Office Attiqetues - Articles

11 WAYS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE AT WORK No matter what you do for a living, it probably seems as though there just aren't enough hours in the day. Well, guess what? There aren't enough hours in the day. But successful guys make the most their working hours by working smart.

Here are some tips to help you work smarter.

1- Prioritize your tasks This is an ongoing task in itself. What is more important? Is a client waiting on your proposal to renew the contract? Prioritize your tasks based on ROI (Return On Investment).

Any guy can do this, but the trick is to know how. If you like schedules, make a calendar on a weekly or monthly basis. If you prefer lists, then maybe creating a priority list at the start of each day is the answer. Having priorities and knowing what they are will help you to meet goals, but more than that, they will insure that you focus on the things that will make you a star.

2- Leave at a specific time If you know you're leaving at 5 p.m. sharp, you're likely to work more efficiently. There's just something about deadlines that makes us thrive. If you say that you'll leave work when you're finished, you'll likely run into two problems. First, with so much to do, how will you know if you're finished? Second, with no specified quitting time, you'll procrastinate. Setting a deadline helps you rise to the occasion and determine what's really important.

3- Plan the phone calls Set some time aside to get all of your phone calls out of the way. Phone tag is a waste of time, and taking calls while you're in the middle of something else can derail a productive project. Instead, think about when you're best able to reach various people and call them then. Don't forget to consider time zones and the calling habits of those you're trying to reach. Of course, you can't be too rigid about this; sometimes you need to pick up the phone. But you can prioritize. And you should always return all calls by the end of the day because having a stack of calls to return the next morning will quickly ruin any schedule you set up.

4- Deal with things immediately If something comes up and you can deal with it in a couple of minutes, then do it right away.

There's no point in postponing it. But remember; this tip only works for smaller things like fielding an inquiry from a client. Under no circumstances should you begin projects this way; you'll never get anything done.

5- Keep your desk clutter-free If you don't need it handy or you don't need it at all, it's slowing you down. Organize all your files so that you don't waste time looking for documents. Do the same for your e-mail inbox.

Get rid of excess files and folders. As a rule, if you use it once a day or more, it can stay.

Otherwise, pack it away.

6- Set your own working schedule Not all guys work the same. Maybe you're a morning person, in which case you should do the heavy lifting then because that's when you'll be at your best. If that's the case, then you'll want to save the more mundane tasks for the afternoon, when you're more likely to be on autopilot. The key is to know your strengths and maximize them.

7- Streamline recurring tasks There are some tasks that you can do in your sleep. But those are the ones to reconsider. Are you performing them efficiently? Schedule those tasks when you know you'll have a lull and make sure that you're performing them without any superfluous steps. One way to make sure you work without waste is to watch a coworker perform the same task; you'd be amazed at what you can pick up by watching the other guy.

8- Have a running to-do list This is a good way to ensure you always have something to do and don't waste any time looking for your next task. Write all your upcoming tasks on this list. At the end of the day, prepare a to-do list for the following day so that you can start working as soon as you get to the office. Keep the list handy and be sure to cross out tasks that you've finished; you'll find satisfaction in knowing that something is complete.

9- Centralize all your information Don't waste time jumping from your computer to your e-mail inbox to your PDA. Centralize all pertinent information at one easily accessible source. But no matter where you put that information, make sure you have a backup.

10- Use e-mail vs. phone E-mail is an effective tool, but you have to know how to use it. Using e-mail is preferable when you need to send a statement to someone. When the problem requires dialogue, you'll likely waste time writing. A good example of when to use e-mail rather than the phone is when an issue is more routine, like requesting more office supplies or confirming that the documents you sent were received.

11- Minimize distractions If it's not work, it's a distraction. Avoid hanging out with coworkers by the water cooler.

Check your personal e-mail account only once a day on your break. Set a limited amount of time to surf the Web -- for instance, 10 minutes tops in the morning. Turn your cell phone off if you don't use it for work and check your messages on your own time.

Produce efficiently A lot of guys don't usually put being more productive at work on their priority list. After all, it's hard for work to compete with money, women and sports. But there's a good reason to improve at work.

Yes, you'll be more successful, which will help you get what you want outside of work. But more than that, the more productive your time at work is, the more free time you'll have to focus on other things.

HOW TO RECOVER FROM 9 MAJOR SCREWUPS

Committing career suicide is not always a direct path to unemployment. CLMs -- career limiting moves -- don't have to be fatal errors. It all depends on how you react and how good you are at damage control.

Here are some ways to salvage your career from a major screwup.

1- Overpromising You overpromised and now your client is furious. You missed an important deadline and your colleagues or customers are annoyed. You made commitments on someone else's behalf that made that person look incompetent and your customers are losing patience with the entire company.

How to fix it: Assess the damage before facing the client or your boss, but make sure they hear about it from you , not someone else. Accept responsibility and avoid being defensive.

Focus on correcting the error and getting the project back on track. Offer a new date and some value-added benefit. Involve the customer in resolving the problem and you'll salvage the business relationship.

2- Badmouthing You badmouthed an employer and he finds out about it. You were caught being rude about your employer. You accidentally used the Reply All on your e-mail when you were kidding around with your buddy. Your boss overheard you making derogatory comments about him in a restaurant, at a party or at the photocopier. You were quoted on television criticizing the corporation or the CEO. How to fix it: Apologize. Owning up to it and admitting you were wrong, without trying to excuse yourself, will demonstrate that you are mature, despite your poorly-timed and illadvised comments. If the media was involved or too much damage was done, you may need to offer to resign before you get fired.

3- Breaching confidentiality You used your position for your own benefit, engaging in insider trading and giving stock tips to friends. You shared information you happened to see in a confidential memo or fax.

You fell prey to an unscrupulous reporter and gave a major scoop to the media about a new top-secret product.

How to fix it: Don't try to cover it up. You'll just compound the problem. Avoid blaming a third party or you'll confirm people's opinions that you are weak and cannot be trusted.

Admit your error or call your lawyer -- fast. And be honest with your lawyer. Let him decide what type of spin to put on it.

4- Public meltdowns You had a very vocal verbal confrontation with a co-worker. You shot your mouth off and lost it, swearing, yelling and calling him names. Even if everyone secretly agrees he is an idiot who deserved every word of your tirade, it was inappropriate and unacceptable behavior.

How to fix it: Apologize to the coworker, your boss and any other colleagues that was in the area. Do it without hostility and make sure your body language, tone and expression are contrite. Don't try to explain what happened or justify your anger. You're not reopening the debate for public discussion; you're acknowledging that your handling of a private dispute was unprofessional. This will demonstrate your maturity and reassure people that you are not a loose cannon.

5- Stealing (sort of) You got caught taking care of personal matters during work hours. You used company equipment and supplies for your own extracurricular projects or made lengthy long distance calls to friends in Tanzania. Your expense claim contained a large number of false entries and the auditor has questioned the unscrupulous discrepancies.

How to fix it: Offer to make restitution. Make up the lost time and reimburse the costs.

Avoid saying, "we've always done it," or "everyone else does it." The only things that matter now are your own actions and your errors in judgment -- and how you react. Be regretful and admit your wrongdoing.

6- Behaving badly You crossed the line with an employee, with sexual jokes or innuendo, racist comments or a patronizing attitude. You've been accused of sexual harassment, discrimination or creating a toxic workplace -- even though, in your mind, your actions were completely innocent.

How to fix it: Apologize for your misguided attempt at humor. "I'm sorry you were offended" is sincere. Avoid saying "I'm sorry I offended you," as that could be construed as an admission of guilt and if the issue is pursued in court, it will be used against you. You need to correct the adverse impression without allowing the situation to permanently damage your career.

7- Losing information You lost a confidential document or, worse, your briefcase, PDA or laptop got stolen. You erased crucial information, deleted the database backup or put sensitive paperwork in your curbside recycling without shredding it first.

How to fix it: Admit it to your boss immediately. Try to reconstruct the document. It's extremely rare that only one person has a copy and, with a few extra evenings of unpaid work, you'll be able to restore both the data and confidence in your professionalism. If the competition has been dumpster diving and has gained access to your client list or expansion plans, you may have to fall on your sword and offer your resignation.

8- Inattention to detail You didn't review a document, letter or contract properly before signing it. You miscalculated costs and the overruns are going to jeopardize the project and affect the company's bottom line.

How to fix it: Take quick action and show your willingness to accept the blame. If you've signed a letter offering a client $20,000 when you meant $200, call and use humor about the typo. If you've signed a contract that contains a clause that will adversely impact the corporation, immediately take it to the company lawyer. Trying to correct it without the benefit of legal counsel could be disastrous to your career. On the costing error, be proactive and call your team together to create a strategy to reduce the expenses or develop a way to cross-utilize the equipment, data or resources.

9- Lack of preparation You didn't prepare for a meeting, and found yourself stymied and unable to answer questions from your coworkers or clients. You were called upon for an opinion and you couldn't respond because you failed to do your research in advance.

How to fix it: In this instance, contrary to all the other examples of screwups, my advice is to fake it as best you can. Dropping a line like, "That's a very good question. I'll check into it further and get back to you," can save face and buy you some time. If faking it isn't an option, apologize for your lack of preparation without making any excuses. Offer to relay the information by e-mail, telephone, memo, or in person at a rescheduled meeting.

Follow the golden rules No matter what the problem, if you screw up, come clean and accept responsibility. Take immediate action, prepare a response and avoid blaming others.

It's always best to avoid screwups but if an error occurs, responding promptly, properly and maturely can make a difference. Go from precarious to promotable by demonstrating responsibility, leadership and integrity.

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK From petty disagreements to all out rivalries, nearly all of us know how clashing personalities at work can affect us. But even in the most extreme cases, there's usually a way to deal with that co-worker who always gets under your skin.

If you have to interact with different "characters" in your workplace, follow these tips to deal with them successfully.

The defensive guy We all know "Mr. Perfect" -- he's the guy who can never accept constructive criticism, no matter how you deliver it. He believes his way of doings things is always correct, and nothing you or anyone else can say will ever change his mind.

How to handle him: The best way to approach Mr. Perfect is to give him positive reinforcement before you dish out the negative feedback. Criticize yourself first -- relate to him, and say how you "used to make the same mistake." Avoid definitive words like "never" and "always." And speak collectively, using words like "we" instead of "you." You should also avoid e-mail when you criticize him; doing it in person, face-to-face, will minimize the possibility of a misunderstanding, and will also limit how defensive he can get in response.

The constant arguer You know that guy who speaks up just to hear the sound of his own voice? Of course you do; we all do. This is the guy who will dispute even the most rational points, just to be heard.

He loves to disagree, and always has a problem with what others say.

How to handle him: It might be tempting to put him in his place, but the best thing you can do with a constant arguer is let him finish his points. Don't interrupt him -- let him get it all out. When he's finished, voice your opinions. Instead of fueling the fire, make your thoughts heard, and the more rational point will always win over. Agree to disagree if you need to. And above all else, always keep your cool.

The "me" guy This is the guy who epitomizes ego. He has an inflated sense of himself, and believes that everything always revolves around his needs. He takes credit for everything, regardless of whether or not he actually deserves it, especially when it comes to team projects. The egoobsessed co-worker also believes his problems are always bigger and more important than everyone else's.

