Mirror 0811 by Aid to the Church in Need

The Light of the World You are the Salt of the Earth

Aid to the Church in Need

helping the Church heal the world.

For several years, Fr. Peter Shekelton has proclaimed the Light of the Gospel to the remotest regions of the Amazon basin.

The Light of the World You are the Salt of the Earth Contents Page ‘Thy Will be done’

Psalm 27: ‘The Lord is my Light and my Salvation’

Fr. Peter Shekelton - ‘I am that young man’

St. John Chrysostom on ‘the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World’

Fr. Holden & Fr. Pinsent - ‘Recognising Saints’

Fr. Vima Dasan SJ - ‘They just Shine’

Bishop Fulton Sheen - ‘Youth & Heroism’

Fr. James V. Schall - ‘The Extraordinary Adventure’

Pope Benedict XVI - “Look to the Future with Hope”

Paul’s Conversion Story ‘Seeing the Light, obeying the Voice’

Kathleen’s Conversion Story ‘Thank God I Made It Home’

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

A chairde, Faithful Catholics throughout the Western World are acutely conscious of the need for a New Evangelisation and particularly among the young. Initiatives such as World Youth Day and its various local national, diocesan counterparts have been and are being championed to bring the eternal Light of Truth to today’s youth. Self-evidently Truth must be proclaimed to a digital generation which is largely hostile to the Faith using language, idioms, methods and images it understands or can understand. Being conscious of such a need however is not the same as understanding why there is such a need in the first place. Here let me suggest that we need a New Evangelisation because we need new saints, indeed we need lots of new saints. But… • Who are saints? • How do we recognise them? • How are they formed? • What difference do they make? • Do we really need saints, never mind lots of them? Without making any pretence of answering such questions definitively, this short bulletin offers a small smorgasbord of readings and reflections which broadly relate to the issue of saintliness. In compiling these readings ‘saintliness’ has been equated with being ‘the Light of the World’ and ‘the Salt of the Earth’. Fr. Peter Shekelton was a young Englishman man who in the early 1990’s discovered his vocation to be a light to the world at an ACN event in Westminster

Cathedral. Fr. Peter now proclaims the light of the Gospel among Brazil’s alienated slum dwellers and the forgotten people who dwell along the Amazon’s tributaries. The first reading profiles Fr. Peter and his heroic ministry. An early Church Father and a Doctor of the Church, St. John Chrysostom’s reflection on ‘the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World’ then follows, which is followed in turn by two articles which set out to classify the different types of saints. In their essay Fathers Holden and Pinsent inform us that that there are many ways to become a saint, while Fr. Dasan in his short essay simply tells us that saints just shine. Archbishop Fulton Sheen as well as having a remarkable gift for communication invariably has something profound to say. In this bulletin his short essay on ‘Youth and heroism’ is included as the criterion of ‘heroic virtue’ is one of the Church’s essential criteria for the recognition of saintliness. Note here that the Archbishop who was writing well over a generation ago was even then, highly critical of parents over their failure to give ‘youth the chance to know the heroic’. Fr. Peter Shekelton got the chance and he took it. Fr. James Schall in a substantial article takes up the theme of saintliness as an extraordinary adventure that is founded on real love as expressed in the gift of ourselves to one another. It is a reflection in which he considers a discourse given by Pope Benedict XVI at St John Lateran on the feast of Our Lady of Trust in 2009. To the qualities of being Loving, Shining, Heroic and Humble, Benedict adds Hope-

The Light of the World

filled. Saints have Hope because God has called each of them by name ‘out of darkness into His marvellous light’. In which regard Benedict proclaims, as Peter did before him that all of us who are baptised have been called ‘out of darkness into His marvellous light’. Anthony Lilles’ reflection on the conversion of St. Paul, ‘Seeing the Light, obeying the Voice’ follows on quite naturally. Those who aspire to become the light and ‘simply shine’ must first accept their calling - an increasingly difficult proposition perhaps when as Fulton puts it rock and sports stars ‘represent the major attraction of the youth, rather than heroes and saints’. Here one is reminded of the rich young man in the gospel according to Mark, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

(Mark 10: 25). In all of this Kathleen’s conversion story suggests that it is we who make ourselves ourselves blind to the Light and deaf to His call and it is when we stop making life difficult for ourselves, that life becomes Joy, because we have Hope and we simply shine. According to Kathleen to become a saint you need simply accept ‘Thy will be done’ and the Good Shepherd Will ‘bring you home’. “For all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10: 27). Beannachtaí,

J F Declan Quinn

Psalm 27: ‘The Lord is my Light and my Salvation’ 1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2. When evildoers assail me, uttering slanders against me, my adversaries and foes, they shall stumble and fall. 3. Though a host encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. 4. One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple. 5. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent, he will set me high upon a rock. 6. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies round about me; and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the LORD.

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

Fr. Peter Shekelton – ‘I am that young man’ by John Pontifex and John Newton* Living in Brazil, Yorkshireman Fr. Peter Shekelton spends his summers visiting the villages that lie close to one of the tributaries of the Amazon. The priest has worked in this country 6,000 miles away from this birthplace for several years. One of his first decisions after arriving in the country was to reach out to some of the remotest regions and bring the Gospel and the Sacraments to those people without access to a priest. Fr. Peter’s presence is always warmly welcomed by the riverside dwellers. In many ways, it is to be expected; until he arrived in this remote corner of Brazil, no Fr. Peter Shekelton

priest had come to their village to say Mass for many years. When Fr. Peter and his companions arrive by boat in a village near Lago Canacari, no priest had visited the riverside settlement for five years. Fr. Peter says that, while it is unusual for a village to be without the Sacraments for such a long period, when he undertook his first journey down the Rio Arari in 2003 some of the communities he found had not been visited by a priest for two or three years. The Rio Arari is one of the tributaries of the Amazon and those living alongside it are mostly subsistence farmers, who make a little money from selling their vegetables. Fr. Peter now visits the Catholic faithful in more than 30 villages along the water’s edge every July. He travels 10 hours by boat from the port of Itacoatiara in Amazonas state to reach the first of the villages along the river. But it is not all good news. Fr. Peter said: “When I visit the villages again a year later, I often discover that many of the faithful to whom I gave the Sacraments the previous year have since died. Many of them died literally a day after I came. It is almost as though they had been hanging on, unwilling to die, until they had received that Sacraments”. Sadly, Fr. Peter says that sometimes he finds that children he baptised the previous year have passed away. Originally from Sheffield, Fr. Peter has been working with the poor in Brazil since 2002. When he is not journeying down the Amazon’s tributaries he ministers in the Favelas – the notorious slum quarter of Sao Paulo, Brazil’s largest city. Many

