Afraid Magazine

Why our generation lives in fear

SPRING 2015

HACK ATTACK NOT YOUR DADDY’S DEBT SURVEILLANCE IN THE NURSERY

Letter from the Editor

Editorial Senior Editors Sarah Brownson Tyler Gieseke Andy Gutierrez Jenny Handke Associate Editors Parker Lemke Clint Santo Brianna Vitands Staff Writer Valory Schoenecker

Design Assistant Art Directors Katie Galloway Midge Reller Logan Wroge Staff Photographers Marcus Carrigan Evan Lemmerman

Web Web Art Director Sam Schaust Web Writers Sarah Connor Blair Emerson Lyra Fontaine

A little over ten years later, I can picture myself in this moment and snicker. The thought of nine being an old age seems absurd now, but then, it was as real as any other fear. Who’s to say which fears are legitimate and which are trivial? If it’s consuming you, it’s real.

In this magazine, you’ll find a variety of interpretations of fear: from escaping highcontrol religious groups (pg. 20) to struggling with gender, sexuality, and race binaries (pg. 30). But Afraid also explores modes of coping with fear: from having your voice heard through hip-hop (pg. 38) to meditating, practicing self-love, and finding support systems (pg. 18).

So what has putting together this magazine and website taught me about fear? Mostly that those who claim they live without fear are full of it—full of lies and full of fear.

Trying so hard to live a life without fear sounds like “fear of fear” to me. Tell me you’re not scared of rejection. Tell me you’re not scared of making a wrong turn at the wrong time on the wrong road. Tell me you’re not scared of letting a loved one down.

The truth is, we’re all a little scared. And that’s okay.

Grace Birnstengel Editor

Mission

Afraid is a magazine and website produced by students at the University of Minnesota that examines and analyzes our generation’s most unique, common, irrational, and real fears through social, cultural, and political lenses. Millennials only know a post-9/11 world where privacy is scarce, media distorts information, and people hurt others in the name of religion, yet we’re supposed to exist like nothing is wrong. In our work you’ll find news stories, photo essays, infographics, long-form features, personal exposes, and multimedia elements that inspire readers to engage in courageous conversation about fear. Challenge yourself to sit with these uncomfortable words, because fear is ubiquitous.

Thank You

The students of Afraid would like to thank the University of Minnesota School of Journalism & Mass Communication and Dr. Albert Tims for giving us the opportunity to create a magazine from scratch. We are also forever grateful for Elizabeth Foy Larsen and Jeanne Schacht—the guiding voices and backbone of this publication. Afraid is made possible by the Milton L. Kaplan Memorial Fund.

COVER MODEL: BRYN GLEASON PHOTOGRAPHED BY MARCUS CARRIGAN

Management Editor-in-Chief: Grace Birnstengel Managing Editors: Meritte Dahl Sam Jasenosky Art Director: Megan Shircel Web Editor: Sarah Barchus

As an 8-year-old girl, I remember sitting on my twin bed in the sweltering Minnesota summer humidity, arms around my knees, panicking over the impending 19th day of August—an ordinary day for most, but for me, the day I blew out candles and made a wish. I was devastated. I had on an itchy blue sweater with an oversized number eight embroidered on the front. My age would no longer ring harmoniously with my favorite piece of clothing. I’d be nine. And nine meant getting old.

What’s Inside Features 14

Viral Scare Do the media distort epidemics?

18 Overcoming Fear

How to keep calm and carry on

39

20 Leap of Faith

Why I stopped being a Jehovah’s Witness

24 Not Your Daddy’s Debt

30

28 Photo Essay

32

Is college worth the price tag?

You’ve Been Warned

34 36 38 39 41

04

Let Me Be Me Struggling with the identity binary Surveillance in the Nursery When monitoring babysitters, parents teeter between trust and paranoia Everyday Misogyny Life as a woman in a man’s world Cheap Scares Filmmakers try their hands at low-budget horror A Catalyst for Courage Local artist says hip-hop gives voice to the voiceless Unshakeable A talk with “Naked and Afraid” star Forrest Galante Quiz Do You Know the Facts of Fear?

Also in this issue 02 04 07 08 09 10 11

The Day it All Changed Remembering 9/11 Inside Riverside Plaza The colors of fear in one of Minneapolis’ most diverse communities What Keeps You Up at Night?

Millennials share their answers Fear by the Numbers Measuring fright, terror, and other scary stuff The Anatomy of Fear Your body under stress Hack Attack Digital crime in the 21st Century When Anxiety Becomes a Disorder Students share their strategies for managing worry

14 AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

1

The Day it

All Changed Remembering 9/11

By Valory Schoenecker

AS THE MORNING LIGHT shined through the windows of my grandparent’s San Diego condo, my sister and I sat on the living room carpet and played with my Barbies.

My grandparents cooked pancakes while my mother got ready to take us to the community swimming pool.

The sunniest morning of my memory quickly turned into a state of confusion, chaos, and darkness. Television broadcasts of violent scenes filled that day. I watched as the World Trade Center burst into flames without an ounce of warning to those in the building.

As the images flashed across the screen, my mom threw her hands over her face to catch her tears. My grandparents, who used to live near the New York metro area, picked up the telephone and frantically dialed their relatives and family friends to make sure they were safe.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, this day would define my generation. This was September 11, 2001.

2

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

“Millennials have come of age in a world marred by terrorism, warfare, and global conflict. They have grown up in a world where, thanks to the Internet and mobile phones, instant messaging, and 24/7 news coverage, nothing can be hidden from them,” said Dr. Jarret Brachman, who used to work on global terrorism issues for the C.I.A., and has an impressive resume of terrorism-related work.

I saw people jump out of 60-story windows, falling to the doom of their death.

I was only 7 years old, but couldn’t help but understand how tragic it was that they chose to die instead of burn to death.

My grandparents felt the anxiety shared by thousands of Americans as they waited for news of missing loved ones. We later found out that some of their friends died.

It wasn’t until a plane hit the second tower that my family realized the destruction was an act of terror, not a tragic accident. Someone had decided to kill thousands of innocent people on purpose, but why?

PHOTOS: SHARON AND PATRICK SHOENECKER

“Every generation has a moment that grips them, a touchstone where the world, for however brief, made no sense,” Brachman said. “I think such moments force us to pause and take stock of what we do have in our lives and, with hope, inspire us to do what we can to work toward a path of hope and peace.”

My mom, my sister, and I didn’t live in San Diego. We were vacationing and still had to get home to San Francisco, but all airports were shut down. Late that night, our grandparents dropped us off at a Greyhound bus stop.

As we waited for the bus to arrive, I scoped out the crowd. Some people were still crying. Others were merely overcome by sadness. Everyone was frightened. No one gave a friendly smile and no one trusted anyone.

When we got onto the bus, my mom sat my sister and me next to the bus window while she sat by the aisle and held us tightly against her chest. I knew she had never been more afraid in her entire life. She couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. The fact that my mom couldn’t stop crying made me feel helpless. As a kid, you expect your parents to solve every problem and to make you feel better when you are sad.

But on September 11, I was the one calming down my mom. She needed it more than I did.

The scariest part about that day was that I didn’t have any clue about what was happening. I didn’t understand that nations would eventually go to war. I didn’t comprehend why a group of people would willingly commit suicide in order to kill thousands of innocent Americans. Looking back on it now, I can’t even remember a time without high security in airports or without the constant sight of army soldiers filling news broadcasts.

Brachman used to teach college students and is consistently amazed at how relevant 9/11 remains in their

lives. “They may have blurry memories of the day, but the attacks are far from history,” Brachman said. “They had to rely on cues from their teachers, their parents, and those in their community, and I think it was a process that took shape over the course of years.”

American millennials now think of countries like Afghanistan and Iraq as our enemy. We know the names of ter-

rorist groups like Al-Shabaab and Al-Qaida. We see soldiers in the media every day. We’ve learned about an emerging medium called Al Jazeera, a broadcast news station based out of Afghanistan, which grew famous because of its broadcast of the war. Millennials only know a world filled with terrorism, and that’s fully attributed to our 9/11 experience and the war that started because of it.

The fear we felt on September 11, 2001 will stay with us on every airline flight and every trip to national monuments. It will remind us to say how much we love those close to us, because we understand that life can be taken away without a nation’s permission. While I’d do anything to regain that optimism I felt playing Barbies at my grandparents’ home, my generation has turned 9/11 into a call for action.

“What I’ve seen in my students is a seriousness of purpose when talking about their role in this world and a commitment to finding new paths to peace where previous generations have been unable,” Brachman said. “I’m optimistic that this generation will advance humanity forward and, while learning the lesson of history, not feel bogged down by it.”

Top: Schoenecker at age 7 Bottom: Schoenecker (right, age 7) and sister Dani (left, age 6) AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

3

In Our Time /

Inside Riverside Plaza The colors of fear in one of Minneapolis’ most diverse communities

IF YOU TAKE A DRIVE down I-35W, you can’t help but see giant concrete buildings, each decorated in primary-colored panels with a steady stream of smoke billowing from the top. Called Riverside Plaza, these apartments are the core of Minneapolis’ Cedar-Riverside neighborhood.

Built in 1973, the structure designed by architect Ralph Rapson now houses nearly 4,500 residents and provides many social services such as computer labs and job training. It entered into the U.S. National Register of Historic Places in 2010 and completed a $65 million renovation in 2012 as part of a $132 million project to uplift the area.

The Cedar-Riverside community is also home to popular businesses such as the Nomad World Pub, Cedar Cultural Center, Triple Rock, and Hard Times Café.

Despite these thriving businesses, the neighborhood suffers from an ongoing stigma that it’s an unsafe place to live. In fact, Riverside Plaza is informally known as the “Crack Stacks.”

4

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

Today, many residents are doing what they can to shed the name and any negative connotations people may have of Riverside Plaza.

Nasser Mussa is from Ethiopia and lived in Kenya for most of his life. He moved to the United States when he was 17, and graduated from the University of Minnesota. He is currently a policy fellow at the Humphrey School of Public Affairs at the University. He’s also a resident at Riverside Plaza.

For Mussa, the misperceptions stem from a fear of difference, which he thinks can be bridged through dialogue between people. From his time working with the Minnesota House of Representatives, he learned about listening to multiple sides of an issue. He connected his experiences to how fear can be perpetuated by things different from us.

“There’s always fear that like, you know, my neighbors are not from here.

My neighbors are from a different part of the world, but that might create problems for me, for my children, that might

change what I know. It is always fear, but I enjoy that. I’m not confined in one point of view.”

Mussa believes that one of the best things that people can do is talk to each other and encourage conversation cross-culturally.

As the volunteer service director and program assistant at the Cedar Riverside Adult Education School, Mussa said there are many services that connect people in the area to resources.

“We are geographically sandwiched in between two really great societies,” Mussa said. The Cedar-Riverside community is between the world of academia, including Augsburg College and the University, and downtown Minneapolis.

Still, Mussa has a positive outlook on the relationship between Cedar-Riverside and the University. For him, people need to make sure they are speaking up about positive things that are happening in the neighborhood.

“It really requires some kind of

PHOTOS: MARCUS CARRIGAN

By Marcus Carrigan

/ In Our Time

building relationship and going out of your comfort zone and saying, ‘well I have this kind of perception, but what is the reality?’”

WHAT CAN STUDENTS DO? So what can University students do to demystify Riverside Plaza and Cedar-Riverside? Students can go out and have coffee in the vibrant community, Mussa said. He thinks students should ask, “How can I expand my understanding of this neighborhood?”