How to handle him: Keeping up with the "me" guy will take a little extra effort on your part. It's important that you keep your manager aware of your worth and contribution, especially with team projects. Keep records of what you've accomplished, along with names and dates. And don't bother to "run your ideas" by the "me" guy anymore. If he's the type to take your ideas and pass them off as his own, then it's time to stop making him look good.

Like the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."

The stubborn guy This is the guy who's anything but a team player. He's too committed to his own ways to ever be open to change and new ideas. And even when it seems obvious to everyone else that his methods are ineffective, he always believes that his way of doing things is the best one. The stubborn guy may not always put in the energy to argue with others, but he's generally an old-fashioned guy who is set in his ways.

How to handle him: Cut your losses, and let him go. The one convenient thing about the stubborn guy is that if his way of doing things doesn't pan out, his failure will speak for itself.

Of course, if you're feeling generous, you can always try to help. Speak in general terms of how "others" do a certain task so that he's less likely to take it personally. And then there's always the option of just doing the task yourself. This course of action might undermine him, but it will also prove your point. If possible, make him believe that he's responsible for the change, and that it's his idea. Propose the idea to him, and let him take charge.

The backstabber This is the guy we all really hate -- he talks trash about you and your work to others, and he typically does it behind your back. He characterizes you as someone who's incompetent, and does his very best to make you look bad in front of your co-workers and superiors.

Regardless of whether or not it's true, the backstabber is effective in creating the perception that you're as bad as he makes you out to be.

How to handle him: The first time you hear about his trash talk, pull the backstabber aside to a private area, and let him know that you're aware of what he's doing. Most people in the office avoid confrontation, so if you let him know that you won't stand for it, he'll pay attention. He may deny the accusations, but as long as you get your point across, he'll get the message.

The blame game guy When it comes to playing the blame game, this guy's the champion. He never takes responsibility for his mistakes and shifts the blame onto others, often to an incredibly irrational extent. He fails to realize that the easiest way to impress your co-workers is to admit when you've done something wrong, and explore ways to avoid doing so in the future.

How to handle him: When it's appropriate, share the responsibility. Even if a mistake was more his fault than yours, acknowledging what you did wrong will make it easier for the blame game guy to admit what he did wrong on his part. When sharing the blame is not appropriate, however, it's important that you make clear to your superior who was at fault for the mishap, even if you have to do it in a private conversation.

The whiner The whiner is that guy who always complains. He's constantly crossing the delicate line between venting frustration and unconstructive nitpicking. He unleashes his cynical attitude onto whoever happen's around him, whether they want to hear it or not.

How to handle him: Being a whiner is usually embedded into someone's personality, so you probably won't be able to change him. But you can minimize your interactions with him.

When he starts chatting you up about the latest little thing that's getting on his nerves, simply tell him that you're busy. He may take offense, but hey, he needs to get the hint. if all else fails So you've done your best to deal with a difficult personality, but you still can't seem to shake him off your back. In these extreme cases, you may want consider taking one of the following courses of action.

Avoid him You don't have to ignore him completely, but you should try to steer clear of your irritable coworker as much as possible. If you don't work directly together, don't feel the need to engage in small talk or spend time with him when you don't have to.

Report him If you've tried to deal with this guy on your own to no avail, it may be time to bring up the issue with your superior. This is especially important if the quality of your work is suffering because of the situation.

Turn to human resources If your superior is ineffective in resolving the situation, you may want to approach someone in your human resources department. These people are trained to handle these types of issues -- it's what they're paid to do.

Ask to be transferred to a different department And if that doesn't work? Well, you can always ask to be relocated within the company. It's an extreme response to an extreme situation, but in some cases, you may have no other choice. dealing with difficulty The most important thing you can do for yourself in a situation where you have to deal with a difficult personality is keep your cool. If this guy is doing his best to make you look bad, you don't want to help him out. Keep your composure, react maturely and keep an open mind.

9 SOFT SKILLS FOR SUCCESS So you've got an impressive set of letters that come after your name, a wealth of valuable experience and even a few connections in high places. But believe it or not, that may not be enough to land you your dream job or that promotion you've had your eye on.

These days, the strength of your "soft" skills can make or break how successful you are in the workplace. what are soft skills?

Soft skills are essentially people skills -- the non-technical, intangible, personality-specific skills that determine your strengths as a leader, listener, negotiator, and conflict mediator.

"Hard" skills, on the other hand, are more along the lines of what might appear on your resume -- your education, experience and level of expertise.

Are you an agreeable person? Conscientious? Do you communicate effectively? Solve problems efficiently? These are the types of questions aimed at uncovering the strength of your soft skills. why employers care about them Employers value soft skills, because research suggests that they are just as good an indicator of job performance as traditional job qualifications or hard skills. One recent study, for example, found that personality measures like conscientiousness and agreeability were equally important predictors of work success as cognitive ability and work accuracy. the skills So how do you uncover your soft skills and get the most out of them? Here's a list of some of the most important soft skills and how to perfect them.

1- Have a "winner" attitude We've all heard that it's better to see the glass half full instead of half empty. And in the workplace, that type of positive thinking can go a long way. An overall positive outlook leads to an overall positive attitude, and that can be a valuable asset in work environments that typically breed cynicism and negativity.

The key to having a winning attitude is in how you tackle obstacles and challenges that come your way. For example, instead of complaining about a stressful workload, think about it as an opportunity to show off your abilities by getting through it productively and efficiently.

2- Be a team player

Employers love an employee who displays the ability to work well in groups and teams.

Being a team player means not only being cooperative, but also displaying strong leadership ability when it's appropriate.

The next time a conflict arises within your team, take the initiative to mediate. When you find your team getting stuck in a project, take the lead to move things forward. And what if you don't normally work with a team? Try to be more collaborative in the work you do and build professional relationships with your coworkers.

3- Communicate effectively Good communication skills are essential to someone's job performance. Communication is what allows you to build bridges with coworkers, persuade others to adopt your ideas and express your needs.

Many small things you already do -- things you probably don't even think about -- have a big impact on your communication skills. Here are some things you should be wary of when communicating with others: • • • • • •

Make good eye contact Don't fidget Avoid body movements that cut you off from others, like folding your arms Don't talk for the sake of talking; always have a point Enunciate your words properly Hone your grammar skills with a good reference or style manual

In general, you should become more aware of both the verbal and nonverbal cues you give off to others. Also remember that one of the keys to being a good communicator is being a good listener.

4- Exude confidence In almost every situation where you're trying to impress another person, confidence is key.

While it's important to accept your limitations and act humble when you receive praise, it's also important to acknowledge your strengths and embrace them.

Make sure you have the knowledge and skills to back up your confidence. If you act confident in some of your job responsibilities -- like your written communication, project management skills or leadership abilities -- make sure that it's based on genuine, positive reinforcement.

5- Hone your creative skills

Creativity and imaginative thinking are valued in any job. Even the most technical positions require the ability to think outside the box. So never underestimate the power of innovative problem solving.

The next time you're handed a tedious task, try to tackle it in a way that allows you to complete it more efficiently. When a problem comes along that others are reluctant to take on, jump at the opportunity to find a creative solution. If it doesn't work, then at least you'll have tried.

6- Accept & learn from criticism This is one of the most challenging soft skills, which is why it's typically one of the most impressive to employers. Your ability to handle criticism says a lot about your willingness to improve. And being able to criticize the work of others constructively is just as important.

Be aware of how defensive you get in reaction to negative feedback. Never reject a piece of constructive criticism completely without acknowledging that at least part of it is helpful.

And when you dish out criticism, make sure it's done diplomatically. Try to anticipate how the person you're criticizing will react based on his personality, and shape the way you criticize him accordingly.

7- Motivate yourself & lead others It's important for an employer to know that you're a self-starter who takes initiative. This means constantly seeking out new ways to keep your job interesting and motivational, even if it at the surface it seems repetitive and mundane.

Creativity plays a big role in this, but there's more to motivation than just that. Have the courage to pursue those ideas you've had stuck in the back of your mind, and have the dedication to follow through with them and be successful. Pilot others in the same direction to work towards a common goal. Remember that a good leader leads by example.

8- Multitask & prioritize your to-do list In today's workplace, a good employee is expected to be able to shuffle several different assignments and projects at once. Are you good at tracking the progress of different projects you've been handed to work on? Do you know how to prioritize what's most important?

These are the keys to being a good multitasker.

Don't be afraid to take on new tasks. Show off your multitasking skills by taking on projects that fall all over the spectrum. Branch out beyond your direct responsibilities, and be sure to report on the progress of projects regularly.

9- See the big picture Looking at the larger picture in your work means being able to see the determining factors of success. It also means recognizing a risk that's worth taking, and knowing when to take it.

Say, for example, that you're in advertising and you're handed the task of creating a campaign for a brand of soap. To see the big picture, you should recognize that the goal is not just to sell soap, but also to satisfy the client and provide him with a quality service. Additionally, you make yourself more valuable to your company by showing the unique creativity only you can bring to such a project.

Capitalize on all of your skills While it's important to recognize and build on your soft skills, that doesn't mean that you should neglect your hard skills. The real key to success in any job is making your soft skills and hard skills complement each other.

9 TIPS TO KEEP YOUR DIGNITY IN THE WORKPLACE “Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them."

You're proud of what you've accomplished in your education and career thus far, and you're eager to accept new challenges. These challenges, however, may present you with trying situations that can test your character and compromise your dignity. Remember: Maintaining your dignity is all about self-respect, confidence and fairness.

Here are some tips to avoid making mistakes that can compromise your dignity and selfesteem at work.

1- Make the boss look good without making yourself invisible When your boss gets a promotion, it could create a vacancy for you, or he might take you with him to a new department if he considers you an asset to the company and his career.

The key is to make sure he and others recognize your contribution to the company. Be visible, helpful and ready to pitch in when needed, but don't be a brownnoser. Very few strong leaders want to surround themselves with "Yes Men." Take pride in your accomplishments and don't hide your talents.

2- Don't be a whiner If you're constantly asking your boss for time off or to cut you some slack on a project deadline, he will resent you and it will adversely affect your career and your self-respect.

Whiners and chronic complainers do not get promoted -- their bosses arrange for lateral transfers to get rid of them. You want your boss as an ally, not an enemy, so make sure you don't cause him frustration and annoyance. Think twice about approaching him with every concern. Maintain your dignity by making decisions that are within your area of responsibility without bugging the boss for validation or praise.

3- Make sure working conditions are adequate You are entitled to reasonable pay and suitable, safe working conditions. Stand up for your rights and never trade your self-esteem for a paycheck. Similarly, never be afraid to ask your boss for something important to you, like flexible hours, a reduced work week or occasional days for telecommuting work at home. Be assertive, not aggressive, and underline the benefits to the company. Increase the likelihood that your proposal will be considered by presenting your request with respect for your boss and self-dignity.