The Light of the World

people living in this, the capital of the country’s most populous state, have little hope for the future. They live in the midst of crime, prostitution and drug addiction. Assisting Fr. Peter in his work is a group of young men from more affluent parts of the city who carry out visits from shack to shack, reading the Gospel and praying with the families. The priest, who is a member of the Catholic religious congregation the Legionaries of Christ, said: “During these missions, information is also gathered regarding the Sacramental needs of the families, as well as any material or health needs that the missionaries come across. During these missions I often visit sick but especially old people who the missionaries come across, usually administering the Sacrament of the Sick”. The young men who share his work in the slums also accompany him on his trips

Fr. Shekelton’s boat moored on the Amazon

down the Amazon’s tributary. The only time they are not on board is when they are with the communities. In every place where they stop off the young men do invaluable work, talking about the Faith to the adults, entertaining and catechising the children. All of this frees up Fr. Peter to administer the Sacraments, especially saying Mass. These young men’s lives have been touched by the missionary work that they take part in. At least 20 of Fr. Peter’s former missionaries are now studying for the priesthood. Their enthusiasm and commitment could not come at a more critical time. In a part of the world where Catholicism has been for so many generations an unquestioned part of life and culture, new faith groups have suddenly arrived. These evangelical sects each seek to win converts, drawing people away from the Catholic Church. There is a need for more priests like Fr. Peter to expand the important work done with the communities living alongside the Amazon and its tributaries. F r. Peter discovered his own call to priesthood in 1991 sitting in Westminster Cathedral. In this famous London landmark, he was listening to a talk by Fr. Werenfried van Straaten, the

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

founder of Aid to the Church in Need. Working in London as a fireman at the time, he had gone to the charity’s annual Westminster event. As usual there was a collection for ACN’s work – but then Fr. Werenfried boldly declared: “I would be willing to give up this entire collection if just one young man among you were willing to offer his life in the service of Our Lord and proclaim the Kingdom of God as his priest”. At that instant, Peter instinctively thought: “I am that young man”! Eighteen years later, in 2009, with his ministry in Brazil now well established, he wrote to ACN: “At that time I didn’t dare to ask Fr.

Werenfried for the collection, but today I am asking you for a little of the money from the collection from back then”. The charity agreed to help with transport costs, including petrol for the boat and the boat driver’s salary, so that the English priest can continue his ministry to the forgotten souls along the banks of the Amazon. * Pontifex J and Newton J: ‘Heroic Priests – witness of faith in the 21st Century’, Aid to the Church in Need, London, 2010

ACN is also helping the work of the Capuchin Fathers in the upper Amazon region . Fr Gino Alberati, OFMCap, boarding his missionary boat “Itinerante”.

The Light of the World

Salt of the Earth and Light of the World St. John Chrysostom (349-407), Early Church Father and Doctor of the Church This excerpt is taken from a homily by Saint John Chrysostom on the Gospel of St. Matthew (Hom. 15, 6-7: PG 57, 231-232) and comments on the famous lines in the Sermon on the Mount in which Jesus calls his disciples the Salt of the Earth and the Light of the World (Matt. 5: 15-16). You are the salt of the earth. It is not for your own sake, he says, but for the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake that the Word is entrusted to you. I am not sending you only into two cities only or ten to twenty, not to a single nation, as I sent the prophets of

old, but across land and sea, to the whole world. And that world is in a miserable state. For when he says: You are the salt of the earth, he is indicating that all mankind had lost its savor and had been corrupted by sin. Therefore, he requires of these men those virtues which are especially useful and even necessary if they are to bear the burdens of many. For the man who is kindly, modest, merciful and just will not keep his good works to himself but will see to it that these admirable fountains send out their streams for the good of others. Again, the man who is clean of heart, a peacemaker and ardent for truth will order his life so as to contribute to the common good. Do not think, he says, that you are destined for easy struggles or unimportant tasks. You are the salt of the earth. What do these words imply? Did the disciples restore what had already turned rotten? Not at all. Salt cannot help what is already corrupted. That is not what they did. But what had first been renewed and freed from corruption and then turned over to them, they salted and preserved in the newness the Lord had bestowed. It took the power of Christ to free men from the corruption caused by sin; it was the task of the apostles through strenuous labour to keep that corruption from returning. Have you noticed how, bit by bit, Christ shows them to be superior to the prophets? He says they are to be teachers not simply for Palestine but for the whole world. Do not be surprised, then, he says, that I address you apart from the others

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

and involve you in such a dangerous enterprise. Consider the numerous and extensive cities, peoples and nations I will be sending you to govern. For this reason I would have you make others prudent, as well as being prudent yourselves. For unless you can do that, you will not be able to sustain even yourselves. If others lose their savor, then your ministry will help them regain it. But if you yourselves suffer that loss, you will drag others down with you. Therefore, the greater the undertakings put into your hands, the more zealous you must be. For this reason he says: But if the salt becomes tasteless, how can its flavour be restored? It is good for nothing now, but to be thrown out and trampled by men’s feet. When they hear the words, when they curse you and persecute you and accuse you of every evil, they may be afraid to come forward. Therefore he says: “Unless you are prepared for that sort of thing, it is in vain that I have chosen you. Curses shall necessarily be your lot but they shall not harm you and

will simply be a testimony to your constancy. If through fear, however, you fail to show the forcefulness your mission demands, your lot will be much worse, for all will speak evil of you and despise you. That is what being trampled by men’s feet means”. Then he passes on to a more exalted comparison: You are the light of the world. Once again, “of the world”: not of one nation or twenty cities, but of the whole world. The light he means is an intelligible light, far superior to the rays of the sun we see, just as the salt is a spiritual salt. First salt, then light, so that you may learn how profitable sharp words may be and how useful serious doctrine. Such teaching holds in check and prevents dissipation; it leads to virtue and sharpens the mind’s eye. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor do men light a lamp and put it under a basket. Here again he is urging them to a careful manner of life and teaching them to be watchful, for they live under the eyes of all and have the whole world for the arena of their struggles.

The Light of the World

Recognising Saints by Fr. Marcus Holden & Fr. Andrew Pinsent* “They shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more ... for the former things have passed away.” (Rev 21: 3-4)

The Catholic record The ‘saints’ are those human persons who are now in heaven, where they see God face to face. While the number and names of all the saints are unknown, the Church formally recognises that certain persons are definitely in heaven. These persons receive that appellation ‘Saint’ and can be asked to intercede or pray for those still on earth.

