Scentsational Scents

from Affinity Luxury Lifestyle Magazine March 2020

Fry’s Footie Corner

for your Mum this Perfect Fragrances Mother’s Day A beautiful perfume is the ideal Mother’s Day gift for any mum, we’ve rounded up some of our favourites all available from www.perfumedirect.com

Hugo Boss The Scent, £32.99

Jean Paul Gaultier La Belle Eau de Parfum, £75.99

Jimmy Choo Flash, £29.99,

Boucheron Place Vendome, £18.99

Kenzo Jungle L'Elephant, £45.99 Thierry Mugler, Alien Flora, £29.99

Mark Jacobs Daisy Sunshine, £47.99

Five Steps to a More Mindful Life

Mindfulness is about paying attention in the present moment on purpose and without judgement. It is a powerful practice which can transform our lives. The only time we truly have is right now. When we lose presence, we run the risk of missing the moments that matter and not appreciating the value in our life. Mindfulness can change how we react to stress, how we deal with anxiety, how we interact with our friends and family and how we think, feel and behave.

Yoga specialist Hannah Barrett tells us “Bringing mindfulness into my life has been a game changer. It’s enabled me to address the challenges I used to face and flip my perspective on life. I set out five of my top tips below which will help you to bring more mindfulness into your everyday life and at the same time bring more happiness.

1. Take a deep breath Most people who teach mindfulness will start with the breath. After you read this paragraph, close your eyes. Bring to mind something that however big however small that you are finding difficult at the moment. Now notice the sensations that come up when you think of this. Maybe you feel it in your stomach or maybe your chest tightens. Now I want you to take five deep breaths. Inhale through the nose breathing into the belly, filling the chest and sending the breath all the way to the collar bones. Exhale slowly and mindfully through the nose. Don’t try and cover the feelings, instead breath into them. Let them be there and use your breath to help you.

Before you blink your eyes open, notice how those five slow breaths made you feel. Even if they helped even the tiniest amount, how huge is that? That we have this incredibly powerful tool in built in us that often we take for granted. Deep breathing triggers your body’s parasympathetic nervous system or your rest and digest system and it will also give you a greater sense of self awareness.

In your day to day life, pay attention to the way breathing feels. Watch your belly and chest rise and fall and feel your heartbeat. Notice how each breath looks different. This will immediately help you to feel more connected to your body and more grounded. You don’t need to change anything about the way you breathe, just being aware of your body will deepen your connection to the present.

And this ties in with meditation. There’s a good reason why many of the world’s most successful people practice meditation every day. We live in this society, particularly in London where everything is constantly moving, surrounded by technology and rarely switching off. It seems counterintuitive to prioritize time to be still when there are so many things to do. In fact, research shows that

just 10 minutes of meditation is enough to overcome stress and anxiety, will help you block out the internal thoughts of restlessness and allow you to concentrate better.

Start small. Start with five minutes after you wake or before bed where you simply sit and focus on your breath. Your mind with wander and that’s fine, gently bring yourself back to the breath. That simple act is mindfulness. There are loads of incredible apps out there which can help you too - my personal favourites are Headspace, Calm and Expectful.

2. Happy Habits Happy habits are a simple way to add more mindfulness and positivity into our lives. For me, my happy habits are in my morning and evening routine. Every morning I aim for ten minutes of meditation before I get out of bed. This doesn’t happen every day as life gets in the way. What I will say though is that when it doesn’t happen for days in a row I feel it, I notice that I get more stressed and challenges impact me more.

After I get my kids up I then include them in the rest of morning routine. We are think of how we are going to make the day great and three things we are grateful for. Maybe we sound like the Brady Bunch but try it next week and notice how starting your day with gratitude makes a difference. Starting the day with a positive outlook can make a huge difference. And doing it with the children can be really eye opening (and hilarious). The other day my four year old was grateful for his body because (in his words) I love jumping, his warm house and his chocolate croissant, and my two year old was grateful for daddy (it always starts with daddy!), mummy, Bernie the dog and after a bit of coaxing her big brother. Quite the variety but I love that we have these precious moments together.

My evening habits involve ending the day with a book (even if just for 5 minutes) and thinking back over the day and thinking of three good things that happened. This has the biggest impact on the bad days. The days which force you to rethink and again flip your perspective. Because if the good things that happened are that you had a warm shower, saw a loved one and you had a nice dinner actually how huge are those things.

3. See daily tasks as an opportunity to practice mindfulness Using mindfulness in daily tasks can help life feel less of a constant race and more meaningful. Folding laundry is a great example, how often do you fold laundry and let you mind race away with the days to do list or alternatively maybe your mind fills with negative feelings of the relentlessness of laundry and how you have better things to do. automatic, switch off the autopilot and pretend you’re folding for the first time. Bring gratitude into it. Be grateful for the clothes in front of you, the washing machine, the tumble dryer, the house over your head. The clothes you are folding for your children or your partner. Find gratitude that they are present in your live. It’s this simple act of being there, being present and flipping your perspective to see the beauty surrounding you rather than focusing on the negative.

To avoid going through life on auto-pilot, consciously focus on the sensory experiences that make life worth living. Next time you are out for a walk take note of your five sense. Take your headphones out and listen to the sounds around you, look for things you haven’t noticed before, maybe even literally stop and smell the roses.

4. Listen. Really listen When someone else is talking, do you often find yourself focused on your own thoughts? Thinking, do I agree, has this happened to me before? What can I say next? Did I turn the oven off? On the flip side, how many times have you experienced extreme frustration when trying to speak to someone who isn’t fully present.