4- Don't always follow the crowd

Collaborate and cooperate, but don't let yourself be used. You'll lose respect and dignity if you allow your colleagues to dump all the work on you while they bask in the glory of your job well done. Never be afraid to exercise your independence. Just because everyone else wanders in at 9:15 and leaves at exactly 5 o'clock, that doesn't make it right. For major issues like workplace safety, fair wages and business hours, join your colleagues in making a plea for fair labor practices, but unless you are in a union, you may be better off negotiating a raise directly with your boss. If security cameras have been installed in plain sight to prevent workplace theft, does it really impact your personal rights and privacy, and is it worth taking a stand on? Always weigh the pros and cons before committing yourself to joining others in support of their own agendas.

Don't make an ass of yourself, don't air your dirty laundry and, above all, control your emotions...

5- Don't get a reputation as a party animal or a buffoon It's fine to have fun at happy hour and office social functions, but go easy on your liquor intake. Decorum equals dignity. Making people laugh is a great trait when you're giving a speech or making a presentation, but if you become known in the office for being a joker or clown, you'll never be taken seriously and you'll lose your sense of self-respect, as well as the respect of your coworkers.

6- Avoid bringing personal problems to work Loud, personal telephone calls have no place in the office. If you're having a fight, begging forgiveness or feeling obliged to make "kissy" noises into the receiver, take it outside on your mobile. Similarly, carefully consider the potential impact on your career before beginning a relationship with a coworker. If there's a nasty breakup, you may suffer the indignity of people in the office knowing personal details you'd rather keep private.

7- Curb your annoyance & control your emotions It's normal to feel frustrated, irritated and upset when a colleague misses a deadline and it impacts your project, but how you react to the situation will affect people's perceptions of you. If you have a short fuse, be especially aware of rising anger so you don't blow up.

Maintain your dignity by keeping your emotions in check. If you do or say something you should not, be quick and sincere with your apology to salvage your reputation.

8- Be vigilant about harassment Inform yourself of your company's workplace harassment policies. If you are being constantly belittled by a coworker or you see a colleague making sexually inappropriate

comments to the receptionist, speak up. Just like schoolyard bullying, workplace harassment adversely affects the dignity of another person.

9- Show your leadership strengths & creativity Innovation is the key to the future in business. While you are accomplishing your day-to-day goals, keep your eye on the big picture and stay informed about your competitors' changes and activities. You'll achieve greater job satisfaction and increase your sense of selfconfidence at work if you trust your instincts and business intuition, increase your knowledge base and use your creative talents to help your company grow. don't compromise your values You are accountable for your actions. If you're asked to do something illegal or unethical, look beyond the immediate impact. Behave in a dignified, self-respecting manner, with integrity and pride. To keep your dignity intact, you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and know you've acted in good conscience to the best of your ability. At the end of each day, you'll have a sense of accomplishment and the feeling of a job well done.

12 WAYS TO HANDLE EMOTIONS LIKE A MAN AT WORK We've all witnessed men who have lost control of their emotions at work, slamming doors, yelling at coworkers or customers, and saying things they'll soon regret. We've seen men who've thrown tantrums at meetings because they've been overruled, their idea has been shot down or someone else has taken credit for their work.

As kids, we were taught to "act like a man" and suppress our feelings, and yet many of our coworkers are committing career suicide by losing control of their emotions at work.

How can we maintain our professionalism and handle emotions like a man? Here are some tips.

1- Take a walk to cool down During a meeting, when someone insults your management style or criticizes the department you lead, don't react in anger. Remove yourself from the situation as soon as you feel yourself getting hot under the collar. Fake a page or another call to extricate yourself from a non-productive telephone call so you can step outside to calm yourself. Giving yourself time to cool down will help you regain control of your emotions.

2- Ask for clarification before reacting Stall for time by asking questions. Is your boss asking what time you arrived because he's challenging your integrity or is he trying to start a conversation about the traffic jam on the off-ramp? If need be, repeat what the other person just said. This ensures you understand the comment and gives your colleague or client the opportunity to clarify any miscommunication.

3- Apply the 10-second rule Ensure you're not overreacting. If you feel your temper flaring on the phone or in a meeting, count to 10 to keep you from losing your cool. Analyze the facts before going on a rant or becoming defensive.

4- Talk to someone who can calm you down Always have someone to confide in, inside and outside of the office, about your frustrations.

Go for a beer together on a regular basis to vent. You cannot keep all your feelings inside, or your health will suffer. Acknowledge and express your emotions appropriately with a close friend, and be prepared to listen whenever he's ready to explode, and both of your careers will benefit.

5- Work out to work off your anger Don't blow your professional image by letting others see you freak out, pound the desk or scream. Go to the gym instead. Working out will help you release those pent-up emotions.

6- Recognize what ticks you off Be alert to the types of situations that knock you off-center. If you don't like questions interrupting your presentation, plan how you'll handle any hecklers. Planning a positive way to react will help you defuse your anger before it throws you off. If you know you have a short fuse or you're a perfectionist, learn how to deal with it so it doesn't hurt your professional image.

7- Understand your colleagues Read your colleagues' signals. What initially seems to be a snide comment might be a feeble attempt at humor. By getting to know your coworkers' characters and personalities, you won't be blind-sided when they do or say something that irritates you.

8- Anticipate other people's reactions When you're proposing a radical new work process or time schedule, you can be fairly certain your employees' first thoughts won't be about the cost savings and increased productivity. Focus on the personal benefits they will experience and you'll keep your own frustration in check. If your boss is constantly critical, anticipate his reactions to problems and proposals, and have persuasive arguments ready to get him on your side.

9- Prepare yourself to stay calm Anticipate any objections or questions you might face when you're making a presentation, especially ones that might put you in a bad light. Create a backup plan if there's a technical glitch in case your PowerPoint presentation freezes on you. Before going into your Performance Review meeting, have some accomplishments ready to offset any negative feedback, so you don't respond in anger.

10- Wait before writing a strongly worded e-mail Never disrespect others, even if you're right. It's easy to let contempt, fury or resentment cloud our judgment. Hold that strongly worded business e-mail or letter until the next day and reread it. Ask someone else to proofread any correspondence you think might be surly, condescending or rude.

11- Let go of your anger at the end of each day Get into the habit of letting go of your anger as you leave work every day. Otherwise it could fester and make you more likely to blow your cool. Focus on doing something you enjoy once you leave the office, whether it's hanging out with friends or watching the game on TV, and leave the stress and emotion behind.

12- Apologize for any emotional outbursts Despite your best intentions, if you end up erupting in a meeting, criticize a colleague's work or make ill-timed comments that you regret, how can you backpedal without losing face?

Apologize immediately to the targeted person and to everyone around who may have heard.

You don't need to offer a long-winded explanation of the pressures you were under, the background on the misunderstanding or the reasons you thought you were right. Saying "I reacted badly and I am sorry" will demonstrate your professionalism, integrity and leadership skills.

Act like a man and move on Strong leaders with strong characters will have strong feelings. That doesn't mean you should allow your emotions to control you, cloud your judgment and cause career missteps.

Recognizing the signs that you're getting angry will help you get over it quickly, without anyone noticing. Replacing your negative emotions with self-confidence and maintaining a healthy balance in your life will help you deal with difficult moments. No matter what, don't snap. It takes years to build up a reputation, and only seconds to destroy it.

6 WAYS YOUR COMPUTER CAN GET YOU FIRED Your boss is furious about the abuse of the company's resources. You're facing disciplinary action because of an e-mail that made the rounds over your name.

You're being sacked for breaching corporate security. How could this happen? workplace hazards The use of computer technology in the workplace has created a virtual minefield of potential pitfalls for employees who do not adhere to their corporation's computer usage policies.

Computer hardware, software and Internet access provided by an employer are intended for business use. The system belongs to the company and there should be no expectation of privacy on an employee's part. The company could engage in surveillance of your access and usage, including web surfing and e-mail content.

Here are some of the areas where you might be at risk and some tips to ensure that corporate security doesn't threaten your job security.

1- E-mail misuse Sending sexual, ethnic or racially derogatory correspondence is never a good idea, especially by e-mail. You could be accused of creating a hostile work environment if you send a dirty joke or picture. Remember that you have no control once you press the Send key. You and your buddy may share the same sense of humor, but if he chooses to forward your message to other people, it can be traced back to you if the recipient takes offense.

Beware of self-incriminating e-mail. Saying you're still drunk at work, speaking negatively about your boss or passing along malicious gossip about a coworker could be grounds for disciplinary action or dismissal. E-mail messages should be professional. Avoid knee-jerk, angry reactions and inappropriate comments by rereading your message before sending it -if you have any doubts, hold it until later.

Leaving your e-mail program signed in when you are not at your computer is asking for trouble. Someone else could send messages through your computer without your knowledge.

That disgruntled employee or the colleague who's vying for the same promotion as you could take advantage of an open e-mail and you could be fired before you know it.

2- Dangerous downloading Downloading pornography is often grounds for instant dismissal. Don't fool yourself into thinking it's okay because you only surf questionable blogs and porn sites when no one's

around. With sophisticated monitoring software, your company can track every site you visit.

Again, sign out of your PC when you leave your workstation to block someone else's access.

Unless it's your last day at work anyway and you want to spend all your money on a defense attorney, no one would consciously download a virus or worm. But a seemingly harmless email or website could infect your computer and infiltrate the entire network. If it's proven that you ought to have known better, you could be let go.

3- Confidentiality breaches You have an obligation to protect confidential documents and proprietary information.

Avoid using your laptop to read or create classified reports in a public place like an airplane or coffee shop. You never know if the guy reading over your shoulder from across the aisle is the best buddy of your competitor.

Sending information by e-mail to the wrong person could also land you in hot water. The HR department is waiting for statistics on how you're going to downsize your department, but if you inadvertently send it to the wrong person, you could create an even bigger problem.

The security of your laptop should always be a priority. Put it between your feet at the restaurant, in the subway or in a line-up. Never leave it in plain sight in your car. If it is stolen, your care and control of company property and the proprietary information contained therein will be questioned and could impact your position with the company.

4- Abuse of time & loss of productivity You're paid to work, not play. Playing computer games, surfing the Net to plan your vacation or downloading music for your MP3 are examples of wasting the company's time.

Even checking your personal e-mail during working hours could impact your career if your employer perceives that it negatively affects your productivity.

Never use your work computer to apply for a new position in another company and do not give your work e-mail address on your rsum. If you're caught, you may find yourself in an urgent search of alternate employment.

5- Errors in judgment Don't blog at work and never include any comments on a blog or traceable forum that could be detrimental to your career. Even if you blog on your own time from home, if you speak negatively about your employer or hint at trade secrets, you could set yourself up for dismissal. And forget about posting photos from the post-product-launch party if they show your boss drunkenly dancing on a table. He may not be amused.

Violating software licensing agreements or using pirated software could also be considered cause. Make sure any software was acquired legally. Even if the company's IT expert offers to install it, decline. If you're caught with it, you have no proof the IT guy was involved.

6- Ethical dilemmas Plagiarizing was frowned upon in school and it's career suicide in the business world. It's easy to make a mistake when you're researching a report and you've cut and pasted portions of someone else's work into your notes. If you include it without permission or attribution, even if it is inadvertent, you'll be branded a cheater. There could be strong repercussions if copyright laws have been breached.

Never compromise security by giving a friend access to password-protected information. If you somehow still have access to your former company's internal system, don't offer it to your new boss. In the short term, they may gain a competitive advantage but when they are caught, you're the one who will take the heat, and possibly even face criminal charges.