Since the Church is established on earth to gather humanity to divine life in heaven, a saint is the most important fruit of the faith. Indeed, Bl. John Henry Newman (d. 1890) described the work of the Church in these words, “That mighty world-wide Church, like her Divine Author... labours for the individual soul ... Her one duty is to bring forward the elect to salvation” (Lectures on Anglican Difficulties, VIII.3). In other words, every facet of the Catholic faith, including its sacraments, teachings, hierarchy, laws and so on, exists to create saints. While the importance of saints is principally from a supernatural perspective, many of the saints have changed the world in visible ways as evangelists, witnesses to truth, teachers, monarchs or sources of inspiration. A plethora of place names worldwide testify to the cultural impact of saints. The diversity of the saints is one of their most striking characteristics. Saints include men and women, children and the aged, single and married persons, kings and beggars, ordained, religious and members of the laity. There have been many ways of classifying saints, but the liturgy of the church recognises the following major categories. First, there is the Virgin Mary, who is given a unique place of honour as the Mother of Jesus. Then there are the apostles, principally the twelve apostles called by Christ: Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew (Nathanael), Matthew (Levi), Thomas, James (son of Alphaeus), Thaddeus (Jude) and Simon the Zealot with Matthias replacing Judas, who

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

betrayed Jesus. St Paul, the ‘Apostle to the Gentiles’ is also classified in the liturgy as an apostle, while some pioneering missionaries are given the honorific title ‘apostles’: Saint Patrick is sometimes described as the apostle to the Irish. A second major group of saints is the martyrs, those who were put to death for bearing witness to Christ and his teaching. This group includes men, women and even children in every century. The deacon St Stephen was the first martyr while St Agnes was one of many female martyrs in the early Church. The twentieth century produced more martyrs than all other centuries combined, two prominent examples being St Maximilian Kolbe and St Edith Stein, both of whom died in the Nazi concentration camp of Auschwitz. A third group of saints are virgins, the virtue of which is not so much sexual

abstinence in itself, although this is a prerequisite, but in a complete espousal devotion to God. These saints bear witness, which is especially important in a world of sexual vice, to a supernatural love of God. Such saints are also a special inspiration to female religious orders. A fourth category are the numerous saints who were pastors, such as St John Vianney and St Philip Neri. A special category of pastors are the thirty-three Doctors of the Church, whose teachings are regarded as having universal and great benefit. A fifth category are those who do not fit into any of the previous categories, with special recognition given to saints noted for works of mercy and to educators. In recent years, there has been increased interest in the cause of married couples, such as Louis and Zélie Martin, (St.

The Light of the World

Thérèse of Lisieux’s parents.) There are also many saints of everyday life who are not yet known to us.

Catholicism and saints: the deeper connections While almost all Christians view eternal life with God as the goal of faith, Catholic theology gives specific reasons for the prominence of the saints. First, Catholicism teaches that salvation is not merely added externally by God (the classic Protestant view) but consists in becoming holy within through grace. In other words, a saint is someone who has not just been considered by God as holy, but has actually become holy and is worthy of honour. Second, Catholicism teaches that we are free to co-operate with grace, so that works done in a state of grace can be

meritorious. We can therefore honour the saints for their victories, achieved by grace. Third, the Catholic concept of salvation emphasises divine adoption, whereby a Christian is an adopted child of God and therefore worthy of special honour. Fourth, the faith teaches that the Church herself is a living communion, uniting the faithful on earth, in purgatory and in heaven. Just as we can ask others on earth to pray for us, it is even more effective to ask the saints in heaven to intercede for us. * Holden M and Pinsent A, ‘Lumen – The Catholic Gift to Civilisation’ Catholic Truth Society, London, 2011.

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

THEY JUST SHINE By Vima Dasan SJ* Lighthouses do not ring bells nor do they fire a cannon to get attention to their shining – they just shine. So it is with saints. Some saints in heaven are canonised by the Church. She does so in admiration of their heroism in being holy and to serve as ideals in practising some particular Christian virtues. For instance, St Perpetua was a young mother in prison as punishment for her faith in Christ and she gave birth only a few days before her martyrdom. The soldier who witnessed her crying out in the pains of labour said to her, “What will you do while you are suffering in the arena?” And she answered, “Then another One will suffer in me”. The One she referred to was Christ within her. Such was her heroic faith in Christ that

she was canonised as a saint in order to inspire faith in Jesus Christ. Many of the canonised saints are remembered for their extraordinary mystic speculations, miracle working or uncommon austerities. Among them can be counted also those saints who went into the deserts to live alone in prayer and penance. They went there not because they hated human society, nor because they believed that living in a hole would make one holier but because they sought after loving union with God with all their heart undisturbed by human society around them. Additionally there are the uncanonised saints in heaven. They were ordinary men and women, who lived and loved, worked and played, struggled, succeeded and failed in their daily works; but they are in heaven now because they made every effort while on earth to be holy by following the teachings of Christ to which they had made baptismal commitment. Among them, no doubt, are members of our own families. In this respect, we should also remember those saints who are still living on earth and living holy lives. If these are all saints, because they were holy or are becoming holy, one is tempted to ask. “What is the essence of holiness that is common to all of them?” The essence is that they lived their lives according to the call of the Beatitudes as taught by Jesus Christ: “To be poor in spirit, to be pure of heart, to be humble, to thirst after justice, to show mercy, to make peace, to accept sufferings and sorrows in the name of Christ” (Mt 5:112). In other words, their holiness consists

The Light of the World

in thinking as God thinks, willing as God wills: it has love for its essence, humility for its clothing, the good of others as its employment, and honour of God as its end. It goes without saying that such a life of holiness has to pass through trials and tribulations, even daily martyrdom. But those who persevered in living out the Beatitudes are in heaven now as saints. They are those, as the Book of Revelation graphically puts it, “who survived the great period of trials and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the lamb” (Rev 7:1). They were true “children of God” on earth and now have “come in his light”. (1 Jn3:1-3). We are all called to become saints. The destiny of a Christian is not happiness, nor health, but holiness. God is not an eternal blessing-machine for us; he did not come to save us out of pity; he came to save us because he created us to be holy. Perhaps some of us recoil from the thought of becoming saints, because we are so conscious of our sinfulness; but many of the insights of the saints stemmed form their experience as sinners. We say that God creates us out of nothing and we call it a wonder. But there is something still more wonderful that God does: God makes saints out of sinners. Each of us can achieve holiness by practising the virtues described by the Beatitudes and achieve it where we live our lives.

not around it. However, in our consistent endeavour to become saints, we have the saints in heaven to help us. They are right by God’s side interceding for us. The help they give us and their nearness to us should be very reassuring. In all our difficulties we are never alone. Therefore as we respond to our call to saintliness, let us keep praying for this saintliness and keep our hearts always open to receive God’s grace. For just as the sun pours down its rays from above abundantly upon all; ‘His Word Lives’ by Vima Dasan SJ only those who have eyes can see them, and then only if their eyes are open. So too, when God sends down from above his abundant help to all, only those whose hearts are open can benefit from his grace and power to practise virtue. * Adapted from: Vima Dasan SJ ‘His Word Lives’ St Pauls, London 2007.