His suggestion sparked memories of my freshman year at the University. Several of my peers referred to some building on the West Bank as the “Crack Stacks.” I didn’t know what these things were, and to be honest, I was probably too focused on figuring out where my classes were to care. But what I also didn’t notice was an insidious fear growing inside of me. I received emails about different thefts and crime in all different neighborhoods, and my walls started going up.

Other students feel the same way.

Crystal Deng, a senior in the Carlson School of Management at the University said she doesn’t like walking on the West Bank after dark because it makes her feel unsafe. Not having spent much time in the neighborhood, Deng admits her opinion is skewed.

“Everything I know about Riverside Plaza is second hand information that I’ve heard elsewhere.”

For Osman Ahmed, Riverside Plaza was his first home in the U.S. when he moved in April 1996. “At that time, our community, the East African community, there were very few East Africans there.

Now it’s about, I would say, 80 percent.”

Ahmed was the minister of finance and treasury in Somalia. Once in Minneapolis, he graduated from St. Mary’s University and served on the boards for the West Bank Community Coalition and the Confederation of Somali Community in Minnesota. He is also the president of the Riverside Plaza Tenant Association.

Nasser Mussa points to a small school ouside his living room window

He lives in both Riverside Plaza and Columbia Heights. He bought a home in Columbia Heights for his family, but kept an apartment in Riverside Plaza so he can take care of his mother. But some residents aren’t so lucky.

RISING COSTS “The worry is, compared to the last five years, this neighborhood is getting better. Better than before. The crime is very low compared to the last couple of years,” Ahmed said. “Every year we are improving. It is something that developers are attracted to. If the neighborhood is bad, who is going to spend their money? But if the neighborhood is improving, everyone is going to want to spend their money, build their houses, you know?”

Ahmed brings over a letter from Sherman Associates addressed to him.

His rent will reach $655 for a one-bedroom apartment next year. He explained that his apartment rent was raised last year by 10 percent to reach his current price of $595. This year his lease is ending on May 31, and Sherman Associates will add another 10 percent to his rent next year.

Ahmed is gracious to Sherman Associates for being one of the first welcoming groups to the East African community, especially because of their help to families with no credit history. Still, problems exist. According to Ahmed, the majority of residents, about 62 to 65 percent, are part of Section 8 housing reserved for low-income families. The rest of the apartments are at market rate. This is difficult, he said, because there is a limit for how much the market rate apartments can rent for. “If they exceed that limit, they’re gonna send to you a letter saying ‘we cannot afford [to house you at this rate].’ So you have to move out. So people are very afraid of that, even though we have had a lot of AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

5

In Our Time /

discussions with Sherman Associates,” Ahmed said.

His job largely has him attempting to gain input from Riverside Plaza tenants.

He advocates for English classes, housing, and jobs for residents.

A few years ago Ahmed said his job had him mainly focused on adults, but is now shifting toward younger generations. A new program he is developing helps create solutions for family problems. Ahmed believes that tenants are worried about the youth in the buildings being targeted and brainwashed by extremist groups.

In addition to the negative images the media chooses to focus on in the Cedar-Riverside community, residents sometimes have negative feelings toward the University. Ahmed said that the residents sometimes believe that University students who are residents in the area are directly affiliated with the University administration. They believe that Cedar-Riverside residents are helping the University grow, and should there-

fore reap at least some of the benefits and resources it has to offer.

“They believe it’s one way coming from [the University] from the students who want to have research in the Plaza, but nothing coming back from them,” Ahmed said.

TERRORIZED BY TERRORISM For residents, there is the ever-present specter of terrorism. Ahmed mentioned the community’s fear of terrorism, and the fear of being blamed for terrorist activities. Something Ahmed made very clear was that he and other Muslims are just as affected by terrorists as anyone.

In an American culture where the ubiquitous and inescapable feelings of fear have led to assumptions of Riverside Plaza, the tenants and leaders of the building said that this fear is not one-sided. Many of us feel fear regardless of our unique identities. The next time you feel afraid, especially of another person, challenge yourself to question the reasons behind it. Do you

Nasser Mussa walks through the hallway outside of his apartment in Riverside Plaza

6

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

know this person’s story? Could they feel the same way about you? If you have the opportunity, start a conversation. Ask questions. Look your fears in the face.

For Ahmed, hopes are high that there can be a sustained conversation between the University and the Cedar-Riverside community. He hopes that students can work on their capstone projects, and that the results can benefit the community.

“We need the mainstream people to understand… all Muslims are not bad. All Riverside Community are not bad. The bad people are very few. How can we work together to highlight [the good]?” Ahmed said. “Students just hear the information from the media, but they’re not connected to the Plaza or this community. Just four blocks away from where you come every morning, and spend most of your time.”

/ In Our Time

What Keeps You up at Night?

Millennials share their answers

By Katie Galloway

WHENEVER PEOPLE ASK me what I want to be when I grow up, my first response is always that I want to be a mom, and the biggest fear I have in life is that I’m not going to be able to be one. I don’t know if that means not being able to have children of my own or not being able to follow through with an adoption, but my biggest fear is definitely not being able to have kids.

I’M AFRAID of my mom. I love her to death and she’s done a ton for me, but my parents are divorced so I’ve always been pretty independent and just kind of always did my own thing. And I guess you could say that even despite that, she still hovers and tries to dictate everything that I do. So it’s always been a balancing act between doing what I actually want to do and doing what she wants me to do without her noticing that I’m balancing between the two. Because when I don’t do what she wants me to do, it doesn’t end very well. She’s scary… Irish Catholic.

MY GREATEST FEAR is my last name dying with me. Can you elaborate?

What more is there to say? That’s my greatest fear. I’m the bastard son of a man who didn’t even try to make an effort to be in my life. I don’t want to continue that cycle. I want to have a son and I want to be there for him.

“I’m the bastard son of a man who didn’t even try to make an effort to be in my life.”

PHOTOS: KATIE GALLOWAY

I’M FROM HAWAII, born and raised. I came to the University of Minnesota because of [Carlson School of Management], but I don’t have any family here, and I didn’t know anyone before I moved. People are so different in Hawaii. It’s like everyone is a part of one big family. Everyone looks out for each other, and it’s so laid back. Then I come here and it’s like everyone is in a big hurry. It’s hard to adapt to a society where people are always stressed out and rushing. It makes me stressed out too. Sometimes I worry I’m just going to get lost in the crowd, you know? Like I just won’t be able to keep up.

I HAVE ALWAYS AVOIDED driving after failing my driver’s test over a decade ago. The woman who tested my driving skills at the D.M.V. yelled at me many times throughout my test and then failed me. She said I needed to return the following week. It has been 14 years, and I still have yet to return for a second attempt at passing the driver’s test. It created fear in me that told me I am not suited for the road, as well as the fear of being in a fatal car crash. People tend to question why I never pursued my license. I am now 30 with a Ph.D., but no driver’s license. My fiancée does all the driving. My fiancée and I speak of having a family soon. These plans require me to drive in order to reach doctor visits and run weekend errands. The time has come now for me to face my fear and apply for the driver’s permit. I do not regret missing out on driving these last 30 years, but I have to overcome my fear for the sake of my family’s future.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

7

In Our Time /

Fear by the Numbers Measuring fright, terror, and other scary stuff

By Meritte Dahl

LIVING IN FEAR Some things inflict fear across many generations, while others only affect certain age groups. Fear can be universal, or specific to a culture or country. Our generation has grown up in a world affected by terrorist attacks and economic recession, making us a uniquely afraid group of citizens.

6.3 million

Americans with a diagnosed phobia

11.4 percent of young adults ages 18-25 who have received treatment for mental illness in the last year

18.2 percent

of University of Minnesota students who have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder

THE ART OF FEAR From vampires to zombies to serial killers, spooky stories inspire every artistic canvas. Novels, films, art, amusement rides, and haunted houses have been created to provide terror and entertainment across centuries.

5 Academy Awards won by The Silence of the Lambs

FEAR AROUND THE CORNER Each day we are faced with fears, both real and perceived. From creepy-crawlies to risky transportation, everyone can find a fear to share with another person.

0.000138 percent

chance of dying in a plane crash

54 books written by Stephen King 17 victims of serial killer Jeffrey 60 films directed by Alfred Hitchcock Dahmer 156 episodes in the original series 72 unprovoked shark attacks of “The Twilight Zone”

worldwide in 2013

200+ films that have been made that feature Count Dracula, a feat second only to Sherlock Holmes

5 fatal shark attacks worldwide each year

“hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia,” the fear of long words 74 percent 999 ghosts in the Haunted Mansion of Americans with glossophobia, attraction at Disneyland 494 people injured on roller the fear of public speaking coasters in 2013 1818 author Mary Shelly 1933 President published Frankenstein anonymously Franklin D. Roosevelt said, 15,458 zombies gathered in “The only thing we have to fear Minneapolis for the Zombie Pub Crawl 1893 Expressionist artist is fear itself,” in 2014, setting a Guinness World 36 letters in

in his inauguration speech

27,300 dollars

in median debt of Minnesota graduates of four-year programs in 2013

8

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

Edvard Munch painted The Scream

24,000 people on the waitlist

for McKamey Manor, the world’s scariest haunted house, in 2014

Record

35,000 named species of spiders around the world

/ Science & Technology

The Anatomy of Fear Your body under stress

ILLUSTRATION: LAUREN COOPER

By Tyler Gieseke

ENTERING A DARK ALLEYWAY, you hear the rattle of a garbage can and a stray cat’s pained howl. Immediately, your heart thumps, your breath races, and your stomach churns. Thoughts swirl: Was that a mouse? A murderer?

On impulse, you run to safety. When the danger’s gone, your calm slowly returns.

Fear is an emotion meant to properly equip the body to act in response to a perceived threat—whether that action is running from a predator or making a good impression during a speech. Also known as the fight-or-flight response, it’s a complex system of hormones and bodily changes that work to make you maximally adaptive, said Matt Kushner, a professor in the University of Minnesota’s Psychiatry Department.

“The body assumes that you’re going to be acting vigorously,” he said.

Although fear is usually something people like to avoid, it isn’t all bad, Kushner said. When it’s functioning properly, fear can keep you alive if you’re in mortal danger, or help you deal with a stressful situation.

What’s more, learning exactly how fear shows itself in the body is critical so you can better identify it when it’s happening and try to calm yourself down, according to Daniel Goleman in his acclaimed book, Emotional Intelligence.

DECREASED SALIVATION Ever felt your mouth go dry as you get up to speak in front of the class? That’s your fear response. Since it’s part of digestive functioning, salivation isn’t necessary in the face of a threat. “The body is shutting down systems that it believes are unnecessary for survival in an emergency situation,” Kushner said. “It’s deploying those assets elsewhere.”

RAPID BREATHING As the body prepares to react to the threat, the lungs work overtime to deliver as much oxygen to the muscles as possible.

QUICKENED HEARTBEAT One of the most prominent signs of fear, the heart speeds up to provide more oxygen and blood to the body, psychiatry professor Kushner said.

INCREASED SWEATING Scientists are unsure exactly why the hands and underarms sweat during stress, but the smell may warn others of potential danger, according to a 2011 study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.

RAPID, FOCUSED THOUGHTS To determine how to react to the situation at hand, the brain focuses energy on the source of fear, according to a 2002 study on the biology of fear published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine.

