The broadcast by Ahmed Mounir

As’ad Bedir Reveals Pattern 365.

5 Questions with Akram Bodraz

Page 10

Page 07

The Disappearance of Women Page 08

Universe Guide

Issue 25 / Friday / One Dinar

The Whale Has Resurfaced By Saleh Serbah, Algiers The logs floated closer -almost colliding at times- and musicians clumsily prepared as the 50-foot bullet-shaped whale blasted into the sky, blocking the sun's rays for a minute or so, before taking in enough air to dive into the water again.The wait has paid off for the King and his flock, who had gazed upon the horizon for hours, hoping for the annual resurfacing of Al-Khidr's whale.What started out as a small annual gathering of Al-Khidr followers turned into a national holiday, celebrated with the blessing (and attendance) of the Page 04 , 05 king.

Looters Crack the Green Dome Open Revealing Buried Treasures By Asalah Anas, Baghdad Retired looting expert Barhoum Badr is excavating the site in hopes of finding any leftovers from the the looting incident, which occurred yesterday. He also revealed to The Broadcast that the One Thief Gang approached him earlier for assistance in looting the Dome, to which he flat out refused, “It is true that I was once a looter, but as you grow and see the world, your views on life Page 02 , 03 change”, he explained.

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Current Affairs

Issue 25 / Friday

Long-Forgotten Treasures Burried Beneath the Green Dome By Asalah Anas, Baghdad Barhoum and his team located a golden gate just in the middle of the cracked dome, of course by the time they arrived, the gate was already open and the treasures were already stolen. "I was surprised the gate was not broken", said Barhoum, "Whoever that One Thief Gang guy is, he knows his onions". Since we all woke up yesterday to the surprise that the green dome was not, in fact, a dome at all, Barhoum has taken the initiative to investigate the incident. "There must have been tons of treasures here, these are the largest halls I've ever seen", Barhoum contemplated. It is also worth mentioning that the color of the dome turned from green to blue after the incident, which rendered its name, the Green Dome, meaningless; since it is now neither green nor a dome.

The One Thief Gang The One Thief gang, which are allegedly responsible, ware unheard of until Barhoum undisclosed their name and other information, which are now available to the public exclusively on The Broadcast. Little is known about the man behind it all, and how the people, places in his life and his mental state has influenced his decision to oddly name himself the ‘One Thief Gang’. “He only spoke to me once, but that’s all I needed to tell he could have been the greatest man ever lived, if only that was what he wanted”, Barhoum explained. Moreover, when we asked him why he refused the One Thief gang offer, “It is true that I was once a looter, but as you grow and see the world, your views on life change”, he replied, “besides it would no longer be a One Man gang if I was to join”.

Current Affairs

Safwan District The Dome

Issue 25 / Friday

The Lake of Four

Tigris River The One Thief Gang

Ulba Island

Origin of The Dome

* reconstructed isometric shot of the location.

The origin of the dome was always a controversial subject among historians, some believed it was built by Adad-nirari III during the Neo-Assyrian dynasty, while others claim that it was surely built far back into history by the Neanderthals, and Adad-nirari III just reconstructed it after it was almost worn out by the toll of time

Issue 25 / Friday

Current Affairs

THE WHALE HAS BLESSED US!

A CALL TO RENEW OUR FAITH

Current Affairs

Issue 25 / Friday

The King, Accompanied By His Flock, Witnessed the Whale Resurfacing Yesterday

By Saleh Serbah, Algiers This season the watching crowd has doubled in size, with royal promises of a generous reward to the one who spots the whale ďŹ rst, "Most of these people are in it for the money", said an old man with a disgusted look on his face.The tradition was kept alive by a small group of Al-Khidr followers, but the popularity of the event has increased exponentially since the women disappearance incident, some claim that the women are held captive there, "I swear I saw my wife and a bunch of other women half naked bathing around the fountain the whale made!", said the layman with a confused mix of excitement and broken grief upon his face. "I have not missed a single whale watching day since I got circumcised 83 years ago", said another -very- old man sitting in the front row, even though everyone knows he has been naturally blind from birth. The National Whale Watching Service has also issued updated guidelines this year, since the last year accident, when a very enthusiastic whale-watcher decided to tie himself to a swarm of crows, thinking they would lift him up in the sky for a better view, and ended up being pecked to death.

Issue 25 / Friday

Algerian Runner Masoud Obied Withdraws From Madani Due to Lung Tumors By Hamza Serhan, Algiers Olympics' marathon 4th place finisher Masoud Obied announced that he has cancelled his plans to compete in next year's Madani International Marathon. After months upon months of rumors, this news might finally end all the speculations about whether Obied's life has truly gone downhill or uphill since he started using Oxyana. He was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this week, but he refuses any sort of treatment, and he still finds a way to get his dose of Oxyana to the ICU. "I started enjoying going outdoors ever-since I started using it", Obied commented, "I don't care if it is ruining me from the inside, as long as it's making everything else look beautiful".

Bombings target cafes ﬁlled with football fans, kills 17 [Source: realworld] Iraqi ofﬁcials said a series of bombings targeting football fans has struck cafes in and around Baghdad, killing 16 and wounding dozens. On Thursday evening, an explosion near a cafe killed four people and wounded 14. Two blasts in the town of Jbela, south of the capital, wounded three. Elsewhere in Baghdad, separate attacks killed a barber and wounded nine other people.