Living out our baptismal commitment day after day for some can be a living martyrdom; practising in every detail the Beatitudes is often a daily cross. But there is no detour to holiness; Jesus came to resurrection through the cross,

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

Youth and Heroism By Archbishop Fulton Sheen* Our Age has been characterized as one in which rock and sports stars represent the major attraction of the youths, rather than heroes and saints. This is not the fault of youths, but the fault of their elders. The world is suffering from the nemesis of mediocrity. Past ages have had their exceptional men who strove toward absolute morality. In the natural order there were the sages of Greece, the Arahants of Buddhism, and in the supernatural order, the prophets of Israel and the saints of Christianity. Most people are followers, not leaders. In fact, the more rapid the methods of communication, the more numerous will be the imitators. As Toynbee has said, the great masses are generally uncreative; Marxism uses them as means of exploitation to put their leaders in power. The great inspirations of society come from the creative minority; it has been so since Pentecost when there were only 120 followers ready to receive the Spirit of redemption.

was a matter of precepts, commands and codes and that man has within himself the strength to do anything. His passion, his proneness to error and his egotism- all these can be mastered by his own efforts. Want of sanctity and morality was, in his opinion, due to ignorance. Our Divine Lord startled him out of his low concept of goodness by asking: “Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone”. Our Lord did not decline the designation of good except in the superficial sense in which it was used. He wanted the youth to weigh His orders well and to know the source of all goodness. Only God is Perfect Goodness: if therefore, He who was speaking is not God, then he is not goodness. It was a tremendous alternative, one that must be faced by those who think that Christ was only a good man. If He is not all God in the Archbishop Fulton Sheen

When so little inspiration is given to youth, when the ideals of goodness in modern society demand so little effort, it might be well to realize that there are standards so very absolute as to be attainable only with the greatest of heroism. On one occasion a wealthy young man, high in political life and enjoying repute in his community, came to Our Divine Lord, saying: “Master, who are so good, what must I do to achieve eternal life?” The youth assumed that he could do anything good if it were only pointed out to him. To him, morality

The Light of the World

flesh, then He is not good. For one thing, good men do not lie. If Christ is not all He claimed to be, then let no one call Him Good. Our Lord also cut at the root of all self-achieved goodness by tracing it to its source. If God is the only true Good, then the aid to perform good works must come from Him. The young man said that he had obeyed the commandments. But this to Christ was not perfection. Our Lord, fastening His eyes on him, conceived a love for him; in one thing, He said you are still wanting. ‘if you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me’. “When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions”. The love of Christ toward the youth was severe; it refused to pare down moral requirements to make discipleship easier, it touched the selling of financial security with a lance that called for the surrender of his wealth. When the offering was made, then he would be in contact with the fountain of goodness, and have eternal life.

It is well for those who have watered down Christianity into a comfortable lounge chair and humanistic morality, to realize that its ideals are still higher than we are willing to admit and that there are hundreds of thousands in the world who are still following them. Every human heart knows, like this youth, that there is something wanting in it. Many there are indeed who, like this young man, will walk away sad when they hear of the heroic requirements. But our mistake is not to give the youth a chance to know the heroic. Greater is the potential for holiness and goodness in youth than is generally recognized. The revolutionary character of youth today is a protest against the elders for not giving them at least a chance to hear the ideals of Perfect Goodness. Modern youth is sad not because he refuses to follow them, but because he does not even hear them. * Adapted from: Fulton J. Sheen ‘Thoughts for Daily Living’ St. Pauls, New York 2008

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

The Extraordinary Adventure: Real Love is the gift of ourselves to one another By Fr. James V. Schall, S. J.* “And this journey of coming to know God, of loving relationship with God is the extraordinary adventure of our Christian life; for in Christ we know the face of God, the face of God that loves us even unto the Cross, unto the gift of himself.” - Benedict XVI, “True Freedom,” Discourse at St. John at the Lateran, February 20, 2009.

I When the Holy Father visited the Major

Roman Seminary in February 2009 he delivered an insightful discourse based on Galatians 5:13-16. This passage contains another of those profound short glimpses in Paul that illuminates everything else by explaining the most basic concepts: on this occasion “freedom”. Freedom, in its meaning, is perhaps the most perplexing enigma to the modern mind, the one principle, when abused, that causes more hurt to others than any other single idea once its essence is misunderstood.

of one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another take heed that you are not consumed by one another. But I say walk in the Spirit, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5: 13-16)

II As I read that passage in the Pope’s

citation of it, I kept thinking that these words about “biting and devouring one another” reminded me of something. As I thought of it, I said: “This is Hobbes!” This is implicitly his famous phrase, “Homo homini lupus est,” from the Leviathan. “Man is a wolf to man” is Hobbes’ description of the condition of human nature in its original form. Paul himself juxtaposes this “biting one another” over against the law that is fulfilled in one word. The Pope begins with a brief history of the idea of freedom. “Since the beginning and throughout all time—but especially in the modern age—freedom has been the great dream of humanity.” The question, however, is: “Freedom from or for what?”

The passage in St. Paul reads: “For you were called to freedom, brethren, only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants

The Light of the World

Freedom for freedom’s own sake hardly seems coherent, since my freedom can mean its opposite tomorrow if there is only freedom. By itself it seems to be vague and limitless. The freedom of yesterday is denied today. Nothing is stable. There is no place of rest, only constant change. Benedict mentions that Luther was inspired by this passage in Galatians. He concluded that “the monastic Rule, the hierarchy, the Magisterium seemed to him as a yoke of slavery from which it was necessary to liberate oneself.” Liberty next shows up in the Enlightenment, which considered that it had finally reached real freedom. At this point, Benedict comes to his main point. “We ask ourselves this evening: What is freedom? How can we be free?” These are classic questions without the asking of which we cannot really be rational beings. Paul is a help in putting this idea into an “anthropological and theological” context. Freedom is not, Paul says, to be used as an excuse for “self-indulgence.” Its proper meaning is that we should choose to serve others in love. The usage of the word “flesh” in Scripture always has to be clarified. Rejecting the “flesh” does not mean that “I am really sorry I have a body.” The whole greatness of Christianity is only understood when we see the glory of “the Word made flesh.” We are intended to be and are enfleshed beings. This is what we are. All being is good, including what we are. Rather in St. Paul, “flesh” can be a technical word that means “the absolutisation of self, of the self that wants to be all and to

take all for its own.” In its own way, this very absolutisation was what the Fall in Genesis was about, the desire to have no other law but one’s own will, to be oneself the cause of the distinction between good and evil, as the name of the Tree in the Garden indicated. Benedict, in further explanation of what this “self” means, lapses, as it were, into German philosophy. “The absolute ‘I’ who depends on nothing and on no one seems to possess freedom truly and definitively. I am free if I depend on no one, if I can do anything I want.” But is this latter sort of freedom that attractive? “This absolutisation of the ‘I’ is ‘flesh,’ that is, a degradation of man. It is not the conquest of freedom: libertinism is not freedom, but rather freedom’s failure.” Such blunt passages remind us that we have a Pope who knows exactly what we are talking about and where we got the ideas we think so radical or new. If everything serves me, if everything centres on me, on my “I”, and if everyone else does the same, how can this possibly be anything but a radical isolation of everyone from everyone else?