DILATED PUPILS In an effort to take in more sensory information that could help decide the best course of action, the pupils dilate during fear, sometimes producing blurry vision.

INHIBITED DIGESTIVE FUNCTIONS Blood is routed away from the stomach and other digestive organs during a fear response.

Instead, that blood surges to the limbs, making it easier to throw a punch or turn tail and run.

RELAXED BLADDER Having an increased urge to use the bathroom is also a sign of fear or stress. Since holding it in isn’t essential to survival, the body is deciding to let it go.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

9

Science & Technology /

Hack Attack Digital crime in the 21st Century

RACHEL LEE IS WARY of using her credit card for purchases from large companies.

The 23-year-old medical laboratory sciences senior at the University of Minnesota had her credit card information stolen in the December 2013 breach of Target’s security system, a heist that included the theft of upwards of 70 million customers’ personal information, including credit card numbers, names, phone numbers, and home and email addresses.

“It makes me never want to use my credit card,” Lee said, “but that’s where we are in today’s world. No one writes a check anymore.”

After that fiasco, Lee hoped her troubles were over. But about a year later, hackers stole her information again— this time as part of November’s Home Depot breach.

A string of high-profile security breaches of major corporations—including Target, Home Depot, and Sony— have students concerned about the safety of their personal information that’s left potentially vulnerable in the digital world.

The United States Secret Service, which inspects financial crimes in addition to protecting the president, investigated the Target breach. But other government agencies like the F.B.I. are also dedicated to fighting cybercrimes.

Each of the bureau’s 56 field offices has a cybersquad that looks into computer intrusions and computer-related crimes.

“Cybercrime is a developing area for the F.B.I.,” Division Counsel Greg Boo10

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

salis of the F.B.I. Minneapolis field office said. “We’ve been putting an increasing amount of resources towards cyber investigation.”

The F.B.I.’s cybercrime division investigates terrorism, organized crime, “hacktivists” who fight for their cause via harassment and breaking into systems, and the broad category of hacking, which includes foreign state-sponsored hacking as well as general hacking in the public and private sectors.

If you’re the victim of hacking or have your credit card number or identity stolen, Boosalis said you should file a report with the local authorities and the F.B.I. Your individual case may help agents establish patterns and find the criminals responsible for large-scale cybercrimes.

High-profile attacks like the Target security breach are usually the work of organized crime, Boosalis said, although he couldn’t comment on the Target breach specifically.

Stephen McCamant, a computer science professor at the University of Minnesota, said credit cards’ ease of use goes hand in hand with the risk of having personal information stolen.

“If someone gets your name, address, and social security number, it’s not necessarily hard for them to pretend to be you to get a new credit card.”

Companies can issue a credit card without much verification beyond those three pieces of information, he said—and should a criminal open a credit card in

your name, it could damage your credit score and chances of being approved for a new card or loan.

In retrospect, the Target incident could have been avoided, McCamant said.

“Many situations like this involve software vulnerabilities. Ideally the software wouldn’t have those in the first place.”

But even noticing and removing those particular soft spots in the system might not have been enough, McCamant said.

Considering the speed of today’s hackers, it’s possible they could have found and exploited a different weakness in Target’s system.

McCamant also pointed out that the level of safety often comes down to whether companies are “paying close attention to their system” to avoid major breaches in the future.

According to the experts, there are a few easy ways you can reduce your risks while using the Internet. Boosalis said changing passwords on a regular basis is one of the best methods to keep information from being stolen, along with making sure your computer’s antivirus software is always up to date. Never clicking on links or download attachments from suspicious emails can also help.

To protect himself, Anderson doesn’t store his credit card information on his online accounts.

“It’s a hassle to enter your credit card information every time, but that’s what I do,” he said.

ILLUSTRATION: BRECK HICKMAN

By Clint Santo

/ Science & Technology

When Anxiety Becomes a Disorder Students share their strategies for managing worry

By Sarah Barchus

IT’S SAID THAT the courageous aren’t without fear, but they instead deem something more important than their fears. Likewise, to cope with anxiety disorders, assigning the correct importance to fear is key.

“Being fearful is not a problem in itself,” Matt Kushner, a professor in the University of Minnesota’s Psychiatry Department, said. Anxiety disorders occur when someone’s reaction to fear becomes excessive, he explained.

PHOTOS: MARCUS CARRIGAN AND EVAN LEMMERMAN

“Being fearful is not a problem in itself.”

Young people are particularly susceptible to excessive fear and worry.

Millennials made up a sizable portion of the 13 million Americans who had an anxiety disorder last year, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health. In fact, nearly 7 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds reported having an anxiety disorder.

At the University of Minnesota, about 10 percent of students reported being diagnosed with anxiety in 2013, according to the Boynton Health Service College Student Health Survey.

Here are the stories of a few who effectively manage challenges with their mental health.

EVAN CASEY LISH—POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER “Submarines are supposed to submerge, not sink,” Evan Casey Lish said.

Before the senior began pursuing his Bachelor of Arts in psychology, he spent almost three years on the U.S.S.

Michigan, a submarine assigned to nuclear deterrence. During that time, due to a mistaken command, a sleep-deprived crew, and a stressful preparation for an engineering evaluation, the sub almost went down—and a 21-yearold Lish with it.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

11

Science & Technology /

“Worry is not bad. It’s problem solving. When it’s not fine is when the brain gets stuck on a loop of problem solving, but also on trying to solve a problem that’s not real.”

“We were seconds away from all dying,” Lish said. Afterward, Lish suffered from nightmares, a heightened startle, and flashbacks—all symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

College students can experience P.T.S.D. without ever stepping on a battlefield, Patricia Frazier, a psychology professor at the University, said.

However, only about 5 percent of traumatic events lead to P.T.S.D. in college students. “Some people are just more reactive to stress.”

To be diagnosed with P.T.S.D., symptoms have to last at least one month and impair functioning, Frazier said. Lish’s symptoms were severe, and his superiors removed him from the sub so he could get help. That help meant exposure therapy, where patients usually relive their fears in a safe setting to overcome them. Later he joined the army, where being surrounded by supportive people who had experienced similar trauma helped him “heal some of the scars.”

Ten years later, Lish still can’t talk about the incident. “I don’t know if I can say I’m emotionally stable,” Lish said, “but I’m at least one standard deviation or more improved.”

12

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

CJ BILLHORN—GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER In high school, CJ Billhorn worried about little. He rarely studied, had a 4.0 G.P.A., and aspired to become a doctor.

“I always thought life would be easy,” Billhorn said.

That changed after Billhorn’s first semester in college. He worked harder than his peers, but still couldn’t keep up. His G.P.A. fell, and he began panicking about medical school, anticipating rejection.

“I thought, ‘What’s the point of trying?’” Billhorn said. He ruminated on minor test mistakes and fretted about how others perceived him. Normally outgoing, he drew inside himself, perpetually

preoccupied. Eventually, he saw a doctor who diagnosed him with generalized anxiety disorder, or what Kushner calls “the worry disorder.” “[Worry] is not bad. It’s problem solving,” Kushner said. “When it’s not fine is when [the brain] gets stuck on a loop of problem solving, but also on trying to solve a problem that’s not real.” This can be remedied by putting problems into their contexts, Kushner said.

Besides taking medication, Billhorn began talking to people about his worry. “Other people help you reframe,” he said.

Now the senior is less stressed and envisions a future helping others as a physician’s assistant.

/ Science & Technology

BECCA HERRON—OBSESSIVECOMPULSIVE DISORDER The counting began as an escape from the monotony of high school swimming practices. But it took a vicious turn, progressing to tracking every step and noting the number of tiles on the ceiling or pieces of lettuce in a salad.

Engineering senior Becca Herron said she began counting to avoid stressful moments of unproductivity.

Kushner said there are two parts to obsessive-compulsive disorder: Obsessions, which are feared thoughts or images, and compulsions, which are rituals performed to moderate or avoid fear.

The severity of the illness is measured by the intensity of the worry and the number of hours a person spends on compulsions each day.

“I focused on [counting] so much that I stopped talking to people,” Herron said. “College was good for me. It forced me to be around my peers.”

Herron visited a therapist a few times, but she said simply rationalizing with herself has made a big difference. “Every time I realize what’s going on, it’s a pretty big motivator to stop.”

ALEX GERMAN—GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER AND ANXIETY ATTACKS His heart raced. His breath didn’t satisfy his lungs. His mind couldn’t focus. Alex German was having an anxiety attack.

“I didn’t even know what it was,” German said. “You feel crappy about yourself and think, ‘Why can’t I stop this?’”

German had been dealing with anxiety attacks since middle school, but it was not until last summer that the junior discovered what they were.

German was visiting his girlfriend’s family when he experienced flu-like symptoms. But his girlfriend’s mother knew it wasn’t just a stomach bug. “She had the same struggles and the same

symptoms,” he said. “She walked me right through it.”

Initially, German didn’t want a psychologist to “get inside his head,” but he soon changed his mind. “Once I hit the end of my rope, I had to suck it up and get help,” he said.

German had a positive experience at the University of Minnesota’s Boynton Health Service, and hasn’t had any anxiety attacks since going on medication in July. “Every now and then I feel [anxious] … but the meds allow me to deal with [my anxiety] without it getting out of control,” he said.

“I didn’t know what normal felt like,” he said. Now, the kinesiology major is using his newfound energy to pursue a career in nursing.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

13

Do the media distort epidemics?

“Have you checked with a doctor to see what shots are mandatory yet?” Jen Chapman, 30, asked. She held up a doctor’s note to her laptop’s camera and started to list off vaccines, some she wasn’t sure how to pronounce.

Chapman had called her best friend, Hannah Goosens, 24, from Arizona to talk about their summer travel plans to Tanzania. Their faces lit up as soon as their Skype call connected. Goossens, 1,500 miles away in Minnesota, had a pile of travel plans across her parents’ dining room 14

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

table and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (C.D.C.) Tanzania travelers’ information page open on her computer.

The two women, who met a few years prior while teaching English in South Korea, discussed different volunteer programs to sign up for and landmarks to visit before they landed on the issue of health and safety.

Neither of them were concerned about Africa’s most recent epidemic—Ebola.

In September 2014 the World Health Orga-

ILLUSTRATION: LAUREN COOPER

By Jenny Handke

nization (W.H.O.) declared the Ebola virus an international epidemic. The disease has killed more than 5,239 West Africans since March 21, 2015, according to W.H.O. Throughout the epidemic, America’s news media tended to focus more on efforts to contain it at home, like tightening up airport security and declining Nigerian college applicants, than on the epidemic in West Africa.

“We chose Tanzania because it’s on the Eastern coast, so it’s a good distance from Ebola,” Goossens said. “My dad was kind of freaking out about it. And my little sister is going to France on her senior trip this year and I’m like, really?“ France is actually closer to West Africa than Tanzania.

Goossens, a psychology graduate from the College of Saint Benedict, knows her risk of contracting Ebola during her stay in Africa is low. She’s more concerned about threats to her safety, which her dad, an ex-Navy engineer, appreciates. But she admitted she paid little attention to the media when Ebola stories were constantly circulating in newspapers and on news broadcasts.

Goossens was not worried about Ebola threatening her health when it became an international problem last year.

But there was a discrepancy between Americans who perceived the infectious disease as a threat to be worried about in the States and those who considered it an epidemic far away from our concern.

