Embarrassing Adventures of an Expat in Tokyo by Carol Kavanagh

Embarrassing Adventures of an Expat in Tokyo As I walked through Kichijoji’s streets, I was handed a flyer for a kawaii cat café. I had to go in, the cats were calling, My feet lead me there without delay.

I rolled up my sleeves, A cool cat was eyeing me up as I walked over. He sat on his shelf with a denim jacket on, My hand went for his head, he gave me the cold shoulder.

Suddenly, in one quick swoop, his paw flew towards me, I drew away from him, his face full of glee. My face full of shock, his stature was proud, He fixed his denim jacket while watching me flee.

I escaped towards a box seat on the ground, I thought I’ll sit here and wait for a cat who is sound. Without knowing it, the box was hollow, My arse went through it like there was no tomorrow.

A member of staff looked completely shocked, While all the furry felines pointed and mocked. Jesus, I thought, get me out of here fast, Before I sit on a cat with my big fat ass.

I ran for the door with my embarrassed face, Leaving the cat café, I had now defaced.

It was definitely time to relax at the beach. So I went on my way, I hopped on the train to Enoshima Bay. The aquarium was my first destination, I goggled at the giant jellyfish, and crusty crustaceans.

I was in the mood for an ice-cream, So I walked onto the promenade with the sea on my left, I was two licks in when I witnessed daylight theft!

Large shadows appeared on the pavement below, A creepy claw scraped my hand with one sharp blow.

Onto the rocks, the ice-cream splattered, Holding only the cone, I ran for cover, Embarrassed and battered.

Embarrassing Adventures of an Expat in Tokyo I threw what was left into a shrub, It was highly likely they’d come back for more. What kind of birds even eat ice-cream anyway!? What kind of birds could be so hardcore?

Hawks! Hawks! And a shitload too! They patrolled the sky, Doing Satan’s work as they flew.

I needed a drink or two after that ordeal, Friends advised that clubbing would be ideal.

Drinks were had and dancing was done, It all only stopped with the rising of the sun. So I hopped on the first train in the morning, My eyes suddenly drifted without warning.

I woke to find I was in the inaka, Any further and I would have ended up in Osaka. The mountains were high, the afternoon sun ablaze, I bought my ticket back home in a sweaty, drunken haze.

The embarrassment wasn’t over yet, As soon as I got to my station, I broke out in a cold sweat. My stomach was turning, my legs heavy as bricks, I made a dash off the train and spurted projectile sick.

Luckily I had made it to the toilet on time, Any later and the commuters would be slipping in slime.

I was never so glad to see my bed, But it would only be a few hours until, The nightmarish hangover, full of fear and dread.

So there you have it, my truly embarrassing adventures in Tokyo. These mistakes are made by me, so you don’t have to. I hope I’ve managed to entertain with my pitfalls and woes. Feel free to read this during your JET life’s highs and lows.

The End.

Carol is a second-year JET teacher living in the west of Tokyo. She comes from Ireland and has been writing since she was a young child. Her first poem was published when she was thirteen years old and writing has remained one of her favorite hobbies since then, along with art and photography.