III So what is the alternative? What

is a better understanding of freedom? Following Paul, Benedict says that freedom is “achieved in service. We are free if we become servants of one another.” That is, we do not sit around waiting for everyone else to acknowledge his respective “I”. Rather we see what we can do for someone else. We soften things.

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

At this point, Benedict brings in the question of truth to be the context of this love and service. If we really think our own “I” is absolute, we make ourselves almost divine. “I alone am the man.” Again, if everyone says this of himself, but not of others, we have a world full of “I alones.” That is a terrible thought, for sure, “a deception.” We principally deceive ourselves about ourselves, the worst kind of deception. We “lie” to ourselves about ourselves, as Plato put it. “Man is not an absolute, as if the ‘I’ can isolate itself and behave only according to his own will.” Benedict almost seems to tell us, “Try it and see.” But we can see others who have tried it. The sight is not pretty. We do not really need to try it out just to see if absolute selfishness is really that bad. It is. To think that “I” am an absolute determiner of everything about me is “contrary to the truth of our being.” What then is this “truth of our being?” This is a great question. The response is: “Our truth is that above all we are creatures, creatures of God, and we live in relationship with the Creator. We are relational beings.” It is worthwhile noting that in the Trinity, the existence of the three Persons is “relational.” The one being in three divine persons has its reflection here. We are intended to be friends together. Since it is true that we are in principle “relational beings,” it follows that only “by accepting our responsibility can we enter into the truth.” The truth is that the kind of beings we are is not solitary, even if we try to make it so. Self-deception means that we convince ourselves that we are autonomous, that we need only ourselves.

Since we are “created” that “being created” defines what we are. We really do not establish what we are by ourselves. We find it already existing in us. But God is not a tyrant. He is essentially a “good Being.” The only reason why we exist is not because God “needed” us to complete himself, since he didn’t. He made us out of the generosity of his love. This love caused to be what was not God. It did so out of the abundance of his being, not out of his need. From these premises three points follow: The first is, “To be a creature means to be loved by a Creator.” We are created to love. The second is to know God is to enter first into His “truth.” That is, we must know our grounding in being as not creating ourselves. The “extraordinary adventure of our Christian life” begins here. This is a remarkable sentence. The adventure is rooted in the love and service of another, not ourselves. How far does such love potentially go to? To the Cross, this is based in the “gift of oneself.” Love of God also implies that we are made in his image. Loving him means also loving what he has created. “There is no freedom in opposing the other.” When I become the sole interest of my deeds, I am not free to love another. “We can no longer live together and the whole of life becomes cruelty...” The final point is that “only in the acceptance of the other, accepting also the apparent limitations on my freedom that derive from respect for that of the other ... am I on the path to communal freedom.” We understand that “We see that man needs order, laws so that he can

The Light of the World

realise his freedom which is a freedom lived in common.” This “freedom lived in common” is by no means an “absolute” freedom of the self to do whatever it wants. “If there is no common truth of man as it appears in the vision of God, only positivism remains.” The only remaining reality is what we “posit” ourselves. Any truth in this context of our making our own laws will seem as something imposed from the outside. Freedom can now appear as rebellion against existing laws. The order of our nature, however, already exists within us. With order and law, we can resist selfishness. “To serve one another becomes the instrument of freedom and hence we could add a whole philosophy of politics ... which helps us to find this common order that gives each one his place in the common life of humanity.” Politics is the locus, the place

of law and order where freedom to serve others and hence to be ourselves related to others is possible. This is what Aristotle’s man is “by nature a political animal” ultimately means.

IV “The first reality meriting respect,

therefore, is the truth: freedom opposed to truth is not freedom.” The Pope adds something here that is not often considered. Authority is presented in the New Testament as not “being served” but as “serving,” serving others. This understanding leads him to say that “to serve one another creates the common space of freedom.” Benedict does not say just “serve another,” but “serve one another.” It is this reciprocity that provides the space, the relationship. This realisation is why the “whole law” is contained in this one principle, “to love thy neighbour as thyself.” Behind this affirmation appears the mystery of God Incarnate. Here is the mystery of Christ who in his life, in his death, in his Resurrection becomes the living law. This is the “law” to which we are called “in freedom.” The freedom refers to what Christ has stood for and taught us. If baptism means, as it does, the participation in “the death and Resurrection” of Christ, it teaches us that our freedom is, in principle, “sacrificial.” It is not just for ourselves but for laying down our lives for our friends, even for our enemies. Benedict cites the famous Latin saying of Augustine that reads, “Love God, and do what you will”—”Ama, et fac quod vis.” He adds that Augustine speaks the truth

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

if we know the extent of what this “love” means. The “divine law” that guides our will is precisely this law of love. It means serving one another. This is the truth of our being. The French writer and wit, Rabelais, once put on the door of his famous monastery of unruly monks the following motto: “Fac quod vis.” This motto, of course, was intended as a parody of Augustine’s “Ama, et fac quod vis.” One can say that Rabelais’ dropping of the “ama,” the love, so that we do whatever we will, whatever it is, brings out precisely the Pope’s point. The doing what we want, whatever it is, absolutises ourselves. The “love” and “do what we wish” means rather that we serve one another, that the reciprocity of love that gives its space of freedom and limits it to what it is for.

We wish to let God’s will be done. And thus what God is becomes incarnate. It dwells amongst us in the “flesh,” as John said. This is why Mary is central, for without her “Fiat,” this incarnation as we know it could not have happened. To be ourselves, we must let ourselves be more than ourselves.