MEDIA’S ROLE In general, the media’s role is to inform the public about what’s going on in the world, said Chelsea Reynolds, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Minnesota’s School of Journalism & Mass Communication (S.J.M.C.). To take it one step further, the “gatekeepers,” or editors in mass media, determine what’s newsworthy. But is that really the case in American media?

Marco Yzer, an associate health communications professor at S.J.M.C., discusses these very ideas in his classes and research. Most of his work is on health behavior as a function of interpersonal communication.

Yzer said any information or event is newsworthy when it has two things: Novelty for an audience and whether it’s personal. This is why, for example, the first stories about Thomas Eric Duncan’s Ebola diagnosis received more national coverage than stories about Catalonia calling for a secession vote on the same day in September. An Ebola-infected human in the U.S. was unprecedented, which crushed the chances of any other event surpassing Ebola’s coverage.

Typically when American media or news organizations report on evolving public health issues, like an infectious disease outbreak, the first information that reaches the public is how risky and severe of a threat it poses. Yzer’s health communication research suggests that perceived risk coupled with perceived severity leads to fear.

This set of assumptions, that newsworthy events are both novel and personal, and that the perception of risk and severity lead to fear, can help explain why the information climate last fall created a state of mass hysteria over Ebola.

“There is nothing as threatening as someone threatening your very sense of existence,” Yzer said. “That is important because it explains when something like news information threatens a central aspect of myself, my first survival mechanism is to maintain that sense of self.

So what is the best way of doing that? If it’s news, change the channel and I can choose not to be exposed to it or interrogate the source.”

WHEN DISEASE STRIKES The scope of the media’s role in informing Americans about infectious diseas-

es varies, but there is a strong pattern of fear in reporting, especially concerning the most recent Ebola epidemic in West Africa. Consider the diversity of outlets: Whether it’s newspapers, magazines, online articles, TV news, radio, and even other types of broadcasts like podcasts and nightly comedy talk shows, every medium that tells a story about infectious disease epidemics has a different narrative.

American doctors who were quarantined and infected with Ebola during the crisis were quick to point out that the collective media instilled more fear in Americans than it did quell them last fall. Dr. Craig Spencer, who was diagnosed with Ebola in New York after visiting Guinea with Doctors Without Borders, expressed his frustration with the media’s reaction to his diagnosis in an article he wrote for The New England Journal of Medicine.

“After my diagnosis, the media and politicians could have educated the public about Ebola,” Spencer wrote in the article. “Instead, they spent hours retracing my steps through New York and debating whether Ebola can be transmitted through a bowling ball.”

When the C.D.C. made its first announcements about Ebola in the U.S., some media professionals were skeptical about its response tactics. The epidemic was evolving and so was the C.D.C.’s plan to deal with it.

Some say it is challenging for the media to maintain accurate and responsible reporting about epidemics like Ebola when international health nongovernmental organizations (N.G.O.s) don’t have the full story themselves.

Reynolds argued that it’s important to understand why Ebola was so prevalent in West Africa. Reynolds said theunstable cultural climate between the region’s citizens and their governments, coupled with the lack of appropriate AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

15

16

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

does it generally take a more dramatic approach in the name of clicks, likes, and shares?

Unlike healthcare and communications professionals, Goossens didn’t exactly seek out information about Ebola during its peak coverage in America. But she also wasn’t oblivious.

“I chose Tanzania because it’s removed from West Africa,” she said.

“Also because it’s generally safer.”

perceive a threat, so she wasn’t scared.

Michael Osterholm, the Chair of Public Health at the University of Minnesota and director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, argued Ebola could likely become an airborne respiratory virus, and public health officials and the media should start talking about it as such. His opinion article for The New York Times, “What We’re Afraid to Say About Ebola,” spurred debate

“Despite the large number of fearful reports on infectious diseases, how many people are actually afraid?”

When asked about her biggest concern traveling to Africa, it wasn’t about getting sick with Ebola. It was finding a program to volunteer for and staying safe.

Some journalists say the majority of the fear surrounding Ebola in the United States was unwarranted, considering the average American’s risk to the virus. Goossens recognized her risk as an American, considered how people contract the disease, and compared American health infrastructure to the lack thereof in West Africa. She didn’t

in biosecurity and virologist communities, but Osterholm strongly stood behind his story. An article he and 20 other notable scientists in Ebola published in the American Society for Microbiology Journals shortly after his Times article prompted some American media to seriously consider the possibility.

ALTERNATIVE APPROACHES As stories about Ebola waned in late 2014, counter arguments about how the American media handled the outbreak started to surface. Some notable journalists tried to minimize the focus on fear and shift it to what some may call a cry for reason in understanding the real threats of infectious diseases.

Teju Cole, an award-winning Nigerian-American writer, made waves with his satirical essay, “Ebola: What It Is,” which essentially poked fun at the stories that made Ebola out to be the devil’s spawn.

“Look, I’m not the politically correct type, so I’m just going to put this out there,” Cole wrote in his piece for The New Yorker. “Ebola is the neo-Nazism of niggling knee injuries. The kind of threat it poses to the American way of life essentially makes it the North Korea of peanut allergies.”

PHOTOS: MARCUS CARRIGAN

health infrastructure in West African countries is a fatal combination. She said the hype over the disease magnified when the C.D.C. and National Institutes of Health were still planning how to fix the problem.

“In my opinion, I think the journalists are ombudsmen, which means that journalists work in the public interest,” Reynolds said. “We’re trying to dispel fear; we’re trying to dispel misinformation.

But when the top down information isn’t clear, then you can’t report correctly.”

However, Reynolds said the discourse changed when the C.D.C. and other international health institutions became more confident in their capability to contain the outbreak. This is why, for example, Doctors Without Borders’ Kaci Hickox resisted quarantine upon her return from Sierra Leone.

As a result, American journalists reported on the fear surrounding the disease in communities where health officials perceived Ebola was a relevant threat.

But despite the large number of fearful reports on infectious diseases, how many people are actually afraid? And is the media an accurate representation of its reports on health epidemics, or

One project is making strides in attempting to minimize global miscommunication during mass infectious disease epidemics.

T.E.L.L. M.E. is a project funded by a grant from the European Union. The global collaboration project exists to present a new framework model of health and risk information during an infectious disease outbreak. Its goal is to better equip public authorities and stakeholders for infectious disease outbreaks in the future. The model proposes social media as one of the driving forces in developed nations that can dispel misconceptions and give clear, straightforward information on risk and prevention.

As for countries with very little to no health infrastructure, researchers said direct intrapersonal communication is

the most efficient way to inform civilians about an epidemic, specifically from trusted community members.

One of the most telling points of the T.E.L.L. M.E. project is how it exposes American media’s tendency to focus on news trends, which can distort the reality of infectious disease information to the public.

As for Goossens and Chapman, their main concerns are much less about getting sick than they are about safely making meaningful memories in Tanzania.

Goossens and Chapman Skype about their travel plans to Tanzania this summer Left page: Goossens searches for medical information on her phone while talking to Chapman

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

17

How to keep calm and carry on

By Evan Lemmerman OUR FEARS CONTROL US. They bring us to our knees. They hold us back and cause us pain.

But fear is an unavoidable part of life we have to learn to manage. The key is to find ways to manage fear so it doesn’t keep you from experiencing life. Here are some tips to help you get started from the University of Minnesota’s Boynton Mental Health Services, the University of Minnesota Center for Spirituality and Healing, the National Health Service, and Psychology Today.

Don’t be disappointed with yourself for being afraid. Fear is normal and you haven’t done anything wrong. Dr. Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion, said to treat yourself as you would treat a close friend dealing with a similar problem.

Don’t be upset. Be confident and forgiving, and learn from this experience.

Realize that right now you are mostly fine

Pause and give yourself some perspective. Are you in pain? Has something truly terrible happened?

Can you still function? Odds are, right now you are mostly all right. You have nothing of which to be afraid. Of course, sometimes you should be afraid.

It happens, but as soon as you can, brave the storm and realize it won’t last forever. Save the worrying for when you need to worry. Be present, because in the present, you are probably all right.

Breathe

Breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and breathe out slowly for four seconds. Do this whenever you feel overwhelmed for as long as feels right. Just pause and breathe. Even one or two breaths can make a difference and clear your mind.

18

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

Try meditating

Meditation is not about separating yourself from the world; it’s about taking time to focus on the present.

You don’t need to sit cross-legged on the floor or chant and light incense. Just get into a relaxing position, close your eyes, breathe, and become aware of your mind and body. Focus on the present. After being diagnosed with stage four cancer, author Alex Niles found solace in meditation. He imagined peaceful settings like the wind blowing through the trees in a forest.

His meditation helped separate the fear from his mind, and allowed him to tackle his fear with a clearer head.

Take care of yourself

You spend 100 percent of your time within your body, so you should take care of it. Eat well, drink lots of water, exercise regularly, and try to sleep about sevento-nine hours each night. Physical activity boosts dopamine in our brain, a chemical that improves mood, sharpens our minds, benefits our bodies, and helps us fight our fears. We often neglect these things because they seem hard or take too much time, but our body and mind can’t perform well if they don’t have anything to fuel them. Leo Babauta, creator of zenhabits.com, said his decision to take better care of his body motivated him and prepared him to challenge his other fears.

ILLUSTRATIONS: ERIN BANKSON

Be self-compassionate

Be social

Spend time with supportive friends and family. Being with people makes us feel better, and it’s always easiest to fight off fear when feeling happy and confident.

Make a list of things you love to do

It sounds simple, but so often we neglect to make time for the things that bring us joy because we do not view them as important. We are afraid of falling behind in our other duties. Still, we need to devote time to the activities we love. They relax our minds and help distance us from our fears. We often find answers to our fears when distancing ourselves from them. Don’t ignore what you love to do.

Face your fears now

If you want to overcome a fear, face it head on. Start as soon as you possibly can. Even small steps forward are steps in the right direction. The sooner you make a change, the sooner you will begin to heal. In her book, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life, Eleanor Roosevelt wrote, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

Talk it out

If you find yourself constantly overwhelmed by fear despite your best efforts to overcome it, you may want to consider consulting a therapist, or even a supportive family member or friend. Talking with someone is a good way to better focus on what is upsetting when you are wrestling with many different thoughts at once.

Ask yourself, “What’s really the worst that could happen?”

We often let our minds create terrible answers to this question. We irrationally convince ourselves that the world will end or we will forever be a failure if something does not go the way we want it to go. But usually, our fears are much more exaggerated than reality. Be realistic about what will happen if something doesn’t work out. You’ll likely be able to bounce back.

Create a character

Reframing your fears can be particularly powerful. Try imagining your fear as a character, like a little monster hiding inside of your body. Think about how it looks and how it affects your body and mind to make you feel bad.

Think of what you do that fuels it. Then, try to figure out what you can do that will make it go away. Remember that the fear isn’t part of you.

It’s an unwelcome visitor.

Have courage

Courage is not the absence of fear, but taking action despite fear. We need to accept that we will never reach a state where we no longer feel afraid. Every day we overcome fears and develop new ones. Fear is just part of life.

There is no universal, permanent solution. We need to manage our fears, because when we allow our fears to take us over, we suffer.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

19

By Brianna Vitands MY SUNDAY MORNING started off normally enough.

I pinned up my hair, changed into one of my many knee-length Ann Taylor pencil skirts, and buttoned a modest business-professional shirt.

My mother knocked on my bathroom door, and when I opened it to see her red, tear-soaked face, I knew we wouldn’t be going to church that morning.

