Parentlife

parentlife

“HOW COME HE GETS MORE ATTENTION THAN ME?”

WITH STACIE GAETZ

Offering Daycare, Full/Half Day Preschool, Full-Day Jr.K, Full-Day Kindergarten and Grades 1-8 in Airdrie

● Small Class Sizes ● Private & Accredited ● Alberta Education Certified ● Hockey & Sports Training ● Before & After School Care

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Sibling/family discounts ● Summer Camps/Childcare

PHONE: EMAIL: WEB

403-912-1133 enrolment@atlaslearningacademy.com atlaslearningacademy.com

Join us for drop-in sessions or register for a class. All ages are welcome!

If you are the parent of a neurodivergent child, you know how much of your time and energy they can require.

This can leave you with little left over to give to your other neurotypical child(ren).

As a parent, you want to treat your children fairly and give them the same amount of love and attention, but caring for one child that is hyperactive, impulsive and easily distracted demands more of you than the average child.

This is something I struggle with regarding my four-year-old son, who has ADHD and sensory processing sensitivities, and his older, neurotypical sister.

As a family, we work every day to find a balance. We have definitely not perfected it but there are a few things I have found that help to even the playing field:

Flip it around. It can help to point out the good traits of their sibling, rather than focus on their weaknesses: “Yes your brother can be frustrating, but he is also really silly and he makes us laugh, right? Remember that time when he… (example)?”

One-on-one time with both kids is crucial. It is incredibly important that we make an intentional effort to spend time with my daughter on her own doing whatever she wants at least once a day (usually when my son has gone to bed). We also create fun mommy/daddy/daughter dates about once every month.

Avoid problem situations. For us, this means separating the kids during times when they fight (right after dinner) and making sure any restaurants we go to have quick service.

Help them understand. Take the time to explain the complicated feelings they are experiencing. Children do not intrinsically know that it is possible to feel both love and anger towards their sibling. Tell them that you understand they love their brother or sister but that doesn’t make it easier to tolerate behaviour that makes them angry/hurts them. Give them options to cope such as ignoring unwanted behaviours and coming to you for help.

Check in. Every day or two ask your neurotypical child how they are doing (when you are with them by themselves) and see if they need anything from you to help with their sibling.

Acknowledge the good. Just like you do with your neurodivergent child, it is important to “catch them being good.” Saying things like:

“Thanks for being patient with your brother when he was upset” makes them want to behave this way more often. life