Why My Being Good Enough Relies on My Receiving

by Theresa Boedeker

Do you struggle with believing you are good enough? That you are truly loved, not for what you say and do, but for who you are?

My daughter will tell me I am the best mother ever. And if I am having a not so good day, I doubt her words. I instead may recall how I am not surpassing the mothering expectations I have for myself.

My ears distinguish her words. “You are the best mom ever.”

But my ears sometimes disbelieve what I have heard. My mind may ask how can I be the best mom if I nag her about her bedroom?

I sometimes even question her. “Really?”

“Yes,” she repeats.

She is preaching back to me what I preach to her. That she is not her grades. Her worth is not dependent on doing her chores. Her mistakes and sins do not define her.

Both of us are trying to remember these truths. Base our life on them.

We live in a world where performance, doing, and earning are how we judge each other. And because others measure our worthiness by our outcomes, deeds, and accomplishments, we think that God does too.

But the truth is, He doesn’t. He has already conferred our worth. We can’t earn it, raise it, or even prove it. Nor will it disappear or be taken from us.

Just like we claim our children and love them, God claims us as His children. He chooses to love us and care for us and work with us. To treat us as His beloved. Not because we are worthy or have earned it, but because He chooses to.

Just like our newborn babies did not earn their worth, our love, and their place in our family, the same goes for us.

He looks at us through His son’s reflection and deems us His daughter who He is delighted in. His daughter who is perfectly good enough. Not because of what we do or don’t do. But because of what Jesus has done.

Our emotions, our thoughts, or actions may tell us otherwise. That we don’t measure up. That we are not good enough and other such lies. It is up to us whether we will believe our own wisdom, or the truth and word of God.

So, when my daughter says I am the best mom ever, I try to receive her words and remind myself of God’s truth.

God is not judging me through the lens I view myself. He is not waiting for me to stumble. He is not trying to determine my worth based upon my day or actions.

He is looking at me with unconditional love. A love that is secure. A love that does not rise and fall on a daily basis. A love that wants the best for me no matter my actions. A love that forgives and redeems my sins and mistakes. A love that comforts, encourages, and helps me to become more like Him.

My daughter loves words. Affirming words fill her up like food satisfies the stomach. Affirming words spell love to her. And they do me too. But sometimes I still doubt affirming words and read them through my emotions and events of the day.

Maybe you relate. You feel your worth slide down like a careening roller coaster when critical or judgmental words come your way.

Once again, I can choose to listen to the words of others and base my worth and esteem on what they say about me, or I can focus on the words of God’s love and His actions towards me that are strewn through the Bible.

His words of affirmation say I am redeemed, made for good works, that He pursues me, that He works things out for my good, that nothing can separate me from Him, that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that He is like a mother hen gathering His children under His wings.

Once again it is my choice. I can choose to rely on my own thoughts and the words and opinions of others, or I can rely on His.

I will never meet my own or others’ expectations, nor can I live up to His perfection. Either way I am lacking. So humbly I stand before Him, needy, and receive His free gifts of love, grace, and mercy. Not because I have earned them, but because He freely offers them.

He gives and I receive. He confers my worth, I receive it. Appreciate it.

I am not good enough because I think I am or because of what I do. I am good enough because He says I am. It is He who deems me perfectly good enough.

Theresa Boedeker is a storyteller, humor hunter, and encourager to others. She is passionate about helping women smash lies with God’s truth. Overcome shame. Learn to laugh at life and themselves Notice God’s love and grace And not be afraid of making mistakes.

She unwraps life and faith at TheresaBoedeker.com. She has two children and a husband. When she is not writing, she enjoys doing creative things like cooking, making jewelry, and taking photos of flowers (they never run from the picture)