A few hours later, my family gathered around my grandparents’ kitchen table, struggling to write the obituary for a woman we hadn’t known in decades.

20

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

What did we know about my aunt Lisa? She struggled with addiction.

Like me, she was born and raised a Jehovah’s Witness, but she was disfellowshipped at the age of 18. Members who commit serious sin, and are thus disfellowshipped, are also cut off from friends and family. So we didn’t know much about Lisa, except that now she was lying in a casket.

My uncle was also disfellowshipped, and although the congregation largely ignored him when he attended Lisa’s ceremony, I made it a point to speak

PHOTO: COUNSELMAN COLLECTION, FLICKR CC BY-SA 2.0

Why I stopped being a Jehovah’s Witness

with him. I quickly remembered what a kind and intelligent person he was as we spoke, so I got his phone number.

I wouldn’t shun him like the rest of my family had.

That evening, one of my relatives asked if I planned to go to college, and I replied that I was hoping to attend the University of Minnesota. But my mom reminded me on the way home that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not encourage college education. She said I wouldn’t be going to college.

My mother’s remark, combined with the shunning of my uncle, made me feel like a hostage. I was only 16 at the time, but I realized my life was something I couldn’t compromise. I made up my mind to leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Going through with letting go of the teachings I had been raised with was far more difficult than making the decision to leave. I was afraid. Afraid of losing my friends, my family, and myself. But I was mostly afraid of disappointing my mom, who had raised me by herself for the majority of my life. I was afraid of hurting her the most.

I had been taught all my life that the world was evil and would be destroyed in the imminent future. From what I could see, though, people outside the church weren’t so bad.

Jehovah’s Witnesses believe salvation can only be found through affiliation with the church. A disfellowshipped person is subject to death at Armageddon, which is the destruction of the world.

Armageddon will also destroy anyone who isn’t baptized as a Jehovah’s Witness. People of the faith are taught that if they change affiliations, they’ll lose everlasting life, along with their friends and family. The other option is to submit and change their actions or beliefs.

Initially, the fear of dying in Armageddon convinced me to keep one foot in the church while the other was out. But

with time I realized I was a good person worthy of whatever future I chose. If there was a God, and he decided otherwise, I would gladly stand up for my actions.

Soon it was announced that I was no longer a Jehovah’s Witness. My family could still talk to me since I had never been baptized, but I was not considered a “good associate” of the church. After three months of emotional turmoil, I finished my junior year of high school, turned 17, and loaded my car with all my belongings to move 200 miles south and live with my dad.

A RECURRING NARRATIVE My story, while uncommon, is not unique.

Many young people grow up in religious organizations that use practices like disfellowshipping to control the actions and thoughts of their members. People fear death and uncertainty, and wanting to ease this fear is natural. But a life based on fear can wreak havoc on the mind.

Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that the end of the world is approaching and that survival is only possible by following God’s chosen organization. Calling themselves “the truth,” they make up less than 1 percent of the American religious landscape, according to a 2008 study by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life. The same study found that Jehovah’s Witnesses have the lowest retention rate of any of the surveyed religions. Only 37 percent of those raised in the religion identify as active members, and two-thirds of followers converted from other faiths, predominantly from Protestantism and Catholicism.

Disfellowshipping, a process accepted among Jehovah’s Witnesses, is based on passages from the New Testament, and its primary purpose is to keep the congregation pure and reflective of Jehovah’s holy nature. Members who have allegedly committed an act against biblical standards are subject to a judicial

committee meeting where elders in the congregation decide whether the member is guilty of serious sin.

Mormons, or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, use similar techniques to retain members.

Six noteworthy Mormon scholars were excommunicated from the church in 1993 to discourage dissent and research regarding the church’s past, particularly its treatment of women and alleged inaccuracies in the Book of Mormon, according to The New York Times. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has roughly 15 million members worldwide, comparable to the 8 million-wide group of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Scientologists also have a similar practice, known as being disconnected.

If you’re raised a Jehovah’s Witness, membership in the church is implicit.

Still, Jehovah’s Witnesses allow members to choose baptism, or dedication to God, later in life. When considering baptism, one of the questions a prospective member of the Jehovah’s Witnesses must answer is, “Are you being coerced into this decision?” The majority of prospective baptism candidates would likely agree it is voluntary. However, publications encourage youth to pursue baptism, because everyone is considered accountable to God. For any good Jehovah’s Witness adolescent, baptism is the norm.

“It was a voluntary thing,” said Cyndie Wells, an active Jehovah’s Witness who was baptized around the age of 13.

“When a person is actually disfellowshipped, it’s because they are completely unrepentant. They don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, which is their right.

They’ve basically decided they don’t want to live Jehovah’s way anymore, so the congregation [recognizes] that person’s decision for the sake of protecting others in the congregation and really keeping Jehovah’s name clean.”

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

21

CONSEQUENCES OF SHUNNING While the doctrine of disfellowshipping intends to bring unrepentant people to their faith, it often causes pain and suffering on both sides. For the shunned in-

dividual, it may seem like mental torture.

The United Nations Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhumane or Degrading Treatment or Punishment of 1984 defined mental torture as punishable under international law. Although the psychological torture is not carried out by states, in some cases intentional emotional distress is inflicted.

“Often the most consequential and long-lasting effects of torture is the mental abuse,” said Barbara Frey, director of the Human Rights Program at the University of Minnesota. “There are certain behaviors that society accepts based on people’s religious points of view that they wouldn’t accept in other cases.”

View of the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ headquarters in Brooklyn, NY

22

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

Dan Buck, a grassroots organizer for NARAL Pro-Choice Minnesota, knows all too well the consequences of disfellowshipping. Buck was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and baptized when he was about 15 years old. He studied with an elder, or congregation leader, whom he respected. Eventually, Buck was baptized, although he said his mother coerced him into the decision. Later, Buck moved hundreds of miles away to Kansas in order to escape his family’s influence.

“There was this fear of losing control of the flock, the congregation,” he said.

“So there were always those controls in place: Threats of disfellowshipping, threats of shunning.”

PHOTO: SERGIO HERRERA, FLICKR CC BY-SA 2.0

“Nobody is disfellowshipped for fornication, or theft, or whatever. They’re disfellowshipped for lack of repentance,” her husband Maurie Wells added. The two have been married for nearly 50 years, and they attribute their success and happiness to the principles provided by their faith. They served together in the traveling ministry for 25 of their years together. They are pleasant, sincere people.

Buck successfully evaded disfellowshipping until his mother found out he was a pro-choice activist. She hasn’t spoken to him in five years.

Buck’s experience is common. Even former elders have questioned the religion’s teachings and have consequently been disfellowshipped.

For example, Michael Bigelow was raised a devout Jehovah’s Witness and served as an elder in China from 1991 to 2009. He was baptized in 1974, which was a turbulent time for Jehovah’s Witnesses. Some thought Armageddon would come in 1975.

This fear played a role in Bigelow’s decision to get baptized. “It was a worrying time, because as a kid you believe it,” he said. “You believe that fire and brimstone could start falling on you potentially.”

As a recreational mountaineer, Bigelow said evidence in the fossil record, carbon dating, and ice core drilling conflicts with the teachings of Jehovah’s Witnesses. In 2012, he wrote two letters to elders in his congregation to inform them that he no longer considered himself a Jehovah’s Witness.

“I haven’t spoken to either one of my kids, and it’s been two and a half years,” he said. “I write to them to keep the door open, but they don’t respond.” His parents have cut off contact, too. “I kind of expect that the next time I see one of my parents will be when I go to the funeral of the other parent.”

Jehovah’s Witness youth are not the only ones who have struggled with fear about their beliefs. University of Minnesota student Kellen Parkinson was raised as a Mormon in Utah, where he was encouraged to go to the church-funded Brigham Young University (B.Y.U.).

But when he was 15, he wrote a letter to his parents explaining that he no longer wanted to be a part of the church.

“I just started… looking around and studying other spiritualities and

philosophies, and as I started to dabble around, I quickly got the impression that no one in the church was really okay with that,” Parkinson said. “I think that out of principle you should always be free to investigate and look around in the world. It doesn’t hurt to see and experience things.”

His decision to leave was not an easy one. Leaving the church after learning its doctrines is considered taboo. Afterward, his relationship with his parents suffered for two years. While his parents are not pleased, they support his choice to get a college education at an institution that isn’t B.Y.U. ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS Individuals raised in high-control groups such as Jehovah’s Witnesses cope with leaving in various ways. Many find peace. “It’s like I’ve started the second half of my life, but it’s the life that’s based in reality,” Bigelow said.

For others, being disfellowshipped is a wake-up call. Jude, a single mother who requested we use only her first name, became a Jehovah’s Witness when she was 31 years old. After becoming exhausted from raising her two daughters alone, she tried to repair a broken relationship with the father of one of her daughters. When members of the congregation saw her holding hands with him one night, they reported it to the elders because he wasn’t a Jehovah’s Witness. Jude then admitted she had started smoking again and was living a “double life.” However, she was unrepentant and tried to make things work her own way, with the hope she could give her girls the family she never had growing up.

“One of the brothers said ‘I’ll tell you that it’s easier to deal with what you’ve got going on and stay, than it is to leave and come back,’” Jude recalls. “He said, ‘So ten days from now, we want to meet

with you again—and stop smoking. We will deal with everything else that’s going on, we’ll be right there.’ By that time I had my mind made up. I was like, I’m gonna try this, I’m gonna do it.”

She was disfellowshipped for ten years. “Ten of the hardest years I’ve ever spent in my entire life,” Jude said.

After she realized she didn’t fit in with “the world,” Jude quit smoking and returned to the congregation. She feels the disfellowshipping was absolutely justified.

“You have the opportunity not to, the brothers will bend over backwards to help you stay. But people who get disfellowshipped, they’re unrepentant, and that’s what I was,” Jude said.

The ending is not the same for everyone, and although people are free to come back at any time, some people just don’t believe it anymore, and are left without their family.

My first two years on my own were harrowing. Confrontations with my parents were continuous. I cycled through a number of therapists and antidepressants before realizing that my relationship with my family was permanently impaired. That was still better than living in a world which I didn’t believe to be true.

The last few years outside of the congregation have been the happiest of my life. Things are slowly improving with my mom, but I don’t believe our relationship will ever be like it was before. As I write this, I am still afraid. I’m afraid that my family is going to read this. I know they will never understand, and I’m afraid our relationship will never get better. I’m afraid they will call me an apostate. I’m afraid I’ll be cut off further. I’m afraid that I will hurt them even more.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

23

Is college worth the price tag?

“I THINK EDUCATION should be completely free,” Marcus Carrigan, a senior at the University of Minnesota, said. “I think we have a huge issue. I don’t see how it’s going to be a sustainable model to continue to increase charges for students for education and then have a bunch of people who are crippled with debt not be able to spend money in our economy.”

24

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

Upon graduation, college students should be proud of themselves. Holding that diploma is a huge accomplishment. But why does it feel like landing a decent job requires students to start their own business or solve world hunger? Why does it feel like graduating actually marks the beginning of a treacherous flood of financial distress?

Do we need to work harder, or does society need to lower its expectations of us?

ILLUSTRATION: ERIN BANKSON

By Valory Schoenecker

Amber Schwab, a senior advertising student at the University of Minnesota, faces the same challenges as thousands of students in Minnesota who graduate from four-year programs with an average debt of $27,300, according to a report from the Minnesota Office of Higher Education.