V Benedict then returns to the Pauline

phrase that reminds us of Hobbes, about “biting and devouring one another.” Beware of being “consumed” by one another. Homo homini lupus. “You have become wild beasts to one another.” The Pope in this context warns us of a spirit in which everyone wants to be “better than everyone else.” This attitude leads to a community with exactly the opposite of the spirit to that which should suffuse the Church. “The great space of truth and freedom in love” opens before us when we see that the love we are to live is the sacrificial love that Christ showed us in his death and resurrection. Often in modern philosophy we see references to the importance of the human face. We want to see one another “face to face.” Paul even says that we want to see God “face to face.” Love seeks the face of the beloved. Everyone knows that. But sometimes we wonder, “Why?” It is because we do not want to live in the terrible loneliness of ourselves alone. One of the classic definitions of hell is precisely this understanding of man who is totally autonomous, totally absolute, totally himself such that nothing else matters to him. At first sight it seems absurd to talk of seeking the face of God. Yet, as Benedict

The Light of the World

puts it, God has “shown us his face in Christ.” We see this face in our Scriptures. It is not an abstraction any longer. “This is eternal life: to know you, the one true god, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent,” as John put it. Basil the Great wrote, in one of his homilies, “Here is man’s greatness, here is man’s glory and majesty: to know in truth what is great, to hold fast to it, and to seek glory from the Lord of glory.” “And this journey of coming to know God, of loving relationship with God is the extraordinary adventure of our Christian life, for in Christ we know the face of God, that loves us even unto the Cross, unto the gift of himself.” The extraordinary adventure does not begin when we place ourselves at the centre. It begins when we serve others. And we serve them best, as Basil said, when we “know in truth what is great.” We know what is great when we see the face of him who died on the Cross, when we realise that in this act he was defining our freedom, our truth, and our glory.

We only become ourselves when we do not absolutise ourselves. When there is only ourselves, we can have no adventure. A life with no adventure, no adventure in loving others, serving them, is, to use a famous phrase of Socrates, “not worth living.” Indeed, when we try it, it is not living at all. We soon find that we can indeed, with Rabelais’ monks, “do what we will.” But, in the same act, we also find that we love nothing but ourselves, the most boring kind of love that anyone can imagine. The patroness of the Major Seminary of St. John’s at the Lateran is “Our Lady of Trust.” All real love is based on trust, on promise, on the gift of ourselves to one another. This is the “extraordinary adventure.” If we do not actually experience it in trust and love, we really are not human in the kind of being that is given to us, the kind that constitutes what we are. * Adapted from Schall S.J. Fr. James Ignatius Insight 2nd April 2009.

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

“Look to the Future with Hope”

exist only to support and foster the deeper unity which, in Christ, is God’s indefectible gift to his Church.

By Pope Benedict XVI*

…It is a visible unity, grounded in the Apostles whom Christ chose and appointed as witnesses to his resurrection, and it is born of what the Scriptures call “the obedience of faith” (Rom 1:5; cf. Acts 6:7).

Jesus tells his Apostles to put their faith in him, for he is “the way and the truth and the life” (Jn 14:6). Christ is the way that leads to the Father, the truth which gives meaning to human existence, and the source of that life which is eternal joy with all the saints in his heavenly Kingdom. ….

“Authority”, “obedience”, to be frank, these are not easy words to speak nowadays. Words like these represent a “stumbling stone” for many of our contemporaries, especially in a society which rightly places The Acts of the Apostles, speaks of a high value on personal freedom. Yet, in linguistic and cultural tensions already the light of our faith in Jesus Christ - “the present within the earliest Church way and the truth and the life” - we come community. At the same time, it shows the to see the fullest meaning, value, and power of the word of God, authoritatively indeed beauty, of those words. The Gospel proclaimed by the Apostles and received teaches us that true freedom, the freedom in faith, to create a unity which transcends of the children of God, is found only in the the divisions arising from human limitations self-surrender which is part of the mystery and weakness. Here we are reminded of a of love. Only by losing ourselves, the Lord fundamental truth: that the Church’s unity tells us, do we truly find ourselves (cf. Lk has no other basis than the Word of God, 17:33). True freedom blossoms when we made flesh in Christ Jesus our Lord. All turn away from the burden of sin, which external signs of identity, all structures, clouds our perceptions and weakens associations and programs, valuable or our resolve, and find the source of our even essential as they may be, ultimately ultimate happiness in him Pope Benedict XVI who is infinite love, infinite celebrating Mass at Yankee freedom, infinite life. “In Stadium, New York. his will is our peace”. Real freedom, then, is God’s gracious gift, the fruit of conversion to his truth, the truth which makes us free (cf. Jn 8:32). And this freedom in truth brings in its wake a new and liberating way of seeing reality. When we

The Light of the World

put on “the mind of Christ” (cf. Phil 2:5), new horizons open before us. In the light of faith, within the communion of the Church, we also find the inspiration and strength to become a leaven of the Gospel in the world. We become the light of the world, the salt of the earth (cf. Mt 5:13-14), entrusted with the “apostolate” of making our own lives, and the world in which we live, conform ever more fully to God’s saving plan. This magnificent vision of a world being transformed by the liberating truth of the Gospel is reflected in the description of the Church found in chapter 2 of the first letter of Peter (see below). Here the Apostle tells us that Christ, risen from the dead, is the keystone of a great temple which is even now rising in the Spirit. And we, the members of his body, through Baptism have become “living stones” in that temple, sharing in the life of God by grace, blessed with the freedom of the sons of God, and empowered to offer spiritual sacrifices pleasing to him (cf. 1 Pet 2:5). And what is this offering which we are called to make, if not to direct our every thought, word and action to the truth of the Gospel and to harness all our energies in the service of God’s Kingdom? Only in this way can we build with God, on the one foundation which is Christ (cf. 1 Cor 3:11). Only in this way can we build something that will truly endure. Only in this way can our lives find ultimate meaning and bear lasting fruit. ...“You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people he claims for his own, to proclaim his glorious works” (1 Pet 2:9). These words of the Apostle Peter do not simply remind us of the

dignity which is ours by God’s grace; they also challenge us to an ever greater fidelity to the glorious inheritance which we have received in Christ (cf. Eph 1:18). They challenge us to examine our consciences, to purify our hearts, to renew our baptismal commitment to reject Satan and all his empty promises. They challenge us to be a people of joy, heralds of the unfailing hope (cf. Rom 5:5) born of faith in God’s word, and trust in his promises. Each day,…you and so many of your neighbours pray to the Father in the Lord’s own words: “Thy Kingdom come”. This prayer needs to shape the mind and heart of every Christian… It needs to bear fruit in the way you lead your lives and in the way you build up your families and your communities. It needs to create new “settings of hope” (cf. Spe Salvi, 32ff.) where God’s Kingdom becomes present in all its saving power.

Praying fervently for the coming of the Kingdom also means • being constantly alert for the signs of its presence, and working for its growth in every sector of society; • facing the challenges of present and future with confidence in Christ’s victory and a commitment to extending his reign; • not losing heart in the face of resistance, adversity and scandal; • overcoming every separation between faith and life, and countering false gospels of freedom and happiness;

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

• rejecting a false dichotomy between faith and political life, since, as the Second Vatican Council put it, “there is no human activity -- even in secular affairs -- which can be withdrawn from God’s dominion” (Lumen Gentium, 36); • working to enrich …society and culture with the beauty and truth of the Gospel, and never losing sight of that great hope which gives meaning and value to all the other hopes which inspire our lives. And this, dear friends, is the particular challenge which the Successor of Saint Peter sets before you today. As “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation”, • follow faithfully in the footsteps of those who have gone before you, • hasten the coming Kingdom in this land.