No matter how much you detest the loudmouth in the next office who steals your ideas, keep your hands off his computer. Altering or deleting someone else's files could get you dismissed.

Protect yourself Blatant misuse of the company's computer system could get you fired. Even minor abuse of your computer access and usage policies can stymie your career, as you may be branded irresponsible, untrustworthy or lacking in judgment. Password protect all proprietary information and log out of your PC when you leave your office, even for a few minutes.

Learn your company's rules and err on the side of caution when it comes to computer usage, security and confidentiality.

BECOME THE GO-TO PERSON AT WORK We all know that businesses thrive on strong relationships, so we try hard to impress our clients and external stakeholders. However, most of us pay little or no attention to our relationships with our peers, bosses and coworkers.

The go-to person in the workplace is the individual everyone appreciates and turns to for advice. Here’s what you should do to get noticed at work.

Walk around for 15 minutes a day Offices are like small families. You spend up to 10 hours a day in close proximity with your coworkers, sharing the same office space, facilities, break rooms, refrigerators, and coffee pots. Everyone shares the responsibility of making the company run smoothly and helping it stay profitable.

Put aside about 15 minutes a day to walk around, greet your coworkers and exchange pleasantries. A smile and a warm handshake can help relieve their stress and add to your desirability factor at work. However, make sure that you don't become the office nuisance by interrupting people when they’re busy. If one of your coworkers is rushing to meet a deadline, save the pleasantries for someone else.

Compliment your colleagues Every so often, tell a senior management executive how much you appreciate a certain colleague or subordinate. Be as specific as you can, such as: "Ross, I want you to know what a great job Victor did at the presentation yesterday. We are all lucky to have him on the team."

If a veteran employee is retiring, organize a goodbye party; if someone is being promoted, set up happy hour with your coworkers to celebrate. Take initiative and others will take an instant liking to you. A word of warning, however: Make sure that your compliments are sincere and don’t overdo it -- unless you want to be labeled the office brownnoser.

Contribute to a publication Have you thought of contributing to your organization’s internal newsletter, website or journal? Since company publications are frequently read by top executives, you’ll increase your visibility and establish yourself as an expert in your area. This is a great way to toot your own horn in a discreet fashion.

Join a committee While interacting with the same group of colleagues every day won’t increase your exposure, working on a company committee will allow you to make new contacts and show off your skills to people who matter within the organization. If you behave like a leader, you could find yourself moving into a leadership position sooner than you imagined.

Offer a helping hand If you've used the last piece of paper in the copier or printer, fill it up. Take on extra tasks like mentoring a new recruit or training a colleague in your area of expertise. Share a trade secret that will help a coworker impress the boss. These small gestures help you build relationships and spread a good word about you in the workplace. Remember that what goes around comes around, and the people you help will likely remember it when it matters the most.

Stay informed Read industry publications, reports and magazines, and be aware of market trends. Your knowledge will be obvious to your colleagues, and they‘ll look up to you for advice and information. They might also talk positively about you with other members of the team and higher-ups; there is nothing better than third-party publicity.

Make yourself essential Don't shy away from self-promotion and PR at work. If done well, it can have a positive impact and help you get ahead.

STREAMLINE YOUR WORKSPACE A messy work environment seems to be the classic trait of busy individuals. As the pile starts to build and the muddle starts to grow, you will inevitably reach a point where the clutter starts to prove to be a hindering nuisance.

There are many reasons to streamline your workspace that go beyond simply being able to find stuff quickly. A cluttered, unorganized workspace reflects poorly on your state of mind, so you might have to work extra hard to prove that you are orderly and on top of things.

Many people undervalue the importance of an organized workspace; pointing out the one or two individuals who seem firmly in control of things but who are untidy.

Let me just say that they are the exception, and even those who may seem untidy and scattered to the naked eye may have a system for streamlining their workspace. Read on for guidelines to help you improve and control the arrangement of your current working system.

Find a system that suits you Are you good at remembering dates? Not necessarily exact dates, but perhaps periods of time? Or do you think more categorically and see your work as belonging to different clusters of activities?

For those of you who think categorically, the labeled binder or organized file cabinet may be your answer. These people tend to be more successful when things are synthesized and orderly so that they can review everything at a quick glance.

Then there are those who like to recall things according to time, the ones who think linearly and like to trace the steps from A to B. These people are more successful when things are organized chronologically. They tend to remember dates and events quite clearly and generally have a higher level of tolerance for clutter than their “categorical� coworkers. The reason is simple: When things start to settle on your desk, the oldest subjects tend to settle to the bottom.

Don't force yourself into a system that doesn’t work with the way your mind functions.

Instead, think about how you classify things in your brain and find a physical organization system that best complements you.

Do a little each day At a regular interval each day, find the time to put things in order and tidy up. If there are things that are scattered about, make the effort to file them away or place them in a pile according to the system that suits you.

For those who think categorically, place the scattered items in the pile that matches the category. For those who think of things according to timelines and dates, place the

misplaced items back into their proper place according to date. If you do things on a daily basis, it should take a couple minutes each time around and it will save you loads of time in the end.

Use an afternoon or morning for organizing Once in a while, you will come across the need to do a comprehensive cleanup of your workspace. Maybe your piles are getting too large or your folders are being stretched to their limit and you need to break things down into subcategories to stay on top of things.

Whatever you do, make sure you reserve a good amount of time to do it, and treat it like any regular job function. Schedule it in and block off an entire morning or afternoon every two months to go through the stuff that is cluttering your work space. Take your time, as this is not something you want to rush. Glance through the stack of material in your files or folders and make sure that nothing was misplaced during your daily cleanups.

Put urgent items in their own folder Deadlines -- especially close deadlines -- are items that need to be addressed right away; therefore, they should be kept close at hand. Always have a list or a pile of urgent items to attend to. These should be separated from the rest of your things and organized in terms of priority. I have witnessed too many missed due-dates because people have forgotten things or have spent too much time trying to find where they put important documents.

Get an electronic copy when possible A lot of that mess on your desk is caused by an excess of paper and documents. Whenever possible, ask people to e-mail things to you. Once you've received the e-mail, label it and file it properly. The search tool on outlook and the Google Desktop search are great tools that help you find what you are looking for. However, you should still transfer your offline hardcopy organizing-strategy to your computer as well. Relying solely on the search tool is a dangerous thing to do, so take the time to organize files in your computer.

If you have the time to do it, try to transfer some of your paper documents to electronic format by having them scanned. It could be overkill for some of you, but it is a necessary step in staying organized for many people.

Use a desktop calendar I know a lot of people will ask why they should bother with a tabletop calendar when they can make use of the day timer on their computers. The answer is: The tabletop calendar is right in your face.

As people pile time-sensitive material on your desk, flip to the date that the material is due and make a note of when you received it and what it is for. That way, when you put it into a

file, you do not lose sight of what category or date it belongs to. This is a simple manner to synchronize your planning efforts with your tidying efforts.

Make the most of your workspace Take the time and effort to develop a system that fits you and make it a habit to put it into practice. Each person knows how he works best, so organize your workspace in a manner that is conducive to the way you look at things. A streamlined workspace can help you reach new goals in efficiency and productivity; the hard part is keeping it up.

NEUTRALIZING WORRY SITUATIONS Your job is to organize your life and work so as to minimize surprises and problems.

However, this is not always possible, in spite of your best efforts.

Use the Worry Buster If you are already facing a fear- or worry-inducing situation, here are the four steps of what we refer to as the "worry buster."

Clarity is Everything Step Number One: Define the worry situation clearly in writing - fully half of all problems can be solved just by clearly defining them. Remember, "Accurate diagnosis is half the cure."

Determine the Worst Step Number Two: Determine the worst possible outcome of the situation. What is the absolute worst that can happen?

Be Willing to Have it So Step Number Three: Resolve to accept the worst should it occur. The first step in dealing with any negative situation is to be willing to have it so. Once you resolve to accept the worst, your mind will become calm and clear and you'll be ready to take some constructive action.

Take Action Step Number Four: The final step is to immediately begin doing everything you possibly can to improve upon the worst.

The Real Antidote to Worry Remember, worry is merely a sustained form of fear caused by indecision. The only real antidote to worry is purposeful action. Get so busy doing something about your situation that you don't have time to worry. As you take action, your confidence, courage and sense of control will return and wipe away your fears.

Action Exercises Here are two things you can do to get rid of your worries: First, make a list, down one side of a page, of all the situations causing you any stress or worry at the moment.

Second, on the other side of the page, write out the worst possible thing that could happen as a result. You'll be amazed to see much of your worry disappear with this exercise.

5 SIGNS IT'S TIME TO QUIT So, you have been in your employment position for quite a while, or maybe you have only been there for a few months and doubts about your status there have already begun to creep into your mind.

For many of us, it can be hard to decide when it is time to move on. Some people read too much into every personnel change and reassignment; the uncertainty gnawing at them as they wonder what bearing these changes will have on their futures. There are also people who are content in their current position -- perhaps a bit too content -- with a sense of inertia that keeps them perched on the same seat until their youth has passed them by.

If you are intent on a fast-moving career, it is important to know when to leave your current position. Herein are some key signs to look for before you decide to jump ship.

1- An advancement opportunity closes off Believe it or not, getting a new desk or a steal-toe boot reimbursement is not the same as being passed up for promotion. Here are two primary situations that characterize a blocked advancement opportunity: •

Your boss gives the promotion to someone else despite grooming you for the position.

If you were led to believe that the promotion was yours and it was given to someone else, it may be time to look for a new job. But before making any rash decisions, ask for an explanation. Your boss may just have a reasonable explanation, such as a better promotion around the corner.

You truly are at a dead end.

In a garden some things grow and some things die. If it looks like all the good opportunities are locked up and there are no others in sight, it may be better to leave sooner rather than later. •

2- You are pushed into an unappealing position Being placed into an unappealing position or having responsibilities slowly stripped away may indicate a temporary limbo status while the company is waiting to restaff you. It could also mean something entirely different, such as the possibility that you are simply being used to fill an undesirable position.

Find out where you stand within the company. Ask yourself if you are one of the better performers? Is your salary overburdensome and out of line with your peers? The key here is to ascertain your value to the company and what intentions and plans your boss may have

for you. If you sense there is a trend toward new blood, it could be that your job is in danger.

In either case, find out what your boss has in store for you. Talk things over with him and if you do not like what you see and hear, it is time for you to think seriously about finding a new job.

Talking about your concerns is not likely to affect your career projection, as long as you are clear about your intentions. If your employer is happy with your work, they are not likely to try to replace you for your concerns -- if only for the cost of hiring and termination -- unless you indicate that you are extremely unhappy.

3- Breaches of trust How often have you been promised a raise or bonus only for it to fall through? How often has your boss made big promises to you only to fail to keep them?

If you find yourself in a situation similar to this, voice your displeasure and see what your boss has to say. Trust is like an unspoken contract and a violation of such should include reparations of some sort.

If your supervisor shows a lack of good faith toward you by failing to follow through on his promises, it is time for you to start packing your bags and looking elsewhere. Don’t get caught constantly waiting on the promise of “next time.”