“It’s scary trying to find a job. I’m graduating in May and still don’t know where I’m going to work,” Schwab said.

“Since I’m graduating with debt, I want to be able to financially support myself so I can start paying that off.”

Schwab is not alone.

Full-time undergraduate students in Minnesota had an average of $7,379 in loans for the 2012-2013 school year and, like Schwab, are expected to start paying off these loans a few months after graduation, according to the report.

This burden is higher for Minnesota students than most in other states. Minnesota is ranked as the fifth highest state for student debt in the nation, with 70 percent of graduates having some sort of debt, according to national data collected by the Institute for College Access and Success.

“It just takes longer for young people to move into financial independence than it did for their parents and certainly for their grandparents. I think young people should recognize that this is a changed economy and there are different educational demands of this economy than there were in the past,” said Teresa Swartz, associate professor of sociology at the University of Minnesota. “I think it’s just a new reality.”

And in this changed economy, debt seems to be part of the deal, especially in Minnesota.

Since tuition and fees for Minnesota postsecondary schools are higher than the national average, first year students at Minnesota institutions are in some instances obliged to take out loans right

away, ranging from $5,865 to $10,370, as reported for the 2012-2013 school year.

“It’s good for our economy if people are educated. It’s good for our society,” Swartz said. But there are inequalities.

Not everybody can afford to go to college without accumulating debt and not everybody has a family that can afford to support part of their tuition, Swartz said.

“So we don’t want to saddle our young people with too much debt, even if its worth the risk.”

But these first-year loans are only the beginning of a student’s debt load.

Because the average cost of tuition and fees for public, four-year institutions in Minnesota ($9,826) is $2,052 more than the national average, students often leave college with more debt than they can pay back, according to the Minnesota Office of Higher Education.

These numbers are based on the total cost of tuition and fees without factoring in financial aid. Many students don’t end up paying the “sticker” price of a college’s posted tuition and fees

unsubsidized loan for a smaller portion, and his parents took out a parent loan to help out.

Still, there are other opportunities for students to pay for tuition. Workstudy programs, for example, allow students to work a job where their hourly wage goes straight toward paying off their tuition. The institution usually pays for these programs although nonprofit agencies and other employers may sometimes fund them.

With the rising cost of tuition and the increase in student debt load, students need to prepare for their debt upon graduation. But how are institutions preparing students for that debt load?

For Mindy Deardurff, the director of the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management (C.S.O.M.), the first thing students should consider when choosing a school is its value. Do its tuition dollars go to supporting career services? Does the school have a strong alumni network that continually recruits from that specific pool of graduates?

“Minnesota is ranked as the fifth highest state for student debt in the nation, with 70 percent of graduates having some sort of debt.” because of grants and scholarships that don’t need to be repaid and through loans that do need to be repaid.

At the University of Minnesota for example, 80 percent of first-year students receive some sort of financial aid, which totaled $69 million in 2012-2013. These include grants, scholarships, and loans, according to a student financial aid survey conducted by the U.S. Department of Education.

For Carrigan, loans are a large source of payment for his tuition, but he also works several jobs to help offset the cost.

He is using a large subsidized loan from the University for most of his tuition, an

Luckily for students graduating now, there are more job opportunities than there were even four years ago. Students have the flexibility to consider positions that will be a good fit for them both culturally and personally.

“We’re seeing students come in with choices—multiple offers on the table.

They really get to choose,” Deardurff said. “Whereas I think five years ago when the market was low, students felt like they just needed to take whatever they could get.”

Currently, C.S.O.M. has a 94 percent placement rate, the highest in years.

This rate includes graduates starting AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

25

their own business, going into the military, and furthering their education in graduate school. At the lowest point of the recession, C.S.O.M.’s placement rate dropped to 84 percent, still higher than many competing business schools at the time.

“We’re a professional school, much like a law school or a dentist school where most of our majors align directly with a career path,” Deardurff said.

Still, C.S.O.M. students pay $2,000 more per year on tuition than other students at the University of Minnesota. Their student services fee is also the highest on campus. However, Deardurff said the student services fee pays for career services like interview rooms and career coaches that help students make connections with corporations that could potentially hire them.

But for Minnesota students who pur-

sue non-business majors, there is still a unique opportunity for entering the job market. Deardurff said that the Twin Cities is home to a diverse array of industries.

“Minneapolis is awesome because we’ve got everything. We’ve got consumer products, public accounting firms; we’ve got health care; we have a really strong robust non-profit community, so it’s nice because when the market dips, we don’t have to feel the hit to our

Fall 2013 Minnesota graduate students

26

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

PHOTO: MARCUS CARRIGAN

Debt owed by Minnesota students

“It just takes longer for young people to move into financial independence than it did for their parents and certainly for their grandparents.”

employment numbers like some of our other counterparts,” Deardurff said.

And that goes for all students in Minnesota. Of the students who graduated in 2012 with undergraduate degrees, 75 percent were employed within two years of graduation, and 3 percent continued their education, according to the report. The annual median wage was $30,825 for full-time employees in their second year after graduation and $46,064 in their fourth year after graduation.

In 2013, 44 percent of first-time, fulltime undergraduate students in Minnesota graduated within four years and 63 percent graduated within six years, compared to the national rate at 39 percent and 59 percent, as reported by the Minnesota Office of Higher Education.

Carrigan said that no matter what major he pursues or the amount of money he makes in the future, accumulating college debt is inevitable for him. Instead of choosing his major based on a career that provides financial security, like law or medicine, he chose to pursue journalism because it was something he was truly passionate about.

“I was just trying to find something that I was passionate about, that I en-

joyed going to the classes, that I felt like I was getting technical skills,” Carrigan said. “I knew I was going to end up in education of some sort and I’ve never thought I was gonna be rich someday.”

Carrigan plans to attend graduate school at the University of San Diego this fall to pursue higher education leadership. Despite his debt load being higher than the national average for undergraduates, Carrigan isn’t too worried about paying it off.

“I’m a huge believer in conversation, and just talking about things, being open and honest and not trying to carry the burden alone,” he said. “I think that we have an opportunity for a network here at the University of Minnesota. And I think that there’s a privilege that comes with that—just being willing to talk about what resources are at our fingertips.”

Despite the rising cost of tuition and the debt load many students will incur, it is important to realize that no one has to face the financial burden alone.

Millennials are the pioneers of this educational debt and we will continue to make amends. There is hope for us and for future generations. A college degree is still worth it, even financially.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

27

By Evan Lemmerman and Marcus Carrigan We are constantly bombarded with messages trying to protect us from potential threats and our worst nightmares. As more and more of our surroundings are covered in words of warning, we must ask: is there more to fear, or are we just more fearful?

28

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

29

In Society /

Struggling with the identity binary

By Andy Gutierrez

“I THINK YOU should get counseling because your bitch of a mother turned you off to women.”

Those were the words that 22-yearold Connor Wright recalls hearing when discussing his sexuality with his father.

Wright, a political science senior at the University of Minnesota, remembers being one of five gay-identified males at West Fargo High School.

But as we know from popular culture, Wright isn’t alone—it is estimated that 9 million Americans identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (L.G.B.T.), according to the Williams Institute at the University of California,

Los Angeles, School of Law. For Wright, identifying as gay was thrust upon him from a young age, regardless of whether he was ready to embrace society’s marking.

At 13, when a girl he thought he liked asked if he was gay, Wright didn’t know what to think. It was then that he became aware his fears were rooted in fitting within normative societal roles.

“I confirmed something that I didn’t even feel comfortable taking on as an identity,” Wright said. “I was scared, I didn’t know what it all meant, but you knew coming out had deeper ramifications.”

Wright joining his mother and her friends at an “old lady party”

30

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

And, although Wright kissed boys in the earliest days of his education and had a natural inclination toward dressing up and wearing his mother’s heels at a young age, he knew others wouldn’t take his exploration lightly.

“Femininity became very taboo and forbidden,” Wright said, “It was something that almost tainted me.”

As hard as growing up gay in North Dakota was, Wright lived in a particularly conservative time when the state had passed a constitutional law banning gay marriage.

Through his parents divorce and a few moves, Wright still remembers his main fear growing up: Not fitting into a category.

“It took me several years to say to myself I was gay,” Wright said. “It’s all or nothing and that’s the big issue. If I don’t fit into a category, then I’m in-between and I don’t know where I am.”

While the idea of altering identities may seem fairly new to millennials, it’s not new to many scholars, including Anna Clark, a history professor at the

Wright defying the masculine ideals of his North Dakota hometown

PHOTOS: COURTESY OF CONNOR WRIGHT

Let Me Be Me

PHOTO: COURTESY OF KORRINA GRIFFITH

/ In Society

University. Clark refers to a cult of people in ancient Rome who worshipped the mother goddess and were known for the plasticity of their identity.

“There were priests who castrated themselves called the Galli,” Clark said.

“They were seen to have magical powers, but there were also a lot of cultures where there was a third gender in-between male and female.”

In present day, however, Clark sees American culture as one that likes to relentlessly classify in order to understand and accept others.

“Someone who isn’t quite male or female makes people uncomfortable because they don’t know how to categorize them,” Clark said. “They might also be afraid that they might be tempted to be more masculine or feminine and be afraid of their own attraction.”

It is this same uncomfortability that makes Korrina Griffith, a psychology and gender, women, and sexuality studies major at the University, weary of Griffith’s surroundings.

For Griffith, gender and identity have been significant subjects that continue to mark their path. As a self-identified pansexual, panromantic, and gender fluid person, Griffith remembers the unfamiliarity that others experienced and continue to experience when hearing about an identity like theirs.

“I always got the stereotypical ‘choose a side’ that people reminded me of,” Griffith said. “Even when I tried coming out to my mom, she was like, ‘you’ll probably get through it someday.’”

Although it has been many years since Griffith struggled with bisexuality, it’s been particularly difficult to fit into a category since Griffith’s realization that there was more than the stereotypical binary imposed on by society.

“Sometimes I identify as a woman, but it’s usually some mixture for me,” Griffith said. “Some days it could just

be neither, and I try to look as most non-gendered as possible.”

Griffith said that despite the way their body looks, what bothers them most about society is the insults and repercussions that come with the way others read their identity.

“My biggest fear is someone really insulting or trying to mentally hurt me in some way,” Griffith said. “If they know I

“It takes a lot more than recognizing identity,” Wright said. “I don’t have to deal with racism, classism, fat-phobia, and disability issues.”

Griffith, however, points out the violent repercussions that not conforming to societal norms can bring.

“It’s more of the cat calls and refusing to reply to them,” Griffith said.

“Those things have been leading to

“It’s all or nothing and that’s the big issue.

If I don’t fit into a category, then I’m in-between and I don’t know where I am.” have a certain non-binary identity and they just intentionally misgender me, that’s a very real fear in the back of my head.”

Despite their fears, Wright and Griffith said that many other factors tie into the marginalization of others.

Wright, for example, sees his privilege as a middle-class white male as an advantage that other non-conforming people don’t have.

murder, too, and are extreme thoughts in my head sometimes.”

But silence has been broken and change may be closer than we think, according to Clark, who has been at the forefront of the L.G.B.T. movement in her own life.

Since coming out when she was a professor in North Carolina, Clark married her partner.

“By coming out you make a huge difference for everybody else,” Clark said. “I never would’ve predicted that we would have gay marriage and somehow the momentum got going, so you never know what could happen next.”