God’s

Past generations have left you an

Pope Benedict XVI at Yankee Stadium, New York.

impressive legacy. Also in our day, the Catholic community has been outstanding • in its prophetic witness • in the defence of life, • in the education of the young, • in care for the poor, the sick and the stranger in your midst. On these solid foundations, the future of the Church must rise. Young people moved by the joy, the hope and the generous love of Christ are the Church’s future, and they deserve all the prayer and support that you can give them. And so I wish to close by adding a special word of encouragement to them. My dear young friends, like the seven men, “filled with the Spirit and wisdom” whom the Apostles charged with care for the young Church, may you step forward and take up the responsibility which your faith in Christ sets before you! May you find the courage to proclaim Christ, “the same, yesterday, and today and for ever” and the unchanging truths which have their foundation in him (cf. Gaudium et Spes, 10; Heb 13:8). These are the truths that set us free! They are the truths which alone can guarantee respect for the inalienable dignity and rights of each man, woman and child in our world - including the most defenceless of all human beings, the unborn child in the mother’s womb. In a world where, Lazarus continues to stand at our door let your faith and love bear rich fruit in outreach to the poor, the needy and those without a voice. Young men and women of the World, I urge you: open your hearts to the Lord’s call to follow him in the priesthood and the religious life. Can

The Light of the World

there be any greater mark of love than this: to follow in the footsteps of Christ, who was willing to lay down his life for his friends (cf. Jn 15:13)? Dear friends, only God in his providence knows what works his grace has yet to bring forth in your lives and in the life of the Church in the United States. Yet Christ’s promise fills us with sure hope. Let us now join our prayers to his, as living stones in that spiritual temple which is his one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. Let us lift our eyes to him, for even now he is preparing for us a place in his Father’s house. And empowered by his Holy Spirit, let us work with renewed zeal for the spread of his Kingdom.

“Happy are you who believe!” (cf. 1 Pet 2:7). Let us turn to Jesus! He alone is the way that leads to eternal happiness, the truth who satisfies the deepest longings of every heart, and the life who brings ever new joy and hope, to us and to our world. Amen. * Adapted from Pope Benedict’s Homily, Yankee Stadium, New York City, USA 20th April 2008.

1 Peter 2: 4-10: ‘Called out of darkness into His marvellous light. 4 Come to him, to that living stone, rejected by men but in God’s sight chosen and precious; 5 and like living stones be yourselves built into a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For it stands in scripture: “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and he who believes in him will not be put to shame.” 7 To you therefore who believe, he is precious, but for those who do not believe, “The very stone which the builders rejected has become the head of the corner,” 8 and “A stone that will make men stumble, a rock that will make them fall”; for they stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do. 9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, that you may declare the wonderful deeds of him who called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

The Conversion of St. Paul: Seeing the Light, obeying the Voice By Anthony Lilles, S.T.D.* Toward the beginning of the 13th century, Pope Innocent III promulgated the universal observance of the solemnity of the Conversion of St. Paul. In doing so, he may have been confirming the grace of conversion at work in his day. Eight centuries ago, a profound grace washed over the Church and because people responded in faith, the Lord accomplished what no one could have anticipated. It was the time of Francis and Dominic and many other great saints whose personal conversions transformed

history. Our own observance and understanding of this solemnity continues to open us to this same grace of renewal today. The grace of Christ does the unimaginable. That is why we must never lose hope in Him. Along these lines, Paul was a most improbable apostle - and history shows time and again the best servants of God always are. It is the unexpected encounter with Christ that makes all the difference. In a his homily for this solemnity, connecting Paul’s unthinkable conversion to his personal encounter, Pope Benedict XVI explained, “the relentless persecutor of God’s Church suddenly found himself blind and groping in the dark, but henceforth with a great light in his heart.” Saul of Tarsus, the Apostle’s Jewish name, was driven by his love for Israel and the dream of a restored Kingdom, a dream he believed could only be realized through a purified observance of the Law. This background brings into relief the reason Saul was travelling from Jerusalem to Damascus. Fearing that the followers of Jesus were spreading to the Jewish communities outside of Judea, he had obtained permission to capture and bring them back to Jerusalem for imprisonment. But his encounter with the Risen Lord would change everything. The encounter involved a mysterious blinding Light from heaven and a Voice of Someone whom, although unknown to him, Saul addresses as “Lord” and obeys in love. The Light and the Voice evoked Paul’s faith. This grace grew as he continued to live obedient to the Lord,

The Light of the World

an important theme of his own teaching. Reflecting on the meaning of the Light and the Voice brings into focus aspects of the primacy of grace in the mission of the Church today. The Light of Christ helped Paul see how blind he was. To see the light - to know the truth - is the beginning of conversion, which is always a turning to a new life of love: love of God and love of neighbour. To turn back to the Lord, back to the truth, requires that we first see we are wrong. Until we know we are wrong, we cannot search for what is right. This conversion causing Light is witnessed to by a vast array of saints, including St. Augustine who asserts: “All who know the truth know this Light, and all who know this Light know eternity. It is the Light that charity knows.” Similarly, just as the Light blinds him and helps him see, the Voice of Christ questions Saul, answering him and commanding him. Hearing and obedience are linked together in faith—at least this is the experience of Augustine, Francis and Dominic. To believe in Jesus means to obey his voice as it speaks in our hearts or through others the Lord sends to us. Here, a hauntingly beautiful aspect of Christ’s voice can be appreciated. In each statement to Saul, Jesus completely identifies himself with the Church, “Why do you persecute me?”