4- Downsizing is on the horizon Always keep an eye out for where the industry and your company are headed. Be wary of any downturns and any signs that your company’s sales growth may be slowing, especially if your firm is a public traded entity.

In today’s financial markets, top-level management is constantly focused on delivering quarter-by-quarter results, which has unfortunately led to a rather short-term perspective when it comes to staffing.

If it looks like downsizing is in the forecast in next few months or even the next year, it is time to start thinking about your own future now. Downsizing is a huge billboard and you should start looking before others in your firm do. Give yourself time to find a better job and avoid those who are rushing for the exit.

5- Your boss is jumping ship Is there something that you do not know? If the captain abandons his ship there may be good reason for you to get out as well. Do some sleuthing and try to delve into the details of

why he or she may be leaving the firm. If he was quietly forced out, your investigation can rest; however, if the departure makes little sense it may be time to stretch your job feelers yourself.

Walking to the exit Knowing when it is time to leave is a skill that we all have to master. There are times when making a quick departure is so much better for our careers than sticking around. It is also better for our psyche and morale. Pay attention to the signs around you‌ is it time to go or to stay?

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DEALING WITH JEALOUS COWORKERS Success breeds success and, unfortunately, jealousy.

During your ascension of the corporate ladder you have likely won a lot of friends and a few enemies. These enemies, whom you will always encounter, will often try to bring you down or belittle your accomplishments. Left to their devices, your enemies or, to use a kinder term, jealous coworkers, can be a hindrance to the progress of your career and they may even set traps for you to stumble into.

The most obvious jealous coworker can be easily identified, as he will single you out for competition in any and every endeavor you undertake. The more subtle enemy often waits for the opportune time to badmouth you for every failure or mistake you may make; he is the most dangerous of the two.

Having dealt with these people at all levels of the workplace, I have found that there are two basic ways to deal with jealous coworkers: 1) defuse their jealousy and 2) counter their efforts.

Defuse their jealousy Is your behavior to blame? Have you done anything to stoke their jealous feelings? Have you belittled others or flaunted your successes?

These are questions you must ask yourself because you don't want to give others a reason to hate you. If you recognize that you have negative traits you must change them. In fact, go out of your way to be cordial and humble and to build others up. Build the confidence and self-esteem of your colleagues by sharing your success and teaching others to be successful.

If you have been outright arrogant in the past, make amends and try to make peace with your enemies. Show a profound change in heart.

For the sake of your career, reputation and sanity, it is imperative to avoid a fight or ill feelings in the workplace. If you do this because you fear what a colleague can do to your career, they will see right through it. Rather, try and make a sincere change because it is the professional thing to do.

Win respect from your peers Are you viewed as the “free-agent” mercenary that is looking out for No. 1 above everything else? It is never too late to start reversing the mistakes of your past; people can recognize a change in heart when it happens.

Be the type of person who puts the team and your staff, if that’s the case, first. Nothing will win you support and remove the support from your detractors faster than when you take

care of the people around you. Try to isolate the jealous party as the only person who harbors resentful feelings toward you; this will hopefully bring his jealousy to a simmer.

Preempt jealousy If you can recognize a disgruntled colleague or subordinate and can sense that he may be beginning to dislike you, you can preempt his jealousy. Spread credit where it is due and, sometimes, even when it is not. Stay humble, but not to the point where your own contributions are unrecognized. Getting to his feelings before they develop into full-blown jealousy is the key.

Take the time to congratulate your peers on their successes. Try not to be jealous yourself, as these feelings are easily recognizable by others. If you have any jealous feelings or display any negative actions or behaviors, you’re likely to garner a similar response.

Counter their efforts If you are unable to defuse a coworker's jealousy, you may be forced to react to save your reputation in the workplace. This is about damage control as no one will come out ahead in an ugly squabble.

If a slander campaign against you by the jealous party has begun, it is your job to prove the opposite. Do not begin a slander campaign of your own, as this will only reinforce his offense. Continue to give praise to others, always smile and be cheery (but not excessively), work hard, and disengage from any gossipy talk that occurs around you as you implement the tactics below.

Find allies in high places One of the first things to do when you need to defend yourself is to find some allies. In my experience, the higher you go in the chain of command the better. In fact, I have often found that this single act of finding a powerful ally can deter the will of others. While your jealous compatriots may feel more than willing to tussle with you, they may not be all so eager to cause problems when a senior executive is involved.

Don’t brown nose and don’t appear fragile and weak. Simply sit with your superior in a formal way behind closed doors and state your concerns regarding the situation and keep him informed of any developments.

Keep track of any infractions Maintain records of any confrontations that you have had with the jealous individual and try to keep some proof of the incident -- otherwise it is your word against his. Try to remain professional. If he plays ugly do not react in kind; he may be keeping records too. If you

receive a nasty e-mail, keep it and do not reply to it -- ensure that he has none of your words in print. If you must address the nastiness, do so in person. Your records and his lack of will greatly improve the chances that your version of what happened can be verified.

Give them room to back down Avoid putting your adversaries on the defensive, making them feel threatened and desperate.

Remember: You are trying to avoid a huge spat, so give him every opportunity to back down. Make small concessions to help the relationship along. For instance, if your adversary is unusually nice or makes a friendly gesture, trust it, though not blindly. He may be attempting to apologize in a way that does not sacrifice his pride. Don’t sacrifice it for him by increasing your offensive assault -- be gracious. It will help if others are aware of your peacekeeping efforts so at least you cannot be faulted for not trying.

Making the best of it Dealing with jealous coworkers is often a difficult situation that you want to avoid. Make a conscious effort to be a team player and defuse their jealousy before it even becomes a problem. No one comes out ahead when you have to fight things out.

7 TIPS TO BUILD & MANAGE A GOOD TEAM A manager’s role has become extremely challenging since organizations have expanded their scope across various demographics. Today’s managers are faced with team members that may be from multiple locations, from different cultures and have different backgrounds than their own.

Team building in this context is a prized skill that managers are willing to invest in. It has become critical to find “team players” when selecting people for a job or business project.

An organization’s potential will end where the imagination of a sharp team does. There is a lot more involved than simple complimentary skills when building an elite team. Here are seven practices at the heart of building a first-rate team.

1- Get the best on board Why this is important: The productivity gap between the top and average performers is considerable. If you are working against a tight deadline and are also cautious about quality, be prepared to pay for the best. The best in class may be expensive to hire but they will bring the maximum value to the table and get the job done. The old dictum, “If you pay peanuts, you would only get monkeys,” holds true here.

How this is done: Focus on hiring employees that have biographical data similar to your company’s star employees (i.e. they have a background in finance, have changed fewer than two jobs in the last five years, are well networked in the business community, and are enthusiastic and vocal). Role-playing could also be used to ensure that candidates possess soft skills (people skills, personality and motivation) and the mental ability required for problem-solving, analysis and an eye for detail.

Your relationship with time may force you to rush the hiring process, which should never be done. If you are looking for five-star dining, would you consider fast food? Avoid the indigestion that the “fast-food” selection tests can cause (low performance, high turnover and poor morale). Invest in your people and get the best on board.

2- Align tasks to skills & motivation Why this is important: Managers don’t motivate employees: People can only motivate themselves. Combining the right skill sets with motivation is paramount in ensuring that tasks are completed efficiently. If you allow your team members to progress into the areas where they excel and are interested in, you will effectively keep them engaged and free yourself from the risk of having disgruntled and frustrated team members.

How this is done: The manager’s behavior can help employees discover their inner motivation. Consistency can be driven by using coaching as a people management tool or leadership style. Observed personality traits can manifest in successful team players. A public relations candidate functioning in the background may be self-effacing and less self-

conscience while they help project the team into the limelight. Candidates who are actionoriented and like to see immediate results may make excellent sales professionals.

3- Strike the right balance Why this is important: Most projects require a mix of activities. A team needs to have a balanced set of skills, especially if the majority of the members are specialists in their field (consultants, analysts, IT experts). All skills will come into play while the team carries out its task, and any lack can result in the hampering of the project. Most managers make the common mistake of mixing skill sets with complete disregard to mixing personality types.

Unbalanced teams may result in personal politics and ”turf wars,” and may lead to increased divisions in the team.

How this is done: A balance in terms of personality and temperament also needs to be achieved, which will promote better relationships between members of the team. Closely watch the interpersonal dynamics within the team. The manager may be asking for trouble if he teams the extroverted and high-energy marketing consultant with the reserved and calm product manager to design the product positioning strategy. Choose team members who have the skill sets along with the adaptability and flexibility to work with different people.

4- Manage the team mix Why this is important: It is difficult to predict whether the team mix is correct and if it facilitates success; therefore, constant monitoring is indispensable. Allowing someone to remain on the team when they are a mismatch can prove counter productive. Other members may become resentful when no action is taken and they are obligated to cover for a non-productive member.

How this is done: The team’s perception of itself is crucial. There may be a “social animal” on the team and their major contribution is to hold the team together. While a manager may perceive him to be unproductive, the team might value his jokes for their morale boosting.

Some diligence is required in this situation to ensure that fact is separated from opinion before any conclusions are made. Consider regular discussions with team members on an individual basis in order to gauge the pulse of the team.

5- Give the credit and take the blame Why this is important: Do not indulge in fault-finding or blame games. Pigeonholing a particular member of the team may spread negative vibes within the team and cost you time and quality. Celebrating every small success and appreciating team members will build a sense of camaraderie between team members.

How this is done: Be a coach rather than the star player and let people make mistakes -that’s the only way they will learn. Put sustainable processes in place and ensure clarity of role and accountabilities so team members become empowered and don’t drop the ball. A manager must have the smarts to balance the good of the individual with the good of the

team. Appreciate and acknowledge the positive behaviors so that they turn into consistent practices.

Does the idea of taking a bulletproof convoy to work seem more appealing than driving your Honda? Would you rather a hostile takeover of your company be headed by rebel militias than Microsoft? And would you like to experience this exotic lifestyle while making a lot more money than you do now?

If this description matches your career ambitions, you're in luck because globalization has seen more international companies open offices in danger hotspots in recent years than at any other point in history. And in order to lure executive-level talent to unstable regions, businesses have developed lucrative benefit packages, including housing subsidies, travel allowances and massive pay increases.

Intrigued?

DANGER PAY: MAKING MORE MONEY BY WORKING IN UNSAFE COUNTRIES

I have done your homework for you and researched which dangerous countries are the most profitable to risk your butt in. Each country listed has employment opportunities for international workers, but features work environments in which you should be weary of involuntary death.

So if you want to stay in your current job but ratchet up the excitement level in your lifestyle, take note of the countries below and speak to management about broadening your horizons.

Oil reserves = Big returns Countries: Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Nigeria, Sudan, and Democratic Republic of Congo.

Danger pay increase: 25% Additional benefits: Complete coverage of housing, travel and education costs; little or no income tax.

Primary drawbacks: Potential revolution/overthrowing of government; little freedom for Westerners.

It's common knowledge that some of the world's most generous pay scales are in the oil industry, so it should be no surprise that unstable countries with significant natural resources, most prominently oil, tend to provide the highest salaries for foreign workers.