As unavoidable as oppression may now seem, Wright said that being aware of privilege and oppression are the first steps toward stopping systematic oppression.

“It takes a lot more than recognizing identity...it takes a commitment of recognizing all of the systems that interact with the individual,” Wright said.

“We need to be tender with ourselves and others, and ultimately we need to recognize that and fight against it if we want to move forward.”

Griffith poses for a selfie AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

31

In Society /

Surveillance in the Nursery When monitoring babysitters, parents teeter between trust and paranoia

MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY, Adam Palen and his wife entrust their home and 2-year-old twins to a nanny. They’ve employed the same one since the kids were five months old, and Palen said their relationship, “could not have been any better.”

Consequently, they’ve never seen a need to install a nanny cam—a camera used to monitor childcare providers in private homes. “How would you feel if you were being watched via 32

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

video every single day and judged on maybe one experience, or a 15-second clip or scene?”

And yet, in isolated cases nanny cams have captured every parent’s worst fears on tape. A Staten Island nanny smacked a baby girl for not eating. On the west coast, a California nanny repeatedly shook and held down 1-year-old twins. Nanny cams brought these horrific acts to light. In part, they satisfy a yearning to record every

threat, which has pushed widespread surveillance closer to the norm. But at what point do reasonable precautions cross into paranoid parenting?

Nanny cams range from cameras concealed in stuffed toys to more functional webcams. BrickHouse Security, a company that sells security and surveillance products, stocks nanny cams that resemble everything from alarm clocks to coffee makers, company creative director Marc Horowitz said. “We

ILLUSTRATIONS: BRECK HICKMAN

By Parker Lemke

/ In Society

market them to parents as a way to protect their children when they can’t be around,” he said. “We have people who tell us that our cameras saved their baby’s life.”

In an 2010 article in the University of California’s Davis School of Law’s Review, Seton Hall University School of Law professor Gaia Bernstein and Tel Aviv University professor Zvi Triger cited nanny cams as part of a larger trend towards more intensive parenting. They argued that the kind of helicopter parenting nanny cams represent can stilt a child’s independence. At the same time, their use invites comparisons to “Big Brother” societies, which stifle freedom in the name of security.

Generally, Horowitz said nanny cams are suited for children who range from infancy to roughly five years old. St. Anthony mom Nicole Endres has three boys who fall within this age bracket.

Rather than use a nanny or babysitter, she has sent them to home daycares and a Montessori school, and plans to have her sister-in-law watch them this coming summer. To her, nanny cams seem excessive.

“If I was the nanny, and I had a camera on me all day, I would be pretty offended,” Endres said. At the same time, she said she understands why a parent might use one to protect their children. “You want to have [your children’s] interests in mind at all times. I just think a nanny cam is overkill.”

In part, nanny cams have spread not only because of shocking headline stories of abuse, but also the declining price of the technology, Horowitz said.

Technology that would have set wary parents back $500 five years ago can be had for a fifth of that cost today.

And even as prices go down, nanny cams are also becoming easier to use.

“You can buy a nanny cam with an S.D. card, where you can come home at night

and check what happened during the day,” Horowitz said. “These are motion activated primarily, meaning they won’t record unless there’s motion in front of their lens.” Some are even designed to fit inside other objects. The small lens of one variety can be fitted to a pinhole inside a tissue box.

In her 15 years as a nanny, Stacie Barker, who works for the Minnesota domestic care provider Loving Care

“You want to have your children’s interests in mind at all times. I just think a nanny cam is overkill.”

Home Services, has never worked under a nanny cam’s supervision—at least to her knowledge. And yet, Barker said she wouldn’t mind if a client used one.

The footage could even help protect a nanny from being blamed for an accident, she said.

Problems would arise if a parent used the camera to nitpick excessively, she said. Not telling the nanny about hidden cameras would also raise concerns, effectively preventing a nanny from being able to choose their working conditions. “First of all, if you don’t trust your nanny, why did you hire them in the first place?” she said. “Second of all, it’s an invasion of privacy.”

Rather than turn to a nanny cam, Palen said he and his wife collect detailed daily logs from their nanny, listing information such as meal times and activities. As they grow, he said it becomes easier to judge their nanny’s performance based on how happy their children are when she arrives.

“Kids become a much better barometer for how well things are going in the home than us being able to see a 30-second clip on a video camera here or there,” he said.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

33

In Society /

Everyday Misogyny Life as a woman in a man’s world

By Sam Jasenosky

Now, before you write me off as a man-hating feminist, allow me to elaborate: I’m a 22-year-old woman who lives with five men between the ages of 21 and 23. We’re all undergraduate students at the University of Minnesota.

The living arrangement was the result of a combination of factors: My poor housing planning, the guys’ need for one additional roommate, and my minor (now dissipated) crush on the one guy I knew best. Since I began living with men, I’ve become painfully aware of how my gender puts me at a disadvantage that causes me to fear being limited, unheard, 34

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

unequal, and more severely, beaten, kidnapped, and raped.

A roommate who plays guitar and leaves his face shavings in the bathroom sink was the one who consumed the milk. This wasn’t the first time something of mine had been thoughtlessly used without consideration; nor was it the first time I felt like I was on mute in an apartment with five speakers on full blast. If any of the five men had bought that gallon of milk, I thought to myself, hell would be raised. Doors would be banged. Shouts would be exchanged.

Someone would be forced to run to the nearby convenience store to pay double the price Target charges.

The frustration I feel from being unheard because I’m a woman manifests itself into fear the moment I leave my apartment. If the men I call my roommates and friends don’t treat me with respect, how can I allow myself to believe men I’ve never met will? Considering my days often consist of unsettling worry when men I’ve never made eye contact with yell, “Hey beautiful!” at me from across the street or crime reports from my university telling of a sexual assault on campus in broad daylight, I find my head swirling with anxiety in anticipation of the next time I will be forced to exert what little authority I have left to keep myself safe.

ILLUSTRATIONS: OLIVIA NOVOTNY

ON AN AFTERNOON in February, I poured Cocoa Pebbles into a bowl.

When I opened the fridge to discover the gallon of milk I’d purchased fewer than two days before had less than a tablespoon of liquid left, I knew it was because of patriarchy.

/ In Society

The statistics supplement my justified paranoia. More than 30 percent of American women experience domestic abuse, and one in five women will experience rape at some point in their lives, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. The international scale of numbers painted an even more dismal outlook: The United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women found that more than half of women in the Congo experience abuse at the hands of their partners, while 61 percent of men in Papua New Guinea admitted during the U.N.’s Multi-Country Study on Men and Violence in Asia and the Pacific they’d committed “at least one rape.”

All of these atrocities are silently reinforced by society’s dismissal and quieting of women on a day-to-day basis. The National Bureau of Economic Research has shown that elementary school teachers unconsciously shoo girls away from the science, technology, engineering, and math (S.T.E.M.) field.

Public school policies focus on how girls can prevent distracting boys by not wearing revealing clothing instead of on how boys can prevent distraction by not sexualizing girls’ body parts. The recent national trend of American universities and colleges cracking down on sexual assaults neglects to highlight a narrative that gives women a true picture of the status of sexual assault on campuses.

Two studies in 2007 and 2009 published by the NASPA Journal, an association for the advancement of the student affairs profession, suggest that fraternity members are more likely to commit rape than non-fraternity members, and one of those studies found that a woman may increase her chances of rape by more than 70 percent if she is a sorority member.

Instead of emphasizing those alarming facts, the University of Minnesota’s sexual

assault prevention and tips page lists tips on how to avoid being a victim of sexual assault before tips on how not to rape.

Although major advantages are granted to men through the way society currently functions, there are signs that women are beginning to come out on

“A woman may increase her chances of rape by more than 70 percent if she is a sorority member.” top when it comes to the gender game: The Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development recently found that boys internationally are 50 percent more likely than girls to fail to achieve basic math, reading, and science proficiency. Pew Research Center analyzed U.S. Census Bureau data that showed females outpace males in college enrollment. And in the political arena, two of the six current top Democratic contenders for the 2016 U.S. presidential election according to P.B.S., Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren, are women.

The most disheartening factor those examples have in common is that there’s not any easy way to fix the wrongs. How can society hold elementary school teachers, public school policies, and universities across the nation responsible for an invisible system that affects so many people?

The ubiquity of male domination is something every woman experiences on a daily basis. The American Association of University Women found that boys get called on and listened to more often in classes. The book The Silent Sex: Gender, Deliberation, and Institutions found that men dominate conversations.

The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that the S.T.E.M. field remains saturated with men in upper management. Even as the Declara-

tion of Independence states all “men” are created equal, society silently teaches women the debilitating mechanics of passivity, politeness, and fear of overstepping boundaries.

A few days after the milk mishap, the guitar-playing roommate apologized defensively with his hands in the air, as if invisible ropes were near his ears. “Me and the guys share milk,” he said, hands still in the air, “I won’t drink your milk anymore.”

And in that moment, although the theme of male dominance hung thick in the air, I felt a small bit of patriarchy fall away.

In today’s world, that’s all a woman can ask for.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

35

Cheap Scares Filmmakers try their hands at low-budget horror

By Logan Wroge

Paul von Stoetzel and crew work on their production for the 48 Hour Horror Film Project

GETTING ALL THE ELEMENTS right is difficult. Precision lighting, creepy music, and compelling performances are just some of the components that make up horror movies. But often, by choice or happenstance, low-budget horror films get more laughs than gasps.

“The age of those who love being scared by movies keeps getting young-

History of B-Horror 36

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

er, and then everybody gets older and wiser and more cynical or ironic,” said Robert Silberman, a film studies professor at the University of Minnesota. “It’s more difficult to get back to pushing the primal fear buttons.”

While the SyFy channel is a modern home for B-horror film producers, the genre’s history goes back to the early 1922: Nosferatu is the first film adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, released in Germany. Being part of the German Expressionist movement, this early silent film’s clever use of shadows and music began scaring audiences.

days of cinema. In the studio era, movies were created like parts on an assembly line more so than a finely-tuned work of art. Productions that received a lower budget, and often screened second during a double feature showing, earned the title of B-movies.

Silberman explains how the origin of horror movies is rooted in the German Expressionist movement from the 1920s.

During this time, popular silent films like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and the first film rendition of the story of Dracula, Nosferatu, started to startle audiences.

Val Lewton, a Russian-born Hollywood producer, specialized in low-budget horror films during the 1940s. Silberman described Lewton as “a master at making a lot out of a little.” Lewton’s most famous movies, such as Cat People and The Body Snatcher, came more than a decade after horror classics Frankenstein and Dracula, both released in 1931.

Silberman suggests that Psycho began the wave of slasher films. Movies in this horror subgenre started producing series of sequels, such as A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th. It was about this time that certain elements became tropes for the genre, according to Silberman.

“Before you can parody something, whatever that is, the rules have to be established,” said Silberman.

In Hollywood, Roger Corman has

1948: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein was one of the first movies to combine elements of horror and comedy. The comedic duo starred in a series of movies after Abbott and Costello, where they encountered popular horror characters.

PHOTOS: BRANDON HOLLIS

Pop Culture /

/ Pop Culture

Fake Blood: How-To been a long-time financer of feature-length B-movies. With over 400 production credits to his name, B-horror films have been the bread and butter of Corman’s productions since the 1950s.

Most of his current work involves grotesque animal hybrids. Sharktopus, a story about a mutated shark and octopus, came out in 2010, spawning a sequel last year with a third movie in the series planned for release in 2016.