Sports

The World Championship Starts Tomorrow, 235 Iraqi Dancers Compete in Jubi Dancing

LONG JUBI The Championship For Long-Jubi Dance

Sports

Issue 25 / Friday

5 Questions with Akram Bodraz Akram Bodraz: Back-Scratching is Awesome! Baghdad Based professional swimmer, father and an ex-husband, Akram Bodraz recently had signed a new contract with Rainbowbow, a drugs and nutrition supplement manufacturer. Q. How are you these days, Akram? How long have you been in Baghdad? A. Yeah, just got here yesterday. Q. Do you have an apartment here or do you stay in a hotel? A.Rainbowbow actually bought me a villa in Baghdad suburbs, I am here to check it out. Q. How much time do you plan to spend here? A. I do not know, once I'm done with my business I might stay for a while, I got an invitation from Barhoum the other day. Q. If you weren't a swimmer what other profession would you choose? A. A backscratcher, yeah deﬁnitely, back-scratching is awesome. Q. Any places you haven’t been that you’d still like to go? A. Yeah, I heard the Green Dome was cracked just this morning [yesterday morning by the time this is published], I got a call from Barhoum and he told me he'll let me in if I pay... erm, if I pay him a visit.

Polyke the award winning alt-soccer game now available on your ax video machine tm

Issue 25 / Friday

Miscellaneous

The Remembrance of Women Disappearance The unexplained disappearance of females has left the younger generation devastated By / Bader Baher According to those who had wives once, almost fifteen years ago -in the 10th of March, was the first day they woke up to find themselves alone (with their children, the male ones). The mysterious case of the disappearance of women still, of course, stirs public outcries for help from residents. Renowned Businessman and visionary entrepreneur, Gabeer Haseeb, told us that the contractor manufacturing the new plastic housewife models has promised to increase the production rate, hoping to match supply to the increasing demand. The demand has apparently skyrocketed after the puritans finally made it public on national TVs, that they lost all hope of ever finding a real woman anytime soon. "we are doing our best to make the most realistic plastic women ever", said Gabeer, "given the little actual data we have about them, that is". Fifteen years were more than enough to erase almost all of what we know about women, that we had outside of the data that some managed to write down, before the passage of time took its toll on their memories. Back then, when there were women, they were not allowed to appear or even being talked about in public, but now that they're plastic, we find ourselves talking about them all the time; maybe that is one advantage we should embrace.

This might be the only surviving photograph of a human female

Logician Ashraf Baker Commits Suicide in an Automobile By Gawad Habeeb The 21-year-old famous logician Ashraf Baker was found dead today in a trailer park in an apparent suicide; authorities found toxic substances inside his car, the police reported. Officers set up a cordon sealing off the street while firefighters tried to deal with the chemicals, "If you enter an area and it smells like rotten eggs, you better get the hell out as fast as you can", said the patriotic firefighter before entering the restricted area.

Issue 25 / Friday

Asaad Bedir’s “Pattern 365” Exhibition Is Coming to Algiers! After years of public anticipation, Asaad ﬁnally unveils his latest tea bag design

Book Review: Beer in the Video Club ‫ﺑــﻴﺮﺓ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﻧـــــــــﺎﺩﻯ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻔـــﻴﺪﻳﻮ‬

‫ﻓــــﺮﻳﺪ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟـــﻲ‬

Art and Literature

By Barah Rafeeq, Algiers The state-of-the-art exhibition, costing 4.2 million dinars and over a year to construct, is ﬁnally upon us. “This here is the future of tea bags”, said Mootaz Shamandar, 34, one of Asaad’s fans and the man who oversaw the development of the exhibtion. “Asaad was strongly inspired by his cildhood and his mother’s attitude towards tea shopping”. This exhibtion will be the measure of the growing public interest in the aesthetics of tea bags; the way it looks, and the tactile shivers it sends down the spine.

By Bakeer Qassi Fareed Wali’s first and only published novel “Beer in the Video club”, was just re-issued in a new edition featuring cover art by Masood Al-Ashash. If you’re not familiar with the title or the author’s backstory, I highly recommend you fix this immediately, you’ll be in for one wild ride. Fareed Wali’s excellent novel was first published by Audrey Bosch almost five decades ago, It garnered a lot of attention at the time. Unforunately, not so long after that, the author got too drunk and committed suicide, leaving behind only a tragic drunken-written suicide note.

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Cairo Symphony Orchestra in Algiers

The widely-known Cairo Symphony Orchestra vists the city next week, or that is what they promised, we can only hope they make it this time. Hosny Shabana, the orchestra’s principal trumpeter, was their last excuse for not performing last week; they told us he broke his calcaneus bone while taking a shower in the airport hotel, “this time it is a valid excuse, we promise”, said the orchestra director. The orchestra, given they were honest, will perform Azhad’s Requiem for the audience. Needless to say no one will dare to buy the tickets until they see, with their own eyes, the orchestra warming up on stage .

Art and Literature

Issue 25 / Friday

Best sellers this month 1. The Robe by Eyad Douglas - February 8 2. Point of No Return by Marciel Imam - March 7 3. Bird In the Sky by Van dyck Mason - April 4

LIFE OF WHALE DIRECTED BY WRITTEN BY PRODUCED BY EDITEDD BY AZIZ LAKHDAR RAOUF BADRA MAGED BOSABOUN ZAHRAA ALBADI POST-PRODUCTION PRODUCTION DESIGN CAST SET DESIGN BAHY STUDIOS MAKHLOUFA BAGANI MAYSOUM MAGDOUMA

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