Countries like Saudi Arabia, Nigeria and Sudan are all characterized by rigid governments, a potentially dangerous populace and some of the largest oil reserves in the world. Companies working in these undesirable locales use fat paychecks to make sure they have qualified people pumping liquid gold out of the ground and into their pockets.

Although foreigners who work directly with oil may see the highest pay increase, other sectors such as education, technology and trade raise the salary of prospective employees by approximately 25% to lure in international talent. Add this substantial pay increase to the generous housing and travel allowances issued by employers and it's no surprise that many educators who spend time in dangerous countries return home millionaires.

If you can't live without a post-work beer, you might be better suited to working in the next set of countries Working in a possible war zone Countries: Algeria, Central African Republic, Israel, and Lebanon.

Danger pay increase: 20% Additional benefits: Complete or partial coverage of housing, travel and education costs; freedoms comparable to Western standards.

Primary drawbacks: Potential civil war.

Following resource-rich states as the most generous dispensers of danger pay are countries with established and vibrant commercial markets. The only problem is that these countries are emerging from conflicts that could reignite.

The pay and benefits provided in countries like Lebanon may be a little less than in oil-rich nations -- 20% vs. 25% according to US government surveys -- but many Western expatriates prefer these work environments because of the freedom and liberties they afford their citizens (whereas cocktail hour is a feature of daily life in Beirut, grabbing a cold beer after work in Riyadh may land you in prison).

One part poor, one part dangerous Countries: Colombia, Haiti and Yemen.

Danger pay increase: 15% Additional benefits: Free housing within your government or company compound.

Primary drawbacks: Civil unrest and lawlessness.

This last group of countries features a combination of rotten security conditions and defective economies. The pairing of danger and poverty has led to a small or nonexistent private sector in these countries, and has relegated the only viable employment opportunities to positions in government, development and NGOs. Haiti, the recent recipient of a brand new president courtesy of an opposition coup; Yemen, one of the last countries in the world to ban slavery in 1962; and Colombia, the inventor of the modern cocaine economy -- all have foreigners living within their borders and earning 15% more than they would at home. how to get down and dangerous So you've decided to begin living more like Jason Bourne and less like Chandler Bing? The only problem now is figuring out how to get yourself across the ocean to rake in paychecks and risk death as soon as possible.

The best way of gaining employment in dangerous countries is via a transfer from your current employer. If you like your job and don't want to jump the company ship, do some research and assess the possibilities of a switch to an overseas office. Even if you move to a foreign branch where only periodic travel to danger spots is required, your employer will make sure that at least some danger money makes its way into your pay slip.

If you see no possibility of getting overseas with your current job, you can always turn to headhunters who specialize in overseas appointments or, better yet, you can always apply to postings directly.

Just like the job market in North America and Europe, companies operating out of dangerous regions employ HR firms to publicize potential openings. Moreover, because people currently in these positions tend to make big bucks for a couple of years and then

split, you'll be surprised at the number of high-level opportunities available.

If all these options fail, your last resort is teaching. Ever since the global economy adopted English as its official language, the entire population of North America has become a specialized workforce simply by growing up with English as their native tongue. The necessity for English in international markets has created a wealth of teaching opportunities in dangerous countries for anyone fluent in English and who can stumble their way through teaching math, science, or, well, English.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HAPPY HOUR Your colleagues have invited you to join them for a beer after work. Your boss has added team-building to your duties and you're wondering if planning a get-together in the local pub might be a good idea.

Your career seems to be stagnating and you're interested in networking to see what other prospects there may be. Attending a corporate happy hour can offer more benefits than you might realize.

It's time for you to find out what having a few cocktails with colleagues and people from the industry can do for your career. why you should attend Unlike the boss' barbecue or a company office party, happy hour is not a command performance. It's an opportunity to mingle with coworkers on an informal basis, and to chat with people from other departments who you don't often see in the office. You might find out about new projects, expansion or hiring.

Happy hour can be a great time to network with people from other companies or different industries, as well. It's also an opportunity to make a good impression on superiors and executives.

You can mention the work you've been doing, bring up ideas you have for the company and generally make yourself more visible, but in a relaxed atmosphere. It can be a great place to brainstorm and network -- but remember the concept of happy hour is social, not business. make the most of happy hour Choose the location wisely If you're the first to arrive at the local watering hole, pick an area where your group can chat without others overhearing you. Even though the intent is to have a casual get-together, someone might inadvertently leak a corporate secret. Move to a quieter spot to talk if someone is intent on having a serious work-related conversation. Better yet, suggest a formal meeting the next day.

Invite everyone from the office Whether it's planned weeks in advance or on the spur of the moment, make sure everyone feels welcome to join you if they wish. That quiet receptionist might have some great

marketing ideas she's been too shy to share and that geek from accounting may be looking for the opportunity to offer some productivity improvement ideas.

Inquire about guests Nothing puts a damper on an office team-building session than having an employee's knowit-all wife show up and monopolize the conversation. At strictly social sessions, spouses and partners can add a lot to the occasion. Nonetheless, ask before inviting your girlfriend to meet you or before inviting yourself to a friend's office happy hour.

Be prepared Bring business cards to hand out when necessary. Carry your PDA or a small notebook in your pocket. Suggestions on new products or innovative work methods can arise from informal gatherings of employees. Have a 30-second bio ready if you need to talk about yourself and your professional plans. You never know when someone from another firm might meander over or your boss' boss might join you.

Work the room Move around and meet a variety of people. Don't stay with the same group of people all night. Don't sit down if you can avoid it. If everyone has been arranged to sit at one long table, choose your seat strategically, and then change places several times throughout the evening to have an opportunity to speak with everyone.

Pay your way Never assume the boss' expense account will pay for the evening's libations. A manager who's stuck with the bar bill on his personal credit card too many times will become ornery.

If the company doesn't cover all the drink costs, be sure to pay for the cocktails you offer others. Proper etiquette dictates that if you offer it, you pay, and then the other person buys the next round (although it doesn't always work out that way). When the group runs a tab and everyone throws in their share of cash, make sure there's enough left over for your server. Don't let your company's reputation suffer because of a few cheapskates.

Don't get drunk Match your intake of alcohol with the same quantity of water by alternating between the two. Avoid ordering and having too many shots. It might give you a "frat boy" image.

Enjoy the free food, within reason

If free appetizers are available, mind your manners and don't make a pig of yourself. Order from the menu if you're starving. If someone finds the hors d'oeuvres buffet empty after you've filled your plate, it's not the bar staff whose reputation will suffer.

Watch what you say Don't get carried away with what you say to colleagues during these informal gatherings.

Sharing too much personal information, disclosing company plans to outsiders and heavy flirtations are all to be avoided. Although the setting is informal, you still need to remain professional.

Avoid too much shop talk It's okay to discuss general ideas; you can finalize them the following day in the office. But happy hour is not the time to have a serious plan meeting for your next project. Ask your colleagues about their vacations, discuss a recent movie or talk about the latest sports scores to demonstrate that you're not all work, all the time.

Listen Take an interest in other people. Practice your active listening skills and focus on the person you're talking to. Don't let your eyes constantly drift over their shoulders to see who else is coming in, or what other group might be more interesting. You'll be branded as rude, shallow and insincere.

Watch the signals with women Be sure to set the proper tone when talking to a woman. Approach coworkers professionally and don't mix business and pleasure. Too much attention can be misunderstood, by the lady or by observers. And be discreet afterward. If your boss had his hand on his secretary's knee, don't gossip about it.

Keep it light It's important to be known for more than your work, so be sociable at happy hour, all while remaining professional. It's a great opportunity to get to know your colleagues and to get yourself noticed for being an all-round great guy.

DEALING WITH CONFLICT BETWEEN COLLEAGUES As if workplace stress isn't enough, now you have to deal with coworkers duking it out in the office -- constantly. Should you let them deal with it on their own or interfere?

Working effectively with others is an essential career skill but, like common sense, it's not that common. Being perceived as a natural leader and peer mediator can boost your corporate image. Butting into the middle of an office fray can also backfire, doing irreparable damage to your interpersonal work relationships.

Whether it's a matter of people simply not liking each other, a high-stress environment or a competitive work atmosphere, it's hard to ensure everyone gets along -- and besides, that's not your job. You're not their boss, yet.

Workplace tension But if the tension, name calling and nastiness is affecting productivity, bringing down your department's morale or impacting your job performance, you might have to bite the bullet and do something about it.

Using humor sometimes works to draw attention to inappropriate, unproductive, childish behavior. You can also refuse to be triangled in a workplace conflict by stating, "That's between you two," and walking away from gossip, back-stabbing comments and chronic complaint sessions.

On occasion, though, the workplace combatants might hint that they want someone to intercede and help them work out their issues. Here are some points to consider: what to do about it Assess the situation objectively Are you certain you are not personally implicated in this dispute? If it is between two supposed adults, you're not involved and you are not in a position of authority, maybe you should just tune out when they begin their banter. Ignoring their behavior won't help them resolve their issues, but it might be the safest course of action for your career.

Determine if your involvement will help or hinder Stepping in to intervene between colleagues who are at odds with each other is a touchy issue that can end up biting you in the rear. Review your mediation skills and communication style. Whether or not you can pull this off has a lot to do with how you are perceived by those involved.

If you have the respect of the people involved, you might be able to serve as a mediator.

This will be more effective if you are known as a straight shooter who tells it like it is. You

need to be unbiased, a good listener and a creative problem solver. Above all, you must be trustworthy, discreet and not a brown-noser.

Set up a mediation meeting Invite both parties to meet with you on neutral territory. A conference room or a closed office is good. A quiet corner of an off-site coffee shop is better because the combatants are less likely to lose their cool in public. Consider carefully whether you should meet with them alone. It might be useful to have a trusted colleague attend with you as a silent observer and witness.

Establish ground rules Make an opening statement clarifying your role. You're not taking sides, it's not a debate and no one needs to try to convince you that they're right. Ask each one to state their case. Make it clear that no one is to interrupt while someone is speaking. For this communication to be as constructive as possible, each person, including the mediator, must exercise restraint and demonstrate respect for the process, if not for each other. Don't permit any character attacks or generalizations. Explain the need to focus on the issues at hand, not ancient history.

Reframe and refocus It's important that both parties feel that they've been heard. Avoid being judgmental. Be objective, repeat the concerns and seek clarification to ensure the problems are clearly identified and understood. Acknowledge feelings. "It sounds like you are frustrated that George's reports have been late and that doesn't leave you much time to incorporate his data into your presentations." Then and only then can you begin to deal with the business issues, like each party's deadlines, their reliance on other people's input and their responsibility to each other.

Find common ground Be solution-oriented rather than accusatory. Use your best negotiation techniques, striving for a win-win result. You want to help them reach a mutually agreeable solution. You may need to suggest possible compromises and this will be easier if you have helped them find points of agreement first.

Know when to remove yourself If the intervention gets out of hand and tempers start flaring, call a time-out and tell the workplace warriors to take a breather. If you see that this is beyond your scope of abilities, you might need to report the issue to a higher-up, if you haven't already done so. Decide on this in advance and be sure to tell both parties of your intention, or you'll be branded a stool pigeon.