Saul discovered through his obedience to the voice of the Lord that the relationship between Christ and his Church is such that to really encounter one is to encounter the other. Though the Eternal Light blinded him, the prayer of the Church restored his sight and gave him the gift of the Holy Spirit. These events suggest an ecclesial dimension of grace: our encounter with the Lord is never private, but leads to a communion of love. St. Paul’s conversion points to the surprising gift of grace by which alone we come to know Christ and the Church. It shows God’s plan for accomplishing his work and changing the world. This connection between Paul’s encounter and the grace which continues to invite our faith is at the heart of the Church’s liturgical celebration. As it was with the saints who came before us, changing the world begins with our own conversion-a conversion that takes place every time we see the Light and obey his Voice. * Anthony Lilles, S.T.D., was academic dean at St. John Vianney Theological Seminary, Denver, Colorado

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

Kathleen’s Conversion Story: ‘Thank God I made it Home’ I remember it clearly. My husband and I decided to leave the Church, and we invited his Catholic parents over to justify ourselves. It was 1990 and we recently had our first son. With him on my hip, I stood in front of my mother-in-law and addressed the topic of abortion. Acerbic and ignorant, I asked, “Who does the Catholic Church think they are, telling me I can’t have an abortion if I want one?” My in-laws were terror-stricken. They tried to explain the Faith and thought we should

talk to a priest, but our minds were made up. The Devil had won. How else could I have held the life from my own womb, and argue that I should be able to abort “it” if I wanted to? And why else would I have been glad that my son would not have to bear the burdens of being female? (I did not know the dignity and joy of being a woman.) The dichotomy of that scene alarms me now, but from our misinformed view of the world, our thinking could not have been different. We were enslaved by the insidious messages of the secular world. We hit all the hot-button topics of our generation, fulminating that “Women should be allowed to be priests. Gay couples should be able to live together and raise children. Confession is unnecessary. The idea that the Pope ‘is king,’ is archaic and ridiculous, and by the way, “Who is he to say we can’t have premarital sex or use birth control?” My in-laws were disheartened to see us leave the Catholic Church for a Protestant one, but we were in “heaven”. This Protestant congregation allowed women to preach, gay couples to live together, and anyone to receive “communion” any time, i.e. there was no confession. They did not (overtly) oppose abortion, and they were more hospitable. Our vagrant souls could not have wanted anything more –

The Light of the World

until that routine became too inconvenient and we stopped going to church again. After my second son, I had an unexpected revolt against contraception. I knew something was wrong. Perhaps my pregnancies and births awakened the womanhood within me. My husband wanted a vasectomy, but I would not agree. Nor would I agree to go back on the pill. The strain in our relationship loomed with oppression. Simultaneously, my struggle with postpartum depression lingered on into major depression. With serious illness at our relatively young age, disagreement about our sex life, and no conjugal faith to draw upon, our nine-year marriage ended in divorce. I was resentful about being a mother who lacked emotional stamina and knowhow for fulfilling that role. I was also limited in my caretaking abilities due to my depression. So we agreed our sons should live with their father. I was deeply torn about being the noncustodial parent. How could I, the mother, “give my children away?” Logically, I could, because they were going to their father, who loved them deeply and could take care of them better than I could. Emotionally however, I could not come to terms with it. Like my own father, I eventually felt that life was not worth living. I ruminated about suicide many times. I made different plans. I even acted on one of them. Contrary to my father though, I overcame that ultimate act of escapism. I finally took God’s hand, and when I did, He poured graces upon me. Along with

leading me to outstanding medical help, he led me back to the Catholic Church. My life has never been the same. Ironically, a Unitarian friend was God’s first catalyst in my return. Seeing how distraught I was after my divorce, she suggested I regroup at the Guest House of a local Abbey. I had no idea what an Abbey was, but I did know this one had affordable rates in a serene location. While I was there, the few-but-oh-soprecious seeds, planted during my barren Catholic upbringing, came out of dormancy. They began to grow when I realized I was on Catholic ground. I had a sudden panic to get information on annulments. For the first time, I realized my part in my marriage was not right in the eyes of God. Somehow I knew the annulment process was the key to my healing. I asked one of the priests about it. That led to in-depth catechesis where we unraveled the ignorance, sinfulness, and confusion I had about contraception, freedom to marry, abortion, the value and dignity of life, motherhood, the dignity of being a woman, and more. I experienced a tremendous release of guilt, shame and confusion - I was coming home. On October 7, 1997, the Feast of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary, I was formally received back into the Catholic Church. It was the foundation of my conversion, but not the end of it. The seeds of faith from my childhood continued to grow as I was catechized, spiritually directed, and guided in the practice of the Faith.

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

I no longer support the use of contraception – and now I know why. I no longer approve of abortion, and my sons clearly know my views on premarital sex and practicing purity in preparation for marriage. I defend the Church’s teaching about the priesthood being reserved for men only. (My Unitarian friend even came to see the light on that topic.) The act of gay couples living together and raising families is no longer acceptable in my eyes. I have been blessed to have my irreverent attitudes removed. I no longer say “I can connect with God any time, so I don’t have to go to Mass.” Instead, I draw upon the advice of my spiritual director - “Don’t say ‘I have to go to Mass;’ say ‘I get to go to Mass.” And that I do. I now go to Sunday and daily Mass. I am the founder and coordinator of an annual walkathon for expectant mothers in need of support for giving birth to their children. This year, we reached the grand total mark of $13,000. My relationships with my family, friends, and God, are strong. The rosary is one of the most important tools I have, and I pray it almost every day. I am a Benedictine Oblate at the Abbey where it all began. I no longer work in the corporate world, where I found it difficult to act morally. I work at the Abbey as a baker and I do some publicity work for them.

I no longer see depression as a sign of failure. Instead, I view it as a manageable medical condition that has redemptive value when I unite it to Christ on the Cross. Suicide is never on my mind, and the Memorial Bible my family received when my Dad died on my birthday, has become another important tool. The process to obtain a Decree of Nullity brought the healing and growth I anticipated. The Magisterium’s wisdom shined through in that area. My sons and I are emotionally close, and I love being their mother. I am a Roman Catholic woman with no desire to be anything else. Christ replaced my hopelessness and disconnects with His joy and spiritual integration. The life I literally thought was hell, has become a foretaste of heaven. “Thanks be to God. He brought me home.”

The Light of the World

Lead Kindly Light Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom, lead Thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead Thou me on! Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene; one step enough for me. I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou shouldst lead me on; I loved to choose and see my path; but now lead Thou me on! I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years! So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on. O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till the night is gone, And with the morn those angel faces smile, which I Have loved long since, and lost awhile! Meantime, along the narrow rugged path, Thyself hast trod, Lead, Saviour, lead me home in childlike faith, home to my God. To rest forever after earthly strife In the calm light of everlasting life. By Bl. John Henry Newman (1801-1890)

Aid to the Church in Need helping the church heal the world

Thank you from Aid to the Church in Need (ACN) Each year thanks to the • Donations • Legacies and • Mass offerings of its benefactors in Ireland and around the world ACN is able to • Provide sustenance and the means of survival for c. 20,000 Priests • Support c. 18,000 Seminarians and Religious and • Distribute c. 1.5 million catechetical books for children in 160 languages. Heartfelt thanks for all your prayers and support provided to Christ’s suffering and persecuted Church. May the Good Lord continue to bless you and your family, past and present, now and always.

J F Declan Quinn Director Aid to the Church in Need (Ireland)

The Light of the World

The Communion of Saints (from the wall of the Sistine Chapel) Michelangelo (1475 - 1564)

Aid to the Church in Need www.acnirl.org

•••• II