So, You Want To Spice Up Your Life?

They say 40 is the new 30, and if my math is correct, that means we're all getting younger by the decade. A century ago, people considered 50 to be old age, but with advances in medicine and a shift in attitude, adults in their fifties are just getting started. One of the things our culture has typically reserved for younger people is sex. Yes, that's right, we're going there. Buckle up, and let's talk about the awkward thing that is on all of our minds.

We all know that sexual longing and the desire for intimacy don't end at a certain age. Even as our bodies shift and change, we can still find ways to integrate sexual pleasure into our lives. The first step in caring for your sexual health is acknowledging your desire. Don't give in to the idea that older people can't or shouldn't be sexually active. It's simply not true. If you have a partner, communicate openly with them about your desire. Intimacy like this strengthens relationships, instills confidence, and can light a fire between lovers. If you're not in a relationship, it's still important to acknowledge to yourself that you desire sexual intimacy. If you locked away your sexual desire for so long that it appears to have dissipated, it's still not too late.

While your age and desire may not be a limiting factor in your sexuality, your physical health is. As with any physical activity, sex raises your heart rate, concerning adults with existing heart problems. Speak with your cardiologist if you have this concern. Adults who have arthritis or chronic illness may find sex uncomfortable or even painful. The solution is not to avoid sex altogether but to speak with your doctor about how you can either treat your symptoms or find safer ways to derive pleasure. Your physical well-being is essential to maintaining a healthy sex life.

We must address the essential steps that come before sexual intimacy. We all know that attraction is the basis of sexual desire. This was true when you were young and remains the case today. Think back to when you were younger, and you'd put on a new outfit, do your hair, and wear your best coy smile, all to catch the attention of someone you fancied. Do you remember how good that made you feel? Often, we make investments in our physical appearance to attract partners, but the truth is, investing in ourselves makes us feel attractive. When we feel good, we derive self-confidence that radiates off of us. No one expects you to look like you did when you were twenty. But, after all of the years that you've put effort into serving the people around you, maybe now is a good time to do a little something for yourself. If you want to ramp up the sexual energy in your relationship or tap into your own desire, take some time to think about what would make you feel the most attractive. There are many levels of attraction. We are attracted to people physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. When we fill our lives with the things that light us up, we feel more fulfilled, attractive, and attracted.

While physical attraction is not the only element in overall attraction, it's certainly part of it. When we think about taking care of our bodies, most people think first of a healthy diet and regular exercise. And the great news is, both of these positive habits are known to increase sexual drive. The things you're doing to feel attractive are also contributing to your sexual desire. On the other hand, the unhealthy habits that your doctor has warned you against - things like stress, smoking, and over-consuming alcohol - are factors that may inhibit your sexual drive. If you haven't found the right motivation to care for your body, maybe this will be the thing that does it for you.

Our attitudes and desire for sexual intimacy don't dissolve as we age, but our bodies change in ways that make sex more complicated than it was in our youth.

Our attitudes and desire for sexual intimacy don't dissolve as we age, but our bodies change in ways that make sex more complicated than it was in our youth. As women age, estrogen levels drop, leading to vaginal dryness and less physical sexual arousal. Drops in estrogen may make sex undesirable and uncomfortable. If this sounds familiar to you, speak with your doctor. There may be medications available to you. Plus, endless varieties of over-thecounter lubricants and creams will spice up your sex life and stand in where your body no longer creates proper lubrication. Men's hormones have their ways of creating problems for their sex lives. When men's testosterone hormone drops, it can become more challenging to achieve or maintain an erection. But this problem is easily solved thanks to modern medicine. Speak with your doctor about issues you're having reaching and maintaining an erection. There are medications available to help. There is no shame for anyone, man or woman, who chooses to invest in products to help you achieve sexual satisfaction. The real shame is not taking advantage of the resources available to you.

But there's something else we should discuss. Once you've seen a doctor, regained your self-confidence, and are ready to hit the town, you must be prepared to protect yourself. Research shows that the rate of sexually transmitted infections in older adults is increasing. Yep, you heard that right. As we sit here and make an argument for why seniors should be having sex, it turns out you're doing it anyway. There is a real-life sexual revolution taking place in senior living communities all across the country. However, since older adults aren't at risk of unwanted pregnancy, you're not always taking the appropriate steps to protect yourself from unwanted infections. Sexually transmitted diseases are more than simple annoyances. Left undiagnosed and untreated, they can be detrimental to your health.

These days, young people have access to so much information about sexual health and how to prevent the spread of disease. If you were born in the 1960s or earlier, you might not have had access to much information about sexual health in your youth. Before you enter into a sexual relationship with another adult, you should start by having yourself tested and ask that the other person get tested as well. And, even though you're not worried about preventing pregnancy, it's always a good idea to use prophylactics when having a sexual encounter with a person for the first time. When you put safety first, you're less likely to find yourself in a doctor's office later.

There's one final thing we need to address about sex and aging. There is no way to understate how much your emotional health impacts your sexual health. We've talked a lot about taking care of your body, but it's just as essential to take care of your mind and heart. Healthy eating and exercise help keep your body healthy; they also keep your mind healthy. We've all experienced how emotional issues like stress and depression can dull our desire. But healthy relationships can bolster your emotional health, making you feel energized and maybe even a little frisky. Whether or not you're planning your sexual revolution, you must take the time to care for your emotional health.

We can't leave without mentioning one final thing. You don't need a partner to experience sexual gratification. Ancient art from Greek and Japanese cultures dating back tens of thousands of years makes references to personal devices. What may seem like a new and risqué phenomenon is anything but. If you're not in a relationship or don't care to be in a relationship, you can still reap all the benefits of an active sex life.

Yes, that's right, there are genuine health benefits to maintaining an active sex life. Researchers say that it may support your immune health, bladder control, and blood pressure. Plus, if you're having trouble feeling the desire for sexual intimacy, the act of engaging in sexual activity can increase your libido so that you desire it more.

This article isn't meant to be an advertisement for sex. We have nothing to sell and nothing to gain. Instead, we hope this is an invitation and a rekindling for those senior adults who have been waiting to come back to themselves. There is no age limit to desire, and in reading this, we hope you feel empowered to pursue that which pleases you.

So, to all of the sexual revolutionaries out there, we applaud you! You've worked hard and given yourself to others; now it's time to put yourself first. And for those of you who are waiting to dip your toes back into the desire pool. Come on in. The water's fine.

Adrienne Freeland is a freelance writer who specializes in helping business owners communicate more clearly. Using skills developed in her former career as a professional fundraiser, Adrienne collaborates with her clients to craft engaging, targeted content.