Go to your superior Ask for a meeting with your manager or Human Resources specialist. To ensure you don't look like a complainer, tell your higher-up that the tension between your teammates is counterproductive and impacting employee morale. Your manager might not want to be bothered by interoffice conflicts, hurt feelings and egos, so explain that you tried to deal with the issue yourself and ask for additional suggestions.

Maintain your professionalism Don't toot your own horn. If senior management hears about your involvement in reconciling two battling colleagues, let it be from the parties involved. Maintain their confidentiality. Act like nothing ever happened and the two people you helped will appreciate and respect you.

Consider your career No one wants to get involved in a workplace battle, but the risk might be worth taking if the conflicts begin destroying efficiency and morale. Those involved might even thank you. On the other hand, they might start a conflict with you, so consider your options carefully.

Before donning your superhero costume and trying to save the day, make sure you examine the situation thoroughly and act in the best interests of your own career.

ANGER MANAGEMENT IN THE WORKPLACE All of us get angry from time to time. How we manage it makes a big difference in our work lives. Excessive anger causes health problems like skyrocketing blood pressure, pounding headaches, painful ulcers, and digestive disorders. It can also seriously impact your career.

Anger management issues might be hindering your work performance and reducing your opportunities for advancement. It's important to recognize the signs and understand how to control your reactions.

How angry are you?

At one point or another, everyone gets angry at work. That's normal. But how you deal with it is what matters.

Ask Yourself: 1. Do your colleagues often tell you to relax?

2. Are your colleagues afraid to give you bad news?

3. Are co-workers reluctant to work with you?

4. Have you been reprimanded about how you deal with confrontations?

5. Is there usually a need for a mediator in "discussions" with colleagues?

6. Does criticism make you defensive and angry?

7. Do you lose focus on the task at hand when you get angry?

8. Do you often have an outburst, and find yourself apologizing later?

9. Have anger issues ever been mentioned in your Performance Review?

Did you answer "yes" to three or more? If so, then you may have a problem controlling your anger. But relax; it's manageable. yeller or seether?

There are two diametrically opposite ways of reacting to anger-inducing problems at work.

The Yeller is the guy who can't hold in his anger and explodes regularly. The Seether allows his anger to slowly boil inside him. He doesn't voice his frustrations.

The Yeller If your usual manner of making your point involves volume, and your body language unmistakably demonstrates your frustration or displeasure, you're a Yeller.

A Yeller's emotions and lack of control can damage his career. Having a volatile personality is a hindrance at work because people will not want to collaborate with you. You may even be accused of harassment.

Some Yellers are totally out of control. They explode with unbridled emotion. They rant and rave regularly and this frightens people. If you've hollered in anger in a business situation more than three times in your career, you're likely considered to be undisciplined, untrustworthy and unable to handle adversity or pressure. Maybe that's not an accurate assessment, but people are entitled to their perceptions.

In some ways, a Yeller is easier for employees, superiors and co-workers to deal with because they know what to expect. Staff members and customers avoid having to interact with a Yeller, destroying any opportunity of successful teamwork.

How The Yeller can deal with anger: Take a walk A 10-minute walk will clear your mind. If you're in a meeting and you feel your blood starting to boil, excuse yourself and make haste for the men's room. Walk on by and take a quick stroll to change your scenery and attitude.

Cough A well-executed cough allows you to disguise your flaring temper. You'll cover your mouth, lower your eyes and focus on a physical and vocal action that does not involve loud words, grand gestures and unbridled rage. Try it. It really works.

Listen Let others speak and do not interrupt. Avoid flying off the handle -- you may be jumping to conclusions. "Your shipment arrived late..." could be the start of a sentence that will end with "...but I was thrilled with the quality of your product and want to order more." Don't cut that customer off mid-sentence with an angry rebuttal about his last minute ordering practices.

Make a note Write down everything that makes you angry. Lock the list in your desk drawer. When you become frustrated, pull out the list and add a description of the incident. This simple act refocuses your thoughts and energy into a more positive and less destructive action.

The Seether Maybe you never yell. You just silently seethe, allowing anger and frustration to build up.

The Seether loses sight of the ultimate goal and big picture. He gets sidetracked by minor annoyances and frustrations.

Do your emotions often evolve into righteous anger?

Seethers are attracted to gripe sessions. Gather around the proverbial water cooler and listen to all the grievances. Petty frustrations can fuel your emotions and your anger will soon be out of proportion.

A Seether is often more difficult to deal with than a Yeller. He can be passive aggressive, controlling and hard to read. He may be irrational and paranoid; feeling as though everyone is conspiring against him.

When a Seether turns into a Yeller, his thoughts and actions are destructive and way out of proportion. Most of the perpetrators of workplace shootings were silent seethers until the perceived wrongdoings and accumulation of irritants put them over the top.

How The Seether can deal with anger: Understand your anger Try to pinpoint the real reason for your anger. Maybe burnout or unrealistic deadlines are contributing to your angst. If this is the case, speak to a superior, look into time management at work, or consider delegating some of your tasks if possible. There are solutions to every problem. Stewing about them will not resolve them.

React rationally Don't let your anger fester inside. The next time someone or something at work makes you angry, make sure to react appropriately and avoid turning into a sitting time bomb. Breathe.

Count to 10. When you're ready, confront the person calmly and describe your issue. Use words like "I feel" or "I think" rather than "You're wrong" or "you're an idiot." Do this in a closed-off room. Better yet, invite the other person for coffee or beer to discuss and resolve the matter professionally and amicably.

Vent Find someone you trust and vent your frustrations. If something is still ticking you off when you get home, let it out by talking to a buddy, relative or girlfriend. This is a great outlet for defusing anger, and when you get to work the next day, you'll likely feel relieved. If you still

need to address issues with your colleagues or boss, you will be able to do it much more clearly, logically and dispassionately.

Stand up for your rights Righteous indignation is self-defeating but if, after a clear assessment of the facts, you're certain that you've been wronged, take appropriate action. Learn how to deal with conflict in a non-threatening way will boost your self-confidence and your career potential. If you keep everything inside, you will destroy your drive.

Still feeling angry?

Try counseling If you can't control your anger issues, look into counseling. Many companies offer career guidance or therapists' services to employees. Yellers and Seethers may be suffering from clinical depression, a very treatable illness. There's no shame in trying to improve your image and boost your career, and confidentiality is assured.

Change jobs If all else fails, ask yourself whether you're angry everywhere or just at work. If your job is making you miserable, maybe a change is in order. This does not mean you are admitting failure -- you're taking responsibility for your career and finding something that's a better fit personally and professionally.

Take control of your anger Lots of interactions, circumstances and situations in business are beyond our control. What we can control is our reaction. Fits of rage and silent stewing have no place in a business environment.

Find the root of your anger, understand what sets you off and take corrective action.

Exercise self-discipline, achieve balance in your life and let go of your negativity. You work too hard to let anger hinder you from getting results and advancing in your career.

9 WAYS TO BE MORE SOCIAL WITH YOUR BOSS What's the easiest way to make it to the top? Hard work and ambition never hurt. But there's something a lot easier you can do that almost always helps -- become better friends with your boss.

So how do you go from being Joe Employee to right-hand man? Check out these tips, and learn how to get in good with the powers that be.

1- Ask about his family How to do it: It seems like a clich, but your boss really will appreciate it if you demonstrate that you remember the names of significant others, spouses and children.

What to say: The next time he mentions his wife or his son, slip the relative's actual name into the conversation. Follow up on old conversations you've had about his family and ask how his son is doing in Little League, for example.

The limitations: Don't overdo it. If you ask about the family too often, your boss might find it invasive, or worse yet, a little creepy.

2- Discover your common interests How to do it: Try to uncover something -- anything -- that you and your boss are both interested in. Does he have a tennis racket or set of golf clubs resting in the corner of his office? Is there a book about photography sitting on the shelf? Just keep your eyes and ears open. People have all types of passions and hobbies, so there's bound to be some interests you share.

What to say: Once you know what it is you have in common, give some subtle hints that the interest is mutual. Leave a copy of Golf Digest prominently displayed on your desk. Or mention that you're planning to catch the new photography exhibit downtown.

The limitations: Don't force yourself or pretend to be interested in something you're not.

Most people can see right through that, and it reeks of brown-nosing.

3- Talk about the weekend How to do it: Inquire about your boss' weekend, and before you know it, you'll be part of those weekend plans.

What to say: Come Fridays, get in the habit of asking your boss what he has planned for the weekend. And get in the habit of asking how his weekend went on Monday morning. Don't be afraid to ask specific questions about what he did, if he told you before the weekend.

The limitations: Don't get too personal. If, for some reason, your boss seems to be avoiding the question, take the hint.

4- Encourage invitations How to do it: It might be too forward to ask your boss to join you for drinks straight out.

But you can start by dropping subtle hints about where you're headed after work.

What to say: Talk about where you usually go for happy hour, or be sure to mention when you're making a trip to the coffee shop. You don't need to invite him out for coffee, but you can offer to bring him something back.

The limitations: Subtlety is key. If you make it obvious that you're fishing for an invitation, you'll probably never get one.

5- Offer him snacks you bring from home How to do it: Did your wife bake a cake? Do you have appetizing leftovers from the gourmet dinner you cooked the other night? Bring these types of things to the office more often, and offer them to your boss.

What to say: Just offer something to your boss the next time you're snacking at your desk as he walks by.

The limitations: It's fairly obvious, but only offer him food that tastes good. You don't want to put your boss in the awkward position of having to be polite.

6- Exercise with your boss How to do it: Take note of your boss' workout routine, and try to adopt parts of it yourself.

What to say: If you visit the gym at the office, then this is a no-brainer: simply schedule your workouts to coincide with his. Even if you don't have a gym at the office, you can mention in passing the route you run or bike through on the weekends, and encourage him to join you.

The limitations: Some people prefer to work out alone. If your boss gives the signal that he or she likes to go solo, lay off.

7- Be more informal in your e-mail How to do it: Use a friendlier, more casual and conversational tone in e-mail exchanges.

What to say: Sign off with words like "thanks" or "best," instead of "regards." And leave out salutations like "dear" and "to."

The limitations: Only set this tone if your boss has already done it with you. The surest way to know if your boss is okay with this type of informality is if he uses it first.

8- Become an expert How to do it: Become an expert on a subject that's useful to your boss -- be it work-related or otherwise -- and it will encourage him or her to approach you more often with questions, which can be a great starting point for conversations.

What to say: Offer your boss advice, but stay modest. No one likes a know-it-all or showoff.

The limitations: Always remain professional -- offer your thoughts only when you're asked.

There's a fine line between being helpful and being annoying.

9- Have a good sense of humor How to do it: Above all, show your boss what a funny guy you can be. Everyone loves to laugh, and we all tend to surround ourselves with people who can make us laugh.

What to say: Make jokes and funny observations whenever an opportunity presents itself.

(Just make sure they're actually funny).

The limitations: Keep things tasteful. Trust your instincts about jokes that your boss may find inappropriate or offensive. be a buddy, not a suck-up Remember that there's a fine line between being nice and more social, and sucking up. Make sure you don't cross it -- never feign interest in something just to please your boss, and be receptive to hints that you're being too forward. Above all, just trust your instincts.

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF AT WORK You got served. No, it's not the title of a movie, but rather a reality check after being handed a pink slip at your workplace.

