – I do not believe they make a nappy that can cope with such an event this little chap chose that precise moment to unleash a wee of immense quantity too!

We all know too that babies are given to being sick – they know no moderation and will feed in a way to rival Roman orgies as in take way too much sick it up then go again. But that too can spread all over the place. The other thing babies do is choose their moments for these tsunami-like events. Usually just as you’ve got them and you ready to go out. Now I can wear a badge of grandmotherly honour in the form of a small stain but being covered in a variety of bodily fluids is a bit too much even for this very proud grandmother. So we change and the whole cycle begins again – such is life!