Here in Minnesota, aspiring filmmakers have tried their hands at horror movies. Austin Anderson, 27, worked as a volunteer coordinator in October for Minneapolis’ 48 Hour Horror Film Project.

Twenty-eight teams from around the Twin Cities competed over one weekend last fall to produce a short horror film.

The stipulations include a specific name, prop, and line.

“B-movies are cheesy but not trying to be cheesy, or maybe they’re not cheesy and trying to be cheesy. I can’t really tell,” Anderson said.

Paul von Stoetzel, 39-year-old Minneapolis filmmaker, produced a B-horror flick for the film project. Von Stoetzel, whose fascination with film and the horror genre started at an early age, said he was excited to choose the B-horror category.

“There’s something about when we do horror or something jacked up,” said von Stoetzel. “Everyone just bonds and has a great time.”

1960: Well-known horror filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock released Psycho.

The movie received critical acclaim with four Academy Award nominations and signaled a switch in the horror genre from creature flicks to slasher films.

Ingredients: 1 cup corn syrup 2 tablespoons water 2 tablespoons of red food coloring 1 tablespoon of chocolate syrup 2 tablespoons of cornstarch Step 1: Combine all the ingredients into a blender and mix for a few seconds (that’s it!).

Step 3: Use remaining chocolate syrup to throw an ice-cream party.

Step 2: Put a few drops on a white towel to test the realism.

Step 4: Clean out blender to make margaritas.

1990: Troll 2, which isn’t a sequel and stars no trolls, is released with little knowledge or desire for its existence. Netflix revived the film after it was added to its instant streaming service, starting a new cult following of this B-horror movie.

2013: With the tagline “Enough Said!” Sharknado, a made-for-television movie, entertained audiences of the SyFy channel by introducing the unlikely natural disaster of a shark-filled tornado. This certainly signaled a low-point in the career of the movie’s star, Tara Reid.

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

37

Pop Culture /

A Catalyst for Courage Local artist says hip-hop gives a voice to the voiceless

By Midge Reller

“HIP-HOP IS ONE of the few places in society where you have a raw, uncut, uninterrupted voice coming directly from people who are the most marginalized in the community,” Minneapolis hip-hop artist Toki Wright said. “Nobody cared before hip-hop artists.”

Hip-hop came to New York from the West Indies, said Yolanda Williams, African American and African Studies professor at the University of Minnesota. The music unified immigrants by bringing a little piece of home back to the urban New York communities. “It really not only gave people a voice, but it gave people an economical way to have careers in the music business,” Williams said.

There are four myths about black men, she said, and they have been ingrained in society for centuries: They are violent, oversexed with no sense of morality, unintelligent, and their talents are God-given (instead of acquired) skills.

These racial myths may be to blame for the mutual fear between whites and blacks, Williams said. White men had an inherent fear of losing control to black men, and black men feared being their next target.

After Malcolm X’s assassination, a group of black civil rights poets and musicians known as the Last Poets decided to use music as a key for social change.

Other rap artists entered the scene over the years with the same intention: They wanted to educate people about black history and the true Africa to get the community away from the ingrained myths.

38

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

The business has always influenced how music is portrayed, but hip-hop specifically has been commoditized to perpetuate white implications of black people, Williams said.

“Some people choose to keep their mouth shut because they know that once they decide to speak politically that it’s going to affect how much money that they make,” Wright said. “I can guarantee you that any album you go through ever by an artist from the inner-city is going to talk about poverty crime police brutality wanting to have some escape— whether it’s through drugs or imagining stuff as rich and famous.”

Williams suggested that the idea of death being around the corner also fuels the music. “My nephew said, ‘Yeah, I’ll probably die at 19 that’s just the way it is,’” she said.“ He has to be afraid of the police because yeah, he does have a license and yeah he does drive a little fast sometimes. Everybody does that, but not everybody has to think, ‘One time I’m gonna do this and I’m gonna be killed.’”

Some critics argue that hip-hop encourages deviant behavior. Michelle Alexander, author of The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness, suggested the subculture glorifies misogyny and criminality. Alexander said men raised in ghettos embrace the stigma and have no remorse for their “narcissistic self-destruction.”

She asked if we should question the black community’s moral compass.

That narcissism comes from black artists trying to prove society wrong, Wright said. “If you tell me my whole life that I’m going to be nothing and I get a big stack of money, I’m going to prove to you that I’m better than you,” he said.

People of color are consistently reminded that they are out of place, Wright said. “Nobody else in society but people of color get asked so frequently, ‘Why are you here?’ Even if you are moderately successful, just like your white counterpart, nobody wants you living in their neighborhood. You’re going to make our property value go down.”

Despite the brewing discrimination, hip-hop’s strong voice will not be muffled.

“I think hip-hoppers are some of the most fearless people on the planet,” Wright said. “They’re telling their story out in front of everybody and they’re being judged in front of the world and they don’t care.”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation right now unless there were some really bold people out there that said, ‘You know what? Screw what you think. This is my experience and I’m going to continue to be myself and tell the truth.’”

/ Pop Culture

Unshakeable A talk with “Naked and Afraid” star Forrest Galante

By Sam Schaust

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD globetrotting survivalist Forrest Galante gives definition to the term “wild upbringing.”

Raised in Zimbabwe, Galante has experienced first-hand run-ins with dangers the African bush has to offer. Living as a Californian now, Galante took a glimpse back into his times dodging hippo attacks, being held at gunpoint by child militants, and what’s next on the horizon.

Forrest on “Naked and Afraid” On the grand scale, Galante was challenged little during his two episodes on “Naked and Afraid,” a television show where contestants are pitted against each other with no resources and shreds of clothing to dress themselves. Surviving off his surroundings, Galante managed to earn the highest survival rating in the show’s history to date. Fear was hardly a thought, he admits, aside from contracting an imperceptible disease, such as dengue fever. Although one contestant did contract dengue, Galante remained healthy and noted sometimes how “you realize it’s not the things that you can see that’ll kill you.”

I know you spent a lot of your time in Zimbabwe as a child. What sort of nerve-racking times did you experience living out there?

Initially, yeah, I grew up there. When I wasn’t in school, I was on our farm where we lived—hours outside of the nearest store—or deep in the heart of the African bush on safari. To say I had a few frights out there would probably be the understatement of the century. Everything from being charged by hippos or having our canoe slipped by crocs…we took an elephant tusk through the door of our Land Rover once; I’ve been in two plane crashes…you name it, I’ve had a few chilly encounters.

Of all those life-threatening instances you mentioned, which was the most severely bloodchurning for you?

We came over a small termite mound on this game trail and saw this hippo that could not fully submerge. And this large bull hippo came charging straight at us. I shoved my girlfriend behind a tree nearby and dove out of the way while the guide with us fired at the hippo, but not to hit it—only to divert it. Looking at this animal with its mouth as wide open as my body and its teeth coming right at me, charging at full speed. It was something else.

I’ve got to ask: How do you confront that sort of danger? Is it confidence? Sheer luck?

It comes down to the fight or flight mindset, and I’m definitely a fighter. I just try to access the conditions—the animal’s behavior, the biological factors, etcetera—before entering into these situations.

What are you most fearful of from the African bush?

Cape buffalo without a doubt. They snap instantly. There is no rhyme or reason as to why they can be aggressive when they’re aggressive. People love to think that lions, other big cats and things like that are terrible when they are much more predictable. Cape buffalo, they are the gnarly guys.

You’ve built up quite a fear threshold from your times in the African bush. Would you agree?

How do you view the place where you grew up from your adult lens now?

You know, we haven’t even gotten to the dangerous part yet, my friend. You see, Zimbabwe went under some of the worst political turmoil the world has ever seen.

It ran from the richest country in Africa where the dollar was one-to-one with the pound—stronger than the U.S. dollar—into becoming the poorest country

AFRAIDMAG.WORDPRESS.COM

39

Pop Culture /

in the world in under ten years. This was from a dictator who forcefully evicted me and my family out of our home and out of our country at gunpoint. That was much more scary than any of the wildlife.

Wow, your heart rate must have peaked impossibly high. What happened?

In 2001, President Robert Mugabe ordered that all land owned by white farmers could be seized by locals. It was a “give back to the black campaign.” That was literally what they called it. Ultimately, we saw friends get murdered. We had our staff, who were loyal to us, go through “pungwes,” which are camps performing re-education through torture held by the governing party, ZANU-PF. So we saw real stuff. It was violent and it was around us all the time.

One night our farm was on fire and we ran outside to see. We were captured by 14- and 15-year-olds with machine guns and knives and they told us we had 12 hours to leave or everybody would be dead. They even killed some of our staff to show they were serious. Fewer than

24 hours later, we were in the U.S. with less than $400 to our name and three suitcases of clothes after having abandoned our entire home, our farm, our business, and all the money we had because Zimbabwe is blacklisted on the world’s trade embargo. For lack of better terms, we went from being wealthy, white landowners to poor immigrants.

Now that you’re a U.S. citizen, are there any overwhelming fears you face here in the States? Not just wildlife, but people too? (laughs) Honestly, America is so tame. I don’t mean to be a jerk, but I’ve been face to face with black bears and grizzly bears; I’ve caught hundreds if not thousands of rattlesnakes; I’ve seen mountain lions on various hikes; I’ve seen all of the worst that the U.S. has to offer and it’s all timid.

Oh yeah, I’m spending the month of May in Costa Rica on a spearfishing trip to hunt pelagic tuna, a month in the Exumas in the Bahamas in June, and in July I’m going white water rafting in Alaska.

Come September I’ll be back in Baja Mexico. I’m a busy guy.

And no fear involved in any of these trips, I’m assuming?

Honestly, after all my life experiences, I’m not a very fearful guy.

40

AFRAID | SPRING 2015

PHOTOS: COURTESY OF FORREST GALANTE

Any other adventures set in motion for the future?

Do You Know the Facts of Fear?

By Sarah Brownson

1. Which phobia is the fear of sharks? a) Genuphobia b) Glossophobia c) Gerascophobia d) Galeophobia

2. Urbach-Wiethe disease destroys which part of the brain that is associated with processing fear? a) Cerebellum b) Amygdala c) Thalamus d) Medulla

3. Who controlled airport security prior to September 11, 2001? a) Individual state governments b) Transportation Security Administration c) The Airline Security Board d) Individual airports

ILLUSTRATIONS: OLIVIA NOVOTNY

4. Which meditation breathing technique can be utilized to help overcome fear? a) Pranayama b) Bikram c) Asana d) Hatha

5. What show, airing in 1951 on NBC, was one of the first crime dramas to air on U.S. television? a) “Racket Squad” b) “Man Against Crime” c) “Dragnet” d) “Public Prosecutor”

6. Which electronic device helped capture the suspect of a home invasion and assault in New Jersey? a) Laptop camera b) Nanny camera c) Cell phone camera d) Home security camera

7. What is the first common anatomical response to fear? a) Rapid breathing b) Increased sweating c) Increased heart rate d) Dilated pupils

8. A lawsuit involving aliens was filed against which fear-based reality show in 2003? a) “Fear Factor” b) MTV’s “Fear” c) “Candid Camera” d) “Scare Tactics”

9. “Artificial intelligence” was an accessory to which crime in August 2014? a) Robbery b) Prostitution c) Murder d) Assault

Answers online at afraidmag.wordpress.com/trivia-answers