Unfortunately, many a good man has been fired because he didn't have the foresight (or hindsight) to take the necessary steps to document his actions and cover himself. See if this sounds familiar: There you stand, thunderstruck, with your mouth hanging open because you were just royally chewed out by your boss for something that you're not responsible for and had no control over.

As you creep back to your desk you wonder, "How did that happen?"

The question you should be asking yourself is, "How can I keep that from happening again?"

Or better yet, "How can I prove that I didn't do it?"

In today's overly competitive workplace, there are always "wolves" waiting to devour unsuspecting prey. In your office, the "wolf" might be the guy in the next office who's after your job. It might even be the imbecile who got a job because of his daddy.

Always be vigilant but not necessarily paranoid. Here are three examples of potentially dangerous situations and what you can do as a preemptive strike or to minimize the damage after the fact.

1- The subordinate who wants to "run something by you" You're busy preparing for a meeting with the boss and "Joe" walks into your office and says, "Bob, I was thinking about revising the whole Peterson Presentation and using projected figures instead of the actual figures we came up with."

In your haste to get to the meeting, you say something like, "sounds like a plan to me," and rush out the door. So, the guy goes back to his office and changes all the figures. When your boss sees the report, he becomes irate because no one told him about this change. You get the blame because "Joe" ran it by you and you agreed with it.

Preemptive strike: As soon as you get out of the meeting with your boss, send an e-mail to "Joe" telling him that his idea may work but you want to see both presentations before you make a final decision. You also copy your boss on the e-mail so he's kept in the loop.

Damage control: Not much to do here except make the best of a bad situation. Carefully explain to your boss that Joe ran the idea by you and you briefly considered it and told him to go ahead. Also explain that you have the original numbers and will replace them in the presentation at once.

2- The procrastinating partner You're working on a project with other individuals and you can't do your part until someone else finishes their part and hands it off to you. Invariably, the other person hands the project off to you on the morning it's due and there's no way you'll have time to complete it by the deadline.

Unfortunately, the deadline can't be changed because the project has to be presented to the president of the company today, as he's leaving to go out of the country for several weeks.

Since yours is the only part of the project that's not finished, guess who looks like a slacker?

Preemptive strike: Fortunately, this scenario is relatively easy to deal with if you stay on top of it. If you have an idea how long it'll take you to complete your part of the project, you should send a polite e-mail to your co-worker a few days ahead of time reminding them that your portion of the project is dependent on them completing their portion, and that you'll need at least X number of days to complete your piece. You can also be specific and state that you would appreciate having the report given to you by no later than a certain date. As that date draws near, send another polite e-mail.

If the deadline is here and you still don't have the report, send an e-mail to the co-worker reminding him of the other e-mail you sent and explain that you can still get your part done (if you work late) as long as they have it to you by tomorrow. You should also copy your boss on this e-mail. Don't BCC your boss; you want the other guy to know that your boss knows.

Damage control: If you didn't think ahead enough to send e-mail and the deadline has passed, you might still be able to salvage yourself. Go back and make note of the dates and times you spoke to your colleague about the project. If you can't remember exactly when you spoke to them, try to estimate as closely as you can.

3- Someone is after your reputation Someone, for whatever reason, has you in their sights and has made it their mission to discredit you and try to ruin your reputation. There are many ways this conniving individual may attack, from spreading false rumors to accidentally "losing" your work. Fortunately there are some things you can do.

Preemptive strike: There isn't a lot you can do before the fact in this situation because you usually don't know it's happening until it has already started. You can stop it in its tracks and clean up the mess if you jump on it fast enough, however.

Damage control: The first thing you must do is resolve not to be intimidated. If someone tells you something they heard about you and it's not true, ask them straight out from whom they heard it. Don't back down. You need to find out who's out to get you. Once you're sure

who the culprit is, confront them in a professional but undeniably straightforward manner. It might go something like this: "Bob, I understand that you've been telling people that it was my fault that we lost the Hobson account. I know you've been doing it because each person that I've talked to about it mentions your name. I want it to stop, now. You know we lost the account because our costs went up and we couldn't compete. Is there any confusion regarding what I've said?

Good. I'll be following this up with an e-mail later today."

Protect your sources, it's none of Bob's business who you heard it from and if he asks, you don't have to tell him. He'll get the picture. After you're done talking to him, go back to your office and e-mail Bob the following: Bob, this is a follow-up from our conversation earlier today about the Hobson account. As you know, we were no longer the lower cost provider and consequently lost the account.

There is no single individual to blame and blame does not help us fulfill our mission. I hope we can learn from this experience and perhaps do better with our next bid. I will be glad to be of assistance in any way possible, just let me know if there is anything I can do and I will be glad to help you.

What you've done here is covered yourself threefold: A- You documented that you had a conversation with Bob that day about the Hobson account.

B- You stated in a professional way that trying to blame someone does not accomplish anything.

C- You've documented that you're willing to help now and in the future. general tips If you haven't figured it out yet, the preemptive strike is the ideal way to go. Always try to think ahead regarding what documentation you might need in order to protect yourself. Here are some tips to use on a daily basis: Send an e-mail regarding projects, issues, etc., whenever possible and print out a hard copy to file away.

Keep a separate file at home or elsewhere. Be careful that you don't take confidential documents out of your office if your organization has a policy against it.

Keep a file of all correspondence you send out over the course of the year. You may want to call it your "2004 Sent" file. This might be a pretty thick file by the end of the year, but you will have an accurate record of everything you sent out. It can be invaluable when you have to prove that you did or didn't do something.

Copy your correspondence liberally. You should always copy someone if you mention him or her in your memo, e-mail, etc. Copying also lets more than one person know what you did.

If you leave someone a voicemail and later need to follow-up with them about the subject of the voicemail, mention that in a memorandum or e-mail. For example, you might send a memo stating "As I mentioned in my voice message last Tuesday, we need those figures by the 18th of this month."

In general, it's better to over-communicate than under-communicate. cover yourself at all times Well, there you have it. It may seem like a lot of work to keep yourself covered but if you have ever had to give a deposition or defend yourself in court, you know that the time you spend sending e-mail and keeping copies of memos is nothing compared to trying to reconstruct an event from memory alone.

Mr. Batts has been in the Human Resources profession for over 15 years. He teaches Human Resources classes at the university level and is also nationally certified as a Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR).

MANAGING STRESS AT WORK My friend Neil was in bad shape. His department at work had been cut six weeks before and management quietly forced him to assimilate two new job functions. Not only had several co-workers been downsized, a good college buddy among them, but he was still expected to handle all of his regular tasks with the usual aplomb.

This addition without subtraction came with a steep learning curve -- many hours of unpaid overtime and not much outside help.

The strain was exacting a toll on his quality of life. The prankster I used to hang with on the weekends was nowhere to be found. He barely had any energy to socialize and with his mind completely consumed with work, good sleep was hard to come by. His haggard appearance and broken disposition were obvious signs that he had become yet another victim of job related stress.

Stress is the norm Stress has become a clich in our work-obsessed society. It is expected and even instilled within corporate cultures. Worse yet, however, stress is glorified and sought after in many instances by employees themselves.

Greater job specialization, rapid technological advances and exponential increases in global competition have transformed us into sadists as we clamor to get noticed by the boss and carve out a meaningful career.

But what career has meaning at the end of the day when the physical and mental costs transform you into an automaton with no discernible level of happiness?

Symptoms of job hysteria Consider if you will the typical symptoms of job stress: Migraines Trouble with concentration Lack of quality sleep Irritability Nausea or upset stomach Depression Even if you suffer from one or two of these symptoms, just how long do you think you can persevere before you have a complete breakdown, accident or fallout with a significant other? Do our obligations to our employers run that deep, in order to merit these consequences? I sincerely doubt it.

Enough research has been done on the subject of job stress to suggest that the costs, not only to individuals but also to society and government, are astronomical, if not impossible to calculate.

Many experts maintain that jobs with high stress increase the risk of heart disease. Ever get a backache when you sit at your desk for hours at a time? Research done by many organizations infers that musculoskeletal disorders can develop because of stress and overwork.

The mental and emotional damage aggravated by stress is certainly not an enigma anymore either. Burnout and depression are the most ominous psychological threats.

Other potential serious consequences of stress such as suicide and cancer require more study and research but even with the jury out on any definite connections, who wants to play with fire and wait for the final decision?

No time, no energy, no care It is evident after all, that when you are under considerable stress, you have less energy, time and sheer will to take care of yourself the way a human being must in order to uphold a decent level of physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health.

Employers need to recognize that in the long run, a healthy employee, in every sense of the word, is far more effective than an overworked, underpaid and underappreciated employee.

Appreciation is at the heart of the matter. This assertion runs counter to some of the socalled expert findings out there, but I believe that an employee who is stretched to the limit with work, but is recognized by his organization as a valuable asset in a demonstrative sense, will not suffer from the most grim results of stress.

More employers need to standardize employee evaluation and appreciation, in order to weed out the good from the bad and put in place a method of recognition to inspire and boost morale. The opportunity to develop a solid career, combined with a positive corporate culture, has a far better chance to nullify the negative effects of job stress.

Check your j-o-b The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) has a wealth of information and research data on job stress in America. They suggest a few steps that organizations can take to help prevent what has become an epidemic in our society.

While the steps are aimed at employers per se, they are useful as a prospective course of action to follow for individuals with the courage to lead the charge against the harmful effects of stress in their workplace.

Identify the problem

Resources and number of employees aside, NIOSH suggests that discussions between management and labor representatives are the first steps to glean valuable insight on the causes of stress.

Sometimes a round table meeting once a month is enough to provide a panacea to the problem. Large firms have the resources to take the information born out of these summits and generate formal surveys to garner employee input on stressful conditions within the organization. The subsequent analysis of this data can lead to corrective policy and protocol.

Design & implement changes Inherent in this step are numerous other small steps that must take place before real change is evident and problem stress is no longer pervasive. Poor communication in a particular department, for example, can be resolved rather quickly, while wholesale organizational change, such as process reform, can take months and millions of dollars in investment.

One universal rule does apply, however, no matter what the causes of the stress: employees must be kept in the loop before any interventions take place. Empowering people with choice and a voice is the first step to boosting morale and lowering stress in the first place.

Evaluate the changes NIOSH urges organizations to conduct short and long term appraisals of any interventions to ease job stress. Simple in theory of course, but much more awkward in reality. To be sure, early positive signs can disappear over time and any smart employer will want to avoid that.

But how can you measure progress objectively?

Focus on the same data that came out of the initial discussions on employee perceptions of stress and job conditions, morale, satisfaction with work, and health problems for one.

Meetings with appropriate representatives to gauge the success of the improvements are always extremely instructive and, of course, like any other process, enhancements to job conditions with an eye towards stress reduction must be continuous and dynamic.

Do it yourself Employees need not wait for their respective company to take notice of their plight and institute change. You do have the right to voice your displeasure, whether you work for a small organization or a global multinational.

It is nave to assume that we can eliminate job stress altogether, but it is also wrong to expect anyone to suffer physical and psychological damage in order to do their job.

Demand change, demand compensation or like my friend Neil, get out of there while you still have your sanity and learn to live again.