If someone is talking to us, focusing all attention on them is an act of kindness and love. You will immediately be able to think of friends you have who are brilliant at really listening and being present. Start being fully present in conversations and you’ll be surprised how many people notice and appreciate this simple act.

This also relates to putting your phone away. Again, how many times have you been with a friend who spends half the time glancing at their phone? If you can, put it away and give your friend your full attention.

5. Immerse yourself in a meaningful hobby What do you love doing so much that being fully present isn’t an issue and time seems to fly when you’re doing it? Adding a mindful hobby into your life can add fulfilment, richness and most importantly fun.

My guilty pleasure is reading and when I was little, I would stay up at night reading the night away. In my twenties when I had a stressful job in finance my love of reading became a distant memory and only on a holiday I would return to books.

When I was reassessing my morning and evening routine, I realized that reading gives me time to unwind, let go of worries and simply be present. So now I read every night before bed and it brings me such joy and fulfilment. On nights I notice that my mind has started to wander and maybe I’ve read a page without taking it in, I’ll reset and go back to read with a more present mind.

21 Next time you’re in this situation, pay attention. Pay attention to your hands. How do they move, how do the different clothes feel under your skin? Notice the different textures and temperatures of the materials. Notice how each hand moves differently to the other. We overlook SO much in life. Try and switch off the So, whatever your vice is, whether it’s a good book, cooking, dancing, colouring... find something you love and add it into your life. You won’t regret it! Yoga Instructor Hannah Barrett’s Strength Through Yoga: The Circuits e-Book is available now at www.yogagirllondon.com

Midlife Madness

Like a lot of other people, I have become aware of the need to live a more sustainable lifestyle, and no I do not mean I am going to move to a croft or small holding, there won’t even be chickens in the garden. But I do try to do the right thing. I have become conscious of what I eat, what I wear, where I shop, what I drive and how I dispose of rubbish. And frankly all of them cause me grief. I haven’t eaten meat for years and generally feel that helps the world a bit, I’m careful to read labels but I do enjoy vegetables (we seem to say plant based food now!) but then someone on the radio was telling me it’s probably better to eat locally sourced sustainably produced meat than foods like avocadoes flown from far flung continents? Well that threw me! Like many families we enjoy a good debate! By that I mean a heated discussion that usually stops short of physical violence – the kind you can have in families, coz generally you love and accept each other even if some of the views of family members don’t align with our own. Well, from such family debates, I gather dairy isn’t very sustainable or kind, but I genuinely do not understand how people live without cheese, yoghurt, porridge eggs etc. Anyway, I can work on that! I’m trying really hard not to buy so many clothes and think about re using adapting or giving to and buying from charity shops. I even started trying to knit myself a jumper – I haven’t actually given up but pace is so slow I may be deceased before I finish it! Then there’s the issue of cars – it wasn’t so long ago that I bought a diesel car because it had such a low road tax –but hey they’ve changed their tune now about that – I feel like a climate destroyer every time I get behind the wheel. But the source of the greatest contention is recycling. What you can and can’t put where. Now every area is difficult and I tend to travel about the UK quite a bit for work and I almost go into a state of panic if left with a teabag to dispose of in a staff room! There are so many bins and sometimes a compostable bin too and some people say teabags are ok in there and others don’t. So, I stand there in the kitchen used teabag on a spoon and go into a state of panic. I have been told off before for putting it in the wrong bin, well not actually told off, but someone drew attention to the fact that a teabag had found its way into the wrong bin – I must confess I tutted with the best of them but didn’t own up. Terrible I know! Instant coffee for me now – it just saves the hassle! At home compostable food waste isn’t collected so tea is still on my menu there. However, there are a lot of other issues on the recycling conflict agenda for us. I mean what does recycling mean? What can you actually recycle anyway? And does it need to be rinsed, or crushed or something else! And what about the things that are paper, I thought that was a given, but apparently not. Wrapping paper for example, a big fat question mark over that one and what if it’s got Sellotape on? Does that mean it’s no longer recyclable? And I honestly just don’t know any more about paper wrapping on foods – does it have to be pristine and clean? In our house I tend now to do secret recycling after too many stand up rows about what we all think should or shouldn’t go in the recycling bin. Some things I understand unequivocally shouldn’t because if the bin emptier finds them they don’t empty the bin and leave a very helpful leaflet about what can and can’t be recycled. No it hasn’t happened to us….yet! 16

Coco & Cherimoya Body Lotion, £34, www.guavaandgold.com

Butter Dish, £19.50, Oliver Bonas

Gold Leaf Spoon, £12, www.shop.roh.org.uk

Cami & Short Set, £22, Debenhams

Gold Beetle Wall Decor, £74, www.audenza.com

Sunglasses, £35, Dune London

HOT PICKS AFFINITY Dragonfly Ring, £198, Thomas Sabo

This month’s must have gifts and accessories

Sling Back Heels, £85, Dune London

Toscana Sheepskin Gilet, £420, www.celticandco.com Jasper Conran Acrylic Clutch, £75, Debenhams

Red Herring Cropped Jacket, £35, Debenhams

Rotary Watch, £239, www.rotarywatches.com

Mum’s the Word

This month is Mother’s Day, which means only one thing, it’s time to spoil all those amazing mummy’s out there. We’ve put together some of our favourite gifts.